The name's Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings, Something Extrodinare

I look around, very confused. Wait, is that? It is! Bon stole my journal! My personal journal! And, uh-oh. Vinyl & Octavia + My journal = Trouble! Real math. I put on my poker face as Bon Bon says I have to sit down. Angry glares from Vinyl, small whimpers of embrassment from Octavia, and fake kindness from Bon is all I'm fully aware of. Vinyl clears her throat.

"You've been stalking us for a year, writing everything you see in that journal. Any thoughts?" Vinyl asked it like a question, but it was just a command.

"First, not stalking, second, eleven months, one week, and five days, third, you don't know how I feel. Bon's always cramping my style, Bon says I'm paranoid, and you passed." I said. Everybody looked at me weird.

"What do you mean?" Tavi asked. Bon laughed. I bust out laughing.

"Bon, will you? I'm laughing too hard." I say in between laughs.

"Okay. Lyra is taking psychology and drawing conclusions, and she decided to use you two as lab rats. I hang around, and Lyra didn't know you two were dating. I told her, and she knew what to do. She's very clever. She even came up with your ship name! Anyway, we were slowly making you paranoid, wherever you went. As in, you felt our presence, therefor, making you a tad bit insane. How did you sleep anyway?" Bon explained.

"Ummm...." Tavi began. "Not that well. We had a feeling someone was watching us."

"So you were going 90's Nick insane?" I said. Believe me. That stuff's insane.

"That's too crazy. Like, first five minutes of Rin and Stimpy." Vinyl said. Pffft. Only the episode when Rin considers killing Stimpy.

"So.... We were lab rats?" Tavi asked.

"Ooh Octavia. Sweet, sweet Octavia. Yes! Indeed you were." I make a face like I know everything.

"What about that notebook?" Vinyl looked at me.

"That thing? Ooh. Well, that's undecided. But......... I think you can have it. After all, I need it for my final grade in Drawing Conclusions. I also have a notebook on how your insanity progressed. Pfft. Tavi, I thought you would've dismissed it. Oh! Now I can be Real Lyra! Wahoo!" I run around, kick off my shoes, my socks, get a giant cup of cocoa, drink it, take off my clothes and run into my bed.

"The name's Lyra. Lyra Heatstrings. Sleeping Extrodinare!" I yell, right before I drift to sleep.