Mom, I know I let you down
Princess Luna paced back and forth in the chamber of her sister's bedroom as she awaited the elder alicorn's arrival. The moon was shining in the middle of the dark blue sky in all its glory as some beams penetrated the windows inside the grand bedroom.
In her boredom, the Princess of the Night had summoned a brief meteor shower for the ponies to enjoy, the first since her return. Streaks of diferent colors flashed in the sky, whizzing past the radiant lunar while the residents of the Canterlot Castle stared in awe.
She let out a heavy sigh as she was unsure whether or not the ponies in Equestria may accept her status as royalty after her last two incidents as the dreaded Nightmare Moon. During her banishment, she had become the monster that parents used to tell their foals about at night.
She attempted to knock the thoughts of her past out of her mind but they kept on coming back, resonating into the deepest sanctums of her inner mental state. They reminded her of all the ponies she hurt, of all those she had caused despair. They were starting to make her believe that she was always going to be the monster that is, Nightmare Moon.
Even though Celestia, Twilight Sparkle and her friends in Ponyville had forgiven her for her misdeeds, she just couldn't forgive herself. She could've easily dismissed her past behavior as being due to her corruption by Nightmare Moon's magic but it wasn't the truth.
She was the one behind the creation of Nightmare Moon and she was always in control of the persona. Luna just could not believe that she even had the audacity to even think of torturing her loyal subjects.
In her pursuit of her own selfish needs, she turned on her sister and friends as well as all of the ponies in Equestria. She had even dared to break the promise she made to her own mother.
Her mother.
Probably the one she hurt the most was her own mother. In spite of all her mother's efforts to steer her in the right direction, she ignored her and left her. She never even got the chance to say goodbye.
When she tried to approach her, she chastised her for betraying her and for favoring Celestia all through the years. She had always wanted that particular memory to be locked away but she couldn't but help revisit it whenever she felt guilty.
She remembered how much she loved her in spite of all she said and all she did.
Her mother, Queen Faust was the Grand Ruler of Equestria and together with her two daughters and Starswirl, they lived a happy life in a castle in the Everfree.
A beautiful garden in the middle of the castle was their favored place to bond as a family, a place where some of Luna's fondest memories of her foalhood were formed.
"Celestia? Luna?" she recalled her mother's loving voice calling out to her and Celestia.
In an instant, two young alicorns teleported in front of the grand ruler of Equestria, one white alicorn with a pink mane and a dark blue alicorn with a cyan mane.
"What is it, mom?" Luna asked.
"What's wrong?" Celestia added.
"Nothing" Queen Faust gave the duo a smile before she pulled them into a loving hug, "I just...I just love you two so much".
"We love you too!" Celestia exclaimed, tightening her hold on her mother.
Luna held on tightly to her mother, trying to best her sister in giving the best hug ever. However, she relented a little when she felt a drop of water hit her head.
"Mom? Are you..." Luna asked as she looked up at her mother and noticed tears at the corner of her eyes, "...crying? Are you sad?"
"No...no, I'm not" Queen Faust denied, wiping away her tears, "What were you doing?", she asked.
"We were just playing together" Celestia quickly replied.
"Could you two make promise to me?" their mother asked as she cuddled the smaller alicorns.
"Anything, mom" Luna answered.
"While I'm away, can you two promise me that you'll always look out for each other no matter what?" Faust asked.
The siblings merely exchanged puzzled glances as they pondered the question. Where was their mother going away? And why did she ask them such an obvious question? Of course, they were going to be together forever and ever.
"What do you mean?" Celestia asked.
"Where are you going?" Luna inquired innocently.
"Just promise me" Faust merely gave a loving smile before she placed her daughters down on the floor.
"We promise" The two alicorns replied confidently in unison.
A drop of tear flowed down the side of Luna's face as the words continued to echo. How could've she been so stupid? Turning her back on Celestia was one thing but breaking the promise she made to her mother was another. She was furious at herself for not being able to go with her mother's last wish.
"Mom..." she whispered while she silently wept, "I'm sorry..."
Tears fell from her eyes in succession as they splashed on the carpeted floor below. Each one a stinging reminder that she was never going to be able to make amends with her mother no matter how hard she tried.
Although it was the last time Celestia saw their mother, it wasn't hers. She vaguely recalled the opportunity she wasted to redeem herself during her banishment to the moon, the opportunity to tell her mother how much she loved her.
It was a few days after she was sent to the moon by the powers of her sister and the Elements of Harmony. She attempted to fly back to Equestria but her powers were weakened and she could make no further attempt to get back to her home.
She had to spend her life on the barren wasteland until her powers returned, only then could she be able to exact revenge on those who had wronged her.
Luna only wanted the ponies to enjoy the night as much they enjoyed the day but her sister would not allow their subjects to wallow in the darkness and that was the spark which would ignite the fire between the two siblings.
She was angry at everypony on Equestria, especially her mother and sister who denied them the praise that was only showered upon the favored daughter. She hated it; she hated every single bit of it.
