No Pizza in Ponyville

by AngryPenguin

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Other
Length: 4503

What happens when Freddy Fazbear is sent to Ponyville by accident? Will he make friends, or will he question his sanity?

Booting up in a strange land, Freddy has no idea where he is. He wonders how he got there and how he will get back. When he meets a certain six ponies, he has no idea what is going on. Eventually, he learns a little about where he is and seeks help from Twilight Sparkle. After all, she is the reason he is there. Will Freddy ever get back to his pizzeria before the children wonder where he is? Maybe he will get a little help from an unexpected visitor. All he knows, is that his head is about to pop off!

Published 2015-05-09 05:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-29 20:01:02 UTC

Not Your Average Pizza Pie

Freddy Fazbear opened his eyes slowly. Today was going to be a good day! He would make all of the children happy and play with them. Bonnie could even-

He twisted his head around. This was not his pizzeria.

With the sounds of gears grinding, he stood up and scanned this new place. It wasn’t in his database! All around him, wildlife stirred, trees and grass grew green and lush. There wasn’t even a cloud in the sky! He furrowed his metal brows and kicked a rock that was close by. How on earth did he get here?

As he crossed his arms, he noticed a pink blur passing in front of him. It would have scared him if he were human, but being an animatronic, he feared absolutely nothing! Suddenly, the pink blur stopped in front of him.

“Hi!” The pink pony smiled so brightly, it almost made Freddy’s circuit board catch fire.

He stared at her. Ponies couldn’t talk!

“Who are you? I’m Pinkie Pie! Are you knew to Ponyville? What are you? What’s your name?” The energetic pony bombarded him with questions. He covered his ears and let out an ear splitting screech.

When he finished, he saw that she was unfazed, still staring at him. Freddy’s jaw fell from its joints and hit the grass with a soft clank.

“Ooohh, that was scary!” She clopped her hooves.

He picked up his jaw and attached it, again. He then turned to walk off. There was no time for this nonsense! He had to get back to his pizzeria!

“Hey! Wait! Where are you from?!” The annoying pony bounced beside him as he walked.

When he didn’t answer her, she gasped. “Oh, no! You can’t talk!”

He facepalmed.

“Don’t worry! Since you’re a robot bear, I think my friend Fluttershy can understand you!” She grabbed his arm and tugged, forcing him to follow her.

He screeched, softer this time, and shook his head.

“But maybe we can figure out where you came from! Maybe we can help you get back!” She persuaded.

Freddy rubbed his chin. Maybe this odd pony was on to something. He finally nodded and jumped as she squealed, happy to have a new friend. She motioned for him to follow her pointing to a small cottage in the distance. Freddy sighed. Maybe there would be a human there. Things were getting strange to him. Especially since Pinkie kept remarking about how he smelled “funny”.

They finally arrived at the house. Pinkie banged on the door. “Fluttershy! I need your help!”

Freddy knew he couldn’t be scared, but the constant smile on her face was really starting to creep him out! Another pony opened the door. This one was yellow and had… wings? Her pink mane hid her eyes, but he could tell she was a little frightened by him.
He picked up his hand to wave at her. She squeaked and hid behind Pinkie.

“Aw, come on, Fluttershy! This is my friend…” She waited for him to give her a name.

He looked around, finding a stick, then he wrote his name in the dirt.

“Freddy?” Pinkie snorted and giggled. “That’s a funny name for a bear!”

He growled. She was really annoying him!

“Fluttershy, can you tell me what he’s saying?” Pinkie asked, nudging her towards the towering, robot.

The one called Fluttershy looked at him with big eyes. She then tilted her head and tiptoed closer to him. If he could sweat, he would have. For a quiet pony, she was pretty intimidating. Those eyes!

“I’m not sure if I can interpret what he’s saying. I can give it my best shot, but I can’t promise anything.” Her voice was barely audible to him. Even with augmented hearing, he had trouble hearing her.

