My shiny new towerby ArcadunatoChaptersBuyers remorseA Slight Dealing with a posing minutaur and a wanabe-whichsun rise, star shimmer, shadow cast... or so I hoped.entertaining the thoughts of a mad stallionescape... among other things.A wild challenger appears!Buyers remorse My shiny new tower. "Spike! Great dragon spike! I need some food if you want to keep me in here much longer!" I yelled from atop my new tower, the sun glinting off as the clouds flittered by. It had one door on the bottom, leading to the courtyard that housed the resident princess-knapper. The great dragon spike, he was rather large for any dragon. He was purple with green frills, and his eyes shone like the largest emeralds. And wings large enough to let him fly. A rather interesting specimen, if you were looking to document dragons. I had already done that a few years back, his folder was in the red filling cabinet, middle drawer, d-section. He had been my guard and jailor ever since i bought my first tower. He also new how to cook really well. "What could you possibly want now? Dinner was two days ago!" He lashed out against a nearby ruin, flinging stones around like child's play. "I told you twelve years ago! Ponies don't digest like lizards!" I threw a rock i had picked up yesterday, it had exactly two hundred and fifty sides to it. Each facing a different way. The trajectory of my aim led the rock right between his shoulders. "If you keep this up I won't eat the next prince that comes this way! And I'll make sure that he's an inconsiderate jerk, who treats you like a trophy! Now shut up and I'll get you some cabbage and carrots from the market! Hand me that amulet that lets me shrink, so they don't freak out." He huffed a few clouds of smoke as i tossed the amulet down to him. It was a gold medallion that had a simple engraving on it. The spell itself was rather intricate, several enchantments layered to shrink him down to a more manageable size. He grumbled and trudged off to the nearest village, ponyvile. A rather quaint and interesting village. 'I don't think I will ever be able to go see it. Oh well.' As he took off towards the market i began to get back into the book that i had been reading, star swirls book for attaining enlightenment unicorns edition. I had read this three times and each time i notice something that I hadn't noticed before. As i opened the book i noticed a sound akin to someone screaming at the top of their lungs. "What the hay is that? I don't remember sending any invites out tPo any princes yet." I looked out my window to see a white stallion waving a sword in his magical aura, while running at a full gallop. Right for my door. Groaning i flipped a switch besides me that would lock the door. With several iron bars. "Fear not fair maiden! I shall free thee from you captor! For i am the one and only! Prince blueblood!" He stopped right before hitting his face on my door. And grabbing the doorknob with his magic. As it resisted his try's he began to swear rather profusely. Rollin my eyes, i grabbed another rock that i had brought up with me. I dropped it right in front of him. "You do know the rules right? You have to best my captor before you can claim me for kingdom. So since he isn't going to be here for a while, I suggest that you rest till he gets here. He really is the greatest of the dragons that my parents could find." I turned back to my book and went back to reading. "Could we just talk till he gets back then? The last i checked that isn't against the rules. Please? I left my food back at camp. I'm getting pretty hungry. Do you have any food up there?" His ranting had become rather annoying. "I just sent my dragon to get me some food, i have been starving for two days! The last meal i had was three days ago! And even that was a very small dinner! So buck off and quit annoying me!" I picked up my second rock that i had grabbed, this one i was going to save for making spike get me a bag if doughnuts for my up coming birthday. It had three hundred and twenty three sides to it. By the time it hit his flank i had ducked back inside. "What is wrong with you?! You threw a rock at me! You could have hit me in the head with it! Your crazy! You can just wait for the next prince to come around! Good by!" He grumbled to himself and started to trot off. That was when i noticed that the rock was stuck to his armor. "Oh well, i guess that I won't have any doughnuts for my birthday this year." I leaned back out the window, "hey! Pompous prick! Get back here and give me back my rock! I was saving it for my birthday!" Meanwhile "Hello! I would like to reimburse my crown for one free princess rescue please." A strange cloaked stallion said. "The cashier mare looked up from her magical directory, "place your crown on the counter and file forms e-23 through 67 and if you have any coupons, please feel free to hand them over." Her flat blue mane reflected her current mood. As she shuffled the appropriate documents on the counter, the cloaked figure fidgeted uncomfortably. "Um i only have one coupon, but it's pretty old." He pulled out a silver ticket that had an ever shifting runic circle on it. The mare looked up and as soon as she spotted the coupon, stopped and nervously lifted a hoof to touche the fabled card. "For that, you could skip the paperwork and i would happily hand over a detailed map for the best, and the most compatable princesses available." A Slight Dealing with a posing minutaur and a wanabe-which“I am the Great and Powerful Trixy! And I need to crash for a while.” a blue magician walked up to the base of my tower and proceeded to enter without getting a response. By the time I was fully aware of the situation, she had already opened the secondary door. “Who are you and what are you doing in my tower? My dragon is off at the market, so this visit better be business.” I closed the book* I had just got from my aunt. “What are you talking about, I need to rest for a minute. Where is the fridge, I thought that all princesses had fridges? You’re parents had told me that you would be a bit paranoid, so here it is, I am your personal witch.” She sat down on the bed. “Look, I don’t care if you are going to stay here, but you are going to have to be a little more courteous. And I would like for you to get out of my tower.” I stared back at her, trying to get a feel of who this mare was. “Well, your parents paid me and also got me to sign a contract, apparently we need those these days.” she took off her hat, letting her silver mane slide out from beneath it. “Basically I am here to deter any annoying pests that you don’t like. You just have to yell for me when my broom gets here, I will be staying in my cottage. Also don’t mind the minotaur, he is my boyfriend. Wake me when it gets here.” she promptly fell asleep. I sat there in wonder of how somepony could fall asleep so fast. “Twilight! I’m back from the market, you better not complain about the food this time.” Spike called from the edge of the clearing. “This time it’s carrots and oats, they were having a sale so I got you extra rations.” he dropped the sack of oats next to the door along with the bundle of carrots. The wind caught is way just right as he inhaled, “Who is here, princess? A prince or another intern?” “Intern I believe, this one is a witch it seems. Mom must have sold another book. Anyway, she is expecting her broom to be here soon, so be on the look out for it. It has her cottage in some bag of hers, and also don’t mind the minotaur, it’s her boyfriend. With my luck this week, it will be Iron Will again.” I fingered open my book again and resumed reading, completely missing Spikes response. Back at the Princess Rescue Agency “Alright sir you just need to sign here and here and you can be off on your way!” the receptionist held out a clip board and a pen to the cloaked pony before her. As he grabbed it, he signed using an early B.C&L. Language that was nearly indecipherable, leaving her clueless as to what his name was. “Um, do you need some assistance in translating into modern equestrian? Because I can help you if you do...” His glowing red eyes looked at her in confusion, “What do you mean, ‘translating’? I have never heard this word before, would you mind explaining?” he tilted his head. “Well, it goes like this, I figure out what you are writing and I write it in another language so that I can understand it, OK?” he slowly nodded that he got what she was talking about, “OK, could you tell me your name please?” “Oh yes, it’s Sombra, King Sombra. I am looking for a good queen. I think I could find her in the selection you gave me, so if I could get a compass, tent, and a sword, I think I could make it.” he pulled out the map from his pack and unfolded it. “Maybe if you could just- what is that?” he pointed over at a computer on the