She asked her mother for help but no answer came from her. She had ignored her, much like the ponies who ignored the beauty of the night and slept right through it. This ultimately led to the broken bond behind her and Celestia which transformed her into Nightmare Moon.
"Curse you, Celestia!" Luna yelled, wishing that she had her alicorn powers back so that she could blast Equestria into ashes.
But the reality was that she was stuck on the floating rock, powerless and all alone, probably for many years to come.
"Daughter.." she heard a faint voice call out her name.
She instantly recognized her mother's voice. A scowl appeared on her face as all the rage and frustration inside of her increased sevenfold before she finally faced the one who refused her any help when she needed it.
"You..." she growled, pointing a hoof at an image of her mother, "You only approach me now!?"
"Luna dear, calm down" Faust replied, putting on a worried look. However, Luna was having none of it.
"You left me alone and because of you, I'm stuck on this wasteland!" she shouted right in her mother's face.
"Please, my daughter. Let me explain, you were wrong to think that your loyal subjects should be forced to enjoy the night", Faust said, "If your sister had let you rule with that mentality, Equestria would eventually be in ruins".
"And who says that it won't be when I return?" Luna countered, "I hate you! I hate Celestia! She was supposed to look out for me but instead, she banished me!".
"It was for your own good.."
"It was for yours. You had always favored my sister and she was always the heir to your throne, wasn't she? I was just a mere afterthought and you only made me feel important just to make me feel like I belong there!" she pointed at Equestria.
"Luna..."
"And when I get back there, the night which they ignored, the darkness which they feared will consume them all because you never gave me the chance I wanted", Luna growled, "I'm done with you. I won't consider you my mother anymore. I will always be far away from you, estranged from you because from this day on, I have no mother".
The Princess of the Night had fully slumped to the floor, soaking the carpet below her in her tears. If only she had one more chance to right all the wrongs with her mother, to see her once again, she would gladly pay anything to get that chance.
She still couldn't believe all the words she said to her mother. She denied her and to this day, they remained estranged and she hated it. How heartbroken her mother would've been.
In her sorrow, she failed to notice a white mare enter the room.
Celestia slowly moved towards her sobbing sister, levitating the younger alicorn's royal ornaments away from her body.
"Sister, what's the matter?" she asked, placing a hoof on her sister's back.
However, even though she knew that Celestia only intended to comfort her, Luna's hatred for her past actions only increased when she saw her sister's face.
She couldn't believe that she had destroyed her friendship with her sister because of her own selfish needs. It was probably the worst decision she had ever made in her entire life and she was surprised that her sister forgave her so easily.
"I-I'm so sorry, Tia" Luna replied. The next second, the younger alicorn lunged forward and embraced her sister with a tight and loving hug, her tears flowing freely from her eyes.
"There, there, dear sister" Celestia returned the hug, gently stroking her sister's mane to ease her nerves.
"I-I should've never left you and mother" she sniffed.
"You know I've already forgiven you for everything. There's nothing more to worry about" Celestia replied calmly, "Tell me, is there something you want to do to help you feel better? Maybe we can go and visit Twilight and her friends or should I read you a story?"
"I...I...There is one thing..." Luna barely managed to reply as she wiped away her tears, "...but it's something that I can't do...I mean, the time has already passed. It's way too late to do it", she said, breaking away from her sister.
"Nothing is too late, dear sister" Celestia gave her a loving smile.
For a second, Luna could've sworn she saw a glimpse of her mother in Celestia's face but she quickly dismissed it, fully knowing that their mother had long passed away from this realm.
"I-I just wish I had the chance to apologize to her" she reluctantly replied.
"To whom?" Celestia asked.
"To mother" Luna buried her face between her hooves as memories of her last conversation with Queen Faust flashed in her mind. She hated going back but it was something she was never going to be able to take back no matter how hard she might try.
"That..may be a bit hard but maybe you could just say what you want to say to mother to me", Celestia suggested, gently placing Luna's hooves to the floor.
"W-What do you mean?" Luna inquired.
"Well, imagine I'm mother. Just tell me everything you would've told mother if she was still around" Celestia explained.
"But, I-I don't think that..."
"Trust me" Celestia gave her a knowing nod.
"I-I...a-alright..." Luna gave in before she took a deep breath, "Mother?"
"Yes, Luna? What is it?" Celestia asked back.
"I..I..." Luna stammered. The resemblance between her mother and Celestia at that moment took her by surprise. it was almost as if the Grand Ruler of Equestria was in the room in the flesh.
"Just say it, Luna" Celestia persuaded her.
"I...I'm sorry!" Luna cried out loud, instinctively hugging the largest white figure next to her, "I'm sorry...M-Mom..." she wept.
"My dearest Luna, is there something troubling you?" Celestia asked softly.
"I-I'm sorry for breaking your promise...I was wrong...I'm sorry, mom. I let you down..." Luna continued.
The role-play appeared to work, according to Celestia. She could feel the tension and pent-up frustration which was bottled up inside of her sister slowly subside, piece by piece.
