The name's Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings, Something Extrodinare

by Rarity Is Mah Favorite

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Human, Comedy
Length: 1312

Lyra is spying on Vinyl and Tavi for her classes. Her targets are unaware. If they find out, well. Meh as Lyra says it.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-06 12:09:41 UTC

The Name's Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings. Detective Extordinare

Hello! I'm Lyra Heartstrings, but I prefer Lyra. I love living with Bon Bon, yet, she cramps my style. Okay, okay. I'm very confused. Vinyl and Tavi have spent a lot of time toghether. As in hours and end with each other. Bon says "You're paranoid, now go back to sleep." I usually ponder my existence for two minutes before I sleep.

"Lyra! Stop pondering your existance! It's Twelve in the morning!" Bon screams. See? Cramping my style. I go to bed.

I'm up, bright and early. I get dressed, eat something, and grab my notebook labeled Lyra's Studies on Ponies And Detective Stuff.

"Lyra?" Bon asks. I turn around to see her, perfectly ready for the day.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Well, I'm not helping you spy on those perfectly normal pair of girls." Bon turns away, but I give her a 'But this is for my class on problem solving' look. She still looks away. I run in front of her.

"Fine. Just don't go insane. Let's go."

Drop it! I wanna see you shake it! I crank my ear. Yes! Perfect song!

"Miss Heartstrings?" I turn to see some substitute teach named something realted to pants.

"Yes?" I shake my head while I lean towards the man.

"I was asking if anyone has been to the Crystal Empire?" He death-stared me for no reason.

"Uhhhhh....... Yeah, totally. Right Bon?" I look at Bon Bon. She's covering her face with her hands. Tavi's hand shoots up.

"Mr. Fancy Pants, she clearly wasn't paying any attention. You never said anything about that place during our lesson in the Solar System."

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW OCTAVIA MELODY? YOU JUST SIT IN AN ORCHESTRA PLAYING A BASS-CELLO LIKE THING! ALL YOU DO IS COMPLAIN ABOUT THINGS AND STRESS ABOUT ONE THING THAT'S A MILLIMETER AWAY FROM WHERE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE! AT LEAST I DON'T NEED TO STAY UP UNTIL 2:00 AM TRYING TO PLAY ONE NOTE RIGHT! I HAVE BETTER THINGS THAN THAT!" I yell. Octavia burst into tears and runs to somewhere. And of course, Vinyl follows. I now notice Bon's face is completely red, and not hidden well by her hands.

"Miss Heartstrings, I would like you to stay after school." Fancy Pants hands me a mint green slip. I mumble jerk.

"I also expect you, along with Miss Bon to apologize." He turns, and this is perfect. I grab my notebook and pencil. I grab Bon.

"Let me guess. You can spy on the two perfectly normal girls?" Bon says, rather than guesses.

"Yep. Follow the crying and wubs!" I yell. The crying leads us to the Girl's Bathroom. I motion for Bon to follow me to the stall next to the one where Vinyl and Octavia are.

"C'mon Tavi! Cheer up! The orchestra needs you!" I look under the stall. Vinyl's talking to Octavia.

"She called me boring, a neat freak, and a perfectionist!" Octavia says between sobs.

"Aww..... Don't cry Tavi." Much to my surprise, Vinyl kissed Octavia. As in lipstouching. It's amazing Bon is completely oblivious to this. I motion for Bon to follow.

We walk out of the bathroom, and come right back in. Bon says something.

"Octavia? Vinyl? Where are you?" Bon asks.

"Yeah, we really need to find you. Oh well, I guess they aren't here." I add a dramatic sigh. The stall the Octav3, Octavia and Vinyl's ship name, opens. Clever, right?

"We're here. Do you want to say something?" Vinyl's acting like some club bouncer, who's protecting Club Octavia.

"Yeah, sorry. Well, we're out! Better follow!"

I run as fast as I can out of the bathroom, past the library, and back to the classroom, not a moment too soon. School is finally over!

Ooh..... Lyra? (Bon Bon's pov)

I fling to door open, and walk inside, followed by Octavia and Vinyl Scratch. I look inside Lyra's notebook, inside, there is a bunch of entries.

April 12, 2015, Today, Octav3 went to Ruby Tuesdays. Holding hands. Sign of relationship. I flip all the way to today.

May 5, 2015, Today, I made Octavia cry. Of course, Vinyl followed. Okay, okay. Bon & I followed. I saw the unbelievable! Vinyl kissed Tavi. On the lips. No lie. Bon didn't even see any of it! I'll show her I'm not an over-imaginative 17-year old girl. Octav3. Is real. I'm not paranoid! I'm Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings. Detective Extrodinare. I close her book.

"Um... I invited you over here for a reason. Read this last entry on page 98. This will explain a lot." I hand Octavia the mint green book. Octavia, along with Vinyl gasp.

"Lemme get this straight. Lyra's been watching us for about one year? She was in the bathroom, along with you, spying on us?" Vinyl looks at me, her eyes full of......... Fury. I think.

"I just tag along and bail her out of jail. God, the things I do for that girl." I say.

"Is this the reason she went off like a time bomb?" Octavia asks.

"No. What you said ticked her off." I explain

"Speak of Lyra, pull out four chairs and put them in a circle. She's supposed to be here in three minutes." I look at my watch.

After the place was ready, Lyra walked in.

"Ooh..... Lyra?" I cooed.

The intervention

I look around, very confused. Wait, is that? It is! Bon stole my journal! My personal journal! And, uh-oh. Vinyl & Octavia + My journal = Trouble! Real math. I put on my poker face as Bon Bon says I have to sit down. Angry glares from Vinyl, small whimpers of embrassment from Octavia, and fake kindness from Bon is all I'm fully aware of. Vinyl clears her throat.

"You've been stalking us for a year, writing everything you see in that journal. Any thoughts?" Vinyl asked it like a question, but it was just a command.

"First, not stalking, second, eleven months, one week, and five days, third, you don't know how I feel. Bon's always cramping my style, Bon says I'm paranoid, and you passed." I said. Everybody looked at me weird.

"What do you mean?" Tavi asked. Bon laughed. I bust out laughing.

"Bon, will you? I'm laughing too hard." I say in between laughs.

"Okay. Lyra is taking psychology and drawing conclusions, and she decided to use you two as lab rats. I hang around, and Lyra didn't know you two were dating. I told her, and she knew what to do. She's very clever. She even came up with your ship name! Anyway, we were slowly making you paranoid, wherever you went. As in, you felt our presence, therefor, making you a tad bit insane. How did you sleep anyway?" Bon explained.

"Ummm...." Tavi began. "Not that well. We had a feeling someone was watching us."

"So you were going 90's Nick insane?" I said. Believe me. That stuff's insane.

"That's too crazy. Like, first five minutes of Rin and Stimpy." Vinyl said. Pffft. Only the episode when Rin considers killing Stimpy.

"So.... We were lab rats?" Tavi asked.

"Ooh Octavia. Sweet, sweet Octavia. Yes! Indeed you were." I make a face like I know everything.

"What about that notebook?" Vinyl looked at me.

"That thing? Ooh. Well, that's undecided. But......... I think you can have it. After all, I need it for my final grade in Drawing Conclusions. I also have a notebook on how your insanity progressed. Pfft. Tavi, I thought you would've dismissed it. Oh! Now I can be Real Lyra! Wahoo!" I run around, kick off my shoes, my socks, get a giant cup of cocoa, drink it, take off my clothes and run into my bed.

"The name's Lyra. Lyra Heatstrings. Sleeping Extrodinare!" I yell, right before I drift to sleep.