desk that had just beeped. He walked over to it and poked it, causing it to wobble precariously to the edge. “Sir, if you could not do that I would appreciate it, and it’s called a computer. Now if you would please just come over here and finish the paperwork with me you could go on your way and I can retire.” she held out the clipboard and pen towards him. He looked back towards her and pulled back his hand, “Um, of course!” he walked back over and grabbed the pen from her hand, “Where do I sign again?” she sighed and pointed to several spots on the paper. “Oh, thank you.” The shiny new tower Spike and Iron Will had been arguing for the past three hours, by this time I had thrown three rocks at them, barely getting a response out of Spike, but causing Iron Will to freak out. The reason why they had been arguing was of course where Trixy’s cottage would go. They would just ignore me as I had said several times that it should be right at the north edge of the clearing as to attract more attention from travelers and of course potential would be annoyances. The few suitors that I would even consider would hardly even leave their sanctuaries to even get food. “Iron will will not back down to a greed prone dragon on where to put his girlfriends cottage, she has the right of it!” I could feel the amount of stupidity and flexing he was inflicting as he talked, causing me to get a little irritated. I got up from my chair and walked over to the window for the twelfth time today, “Will you just shut up and put the Celestia damned cottage at the north end of the clearing you insipid fool! I am this close to coming down there and throwing you both into the forest!” thankfully that had gotten their attention, now I had to figure out how to get them to stay quiet. “Wait there, I will be down in a second.” I unlatched the doors and began my decent to the ground. Normally a princess would never get the luxury of being able to walk on grass until somepony came for them, but I wasn’t just any princess. I ruffled my feathers out as I left the closed spaces of my tower. I turned around to find that spike had been just standing there, waiting for me, while iron will and Trixy had begun to put the cottage on the west side like I had told them not to. My left eye began a slight tremor. “Excuse me, but I told you that the cottage is to be on the north end for maximum efficiency.” iron will turned back towards me, “Iron will will not tolerate prissy princess to argue with his mare friend, back off.” he had made three poses during the sentence, causing my left eye to twitch noticeably. “I ask that you listen to me, not because my parents are your ‘friends’ current employers, but because I know what I am talking about. Now please, put the cottage on the north side.” I smiled to be polite. “Iron Will will not back down to little wusses like you, he has told you before, back off.” His continual to strike poses was beginning to irk me, “Tell me, do you value your pride more than your face?” my hair had popped out of its natural strait form. Spike had been watching from a few feet behind iron will for some time and had begun to notice my tick, slowly slinking back over to the tower. “Iron will does not care about your little riddles, he suggests that you go back to your tower and, deal, with, IT!” he had bent down right into my face as he continued to talk, striking a few more poses as he did so. I lifted my right hoof slowly, drawing his whole focus to it, “You see, when you mess with the bull, you get the horn, right?” he squinted, “And when you mess with the princess, you get, the final notice.” I had been charging my horn while he wasn’t looking, as I put all my magic that I had been charging around my hoof, I lightly flicked his nose. His face crumpled as he flew across the clearing, screaming as he went. His trajectory I had planned, was right into Trixy’s back, causing them to collide as he continued on his way. My smiling face was probably the last thing he was ever likely to see since I had put a good amount of power behind it. The trees that had been the subject of their path had been shoved quite roughly aside due to the cottage that had been tethered to the broom that she had in her grasp. As I stood there, I did the breathing exercise that I had been taught by my sister in law, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Slowly spike came out from the closed door, “did you really have to do that?” My features came back to their normal pattern, “If a fly was buzzing around your soup, wouldn’t you swat it away?” I turned around and made my way back to my room. sun rise, star shimmer, shadow cast... or so I hoped.I had been waiting for the mare in the ‘agency’ to hand me a sword for about three hours since I had completed the ‘paper work’, apparently one paper isn’t enough anymore. The past three days I had been trying to get out of here and finding somepony to help rule besides me, she had been shoving paper after paper in my face. I was just about ready to scream my head off and just blast this place to smithereens. I had been up the entire time I had been here, barely enough time to close my eyes before the next stack was shoved beneath the pen in my hand. My eyes were just about as bloody as the last time I had been drinking, giving me the look of one of the zombies I had raised. The weariness that ran bone deep, my arm felt like it had been beaten with a cold iron hammer. The ‘coffee’ that she had been feeding me was making my heart hammer in my chest like a thousand drums. The delicious concoction was some sort of herb that they use for staying awake apparently. The desk I was sitting on seemed to get more and more comfortable as I sat there trying to stay awake. My head was swaying around like a drunken sailor on flat ground. My focus had blurred so much that I had no idea as to what I was signing anymore, leaving me at the mercy of the mare who was keeping me here. Back at the tower “I am here to eat carrots and buck stuff up, and I am all out of carrots!” a mare had called from the edge of my clearing, making me stop reading and look out my window. “Where are the princes? I am going to start partying if I don’t see a prince in about three seconds!” Confused, I got up from my chair and walked over to the window. “What are you talking about ‘princes’ for? You do know that there are only princesses right?” the pink mare was wheeling in a rather large pink cannon with the words ‘party cannon’ sloppily painted on the side. “I don’t care! I went to the rescue agency and got myself a prince tag, and I am going to collect!” she pulled on the fuse and shot out some confetti. “What the buck?! Where are the pies? I thought I loaded this thing with pies! Wait, if the confetti is in this, then that means-” pow! The cart that had been pulled out of nowhere, defying logic, exploded with raspberry jam and pie crust, showering spike with the deluge. “How, just how did you get that there without me seeing you pull it along with you?!” the confusing ability of the mare confounded me. “I don’t need a reason! I am the mayor of chaos town! My sheriff looks like someone put a whole forest in a blender and went Frankenstein on it!” the cannon disappeared along with the cart. “Wait... your pinky pie? The delusional fan who asked for a gag certificate of mayoral status over chaos? I thought you were a foal!” “Buck no! Discord! Front and center!” out of nowhere the rarest magical creature popped up right in front of her. “Mam, what is the problem?” he saluted her. “On, my map, there are no princes listed, I need this changed right now!” she pulled out the field map, supplied by the agency and held it out to him. He grabbed the map and began thoroughly looking at it. He snapped his claw and five more locations popped up. “Here you are mam, there are your princes!” as she grabbed it out of his hand, Discord disappeared. She turned around and trudged off back into the forest. I stood there, confused so badly out of my mind that I had almost fallen out of the window. “Spike, the next prince that gets here, I think I will just go with. I am getting pretty tired of dealing with these ponies.” I turned away from the window and slowly made my way back to the chair and plopped down on it. entertaining the thoughts of a mad stallionthe agency “Ugh, just leave me to die. I think-bleugh!” I grabbed the can that had been put next to me yesterday, I had gotten sick from drinking the ‘coffee’ too much. The agency mare wiped the sweat from my brow. “Oh, don’t be so dramatic, your just one signature away from going and getting yourself a wife and leaving me to my retirement plan! Sign here.” she gently pushed a paper beneath the pen on my hoof, which she had taped to it. As I shakily wrote my name one last time she jumped up and ran over to her