Twilight's fucking pissed off and needs to shed blood
“What a beautiful day to push Applejack down a fucking flight of stairs, don’t you think spike?” Twilight said as she woke up.
“Um...I guess so? Why do you want to do this?” Spike asked.
“Because that dumb fucking horse that no one cares about should be thrown down a moderately large flight of stairs!” Twilight said
“Oh...makes sense I guess...” Spike said.
--------------------------------APPLEJACK’S STUPID BARN, HOUSE, SHACK----------------------
“Oh my! What a darn good ol’ day it is! I sure hope no one kidnaps me, and pushes me down a flight of stairs or sometin!” Applejack said.
“Hey Applejack!” Big Mac said.
“Howdy big ol’ brother o’ mine! How goes it?” Applejack said.
“Well let’s see. You’re a mistake.” Big Mac said.
“...excuse me?” Applejack said, confused.
“I mean you weren’t meant to be born. No one cares about you, not even grandma. You wanna know why we don’t have any parents? Because after you were born they killed themselves.”
“But, then how was Scootaloo born?”
“She was adopted. As I was saying, before you interrupted me. All those people you call your friends aren’t even your friends. The damn author kills you off in almost every story he writes, except the one where you were supposed to die. But that’s because he enjoys being an ironic asshole. I doubt anyone even considers you their favorite character in this dumb show for either little girls or overweight neckbearded losers. Your fur is orange...who the hell’s fur is orange? That’s right, no other character’s fur is orange!”
“But Scootaloo’s fur is orange?”
I don’t consider her a pony, anyway you’re such a dumb git and I hope you get thrown down a fucking flight of stairs. Big mac finished.
“Mighty kind of you Big Mac. Bye!” Applejack says.
“Kill yourself, failed abortion.” Big mac retorted.
Then Applejack wandered off, hoping to find a nice place to lounge on this beautiful day.
“TWILIGHT! I SAID APPLEJACK ISN’T HERE! PLEASE STOP! YOU’RE RUINING ALL MY PERFECTLY SEWN DRESSES!” Rarity yelled.
“Shut up you idiotic twat! My thirst for watching another pony’s body ragdoll down an entire fucking flight of stairs is mighty! Be grateful, foolish mortal, for I, Twilight Sparkle shall quench this thirst upon a character no one cares about, and not someone as important yet annoying as you!” as Twilight said this there seemed to be what looked like fire in her eyes.
“Alright geez, just leave already.” Rarity said.
Twilight rampaged throughout the town, looking for Applejack. On her rampage she burned down at least nine buildings. No one was foolish enough to get in her way.
“Ah, here we are. Ah finally found a nice place to rest at. Right at the top of the flight of stairs leading to Celestia’s castle.” Applejack said as she nustled into a comfortable position.
“W-What the fuck?” Celestia said as she stared out the window at Applejack, who didn’t even know she was watching.
“What’s wrong dearest sister of mine?” Luna said.
“Someone left another stray animal on our porch.” Celestia said.
“Shall we go deal with it ourselves, or let the guards chase it away?” Luna asked.
“Let’s deal with it.” Celestia said.
“Good, go on without me. I’ll be there momentarily. I must grab my beating stick first.” Luna said.
“Of course sister!” Celestia said.
Applejack heard the doors to the castle open behind her and turned her head to look. “Who’s there?”
“Oh gee, I can’t imagine who would be walking out the front door to the prince's castle.” Celestia said sarcastically.
“Oh, why howdy there Ms. Celestia!” Applejack says.
“What asshole left you on my porch? Don’t you know there’s a kennel like, two miles down the road?” Celestia said.
“ah’m not lookin’ for tha’ kennel Celestia. I’m just lookin’ for a nice place to snooze.” Applejack said innocently.
“......So you chose to sleep at the top of my stairs?” Celestia asked.
“Why yes, yes ah did.” Applejack said.
“...I can’t believe i'm saying this but fine, you can sleep there for awhile. Just don’t disturb anyone, and don’t dirty my stairs. Also, don’t stay too long. I think your south is getting all over our lawn.” Celestia said as her front stairs slowly turned into a poorly crafted wooden porch and her carriage started growing into a pickup truck.
“Alrighty then mam.”
“...Wait...so you’re saying we're not gonna beat her?” Luna stood in the doorway, holding a cane and wearing a chain gimp suit and ball gag.
“No sister, we're not going to this time. My dearest apologies.” Celestia said.
“Fine, I’ll just have to beat one of our guards again. SOMEONE GET OVER HERE SO I CAN BEAT YOU!” Luna yelled as you could hear muffled groans coming from the inside of the castle.
“WHERE IS SHE!? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” Twilight yelled as a crowd of townsfolk crowded around her. “I’LL SLAUGHTER EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU FOR THE GLORIOUS BLOOD GOD IF YOU DON’T TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!”
“None of us know Twilight! Please just calm down!” Snowflake said.
