My name is Bold Buck. I am a 15-year-old stallion. Please listen to my story.
I had a friend. A best friend. Her name was Midnight Star. That pony loved to study the cosmos. She once said to me, "Bold, if we're able to go anywhere, we're able to go up there." She was a young scientist, comparable to that of Princess Twilight.
More than anything, however, she was my best friend.
I will always remember the day I first met her. She was sitting alone on a park bench, reading a book. We were ten. She looked so beautiful with her dark blue coat, dark-ish blue mane, and cyan eyes... The more I think about that day, the more I wish I could see her just one more time...
I sat next to her, not sure what to say through my awkwardness. Shyly, I asked her, "What book is that?"
She replied, "It's called 'A Study of Quasars, Third Edition'." She smiled as she said it, masking any possibility of emotional pain.
"Interesting. My name is Bold Buck," I said back, smiling also. The wind toyed with my yellow mane, and she giggled. I guess she thought it was cute.
"Midnight Star," she pointed to herself. "I love studying space."
"I've wanted to be in the Royal Guard since... Probably five," I said.
"How noble," she commented. I blushed. That is how we first met.
Four years went by after that day. We started seeing each other every week, alternating between her home and mine. I got on good ground with her parents; they liked the manners I showed in being a guest and my dreams and goals. Me and Midnight would then head up to her room to play games and even read books. Her room was a blue hue, with some assorted Symphonic Metal band posters here and there, a record player at the foot of her bed, and a bookshelf chock full of science fiction about space and everything about that place. It was there that I learned of her emotional pain.
"Bold, I need to tell you something. I've been getting bullied a lot in school," she said.
"How come?" I asked.
"Notice my blank flank. These bullies noticed how much I love space, as well. They called me an anticelestiac, a blank flank, a nerd... Everything."
"Sweet Celestia..." I replied. This was all coming too much. Before I knew it, she was starting to cry.
"I-I just want it all to end! I just want to feel happy and safe attending school and living my life, you know?" she cried. I'd never seen her cry this much, let alone before. This was about as heart-wrenching as seeing a cute pony cry, and I did see it! She started to calm down after about two minutes.
"I'm just so glad I have you, Bold," she said, hugging me.
Come next month, I gave her a telescope she wanted to study with. I didn't need it, even though I did occasionally look through it. I wanted it back, as I needed it for homework. I walked to her house and asked for it back.
"Sorry, Boldy. I need it for homework," she said at the door.
"Midnight, you told me yesterday that you had a test today with no homework afterward. I need that thing for school," I replied.
"But, Boldy-"
"Midnight, what's gotten into you? You're hoarding my telescope- my property- and won't give it back?! I need that for school!" She remained silent. "You know what, fine! Keep the telescope! Thanks for nothing, Midnight!" I slammed the door to her house, not looking back. I stormed back to my house, furious. Had she betrayed my trust?
The next day rolled by as my parents called me down to go to Midnight's house immediately. Now, I may have yelled at her yesterday, but I had already forgiven her, wanting to formally let her keep the telescope. I'm fairly certain we had a relationship rolling, as well. I raced out the door and in the direction of her house. I'm not sure I ever ran that fast before... I'm not even sure there's been a faster earth pony. I ran inside her house, panting after a good three minutes of constant, flurrying galloping.
What I saw was... Way too much for my heart to bear...
Midnight Star was on the floor of her room with her front legs sliced wide open and a knife right next to her.
She had committed suicide.
Beside her was note. It read,
Dear world that has completely abandoned me,
I give up. I just give up. No one cares about me anymore. All I wanted was a good life and to earn a cutie mark in astrophysics. Apparently, that was way too much. I thought I had discovered someone I could lean on and feel love from. I guess that wasn't meant to be. I'm done. Why should I go about my day, ruining other ponies' lives with my nonsense? I'm a thief, if anything. Thus, with a lonesome heart, I die. Goodbye.
-Midnight Star, a pony no one cares about.
After I thought about what happened yesterday, my heart exploded. I fell to the floor next to her corpse. Even in death, she still looked beautiful. I stroked her mane, and cried my eyes out, resting my head against hers. I cried for the rest of the day in the memory of my best and only friend. My parents had to drag me home.
The funeral was a short, mournful session. I could barely see through the tears in my eyes as it went. I think I even saw those bullies there, too, wracked with the guilt of assisting suicide, but I wasn't sure: she never gave me their details. She had a lot of relatives, as well.
I write this, one year after her death, to say this: no matter what, someone somewhere cares about you, even if you think they don't. If you had a falling out with a friend, things will sew themselves back together. I know what it feels like to experience loss, but in the name of Midnight Star, I have given up my dreams of being a Royal Guard and am now working with several charities and help centers. I said it already, and I will say it once more: People and ponies care about you, even when it seems like they don't.
Always remember, where there's darkness, there's light.
Goodbye, my friend... My shining Midnight Star...
Author's Note
Bold Buck is an earth pony.
Midnight Star is a unicorn.
Anticelestiac: A pony/person who is against Celestia and Luna, or tries to disprove the theory that they are goddesses.
With that out of the way, this story was written to say that people care about you no matter what. As a survivor of suicide and conqueror of severe depression and shattered self-esteem myself, I know what it feels like to feel hopeless. But, believe me...
Where there's darkness, there's light.
