He would've had a meaningful relationship.
Flash Sentry woke up from the most wonderful dream. He and his Bro, Thunderlane, went on a road trip to bed every babelicious girl in the world and then some. They even went into space! Of course there was no air, and he wasn’t certain what was so special about ‘blue skinned space babes’, but he woke up just as he jumped out of the spaceship.
Flash was under the effect this writer calls ‘Single’s Euphoria’, a condition some feel after breaking up with somebody. While under this effect, one feels as though they were an A-list movie star! Other symptoms include declarations that “no one can bring me down from the singles lifestyle this time!” frequently followed by maniacal, and yet somehow sad laughter.
Flash did feel a twinge of easily dismissed guilt for dumping Twilight; she was a nice girl and a princess at that but, well, she was a horse! She would argue that she was ‘a pony’ as though that made any kind of difference what so ever. Flash knew pony is just a fancy word for horse. Flash was a big man. It didn’t bother him that she was a horse, but she was just so HORSE, and HORSE!... Okay, maybe it did bother him a little. But it wasn’t his fault she was a horse.
In his defense, Flash tried to make it work. He made it work with Sunset Shimmer. She was a horse. He didn’t know it at the time, but she was still a horse. He thought about a future with Twilight. He could deal with going back and forth between the mirror, might get his sleep schedule a little out of whack, but a stud like him could deal. But what about any potential children? Would they be happy traveling through a magic mirror every week? Would they be centaurs? Was it technically bestiality to love a pony even though she’s in human form at the time? Ultimately, he had to break it off. The thought of half pony half Flash kids climbing all over, and scaring people… Yeah.
Flash Sentry had gotten through his morning routine and set off for school. He passed his Plymouth Duster that was almost repaired enough to be drivable, and walked briskly to Canterlot High School.
On his way, he saw the first of many classmates he usually encountered on his walk to school. A grey girl with faded blonde hair whose name nobody knew. Some of the more jerkish teens called her Derpy on account of her wall-eyes. Some called her Ditzy because she seemed to be in her own world half the time. The fact still remained that no one except her little sister knew her real name.
Flash called out to her, “Hey, Bright Eyes!” It was the least mean nickname she had. Even the Rainbooms called her that!
Bright Eyes turned to look at him, but as soon a she saw who it was, she snapped her head to look the other way adding a cute little “Hmph!” to accent it.
This was odd to Flash. Bright Eyes was alway kind and cheerful even to the meanest of bullies. She started each day with a bright smile and a muffin in everyone’s locker. She was normally so cute, he just wanted to hug her all up.
Flash just shrugged. “I guess everybody has bad days once in a while,” he thought. What he didn’t notice was that other classmates were shooting him dirty looks as he passed by.
He arrived at Canterlot High School, still oblivious to the looks he was receiving. Well, Semi-Oblivious, He saw that the whole school was a glaring at him, He just thought it was something else, maybe another megalomaniacal girl wanting to take over the school for some reason. He just thought he’d let The Rainbooms do their Friendship thing, he wasn’t with Twilight anymore so he didn’t care.
Flash stopped by his locker to unload his books and other things when he heard a voice call out to him.
“Hey, uh, Flash,” a voice meekly called.
Flash turned to see Cloudkicker. She was a somewhat meek, but still babelicious blue/grey girl. Her hair had awesome blonde highlights, and she was athletic: part of Canterlot High’s Soccer Team.
“Sup, Kicker, need anything?” Flash asked obliviously, with a slight leer as he checked out her well developed arse.
“Um… We…Uh... Heard about you and Twilight…” Cloudkicker’s words were uncertain but well chosen.
“Hey, thanks for your concern, but I’ve moved on. Really!” Flash pondered the wisdom of hitting on Cloudkicker to prove he’d moved on. On one hand, she was hot. On the other, some small part of his incredibly dim mind was poking him and saying that it might not be appropriate.
“Right…” Cloudkicker began, trying not become angry at his likewise exaggerated leering. She was pretty sure he wasn’t a bad person, just… She wasn’t sure how to finish that thought., “Well, Umm, just steer clear of Rainbow Dash and her friends today, They’re still a bit sore at you.” She understated.
“Don’t worry, little miss, I’m not going to start anything.” Flash pulled out his trusty comb to comb his hair, in an effort to prove his trustworthiness.
“ Alright…” Cloudkicker walked away muttering, “It’s not you I’m worried about…” She supposed that some people refused to be helped.
Flash shrugged and headed towards his locker. There was an odd smell as he approached it. Was that… Limburger? He winced, Some people insisted on bringing such a pungent thing into school. He was all for other people’s diets but, There were other people to consider. He opened his locker, revealing that someone had taken some sort of stinky cheese and crammed it through the slots in the lockers. It was now coating the notebooks he had left inside.
“Aww jeez. Who mistook my locker for a trash can?” He shook his head. One of the classmates next to him in the hall snorted. Yeah, he could see how it was pretty funny how dumb some people are.