desk, grabbing a stamp and slamming it over the outlined box. She turned back to me, smiling. “You have no idea how much you have just made my life easier, your on your own till my replacement gets here, have fun! Happy wife hunting! WEEEEE!” she quickly galloped out the door I had entered, leaving me there in a woeful state. The shiny new tower “SPIKE! WHERE IS THAT PRINCE?! I thought you said he would be here an hour ago!” I was chucking all the rocks I had stored up in my room, not even checking which ones they were. “I don’t want to be a princess without a kingdom for ever!” Spike dodged the last rock. “I don’t know, but if you don’t stop throwing rocks at me, so help me, I will break this tower down and make you rebuild it yourself!” I stopped mid-throw, considering the possibility of weather or not he could possibly do it. Doing the math in my head, I lowered my hoof and tossed the rock back into the box. “You’re lucky that I have to wait for a suitor to get rid of you.” his glowing red eye shown up to the window as he took off his amulet, allowing his full size to show. “NO. I AM NOT LUCKY TO BE IN YOUR SERVICE, THE LAST TIME I WENT TO THE MARKET, YOU COMPLAINED ABOUT THE TYPE OF HAY I HAD GOTTEN YOU.” I turned back to the window, glowering at his eye. “THAT’S BECAUSE YOU GOT LOW FAT HAY! I’M NOT ON A DIET! You’re just an inconsiderate dragon.” I opened my book back up to the last page I was on, trying to ignore his gaze. Due to the fact that he was blocking off the light, I turned back to him, levitated a rock to me and shot it right at his eye, forcing him to either take the hit and lose an eye or shrink back to his other form. Thankfully he chose to shrink and dodge the on coming attack rather than take the hit. “I’m not fat.” I took a quick look at my figure to confirm so, making double sure that I was n no way retaining fat. A grumble from outside confirmed that spike had been angered, and would soon try to find a way to get back at me for today. My mind wandered as I began to read my book again, this time I had decided to study dark magic and it’s properties. The book was made by some mad stallion who used live test subjects, of course, this had been written before the reign of the two sisters, a dangerous time of constant conflict between the tribes, and also it had a section on a ‘Crystal Empire’ somewhere not shown on any maps and never heard of. The ponies there were supposedly so in tune with the magic there, they had taken up its characteristics as a result. Of course, this part concluded with a discovery of another type of dark magic, emotion manipulation. It was similar to mind magic, but with a different intent, to strike the emotions of the victim in a negative way, causing darker emotions to surface. This part was not written like the rest, which had been nearly indecipherable, it was clean and efficient, like somepony else had taken over the writing of the book. But the next chapters I skimmed over resumed the chaotic hoof writing of the mad stallion. I skipped to the last page ad finally was able to discern the partial identity of the author, it mentioned of a singular event of deadly consequences, the blood moon. His name had been scorned from history and magical practice when he had gone rouge and used on of his nephews in an experiment that had destroyed his mind and later killed the child. He had given the poor lad an uncompleted version of the memory search spell and had made him perform it upon a crazed lunatic for further shattering of the nephews mind. The worst was later in the book, when he had used his own in an experiment of which he had the stallion find and become affiliated with a magical object. using a magic that he had invented himself, he did something no pony had ever though possible, he corrupted the purpose of the item, and in turn, his son. He displayed no remorse in his writing other than the fact that he had to get rid of the ‘subject’. Thankfully the writing stopped on one page in the back, blood was lightly splattered over it, staining the pages with his blood, mid way with one of his writings. The book had impossible to destroy since, and had ended up in the care of the two sisters, sealed away in a vault till I had found it and asked to read it. I had been fascinated with trying and re-purposing dark magic to better suit ponies to benefit them for a while now. “Twilight! You have company! Your sister in law wants to talk to you!” spike called from outside. I was so surprised that I dropped the blood soaked tomb, eliciting a scream from it. The wail was deep and haunting, chilling me to the core. “Princess!” spike threw in one of my rocks from earlier, closely followed by him vaulting through the window. “You need to stop reading that damned book! So help me, I will throw it down the bottomless pit myself if I have to!” he quickly grabbed the book and put in his satchel that I had crafted with a bit of magic to make it hold even more than it was supposed to. The door quickly opened and Cadance came in, fear plastered across her face. “Twilight! What happened?! Who’s here?!” a spell ready at her horn, brightly light up. I facehooved. “Ugh, I have to tell everypony who comes here, the book screamed! Not me! Geese, even spike can tell the difference by now! And it’s only when I drop the damn thing!” I stood up and moved over to where I was standing in front of Cadence, making ready for our little routine every time we met. After we did our little song and dance routine, we sighed and sat there reminiscing about our days before we were sent out to become rulers of the countries. Cadence spoke first. “You ever wonder what our life would be like if we didn’t have to deal with the towers and the P.R.A.?” I nodded and sighed deeply again. “Yeah, sometimes I wish we didn’t have to do these stupid things, and just find our own stallions.” Spike crossed his arms and leaned on the wall. “Now, where would I be without a job? I would be so bored about just picking around my hoard and constantly trying to get another dragon for some eggs! Gosh, I always wanted to try my hand a children, but you have managed to put me off of it for another hundred years!” escape... among other things. As I sat there with Spike, the chess board between us empty except for three pieces left due to the amount of time we normally play together, we had begun discussing my love life as of recently. "I don't see the problem, I just need to find the right stallion for you and I will finally be free to go back to my hoard! sounds like a win win to me." he shrugged and shuffled another paper over for me to browse before passing it off with another 'meh'. "I swear, if you don't like the next one I pick, you can go and get the next batch of papers for your self!" With that, he flung another paper at me, this one sporting an old name. Seonberu, the name sent a shiver down my spine. As I browsed the bio, I couldn't help but let out a small sqee. He was from a time locked kingdom with an ancient library, and was a celebrated war mage. I had mini nerdgasm as I thought of all he could teach me. unceremoniously, jumped up and shoved the portfolio in Spikes face. "This one this one this one! EEEEEEEEE! send out the notice immediately, I want him!" Back to the agency.... "I shall come out of this victoriously! None shall stop me from my conquest! Nothing shall be spared my scrutiny, and I shall-" a hoof slammed into Sombras' open mouth, stopping him mid rant. "You have mail Sombra, an Alicorn wishes to be 'rescued' from her tower, and has requested you by name. I suggest you hurry, they rarely ever want to be left waiting, it makes you look like you don't have any regard to schedules, something this one really appreciates. You have three days to get there, don't be late." Astaerotheshofusatherus extracted his hoof from the mouth if the former king and wiped it on his cloak. His eyes began to glow with a disturbing light, flashing after a few seconds, causing Sombra to blink. As he opened his eyes again, he found himself in a forest clearing. "What the buck?!" he looked around, trying to get a feel for his surroundings, when a map popped into existence in front of him. An X marked a spot with his name above it. He reached out with his magic, lightly grasping it as if it might disappear in a flash of magic. Off to one side, a tower was marked with an arrow with the word 'urgent' above it. With that noted, he scanned the rest of the page, noticing a magic compass in the lower left-hoof corner. With a shrug, he made a quick estimate of the direction and how to get there and rolled the map up and put it in his satchel. After a few hours of wandering through the woods, Sombra, our mighty adventurer, decided to stop for a quick rest in his journey. Unbeknownst to him but knownst to us, a pack of wild