It was quiet as I walked through the area. There were no birds singing, no insects chirping; nothing except the shifting grass beneath my feet and those of my daughters’, Apple Punch and Macareina Pie. The quietness was to be expected in a place like this; happiness, joy, and laughter avoided places like this, the Ponyville Cemetery. Even I was different as I walked amongst the graves making my way to my destination. The usual bounce in my step was gone, my bright shining smile was now a calm motherly small, and the puffiness of my hair was gone as my pink hair went slack and straight. I was no longer the one ponies knew as Pinkie Pie or Pinkie Apple. I was now Pinkamena Diane and I was here to visit the grave of my mother, Cloudy Quartz, for the first time.
I suppose it is my own fault, really. Not that my mother died, she was old and had lived a very hard life. My mother passed when my daughters were seven and now they are thirteen. For six years I tried to avoid coming here, I thought I had dealt with all of my feelings towards my mother. Turns out avoiding isn’t the same as dealing with. I know that my actions would surprise many as I usually tell others to confront their problems head on, but it’s different with mom.
My mother and I couldn’t have been more different. Out of my three sisters and myself I was the least like my parents, but at least I could see my father’s work ethic in my own. We both gave our best at our jobs; whether it was smashing boulders or planning parties we didn’t allow our work to be second rate. When it came to mom and me, the only thing we had in common was being female. Mom was tall and skinny, I was short and a little plump. Mom’s coat was a light gray and her mane was a darker gray, both my coat and mane were light pink and a slightly darker pink. Mom had a no nonsense attitude and was serious 98% of the time, I could find the humor in nearly everything and was serious only when it was called for.
Despite all of these differences, mom and I still had a few good moments. I was the only one who learned the secret of her special hot sauce when I proved I could handle it. Mom would act in plays from time to time, just as I enjoyed doing as well. I was also the only one to make mom laugh so hard milk came out of her noise when I told the family I had gotten that Pokey Pierce to leave Maud alone by convincing him that Maud had had a sex change. The clincher of that joke was when he overheard Maud say Caramel was her type of man. Of course after they had stopped laughing, I had to apologize and tell Pokey that Maud was indeed a girl.
I suppose the start of the rift came when I moved to Ponyville. Mom was against my moving out at such a young age. She finally relented when she learned I would be moving in with Uncle Carrot and Aunt Cup and working at their bakery. For the first little while I would always call them and send letters, but soon the calls became fewer and the letters stopped completely. I would always be there for the holidays, but only the holidays. Everything came to a head when I announced that I was pregnant.
I was nervoucited about becoming a mother for the first time and to twins no less. Mom kept offering advice on this and how to do things that way. Eventually, it all became too much and we had a screaming match. I didn’t see my mother until three years after my daughters were born. Then three years later she died.
I never took the opportunity to say, sorry.
I always said to myself that I would have plenty of time, but time ran out on me and the only one to blame for that is me. Mom and I truly were different, but I could have at least taken the time to say I was sorry. Over these past few years, since she died, I have been in so many situations with my children and I realize what a genius my mother was and what an idiot I was; when I was younger.
I look ahead and see that somepony is standing at my mother’s grave. As we get closer I see that it’s my older sister Maud. Once we are close enough, I ask Apple and Macareina to stay and wait back; I then continue on my own. Not a word is spoken as I move to stand next to my sister.
“Afternoon, Pinkamena.” Maud says in her usual monotone. To most it would seem like Maud is talking normal, but I shared a house, family, and a life with her. I clearly hear her anger; she is mad at me. Not so mad as to avoid talking with me, but mad enough to use my full name.
“Afternoon, Maud,” I reply. “Is it just us?” I asked her.
“Yes,” she answered. “Marble is in the midst of a huge excavation project on the other side of the planet, Lime won’t be back from her honeymoon until next week, and Pa’s back has been giving him fits lately.”
“Oh, I see,” I replied quietly. I had no idea all of that was happening. I thought Lime’s wedding wasn’t for a few more months. I’m the pony who claims to know every pony and yet, I cannot even keep a finger on the pulse of what is happening with my own family.
“You know,” Maud said breaking the silence, “I honestly didn’t think you were coming.”
“You can thank my daughters for it,” I replied. “They’re back there,” I said pointing down the path as Maud spared a glance back at her nieces.
“How did they manage to convince you to come?” she asked a little curiously.
