Author's Note

I have returned once more to post to this story. Just wanted to let you know that I am trying to post more than once a year on this bad boy. Right now the plan is to finish this arc and then maybe post some flashback chapters. Fill you in on what wandering Vash was up to.

Bad Moon Rising Pt. 1

(Vash PoV:)

Ten years passed in the blink of an eye. After nearly a millennium of wandering I'd taken up roots. Not a bad change of pace if I do say so myself. In the time I'd spent in Canterlot my magitech engine research had made major headway. I’d made it past the prototype stage and was ready to be implemented into my very own vehicle. All I needed was the go ahead from Celestia on using the performance field normally reserved for the Wonderbolts and I’d be able to put The Deuce through her paces.

“How’s the energy readout looking, Sunny?” I questioned, not looking up from adjusting the wheel suspension on the front driver’s side axle. Putting down my socket wrench, I tapped the coil spring to give it a quick feel. The tension felt perfect, not that I ever doubted my handiwork.

“Holding a charge just like the projections suggested,” the somewhat raspy voice of Sunset called back, her horn glowing as she sent a beam into the hood. In her hands was a measurement device with a needle readout. Cutting off the beam, she switched her magic to work the ignition. With a rumbling purr, the black coupe came to life. The car shuddered in place, as if begging to race along the roads of Equestria. “She idles fine too.” Putting down her equipment, she cut the engine. “Color me impressed, Vash. You managed to invent something that works.”

Shooting up, I glared at the smug looking unicorn. “Hey! The arc cannon will work! I just have to figure out how to get a more focused electrical discharge without creating something that’ll cause The Deuce to tip over if she takes a turn too hard.”

Quirking a brow, the young mare tapped a hand on the driver’s door. “Why does this thing need heavy artillery like that anyway? Isn’t this enough of an achievement by itself?”

Grinning, I answered, “Same reason I insisted we added the flames because they’re awesome! Plus, considering how common repelling monsters is for guards in various towns, having a new type of weapon for something the size of a building would likely be appreciated.”

“That… is honestly a really coherent point,” my clever apprentice stated, her face scrunched up as she examined the car. “And having that mounted to a vehicle means that it could be easily maneuvered around the threat.”

As scary as it was, Sunset had grown to understand my thought process through the years. If not for her help the engine could’ve easily taken a few more years. Not to mention the tweaks she’d made to The Deuce itself. Her shaping of the crystal wires had boosted energy efficiency by fifteen percent.

Before I could respond, the door to the workshop was flung open and Twilight rushed down the steps with Spike in tow. Held in her magic was a letter with Tia’s seal on it. There was a proud smile splitting her face while Spike was just shaking his head in irritation. It was clear, today was a day that Twilight was fixating on something, and Spike was background noise to her.

“Sunset! Do you remember what we were talking about this morning?” Twilight’s words almost seemed to bleed into each other as she zipped over to invade Sunset’s personal space.

Taking a quick step back, the other unicorn nodded. “Of course, the legend of Nightmare Moon and how we’re approaching the thousandth year.”

“Exactly and I had Spike send Princess Celestia a message about our concerns and she’s just sent her response. I’m sure she’s proud of our research and be sure to let us mobilize a search for the Elements of Harmony.” With that, she acknowledged Spike and gave him the sealed scroll. “Now let’s hear what she has to say.”

Clearing his throat, Spike unrolled the letter and began to read. “My dearest and most faithful students Twilight and Sunset. You know that I value your diligence and that I trust you completely.” Twilight and Sunset shared a smug smirk and nodded at the other. “But you simply must stop reading those dusty old books.”

The pair’s egos instantly deflated and they gasped at the phrase. Sunset picked up the baby dragon by the back of his neck like a cat causing him to flinch for a moment. “What?! How could she just disregard our concerns like that? She knows the legend better than anypony, she lived it!”

“Uh, let me keep reading. I’m sure the princess was just about to explain herself,” Spike assured, gesturing to the scroll. With a snort, Sunset let him go so he could continue. “My dear students there’s more to a young pony’s life than just studying and tinkering. So I’m sending you both to supervise the preparations for the Summer Sun celebration at this year’s location for my sun rising, the town of Gunsmoke. And I have an even more essential task for you to complete. Make some friends beside one another. Vash can accompany you as your bodyguard.”

“This has to be a mistake,” Twilight whined, her ears pinning to her head.

“Come on, we need to go talk to her,” Sunset said, storming for the door. “I’m sure we can clear this mess up.”

A couple hours later, we were all gathered into a chariot headed for Gunsmoke. The chariot was being pulled by a pair of pegasi guards that let us soar among the clouds. Sunset and Twilight were dejected, the two of them hanging their heads over the side of the chariot.

“Come on you two, look on the bright side. Princess Celestia has us set up in a library. Aren’t you happy about that?” Spike assured, patting their legs.

The pair pulled themselves up, sharing a glance for a brief moment before Twilight started talking. “Yes it does. Do you know why? Because I’m right.”

