the start of something new

When Valentina got home she told her mother she was going to her room and she nearly made it there so she could go cry -she was a more sensitive filly than most so a lot of things could hurt her, but after what those other fillies said it felt like holding back a lake trying to get through her eyes- when her father stopped her at the top of the cloud layered stairs. “Where are you going in such a hurry? How was school?” He asked. She didn’t trust herself enough to speak because she was sure she would bawl her eyes out, but then she wasn’t sure she could hold the tears back much longer or that she could avoid answering him with words because they were answers that required words. “Is everything alright?” Her father asked genuinely curious, she couldn’t hold back the tears much longer and the started spilling down her face without her violation. Her father knew that she didn’t like to cry in front of ponies, not even her parents, so he guided her to her room. As she stumbled to get there her father said very quietly, “you can come down stairs when you’re ready.” Once he left Valentina was crying like she never cried before, it was probably the worst crying any pony has ever heard come from a filly.

***

“She’s been up there for hours,” said Angelus feeling distraught and worried, “I should go up there and-“

“No, she needs to let it out,” said Ahli putting a wing around her.

Angelus knew he was right, but she thought she ought to do something. But, what? She thought, it’s not like I know anything of what happened, so I cant soothe her feelings, how am I anything else but useless in this situation? It had been 3 hours since Valentina went upstairs and started crying, and every now and then a loud harsh sob would float down the stairs and feel like a slap in the face to Angelus.

“But-“ she broke off as another loud sob came down the stairs and Angelus winced.

“She will be alright, Ange, she’s strong,” he squeezed Angelus tighter as another loud sob came down.

Angelus realized then that this was not just destroying her but it was destroying Ahli as well.

They sat there, in the kitchen and waited in silence; both wincing whenever a sob came down, until the crying stopped but neither of them moved a muscle as they waited for Valentina to come downstairs.

***

It had been three and a half hours and Valentina just couldn’t stop herself from crying, she felt like she would cry on forever, of course that wasn’t possible. I have to stop sometime, she thought to herself while tears were still streaming like a river down her face. Her heart rate was slowing and she found it was easier to breathe, now. Valentina walked over to her mirror that was in her room, looked at herself and thought, I am different, but why is that such a bad thing? She looked down at her hooves; they were the same light cyan blue they always were, but somehow she saw them different, almost as if they were strangers hooves. She looked back up, saw herself clearly as if for the first time and noticed all the differences between her and other ponies including her mother and father. A realization dawned on her, she always knew she was different; her parents never kept that part a secret. What they did keep secret was how she got this way, how she got the hearts on her body, and why she felt more strongly to others, never yielding to help no matter who it was.

“Why am I like this?” She asked herself in a whisper. She studied herself carefully the tears had finally stopped coming and now questions she always thought about but pushed to the back of her mind whenever they came up were flooding her head now. The questions came in a voice that was not her own, the voice was familiar, though not immediately identifiable. Valentina tried to push the question back but they kept on coming, why were you born like this? What happened to you? You know it had to have happened before you were born, so what happened? Why won’t your parents tell you? Why do they keep it secret? How did- abruptly agitated by the questions she never asked she screamed as loud as she could and felt her energy all of a sudden leave her as the questions faded and died away. Before Valentina slipped away into unconsciousness she saw her mother and father rushing toward her looking worried and then she slipped away and let the darkness take her.