“I CAN FEEL THE WARP OVERTAKING ME...it’s a good feeling...isn’t it?” Twilight said before pulling out a chainsword and eviscerating at least three ponies before everyone started fleeing. The entire middle of the town was now repainted red and had intestines hanging from the trees. In the midst of all the screaming you could almost hear a rather demonic voice saying “good job” as though someone was commemorating Twilight.
“Gosh, I almost got carried away there. I forgot that she might be at Celestia’s castle. Twilight said, covered in the crimson red blood of some townsfolk.
“YOU!” Twilight screamed.
“Me?” Applejack said.
“YES YOU! I’VE SPENT ALL DAY SEARCHING FOR YOU!” Twilight yelled.
“Gee wizz, all day? Does someone finally care about little ol’ me?” Applejack said.
“What? No! I came here to throw you down this entire fucking flight of stairs!” Twilight said.
“Aw hell naw! You’ll never catch me alive!” Applejack then took a sawed off shotgun out of her pocket and placed the barrel into her mouth. When she pulled the trigger a viscera of blood sprayed in all directions, covering a pretty large portion of the castle door. There were chunks of brain and skull scattered all over the stairs. After her body lifelessly stood there for a second, it flopped down the stairs and landed right at Twilight’s feet, almost as though Applejack was spiting her from the dead.
“What’s all the racket? Why did someone paint our front door and some of our stairs red? And where’s Applejack?” Celestia asked.
“...Oh you know...she’s there...and I can see some of her over there….oh and there’s a piece of her at the top of the stairs.” Twilight said. As she said it she only grew angrier as the empty void inside of her still wasn’t filled.
“What’s wrong Twilight?” Celestia asked.
“I have a fever. One that can only be cured by throwing some useless character no one cares about down a flight of fucking stairs...but what other character is there that no one cares about or likes?”
“Oh! I know, you can go throw Fluttershy down a fucking flight of stairs. She is the second worst character!” Celestia said as she stared into the nonexistent camera and smiled.
“But I burned down her house by mistake! Where else could she be?” Twilight asked Celestia.
“The only other place I can think of would be the town’s whore house. She’s probably there trying to sell her body so she can buy a new house.” Celestia said.
“Geez, it’s kinda small don’t you think? How are you supposed to fit that inside of me?” Fluttershy asked the Prophet Mohammed.
“What can I say, Allah didn’t make me to have big schlong!” Mohammed said.
Before Fluttershy could respond, Twilight busted the door down. “FLUTTERSHY YOU’RE COM-what...Prophet Mohammed...is that you?” Twilight said, confused.
“Why yes, it is. Horse, goat, same difference if you ask me!”
“Whatever, Fluttershy! You slut! Come with me, it’s important!” Twilight said urgently.
“W-well if it’s important.” Fluttershy said nervously and followed Twilight.
Twilight used her dark magic to open a portal to King Sambre’s dimension.
“Who dare stumble upon my infinite staircase!?” Sambre screamed.
“Hey, can I borrow your stairs?” Twilight said.
“...How many of them?”
“ALL OF THEM!”
“Um...okay I guess.”
Twilight brought Fluttershy to the top of the stairs. “A-Alright Twilight...what’s so important?” Fluttershy asked.
Twilight was able to feel a bead of sweat dripping from her brow. Her eyes widened in a state of ecstasy as she thought about poor Fluttershy falling down a fucking flight of stairs. She finally opened up her mouth, having a hard time containing the drool. “Everyone knows Skyrim belongs to the nords!” Then Twilight pushed Fluttershy violently down the fucking flight of stairs.
“Curse you filthy Stormcloaks!” Fluttershy yelled before falling senselessly to her doom. Twilight stood at the top, enjoying every sound she heard as Fluttershy’s body hit every stair, slowly losing her grip on life one by one. With every stair came the sound of bones crunching and muscle tearing. There was even the slight sound of blood dripping from stair to stair, slowly catching up with Fluttershy’s fast falling and almost lifeless body. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Twilight could hear the final thud of what was left of Fluttershy’s body hit the bottom stair. Twilight then slowly descended down the stairs, taking note of every ounce of blood, bone, and skin scattered about the stairs. She embraced the warm, wet feeling under hooves as she stepped through the blood. Every step she took was filled with intense amounts of euphoria. When she finally reached the bottom she saw a great sight. Fluttershy’s body laid mangled at the bottom. Every bone in her body seemed to be broken, for there was no other way her body can twist and bend in such ways. Her skull, broken into many pieces, sat upon the ground as the last bits of brain slowly made it’s way out of her head. Ironically one of her eyeballs was turned right towards Twilight, as though it was ready to happily greet her as she observed her magnificent results. Twilight then returned home, happy that she finally was able to get that off her chest. What a fine day it was for somepony to be lunged down a fucking flight of stairs.
Author's Note
you can reach me at G A B E N @valvesoftware.com. and have fun :^)