singers lurk in the bushes three feet away... thankfully a camera drone hovers near by to capture it all on crystal, and hopefully he won't make too much noise and alert them t- "WILL YOU SHUT YOU'RE MUZZLE?!" "Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap!" the startled documentary crew(except for the drone) all began to run away from the immediate area, hopeing to escape from the wild singers. The startled animals all popped their bird-like faces out of the bush, immediately zoning in on Sombra. The group of avian predators slowly fanned out around him, trying to trap him. They all began to chirp out a few notes in quick succession, harmonizing before they began their auditory assault in an attempt to lull him to sleep. With a blast from his horn, Sombra began to try and systematically destroy the little nuisances. After the first two though, the rest began to scatter, fouling his chance to get the rest of them. As he found the body of one of the little bird-like animals, he levitated it over to himself, lighting it on fire and burning the feathers and fur off of it. As the flesh crisped, the changeling hovered over to him. With a quick shift of appearance, it pulled out a microphone and held the device out to him. "Sir, your the first to ever survive an attack by Singers, you thing you could tell me how you managed to do so? This could help ponies everywhere, wold you like to tell the viewers how you did so?" Sombra stopped mid chew, looking at the strange device before him and to the thing holding it, "What the buck it that?" "A microphone, it allows me to record what you say without the need of a pen and scroll, the camera allows me to capture paintings in a very fast pace allowing me to make things called 'movies' or 'moving pictures', a very fine piece of technology if I may say so." as Sombra opened his mouth again, the changeling held up a hoof, "And I am well aware that it all seems extremely absurd to you at the moment, but you will be briefed on the technological and social advancements of the past centuries. Please just tell me how you managed to overcome the Singers, and i will be going back to just following you." "I don't like music. I find music to be a waste of talent and of no actual use to anypony." with that said, he began to walk off, leaving the changeling there, wondering how the studio would take this. A wild challenger appears!in the tower... "You do know that it will be a while before he gets here right?" Spike rolled up the list he was handed, most of the towers interior was bare due to the packing princess. The boxes and crates all stacked by weight size and content. "we will have to wait for him to get here and 'take me down' so to speak." Twilight waved a hoof dismissively, barely even giving him a side-long glance, "Oh, don't worry about the 'test', I'll do that my self." she shuffled on the bed, getting her wings out and fluffed. "I need to see for my self if he is half as competent as he seems." "And how are you going to test him?" Spike folded his arms and began to tap his foot. "I'm not going to tell you till I need to, that way, if you try to tell other ponies about it, I don't have to worry!" Twilight waved her hoof again, right as a loud banging from down below could be heard. The door was a thick piece of iron wood, a good hearty wood door. It was also impossible to knock on and be heard from the other side. It was very hard to get a door like that anywhere, yet another testament to the wealth of the Sparkle Estate. We looked to each other in confusion, obviously the noise should have been impossible to hear from this distance... unless it was from the stone. The tower shook as another loud bang reverberated from the base of the tower, shakeing us. I slowly made my way over to the door to the room, waiting for the next hit to rock the tower. I could hear my heart thundering in my ears. As no other sound came up, I decided to chance it and undid the latch holding the lower door closed. With trepidation-yes I know, book worm-I made my way down. The stairs seemed to be darker and steeper as I made my way down, almost like they were trying to get me out of the tower. The door was a scant few steps away now, the torch beside it giving it an ominous shadow. CREEEK! I swear by all the gods and deities known and unkown, that was the second most scary moment of my life. the dor opened to reveil that pink mare from before, only this time her hair was straight as a perfect line and I swear i could see the souls of every evil being ever crying in anguish in those eyes. Her smile could fell entire armies. That voice, oh gods that voice! "Little pig, little pig~... let me in... or I'll huff, and I'll puff. Then I will... DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!!" i didn't sream like a little filly or run away like I was going to die, no I stood there like a brave dra- "No you didn't you totaly went running like a little filly! Cheese even Snapped a picture as you screamed!" Pinkie waved a photo of Spike posed like a little female minutaur getting scared. Spike was blushing furiously, trying to look angry but ending up looking embarassed. The rest of them laughed at his expence, furthering the blush on his face. "Well at least you had your fun, know can I have the picture?" he held out a claw indignantly. Cheese Sandwich, sorry, Prince Cheese Sandwich, smiled and held out the offending picture to Spike finaly. "Here you go Spike! No harm, no foul, right?" With a swipe of a claw and a quick flame, the picture was destroyed. "Yeah, now. OK, to what do we owe this visit? I mean, it's not that we don't want to see you, it's just that we didn't know you would be back so soon." He leaned foreward, the chair creaking slightly as his might shifted. Pinkie gasped as her tail twitched rappidly, followed by her ears flopping over her eyes, followed by her legs wobbling, followed by a doozie. "OH! I've never had that combo before! I wonder what it's for?!" Out of nowhere, Prince Cheese pulled out a seizemometer looking thing, "Here dear, lemme, check the Cheeseometer, it just mi-" his face paled as he lifted the notes scrawled on the paper. "Honey, we need to get away from this tower. Now." Sombra and crew "WHERE IN TARTARUS IS IT!?! THIS DAMNED MAP WON'T STOP POINTING TOWARDS MY LEFT AND WE KEEP MISSING THE DAMNED TOWER! Who was responsible for this?! Who is the developer of these accursed maps?!" Sombra was practically roaring at the camera crew. Like the sensible ponies they were, they just kept filming. "Sombra, could you describe the current predicament to the viewers? Wide Shot, get a closeup on him, we need this." Final Cut motioned for the camerastallion to get closer. Wide Shot logicaly decided to get farther away. Sombra, furious had finaly found a target to vent his frustrations upon, the foolish stallion who had been pestering him for the past three days and irritating him at every given chance not to. The anger quickly turned to a sociopathic glee as he cantered over to the idiotic colt. "Well, you see, it's alot like having somepony steal from you. You just can't help but want to harm the one causing the problem... you just need to find the one responsible." Sombra looked over at the camera crew, wondering if the 'feed', as they called it, was 'live' or just a recording like they said. But a glimpse of a structure of a rather tall stature caught his attention. With a flash of his horn, Sombra dissapeared from their view. Reappearing in the what he assumed to be the correct location of the tower as it were. He quickly galloped over to the base of the tower, catching a glimpse of a trailer being pulled around the back. A dragon opened the door, his scales were a purple on green mix that immediatly made him think of a rather poisenouse flower he once came across in his youth. The dragons grabbed the pendant that hung around his neck and pulled it off. As the cord came free, the dragon immediatly grew in size anatomicaly correct for the most part, the wings were just a bit larger than expected. "WHAT BUISNESS HAVE YOU< MORTAL." the gravely voice boomed without effort. Sombra struck what he hoped to be a heroish pose, and raised his conract before him. "I have come for your Princess, Dragon, let us begin the..." he quickly flipped the document around and proceded to reread the script, "Challenge, task, and or quest upon which I must win in order to win her heart!" he flung the contract at the dragon, forcing it to grab for it. "As her dragon, I have full authority to tell you the challenge. You must recite Starswirles Twelve Eidicts upon Magiks first contemplations. Otherwise, test your metal agains my scales and hope to the Sun and Moon you survive the five minutes." The dragon held the contract up and blew fire upon it, the smoke flying away as if enchanted. With a smile the dragon readied himself for the second option. Sombra drew in a breath and began to recite the fools Eidicts.