"Don't be sad. Now I see your life is taking a turn for the better. You have a fine sister, family and friends", Celestia added, kissing the dark blue alicorn on her forehead.
"I know my future might be happy but b-because of my past, I'm still unsure of what may happen. I-I don't know if I'll ever be accepted again" Luna replied.
"Just know that I will still love you, no matter how far you might stray away from me" Celestia told her, holding her sister tightly.
"I'm sorry m-mom for everything I said to you, y-you did your best to raise me and Tia a-and I'm s-sorry I never got to thank you for it" Luna sobbed, her tears flowing like a stream, "I want y-you to know that i never meant to take it that far. I-I understand if you'll hate me for what happened a millennium ago...".
"Shh...I'll never hate you, my daughter" Celestia whispered, placing a hoof on Luna's snout.
With that, Luna looked up at her sister and saw not the Princess of the Sun but her mother's loving gaze. She smiled, amidst her tears for she knew that somewhere, someplace, her mother was smiling back at her with all her love.
Celestia looked into the innocent eyes of her little sister and saw that she had finally let go of all her sorrow and all her fear. Her sister was on track to being the proud and confident sister that she grew up with. And this time, there was going to be absolutely nothing that would get in the way of her friendship.
"I will always love you, my daughter" the white mare whispered softly into Luna's ear.
The loving embrace between the two alicorns lasted for a full ten minutes. Celestia wanted to make sure that her sister cried all her sorrow and regret out of her heart so that it may be filled with love later.
Luna wasn't able to talk, all she could do was weep tears of mixed emotions. The mare who held her didn't feel like her sister, it was her mother. The relief she felt when her mother told her that she loved her was beyond compare. Now, even if her life ended suddenly, she wouldn't be afraid to die.
"Feel better, sister?" Celestia asked as she gently pulled away from Luna.
"I am, Tia. Thank you for that" Luna gave her a nod while wiping away her tears.
"It was nothing" Celestia chuckled before she gave her sister one last hug, "After all, family comfort each other".
"You still...squeeze...too tight...heh..." Luna chuckled while she gasped for air as her Celestia gave her a tight bear hug.
"I'm going to take a stroll in the garden. If you need me just call" Celestia told Luna, breaking the embrace in the process.
"Okay" Luna smiled.
The white mare slowly trotted out of the room before closing the door. Luna felt relieved that she had managed to get everything out of her system. She pondered how in the world Celestia managed to know exactly how to calm her down.
However, she was happy in the end. Having a sister like Celestia was one of the best things that could've possibly happened in her life. She was truly the greatest sister a mare could ever have.
Just as she was about to leave the room to resign to her own chambers, she heard a low grunt behind her. Puzzled, Luna turned around and saw something beneath the sheets of Celestia's bed.
"Finally...peace and quiet..." she heard a sleepy voice remark.
"Huh? Who are you?" Luna inquired as she stood at the bedside, wondering who the hay was beneath the blanket.
"Spoke too soon..." the voice murmured. Now there was no mistaking it.
Still a bit skeptical, the Princess of the Night threw back the bed sheets. To her utter surprise, a familiar white alicorn was sleeping on the bed, an annoyed look on her sleepy face.
"TIA!?" Luna reeled back in shock.
"I know you'd like to converse with someone but couldn't you talk to one of the guards?" Celestia groaned, covering herself with a sheet.
"W-Wha...but how? H-How did you get in here?" Luna asked, her mouth wide-open from surprise.
"I entered while you were staring at the moon, talking to yourself", Celestia's muffled voice replied.
"B-but how? Then who..?" Luna stammered, trying to process what exactly had happened. Wasn't it Celestia she was talking to? Then if not, who was she talking to.
"I thought you needed some time alone so I didn't interfere..." Celestia added.
Luna was becoming more and more confused with every passing second. She couldn't figure out who the heck she had been talking for the last few minutes.
And then it struck her.
Without any hesistation, she peered through a window to steal a glance at the garden. A smile etched itself on her tear filled face as she saw a familiar white alicorn with a crimson mane and tail effortlessly float towards the night sky.
She watched silently as her mother's form disappeared into the darkness of the night, her essence increasing the beauty of the moon.
Luna shed tears of joy as she witnessed her mother leave the world. This time, she had no regrets in watching her go.
All she needed to see and all she needed to hear was her mother telling her thar she loved her no matter what. To her, there were no words sweeter than that.
"Just out of curiousity, dear sister" Celestia popped her head from beneath the sheets, "Who were you talking to?"
"A special someone" Luna replied,smiling at the moon.
Her blue eyes were fixed at the heavenly object as comet flew past. She knew that somewhere in the heavens beyond the great cosmos, her mother was smiling at her with pride and love.
No more guilt. No more doubts. No more fear of rejection. It was definitely the best night ever in her entire life. It was the night she could finally say the four words she had always wanted to say without any hesitation.
"I love you, mom" she whispered.