“We’ll check the preparations as quickly as possible and then use the library’s resources to shore up our proof of Nightmare Moon’s return,” Sunset concluded, a proud grin settling on her lips.

“Then when are you going to make friends like the princess asked?” Spike asked, glancing between them.

“Spike, Sunset and I are Princess Celestia’s personal student’s. Heck, Sunset is the adopted daughter to the princess. The princess told us to check the preparations. So we will do our royal duty and ensure the celebration goes off without a hitch, but the fate of Equestria does not hinge on us making friends.”

“Pretty sure she said the friend thing was the more imperative duty in that letter,” I commented, leaning against the chariot.

Unfortunately for me, the dynamic duo were back to chattering about their plan, the rest of the world fading from their notice. Glancing down at Spike, the two of us shook our heads.

Not long after that conversation, we touched down in the town proper. The streets were unpaved and the buildings had no unifying design theory to them. What saved the place from looking totally chaotic was the vague sense of city planning in how they were arranged and the fact that most of them were soft pastel colors of some kind. A majority of the buildings seemed to be two stories tall with the ones going beyond that doubling as businesses.

Off in the distance I could see the remains of the aqueduct I’d set up all those years ago as well as the statue dedicated to peace between changelings and ponies. Speaking of changelings, they made up a good chunk of the faces in the milling crowd. Earth ponies seemed to be in the majority with changelings right behind, a smattering of pegasi and unicorns appeared to be in the minority by far. And then there were the naga ponies of each of the three tribes blended into the population.

Putting himself in front of Sunset and Twilight, Spike motioned to a pink earth pony mare walking our way and insisted, “Can’t you two at least try to talk to the ponies here? Who knows, they might have some interesting things to talk about.”

Rolling her eyes, Twilight stepped up to the mare and gave a small wave. “Uh, hi.” The other mare regarded us in silence, blinking slowly. Then, a sharp gasp tore from her throat and she leapt into the air before zipping off. My eyes might’ve been playing tricks on me, but I could’ve sworn she didn’t land before disappearing from view.

“Well, that certainly was interesting,” Sunset deadpanned, pulling out the checklist and walking off with Twilight in tow.

Sighing, Spike hung his head and slowly followed. Deciding to offer what assistance I could, scooped the little drake up and placed him on my shoulders. “Here buddy, let me do the walking for the both of us right now.”

“Thanks Vash,” he said, putting his claws on the side of my neck to help keep his balance.

Our first task on the royal checklist led us to the outskirts of town. Rows and rows of apple trees peppered the landscape. If I had to hazard a guess, there was a branch of the Apple Family located in this town. That stirred something within my memories. I was left to think that over as we approached the main gates of the farm.

“First item on the checklist; banquet preparation headed up by the ponies of Sweet Apple Acres,” Spike recited, having unfurled his own copy of the list.

Before Sunset or Twilight could make a sarcastic quip, a lone pony’s cheer rang out in the air. “Yeehaw!” We all cocked our heads to see an athletic orange pony charging down the field to a tree near us.

To describe her simply would be to just say, stereotypical southern girl fantasy. She had a well worn stetson sitting atop her head with a long blonde mane held in a loose ponytail. Her deep green eyes were framed by a triangle of freckles on each cheek. If there was any ounce of fat on the mare then it was on her glutes. She’d clearly been working the farm all her life given the visible definition all along her frame. In certain places it almost looked like her muscles had muscles. Even the rest of her attire fit the stereotype. A thin flannel shirt tied off under her generous bust to expose her midriff and a pair of denim cutoffs that refused to let go of her hips. When the mare was a few paces away from the tree, she pivoted on one hoof and delivered a mighty kick to the trunk with a thudding sound that reverberated across the field for a moment. A second later and every apple from the tree fell into buckets that had been placed on the ground and the mare couldn’t help but look proud of herself.

Groaning, Twilight approached the mare reluctantly. “Let’s get this over with,” she muttered, stopping in front of the mare. “Hello there, my name’s Twilight Sparkle and I’m-”

Twilight was cut off by the mare pulling her into a vigorous handshake that set the smaller mare bouncing in place. “Well howdy there Miss Twilight. A pleasure making your acquaintance. I’m Applejack, and we here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like makin’ new friends.”

“Friends?” Twilight repeated, still clearly caught off guard. “Actually I-”

Twilight’s thought trailed off as Applejack ended the handshake while Twilight’s hand blindly went up and down. “Now, what can Ah do ya fer?”

Chuckling at Twilight’s predicament, Sunset stepped forward and stated, “We’re actually here to oversee preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. I’m Sunset Shimmer, that’s Vash and Spike over there,” she added, pointing us out. “You’re in charge of the food, right?”

“We sure as sugar are,” Applejack replied, giving Sunset a powerful handshake of her own. “Would you care to sample some?”

“I guess we could, as long as it doesn’t take too long,” Sunset agreed while I gently stopped Twilight’s phantom handshake.

