The Whims of Royalty
Written by Codename: “Dauthdr”
He had to hurry. Though his armor could not be torn by any force, Dauthdr's soft flesh underneath was perfectly susceptible to his pursuer. “Land there”, he commanded, pointing at the statues in Princess Celestia's garden.
Landing, Dauthdr dismounted and immediately began walking towards the statue in the very center of the garden. He ignored his mask as it fell off his faced, shattering on the ground. The chains in his hands were glowing faintly, though looking at them made Princess Luna sick. The way they bound to her, the way they wrapped around her legs, neck, and waist. And the chaffing was terrible, she could feel the chain as it ripped open her skin more and more. “What are we doing here?” she forced herself to speak, hoping to detain him long enough that her sister could catch up, though she noted that her nausea felt worse when her mouth was open.
“Why, I am simply using the chains around you, as well as the other jewels I enchanted today, to free my master.” He stopped and turned to answer her.
“Who is you're master? Who could possibly keep you and Echo under control?”
“Why, don't you know?” The flicker of amusement on Dauthdr's face told Luna that he knew what she was up to, and was not only mocking her, but declaring his victory. “After all, you did serve him, until he killed your mother.”
“No!”, she gasped. “Impossible! You're insane!”
“Yes, and so is our master. Surely you saw this coming? After all, these chains that bind you are the Element of Avarice. You see, mankind and ponykind have never known any enemy greater than the greed of their own heart.” His mocking voice was getting to her.
“You two faced, backstabbing, son of a bitch! How dare you -”. Luna was cut off as a tug on the chains magically sealed her lips together.
“Quiet. The eclipse is starting, and so must the ritual."
»Chapter 1»
Note from the author:
So, I decided to reboot the story. Hopefully, it does much better than last time.
Paru
Whim 1
The first thing on his mind was water. Having been magically kept alive, despite lack of sustenance, he surely would have killed himself if he had the chance. But, ever since the War of Trans-Science, very few humans had the ability to die at all. Though the fertility rate was much lower than the era before the war, the artificial longevity of humans had allowed the worldwide population to grow at a slow, but steady rate. But this is not the story of how the science wielding A.E.G.I.S. and the magically supported D.E.M.O.N. had been defeated by L.I.C.H.E., who had mixed magic and science to create “trans-science”. No, this is the story of the effects of this war.
The first thing on his mind was water. The second was getting as far away from the prison he had escaped from three days prior, though he was one of the last humans in the world. His solitude was the result of a different war which, though the human race was nearly wiped out, his prison did not allow him to participate, allowing him a longer life. Of course, having been isolated from the demise of mankind, he could not be expected to know why he hadn't seen any humans in what was supposed to be the most densely populated city in the Kingdom of Keish-Fanda. This poor fool who wove his cloak from the grass surrounding his prison to hide the fact that he was imprisoned without clothing.
He's not as much of a fool as I make him seem, however. He was just a very important piece in my plan. It's an interesting plan; full of romance, death, and betrayal. You've already seen part of this plan, Princesses, but would you like to hear it's entirety? I've been working on it for several millennia; I am quite proud of it. Although, I think I'll skip ahead a bit, I don't think anypony wants to hear the details about a man walking for three days straight.
To his left stood a forest. The trees were planted in neat little rows, very unnatural, an obvious sign of civilization. Under normal circumstances, he would have fled from any sign of civilization, he was an outlaw after all. However, due to circumstances I will discuss later, he had walked for three days for this specific apple orchard. Entering the orchard, he began muttering to himself the first thought on his mind.
“Paru. Paru se tala.” He started walking towards the closest tree. A pale red aura appeared around his hands and feet as he began climbing the tree without any regard for handholds and footholds. A simple adhesion spell taught to humans at a young age, skillfully applied to allow him to climb. Reaching the top, he began grabbing apple after apple and scarfing them down. The only limitation to his speed was how fast he could chew enough to swallow before filling his mouth again, even eating the core. His thirst satiated after these years of imprisonment longer than my very existence, he fell asleep in that tree, hidden by the leaves from the mare who – as was her wont during applebuck season – bucked the very tree he was in. Needless to say, Applejack Apple was very surprised when a man fell into her bucket.
When the man awoke, he found himself beneath a heavy blanket on a soft couch with a cool, wet towel on his forehead. Sitting up to look around, this man found a homely room devoid of any life but himself and a small brown owl sitting on a windowsill. The moment he and the owl met eyes, the owl flew off into a midday sun.
