HiE (Mein Little Fuhrer)

by Abody

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Comedy
Length: 2454

What would happen when Hetmann Fegelein and Adolf Hitler arrive in Equestria? Antics,'nuff said.

When Hitler used a secret Nazi weapon, Fegelein has 'tweaked' it, making both Hitler and Fegelein arrive in Equestria…But Hitler has plans for this innocent world…And only Fegelein's antics would stop him. What would happen? Read to find out, I suppose.

Basically,I had this idea for a while..and I thought..Why not?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-18 21:04:16 UTC

Introductions

Hitler was waiting impatiently for the weapon, so he decided to check on its progress.

"How much longer will it take?!"

"Mein fuhrer, I don't know!"

"I WANT YOU TO FINISH IT NOW!"

"Someone has done something to it!"

"Who could have possibly-"

Then he realized who it was.

"FEGELEIN!!!"

Fegelein started chuckling, then Himmler came up to him.

"It seems like your antic has succeeded again, Fegelein."

Fegelein then chuckled again and replied.

"Was there ever any doubt?"

"So tell me, Fegelein..What have you done exactly?"

"The secret weapon was a trans-dimensional portal..Its simple really, I just set the co-ordinates to some random place...The fuhrer would surely be pissed."

"Wouldn't touching it have any effect on you?"

"Hm..You're right..."

"It seems like your plan backfired this time, Fegelein."

"Crap."

After Hitler was done being butthurt over the antic, he ran up to the portal.

"Start it up."

A scientist rose up from his chair.

"But mein fuhrer-"

"Now."

The scientist then nodded, and started powering up the portal, but what they don't know, is that a certain person was near the portal too, planning yet another antic. The portal was fully on, but it overloaded, sending sparks everywhere, then exploding, also sending Hitler and Fegelein to a random dimension.

Hitler then slowly opened his eyes.

"Ugh...That damn Fegelein..Where am I now?"

Then he checked his surroundings, and noticed it was a bit more colorful, and that he was in a forest, then he checked his body, and what he saw surprised him...

"I'M A HORSE?!?!?!"

He noticed that he was a dark brown unicorn with a black mane and a red Swastika cutie mark , and still having his signature mustache somehow.

"FEGELEIN!!!!!!"

Hitler started punching the ground in anger, while Fegelein got awoken by something touching him.

"N-no Hitler, I won't apologize for my an-"

He got cut off when he opened his eyes, and noticed he was in a hay stack, but was more surprising, was the orange, blonde-maned pony staring at him with confusion.

"GAH! WHAT KIND OF HORSE ARE YOU?!!?"

"Horse? I ain't no horse partner, I'm a pony, and so are you for that matter....What are ya doing in my barn anyway?"

"YOU CAN TALK?! Wait..I'm a pony?!"

Fegelein then checked his body to see that he was cream colored with a light brown mane pegasus, and with a deck of cards Joker as his cutie mark.

"Well of course I can talk! What happened? Did ya hit yer head on somethin'?

"This is just a payback antic by the Fuhrer, right?"

"Fuhrer? Antic? What are ya blabbering on about?"

"Ugh..This must be real....Do you have a name?"

"Of course I have a name! It's Applejack, but ya can call me AJ.....Whats yours?"

"Fegelein."

"Fegelein? Thats a weird name.."

Applejack started eying him suspiciously, while he was deep in thought.

"Nevermind, just call me..Erm....Fege-mane."

"Still weird..But I ain't gonna judge...So anyway..Ya new in Ponyville?"

Fegelein started laughing.

"Ponyville? Seriously? Am I in a little girl's world?"

"No, yer in the real world, and whats so funny about Ponyville? Mah family created Ponyville!"

"Oh..Right..Um..Would you by any chance have seen a human..Or a pony, with a stupid mustache?"

"Human? Whats a human?"

Fegelein facehoofed

"You don't know what a human is?"

Applejack shook her head no.

"It's a long story..."