He began making static and short screeching noises. Fluttershy nodded a few times while he communicated through his broken speaker.

When he finished, she sighed. “I only got bits and pieces of it, but he said something about a pizza parlor and that he didn’t belong here. I don’t think he knows how he got here. Maybe Twilight can help us.” She looked to Pinkie with a saddened expression.

“Okie, dokie, lokie!” Pinkie began bouncing away.

Freddie, angrily, followed. How many more of these talking horses did he have to meet?

Making their way into town, Freddy noticed several more ponies became nervous in his presence. Except for one. A sea foam colored pony with a lyre on her hip smiled, wildly. She kept staring at his hands. He cringed and stayed close to Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. He looked up to see a huge oak tree with a door and a few windows carved on the sides. Pinkie banged on this door, too. A purple pony with wings and a horn opened the door. Her attention stayed on a book as she greeted them.

“Welcome to Golden Oaks Library. What can I do for-“ She looked up to see Freddy standing with his arms crossed and his face contorted with irritation.

“Twilight! We need your help! Our friend, Freddy, needs to get back to his world and we don’t know what to do! Do you know how he got here?” Pinkie blurted, grabbing Twilight’s cheeks.

Twilight pushed her away and rubbed her face. She then flapped her wings and hovered in front of Freddy’s face. He rolled his eyes and allowed her to observe him. She tapped his hat and examined his limbs. She then found a small latch in his back that she opened.
Freddy was furious! How dare she invade his privacy! He snatched the small compartment closed and threw his hands up, screaming and shaking his finger in her face.

“S-sorry! Sorry. I was just trying to figure out how you got here. I’ve never seen this sort of technology before.” She scratched her head with a forehoof.

“Maybe somepony used magic?” Fluttershy quietly suggested.

Twilight thought a moment. “It’s definitely possible.” She looked to Freddy. “Do you remember how you got here?”

He made more animatronic noises, communicating to Fluttershy.

She began interpreting. “He says he just… booted up here. That’s all he knows.”

Freddy nodded, satisfied with her translation. He actually said a few more choice words that shouldn’t be heard, but he didn’t think she knew what they meant.

“That’s odd.” She then blinked and blushed. Freddy knew what this meant, and he didn’t like it. “I, uh… may have played around with some unknown magic that was in a book I was reading last night.” Twilight rubbed her neck and sat down on the ground.

Freddy became furious. He screamed and stomped, shaking his fist at her. This went on for several minutes.

“Oh…” Fluttershy blushed and covered her eyes.

By the time Freddy finished, he was steaming with anger. This was her fault! He was supposed to be back at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza taking care of the children!

The three ponies stared in shock. They didn’t have to understand him to know what he meant.

“I-I’m sorry, Freddy. I’ll get to work on a spell to send you home, right away. Until then, I guess you can stay here.” Twilight murmured.

“I-I’ll stay also. If it’s okay, of course.” Fluttershy hid her face.

“Good idea. I may need you to translate.” Twilight informed her.

As they were conversing, three more of the obnoxious ponies approached them. Freddy didn’t know how much more he could take before his gears popped out of his head.

He mumbled a few soft hisses.

"Um, sorry, Freddy. I'm afraid we don't eat pepperoni pizza" Fluttershy said, softly.

His eyes twitched. No pepperoni?

Author's Note

Yeah, I don't really know what to say about this one. :twilightblush:
This is something i just threw together. I had the idea in my head and wanted to write it! I hope you guys enjoy! Thanks for reading!
-AP

Not More Than Five Nights, Please!

“What, in Equestria, is that thing?!” A white unicorn shrieked.

Freddy was not amused at her choice of words. He didn’t know if he should be offended or not.

“It looks like a bear or somethin’.” An orange pony with a stetson hat said.

“Are you kidding, AJ? It’s obviously a robot.” The blue pony with wings flew up to him and glared at him, suspiciously. “Are you here to destroy us with your lazer vision and dangerous weapons?”

