/HaS/ in Equestria

It was the day. That day. Ponies went about the streets with a little extra care; with one more glance of caution as they passed even the most mundane of objects. It was not a regular day. It was not necessarily a bad day, but that didn’t make it any easier on the mind. As they went they worried, casting their eyes over their seemingly normal town with the burning sensation at the edge of their minds that it would simply not remain that way for long. Something would happen.

Ponyville didn't need to wait for long.

It was at the town hall that is happened. Amid the crowds that tried despite their senses to enjoy what seemed like a normal day came the sound of racing wind at first. A gasp ran through the crowd as the currents of air rushed past them; snatching hats and loose belongings from their owners in synchronized malevolence with a glow and buzz that emanated from thin air. The crowds moved out of the way and into already chosen cover. The constant of strange danger from their own town had long since made them cautious in the extreme, and one more oddity would not catch them entirely unawares.

The air shimmered and reality shattered as steel materialized from nothing but air by the town hall. A large container of metal in oval shape tore through the apparent normalcy of the town and slammed against the cobblestone of the road; shattering them like so many glass marbles. It rested there, ominous and oppressive, as the crowds peered at it from behind their shelters.

Absolute silence reigned for a few moments with nothing but the aftermath of the object’s intrusion slowly clawing at the quiet that had fallen on the town like a stone upon the sand. A soft, almost imperceptible hum and the faintest whisper of laughter. Slowly and with agonizingly precise bursts of movements, a segment of it slowly became detached. With a thud it fell to the floor and raised a curtain of dust. Out from within the darkness, accompanied by the sound of laughter and clinking glasses, was a creature unlike the ponies had ever seen.

He stood proud like a minotaur, but wasn’t as bulky as one. In fact, his posture and dress gave him a very straight-edged look, as though they were looking at an oligarch. The fancy suit jacket didn’t help with that image, either.

The biped adjusted the glasses that sat on his face, and he tugged at his suit jacket. It rolled his neck, and generally acted as if he was going to a job interview. He didn't even notice the gazes that were fixed on him as he entered the Town Hall.

Mayor Mare considered retiring. Seriously. Ever since Princess Twilight Sparkle got her castle-from-a-box, a lot of local functions and concerns now were adressed though the Princess, not the Mayor, leaving her with little in the way of responsibilities. Which means that there was little to do in the office nowadays. She didn’t mind the lack of workload, and especially didn't mind the lack of deduction in her pay, but the monotony of the workless days was getting to her.

She was getting to that age, anyhow. Perhaps she should retire. Leave the public life and get herself to some nice, quiet place of Equestria to finally work on her memoirs...

Her funk was broken by the appearance of someone in the Town Hall. She looked up from her secretary’s desk and saw the visitor that had caused the commotion outside. Her mood brightened significantly. Finally, the Tuesday event happened to her instead of the town heroes.

The suited creature opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off by her shouting, “Finally! The weird Tuesday thing happens. I was worried it was going to be a dragon again, but it’s just something in a suit! How can I help you?!”

“Um...” The creature started to say, but Mayor Mare cut him off again.

“No no no, this won’t do at all. My apologies. I am Mayor Mare. What’s your name?”

The bipedal creature took a seat in front of Mayor Mare and made himself as comfortable as he could, given that these seats were tiny. The Mayor extended her hoof.

“Oh. I’m Tyrannosaurus Tux.”

Tyrannosaurus Tux grasped her hoof and shook it. After releasing her hoof, Mayor Mare asked, “What manner of creature are you? I’ve never seen your kind before.”

Tux said with a chuckle, “I’m not surprised. We’re called humans. We’re new to these lands.”

Regarding him with a winning smile, Mayor Mare asked, “Well, Tux, what brings you to our little village?”

“ I’m here to purchase a lot on the perimeter of town. Me and the guys are planning to retire.”

“Oh, wonderful! We’re always eager to see more new faces in town! Just let me get the requisite paperwork.”

“What?”

2 Hours Later...

“...here, here, here, here, and here.”

Both Tux and the Mayor were leaning over a myriad of important documents. They were finalizing the agreements, reviewing rights and rules of the property owners, letting Tux know about taxation levels, all those landowner association intricacies. Tux noted bitterly that this was probably the reason he was ‘honored’ to go get the land needed for their purposes. He pointed at another ‘Sign here’ segment.

“What about here?”

“Oh, that’s for me to sign.”

Mayor Mare then took a quill then signed her name in the space.

“Oh, okay.”

“And...”

The sound of shuffling papers filled the office. Then Mayor Mare gave a sigh of relief, and handed to Tux a freshly minted deed to property.

“There we have it! You are now the proud owner of one of the lots bordering Ponyville! Would you like to get a list of construction contractors you can hire?”

Tux shook his head and said, “No, we’re thinking of doing the construction ourselves.”

That meant less paperwork, and so Mayor Mare was glad. She then asked, “Now there is the issue of payment, still.”

Tux reached into his jacket pocket and withdrew a diamond in the shape of a twinkling star the size of his face and set it on the table. Mayor Mare gawked at it.

“Well, now.” She said. “W-where did you get thi-”

Tux was already gone.

