It was a cold, windy night even. I was writing this shitty fanfic for no god damn reason other than to make you cringe. Then I went to go watch Obama give a speech of STDs it reminded me as I swiggling my willy to him. Obama reminded me a lot of the ogrelord, Shrek. Shrek was an ogre who tasted like onions and his rapid dildo felt better when used while watching Nicolas Cage scream about bees. Speaking of bees it reminded me about birds, the bird from Twitter which reminded me of another thing.
“Oh No!” I shouted
“I forgot to check GabeN weekly!” I cried
I ran to twitter to then see this file covered Fanfic.exe and then I watched a video of Kim Jong Un but, he told me that not to open what was labeled MyLilAnthro.mov. Then because I saw Bill Cosby’s hyper realistic blood on the screen and he said “I like little children.” Then I suddenly saw a video file named FUCKUWHOREASSNEGROPERIODICPENIS.wmm. I opened it because I am a retard and I have diabeetus. But the video made me throw up as I didn’t realize what was cumming. I realized that the two species in the video were Shrek in Nicolas Cage… I didn’t know how to react so here is a recipe for a delighting cake.
1 bottle of semen 2 and a half gallons of condoms.
And a pinch of 3.141592654
I walked to 7-11 and ordered beef jerkey but I couldn’t get the image of Nicolas Cage out of my head with his sexy eyes and skin. I saw Kanye West fapping as the hobo he was in the middle of the street. I saw him and told him
“LOOK AT MY SKIN COLOR AND TELL ME I DON’T LIKE FRIED CHICKEN”
Yet I didn’t realize he was high on Weed, Cocaine, Crack, STDs, Your mom, not foreshadowing the story, and meth. He pushed me into a small puddle. I cried because I got a boo boo. But this puddle wasn’t an ordinary puddle, this puddle was full of dog shit. But this puddle transported me into a hyper realistic universe. This universe was a universe full of explosions and the yeezus was Michael Bay, I said to him I was an atheist, and a prayed a Richard Dawkins to bring me a snickers, I’m not me when I am hungry. This was a magical chocolate bar as it transported me back to Earth but wait, this wasn’t any ordinary Earth it was the future of Earth where everyone was an ogre, I looked around to then find a movie theater the only movies playing were “The Lord of The Rings XVII (The Shrekening)”, “Shrek 18”, The 3 Retards”, and a documentary of Nicolas Cage… I went up to a donkey and asked
“Big ass milky titties” Donkey knew what I was referring to, so he decided to end up telling our ogrelord, it was Shrek. He grabbed me by the hands raped me and teleported me into another universe yet a major problem was that I am putting filler into this creepyspooky pasta so here is a photo you can masturbate to, http://i.imgur.com/YfyqwcH.png . Suspense builded up as then I looked behind me to see a league of weeaboos, furries, and bronies came to fap at my anime and anthropromorphic animal photos that was in my computer photos, don’t forget this is 15 years later. I looked back at wondered and I thought, What the fuck happened that one second 15 years ago. I opened my youtube account Mr Xd2 to then see I finally got 3.1415 subsorbers, My age at the time was a fetus. I decided to look at my subscriptions to see a new video labled fanfic.exe I clicked it and it was what you would expect from pewdiepie, a video about horses fucking humans, my penis rose. Kim Jong Un came back into his mother and told me.
“The overlord is cumming”
I looked at him and spit at his shoes and shouted in disgust,
“HALF LIFE 3 IS CUMMING SOON! FAGET L0L 420 rekted”
Then I saw that Kim knew I would have said that, By the way my name is xXx42023Br0nyfraget23420xXx. Then what would outstand me is that the overlord, my god of my religion GabeNism rose from the sun, GabeN, I pissed my pants as he touched and squeezed my nipples,
“My Son.” He said
“I did it all along, this was all part of my plan”
“Steam Summer Sales will be fixed, but HL3 will never be released mmk?”
I shit my pants.
“I don’t know GabeN if I could do this” I said
Buy the micro transaction to continue the story.
You didn’t buy it but fuck you and here,
Miyamoto saw gaben and punched him in the eye, he put a triangle path there to falcon punch miyamoto with a crowbar, Miyamoto threw his midget porn at him which got me hard, Sky doesminecrafte came and threw his silver pingas at him this was some serious shit as a spooky scary skeleton jumped out of the closet, you can hear x-files music in this hyper realistic fighting scene. Then in the distance I saw Rainbow Dash, I cummed seeing her in arrival as she shit and pissed in the sky it tasted like cotton candy filling the my mouth, in the sky she wrote hail hitler and 666 in the distance I heard a voice shouting banana, it was my love, my guardian, my lover, my porno, and my baby, Nicolas Cage cumming to save the day. He drank and ate Mountain Dew & Doritos then about 420 seconds later he sharted his pants into the sky blowing up the whole universe, but wut if i em not kil? Time reversed thanks to steven bills compootiser Shrekter360 then handed me the godly quickscopin painis cupcake. I mlg noscoped all three of the clashing gods as they shouted what the hell freaking speed haxor omg get noscerped. About 360420 years later Snoop Doge and Obama walked me on stage marking the day I probably didn’t save the world as we saw Bill Nye use the pelvic thrust I was given the mental retardation reward. Plz do not steal these original characters and fanfiction thanks free toast will be given to all the people who read my best fanfiction tanks.
