Derpy Submits a Story

by PaxusJKL

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sad, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 1614

What happens when your favorite lovable derpy submits a story?

Derpy writes fiction, but she's never shown anypony before. What will happen when she finally submits her story to a popular writing forum?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-15 18:54:01 UTC

Derpy Submits a Story

Once upon a time in Muffintopia, there lived a little muffin. Her name was Muffy!

She loved her life in Muffintopia, and had lots and lots of friends because she was really *really** popular.*

One day, she was walking to the big new mall that had just opened in Muffinlot when she spotted a small little muffin who was crying on the sidewalk. When she asked what was wrong the muffin just replied, "I don't know where my momma is."

Tears leaked down the poor muffins face as Muffy picked him up, cheerfully saying "C'mon little muffin, lets go find your momma!"

And so they set off together down the mall to look for his momma.

As they searched through the mall they came across many weird people and strange places, like a shop for giant hats, or a cake made of bamboo! However, after hours of searching for his momma, they came back empty handed. Muffy sat the little muffin down and spoke to him softly.

"Do you know the last time you saw your momma?" She asked politely and softly.

The little muffin began to shake, "Three years ago. She went to the store and never came back."

Muffy cuddled the little muffin very tight, whispering to him softly, "Would you like to come and live with me? i promise I won't ever leave you alone, and I'll keep you safe forever and you can eat cake and we can have lots of fun together with the rest of my family!"

So the little muffin agreed and came home with Muffy and they lived happily ever after, being happy and playing and buying stuff and hanging out with friends and just having a really nice time together! The end!

Derpy looked over her story with her mixed-up eyes.

"I like it!" She yelled out in glee as she set her pencil down and picked up the piece of paper that held her story. She neatly and accurately slid it inside an envelope nearby and sealed it with a wax token, writing down an address and some mailing information. Derpy liked to write, she wrote about everything! Sure, she didn't think that her stories were that great, but they all came from the bottom of her heart. From the experience and emotion that she had bottled up inside her. Behind those strange eyes sat a sensitive, loving, and caring creature like everypony else.

Derpy happily cantered up the stairs of the post office, almost tripping over the first step as she laughed to herself happily.

"Grandpa?" She called out as she reached the top of the stairs, "I have a delivery for you!"

= = =

Derpy awoke slowly, the morning sun glaring into her eyes, forcing her to get up. She yawned as she stretched, eager to get out from beneath the covers of her warm colorful bed. She stumbled towards the door clumsily as she tripped over stray bits of clothing and other paraphernalia. Her room was messy, but what could you expect from a pony like Derpy? She could never seem to keep it clean for more than a few days.

"Grandpa! Grandpa! Is it here?" She yelled out in loud anticipation as she galloped down the hallway and into the kitchen.

"Well I don't know Derpy, I only delivered it a couple days ago. I don't think-" Her old grey grandpa started while trying to read the newspaper with his failing eyesight.

"IT'S HERE" She screamed as she opened the mailbox pulling out a bundle of letters, all wrapped in a single red bow.

"Well that was fast." her grandpa said surprised as she slammed the door behind her and sat her bundle of letters down on the wooden kitchen table.

"I'm so excited! I wonder what they think of it! Do they think its good?" Derpy began to gush as she chewed open the red bow and let the letters fall to the table, "There must be hundreds of letters here grandpa!"

The letters came in all shapes and sizes, different colors and different styles, but most seemed to be just plain white letters with plain white standard. Each one was signed by a different pony with different handwriting, some good, some just above chicken scratch.

Derpy opened the first letter, a feeling of complete bliss running through her, but not unaccompanied by a feeling of dread.

What if they dislike it?

She read the first letter:

"A very cute story :) I love it."

They liked it!

She read another:

"Your grammar could use a little bit of work, but that's a really nice story!"

and another:

"I kinda liked it. It made my heart smile :) It's good to see something simple once-and-a-while."

"This is really nice! Keep up the good work!"

I want to see MOAR! Keep writing!

Derpy's heart felt warm with all the praise and she felt like she could cry at any moment. They liked it! They offered good criticism and they liked it!

But as she pulled out the next letter and read the first words she felt her heart sink.

What the buck is this? The first line read.

I don't even know where to begin. This is the worst story I have ever read submitted here before. This has no emotion, no feeling at ALL and no storyline. Where is the character development? Where is the good dialogue? I can't believe anyone would ever like this piece of shit. Honestly, it's not like I haven't read this a million times before!

As Derpy felt her heart tighten, she pulled out something else from the envelope. A picture of a sizable group of ponies all gathered around a another pony with a book. The pony had a smug look on his face, like he deserved every single ponies attention. Sharpie marker spelled out "My Fans" on the back.

Derpy stood in silence for a few moments, trying to keep her heart from spilling from her eyes. She felt the vice grip surround her heart, squeezing it tightly as she squeezed back, trying to control her emotions. However as the pressure built up inside her she felt a cough erupt from her throat. Not a dry cough, like she was was sick, but the wet teary cough you get when you just break down into tears very suddenly.

Why would he say that? Why would he say those things about her story?

As tears erupted from her eyes, her heart in pain as she sobbed, her grandfather came up to her.

"Derpy? Whats wrong?" He asked softly, worried as to why she was crying so much.

Derpy just ran, the bundle of letters in her mouth. Down to the basement she went, closing the door at the top of her stairs, down to her room she ran.

She fell onto her bed with a sob.

"Why would he say that?" She cried into her pillow.

Wait, people get bad reviews all the time. Sometimes people just wrote those to be mean. He must just be doing that.

She sniffled greatly sucking the snot that was dribbling down her face back into her head. There must be more good reviews right?

As she opened more letters she saw more of the same.

"Where is the character development?"

Why would you even write this?"

Derpy felt her tears coming again, and her snout began to run.

They didn't like it. They didn't like it anymore.

Derpy realized that that stallion was right. It had no character development. It didn't have good dialogue. It wasn't even worth their time.

But she didn't write it for the dialogue. She didn't write it for the character development. She wrote it because is meant something to her.

She wrote about how she would have loved to have someone come and care for her when her mother left and didn't come back. How she would have loved to have fun with a family and have brothers and sisters and other ponies to play with. How she would have loved to go to school and learn like everypony else. She wrote about how she would have liked to have everything she wanted to eat instead of going hungry for days.

She wrote because that was what she felt deep down in her heart and soul, and when people insulted her writing like that she felt as if they were insulting her, and who she was.

And she couldn't handle that.

Jumping off the bed she grabbed her other copy of the story she had written and tore it to pieces, spitting each one out all over the floor. She screamed angrily.

"I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED!"

Derpy collapsed on the bed again, sobs filling the air as her emotions spilled out around her. she sobbed the same phrase over and over again.

"I just want to be loved."

Derpy would go on to toss the rest of the letters out, not bothering to read them for fear of more harsh criticism, without even noticing that under that small pile of criticism, there sat a larger pile of praise.

Derpy returned to her job as a mail-delivery mare.

She would never write again.

===

Bear in mind that the ending of this story is a purposeful event, and I have no intention of changing it, because that is how things end in the real world sometimes. I'm not going to write a happy ending for you, because more than anything, you need to get back up on that horse and write a happy ending for yourself.

As always, I have faith in you.

<3