Author's Note

Numbuh 711 - Mission Logg #01

Hey y'all. Trojan here. It's been a while since I've posted anything, huh? Anyway, I started writing this a few weeks ago, but now I've gotten to a point where I can start uploading it.

I've done quite a bit of greentext writing on /mlp/ (you might know me better as 'writeslut'), but it's actually been a while since I've written a proper fanfiction, and it's been years since I've written a Kids Next Door fanfiction (I think the last one I tried was in 2011?), so you'll have to forgive me if I'm a little rusty. However, I was inspired to write this when the infamous g:KND teaser landed, and it's probably gonna stay in my head until it's done. I was also, admittedly kind of inspired to do this by another KND crossover fanfic on here, Codename: Cutie Mark Crusaders (Hey, Amante! When's the next update, bub?).

As stated in the description, in this continuity Codename: FND takes place after Bloom and Gloom, but it will almost assuredly become an alternate universe by the end, especially if Season 5 pulls a major game-changer for the Cutie Mark Crusaders (i.e. them getting their cutie marks). One word of advice when reading is to enjoy the ride and remember that nothing is ever as it truly seems...

Begin transmission...▮

Operation: C.U.T.I.E.-M.A.R.K. (01)

please enter your codenumbuh
711
please enter your password for confirmation
AnonIsAMeaniePants▮
confirmed
executive writing operative: numbuh 711, double-codenamed 'trojanhorse'
logging in...
successfully logged in!
cd mission files
load operation_cutiemark.fnd
now loading
foals next door mission

operation: c.u.t.i.e.-m.a.r.k.▮

decrypting mission acronym
cutie-mark
union
test
interested

equines

marks
aren't
really
kool?▮

begin mission? (y/n)
y▮

No pony knew where he came from that fateful Tuesday.

Well, that wasn't exactly true; he said he came from a distant island off the coast of Saddle Arabia. But his appearance, a rough-ish looking red unicorn with a hoodie, certainly didn't make him seem like it. Perhaps it was the way he dressed back home? Certainly he wasn't familiar to anyone in Ponyville.

Nevertheless, it was Wednesday that this new young unicorn colt began his first day at Ponyville Elementary.

"Good morning, class!" beamed Ms. Cheerilee.

Every student beamed and said "Good Morning Ms. Cheerilee" to their lovely teacher. Every student, of course, except the new pony. No one really mentioned it, out of sheer politeness, though no doubt it got everypony wondering. The fillies who wondered most of all were the Cutie Mark Crusaders, mostly because for some reason he had no cutie mark. They didn't say a word about it, but they thought it. Would this pony be a great new member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders?

"As you might have heard, we have a new student joining us today. Would you please introduce yourself to the class?"

Wordlessly, the young colt nodded and went up to the front of the classroom.

To the Crusaders' surprise, despite how rough-ish and thick he dressed he made no attempt whatsoever to hide his flank. His very, VERY bare flank.

He scanned the entire class, before giving his 'welcome speech'.

"Greetings, fillies and colts. I no doubt may have caused a bit of commotion for showing up in town one day. But that isn't to say I am not your friend. Everyone, my name is One-Hit Wonder."

One-Hit Wonder. That was his name. He hadn't mentioned it at all before, and it never really came up because up to that point he avoided most interaction with everypony else.

Scootaloo felt a bit offput by his name, however. That sounded like something a hitmare would be called. Or an assassin. Or something.

It definitely fit his wardrobe, she noticed. But he felt a little too polite. She almost expected him to have a more 'tough-guy' accent, almost like a younger Rainbow Dash...except not a unicorn.

She wondered if that made sense in her head.

"As I've already explained before class, I've moved in from a distant island off the coast of Saddle Arabia, the name of which is really hard to pronounce, so...I might not be accustomed to the locale of Ponyville. You'll have to forgive me on that."

He gave a small smile. Maybe it was to have everypone who was offput by him remain calm.

'Maybe it was to assure them that he meant no harm,' Scootaloo thought. 'Or maybe it's to lead them into a false sense of security.'

"But I'm open to this new...experience, so I hope to start my days in Ponyville off on the right note."
He sat back down as the classroom gave a mild round of applause.

"Thank you, One-Hit Wonder," Cheerilee smiled. "We're excited to have you here. I...I hope the classrooms of Ponyville aren't that different from those of your hometown."