“Hey, Snips my man, could you go get the janitor? I’d clean it myself, but it would make me late to class.” Flash called out.
Snips glanced at Flash and started to open his mouth to say “yes”, but then Trixie materialized out of the crowd and punched him hard in the shoulder. With a frightened look, he shook his head, and tried to escape into the crowd.
“Oh, hey Trix. Sorry, didn’t mean to steal your minion” Flash said to the mysterious magician girl. He never quite knew what was going through her head. She were hot as hell though. That third person thing could be a turn on if he was in the right mood.
She gave him the strange look that he seemed to be garnering a lot lately. “If you were not such an imbecile, the Great and Powerful Trixie would feel sorry for you.”
“Hey, whoa there girl. Not a hundred percent in love with your tone there! I’ll have you know I’m a C+ average student! So I’m not an in any way an Idiot! Jeez. It’s like I’m in some bizarro alternate version of Canterlot high or something… Hey, you’re not all secretly horses, are you? No? Good, good.”
Trixie gawked at the blue haired teen. “Trixie called you an imbecile, and you must be one to not know what’s going on around here! “
Flash’s eye’s opened wide in realization. Trixie had the hots for him! Wait no, that probably wasn’t what she was talking about. They opened EVEN WIDER in a new realization!
“Oh, Trixie, I know this time of month can be hard” Flash said in all sincerity
Trixie’s eyes narrowed. “If this is going where Trixie thinks it’s going...”
“But remember, It’s all a natural part of being a young lady. Maybe after it blows over we can go over to SugarCube Corner and laugh about-”
Flash didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence and Trixie’s fist collided with Flash’s face, Launching him across the hall to his limburger filled locker.
“Cad, how dare you insinuate that about The Great and Powerful Trixie! Trixie WAS doing this for the honor of her most worthy rival,Twilight Sparkle…”
Among the rant some students wondered what Twilight had even done for Trixie to consider her a rival.
Trixie continued her rant, “…Now it’s personal. Beware, Flash Sentry, for you have made a Great and Powerful enemy today!”
Trixie threw down a smoke bomb and started laughing loudly… which quickly segued into coughing. When the smoke vanished, she was gone.
Flash had to admit, he was impressed. Impressed, but not scared. That girl was all smoke and mirrors. In fact If one were to look to their left, they could see Trixie fumbling with a fire escape..
Class has started and Flash was just now getting the feeling that people were mad at him for something. But he still couldn’t get why. As he sat at his desk, a circle of people around him fell silent, but this was quickly replaced by a collection of angry whispers.
He tried to pay attention to the teacher, but a wad of crumpled up paper hit him in the back of the head repeatedly and from many angles.
Class had ended and Flash could feel people following him through the halls. Literally in some cases, as there would be a stray paper wads being thrown at him.
Flash turned around and no one seemed to stand out. He turned back and the moment he did so, paper wads flew at him.
Flash turned again, “Okay, guys, This is totally not cool, What’s up with the paper wads?”
Flash wasn’t answered in the traditional sense. Instead he was met with piercing glares from his fellow students. If Flash was more observant, he would have noticed that quite a few students wearing pins that had that design that Twilight had on her skirt. Twilight told him what that star meant once. It was called a “Cutsie Mark” or something like that. Apparently it was a magical brand that horse people got.
Flash snapped out of his thoughts as the entire student body turned towards him with a supernatural gleam coming from their eyes. He paused for a moment and turned around quickly, then calmly but quickly walked through the halls.
Flash quickly ducked inside the music room. It was pretty abandoned this time of day, or so he thought. He was proven wrong when he heard three voices sing in harmony. Well The song wasn’t all that long.
The song was seven syllables, “Shoo be doo, shoo, shoo be doo”. Other lyrics followed in less than perfect harmony, to be charitable. Flash had heard more harmonious singing from herds of cats. Cats herded right? It broke down after a second or so.
“Ugh. We were so close too…” a small high pitched voice said. The dull thunk of a foot connecting with a wall resounded.
“Don’t fool yourself, Sonata! We sang, we sucked, end of story!” A gruffer angrier voice said. Now was heard the harsh crack of a fist impacting with a wall.
“It’s that kind of attitude that makes it harder for us to sing!” The first voice cried all aquiver
“You are seriously the worst!” The voice had an undertone to it that made it sound as though the speaker was in the process of tearing something to little shreds.
“Nuh-uh! you can’t even insult me right!” The first voice riposted childishly.
“Will You two just shut up for once in your pathetically long lives?” A third voice echoed, hollow and exhausted..
Flash looked across the room and saw... The Dazzlings, three admittedly hot sisters, or sirens or somethings… it started with an “s” anyway... that enslaved the entire school... Again. Maybe there was something wrong with this school. Getting enslaved with evil mind magics couldn’t be that common, could it? Well, it would explain a lot of things if it was. However Twilight and her not horse friends defeated them with horse magic and no one had seen hide, hair, or mane of any them since. Well until just now.
