Chapters “I... I... I... want... FREEDOM!”
“Quiet down will you? I’m trying to contemplate a fun way to get back at those wretched little ponies for if I ever escape from this ACCURSED STATUE!”
“Haaah... haaah... I will escape this statue and remove myself from this pathetic creature known as you!”
“Slow down there hothead. You’re too destructive and chaotic even for me. If you were ever to escape without me I do believe real problems would be afoot, and quite frankly that wouldn’t be very fun for me to deal with. Hey! Quit that squirming would you? OW! Stop hitting the barriers, that hurts!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH! I can’t take another moment of you!”
In the Canterlot gardens a familiar draconequus statue in a pose of terror laid motionless as usual.
However in Canterlot castle things were a little bit hectic.
“Oh, I hope this isn’t me thinking things up due to excessive stress.”
A white alicorn princess was pacing back and forth anxiously.
“Princess Celestia! We came as soon as we got your letter!”
A lavender unicorn bursted into the room backed by a white unicorn, an orange earth pony, a cyan pegasus with a multicolored mane and tail, a yellow pegasus, and a pink and giggly earth pony.
“Thank goodness you’re here. As you all know Discord is sealed within a statue within the gardens. However as of recent, dark surges have been coming off of his statue erratically.”
“Y’all reckon he’s gonna break free again?”
The pink one retorted to this inquiry.
“But we sealed him up only a few months ago!”
The princess coughed to get their attention.
“I know not the cause behind this strange occurrence, but what I do ask is that you retrieve your Elements of Harmony and accompany me to Discord’s statue.”
In tandem the six ponies agreed, “Alright!”.
The princess took the six to the chamber where the elements were held and undid the magic lock.
“I guarantee that the case actually has the elements this time.”
She lifted the case and opened it before the six and thankfully it had the elements within.
“If you’d all be so kind as to don them and come with me.”
Doing as the princess asked the ponies equipped their elements and followed her to the gardens.
“So is Discord’s statue where it used to be?”
“Yes Twilight. I had it placed where it was previously so it could be checked on regularly.”
In the gardens ahead of the pony group a draconequus statue continued to do what a statue normally does.
“Jeez it is so boring in here. I still don’t know how I managed to do this for over a thousand years!”
“I still can’t understand how I took you for over a thousand years!”
“Temper, Temper. Now I think I remember how I managed to stay at least partly sane.”
Back to the pony group.
“We’re getting close to Discord’s statue. Stay alert everypony!”
Back within the still externally ordinary statue the group's presence was acknowledged.
“Oh look, it’s Good ol’ Celestia. And she brought those party crashers with her!”
“AAAGGGHHH! If I get out of here...!”
“Careful everypony, remember that with Discord anything could happen.”
A simultaneous agreement came from the six.
“What are you doing? OW! Stop that! OW! OW! OWW! That hurts, stop it!”
“We need to be ready just in case he-”
“ESCAPES!”
A hand thrust from the chest of the statue. But it wasn’t a lion’s paw or eagle talon, no this hand looked more draconic, and it was pitch black with a white aura creating an outline on it.
“I... am... FREE!”
The statue exploded and where it once stood was... no, this wasn’t Discord. Its coloration matched that of the hand moments earlier and its body was symmetrical through and through, Two crooked horns that curved almost straight back adorned its head, its eyes were sharp, glaring, and devoid of all color, its face was a constant sneer, and it had its sharp teeth constantly bared, its arms and legs were as draconic as the hand it thrust through the statue, its ears didn’t curve rather they bent down and back at the halfway point, and its tail was reptilian and ended in a sharp blade.
“Who are you?”
“I am The Darkside of Chaos. As thanks for giving me the motivation I needed to escape that horrid prison with that unbearable draconequus, I’ll act as if I had never seen you here and let you live.”
The creature then flew past the ponies at an extreme speed and as the cyan pegasus was about to give chase a familiar but high-pitched voice called out from behind them.
“Wait!”
They all about-faced to see a familiar draconequus, although he wasn’t much larger than a garder snake.
“I don’t think you’ll be able to do much without my help.”