Buyers remorse My shiny new tower. "Spike! Great dragon spike! I need some food if you want to keep me in here much longer!" I yelled from atop my new tower, the sun glinting off as the clouds flittered by. It had one door on the bottom, leading to the courtyard that housed the resident princess-knapper. The great dragon spike, he was rather large for any dragon. He was purple with green frills, and his eyes shone like the largest emeralds. And wings large enough to let him fly. A rather interesting specimen, if you were looking to document dragons. I had already done that a few years back, his folder was in the red filling cabinet, middle drawer, d-section. He had been my guard and jailor ever since i bought my first tower. He also new how to cook really well. "What could you possibly want now? Dinner was two days ago!" He lashed out against a nearby ruin, flinging stones around like child's play. "I told you twelve years ago! Ponies don't digest like lizards!" I threw a rock i had picked up yesterday, it had exactly two hundred and fifty sides to it. Each facing a different way. The trajectory of my aim led the rock right between his shoulders. "If you keep this up I won't eat the next prince that comes this way! And I'll make sure that he's an inconsiderate jerk, who treats you like a trophy! Now shut up and I'll get you some cabbage and carrots from the market! Hand me that amulet that lets me shrink, so they don't freak out." He huffed a few clouds of smoke as i tossed the amulet down to him. It was a gold medallion that had a simple engraving on it. The spell itself was rather intricate, several enchantments layered to shrink him down to a more manageable size. He grumbled and trudged off to the nearest village, ponyvile. A rather quaint and interesting village. 'I don't think I will ever be able to go see it. Oh well.' As he took off towards the market i began to get back into the book that i had been reading, star swirls book for attaining enlightenment unicorns edition. I had read this three times and each time i notice something that I hadn't noticed before. As i opened the book i noticed a sound akin to someone screaming at the top of their lungs. "What the hay is that? I don't remember sending any invites out tPo any princes yet." I looked out my window to see a white stallion waving a sword in his magical aura, while running at a full gallop. Right for my door. Groaning i flipped a switch besides me that would lock the door. With several iron bars. "Fear not fair maiden! I shall free thee from you captor! For i am the one and only! Prince blueblood!" He stopped right before hitting his face on my door. And grabbing the doorknob with his magic. As it resisted his try's he began to swear rather profusely. Rollin my eyes, i grabbed another rock that i had brought up with me. I dropped it right in front of him. "You do know the rules right? You have to best my captor before you can claim me for kingdom. So since he isn't going to be here for a while, I suggest that you rest till he gets here. He really is the greatest of the dragons that my parents could find." I turned back to my book and went back to reading. "Could we just talk till he gets back then? The last i checked that isn't against the rules. Please? I left my food back at camp. I'm getting pretty hungry. Do you have any food up there?" His ranting had become rather annoying. "I just sent my dragon to get me some food, i have been starving for two days! The last meal i had was three days ago! And even that was a very small dinner! So buck off and quit annoying me!" I picked up my second rock that i had grabbed, this one i was going to save for making spike get me a bag if doughnuts for my up coming birthday. It had three hundred and twenty three sides to it. By the time it hit his flank i had ducked back inside. "What is wrong with you?! You threw a rock at me! You could have hit me in the head with it! Your crazy! You can just wait for the next prince to come around! Good by!" He grumbled to himself and started to trot off. That was when i noticed that the rock was stuck to his armor. "Oh well, i guess that I won't have any doughnuts for my birthday this year." I leaned back out the window, "hey! Pompous prick! Get back here and give me back my rock! I was saving it for my birthday!" Meanwhile "Hello! I would like to reimburse my crown for one free princess rescue please." A strange cloaked stallion said. "The cashier mare looked up from her magical directory, "place your crown on the counter and file forms e-23 through 67 and if you have any coupons, please feel free to hand them over." Her flat blue mane reflected her current mood. As she shuffled the appropriate documents on the counter, the cloaked figure fidgeted uncomfortably. "Um i only have one coupon, but it's pretty old." He pulled out a silver ticket that had an ever shifting runic circle on it. The mare looked up and as soon as she spotted the coupon, stopped and nervously lifted a hoof to touche the fabled card. "For that, you could skip the paperwork and i would happily hand over a detailed map for the best, and the most compatable princesses available."
A Slight Dealing with a posing minutaur and a wanabe-which“I am the Great and Powerful Trixy! And I need to crash for a while.” a blue magician walked up to the base of my tower and proceeded to enter without getting a response. By the time I was fully aware of the situation, she had already opened the secondary door. “Who are you and what are you doing in my tower? My dragon is off at the market, so this visit better be business.” I closed the book* I had just got from my aunt. “What are you talking about, I need to rest for a minute. Where is the fridge, I thought that all princesses had fridges? You’re parents had told me that you would be a bit paranoid, so here it is, I am your personal witch.” She sat down on the bed. “Look, I don’t care if you are going to stay here, but you are going to have to be a little more courteous. And I would like for you to get out of my tower.” I stared back at her, trying to get a feel of who this mare was. “Well, your parents paid me and also got me to sign a contract, apparently we need those these days.” she took off her hat, letting her silver mane slide out from beneath it. “Basically I am here to deter any annoying pests that you don’t like. You just have to yell for me when my broom gets here, I will be staying in my cottage. Also don’t mind the minotaur, he is my boyfriend. Wake me when it gets here.” she promptly fell asleep. I sat there in wonder of how somepony could fall asleep so fast. “Twilight! I’m back from the market, you better not complain about the food this time.” Spike called from the edge of the clearing. “This time it’s carrots and oats, they were having a sale so I got you extra rations.” he dropped the sack of oats next to the door along with the bundle of carrots. The wind caught is way just right as he inhaled, “Who is here, princess? A prince or another intern?” “Intern I believe, this one is a witch it seems. Mom must have sold another book. Anyway, she is expecting her broom to be here soon, so be on the look out for it. It has her cottage in some bag of hers, and also don’t mind the minotaur, it’s her boyfriend. With my luck this week, it will be Iron Will again.” I fingered open my book again and resumed reading, completely missing Spikes response. Back at the Princess Rescue Agency “Alright sir you just need to sign here and here and you can be off on your way!” the receptionist held out a clip board and a pen to the cloaked pony before her. As he grabbed it, he signed using an early B.C&L. Language that was nearly indecipherable, leaving her clueless as to what his name was. “Um, do you need some assistance in translating into modern equestrian? Because I can help you if you do...” His glowing red eyes looked at her in confusion, “What do you mean, ‘translating’? I have never heard this word before, would you mind explaining?” he tilted his head. “Well, it goes like this, I figure out what you are writing and I write it in another language so that I can understand it, OK?” he slowly nodded that he got what she was talking about, “OK, could you tell me your name please?” “Oh yes, it’s Sombra, King Sombra. I am looking for a good queen. I think I could find her in the selection you gave me, so if I could get a compass, tent, and a sword, I think I could make it.” he pulled out the map from his pack and unfolded it. “Maybe if you could just- what is that?” he pointed over at a computer on the desk that had just beeped. He walked over to it and poked it, causing it to wobble precariously to the edge. “Sir, if you could