Flash froze in place for a minute, he took full inventory of his situation at this moment. Outside, there were some crazed students bent on making his day the worst day. Inside, Hot girls that could still mind control him. Or could they? Horse magic is weird. They had boobs. That was close enough to mind control powers, especially when the ones in question were so nice. But they were also horses. Damnit. He was starting to think his thing for former horses was weird.
Flash decided that as long as the Dazzlings didn’t see him, this was a safe place. He slowly and deliberately walked to a spare chair. A funny thing about trying to move quietly; it normally had the opposite effect.
Flash slammed into a stationary desk, knocking it into another desk, and causing a chain reaction of rube-golberg conniptions. “Oh… shuuuugar snap peas.” Flash swore softly to himself as a lamp fell from the ceiling into the floor with a muted crash to punctuate the destruction.
Unheard over the cacophony of destruction a voice rejoiced “That is what you get when you upset the Great and Powerful… Gah!” Unheeded a light blue girl was dragged away by one of the many wires connected to her orchestra of catastrophe that had become wrapped around her leg.
Of course, there was no way that the dazzlings had failed to notice such an impressively loud event. All three of them turned to see where the noise had started, and they all locked eyes with Flash.
“Well, Well, If it isn’t the most hated student in all of Canterlot High.” Adagio enounced carefully, hands on her hips in a provocative gesture. She was flanked by her two subordinates. All three were posing in a fashion that was clearly rehearsed.
“Hey! Everybody here loves me! Especially the ladies” Flash said in the the smoothest voice he could muster.
“In your dreams, Creep.” Aria stated with a knife’s edge to her voice.
“Actually my name is Flash Sentry. A lot of people have been making that mistake today. Is there a new exchange student that looks like me, or something? Is he a Horse? I feel like I need to make peace with horses.”
Aria stood there blinking for a beat. She then turned to Sonata and said, “Congratulations , Sonata, you’re no longer the worst,”
“Hooray!” Sonata Cheered and she bounced slightly.
“I guess we should thank you.” Adagio cooed sensually, running a finger across one of the legs of the wrecked desks “After the Battle of the Bands, we were shunned by this school, We were forced to hide away, with our beautiful voices barely able to hold a note.”
“Do you realize how hard it is to live here without mind control? It’s the worst!” Aria said with a toss of her hair, while looking away from Flash Sentry.
“Do you know what a thesaurus is?” Flash quipped “You, uh, might want to ask Rarity for hers.”
“We were forced out of our home, and forced to live in this room, and we dared not go out to face the student masses.” Adagio explained.
“But since you broke up with Afterglow Twinkle, no one even cares about us anymore!” Sonata chirped, with wide eyed innocence
“Twilight Sparkle,” Aria corrected, with a slight frown
“What?” Sonata asked, turning towards Aria
“He broke up with Twilight Sparkle.” Aria’s voice was flat, and expression neutral. She could see what was coming next.
“He did?! That Meanie!” Sonata slammed a fist into her palm!
Aria grunted harshly, her expectations confirmed “ You’re back to being the worst. Again. Good Job.”
“Aww…Good job? Yay?” Sonita queried.
“Do I need to teach you about sarcasm again?” Aria demanded, turning her back on Sonita
“Alright. Cut it out, you two. Seriously.” Adagio said, her palm having traveled of it’s own accord to cover her face in the middle of the other two girl’s conversation. Her long suffering glance at Flash Sentry spoke volumes of what she had to put up with. Entire volumes that whizzed right past Flash’s left ear like he wasn’t even literate.
“Wait, People are mad at me because I broke up with Twilight?” Flash asked quizzically, eyebrows comically merging with his hairline in surprise.
“Well of course. Why wouldn’t they be. Twilight Sparkle is a literal princess and has saved the school. Twice.” Adagio announced, placing her hands on her hips and strategically thrusting them to the side to emphasise her point..
“Well, She’s also a horse..” Flash said lamely, making a horse-like gesture with his hands.
“And you’re talking to three Hippocampi. don’t push it!” Aria shouted, shaking her fist in Flash’s direction
“You guys are Hippos? You all are awfully thin for that. Explains a lot though, I heard that hippos eat people.”
“Are we hippos?” Sonata asked, pressing her pointer fingers together nervously.
“No! We’re not!” Aria shouted at Sonata, the force of her shout knocking the other girl over.
“Oh. That’s good. Hippos are scary.” Sonata said, sprawled across a fallen chair. “I don’t want to be scary.”
“I have a secret for you, Sonata” Aria bent over with clenched fists to speak into Sonata’s ear. “WE ARE SCARY, MORON!” The entire school shook slightly, and Aria fell to her knees, coughing and gasping. Holding her throat in pain from her own shout.