The man had tanned, muscled skin, revealing a past of physical fitness that his race had no longer thought necessary. His long black hair, matted and greasy, fell in front of his face, nearly blocking all vision. Feeling it would be easier than trying to untangle, he raised his hands to his hair. His hands glowing a pale red once again, his hair began falling from his head leaving nothing but a smooth stubble. After shaving himself, his hands stopped glowing, then resumed their glow (any magician would know that this usually meant a change in spell) as his severed hair began to vanish in a puff of smoke. His face, now completely unobstructed, contained silver eyes which showed a deep, deep pain, long rooted in this fool's past. After shaving and dissolving his beard (also long, greasy, and matted), he got up, noticed that he no longer had his grass cloak, and grabbed the blanket just in time to preserve his modesty from three ponies barging into the room.
For the sake of convenience, since this only happened a few years ago, I'll tell you that these ponies were, in the order they entered the room, Twilight Sparkle, Applebloom, and Applejack Apple. "Heya ma donde?", the man asked.
"So, yer awake now, huh?" Applejack responded. "Mind tellin' us what you were doin' in one o' my trees?
"Donde gel senka itsa. Patzen ma krek?"
"Uh, Twilight, he's speakin' funny..."
"Well, no." Twilight began. "He's a human. We speak English, a language the humans abandoned long ago. He speaks some other language ponies have abandoned. I'm lucky to have a few books in this language in my library, but I never got around to reading them."
"Well, that's all fine and dandy, but what in the hay's a 'hyu-mahn'?"
At this point, Applebloom jumped up, yelling "I know what humans are! They told us about them last year in history class!"
"Then you should count yer blessin's. When I was younger 'n you, I had to drop out of school to help out on the farm", Applejack explained. "So, what's a 'hyu-mahn'?"
"Humans are the critters who are rumored to have given cutie marks n' magic n' talkin' to us ponyfolk. Ah was really interested, so Ah read a book 'bout their language n' culture, n' Ah memorized a few things. Like this", Applebloom said, turning to the man. "Donde ma Applebloom!"
"Muley ma A-pull-blume?"
"Eet!" the filly squealed. Pointing at Applejack and Twilight, she continued "Deka ma Applejack den Twilight Sparkle!"
"Ah-pull-jak den Twa-ee-lite Spar-kal?"
"Eet!" Applebloom then asked "Muley ma nass?"
"Donde ma Alekyen!" Was the mans answer.
"Well, his names Aley-kyen." Applebloom told the others.
«Pilot« »Chapter 1 ⅓»
Dictionary
*Note: Although the words may mean one thing, culture may assign a different meaning to certain words or phrases. Two examples in English are the use of "sick" or "insane" to positively describe something, and the phrase "playing with [insert name]" as a sexual innuendo. For that reason, I will provide a literal and colloquial translation. Also, in Patzen, the word "donde" (me) is used every time someone refers to them self, unless they are speaking in third-person.
Patzen to English
Deka ma (insert name) - This is (insert name)
Donde gel senka itsa - "I don't understand" (literally; "I know not")
Donde ma (insert name) - "I am (insert name)", (literally; I is (insert name))
Muley ma (insert name)? - "You are (insert name)", (literally; (the person I am talking to) is (insert name)?)
Muley ma nass? - Who are you? (literally; "You is who?")
Paru – "Apple".
Keish-Fanda – The capital of the 31 Kingdoms of the L.I.C.H.E. empire. The name consists of "keish" ("human") and "fanda" ("heart").
Paru se tala – "There is water in the apple" (literally; “apple holds water”).
Patzen ma krek? – "What language are you speaking?" (literally "language is what?"). The name for the language is "Patzen", which means language.
Heya ma donde? – "Where am I?" (literally "where is me?").
Den - And
"And" and "Or" are used like binary "and" and "or". If Applebloom said "This is Applejack and this is Rarity", we would only consider the statement partially true. However, because of the word "and", Alekyen would consider the entire statement false. If Applebloom had said "This is Applejack or this is Rarity", Alekyen would consider the statement true, while we would tell Applebloom to speak properly.
Eet - The statement previously stated is true
It is usually used to mean "yes", but sometimes used where an English speaker would say "no". If someone asked if you wanted cake, you would say "yes" (or at least I would), but if someone asked "don't you want some cake?", you would say "yes", meaning "I would like some cake". On the other hand, saying "Eet" would mean you don't want cake.
Returned
Whim 1.333
"Is it true? Has he returned?"
In the great desert wastelands to the north of Ponyville, diamond dogs everywhere gathered to confirm this single rumor. Despite a millennium of fighting, the many clans of their species still gathered here on this day. Oh, you want to know what day specifically? It was the exact same day that Alekyen awoke in Applejack Apple's bed. In fact, that was when you first heard the rumor, wasn't it? It's funny how these things work out. Or, that's what I would be saying if I didn't have a hoof in this.
"I hope he'll bring us lots of jewels."