"Ah see....Anyway, would ya like to go in the barn and explain everything?"

"Um..Its not like I have a choice anyway..."

Hitler was walking in the Everfree forest for about an hour now.

"That...Fucking...Fegelein...FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN!"

Then he noticed something moving in the bushes.

"Who's there? Show yourself at once!"

Then a cream colored pony with a pink mane came out.

"O-oh I'm sorry I just thought you-"

Hitler then started backing away from Fluttershy

"Erm..D-don't worry..I'm just trying to help.."

She started walking closer to him, making him back up to a tree, then as soon as she came too close, he smacked her across the face, leaving a red mark, and making her fly away, crying.

"HOLY JEWS! A TALKING PONY! THAT CAN FLY!"

Hitler then shook his head, and continued walking, until a bear roared.

"What was that?!"

A bear jumped in front of him, and roared at Hitler's face.

"NEIN! I'm too Nazi to die!"

Fluttershy then suddenly appeared from behind the bear.

"Oh don't hit him, Mr.Bear..I'm pretty sure he was just scared..."

Hitler was confused, both for how she has actually calmed down the bear, and for why she did that, even though he slapped her.

"W-whats going on?"

"O-oh um..This bear was just...Kinda angry that you hit me..But I'm sure it was just an accident, right?"

Hitler thought it is best to agree so the bear doesn't hit him.

"Uhh....Ja, it was an accident."

Hitler said, smiling and laughing nervously.

"W-wait..What does 'Ja' mean?"

"Its an erm..Way of saying yes where I come from..."

Hitler was amazed on how quickly he got used to the pony, he felt there was something about her that calmed him down.

"W-whats your name anyway?"

"Hitler."

"Hitler? That's a weird name for a pony...."

"Well uh...Mind making a new one for me to fit in?"

"A pony that doesn't know how to make a pony name?"

She eyed him suspiciously.

"Oh um...I uh...I'm from a far away place..."

"Well okay...."

"And uh..Would you mind not changing my name too much?"

"Hm...Does 'Hoofler' sound nice?"

Hitler mumbled under his breath.

"Ugh...That's the worst name I have heard of Er..Good name! Thanks!"

Fluttershy smiled.

"I think you have something on your face though..."

Hitler was freaking out the closer Fluttershy got to his face, then she started trying to get his mustache off.

"What are you doing?!"

"I think you got some mud there"

"That's my mustache!"

"That's a mustache? Oh..Sorry!"

Fluttershy then backed up with a sheepish smile and a *Squee*, Hitler, or Hoofler as he is called now, was confused with the sudden squee sound, but then shook it off as another weird thing in this world. Then his stomach rumbled.

"Do you have any food? I could really go for a steak..."

"A S-STEAK?!? Oh wait..You must be joking..Hehe.."

She then laughed nervously and Hitler raised an eyebrow.

"Why would I be joking?"

"B-but ponies are herbivores..."

She slowly started backing away, and Hitler noticed that he would lose his chance at survival in this world if he let her go.

"I mean..Yeah! I was joking!"

"So um....If you want..I can make you some food."

"Good, I was hungry."

Hitler and Fluttershy then walked back to her cottage, Hitler was shocked as soon as he saw all the animals.

"Wow..You must...Really like animals..."

"Oh yes, I'm Ponyville's animal caretaker."

Hitler started laughing loudly.

"Ponyville? What kind of stupid name is that?! Hah!"

Fluttershy was a bit irritated, but she thought its probably because he's from a far away foreign land.

Back at Applejack's barn, Applebloom ran to Fegelein.

"Hi mister! Are ya new here?"

"Even smaller hors-"

Applejack then gave him a bump with her hoof.

"I mean, Hi, my name is Fege-Mane, whats yours?"

"Mah name is Applebloom! Nice ta meet ya!"

"What a nice little er..Pony you are, Applebloom."

"Thanks, mister!"