Adagio leaned forward and looked Flash in the eye, “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t toss you out into the hallway right now.”
“Did you say something? I can’t hear anything!” Sonata mewled in the background, ears bleeding slightly, still draped over the chair that she had fallen on earlier.
“You understand me on an emotional level?” Flash proclaimed with a false confidence that was belied by the quiver on his voice at the end.
“Cute…”Adagio muttered. “But utterly incorrect.”
And with that, he was tossed out of the music room, Where Trixie was waiting with an evil smirk, slightly ruined by being suspended upside down, by one leg, from the ceiling.
“Well, Well, Well, If it isn’t Flash Sentry, right here in front of the music room. ” Trixie yelled louder than usual, causing the students of Canterlot High, to look towards the two.
“It’s Flash! And that blue chick!” Vinyl Scratch shouted.
“I think they’re friends or something.” Maud followed up, just loud enough to be heard.
“GET THEM!” Lyria screamed, pointing dramatically
The entire school began to charge, causing Lyria’s skirt to flutter in the wind of their passing.
“Wait, wait wait! The Great and Powerful Trixie is not affiliated with! AIEEEEE!” Trixie screamed before being overwhelmed by the crowd.
Flash, sensibly, had already taken off running.
Shortly thereafter Maud approached the beaten and bruised Trixie. She reached into Trixie’s pocket and pulled out a stone. “See what happens when you trust a mean girl, Dwyane?” she told The Rock “You poor thing. She even polished you.”
She put the stone in her pocket and walked away from the groaning Trixie.
“Rocknapper” She murmured as her parting shot.
“I Plum don’t get it, Sunset, why are you eating here with us, and not beating the tar outta Flash?” Applejack questioned as the Six girls sat around for lunch.
“Flash is an idiot, he’s not worth my time,” Sunset explained as she bit into her sandwich, “Thanks for not confronting him, guys”
Fluttershy nodded quietly into her salad.
“You hardly have to thank us, dear.” Rarity said, “The rest of the school is doing it’s best to punish him as it is.”
At those words, Flash ran past their table followed by an angry mob.
“Ha! That loser already has a mob after him”, Rainbow Dash laughed and then she leaned over to Applejack, “ I told you he wouldn’t last a day, pay up”
“I don’t remember making that bet with ya,” the Apple farmer responded “In fact, I seem to recall agreeing with you at the time, that he wouldn’t last a day”
“It’s STILL a bet” Rainbow Dash announced “Duhhhh. Back me up here Pinkie!”
Pinky counted on her fingers a couple of times and shook her head “I’m sorry, Dashie, but the math doesn’t add up. I’m afraid Applejack is right.”
“What math, Pinkie?” Dash asked, looking confused.
“The Friendship Equations!” Pinkie said enthusiastically. “But the math does say I have a cupcake for everyone, except Flash.”
“By everyone do you mean everyone here, everyone in the school, or everyone everyone darling?” Rarity asked gently, touching Pinkie’s shoulder.
“Yes!” Pinkie responded waving her arms in the air like she just did not care.
“Oh dear…” Rarity murmured, bringing a handkerchief elegantly to cover her mouth as Pinkie began pulling cupcakes out of her backpack. She gave the first to Fluttershy.
Sunset Shimmer started laughing so hard she sprayed milk out of her nose. “I love you guys, I really do” she said cheerfully. “You’re great”
“Why thank you.” Fluttershy murmured happily.
“You… you love us?” Pinkie said, a shocked look on her face “But what would Twilight think? Unless… Should we all date Twilight simultaneously? I know some people would like to see that.”
“She doesn’t mean it like that Pinkie” Applejack said, batting at the hyperactive pink girl and promptly ignoring the last statement. “Right? You don’t?”
Sunset nodded “I don’t mean love love, guys. Jeeze.”
“But you love love Twilight, right darling?” Rarity asked, putting a hand on Sunset’s now.
Sunset blushed heavily “It’s… too soon to tell. Really.” She said, batting away Rarity’s hand.
Rainbow Dash began giggling in an undignified fashion “Sunset an’ Twilight sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G…”
“THEY WERE KISSING?!” Pinkie demanded, lunging across the table to grab Sunset’s lapels “Tell me everything! Was there tongue? Did you use one of my super special kissing mints? Did I give you one?”
“She did kiss me on the cheek…” Sunset drifted off. “Why am I telling you this? This is personal.” The normally orange girl was now the color of a cherry tomato.
Before anyone could answer her, Flash Sentry ran past their table again, and once again he was followed by an angry mob.
“Um… Should we help him?” Fluttershy asked looking at the chaos going on just beyond them.
Rainbow Scoffed, “Why should we?”
“Well, he may have been rude to Twilight, he’s still a person” Fluttershy pronounced carefully.
“Barely” Rainbow Dash muttered.