"No, no, of course not," he said with a cheesy grin.

'Yep, something's off about him,' Scootaloo thought. 'There's no way someone with that unfriendly name, that unfriendly hoodie and no cutie mark can be THAT, well, friendly. But he seems so friendly, I kind of want to believe...'

"Well, if there are no more questions," said Cheerilee, "I think we can get started. Now, open your books to page 30 and..."

Hours later, the bell finally rung free, giving the young fillies and colts the liberty of leaving the classroom. And to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, it meant that now was the time of their newest and biggest stunt to try and get their cutie marks.

"Well, ah hope yer ready," Apple Bloom called, a smile on her face, "cause it's gettin' about that time!"

Sweetie Belle grinned, and giggled in excitement. Scootaloo grinned, but it wasn't a full-fledged grin like Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom.

"Apple Bloom, are you sure this is gonna get us our cutie marks?"

"Sure it is, Scoots!"

"I mean, these past few ones were kinda, well..."

She didn't want to say 'ruined', or 'sabotaged', because using those terms typically made fate do them over. Turns out that wasn't the case today, as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, the two biggest bullies in Ponyville Elementary, appeared before them.

Before any of them could prepare for their typical volley of insults, they called over to another pony, specifically the affably roughish unicorn.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't One-Hit Wonder," sneered the pink filly.

He didn't respond, and he simply walked right past them. He didn't even tense up as they spoke condescendingly to him, something very few classmates did.

Undaunted, she continued “...I'm sorry, I meant to say One Hit Blunder!”

"Well, well, well,” he snapped, “if I could find a well to wish upon that would be wonderful.” He paused for just a moment before continuing. "I'm to assume you know exactly where the well might be, then? Might be a good home for you."

This was hardly a blow to their ego, but nevertheless one which Silver Spoon fumed at. Diamond Tiara didn't even twitch, so she smirked, "Even if I did, why would I tell that to a blank flank?"

As Diamond Tiara and her cohort, Silver Spoon, used their whole inventory of 'blank-flank insults' towards One-Hit Wonder, the Crusaders cringed.

'Yeesh,' Scootaloo thought, 'not even two full days in Ponyville and they're already doing their whole routine.'

One thing they noticed, however, was that he didn't even bat an eye. One-Hit did, however, give her a grimace. “And why is being a 'Blank Flank' a bad thing, might I ask?"

"Because like, you don't have your cutie mark, so you may talk big but you're good for nothing as far as I'm concerned."

Here, he gave a sly smile. 'Uh-oh, what does he have in mind?'

“Tell me, miss...erm," he coughed, as it slowly dawned on him that he didn't know her name.

"Diamond Tiara."

"Tell me, Diamond Tiara, is a 'cutie mark' really everything about a pony?"

She cocked her head in slight confusion. "Of course, blank-flank. It's what makes a pony complete! You of all fillies should know this."

One-Hit smile became smug with the force of a thousand smirks. It was a smirk that would make Rainbow Dash proud. "So in other words you're just a self-absorbed snob? Is that right?"

The surrounding fillies all 'ohhhhhh'-ed at the most heavy-hoofed insult he just gave, Crusaders included. No pony had ever dealt a blow like that to her ego before.

“Wha- how dare you!" she yelled.

"Am I wrong, then?" he questioned.

Diamond Tiara's face was red as a beet. 'I've never seen her get THAT angry before,' Scootaloo thought.

"Of course you are! Just because I have a crown cutie mark doesn't mean I'm a jerk."

Scootaloo heavily considered butting in to point out her hypocrisy. But she didn't. It sounded like One-Hit Wonder had it under control.

"So we're technically in agreement. A cutie mark does not and shouldn't define who we are. So now you can cease with the blank flank insult," he stated. His face then slackened, probably because he was done with his moment of ego deflation. “Thank you, and have a jolly good day.”

He then started to walk off, before Diamond Tiara cut him off. As coolly as One-Hit handled that situation she was never one to take things lying down.

"Listen here, One-Hit Blunder," she hissed, her face ascrunched with anger, "just because you're new here doesn't mean you're exempt from the pecking order. To me, you're nothing but a blank flank."