Freddy facepalmed, again. Something told him he’d be doing that a lot.

“It’s okay, girls. I accidentally brought him here with a spell I was experimenting with.” Twillight assured them.

“He reeks!” The white pony held her nose.

Freddy tilted his head, then scanned himself. If only he had smell sensors.

“What’s going on?” A tiny dragon appeared behind Twilight, rubbing his eyes. “I was just resting my-“ He pointed his finger at Freddy and gasped. “What is that thing?!”

Twilight rolled her eyes and explained it to the dragon.

“Okay, I’m going back to bed. I have had enough freaky stuff for one day.” The dragon said, walking back into the library.

“How are you gonna get him back, Twi?” Applejack asked.

“I’m not sure, yet. I’ll have to keep him here until I can figure it out.” She replied.

The six ponies and Freddy went into the library. They introduced themselves and smothered him with more questions. Freddy could do nothing but stand there and watch as they poked and prodded him.

He was not happy about it, either.

Leaning over to Fluttershy, he quietly hissed something in her ear. She nodded.

“Um, Freddy says, can you guys please let him be?”

The other five stared, but agreed. Freddy sighed, relieved, they would leave him alone. Pinkie Pie hopped on his head, making his endoskeleton scream with protests.

“This calls for a party!” She slammed a party hat on his head.

Before she could do anything else, Freddy grabbed her by the shoulders and made her look at him while he sternly shook his head.

“Oh. O-okay. No parties then.” She smiled, nervously.

He put her down and patted her head. Good pony.

Several hours passed, and night was approaching. The others had left, leaving only Fluttershy, Twilight, and Freddy in the library.

“I don’t understand. The spell I was experimenting with was only to create a miniature black hole. It must have dragged poor Freddy through, bringing him into our universe.” Twilight’s mane was slightly messy as she explained, frantically flipping through pages in several books.

“Can’t you just open another black hole and send him back to his world?” Fluttershy spoke up.

“No. I’m afraid, if I do, he might not go back to his universe, but another. It can be at random, to put it simply. I’ll have to find a way to direct the portal to where it needs to be.” Twilight explained.

Freddy’s eye twitched. There was no telling when he would go back home!

He quickly grabbed Twilight and squawked more gibberish.

“He wants to know when you’ll be able to send him back. He’s worried about the children.” Fluttershy said.

Twilight’s eyes widened and her pupils shrunk at the sight of Freddy being in her face. “I-I’m going to try and get you home within the next couple of days. If I can’t, Princess Celestia will know what to do.”

Freddy dropped her. His eyes widened as his anger grew. He then let her have it.

Twilight and Flutteshy hid behind a table as he screamed and knocked over furniture. He was absolutely infuriated! If she had never experimented with that stupid spell, he would have never even left home! He continued making horrifying noises until his head flew off. The spring under his suit must have collapsed under the stress. The two ponies screamed and held onto each other for dear life as Freddy’s head landed in front of them.

He growled as his body picked up his head and locked it back in place. He faced the cowering mares and sympathized. They were doing the best they could and he frightened them. Freddy almost felt bad for them.

His mouth opened, but he hesitated to say anything. Instead, he looked down and walked to the door. He thought it best to leave them alone while they worked on the spell.

Freddy found a park bench and sat down, propping his head in his hands. He wanted to go back to the pizzeria. Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy were probably worried. A shadow passed by him. His nightvision activated, allowing him to see the green outline of a dragon-like creature.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” The creature slithered around Freddy, smirking.

“You seem be from a different world. A different dimension! Can you speak?” He said.

Just as Freddy opened his mouth, the draconequus shushed him. “Don’t tell me. Twilight summoned you here by accident.”

Freddy nodded.

“I see. And they are currently working on a way to get you back?”

He nodded, again.
“Excellent. Of course, I am the only one who can alter a black hole’s path. You can call me Discord.” He bowed in front of Freddy.

Freddy shrugged. His confusion was started to show.