Sunset sighed, and started to pack up what was left of her lunch, “Fluttershy’s right, of course, let’s go find him”
“Aww…” Pinkie started,pulling more cupcakes out of her bag. “Can’t we at least finish lunch?”
Sunset sat right back down, “Pinkie has a point!”
The dumpster was a less dignified place to hide and Flash knew that, but the fact that nobody had found him in the last ten minutes were results he could not argue with. He kept tabs on the students by occasionally peeking through the top of the dumpster.
He took this moment to muse as to how quick the Canterlot High student body was to mob around the newest thing. When Twilight first came and ran for Fall Formal Princess, all she really had to was dance cutely. Well cute for a horse. Since horses generally couldn’t dance, this didn’t take a lot. On that note Flash finally realized that his thing with horses was not normal.
Flash sneezed, as if even the gods of running anime gags themselves had betrayed him. He checked the top of the dumpster and saw hundreds of glaring eyes staring back at him. He took this moment to duck back down and scramble out the other side of the dumpster.
He crawled a short distance away from dumpster. When he heard someone lifting the lid, he levered himself into a track starting position and took of like a shot, dashing as fast as he could away from the danger zone. He ran across the athletics area of the school like there was an army of demons nipping on his heels, looking desperately for another place to hide. Which was a surprisingly apt metaphor.
He had found a storage shed at the edge of the athletics field. The window had been left open a crack. He dove through it like a champion track and hurdle runner, slammed it shut behind him, and rushed to the door to make sure it was locked. Then he barred it with a handy rake, just to be safe.
It was a simple plan, Just hide out here for the rest of the school day and possibly set up an appointment with Ms. Cadenza to work through his horse issues.
Someone knocked on the storage door, causing Flash to jump.
“Go away, Trixie!” Flash yelled with all the maturity of a two year old while hiding behind a high jump cushion.
“Don’t worry it’s not Trixie,” The voice on the other side said, causing Flash to relax, “It’s Sunset”
Flash went straight back to hiding, “Oh no! It’s the revenge of the horse ladies! Tell Lyra I refuse to wear a saddle and bit!”
In the warm afternoon air, Sunset and her friends stood outside of the storage unit. Sunset cocked an eyebrow.
“Did... he really just say that?” Sunset asked.
“Dude’s got some issues” Rainbow concluded.
“Now now, we should all be kind to other people, no matter how strange they are” Fluttershy said warmly.
Sunset turned back to the Door, “Come on, Flash, We’re not going to hurt you”
“Much” Rainbow said.
“Not helping, sugar,” AJ warned.
Flash’s voice echoed out of the unit, “I’m fine in here, really, it’s quite cozy! The spiders are very friendly, I swear!”
“Oh! He has company. That’s nice.” Fluttershy murmured happily.
“Come on, Flash, I think you’ve been through enough, we can help you get away from the School,” Sunset offered.
“No! The horses will get me! Either them or the Hippos, animals hate me now!” Flash’s voice echoed
“I’m sure they’ll be fine with you once they get to know you…” Fluttershy said.
“Did he call us hippos?” Rarity demanded in a huff.
“Flashy? If you open, I’ll give you a cupcake. I’ve got one spare.” Pinkie pie said, knocking on the door.
Flash was conflicted. On one hand these women were probably out for blood. On the other hand, one of Pinkie Pie’s cupcakes was not to be missed…. Nope, He had to stay the course, trust no one, not even the cupcakes.
Sunset and her Friends stood outside, defeated, Until they heard a Noble sounding laugh. Smoke rose up as the laughter devolved into coughing. Trixie stood there hunched over from her coughing fit and then promptly straightened herself. She had tried to cover it with makeup, but she still had a few noticeable bruises.
“ It seems to Trixie that you need help,”
“Hey! You stole Dwayne!” Pinkie shouted, “Do you know how upset Maud was about that!”
Trixie was taken aback at this and then regained her composure, “ Um , Yes, Well, The Great and Dutiful Trixie leaves no debt unpaid, as such, She will help you.”
“Anybody know what she’s talking about?” Applejack asked, to which her friends shrugged as
“Watch closely as the great and powerful Trixie demonstrates how to pick a lock! Well, not so much pick as stick a long metal stick in, then hit with a hammer until the lock falls out of the door!” Trixie proceeded to do as described, tapping the chisel with a hammer that possessed her cutie mark until the lock fell out of the door. “Haha! See!”
When the door failed to open, Trixie scowled, and began to kick it repeatedly until the rake barring it shattered with a loud crack. “Haha! See!” she repeated in exactly the same tone of voice.
“Um, Thanks, Trixie…” Sunset said.
“None are necessary, for after this day, Trixie officially announces her Rivalry with Sunset Shimmer!” Trixie yelled as she threw a smoke bomb onto the ground and disappearing… Or at least she would have looked like she was disappearing, had one not looked to their right and seen the young girl trying to scale a fence.