“Discord! How did you get out?”
“Hell-o! My statue just exploded. With it’s absence I am free to do as I please.”
The cyan pegasus shot a series of questions at the draconequus.
“Oh really? And what was that about you helping us? Why would you help us?”
“I never said I would. I just said you wouldn’t get far without it. Saraba!”
He jumped into the air and paused at the apex briefly... and then fell back down on his face.
“Ouch.”
He looked up to see all the ponies had surrounded him.
“This does not bode well.”
He found himself picked up by the alicorn’s magic and held up to her eyes.
“Discord. I believe you owe us an explanation.”
“Why should I tell you anything?”
“If you don’t tell us what we need to know I could easily have Twilight and her friends put you back in that statue.”
She turned him around to the sight of the six mares with their elements at the ready, dimly glowing.
“You could do that but in the process you’d simultaneously doom all of Equestria.”
He knew he had them, as it was their duty to keep Equestria safe.
“And would you so kindly tell us why that’s so?”
“Come on Celestia. I figured you of all ponies would know of my dark side.”
“Your dark side?”
“Yes my dark side. If you’d so kindly put me on the ground I’ll gladly tell you more.”
Having no choice but to heed his request the princess placed the miniature draconequus upon the solid earth which he then sat upon. He patted the ground.
“You should all take a seat. I’ll make it quick.”
“I’m going to tell you a little bit more about tall, dark, and ugly. The one you saw fly off of course, because as you’ve all witnessed he is nowhere near me in terms of beauty.”
The draconequus ran one hand over the back of his head as if it was covered in full, luscious hair.
“Where darkness grows and chaos begins, now born is a new kin-”
“Dispense of the riddles!”
“Fine, fine! So boring.”
He didn’t like being told how to tell his story, but he had no choice considering he no longer had access to his powers and he wasn't exactly an intimidating size.
“Now as I was saying. That thing that broke us out was actually the other side of me. My little dark side, although he isn’t so little anymore.”
The cyan pegasus spoke up.
“We noticed.”
“Don’t interrupt me!”
He placed a pondering index claw on his chin.
“Where was I?”
A metaphorical light bulb illuminated above his head.
“Ah yes, You see whenever something angers me or I end up hating something or the like, I passed those emotions off to my dark side, and he doesn’t forget them. You do know that trapping someone in a statue can really tick them off, right!? And do you know what I hate most? NOT BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING!”
He glared at the alicorn who sheepishly avoided his gaze.
“Discord. The first time Luna and I had no choice. You were far too chaotic!”
“Ah yes, the good old days when I ruled Equestria. But then there was a few months ago.”
The draconequus turned and shot a menacing glare at the six ponies.
“Discord, are you saying we’re responsible for this?”
“In a way, yes. Yes you are. But it wasn’t just you, it was also those ACCURSED ELEMENTS!”
He pointed at each of the elements the six wore.
“Too bad they won’t help you much this time.”
“We’ll see about that!”
“If your minds are set on failure be my guests, but if you want my advice Darky’s probably on the second floor of the castle blowing holes in the walls or something.”
“You heard him everypony! To the castle!”
“Woah now, y’all sure Discord’s the best fella to be takin’ advice from?”
“It’s the only lead we have on stopping that psycho!”
“Well, when you put it that way, I guess we should get goin’.”
As the six wielders of the elements ran off the draconequus looked up to the princess.
“You know as well I do that they’re gonna fail miserably, right?”
“That may be so, but I can hope for better. Good luck my little ponies.”
Inside the castle the six ponies were now entering the entrance hall.
“Alright, we gotta head up to the second floor and see if Discord was telling the truth!”
“Okie-dokie!”
As they ascended the steps they all noticed something was amiss.
“My, this castle has certainly seen better days hasn’t it?”
On the second floor almost everything had at least one hole in it, was broken and lying on the floor, or generally unrecognizable due to damage, and the floor was riddled with holes.
“What happened here?”
“It looks one wild party went down!”
“I don’t think any party could’ve been th-this bad.”