not do that I would appreciate it, and it’s called a computer. Now if you would please just come over here and finish the paperwork with me you could go on your way and I can retire.” she held out the clipboard and pen towards him. He looked back towards her and pulled back his hand, “Um, of course!” he walked back over and grabbed the pen from her hand, “Where do I sign again?” she sighed and pointed to several spots on the paper. “Oh, thank you.” The shiny new tower Spike and Iron Will had been arguing for the past three hours, by this time I had thrown three rocks at them, barely getting a response out of Spike, but causing Iron Will to freak out. The reason why they had been arguing was of course where Trixy’s cottage would go. They would just ignore me as I had said several times that it should be right at the north edge of the clearing as to attract more attention from travelers and of course potential would be annoyances. The few suitors that I would even consider would hardly even leave their sanctuaries to even get food. “Iron will will not back down to a greed prone dragon on where to put his girlfriends cottage, she has the right of it!” I could feel the amount of stupidity and flexing he was inflicting as he talked, causing me to get a little irritated. I got up from my chair and walked over to the window for the twelfth time today, “Will you just shut up and put the Celestia damned cottage at the north end of the clearing you insipid fool! I am this close to coming down there and throwing you both into the forest!” thankfully that had gotten their attention, now I had to figure out how to get them to stay quiet. “Wait there, I will be down in a second.” I unlatched the doors and began my decent to the ground. Normally a princess would never get the luxury of being able to walk on grass until somepony came for them, but I wasn’t just any princess. I ruffled my feathers out as I left the closed spaces of my tower. I turned around to find that spike had been just standing there, waiting for me, while iron will and Trixy had begun to put the cottage on the west side like I had told them not to. My left eye began a slight tremor. “Excuse me, but I told you that the cottage is to be on the north end for maximum efficiency.” iron will turned back towards me, “Iron will will not tolerate prissy princess to argue with his mare friend, back off.” he had made three poses during the sentence, causing my left eye to twitch noticeably. “I ask that you listen to me, not because my parents are your ‘friends’ current employers, but because I know what I am talking about. Now please, put the cottage on the north side.” I smiled to be polite. “Iron Will will not back down to little wusses like you, he has told you before, back off.” His continual to strike poses was beginning to irk me, “Tell me, do you value your pride more than your face?” my hair had popped out of its natural strait form. Spike had been watching from a few feet behind iron will for some time and had begun to notice my tick, slowly slinking back over to the tower. “Iron will does not care about your little riddles, he suggests that you go back to your tower and, deal, with, IT!” he had bent down right into my face as he continued to talk, striking a few more poses as he did so. I lifted my right hoof slowly, drawing his whole focus to it, “You see, when you mess with the bull, you get the horn, right?” he squinted, “And when you mess with the princess, you get, the final notice.” I had been charging my horn while he wasn’t looking, as I put all my magic that I had been charging around my hoof, I lightly flicked his nose. His face crumpled as he flew across the clearing, screaming as he went. His trajectory I had planned, was right into Trixy’s back, causing them to collide as he continued on his way. My smiling face was probably the last thing he was ever likely to see since I had put a good amount of power behind it. The trees that had been the subject of their path had been shoved quite roughly aside due to the cottage that had been tethered to the broom that she had in her grasp. As I stood there, I did the breathing exercise that I had been taught by my sister in law, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Slowly spike came out from the closed door, “did you really have to do that?” My features came back to their normal pattern, “If a fly was buzzing around your soup, wouldn’t you swat it away?” I turned around and made my way back to my room.
sun rise, star shimmer, shadow cast... or so I hoped.I had been waiting for the mare in the ‘agency’ to hand me a sword for about three hours since I had completed the ‘paper work’, apparently one paper isn’t enough anymore. The past three days I had been trying to get out of here and finding somepony to help rule besides me, she had been shoving paper after paper in my face. I was just about ready to scream my head off and just blast this place to smithereens. I had been up the entire time I had been here, barely enough time to close my eyes before the next stack was shoved beneath the pen in my hand. My eyes were just about as bloody as the last time I had been drinking, giving me the look of one of the zombies I had raised. The weariness that ran bone deep, my arm felt like it had been beaten with a cold iron hammer. The ‘coffee’ that she had been feeding me was making my heart hammer in my chest like a thousand drums. The delicious concoction was some sort of herb that they use for staying awake apparently. The desk I was sitting on seemed to get more and more comfortable as I sat there trying to stay awake. My head was swaying around like a drunken sailor on flat ground. My focus had blurred so much that I had no idea as to what I was signing anymore, leaving me at the mercy of the mare who was keeping me here. Back at the tower “I am here to eat carrots and buck stuff up, and I am all out of carrots!” a mare had called from the edge of my clearing, making me stop reading and look out my window. “Where are the princes? I am going to start partying if I don’t see a prince in about three seconds!” Confused, I got up from my chair and walked over to the window. “What are you talking about ‘princes’ for? You do know that there are only princesses right?” the pink mare was wheeling in a rather large pink cannon with the words ‘party cannon’ sloppily painted on the side. “I don’t care! I went to the rescue agency and got myself a prince tag, and I am going to collect!” she pulled on the fuse and shot out some confetti. “What the buck?! Where are the pies? I thought I loaded this thing with pies! Wait, if the confetti is in this, then that means-” pow! The cart that had been pulled out of nowhere, defying logic, exploded with raspberry jam and pie crust, showering spike with the deluge. “How, just how did you get that there without me seeing you pull it along with you?!” the confusing ability of the mare confounded me. “I don’t need a reason! I am the mayor of chaos town! My sheriff looks like someone put a whole forest in a blender and went Frankenstein on it!” the cannon disappeared along with the cart. “Wait... your pinky pie? The delusional fan who asked for a gag certificate of mayoral status over chaos? I thought you were a foal!” “Buck no! Discord! Front and center!” out of nowhere the rarest magical creature popped up right in front of her. “Mam, what is the problem?” he saluted her. “On, my map, there are no princes listed, I need this changed right now!” she pulled out the field map, supplied by the agency and held it out to him. He grabbed the map and began thoroughly looking at it. He snapped his claw and five more locations popped up. “Here you are mam, there are your princes!” as she grabbed it out of his hand, Discord disappeared. She turned around and trudged off back into the forest. I stood there, confused so badly out of my mind that I had almost fallen out of the window. “Spike, the next prince that gets here, I think I will just go with. I am getting pretty tired of dealing with these ponies.” I turned away from the window and slowly made my way back to the chair and plopped down on it.