"Anyway, Lil' sis, this pony here is new to Ponyville, and...He's pretty weird..So I'm gonna go talk with him in the barn..You go play with your friends, if ya want."

"Thanks big sis!"

Applebloom then ran off to play with the CMC and Fegelein and Applejack got inside the barn, and Big Macintosh and Granny Smith were there.

"Hiya, Granny. Hiya Big Mac."

"Eeeyup."

"Howdy, AJ, who's that? Is he yer coltfriend?"

Applejack blushed.

"N-no! He's just somepony I found in our haystacks, Granny!"

Fegelein and Granny Smith started laughing, and Big Macintosh let out his own little chuckle himself.

"Anyway Fege-Mane, why were ya in our haystacks?"

"Well..I got through this portal and-"

"So its a unicorn spell gone wrong?"

"Wait a second..Unicorns?!"

"Um, duh, you don't know what unicorns are?"

"Where I come from, there are only normal ponies!"

"So earth pony? Wait a second...You're a Pegasus yourself!"

"So you're telling me that these wings are real?"

"Of course they are! A Pegasus that doesn't know if his wings are real?! That's a new one!"

"W-wait..If I got sent here..Then that must mean that...'He' got sent here too..."

"Who's 'He'?"

"A...Pretty evil guy..."

"Then we'll just use the elements of harmony!"

"The elements of what? Anyway..I know only one thing that could stop him..."

"And that is?"

Fegelein smirked.

"Antics."

A/N

So...Should I continue with this? Or is this a bad idea? Tell me what you think in the comments!

A/N

An Ally's Arrival

Mein Little Fuhrer...Mein Little Fuhrer...

Ahhhhhh.....

Mein Little fuhrer

I used to wonder what Nazi could be

Mein little Fuhrer

Until you shared its jews with me

Mein little fuhrer

Big adventure

Tons of puns

A Nazi heart

Fegelein's antics going strong

Angering the Fuhrer

It's an easy feat!

And antics makes it all complete

Mein Little fuhrer...

Did you know that most of these antics were fegelein'sssssss?

Back at Fluttershy's cottage, Hitler looked at all of the animals, he was amazed at how well she takes care of them.

"So um..Do you want to meet some of the animals?"

Hitler wasn't going to take any chances of him being spot as a non-pony, so he simply nodded.

"Oh thats good, we'll start with the nice animals"

Hitler forced a smile, but deep down, he wants to strangle the shit out of Fegelein. Fluttershy walked him to some birds and other creatures, then he came upon Angel.

"This is Angel Bunny, say hi Angel."

Angel just looked at Hitler with an angry look.

"Hm, this bunny seems like a true Nazi..."

"Whats a Nazi?"

"I'll explain later..Lets just continue meeting these..Friends of yours.."

Fluttershy continued going past more animals, until they got near an area full of bears and other normally hostile creatures. Hitler was scared shitless.

"YOU CRAZY BITCH THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL NICE?!?!"

He started flipping out, then by accident, he charged up his horn and teleported to Canterlot. Unicorns started having interest in the sudden unicorn that appeared out of nowhere.

"Woah, where did you come from?"

"Some stupid place called Ponyville.." Said Hitler absentmindedly

"Wait a second...You teleported all the way from Ponyville..and to Canterlot?! You must be very good at magic!"

Hitler jumped from shock.

"TELEPORTED?! CANTERLOT?! MAGIC?! Gr.....FEGELEIN I'LL KILL YOU!"

Hitler shouted at the sky in anger.

"Who's 'Fegelein'? Anyway..Can you teach me some magic?"

"Yeah teach us some magic, strange mustache pony!"

A lot of the unicorns crowded around him, Hitler saw this as an opportunity to make another Nazi party in this world.

"I mean um...Yes! I shall teach you..But first..Don't you think those winged ponies are taking our rights?"

"You mean Pegasi? I don't think they are taking unicorn rights..."

Hitler started thinking for a bit.

"What can they do that we can't?"