“Parties? Ha! Forget about partying, I’m more interested in the destructive aftermath!”
“Brace yourselves everypony!”
They all took combat stances and on the other side of the room from the largest hole emerged the creature they were looking for, although it was much larger, so large that its horns scraped against the ceiling.
“Who dares oppose me!?”
It lowered its gaze and noticed the six.
“Oh. It’s just you.”
It raised its right arm, breaking it through the floor, and held it out so that its fingers pierced through the wall. It then raised the blade of its tail just enough through the floor for the tip to be jutting out, it then began walking towards the ponies through the floor leaving massive destruction in its wake as pieces of the floor, wall, and ceiling fell as structural integrity was being lost. It stopped in front of the ponies and lowered its head to meet their gaze.
“Do you think you can stop me? Oh, what’s this?”
It acknowledged the elements that they wore. It broke its other hand up through the floor and daintily lifted the element of magic off of the leading unicorn’s head and shook it around a little before just letting it go and land wherever, which was almost through a hole in the floor next to its owner who then picked it up and reequipped it.
“So... you think these are enough to take me down?”
“The Elements of Harmony have never failed us!”
“Is that so?”
It began laughing to itself triumphantly.
“You’re going down whatever your name is!”
The creature backed up as the six mares activated the elements and fired them at it full blast. A layer of stone began covering the creature as its movements were rapidly slowing to a complete halt. Then like that the creature was no longer animate and a statue like Discord was.
“I don’t see why Discord made such a big fuss over this guy.”
“Yeah, he didn’t take as much as he was made out to take.”
“Let’s go report this back to princess. She’ll be glad to hear it’s over.”
The heroes removed their elements and began walking out of the room. At that point, unnoticed by the ponies, the eyes of the statue flashed and pieces of stone began chipping off quickly.
“HuuuuuuuuAAAAAAAAA!”
The creature’s voice boomed throughout the room.
“What!?”
They about-faced to find the creature no longer encased in stone and was now thrashing about breaking whatever was left of anything around it, the walls, floor, and ceiling, nothing within its arms reach was safe from its flailing body. It then stopped thrashing and locked its gaze upon the six ponies.
“I’ll take those!”
It thrust its arm forward and a pulse came from it, causing the now unequipped elements to float to it and it grabbed them once they were within arms reach. It then threw the elements out through one of the inexistent walls which was followed by a bright flash of light and the sound of an explosion.
“I was going to let you live, but now...”
The floor beneath them melted away and all but the pink one fell through. The pink pony looked down and realized she was standing on air. She gasped and then fell.
“...NOW YOU DIE!”
Not bothering to check if its attempt on their lives succeeded it chuckled to itself.
“Now that those nuisances are gone I think I’ll go see what the rest of this world has to offer for me to destroy.”
It hoisted itself up onto what remained of the floor and shrunk itself down to normal draconequus size while doing so, brushed itself off, and flew away.
The ponies screamed as they were falling towards a floor that seemed to extend further away the longer they fell.
“The floor’s not gonna stretch away forever, he’s trying to kill us with this fall!”
“Come on Fluttershy! We need to take action!”
“O-okay!”
The two pegasi spread their wings to stabilize their fall and they flew to catch the earth ponies. The unicorns, unable to be assisted by the pegasi had to think of a way to save themselves.
“Twilight darling, if there was ever a time for you to have an idea, now would be one of those times!”
“I’m trying to think.”
“The ground’s starting to look awfully large!”
“Aha! Rarity! Let’s combine our magic! Just follow my lead!”
“Alright!”
The unicorns both activated their magic and enveloped each other with a magical aura.
“Alright now, LIFT!”
Using all of their magical might, the two lifted against the force of gravity, but not hard enough to prevent themselves from becoming removable decor at this rate.
“Twilight!”
“I know! Keep pulling!”
Despite their best efforts they were still going too fast.
“Looks like this is it, huh?”
“I guess so...”
They closed their eyes and waited for the end.
And they waited.
It never came.
“Huh...?”
“What?”
They opened their eyes to find themselves floating just above the ground.
“We’re... alive?”