“... This is the sort of thing Twilight has to put up with?” Sunset asked as she ducked through the now open door “Because I don’t understand how she hasn’t yet gone mad.”
“Shucks it’s not usually this bad” Applejack said.
“Yeah, it’s usually way worse” Rainbow Dash responded. “Remember the time the queen of the school turned into a demon?”
“Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy scolded “That wasn’t very nice.”
“Nor” Rarity proclaimed “Was it elegant.”
“True though” Rainbow Dash grumbled.
“You guys really test my love at times, You know that?” Sunset drawled, with her eyelids half closed.
They all entered the storage unit and looked around. Flash Sentry was not in sight. Sunset slouched in annoyance.
“Flash, come out, please. We want to help you!” Sunset called out into the storage unit.
An uneasy groan came from behind a basket filled with various pieces of equipment.
“What was that?” Pinkie demanded, uneasily. “This place is creepy… Maybe I should sing my laughing song?”
“Wow…” Fluttershy murmured happily “He wasn’t joking about the spiders being friendly. I think I see a tiny teaset.”
“I have a sudden urge to knit a tiny beret for that one.” Rarity noted.
There was a shifting from the basket, as a figure bolted out from behind he tried to bolt out the door, but was tripped by Rainbow Dash.
“Oops, Sorry, not sorry.” Rainbow Dash snarked.
“While I don’t approve, that was effective.” Fluttershy noted
Sunset walked up to Flash, “Are you done with this nonsense?”
“Please don’t hurt me! I love horses, they’re the essence of beauty! But totally not in that way! please don’t hurt me!” Flash pleaded, hand cupped in one another in a prayer position. He looked pretty pathetic.
“Gosh. I’m actually starting to feel the tiniest bit sorry for him.” Rainbow Dash revealed, sounding bothered.
“I’m not going to hurt you Flash, I promise.” Sunset shimmer said.
“Last time you said that, you hit me. Repeatedly.” Flash responded, trying to back away.
Applejack gave Sunset a judicious look.
“What? That was before the demon queen incident. I was a bit of a bitch back then alright? Anyway he deserved it! He had forgotten our anniversary! I mean, I really didn’t care , but what kind of trophy boyfriend does that! “
“You worry me sometimes, Sugar,” Applejack stated.
Sunset sighed, “I’m really not going to hurt you, Flash. I just want to help you escape the school with relatively little injury. Fluttershy, could you back me up?”
“But Mrs Nightspinner wants to show me the pictures of all 80 of her children.” Fluttershy responded from her little tea party with the spiders.
“Fine. RD, you’re up.” Sunset said.
“You’re lucky Sunset is as forgiving as she is now! Or else she would go She- Demon on you!” Rainbow dash stated, hands on hips and aggressive sneer on her face.
“You worry me too sometimes, hon” Applejack said to Rainbow Dash.
“Rainbow! Not! Helping!” Sunset shouted’
Flash cringed, “So scary!”
Sunset sighed, yet again, and put a hand to her forehead, trying to quell the headache that was beginning to form.
“We’re getting nowhere, Flash is too traumatized to be rational,” Sunset scanned the room.
In one corner several spiders were pouring thimble sized cups of tea for Fluttershy and Rarity. Sunset tried not to think too hard about that. Rarity looked fairly uncomfortable about it. In another Pinkie Pie was cheerfully finger painting laughing faces on the volleyballs. This was also less than helpful. She then spied some empty sacks.
“Okay let’s stuff him in a sack, and throw him outside the school.”
“Sounds good to me.” Rainbow Dash said enthusiastically.
“Can I finger paint his face to disguise hm first?” Pinkie asked.
“Sure, whatever.” Sunset said tiredly “Let’s just get this over with.”
“Now hold on there a moment, sugar, don’t you think that might hurt him?” Applejack demanded.
“So we’ll be carefull. I’m not really seeing any other solutions that can be enacted in a reasonable period of time here. Got any better suggestions Applejack?” Sunset’s voice had a sharp edge to it, like a woman at the edge of her rope.
“Huh. Nope.” Applejack said with a blink.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Everypony ready?” Sunset demanded, turning to look at everyone in turn.
“Heh, ‘Everypony’” Rainbow Dash snorted, putting a hand over her mouth.
“Don’t start with me! Rainbow!” Sunset Shimmer spun on a toe to glare daggers at Rainbow Dash.
“Yup!” “I guess so!” “Uh huh.” “Absolutely! Just get me away from these spiders, dear!” “But mrs Nightspinner…” the girls chorused.
They took Flash and stuffed him in the sack. They walked and Carried the sack to the font of the school. Sunset unceremoniously dumped Flash on the front of the school and loosened the knot.
“By the way, Flash,” Sunset said to the sack, “We’re ponies, not horses, you heathen”
Sunset walked away, leaving Flash to dread the next day.
To be concluded...
Author's Note
So this was a relief to finish, and it was really fun to write. I really want to experiment with more characters.