"You idiot, we already ate his jewels. If he is back he'll probably kill a bunch of us. If he's even real."
"Of course he's real, you Netia moron!"
"Hey, keep you mouth shut, Plemac!"
Such arguments had broken out throughout the gathering. There is no such thing as peace amongst diamond dogs.
On and on the fighting went. Dogs from the vicious Stunder Clan pulled knives out and began stabbing anyone who came near. The Inastadia dug holes so quickly, even the althletic Plemac Clan broke a few bones. And these are only four clans I've mentioned. There are thousands. Most, only a few months old; a young dog didn't like the way their clan did business and decided to make a new clan. So, while the Stunders were stabbing, the Kallmans were whacking, and the Netia were raping in one small corner of the camp, there were hundreds of similar, if not identical, fights spread throughout.
"Donde ma — what is that, 'frishno? Am I saying that right?"
"Ummm.... no... That's 'frikno'... that little, uhh, that little tick there goes down, not up..."
When Twilight Sparkle started to learn the Patzen language, she was doing great! Her grammar was excellent, her pronounciation was perfect... her only problem was writing.
"Augh! I'll never get this thing memorized! It's all just random lines everywhere!" Twilight complained.
"Don't... ahem... don't worry. When I f-first started learning your l-letters, they looked like r-random lines to m-me.It g-gets easier with t-t-time. Trust me. I do kn-know over f-fifteen hundred l-languages, "Alekyen consoled.
"What was that?"
"W-what was what?"
"That stutter."
"W-what stutter?" Noticing he stuttered, Alekyen quickly turned away.
"That one there." Twilight thought before asking "Was it something I said?"
"Ummm..."
"Tell me!"
"Jak'n," Alekyen swore.
Back at the wastelands, the diamond dogs had quickly been reduced to a river of blood. And that was before he arrived. There wasn't a single hair on him; no mane, no tail, not even an eyelash. If a diamond dog got in his way, he would gently brush them aside. Or, rather, he would make the motion of gently pushing him aside. The actual force in the motion would send the dog flying. Any diamond dog who saw him did whatever they could to get out of his way, then bowed. By the time he had reached the center of the crowd, each dog had his face as close to the bloody lake as they could stand. They all immediately recognized his pitch black flesh, his cruel red eyes, his thick three ringed horn. They recognized his manacles cutie mark. The recognized a stallion who, until that moment, was nothing more than a rumor.
Looking around, as though he had just noticed he was standing in half a foot of blood, he spoke to the air itself. "If my private stores aren't replenished by sundown, I will kill half of you here."
One diamond dog approached. "My lord, we have split and separated in many directions. But with your return, all diamond dogs will unite once more."
"I know what happened to my empire." With those words, the pony lunged, sinking his teeth into the dog's neck. Tearing the head off, the unicorn continued. "I will count to ten. If you haven't moved by then, I will kill ten more." The diamond dogs began rising and wandering off, searching to restore their masterls "private stores". However, there were those who didn't move; some were too scared, others were in reverence to the only creature who could unite the thousands of diamond dog clans with a single sentence. "You won't move? Fine."
A black aura emitted from the unicorn's horn. Reaching his aura towards the ten nearest dogs, the stallion said "Ten". Each of the selected dogs died a different, equally gruesome, equally painful death. One, at the end of it, was dried of all liquids, while another had his skull removed from his head through his nose and was beaten with it. That particular diamond dog's last words were "this doesn't seem physically possible!"
The effect was immediate. Even if the unicorn counted to ten again, even in his unique way, he wouldn't have had any more dogs to kill. Satisfied, he bent down low and began drinking.
"Sorry to interrupt your story, but I fail to see the importance in being told what my intelligence sources already know."
"Luna, I am merely showing the events as they happened. In other words; I am showing how each event is connected. Tell me, can you think of any reason Twilight would have stopped learning the Patzen language?"
"Just one; if something embarrassing happened. The only time Twilight Sparkle tried skipping my classes was when it came time to teach her about the, uh, birds and the bees."
"The word Twilight was trying to say, 'frikno', meant purple. 'Donde ma frikno' means 'I am purple'. On the other hoof, 'Donde ma frishno' means 'I am horny'. Quite a mistake, if you ask me."
"But what does that have to do with — "
"If Twilight had continued learning Patzen, she would have read books from the Canterlot library that even you two haven't been able to read. Books that only one pony has read since the downfall of the human race. Books that reveal Alekyen's troubled past. If she read even one of them, none of this could have been possible."
"Is Alekyen really that important to these plans? Why couldn't you have used anypony else?
"Because of Echo. Alekyen was the only reason Echo — "
"Precisely. Now, it you'll please, I would like to continue my story."
«Chapter 1«