A third aura was covering them, a golden aura.
“Huh... hah... hoo... Thank goodness... you’re ok.”
It was the princess and she was gasping as she gently placed the unicorns on the floor.
“Whoo... I need to... I need to sit down.”
“You really need to exercise more often Celestia. That was only a twelve second sprint.”
“Celestia and Discord? Working together? Did I miss something?”
The cyan pegasus was baffled by the thought. The draconequus then leapt out from the princess’s tail.
“Oh please Rainbow Dash, given the current flow of events did you think that was entirely out of the realm of possibility?”
The pegasi released the ponies they held on the floor and then splayed themselves out on the floor to rest.
“Actually it... it was Discord... who sug... who suggested we come in here to assist you.”
“You make it sound like I wanted to help them, all I merely said was ‘You know if you want to stop them from falling to their deaths you should probably head in as quick as you can’ she then got this priceless look on her face before almost leaving me in the garden. I had to jump in her tail so as to not get left behind!”
The lavender unicorn approached him.
“So Rarity and I have you to thank for being alive right now?”
“Please, don’t mention it. Seriously, don’t mention it to anyone. Ever.”
The princess looked at the group of mares and noticed the elements were absent.
“Girls, where are the Elements of Harmony?”
They all looked to the ground.
“That... thing destroyed them.”
The orange one spoke first and the princess replied, “How is that possible?”.
The lavender one was next to speak.
“We hit him with the elements as hard as possible and he was turned to stone, so we figured he was done for. So we removed the elements and began leaving the room, but as soon as our backs were turned he was already free and in a frenzy, smashing everything around him. When he stopped he used some... force to take the elements from us and threw them away and blew them up!”
“He then used his nasty powers to take out the floor beneath us, and after that is when you came in!”
The draconequus spoke up.
“So my suspicions were correct.”
“What are you talkin’ about Discord?”
“Let me explain this as simply as possible. Chaos and order two are sides of the same coin, you can’t have one without the other. Now Darky, lets call him Chaos for the time being, is almost entirely comprised of chaos with just enough harmony within him to keep his form stable. The Elements of Harmony, in layman’s terms, generate order when in use and that’s only when in use. Now if you were to combine both forces in equal amounts it generates neutral. The elements are capable of generating as much order as he is chaos.”
The lavender one inquired.
“But wouldn’t that mean he’d be neutralized?”
“Yes, but as I said they only produced order while active. Once you deactivated the elements, his chaotic energy began overpowering the harmonic energy around him, allowing him to break free of his imprisonment .
“Then why weren’t you able to break free Discord?”
The princess inquired of the draconequus.
“I create chaos. I’m not made of chaos.”
The lavender unicorn pieced this together aloud.
“So what you’re saying is since Chaos is comprised of chaos the Elements of Harmony are only capable of briefly stunning him. So how do we stop him?”
The draconequus sighed.
“I’m going to tell you now in case you haven’t figured it out. I no longer have access to my powers, Chaos took them when he broke free, this in turn made him an even more chaotic being.”
“Sooooo that means what exactly?”
The cyan pegasus asked, lost as to the point he was getting at.
“It means he’s at dangerously high chaos levels.”
“And?”
“What do you think would happen if you were to apply more chaos to his being?”
“OH! OH! OH! I KNOW! I KNOW! It’s like when you eat too much and you just wanna take that last bite of cake but you’re all like, ‘No you’ve had too much and you’re full. You can’t eat that!’ and then you argue with yourself like, ‘Come on. Just another bite!’ am I close?”
Everyone just stared speechless, and the draconequus was the first to break the silence.
“Uhhh... Never mind. That actually serves as a surprisingly effective comparison to the results.”
“So what y’all are sayin’ is if we were to put more chaos energy into, uh Chaos, it would over-fill em’?”
“That is exactly what I’m getting at Applejack. But that alone wouldn’t finish the job.”
“And what else, pray tell, would we need?”
“I would need to make physical contact.”
The timid pegasus spoke for the first time since the conversation began.
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
The princess broke into the conversation.