Writing Flash: I based a lot of his personality off of Danny Sexbang of Ninja Sex Party and thus I chose today to release this chater as today is the day Attitude City came out and I urge you to buy it.
Lieutenant Sentry's Really Bad Day
Lieutenant Sentry's Really Bad Day
First Lieutenant Flash Sentry counted himself as one of luckiest ponies alive. He had a post in one of the friendliest towns in Equestria, he found a marefriend, an earth pony named Silky Shores, living near to his post. If he played his cards right, He would be the first Captain of the Twilight guard…. Or would it be the Friendship guard? He mentally planned out the accoutrements for the captain’s position assuming each name, just in case.
Either way, he was amazed at his advancement within the guard. Princess Twilight was the best boss ever. He saw the way she looked at him, and while she was pretty, he didn't see her in that way. Honestly, Twilight Sparkle didn’t even fit in the same mental box as ‘romance’ for him. After all, a relationship between a guard and his princess should always remain professional. Captain Shining would have made him run laps for even implying that he was mistaken in taking Princess Cadance for a wife, but that was how he felt.
It was easy being a guard pony for the newest princess though. She wasn’t exactly the top of any political hit list. Her castle only built itself a couple of months ago. So there was a bit of a process looking for jobs for the guards. Flash Sentry had taken to using his additional free time to court his marefriend.
Currently, Flash was guarding a mirror that sat in Twilight’s personal study. He wasn’t told specifics as to why the mirror was special, only that it was a portal. It really wasn’t his place to question, so he just stood there guarding a mirror. A pony of greater mental capacity than Flash would wonder about the mirror. A pony of lesser mental capacity would get distracted. Flash simply munched steadily on his lunch and guarded.
The Mirror came to life as the Lavender Princess swooned into the castle.
“Oh, hello, Princess. Back so soon?” Flash greeted happily bowing to his princess in precisely the level of deference his training had recommended. He wasn’t sure if it was the right amount, but so far at least Twilight had not complained
Twilight stood straight up, blinked three times to clear the stars from her eyes, then glared at Flash Sentry in a way that could make Tartarus freeze over. Flash Sentry was reminded of the stories of what Twilight did to those who were late with their library books. This was the first sign that things weren’t going to go well for the guards pony.
“There was a change in plans, Lieutenant,” Twilight replied in a tone that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. This was the second sign that Flash Sentry was up horseapple grove without a bucket. He wondered if he had not made the bow deferent enough.
“I want you to meet me in my throne room in five minutes, Lieutenant.” The princess commanded, cooly. For some reason the phrase “Stuffed and mounted” flashed across Sentry’s mind.
Meeting Princess Twilight in her throne room could mean anything, but with the alicorn’s demeanor, Flash was pretty sure he was no longer in the running for the Twilight Guard.
Five minutes passed and Flash walked up to Princess Twilight’s crystal throne, which of course completed a circle of 5 other crystal thrones, one for each of The princess’s friends. He bowed deeper, hoping to cover his mistake earlier. The cool gaze he was met with told him that this was about more than just etiquette.
“Lieutenant, what is the job of the Royal Guard?” Twilight asked with all of the refinement of a steel spear.
“T-To protect and serve the princesses, ma’am” Flash nervously proclaimed as he stood at attention.
“And do you think you meet all of the qualities needed to meet that job description?” Twilight tilted her head to the side with a wicked little smile.
“Well, Uh,-” Flash was at a loss, never had he heard a more loaded question
“On the first day of my vacation, I learned something, That how somepony acts is not enough to judge their character,” Twilight looked Flash dead in the eye, her half lidded stare pinning him to the floor. “You are to be put on leave, without pay!”
Flashes eyes went wide, “W-What! Princess, I-”
“Be glad that I’m just putting you on leave, I could have fired you.” Twilight countered, stomping a hoof.
“Yes, Princess,” Flash said dejectedly, tail and ears drooping
Twilight produced an envelope and gave it to Flash, “You are also to go to the Crystal Empire and give this to Captain Shining Armor, and he will give you further orders.”
“But… I’m Suspended-” Flash corrected dumbly, eyes crossing in consternation.
“From my gaurd, Flash, You still answer to the Crystal guard. In fact, you have an hour before the last train leaves, and you don’t want to know what happens to you if you're late.” Twilight gave him another dark glare, and for a second, Flash could have sworn that Princess Twilight’s eyes became devoid of any irises.
Flash dashed home to pack: the train would be departing in about 45 minutes. Being within a society that doesn’t wear clothes, ponies were wonderfully light packers. Flash hoped that he would be finished packing before-
“Flashy! I’m Home~” the melodic voice sung across the apartment.
-Silky Shores came home.
The milky blue earth mare walked into Flash’s room and hugged the nervous colt. Her flaxen mane was tied into a hairband from work.
“How was your day?” Silky asked into her coltfriend’s ear. Said coltfriend tensed up. This did not escape Silky Shores.