entertaining the thoughts of a mad stallionthe agency “Ugh, just leave me to die. I think-bleugh!” I grabbed the can that had been put next to me yesterday, I had gotten sick from drinking the ‘coffee’ too much. The agency mare wiped the sweat from my brow. “Oh, don’t be so dramatic, your just one signature away from going and getting yourself a wife and leaving me to my retirement plan! Sign here.” she gently pushed a paper beneath the pen on my hoof, which she had taped to it. As I shakily wrote my name one last time she jumped up and ran over to her desk, grabbing a stamp and slamming it over the outlined box. She turned back to me, smiling. “You have no idea how much you have just made my life easier, your on your own till my replacement gets here, have fun! Happy wife hunting! WEEEEE!” she quickly galloped out the door I had entered, leaving me there in a woeful state. The shiny new tower “SPIKE! WHERE IS THAT PRINCE?! I thought you said he would be here an hour ago!” I was chucking all the rocks I had stored up in my room, not even checking which ones they were. “I don’t want to be a princess without a kingdom for ever!” Spike dodged the last rock. “I don’t know, but if you don’t stop throwing rocks at me, so help me, I will break this tower down and make you rebuild it yourself!” I stopped mid-throw, considering the possibility of weather or not he could possibly do it. Doing the math in my head, I lowered my hoof and tossed the rock back into the box. “You’re lucky that I have to wait for a suitor to get rid of you.” his glowing red eye shown up to the window as he took off his amulet, allowing his full size to show. “NO. I AM NOT LUCKY TO BE IN YOUR SERVICE, THE LAST TIME I WENT TO THE MARKET, YOU COMPLAINED ABOUT THE TYPE OF HAY I HAD GOTTEN YOU.” I turned back to the window, glowering at his eye. “THAT’S BECAUSE YOU GOT LOW FAT HAY! I’M NOT ON A DIET! You’re just an inconsiderate dragon.” I opened my book back up to the last page I was on, trying to ignore his gaze. Due to the fact that he was blocking off the light, I turned back to him, levitated a rock to me and shot it right at his eye, forcing him to either take the hit and lose an eye or shrink back to his other form. Thankfully he chose to shrink and dodge the on coming attack rather than take the hit. “I’m not fat.” I took a quick look at my figure to confirm so, making double sure that I was n no way retaining fat. A grumble from outside confirmed that spike had been angered, and would soon try to find a way to get back at me for today. My mind wandered as I began to read my book again, this time I had decided to study dark magic and it’s properties. The book was made by some mad stallion who used live test subjects, of course, this had been written before the reign of the two sisters, a dangerous time of constant conflict between the tribes, and also it had a section on a ‘Crystal Empire’ somewhere not shown on any maps and never heard of. The ponies there were supposedly so in tune with the magic there, they had taken up its characteristics as a result. Of course, this part concluded with a discovery of another type of dark magic, emotion manipulation. It was similar to mind magic, but with a different intent, to strike the emotions of the victim in a negative way, causing darker emotions to surface. This part was not written like the rest, which had been nearly indecipherable, it was clean and efficient, like somepony else had taken over the writing of the book. But the next chapters I skimmed over resumed the chaotic hoof writing of the mad stallion. I skipped to the last page ad finally was able to discern the partial identity of the author, it mentioned of a singular event of deadly consequences, the blood moon. His name had been scorned from history and magical practice when he had gone rouge and used on of his nephews in an experiment that had destroyed his mind and later killed the child. He had given the poor lad an uncompleted version of the memory search spell and had made him perform it upon a crazed lunatic for further shattering of the nephews mind. The worst was later in the book, when he had used his own in an experiment of which he had the stallion find and become affiliated with a magical object. using a magic that he had invented himself, he did something no pony had ever though possible, he corrupted the purpose of the item, and in turn, his son. He displayed no remorse in his writing other than the fact that he had to get rid of the ‘subject’. Thankfully the writing stopped on one page in the back, blood was lightly splattered over it, staining the pages with his blood, mid way with one of his writings. The book had impossible to destroy since, and had ended up in the care of the two sisters, sealed away in a vault till I had found it and asked to read it. I had been fascinated with trying and re-purposing dark magic to better suit ponies to benefit them for a while now. “Twilight! You have company! Your sister in law wants to talk to you!” spike called from outside. I was so surprised that I dropped the blood soaked tomb, eliciting a scream from it. The wail was deep and haunting, chilling me to the core. “Princess!” spike threw in one of my rocks from earlier, closely followed by him vaulting through the window. “You need to stop reading that damned book! So help me, I will throw it down the bottomless pit myself if I have to!” he quickly grabbed the book and put in his satchel that I had crafted with a bit of magic to make it hold even more than it was supposed to. The door quickly opened and Cadance came in, fear plastered across her face. “Twilight! What happened?! Who’s here?!” a spell ready at her horn, brightly light up. I facehooved. “Ugh, I have to tell everypony who comes here, the book screamed! Not me! Geese, even spike can tell the difference by now! And it’s only when I drop the damn thing!” I stood up and moved over to where I was standing in front of Cadence, making ready for our little routine every time we met. After we did our little song and dance routine, we sighed and sat there reminiscing about our days before we were sent out to become rulers of the countries. Cadence spoke first. “You ever wonder what our life would be like if we didn’t have to deal with the towers and the P.R.A.?” I nodded and sighed deeply again. “Yeah, sometimes I wish we didn’t have to do these stupid things, and just find our own stallions.” Spike crossed his arms and leaned on the wall. “Now, where would I be without a job? I would be so bored about just picking around my hoard and constantly trying to get another dragon for some eggs! Gosh, I always wanted to try my hand a children, but you have managed to put me off of it for another hundred years!”
escape... among other things. As I sat there with Spike, the chess board between us empty except for three pieces left due to the amount of time we normally play together, we had begun discussing my love life as of recently. "I don't see the problem, I just need to find the right stallion for you and I will finally be free to go back to my hoard! sounds like a win win to me." he shrugged and shuffled another paper over for me to browse before passing it off with another 'meh'. "I swear, if you don't like the next one I pick, you can go and get the next batch of papers for your self!" With that, he flung another paper at me, this one sporting an old name. Seonberu, the name sent a shiver down my spine. As I browsed the bio, I couldn't help but let out a small sqee. He was from a time locked kingdom with an ancient library, and was a celebrated war mage. I had mini nerdgasm as I thought of all he could teach me. unceremoniously, jumped up and shoved the portfolio in Spikes face. "This one this one this one! EEEEEEEEE! send out the notice immediately, I want him!" Back to the agency.... "I shall come out of this victoriously! None shall stop me from my conquest! Nothing shall be spared my scrutiny, and I shall-" a hoof slammed into Sombras' open mouth, stopping him mid rant. "You have mail Sombra, an Alicorn wishes to be 'rescued' from her tower, and has requested you by name. I suggest you hurry, they rarely ever want to be left waiting, it makes you look like you don't have any regard to schedules, something this one really appreciates. You have three days to get there, don't be late." Astaerotheshofusatherus extracted his hoof from the mouth if the former king and wiped it on his cloak. His eyes began to glow with a disturbing light, flashing after a few seconds, causing Sombra to blink. As he opened his eyes again, he found himself in a forest clearing. "What the buck?!" he looked around, trying to get a feel for his surroundings, when a map popped into existence in front of him. An X marked a spot with his name above it. He reached out with his magic, lightly grasping it as if it might disappear in a flash of magic. Off to one side, a tower was marked with an arrow with the word 'urgent' above it. With that noted, he scanned the rest of the page, noticing a magic compass in the lower left-hoof corner. With a shrug, he made a quick estimate of the direction and how to get there and rolled the map up and put it in his satchel. After a few hours of wandering through the woods, Sombra, our mighty adventurer, decided to stop for a quick rest in his journey. Unbeknownst to him but knownst to us, a pack of wild singers lurk in the bushes three feet away... thankfully a camera drone hovers near by to capture it all on crystal, and hopefully he