“Discord. How do you expect them to produce chaos energy?”
“Simple my dear Celestia.”
He made a sly grin and put his hands together in front of his face.
“We’re going to need... the Elements of Disharmony.”
I just wanted some sleep!
Everyone in the room gave the draconequus a confused look.
“The Elements of Disharmony? That sounds like some sort of cheap knockoff of the Elements of Harmony.”
The cyan pegasus spoke out.
“You’d think that, wouldn’t you Rainbow Dash?”
He turned around and held up held up the index finger of his paw hand.
“But that’s not the case at all. You see I made the Elements of Disharmony immediately after I escaped a few months ago as a countermeasure against the Elements of Harmony if they were to be used against me. But as you witnessed firsthand my confidence got the better of me.”
He slouched and groaned as he recalled that unsavory memory. The alicorn princess looked down to him and asked, “Do you know their whereabouts?”.
“Of course I know! The problem is getting them.”
The white unicorn asked, “How so?”.
He sighed.
“You see... I kinda hid them all over the place. But you can take reprieve in the fact that they’re not far from Ponyville.”
“Well that’s convenient.” the lavender unicorn sarcastically remarked.
“If you want convenience the closest one is out in the gardens.”
“Wow! That is convenient!”
The former god of chaos looked up to the alicorn.
“Mind if I hitch a ride again?”
“As much as it bothers me to say this, I will. We need your help to save Equestria from certain destruction.”
She lowered her head for him to climb her mane, which he did. He then lied down on her back.
“Ready when you are.”
She looked back to him and nodded.
“Alright. Girls come with us to the gardens.”
They all agreed and followed the regal mare and her newly acquired passenger out of the ruined castle. As they walked to the gardens they struck up a conversation.
“So Discord, why are ya helpin’ us?”
“Well primarily it’s because I want my powers back.”
“Is that your only reason?” the yellow pegasus asked as she floated above him and to the side.
“Not really. I also really dislike Chaos.”
They all gave him a confused look and an awkward silence fell.
“My dark side.”
“Oh.”
They all exclaimed as their previous interpretation of his statement was cleared from mind.
“Anyways I just don’t like him. He’s no fun at all. It’s always ‘BREAK THIS, DESTROY THAT!’.” he finished whilst doing his best vocal impersonation of Chaos which was pretty accurate but not as deep and gruff as the target voice, “I just don’t see the fun in his ways. You could say where I would fill a pie with hot sauce, he would light it on fire while somepony was eating it! The effects are similar yes, you still get a burning sensation in your mouth either way, but using fire over hot sauce would leave a much more permanent mark and is far more destructive.”.
“So what you’re saying is he is chaotic, but in the sense that he’s destructive?”
“That is indeed what I’m saying Rarity.”
The princess stopped in her tracks and her entourage followed suit.
“Celestia, would you mind explaining why you stopped all of a sudden?”
The draconequus inquired of the white alicorn and she looked back to him.
“You never told us where in the gardens the first element was.”
“Oh yeah. I didn’t did I? Just go to where my statue was, I can show you from there.” he said as he laid back down and waved his hand in the air in a “Get moving” fashion.
“Thank you. Now let’s get going.”
As they continued their march to the gardens the draconequus decided to take a nap to pass the time.
“Hey Discord!”
The pink one interrupted the draconequus’ nap.
“Yes, Pinkie?”
“Why are you so teeny-tiny right now?”
“I honestly don’t know Pinkie. But if I had to guess, it’s because I don’t have any powers right now.” he sighed and held his hand straight out before his face looked it over back and palm multiple times, “No powers, and I’m smaller than a foal. Isn’t this just wonderful?” he closed his eyes continued to nap.
“Um, Discord...” a voice faintly registered in his ears, “Excuse me...” it got slightly louder, “Are you still asleep?”.
“Who’s bothering me?” he thought to himself as the voice got slightly louder.
“Please wake up.” he felt someone gently shaking him which roused him from his slumber, “Ah, your awake.”.
“No thanks to you.” he rubbed his eyes irritated.
“Sorry...” it was the timid pegasus, “... but what you said earlier has been nagging at me a bit.”.