He gave a matching scrunch to compensate. "You may talk big," he snarled, repeating her words to her face, "but to me, you're nothing but a bully who picks wholly unnecessary fights because she can." Then, he gave her a glare that could pierce actual diamonds. "Be warned, though, I'm not the pony you want to pick fights with."

She paused, as if to wrap her head around what he'd said.

"Not the pony to pick- you're the one picking fights, One-Bit!" she yelled.

"I made zero effort to ambush you, Diamond Tiara; if anything I was the one who got ambushed. However I'm about leave this dialogue, so I would seriously advise-"

Angrily, she tried to buck him in the face, interrupting his train of thought. Almost effortlessly, One-Hit Wonder ducked out of the way and grabbed her hind legs in place, prompting a number of worried gasps from the surrounding schoolfillies. He did not let go, and the pink, pompous filly struggled to escape his grasp.

"Urgh! Lemme go! GRRR!" Diamond Tiara grunted as she tried to break free from his hooves.

"Like I said," he growled in his most 'unfriendly' tone he made since coming to Ponyville, "I'm not the pony you want to pick fights with."

After he felt he made his point clear, he gently let go of the school bully and continued on his intended path doing...'whatever it was these Saddle-Arabian islanders did', Scootaloo thought. I need to ask him sometime.

'Not because I kind of like him,' she reasoned. 'Because he's a new pony...a cool new pony. Right.'

In the meantime, the Crusaders thought it best to go Crusading before things got out of hoof again.

"Alright, so, Apple Bloom. Let me see if I've got this straight."

As it turned out, today's crusade took place in the thick of the apple forest. Apple Bloom had something somewhat different planned for this particular crusade.

"This potion you wanted us to try is supposed to take a tree sapling and turn it into a tree."

"Not exactly, Scoots. See, me an' Sweetie Belle learned a spell from Zecora that kin transmutate-"

"Transfuse,” Sweetie corrected.

"Yeah, transfusate, two objects together the other day. So ah thought maybe we could fuse a tree," she held up an apple tree sapling to showcase, "an' a house together to grow a new clubhouse!"

"A..new clubhouse?"

"Oooh, maybe it'll be bigger than the one we have!"

That sounded like a great idea in Scootaloo's head. It had so much potential, and it could that one 'idea' that gained them their cutie marks.A cutie mark in house growing. That sounded amazing, if not innovative.
However it had all the potential to go wrong. Horseshoe's Law, or something like that.

"Are you sure it'll work?"

"Well, Sweetie, are you up to try it?"

"Yep! I've been getting really good with my magic, so...well, I'm confident."

Somehow, Scootaloo doubted that.

"We don't even have a house to transformate-"

"Transfuse."

"Whatever. Are you saying we're fusing OUR clubhouse with the tree?"

With a grin on her face, Apple Bloom brought out a piece of paper.

"This here blue-color paper-"

"Schematic."

"Sure. This schematic is gonna be the blood o' the sapling fer the treehouse to grow from, and-"

They then heard a rustle in the tree above them, making the fillies jump for a moment in surprise. "Pardon me for interrupting, but..." drawled the voice of One-Hit Wonder, "did I just hear that you wanted to grow a treehouse?"

The three fillies looked up at the tree. Indeed, the new colt had followed them for some reason.

"Whoa! Aren't you One-Hit Wonder?" Scootaloo called.

"Yes, that's my name."

The Crusaders stalled their plan to fangirl over the new colt, giving him compliments such as "You really showed those two bullies!" and "That speech was so awesome!" and "You didn't even flinch when they called you a blank flank!" and-

"Whoaaa, whoa, settle down,” he chuckled. “I'm not here to be fangirled over. I was just passing by, but I couldn't help but notice what you were trying to do. It sounds very...well, interesting, to say the least."

They calmed down and explained to them their idea, from start to finish.

"...so you think that by transfusing a treehouse schematic and an unborn sapling and by casting a spell it will somehow grow a treehouse, construction materials and everything? Is that what I'm hearing?"

"...well when you put it that way, it kinda does sound silly," admitted Sweetie Belle, her optimism draining slightly.

"But we think we can do it!” reassured Apple Bloom. “Ah saw the spell in action before, and ah think this has the kind o' power to work!"

He raised an eyebrow. 'Yep, he's definitely not convinced,' Scootaloo thought.

