The shipping games

by Cartz1

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Romance, Sex, Princess Celestia, Dark, Main 6, Princess Luna
Length: 2517

Boredom. Perhaps the greatest source of inspiration to exist.

One fateful Steam conversation will unleash untold injustices upon the ponies of Equestria, as two students fight off boredom in the only way they know how: writing ridiculous, short shipping stories. There are no restraints, no shame and no character is safe. All aboard, and prepare for hilarity, for these are The Shipping Games.
-
Writers:

~Cartz1
~Protiac

Published 2012-05-17 11:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-26 05:14:14 UTC

The shipping games Chp 1 (Cartz1)

A monotonous pounding in her head. “Oh boy” she thought aloud. “This is not good.” Rainbow dash tried bringing her head forward from the pillow, her eyes straining to see past the end of her stomach.

‘Twag’

An acute pain shot up her neck accompanied by a loud crack from her spine, indicating she should probably stop moving.
“Ah! Dammit,” she growled. She tried another part of her body, moving her left arm to only receive the same sharp shock once again. “Hphm!” she exclaimed.

Bitting her lower lip she tried to recount the events of the possible accident. So I was at this party last night at the gala.. Ah parties, never good. And then I remember celestia put this pi- She stopped right there. Her back began to sweat, her temples pounded harder. Celestia’s shenanigans weren’t usually this bad but this was way too far this time and unfortunately for her, that’s as far back as she could remember. “Aw, fuck me.”

“Yes?” said a mysteriously sexy voice.

Dash snapped her head around to the source of the strangely sexy voice, causing a great unintentional pain up her spine. Standing before her, directly next to her hospital bed stood a nearly translucent figure, her pail of white so white it looked like snow, but more delicate in shade. Her head sported a red cross akin to that of her cutie mark. It only took rainbow seconds to realise who had responded to her.

“Nurse lovejoy! Oh wow, celestia I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were here,” Rainbow dash croaked, stunned at the innocent tone of her nervous voice.

“That’s ok,” Lovejoy beamed back, her rosy red eyes grasping Rainbow’s like tentacles of a giant octopus around a ship, crushing and destroying hope of escape. “I see you pretty often, there’s no need for too much formality.”

Rainbow shook her head, trying to block the lustful thoughts of the nurse out her head. “So ah… How am I doin’ doc?” She tried to say nonchalantly.

“Well last night you were brought in by some of your friends, they said that you may be on some sort of drug, and by the looks of it, you sure were.” The nurse turned away from dash staring out the window of the hospital into Ponyvil, observing the town as if to search for a missing clue.

“When we took some blood samples while you were unconscious it seems someone had put a high concentrated sedative into your drink last night.” She shook her head, snapping out of her stare and directing her gaze from the window to rainbow dash, gleaming in usual nurse-like delight. “But now that you’re here thanks to your friends you should be fine.”
Rainbow sighed in relief, relaxing the tense muscles her neck she stared at the ceiling in humble pleasure knowing that everything was going to be ok. But something still bugged her. “Hay doc?”

“Yes Rainbow?” The notion that the incredibly sexy nurse said her first name so informally sent shivers down to her abdomen, she could feel the blood rising to her cheeks with astronomical haste. “Ah, why can’t I move?”

A sudden pang of realisation ran up her spin. “How did you know somebody slipped something in my drink?”

Nurse lovejoy Just stood in her place, her sweet delicious smile gone from her face and a blank expression staring down at Rainbow. “Oh silly Rainbow,” She began, her grin expanding to be beyond the boundaries of physically possible. “I’m surprised at your intuition.”

The nurse’s smile became almost devilish, her intentions almost plastered all over her face. “In all honesty I thought it would've taken longer, but you surprise me young one.”

“Wh-who are you?” Rainbow dash almost whispered, her need to clutch her blankets in horror was restricted due to her physical pain. In fact she felt like she was in a cage, she couldn’t move nor retreat from lovejoy’s approach, she began to wonder if this was actually physical pain at all.

“Well…” The nurse whispered slowly, her eyes starting to fade from their rose-like colour to a soft pink. Rainbow wanted to jolt up in fright at what she was seeing; a large horn began materialising on the nurse’s upper forehead, followed by a golden tiara with a crown jewel placed directly in the centre.

“Let’s find out shall we.”

~ Written By Cartz1

The shipping games Chp2 (Protiac)

Rainbow Dash burst through the gates, the iron hinges buckling under the impact. Dazed, she realised that perhaps flying over the obstacle may have been a better idea, but she continued regardless. She was on a mission.