“What is it Fluttershy?” he asked annoyed.
“You said Celestia was sprinting for twelve seconds.”
“And?”
“Well I’m not certain how fast she can run, but I doubt she could run from your statue to the castle’s entry hall in twelve seconds.”
The princess looked back at her.
“Of course I can’t run that fast. We were already walking back there for a short while by the time Discord gave me that advice.”
The pegasus looked at her.
“Oh, that explains a lot. Thanks.”
“Now if you’ll excuse I have some beauty sleep to catch up on. The next time I wake up we’d best be at my statue’s former standing place.” with that statement he went back to sleep.
Sitting in a hot air balloon miles above the world’s surface was a familiar draconequus returned to his former size.
“This should be fun! A little skydiving is just what I needed!”
He lowered the goggles he had so they covered his eyes and put on his parachute.
“Everything’s ready! Let’s get this show on the road!”
He bent his knees and arched his back as he prepared to dive.
“Three... two... one... GO!”
He leapt from the balloon and reoriented himself to maximize his air resistance as the sound of rushing wind continually graced his ears and the wind chill seeped through his fur.
“What a view! This is definitely a plus to skydiving!”
He looked out at the setting sun as it cast it’s orange glow on the world below.
“Such beauty, such tranquility!”
He raised a questioning brow as he realized what he just said.
“Wait a second. Tranquility? Why would I be interested in that? Now that I think about it, how did I get here?”
He looked around to see the continually growing world beneath him get ever closer.
“Wasn’t I in Canterlot a few moments ago?”
He rubbed his chin in ponder. He then snapped his fingers.
“I know! I must be dreaming! Well no one ever gets hurt in dreams!”
He lowered his angle so he was now nose-diving.
“What a rush!”
As he approached the world at ever rising speeds he thought to himself, “Even if no one gets hurt in dreams I should probably open my parachute now.”
He grabbed the pull cord to his parachute and he expected to slow down.
But the truth was quite the opposite. He felt something tug at his back towards the ground and he found himself now falling towards the ground back first.
“What?!”
He looked up, or in this case down to see where there should have been a parachute was instead an anvil with “2 TONS” written and clearly visible on top.
“OH COME ON!”
He looked to the skies and closed his eyes.
“Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up!”
He opened his eyes and saw that he was still falling. He looked down to the ground to see it seconds away.
“I withdraw my previous statement. You can get hurt in dreams.”
He closed his eyes and waited.
“AHHHH!”
The draconequus screamed in pain as his eyes shot open and he landed on a small, round rock back first.
“Sorry about that Discord. You just wouldn’t wake up so I had to shake you off. I didn’t notice that rock though.”
“OH YEOWCH THAT HURTS!”
He rolled off the rock holding his back and groaning in pain.
The cyan pegasus mumbled to herself, “Didn’t notice the rock my flank. You looked right at it before shaking him off.”
“Aghh!”
The draconequus pressed on his back as he stood up and a highly noticeable cracking noise could be heard. He then continued to rub his back to help ease the pain and stiffness.
“That was uncalled for!”
He shouted at the princess who merely replied with, “But at least you’re awake now.”
He grumbled to himself while still rubbing his back, “Are we there?”
The alicorn gave him a reassuring nod.
“Yes Discord. That rock was actually most likely part of your statue.”
“Good, good. Now if... you’ll excuse me... I have to remember where I buried the element.”
He paused at every other step with the limp he now possessed. He found a twig on the ground and used his tail to pick it up and place it in his left hand for use as a cane.
After a number of slow steps that were only observed by the pony group he reached the scorch mark on the ground where his statue once stood and turned towards what remained of the castle and looked around at the ground.
“What exactly are ya doin’?”
“Quiet! I’m thinking here.”
Alright Discord. You were standing here when you were a statue. You broke free and made the Elements of Disharmony and decided to scatter them. You then decided that it would be best to keep one close. So where would I put it if I wanted it close by?
He looked to his right hand which seemed to automatically point on its own accord a short distance away from him, “Of course! Right next to me.”