Discord chuckled. “I will send you back, myself, but I need a favor, first.”

Freddy thought a moment, then nodded.

“Good.” He rubbed his hands together and cackled, evilly.

He didn’t know why Discord wanted him to scare the rulers of Equestria. It was odd, indeed, but it was a small price to pay to get back. Freddy waited in the closet of the royal palace until he could catch Celestia before she retired for the night.

“I will see to it that the Crystal Empire be informed of the celebration. Good night, Luna.” He heard a motherly voice from outside the closet. He heard the door close. He signaled to the hidden Discord who was disguised as a lamp. The draconequus blinked once, making the lanterns go dim. Celestia darted her eyes back and forth. “Who’s there?”

Freddy activated the music box in his throat and opened the closet door so that she could see his face light up and blink.
Her horn ignited. Just as she was about to attack, his face darkened and the music stopped. All was silent. Then, he jumped from the closet and let out the most inhuman screech anyone’s ever heard. She backed into the wall and started breathing rapidly.

Freddy stood in front of her, still as a board. His hands were raised above her head to intimidate the princess.

She nearly fainted, until Discord laughed maniacally.

“You should have seen your face!” He howled.

Freddy turned off the lights in his eyes and raised his brows at the guffawing Discord.

Princess Celestia stared, fear in her eyes. “I-I don’t understand.”

Discord snapped his fingers and a tub of popcorn appeared in his claws. “Don’t you see, Tia? This was probably the best prank I have ever pulled. Just to see you that scared, intrigued me!”

She glared. “Discord! I should turn you to stone for this!” She jabbed a shaken hoof at Freddy. “And you! Who are you? Where do you reside?”

Freddy shrunk down into his shoulders and let out a quiet hiss of static.

“He says he is quite sorry. See, my friend isn’t from here.” Discord put his arm around Freddy. “You star pupil accidentally brought him here and is currently trying to find a way to send him back. I offered to help him if he helped me. I must say, it was totally worth it!” He chuckled.

Celestia seemed to relax a little, but she was still angry. “Very well, but as soon as possible, he needs to be sent back. I don’t want to upset the balance of things here. As for you,” She glared at Discord. “You will go back to where you live and never come to my castle, again.”

“Sheesh, can’t take a joke.” Discord mumbled.

Freddy had a hard time processing what had just happened. No matter. He would finally be getting back!

Home is Where the Pizza is

With a snap of his claws, Discord had them back at the library in a split second. He gingerly knocked on the door. Freddy wasn’t sure if Twilight was awake or not. It had gotten to be morning. His gears squealed as he turned his head to Discord.

“Who is it?” Twilights muffled voice came through the door. When she opened it, Freddy gave his best smile and waved at her.

“Freddy? Where were you? You didn’t have to run off!” She scolded. Freddy glared, making her back off.

“Okay, look I hit a breakthrough last night. I think I am able to get you home before the day is over with.” She said.

The rest of her friends piled behind her. “Freddy!” They screamed in unison.

“We thought you ran off! I didn’t want you to leave us without saying goodbye!” Pinkie wrapped her hooves around him and cried, tears pouring from her eyes dramatically.

Freddy pushed her away.

“Sorry.” She grinned.

“Heavens, darling, where have you been?” Rarity put her hoof over her chest.

“He was with me, of course. I told him I would help him get back to where he came from.” Discord appeared beside him.

“Oh, hi, Discord.” Fluttershy perked up.

“My dear, Fluttershy.” Discord bowed.

“Okay, so how are you supposed to get him home, exactly?” Applejack drawled.

“Yeah, and how did you find him?” Rainbow Dash poked Discord’s chest.

He scoffed. “Don’t blame me. I was simply taking a stroll through the park and found the poor fellow sitting on a bench.” A halo poofed above his head.

Freddy began speaking.

“Okay, okay! No need to be hasty!” Discord teleported everyone into the library.

“You can understand him?” Rainbow said, flatly.