Twilight Sparkle was walking up the dirt path that led to the newly purchased plot of land on the outskirts of Ponyville. She’d heard about the strange new arrivals earlier in the day, but by the time she’d gotten her friends together and went to investigate; the odd machine was gone. So, they went to the new domicile directly.

“What do you think they are?” asked Rainbow Dash as she hovered over the rest of them. The six friends were still far enough from the location of the new arrivals that they couldn’t quite see what was going on, but they could hear it well enough. It sounded like a party.

“I’m not quite-”

“Oh! Are they aliens?!” Pinkie asked with a gasp. “Do you think they’d want a welcome party?!” She turned to face the source of the sounds. “Are they having a party right now?!”

“Pinkie-”

A loud bang interrupted Twilight Sparkle, and the sound came from the lot. The loud sound was following by loud ‘oooh’-ing sounds and the loud laughter of amused partygoers.

“What in tarnation was that?!” Applejack asked.

“It sounded like-” Twilight began, but Rainbow cut her off.

“Sounds like they’re having... a blast! Come on!” she said, and dashed forth in the direction of the sound. Twilight started to protest but the rest of them had already begun to leave, with Pinkie at the front. Only Fluttershy remained.

“Um...” Fluttershy said.

“I know, Fluttershy. I know.” Twilight sighed and started walking after the others. “Let’s just catch up before they do anything rash.”

The path was mostly then silent except for the sound of crunching gravel under the hooves of the ponies traveling to this... retirement home.

“Hey, Twilight.” Rainbow said. “I heard from the mayor that these guys are looking to retire. Do you think these travellers are just some old rich guys who want to settle down in a quiet town?”

Twilight suppressed a giggle, then said, “If they’ve come for peace and quiet, they should’ve looked somewhere else.”

“No kidding. This place has got lots of interesting things going on. Come to think of it, all these exciting events have started happening since you came to Ponyville, Twilight.” Rainbow Dash observed.

Twilight gave Rainbow Dash a funny look. “I thought Ponyville was always this way.”

“Nope.”

Twilight’s face fell, then she got a determined look.

“Well, I’ll have to see why that is.”

Rainbow Dash rubbed the top of Twilight Sparkle’s head and said, “Aww, don’t worry, Twilight. If all this stuff happening was your fault, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Twilight smiled and said “Thanks, Rainbow. Now let’s go see these new neighbors.”

Twilight Sparkle stood outside a huge mansion. She was confused. She’d been to the place before, and just this morning it was open plain hilltop with grass. Now the largest house in Ponyville stood before her. It had marble pillars, great oaken roofing, and an expansive deck.

“What? How is this-” Twilight began to say, but Pinkie let out a gasp of absolute astonishment.

“I was right! They were having a party!” she said, and before anyone could do anything else, she was already halfway inside the mansion; rushing into it at a terrible speed.

“Pinkie!” Twilight called out, but she was already far gone. “Okay, girls. We need to-”

“Wait up, Pinkie!” Rainbow shouted and rushed in after her; leaving Twilight’s mane a mess, which frustrated her greatly. Rarity placed a hoof on her back and sighed knowingly. She reached back into a saddlebag she carried and pulled out a brush. She gave it to Twilight.

“You’ll need this more than me, dear,” she said, and headed into the mansion.

Twilight quickly re-did her mane and then put away the hairbrush, making a mental note

to return the brush as soon as she could. She then went inside.

It was a circular area with the kitchen/bar in one corner, and with lounging chairs throughout the room, with a few strange trinkets and decorations about, such as a 100’’ black screened surface built into one of the walls, and the random trophies of strange-looking weapons and kit, as well as framed pictures or random and even alien landscapes, with varying colors of the land, flora, fauna, and even skies.

She noticed that the ponies were all greeted heartedly by all the strange new people, with mixed reactions. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie immediately joined the festivities, with Rarity and Applejack hesitantly following. Twilight Sparkle noticed Fluttershy shyly looking over the room and its occupants and so just joined her on the two-seated couch to people watch. She then listened to a song some jovial fellows were making, which spread fast.

“

What do you do with a drunken spaceman

What do you do with a drunken spaceman

What do you do with a drunken spaceman

Early in the morning?

Let ‘im get by a swarm o rippers

Let ‘im get by a swarm o rippers

Let ‘im get by a swarm o rippers

Early in the morning.

Put ‘im in a redshirt and watch him shiver

Put ‘im in a redshirt and watch him shiver

Put ‘im in a redshirt and watch him shiver

Early in the morning.”

As the shanty progressed, Twilight can’t help but join in.

“Ooooh

What do you do with a drunken spaceman

What do you do with a drunken spaceman

What do you do with a drunken spaceman

Early in the morning?

Chuck ‘im in the airlock till he’s sober

Chuck ‘im in the airlock till he’s sober

Chuck ‘im in the airlock till he’s sober

Early in the morning.

Shave his chin with a sonic razor

Shave his chin with a sonic razor

Shave his chin with a sonic razor

Early in the morning.”

As the verses to this adapted shanty got odder and odder, Twilight couldn’t help but think

“What are these things?”