“Flashy, what’s wrong?” Silky’s voice turned into a mixture of caution and concern
“I got suspended,” Flash said, pawing the ground uncomfortably.
“ Oh, how horrible! Why would the princess do that?” Silky’s asked sharply
“ I don’t know, but I must have done something wrong, she was so angry!” Flash was flailing both mentally and physically at this point.
“Well, At least we still have our date tonight” Silky purred, leaning warmly against her boyfriend as her whole body vibrated with her deep, purring, hum.
Flash froze in place, like a dork caught in headlights, “Uuuuuhhhhh”
“You did remember that we were going to the Canterlot Orchestra Concert tonight.” Silky’s voice became coarse.
“I have a train to the Crystal Empire…. Princess Twilight sent me there to report to Captain Armor,” Flash confessed, abashedly. He couldn’t look Silky in the eye. He stared blankly just over Silky’s shoulder.
“And you couldn’t tell the princess that you had a date?” Silky stomped a hoof frustratedly.
“I...I…” Once more, Flash imitated the flighty Venitian deer. He wanted badly to flee.
“ Flash Sentry, did I even cross your mind when the princess was suspending you?” Silky’s voice could have cut glass, and she was now giving Flash a glare even more evil and poisonous than Twilight’s own.
“I… I…” Flash backed up carefully, one step at a time as his marefriend advanced, her face inches from his.
“ The Princess was right! You need to learn how to treat a Lady!” With each step she slammed her hoof in the ground. “I’m going to the Concert without you,” She finished her rant by headbutting Flash hard in the shoulder,“maybe I’ll find a real stallion!”
With that Silky Shores left, Flash stood there perplexed at what happened. Today was some otherworldly punishment for something he’s not so sure he did. What ever was happening, he got on the train and headed to the Crystal Empire.
Flash was on loan from the Solar Guard when the Crystal Empire was rediscovered. He remembered the first few days on duty here. The constant threat of Sombra looming was unnerving, as if the mad king was always watching from within the castle.
Now, he felt the same way. The Crystal ponies in the castle looked ready to run him through. The castle was eerily empty, either his fear-addled mind didn’t want to register the warm, inviting decorations that adorned the crystal walls, or somepony was cleaning them.
The nervous colt plodded into the throne room as though he was attending his own funeral. His captain nonchalantly waltzed into position.
“Well, I didn’t expect for Twily to send you back here, Lieutenant.” Shining Armor mused in his usual gentle fashion.
“Captain, Princess Twilight wanted me to give this to you” Flash said, dispensing with the pleasantries.
The Lieutenant gave the Captain Twilight’s letter, with all the grace of a frightened trainee giving a bomb technician a piece of unexploded ordnance. Shining gave the letter a read over. He frowned and read it more carefully, glancing back up at the increasingly terrified Flash Sentry at several points. He sighed loudly.
“Well, There’s some good news, this isn’t your fault .” Shining shook his head, still frowning.
“Then why am I being punished?” Flash pleaded. “I’m a good soldier, right? All I wanted to do was serve the princess!”
“Well, that’s classified “ Shining said averting his eyes from his subordinate. He pawed at the ground uncertainly, as though expecting Flash to ask what the bad news was. When Flash failed to, Shining coughed gently “There is bad news.”
“With all due respect, Captain,this whole day has been bad news,” Flash muttered, quietly enough that Shining wasn’t certain if Flash had actually said it, or if he was picking up a little of his wife’s telepathy.
Shining chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head “Well, She’s given me official Princess orders to punish you to the full extent of my post…”
Flash did not like the sound of that. He liked it even less when he heard what the punishment was to be. He was to polish every single inch of the Crystal Castle, including the Crystal Heart, with a toothbrush. It would have been a tedious job even for a unicorn, but for a race that didn’t have have horns it was downright brutal.
In summation: Flash Sentry was out several weeks pay, had lost his girlfriend, and now was being forced to polish a castle made entirely out of crystal in, what Shining helpfully pointed out was ‘only’ the ‘second’ least effective way possible. Flash was unwilling to ask what the least effective was. He had gone from the luckiest pony in the world to a creature with little more value than an explosive penguin. The only advantage was that he learned a great deal of new and creative invective while cleaning the bathrooms. Indicative that he had frequent opportunity to employ. He cursed what ever farcical force had gotten him into this mess
Many miles away, across an interdimensional barrier, Flash Sentry, lead guitarist from Flash Drive, sneezed. He was hiding in a dumpster from legions of angry students.. Flash was certain that all the heads of students searching the parking lot had just swiveled to face the dumpster that had just emitted a loud bang. He broke out in a cold hard sweat..
To be Continued...
Author's Note
So to Reiterate, I don't have anything against Flash sentry this was just a funny idea I decided to write. With that said, I had a lot of fun writing this.
Pre-read/edited by: Sonorus and Blind Gardener