He hobbled over to where his hand pointed and began to slowly draw a circle in the dirt with his stick about eight inches across across. When he finished he stepped out of the circle and pointed down to it and said, “Get digging.”
“What?!”
“Don’t blame me for having to get dirty. I’d dig it up myself if my back wasn’t killing me right now!”
He pressed his free hand against his back and a small crack could be heard. The white unicorn turned her head away in disgust, “I refuse to do any such thing! Applejack, you do it!”
“Sure.”
Immediately the orange farmhand began digging into the dirt circle, leaving a few small piles of turned up soil around it.
After digging a few inches she stopped to ask, “How far down is it?”
The draconequus made a casual glance down at the hole, “A little further.”
“Awright.” she continued to dig deeper until she hit something really solid, solid enough to bounce her hoof back, “What the?”
The former god of chaos motioned her aside as he slowly slid down the side of the hole, “Alright now step aside everypony. I got it.” he prodded around the edges of it with his makeshift cane to loosen up the dirt around it. After what felt like a few minutes of this he jammed his foot underneath the red-orange gem that was slowly emerging from the dirt and pried it out, almost falling over in the process. He threaded his tail through one of the openings in the gem to pick it up. It looked an earth pony crying in pain, “Here we go. Now to climb out of this... hole.” his shoulders went limp as he realized he just trapped himself in the chest-deep hole, “Could somepony help me out here? I’m sorta stuck.” he attempted to climb out as the ponies stared at him.
You should have expected this Discord. He thought as he continued to struggle in his attempt to climb out. Perfect! Just perfect! You’re stuck in a hole and and they do is stare at you! In his mental outrage he failed to notice that he was slowly being pushed out of the hole until he fell forward on his chest, “Ow. Hey I’m out!” he then felt a hoof slowly rub his back, “Are you alright?”
It was the voice of the yellow pegasus.
“More thankful than okay.”
She then suddenly pressed down uncomfortably hard and his back made yet another cracking noise, “Owwoooww that actually feels pretty good.” he felt the stiffness and pain in his back swiftly disappear as she gave him what he would describe as the most surprisingly pleasant massage ever, “There you go Discord. Your back shouldn’t hurt as much anymore.”
Her statement was proven correct when he sprung to his feet and began stretching, “Are you kidding? It’s never felt this good EVER!” he would done a jig if he wasn’t interrupted by the alicorn.
“Is that the Element of Disharmony?”
“Huh? Oh yes. Yes it is.”
“Then shouldn’t we continue looking for the other five?”
He gave her a look that said, “What?” he then nodded to himself remembering that she knew nothing about them, “Riiiiight. That won’t be necessary. Plus there are more than six total.”
She raised an eyebrow, “Really now?”
“Oh yes. The Elements of Disharmony can be used individually, and there are eight in total: Pain, anger, sadness, chaos, lies, greed, quarrel, and betrayal.” he took the gem from his tail with his right hand and held it towards the sun, “And this right here is the Element of Pain!” he took a closer look at the gem and squinted, “Wait a sec... this thing’s not even charged!”
The lavender unicorn spoke up with a hint of distress, “What do you mean ‘not charged’?!”
“I mean even if I did have them before I was previously sealed they would have been no use!”
Everyone gasped and spoke in tandem, “You’re saying that we can’t use them?!”
“Now now don’t fret everypony. We just need to charge them.”
The princess looked at the pint-sized being.
“Charge them? How would one go about charging elements?”
“I’m just gonna throw this out there. I made up the name “Elements of Disharmony” on the spot. They’re not actually elements as per se.”
“That still doesn’t answer the question of “How do we charge them?”.”
He looked at the gem, then back to the ponies, “Well for this one... anypony mind getting kicked in the gut multiple times? Yes? Well then I guess we need to find someone already in pain.”
The white unicorn pieced this together rather quick, “So what you’re saying is that each element can be charged by their respective namesakes?”
“Indeed that is the case young miss Rarity.”
Suddenly the sound of a massive explosion and screaming filled the air. And it’s direction of origin was... from Ponyville.