Discord ignored her. “Since Twilight can create portals, and I can use my amazing chaos magic to control where the portal goes, Freddy will be back, lickity split.” He snapped his fingers, appearing behind Spike.

“Or… we can just let Twilight handle it.” Spike countered.

“What? Don’t trust me? We’re all friends, right?” Discord spread his arms and looked between the crowd of ponies.

They stared at him. Freddy picked his finger up, about to speak, when Twilight interrupted.

“That’s… actually a good idea.”

Everyone gasped.

“Twilight! You can’t be agreeing with that big… big… meanie!” Pinkie shouted.

“I must agree with Pinkie. How do we know he isn’t up to something?” Rarity added.

Freddy let out a long screech.

“Um, what did he say, sugarcube?” Applejack glanced at Fluttershy.

“He says he doesn’t think Discord isn’t a bad guy. And I, for one, agree. Discord is reformed, remember?” She said.

Freddy watched the disagreeing ponies mumble between themselves.

“Fine, but we will be watching you, Discord.” Rainbow said his name like it soured on her tongue.

Discord grinned. “Oh, believe me. Freddy is great for pranks, but no real domination plans.”

Freddy crossed his arms. What was that supposed to mean?

“Then it’s settled. I’ll go ahead and find a black hole. Discord, I need you to direct the portal.” Twilight said, igniting her horn.

As her horn glowed brighter, a ball of energy came from thin air before them. The pink aura started swirling and twisting, eventually becoming large enough for Freddy to fit through. She started sweating as the swirling mass collapsed in on itself, becoming a hole filled with nothing.

“Okay,” She grunted, “Discord, hurry. I don’t know how much longer I can keep it open.”

Discord cracked his knuckles. “Time to shine!”

Freddy uncrossed his arms and stared, wide-eyed, as the draconequus was sucked into the hole. As if staring into space, a small spark exploded. It was the closest thing to a supernova Freddy would ever see. Then, as fast as he entered, Discord exited the void.

“Finished. The portal to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza awaits you, my friend. By the way, your friends are slightly… creepy.” Discord whispered to Freddy.

Freddy rolled his eyes one last time and screeched his goodbyes to everyone.

“No! I never got to throw you a party!” Pinkie clung to Freddy’s leg.

He picked her up and glared at her.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” She frowned.

Freddy then did something he had never done before. He hugged the pink pony with a fluffy mane. She squealed and hugged him back. After a second, Freddy pried her off and set her back down.

“I’ll miss you, Freddy!” She blew her nose in a handkerchief.

“Bye, Freddy!”

“Come visit, sometime!”

“Tell your friends we said hi!”

Freddy waved goodbye to the ponies as they said their various farewells. He then jumped into the dark vortex. He had to hug his suit close to him before the vacuum pulled it off of him. He saw a tiny white light that grew larger with each second. He blocked his eyes until finally he fell and landed on something made of wood.

When he opened his eyes, he saw he was back in the party room. He was home! Standing on his feet, he looked behind him on the stage. Bonnie, Chica, and Foxie stared at him in confusion. He smiled and walked towards them.

*Where have you been? You’ve been gone since this morning and we had to entertain the children without you!* Chica screeched.

*Also, there is a new night guard. It will soon be midnight, so you made it just in time.* Bonnie joined her.

Freddy put his hand to his forehead. *You guys wouldn’t believe what happened to me.*

(Deleted Scenes)

Author's Note

Hey everypony!
So, I found this in my files and I remembered that I didn't remember to add this after I had finished the story. Oopsie. :twilightblush: But, here it is! Just a few scenes I wanted to add to the story, but didn't know how to get into and out of each scene from the main story. I didn't want to just ramble. :applejackconfused:
I hope you guys enjoy!
-AP

P.S: I didn't edit them because they are DELETED SCENES it just doesn't make sense for me to edit something that really isn't part of the main story.