"Well..Pegasi can fly..And earth ponies are really strong...But all of this can be accomplished through magic.."

"Exactly! Why should we keep Pegasi and earth ponies here, when us unicorns are better than them?"

"Hey thats racist!" Said a Pegasus

"The strange pony is right though...Why SHOULD we keep them anyway? Unicorns are obviously the more evolved version..Having unicorns only would help ponykind....Unicorns, this strange pony is right! We should rid Equestria from Pegasi and Earth Ponies!"

Most of the Canterlot unicorns cheered, then five started heading straight to the pegasi, but then the Pegasi flew away.

"What is your name, leader?"

Hitler chuckled evilly

"You can call me Hoofler....FOLLOWERS! LETS ATTACK PONYVILLE!"

The ponies cheered, then they started walking to Ponyville.

Back at the barn, Applejack was confused.

"How do ya expect us to stop somepony with pranks?"

"It's his weak point..."

"I think ya should talk to Twilight about it..."

"Who?"

"Nevermind, just come with me."

Applejack gestured for Fegelein to follow her, then he reluctantly agreed and started following her to the library, as soon as they got close, they heard screaming.

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU WEIRD HORSE!" Said a familiar voice that Fegelein knew well.

"NO! YOU'D BE A BREAKTHROUGH IN SCIENCE AND MAGIC! LET ME STUDY YOU!"

Applejack and Fegelein then entered the library.

"Twi? Whats going on?!"

Twilight then pointed to a puppy sitting on the table.

"A talking puppy! Could you believe it?!"

"I'm not a puppy!"

Fegelein started studying the puppy by looking at it, then he noticed glasses were on the puppy, Fegelein had a suspicion on who this puppy may really be.

"Himmler?"

"Fegelein?!"

"Himmler!"

"Fegelein!"

Then they both jumped into each others arms/hooves and gave a hug that is similar to those sappy romance hugs in slow motion.

"What happened to you, Fegelein?"

"The name is Fege-Mane now...And...I think you already know...With the uh...Weapon."

Himmler looked at him with confusion.

"I think you need a new name too, Himmler."

"Why?"

"Just trust me on this one.."

"How about Himm-Dawg then?"

Fegelein and Himmler started laughing at the name.

"Sounds good."

"You two know each other?" Said Twilight with confusion

"Well yes, this is himm-"

They got cut off when Fluttershy barged in the library

"Twilight, you have to help me! I found this new unicorn, and now, he's suddenly gone! I think he used magic to teleport!"

Fegelein raised an eyebrow.

"New pony?"

Fluttershy nodded, then she gasped in surprise and hid behind her mane

"A-are you a new pony too?"

"Yes..Would that pony happen to have a weird mustache?"

Fluttershy seemed confused.

"Yes..."

"Then we're screwed."

"Not really, Fege-Mane...I assume you already know his weak point?"

"Yes I do, Himm-Dawg..But how do we find the necessary antic equipment here?"

"I have a friend..She's called Pinkie Pie..She's a prankster..Along with Rainbow Dash."

"Seems like we have extra allies, Fege-Mane."

"Quite...Where is this pony?"

Twilight then gave them directions, and Fegelein and Himmler galloped/Ran out of the library, and to Sugercube corner.

"WAIT! WHERE ARE Y'ALL GOING?!"

They both continued running away like an Ash and Pikachu, not caring for Applejack. They both barged in Sugercube corner.

"Where is the prankster pony?!"

Pinkie appeared from behind them.

"Here I am! Silly!"

"GAH! HOLY SHIT!"

"So why did you call me a prankster pony?"

"We need someone to do-"

"I think you mean 'Somepony'"

"Right..We need somepony to help us with antics to save...Ponyville....."

"Lets just go to my prank storage area then!"

She then led them to a secret room, full of prank items.

"You think this will be enough, Himm-dawg?"

Fegelein looked at Himmler with a smirk, and Himmler returned it.

"Oh yes, this will be great."