Dashing Vlogs

The camera began to get a little blurry as it came in and out of focus. A giant black alicorn sat before it. Her blue wings were folded onto her back. Her blue and white Mohawk shimmered in the light. "Is this thing on?" she grumbled. Her eyes were narrowed behind her tinted sunglasses. Blue magic began to glow from her horn. The alicorn came into sight clearly. The room behind her was full of boxes. Ponies behind her began to unpack them one by one. Dashing sighed. "So, as you can see I made it to my house safely. Sweet Celestia it took forever!"

"Brad! Don't drop the box!" A voice snapped from behind.

"It's not my fault if I drop it! It's your fault for not keeping your magic steady!"

"Meh!"

Dashing's ears went flat. "Yeah. Even as a Captain of the Guard they don't pay me a decent salary. So I had to get roommates." The mare rolled her eyes and sighed. "They're alright. I mean, alright for ponies anyway. Doc normally works on his experiments in the basement. Today he's making a machine to unpack all of these boxes. I guess it's supposed to be some type of robot. It'd be great if he could finish it like, you know, today!" She smiled. "But enough about that." Her cheeks flushed. "I'm sure once it's finished we'll never have this problem again! Ace and Brad are, well, you know. They're different. Ace is that criminal from a few years back but she's totally cool now! She's even forgiven me for kicking her flank!"

"You didn't kick my flank!" a female voice exclaimed in the background. "Is that all you vlog about? Why not talk about something interesting! Like working for the princesses!"

"Oh yeah. Working for Princess Celestia and Luna is pretty cool. They're totally gorgeous and even more so up close. There's one problem though: I'm not really needed. I mean, who in their right mind would attack Celestia and Luna?" A pink hoof was raised in the background of the camera. "Oh right. Well, other than the occasional psycho pony there's not much to do around Equestria. The other day I was sent flying around solving petty disputes! That's right! Me! The captain of the guard sent down to figure out if the apple family cart should be where Rarity's dress cart normally goes!" She rolled her eyes. "I'm really good and defusing situations, but that talent should be used for other things! Like pure evil situations! Like talking Discord down!"

"Fluttershy's stare does that now," Ace chimed in.

"Or talking down psycho ponies!"

"Meh. I quit making it rain and cutting up guards a long time ago. It's more fun to torture Brad now."

"Or...." Dashing's voice trailed off. Her ears went down. "...or cleaning up the village square, solving petty arguments, and trying to kick some flank whenever I can. Even if it's something as silly as the cleaning ponies not cleaning Celestia's palace well enough." Dashing sighed.

"Well, there's plenty to do in this place," Ace's voice chimed in. "There's figuring out who's going to cook, figuring out who does what chores, and figuring out anything else that comes up. You're the captain."

"I have to run lazy ponies all the time! I don't want to bring my work home with me!" The black alicorn let out a long sigh. "But I guess you're right. So then let's unpack these boxes!" The camera went out. A few hours later the camera turned back on. Dashing's mohawk wasn't straight anymore. The white and blue hairs slumped downwards. The tall proud alicorn also slumped downwards. The room behind her was black. The boxes were burnt to a crisp. The ponies were no longer behind her but you could hear faint yelling in the other room. Once again Dashing spoke to her viewers.

"So the robot blew up. It took all of the power I had to save the house! Let alone most of the stuff in it! That normally would've been a warm up for me! Sweet mares I'm out of shape!" The alicorn laid her head down on her hoof. "As soon as I logged off last time I came to help with the boxes. We even got a pretty good system going! I used my magic to bring the boxes down and hold up a few items. Brad and Ace took the boxes wherever they needed to go. Then my sweet stallion came up in this mecha thing. I didn't even know one of those could fit in the house! The mecha pony was doing amazing! It was working faster than any of us! So Doc came down to gloat and then all chaos broke loose! It was terrible! Every pony had to run for cover accept me!" She perked up and grinned. "No! I couldn't back down for a fight like that!"

"Accept when it fired it's lasers at you!"

"Shut up Ace!"

Ace cackled in the background. "You should've seen her! Her big flank ran to the other room!"

"Then I cornered the mecha! It was all apart of my plan! Finally the mecha had no choice but to self destruct! BOOM! All over my beautiful glass plates!"

"On the plus side our kitchen area has been expanded into the living room increasing our living area by about twenty percent," a slick voice said. Doctor Cobra appeared. He put a hoof on Dashing's shoulder. "I'd say that makes it twenty percent cooler and efficient. Wouldn't you say so love?"

Dashing looked like she was holding back anger. She looked into the doctor's eyes and began to melt. "Yeah. I'd say so." She nuzzled into the white earth pony's fur. She looked back to the camera. "Now how to end this thing?"

"Dashing Knight flying out for the night!" Brad shouted.

Dashing narrowed her eyes. "No. Night every pony."

The camera died down. Dashing looked at the destruction of the house and sighed. "I hope every pony likes black on black interior." She then realized how easily she blended in to her new surroundings. With a big smile she said, "It just might start feeling like home after all."