Ignoring the main entrance to the palace, she chose instead to force her way through an upper level window, hoping the ancient stained glass wasn't too valuable as it shattered. Finding herself in the west wing of the palace, she observed the multiple halls and corners of stretching away from her.

Where was Celestia?

For not-the-first time, she wished her memory was as good as Twilights'. She was going to have to do this manually, searching every single room for the Princess. Through the long, lavish corridors she sped, doors whipping past in confused blurs.

A large double door, closed but very royal looking, lay in front of her. Without regard for Princess Protocol, she bucked the door and stormed inside. She realised it was the residence of the dark skinned Alicorn.

"Hi Luna! Where's your sister?" Rainbow Dash half yelled.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared the pegasus for what lay before her eyes. Nothing in her years of life could quite match the shock she received from the scene in front of her. The night-goddess, her night-goddess, lay on the ground, with none other than Twilight Sparkle laying sensually on top. The two had their hooves wrapped around each other, their lips meeting in a passionate kiss.

Rainbows' eyes almost exploded out of her skull. Her mind tried desperately to refuse the images being sent down her retinal cords. But there was no denying it. The two were doing the nasty. The lavender unicorn gasped in pleasure, the warmth of their skins and the passionate intensity almost overwhelming.

As her mind returned to reasonable order, the pegasus let out her contained breath in a suppressed shudder. Somehow, the pair hadn't noticed her arrival. They seemed so wrapped up in each other, literally, that even if Pinkie Pie through a part around them, they probably wouldn't notice.

Also, how was this even possible? Twilight was last seen in Ponyville, and there was no way she'd beat Rainbow to
Canterlot...

Unless...

"Oh, do another!" Luna gasped, rolling on top of 'Twilight'. Sure enough, a green flashed shot out from the pair, and suddenly the Goddess of the Night was making out with Rainbow Dash. Or at least, a changeling - presumably Queen
Chrysalis herself.

The real Rainbow Dash was forced to watch, momentarily too scared to move, yet her wings were at full stretch. The site of herself - but not herself - in a loving embrace with Princess Luna filled her vision. She didn't want to admit it, but the scene before her, well...

It was kind of hot...

~ Written by Protiac

The shipping games Chp3 (Cartz1)

The shipping games Chp3 (Cartz1)

“Ah…” Pinkie Pie sighed dreamily. Rocking herself forward she pushed her arms out from underneath the blankets and stretched, grimacing at the slight cracks from her vertebrae.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes she then hopped out of bed, springing lightly onto her feet totally unaffected by rest as per usual. Walking over to the door she could feel the warm summer’s sun light on her back, its heat greeting her with the comfort and expectation of a wonderful day to come ahead. Thanks to the beginning of summer only being announced yesterday, it didn’t seem like there was going to be any doubt in the world that could stop her from living out her most joyful, fun, exciting…

“Oh!”

Pinkie’s ears sprung up, she stopped just before turning the knob, surprised by the sound that seemed to have been emitted from downstairs.

“Honey do you really think…” Pinkie couldn’t make out what the voice was saying, but definitely recognised its owner and its location. Carefully and stealthily; she opened up the door and snuck out, tiptoeing her way to the top of the staircase with total concentration on her hoof steps. She needed to get a better vantage point of the Cake’s conversation in the kitchen.

Peering her head off the banister but as not to be seen, Pinkie extended her ear over the railing, finally able to pick up the conversation.

“…But the kids are sleeping and Pinkie could wake any mom-,” Mr. Cakes voice trailed off, suppressed by a loud “Shh.”

“Quiet honey; just let me do the work…”

Suddenly, a sharp grunt from Mr. Cake vibrated up the hall way, followed by a short gasp by his wife. The noises continued; getting faster and sharper, louder and more vulgar. In fact the thumping of a wooden bench could be heard in synchronisation with the couple’s noises, while also growing louder and faster. Mr. Cake’s grunt began turning into a groan,
Mrs. Cake’s gasps turned into pants.

Pinkie stammered back from the banister. Could what she be hearing be true? Could they really be…

“Oh, Frank” Mrs. Cake groaned slowly. “Oh, Abigail…” Mr. Cake responded with the same amount of intimacy in his voice.

No. That was enough. Pinkie couldn’t stand it any longer, not now, not while their kids were only two doors down from hers, fast asleep and totally unaware of the cake’s ‘actions’ and most epically NOT in the kitchen. Without any further questions she bolted down the stairs, the world flew by in a blur, her mind and determination set on the kitchen to reveal the two scoundrels that had being going at ‘it’ for the last half an hour. Arriving in the kitchen door with her hoofs held over her eyes, just for safety, she yelled at the top of her voice.

“STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!”

The kitchen was silent. Lifting a hoof she couldn’t believe the sight she saw.

“What’s wrong Pinkie?” Mr. Cake retorted, brushing the flower off his face. “Did we wake you?”

Standing in the middle of the kitchen was one of the most delicious cakes Pinkie had ever laid eyes on, it stood five feet tall wrapped in different kinds of icing and decorations, white all over complete with a mare in a white dress and a colt in a tuxedo standing at the top. “What is that!?!” Pinkie exclaimed, forgetting her worries and trotting towards the gargantuan cake.

“It’s our wedding present to Abigail and Frank,” Mrs. Cake chirped trotting around the side of the cake in pride. “They needed a wedding cake, and what other better people to make one but us!”

Pinkie’s gaze fell away from the cake as she began to blush.

“What’s wrong Pinkie?” Mr. Cake asked gently trotting over to Pinkie with a concerned expression on his face.

“N..Nothing I just thought…” She looked at the two, both starring back quite confused. “Nothing.”

Mr. Cake went to say something but Pinkie was already leaving the room. Her foot steps could be heard trailing out of the house and the door slamming behind her.

Both ponies left in the kitchen looked guilty at the floor then let out a sigh of relief.

“Holy shit that was close,” Mrs. Cake sighed in relief.

“Tell me about it,” Mr. Cake giggled to himself.

Mrs. Cake looked up at Mr. Cake with some expectancy in her eyes, licking her lips slowly. “So… You still got another one?”

“Yup,” Mr. Cake smirked, bringing out another condom from the pocket on his chief’s coat. “Let’s get baking.”

The shipping games Chp4 (Protiac)

The sun rose above the mountains, casting brilliant streaks of light over Canterlot. Low clouds filtered the light in brilliant rays as it splashed over castle walls and roofs. Celestia watched her sister take to her personal quarters, retiring for sleep.

She lazily watched the sun rise, resting on her bed. It was time for a much needed day off.
Of course, her mind drifted. The mess of the changeling crisis was over, and she compared it to the other events that had rocked the nation recently. The Nightmare Moon return, and the unleash of the chaotic power of Discord.
Discord, that sexy bastard.

Celestia sat up, eyes wide. Where had that come from? Perhaps it was the mischievous spirit itself, inserting disconcerting thoughts into her mind. Or perhaps she was still tired. Or maybe, just maybe, it was something that she sorely didn't want to admit to herself. Discord has a really nice body.
If it wasn't encased in a statue.

"Oh Discord, nothing is set in stone," she imagined herself saying. "I have been a little hard on you, but we've been through some rocky times. I think we can put this behind us. I truly think we have a solid future."

She imagined Discord being set free again. The sun goddess groaned as the uninvited thoughts flowed free.

Unconventional as it may be, Discord had something to admire. And his voice. Oh, she imagined what it would sound like if it was calling her name. "Celestia... I've wanted to do this for a very long time..."

She lost herself in her fantasies. The chaotic demon gripped her in her vision, pulling her close, passionately kissing her. His lips felt rough, but it only made it more pleasurable. His conglomerate body should have been repulsive, but instead it was kinky.

For the longest time, she lay there, eventually letting her mind go uninhibited. It would be her darkest secret, the absolutely forbidden desire. Her mind was capable of extremely vivid details, details which would make even the dirtiest magazine seem authored for foals.

At long last, she was interrupted. A flash of light and puff of smoke shocked her out of her inner thought. A scroll plopped down in front of her. A scroll from Twilight. It served as well as any cold shower, and the intimate thoughts vanished as she levitated it, unfurled it and began reading her prize students' latest report. A small part of her mind that imagined what the unicorn would be like in bed...

A thought like that is far too inappropriate. The irony wasn't lost on Celestia.

"Dear Princess Celestia,

I have continued my research into telepathic communications in between my friendship reports and I have something fairly interesting to report. My continued work on the neuron-entanglement spell was almost complete, and as I tested it on Spike and myself, I encountered rather interesting results. Instead of channelling Spike's thoughts to my own, it was instead flooded by the most powerful stream of consciousness known in Equestria. Yours. In short, I've been forced to read your mind for the last few hours.

What.

The.

Fuck?

Your Disturbed Student,

Twilight Sparkle"