"I mean, we're not entirely sure it will work, but-"

"No, no, please, do continue," he assured, a mischievous smile forming on his face. "I'd love to see this magic happen."

They nodded, and with no further delays, Apple Bloom placed the treehouse schematics onto the sapling. Sweetie Belle then cast the transfiguration spell, to let the finer details written on the house seep into the unborn tree.

One-Hit Wonder watched very as the blueprints soaked into the infant plant. He made no change in expression, however. 'If he's impressed,' Scootaloo thought, 'he certainly doesn't show it.'

Then, Apple Bloom put two drops of the 'growth potion' onto the sapling.

They all watched in awe as the sapling transformed into what could only be called a pure tree-house. It was almost exactly the same as the blueprints showed.

"It worked! Ah can't believe it, it worked! ...well, kinda."

The only key difference was that the house was incredibly small, no taller than any of the fillies.

Scootaloo sighed in relief. Something had finally gone right. One of their crusades actually didn't burn up into smithereens! And in front of One-Hit, to boot! Sure, it hadn't been completely successfullbut the important thing is that it worked!

"Well, colour me impressed! It truly isn't something I see everyday," smiled One-Hit.

The Crusaders looked at their flanks in hopes that this was in fact their their calling.

...after a few moments, they sighed.

"Dang, I was sure that would be it."

"You were sure about what, exactly?" asked One-Hit Wonder. His smile had faded; not a good sign for Scootaloo.

"That it'd be what would get us our cutie marks. Buuut, it didn't."

He grimaced. "I see..."

Okay, something was up. Scootaloo could no longer deny it. Before she could push him on it, Apple Bloom asked, "Well, it's kinda our goal to find ways to get our cutie marks. And, well, ah know it's yer first day, but-"

He cut her off. "But you want me to join this Cutie Mark Crusaders club, am I correct?" She paused, surprised he knew about their club, and nodded to confirm. "Well I'm sorry to disappoint you three girls, but I'm not interested."

And he started walking off, potentially to never see them again.

"Well, wait a minute!” Apple Bloom called. Aren't y'all worried about not getting your cutie mark?"

He stopped, as if she struck a nerve with him.

"Look, I don't mean to be rude, but it's not that I do or don't want my cutie mark. It's just that I officially don't care, so to speak. If I'm good at something, I'll find it when it happens, but it's not my goal, and I don't want my cutie mark to become my goal, ever."

"An obsession?" Scootaloo wondered aloud.

"Yes. I've seen many young ponies back home be among the best ponies I've ever met. Once they got their...cutie marks, a good number of them changed, changed into something far worse, riddled with diseases such as an inflated ego. They became selfish, jaded, arrogant, all because they had their cutie mark now. Because to them, their cutie mark didn't just dictate their job. It became who they were. You three actively trying to get your cutie marks worries me a lot, to put it bluntly, but if you want to get your cutie marks, you need to know never to fall into the same patterns as this Diamond Tiara."

That really dampened their moods. For all their misdeeds, for all their misadventures, no pony had ever compared them to Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon.

"But by all means, go and search for what you want to be good at. However, if you want my advice, I would stop trying to be good at things you're not and start trying to hone the things you are. Because you still have your youth, your minds are still expanding, and your brilliance shines ever brightly than it ever will, so you have the power to define yourselves in ways other than your cutie mark.”

He sighed. “The world could use more ponies like that."

He once again tried to walk off, before being cut off yet again, this time by Scootaloo herself.

"Hold up. You've gone from friendly, to mister tough-pony, to gentle to, well, this! How are we supposed to believe you?!"

"You're not. A completely understandable reaction, all things considered.”

"And are you, of all the fillies in Equestria, REALLY gonna be the one saying we CAN'T prove ourselves?"

"Well, no. You can, and I think I know how, but I'd rather you find that out for yourself."

Before he could escape her annoyed rant, Scootaloo gave him one last question.

"Just who do you think you are, One-Hit Wonder?"

He paused, and stared directly at her. 'This wasn't a look of anger,' she noted. 'No, this was a look of wonder..'

"Someone," he said, "who can see the untapped potential you have, Scootaloo."

She gasped as he walked off, this time unstopped. She didn't know who this pony was beyond what he did today, but she knew for a fact she never told him her name...

transmission paused
save mission specs? (y/n)
y

logg out? (y/n)
y
numbuh 711 logged out▮