(Deleted Scenes)

Freddy was getting uncomfortable. The sea-foam colored unicorn kept staring at him, particularly his hands. Every time he took a step back, she would follow him. He finally had enough! He threw his hands in the air and screeched in anger. Freddy was tired of this mare's games!

"Sorry, I'm just looking at your... whatever you call them. I'm Lyra, by the way!" She said, reaching towards his arm.

He snatched it away and crossed his arms in front of him. Lyra seemed like the type to dismember one's appendages. And they say he's the monster!

"May I just... look? I've never seen them before!" She asked.

He shook his head.

"Please? I won't touch them! I just want to look!" She pleaded.

Freddy sighed and finally held out his hand. Lyra grinned from ear to ear. She was absolutely amazed by them and Freddy had no idea why. Suddenly, she grabbed his arm and pulled it off, running away. "With this, I shall create my own!" Freddy growled and ran after her, shrieking threats and curse words. He passed Rainbow Dash, who started flying after him.

"Freddy! What's wrong?" She yelled.

He pointed to the galloping Lyra who held his arm in her magic.

"Oh, well, let me handle it." Dash said, zooming in front of him.

Freddy watched as Rainbow dash tackled Lyra, making her roll headfirst into a building. Dash picked up his arm and flew back to him. Panting, she hoofed it back to him. He smiled the best he could and nodded his head in gratitude. Lyra twitched as half her body hung out the hole in the wall.

"She'll be fine. It'll teach her not to mess with us, right, Freddy?" She put a hoof on Freddy's shoulder.

He scratched his head. These ponies had serious issues.

"Darling, you mustn't be afraid. I just want to help." Rarity said, carrying a sponge and soap.

Freddy shrieked frantically. He couldn't get in wet! Was she mad?!

She stepped closer. "I don't want to offend, but you... well, you smell a little bit unpleasant."

Freddy backed away, shaking his head and waving his arms in front of him, defensively. Rarity jumped on his shoulders and scrubbed his suit, hard. He reached his arms behind him and spun around, trying to get her off, but he couldn't reach!

"Hold... still!" She demanded.

Suds covered his entire body by the time she was finished. She hopped off and admired her work. Freddy shrieked at her, scolding her actions.

"It wasn't that bad, was it? Now, we must rinse!" She clopped her hooves together.

His eyes widened. Not the water!

She floated a bucket of clear water towards him. The second he tried to run, she dumped the water on top of his head. The good news was that he was clean. The bad news was that he was sparking and twitching about, unable to control his body. Rarity covered her eyes as the melody in his voice box played, skipping and stopping frequently. Finally, he fell back, smoke coming from his mechanisms. His vision went black.

"-eddy? I'm terribly sorry, darling. Are you alright?"

His vision filled with static. After a moment, his systems booted back to normal. He sat up, rubbing his head. Freddy looked at Rarity, anger taking over. He pointed his finger and yelled.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't know you were going to start smoking like that! Luckily, I know a spell that dries clothes without shrinking them. After Sweetie Belle shrunk my favorite sweater, I thought I would look into it." She beamed. "But look at you! Aren't you just posh?"

Freddy examined his body, his anger fading when he saw how clean he had become. His fur wasn't always that dark? Standing, he shrugged and made his way to the front door to go back to the library.

"You're welcome, darling!" Rarity yelled after him, waving.

"What is it?"

"Ah don't know, but maybe we shouldn't be messin' with it."

"Don't be so boring, Applebloom. It's obviously a giant teddy bear!"

Freddy was unamused by the three fillies who poked and prodded him. They weren't human children, but they were a close second. He smiled and tipped his hat at the smaller ponies. They looked at each other. His voice box activated, singing the goofy song that so many times, entertained the children back home. When it was over, he bowed.

They stared for a moment. Then, the foals giggled and cheered, hugging his legs.

"That was awesome! You're a singing teddy bear!" The one called Scootaloo exclaimed.

Freddy smiled. After all, it was what he was made to do!