“They reminded me that I had nothing to get in the way of it this year. No one planed any parties, no one got their cutie marks, Mac would be tending to the farm; so it would just be the three of us.”
After a few moments of silence I spoke up again. “You’re angry at me aren’t you?”
Maud sighed heavily before replying, “Yes, Pinkie I am. I am so angry at you I could snap.”
As I took a moment to digest the full extent of Maud’s anger, she turned to face me and asked, “What in the name of Tirek was wrong with you?”
Oh. Hay. No. The only one I would take this from is my mother, no pony else. I snap towards her and shove my finger in her face. “You shut your mouth right now,” I growled out. “I screwed up, I know that. But, I will only be spoken to that way about what I did by one pony and one pony only and that is our mother. So, I’m sorry I cannot be the perfect daughter like you, but not all of us can be good little rock surveyor like you. I will take this from Ma and only Ma, but Tartarus will freeze before I take it from you, Marble, or Lime. Just because you don’t have to worry, gives you no right to condemn me.” I didn’t realize it as I spoke, but my eyes were starting to become wetter. I wasn’t crying; because my anger refused to allow me to cry.
“Worry about what?” Maud asked in an even tone.
That was it, the walls were breaking everything that I tried to ignore these past seven years is now coming out. “You were able to say good-bye,” I replied as the walls broke. “When our mother died, she died with you, Marble, and Lime all knowing how she felt about you. I don’t know how she felt about me. I know she loved me, but was she proud of me? Did she think I married a good man? Did she think I was a good mother? Was she proud of my career choice? Did she die knowing I loved her? Did she die knowing I was sorry?” As I ask these questions, more and more tears fall from my eyes. Here I was a mare of thirty-two, a Knight of Equestria, one of the best known party planners on the planet, matriarch to one of the largest family clans in the country, and a mother; and at the moment none of that mattered because I was bawling my eyes out like a lost filly crying out for their mother. In truth, I suppose I was crying out for Ma. To hear her voice tell me that it is unbecoming of a mother to cry in front of her children as my crying would only make them worry.
As I poured my heart out, I could see through the tears that realization was washing over Maud’s face. After a moment, Maud stepped forward and wrapped me in a hug. “I’m sure, mom was proud of you Pinkie.”
“I know,” I replied as I cried onto Maud’s shoulder. “Mac told me the same thing and no matter how many times I hear it from others the only one who can confirm it is Ma.”
“Ma said as much when she was dying.”
“Wha?” I asked as I pulled back to look at Maud.
“I week before Ma died, I was at the house. When I learned that you hadn’t been to see Ma I was mad. I was about to leave to drag you home. That is, until Ma stopped me. She said that you had your hands full with raising children and that you shouldn’t be disturbed from being a good and proper mother. Ma said, that you were doing right by putting your children first. So, Ma passed from this world happy and proud of you.”
As Maud explained our Mother’s final views about me, before she passed, I began to brighten up. I sprang forward and grabbed Maud in a tight bone crushing hug.
“Careful, Pinkie. I’m pregnant,” Maud gasped out as I hugged her.
This caused my eyes to widen in surprise. I loosened my arms and stepped back to look at her. It was then that I noticed a slight bump emerging from her belly. “Congratulations, Maud,” I tell her happily. “Happy Mother’s Day, Maud,” I tell her with a hug.
“Happy Mother’s Day, Pinkie,” she replied.
We turned away from our Mother’s grave and began to walk down the path to rejoin my daughters. When we got close enough I said, “Apple, Macareina go pay your respects to your grandma.”
“Yes, ma’am,” they replied in unison.
“They’ve really grown,” Maud said once they were away.
It was true they had grown. Apple Punch’s coat was a mixture of mine and Mac’s. She had my straight hair and eyes. Macareina Pie was a near perfect female copy for her father. In fact, I had even joked that it was Mac who gave birth to her. She had her father’s mane color, but it was in my style of puffiness.
“That they have Maud,” I replied with a smile.
“How were they conceived?”
Maud’s question caught me by surprise. With a slight smirk, I replied, “Don’t ask me a question unless you really want to know the answer Maud. So, I’ll tell you this much; it involves the beach.”
Author's Note
I hope everyone enjoyed this story. I wrote it in honor of my Mother for Mother's Day.
Please leave a review telling me what you think.