Good Advice Guy

by midashguy

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 923

It's the super good advice guy!

He wanders Equestria dishing out sensei quality metaphors and advice. To everypony he greets he gives upon them great wisdom and knowledge to aid them with their journey of life.

If only somepony knew what he was talking about.

Published 2015-05-06 05:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-06 05:40:02 UTC

Really Good Advice

Sensei Good Advice stroked his beard, deep in thought. He had watched the orange and blue horses argue and shout at each other for some time. He closed his eyes and became one with nature and knew the time was right, for this destiny was foretold. The winds blew with apple blossoms and the beauty of everything was laid bare. But there was a rift, an issue. The arguing ponies to be exact. He sighed, mildly frustrated.

"Ah swear Rainbow if you do that one more time I'll kick ya'll all the way to Canterlot you hear?*" Applejack sputtered.

"Well sorry I'm so...uh....what the." Rainbow trailed off, noticing the five hundred year old Sensei next to them.

"Ooohm." He meditated. "Your foolish bickering could upset the balance, so I give you these words to aid you. Ooohm."

"Uhh." Applejack just stared, confused.

Sensei's eyes narrowed. He turned to Applejack "A rock is unyielding and strong, but moves not." He shook his head, turning to Rainbow Dash. "A leaf in the wind soars high, but does not choose where it lands."

"But who are-.." Rainbow Dash tried to ask.

"Apapap!" He cut in, more than slightly irritated. "Who I am matters not. It is who you must choose to be that matters!"

Sensei Good Advice shuffled away, leaving two very confused ponies behind him.

"Ah do think we can work something out Rainbow." Applejack said.

"Yea, so do I." Rainbow Dash said with a sigh. "I think we need to compromise..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fluttershy was not exactly having a wonderful day. What with being talked into helping Pinkie Pie with baking, she struggled to keep up with her far more vibrant friend. Pinkie Pie was quite nearly Fluttershy's polar opposite, in fact it could be entirely possible that Fluttershy is actually the Anti-Pinkie in disguise. Though Fluttershy hoped that cooking with her might strengthen their friendship as a whole.

"Then you add some sugar! Then you add the flour and water, then more sugar! Hehe! Then the milk, and then some sugar!" Pinkie giggled, prancing about.

"Oh..Pinkie? Isn't that just a teensy bit too much sugar?" Fluttershy tried warning her.

"What was that Fluttershy I didn't hear- Whoa!" Pinkie sputtered before tripping over a spare bag of flour, it ruptured, sending white powder everywhere. Thus highlighting why to never bake and dance. When the cloud finally cleared, there stood amongst them was a little elderly creature with a beard nearly as long as he was tall.

"Ooohm. Nature is often quiet before the serpent strikes. Ooohm." He said, then turned to Pinkie. "Yet a flower's color is brightest on a background of grey."

"Ooh, neat advice Sensei!" Pinkie said with a laugh. He bowed slightly. "You are most welcome, my pupil." Just as he had appeared, he vanished in a cloud of flour.

"What a nice fella." Pinkie giggled.

"Ah...what?" Fluttershy asked, confused.

"Didn't you say something about too much sugar?" Pinkie asked, looking in the mixing bowl. "Yikes that is a bit much**..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ah, now only the purple and the vain one remain." Sensei said, stroking his beard once more. "May the elders grant me strength on this day..."

Twilight and Rarity were in Twilight's house calmly reading. Twilight was reading a guide to optimizing a organizing plan for the library, and Rarity was simply reading a fashion magazine. They both, however, were silently mocking the others choice of reading.

Before they could continue their silent book mockery, they were hit in the face with flour and a shriveled old guy with a long beard and a staff. The flour didn't hurt as much as being body slammed by by an elderly man.

"Ow..." Twilight grumbled. Sensei Good Advice got up and poked Twilight with end of his staff.

"One must never mistake knowledge for wisdom, or let the false belief of the presence of either grant arrogance." Then he jabbed Rarity with the staff.

"A gem shines brightest on the outside only when the light shines from within!" Just as they finished scrapping the flour off their faces, they were struck with another salvo of the baking material, and Sensei Good Advice vanished.

"Gah!" Rarity moaned. "What in the name of Celestia was that?"

"Did he call me dumb?" Twilight wondered out loud.

"Did you do as I asked?" Princess Celestia questioned.

"To the letter." Sensei Good Advice muttered.

"Good." Celestia said with a smile, handing him a cup. He grabbed it, and took a cautious sip.

"Ahh. Good tea." He chortled.

"I'm assuming that you enjoyed yourself?" Celestia asked.

"As much as I could." Sensei replied innocently.

"Good, good." Celestia tried stifling a laugh. "So you've stayed here a while now."

"Two and a half hundred years." He reminded her.

"Right right, a little while. Anyhow I was wondering if you could to the whole delivering advice to some other ponies." Celestia explained.

"I would require more tea." He replied simply.

"Yes yes, I can supply you with more tea." Celestia said, rolling her eyes.

"So, who shall I grant such glances of wisdom?"

"Well I figure you could start with this one named Blue Blood..."

*Applejack may have the ability to kick a pony all the way to Canterlot, further testing required.

** Please note that "Too much" for Pinkie Pie usually equals more than enough to kill the average pony.

Author's Note

A dumb one shot for the sake of being dumb. Typed and published in one night.

Forgive me if it's awful.