won't make too much noise and alert them t- "WILL YOU SHUT YOU'RE MUZZLE?!" "Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap!" the startled documentary crew(except for the drone) all began to run away from the immediate area, hopeing to escape from the wild singers. The startled animals all popped their bird-like faces out of the bush, immediately zoning in on Sombra. The group of avian predators slowly fanned out around him, trying to trap him. They all began to chirp out a few notes in quick succession, harmonizing before they began their auditory assault in an attempt to lull him to sleep. With a blast from his horn, Sombra began to try and systematically destroy the little nuisances. After the first two though, the rest began to scatter, fouling his chance to get the rest of them. As he found the body of one of the little bird-like animals, he levitated it over to himself, lighting it on fire and burning the feathers and fur off of it. As the flesh crisped, the changeling hovered over to him. With a quick shift of appearance, it pulled out a microphone and held the device out to him. "Sir, your the first to ever survive an attack by Singers, you thing you could tell me how you managed to do so? This could help ponies everywhere, wold you like to tell the viewers how you did so?" Sombra stopped mid chew, looking at the strange device before him and to the thing holding it, "What the buck it that?" "A microphone, it allows me to record what you say without the need of a pen and scroll, the camera allows me to capture paintings in a very fast pace allowing me to make things called 'movies' or 'moving pictures', a very fine piece of technology if I may say so." as Sombra opened his mouth again, the changeling held up a hoof, "And I am well aware that it all seems extremely absurd to you at the moment, but you will be briefed on the technological and social advancements of the past centuries. Please just tell me how you managed to overcome the Singers, and i will be going back to just following you." "I don't like music. I find music to be a waste of talent and of no actual use to anypony." with that said, he began to walk off, leaving the changeling there, wondering how the studio would take this.
A wild challenger appears!in the tower... "You do know that it will be a while before he gets here right?" Spike rolled up the list he was handed, most of the towers interior was bare due to the packing princess. The boxes and crates all stacked by weight size and content. "we will have to wait for him to get here and 'take me down' so to speak." Twilight waved a hoof dismissively, barely even giving him a side-long glance, "Oh, don't worry about the 'test', I'll do that my self." she shuffled on the bed, getting her wings out and fluffed. "I need to see for my self if he is half as competent as he seems." "And how are you going to test him?" Spike folded his arms and began to tap his foot. "I'm not going to tell you till I need to, that way, if you try to tell other ponies about it, I don't have to worry!" Twilight waved her hoof again, right as a loud banging from down below could be heard. The door was a thick piece of iron wood, a good hearty wood door. It was also impossible to knock on and be heard from the other side. It was very hard to get a door like that anywhere, yet another testament to the wealth of the Sparkle Estate. We looked to each other in confusion, obviously the noise should have been impossible to hear from this distance... unless it was from the stone. The tower shook as another loud bang reverberated from the base of the tower, shakeing us. I slowly made my way over to the door to the room, waiting for the next hit to rock the tower. I could hear my heart thundering in my ears. As no other sound came up, I decided to chance it and undid the latch holding the lower door closed. With trepidation-yes I know, book worm-I made my way down. The stairs seemed to be darker and steeper as I made my way down, almost like they were trying to get me out of the tower. The door was a scant few steps away now, the torch beside it giving it an ominous shadow. CREEEK! I swear by all the gods and deities known and unkown, that was the second most scary moment of my life. the dor opened to reveil that pink mare from before, only this time her hair was straight as a perfect line and I swear i could see the souls of every evil being ever crying in anguish in those eyes. Her smile could fell entire armies. That voice, oh gods that voice! "Little pig, little pig~... let me in... or I'll huff, and I'll puff. Then I will... DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!!" i didn't sream like a little filly or run away like I was going to die, no I stood there like a brave dra- "No you didn't you totaly went running like a little filly! Cheese even Snapped a picture as you screamed!" Pinkie waved a photo of Spike posed like a little female minutaur getting scared. Spike was blushing furiously, trying to look angry but ending up looking embarassed. The rest of them laughed at his expence, furthering the blush on his face. "Well at least you had your fun, know can I have the picture?" he held out a claw indignantly. Cheese Sandwich, sorry, Prince Cheese Sandwich, smiled and held out the offending picture to Spike finaly. "Here you go Spike! No harm, no foul, right?" With a swipe of a claw and a quick flame, the picture was destroyed. "Yeah, now. OK, to what do we owe this visit? I mean, it's not that we don't want to see you, it's just that we didn't know you would be back so soon." He leaned foreward, the chair creaking slightly as his might shifted. Pinkie gasped as her tail twitched rappidly, followed by her ears flopping over her eyes, followed by her legs wobbling, followed by a doozie. "OH! I've never had that combo before! I wonder what it's for?!" Out of nowhere, Prince Cheese pulled out a seizemometer looking thing, "Here dear, lemme, check the Cheeseometer, it just mi-" his face paled as he lifted the notes scrawled on the paper. "Honey, we need to get away from this tower. Now." Sombra and crew "WHERE IN TARTARUS IS IT!?! THIS DAMNED MAP WON'T STOP POINTING TOWARDS MY LEFT AND WE KEEP MISSING THE DAMNED TOWER! Who was responsible for this?! Who is the developer of these accursed maps?!" Sombra was practically roaring at the camera crew. Like the sensible ponies they were, they just kept filming. "Sombra, could you describe the current predicament to the viewers? Wide Shot, get a closeup on him, we need this." Final Cut motioned for the camerastallion to get closer. Wide Shot logicaly decided to get farther away. Sombra, furious had finaly found a target to vent his frustrations upon, the foolish stallion who had been pestering him for the past three days and irritating him at every given chance not to. The anger quickly turned to a sociopathic glee as he cantered over to the idiotic colt. "Well, you see, it's alot like having somepony steal from you. You just can't help but want to harm the one causing the problem... you just need to find the one responsible." Sombra looked over at the camera crew, wondering if the 'feed', as they called it, was 'live' or just a recording like they said. But a glimpse of a structure of a rather tall stature caught his attention. With a flash of his horn, Sombra dissapeared from their view. Reappearing in the what he assumed to be the correct location of the tower as it were. He quickly galloped over to the base of the tower, catching a glimpse of a trailer being pulled around the back. A dragon opened the door, his scales were a purple on green mix that immediatly made him think of a rather poisenouse flower he once came across in his youth. The dragons grabbed the pendant that hung around his neck and pulled it off. As the cord came free, the dragon immediatly grew in size anatomicaly correct for the most part, the wings were just a bit larger than expected. "WHAT BUISNESS HAVE YOU< MORTAL." the gravely voice boomed without effort. Sombra struck what he hoped to be a heroish pose, and raised his conract before him. "I have come for your Princess, Dragon, let us begin the..." he quickly flipped the document around and proceded to reread the script, "Challenge, task, and or quest upon which I must win in order to win her heart!" he flung the contract at the dragon, forcing it to grab for it. "As her dragon, I have full authority to tell you the challenge. You must recite Starswirles Twelve Eidicts upon Magiks first contemplations. Otherwise, test your metal agains my scales and hope to the Sun and Moon you survive the five minutes." The dragon held the contract up and blew fire upon it, the smoke flying away as if enchanted. With a smile the dragon readied himself for the second option. Sombra drew in a breath and began to recite the fools Eidicts.