Applejack zipped over to a triangle attached to a homemade gazebo with a picnic table beneath it. Grabbing the dinger, the farm pony gave the triangle a series of rings and called out, “Soup’s on everypony!”

Not a second later there was a thundering of hooves and we all got swept up into a crowd to be placed into seats at the picnic table. “Now allow me to introduce you to the Apple Family.” In a matter of seconds Applejack rattled off dozens of names as more and more dishes were placed onto the table. “And of course we’ve got Big Mac, Apple Bloom and last but not least, Granny Smith.” Tossing a bright green apple into each of our mouths, she waved a hand over to an elderly mare in a rocking chair that I could’ve sworn wasn’t there a second ago. “Up and at ‘em Granny Smith,” Applejack said, gently nudging the chair. “We got company.”

Waking with a start, the green and white mare creaked toward the table while rambling and occasionally making a coherent word every so often.

Grinning, Applejack put a hand on Twilight and Sunset’s shoulders. “Why I’d say you’re already part of the family.”

Spitting out her apple and making a face at the tart taste, Twilight laughed nervously for a bit. “Okay, well we were sent here to check the food preparation and I can see that that’s well taken care of. We should really head out now.”

“Aren’t ya gonna stay for brunch?” the filly Applejack introduced as Apple Bloom questioned. When we turned our heads we were greeted by the biggest set of puppy dog eyes I’d ever seen. The filly had fur the same color as the flesh of an apple and her long mane was the same red as a red delicious apple. Her bright amber eyes were sparkling with moisture that threatened to leak out and her lower lip was trembling like a leaf in the wind.

Seeing her made something click into place inside my mind. From behind the lenses of my sunglasses, I stole glances at her, Big Mac and our original host, Applejack. All of them together made the pieces fall into place and the proverbial puzzle lay complete. I was so distracted by my recollection that I didn’t even notice as Sunset tried to politely decline the offer of the feast. It was only when a collective whine from the assembled Apple clan rang out that I was pulled back into reality.

Hanging their heads, Twilight and Sunset answered in unison, “Fine.”

A cheer rang out among the crowd and food was plated for us. My eyes lit up, threatening to distract me further when I noticed what had been plated before me. A pile of what I could only assume were apple cider donuts laid before me, tempting me with their promised deliciousness.

“Say Applejack,” I started, getting our host’s attention, picking up one of the tasty treats. “You, Big Mac and Apple Bloom wouldn’t happen to be the kids of Bright Mac and Buttercup would you?”

Applejack’s expression fell a bit and Big Mac’s face became a stony mask. Even Granny Smith seemed more alert than she had a moment ago. Removing her hat, Applejack turned it over in her hands.

“That’s right, they’re our folks. But, they ain’t here no more.” She let that statement hang in the air, making it perfectly clear what she meant by that.

I put down my donut and removed my glasses to wipe away the misting I'd given them. "I'm so sorry to hear that. I'd only met them briefly, but they were a lovely couple."

"Forgive me fer sayin' this, Vash was it?" Applejack began, looking me up and down. “But Ah don’t recall Ma and Pa never mentioned meetin’ a fella that looks quite like you.” Her eyes eventually settled on my gun and her eyes widened in recognition. “Wait a minute, were you the one from the train?”

Rubbing the back of my head, I nodded. “Yeah, I met them on a train years ago.”

Big Mac came up to me silently. I didn’t know what to think as he stood a scant few inches away from me. Even though he was a couple inches shorter than me I felt very small beneath his gaze. In an instant, I was pulled into a bone crushing bear hug.

"Thank ya fer savin' mah sister," he said softly, voice hitching in his throat.

I patted the red stallion’s back and smiled back at him. “I’ve never been one to sit back when robbers are about. You’re welcome.”

“What’s this about savin’ yer sister?” Apple Bloom questioned, looking between her immediate family. “Did somethin’ happen t’Applejack?”

Smilin’ sadly, Applejack patted her sister’s head. “Big Mac was talkin’ ‘bout you. Sugarcube. Ya wouldn’t remember cuz y’all were in Ma’s belly.” Turning back to me, she gave me a nod. “Why don’t we have Vash here tell the story? He was there afterall.”

Glancing around me, I was met with a crowd of expectant faces especially those of the trio I had come with. Chuckling, I relented and began to weave my tale. The crowd hung on my every word, laughing when I emphasized my ways around using my gun. When I was finished, several of the older stallions pulled out flasks of their own brand of apple brews as a show of respect and poured me out a few drinks. Even Granny Smith perked up to say thanks, promising to set aside a jar of her signature zap apple jam for me when the season arrived.

By the time we left Sweet Apple Acres, all four of us looked like we’d gained twenty pounds. The bevy of apple themed treats proved too much for us. Spike was hit the worst, forced to sit on my shoulders when his legs refused to carry him. Either that or he just really wanted more piggyback rides.

"Ugh, I don't think I'll ever eat again," Twilight groaned, holding her stomach.

"Is it possible to have apple-related PTSD?" Sunset inquired, loosening her belt. "What's next on the list, Spike?"

Spike unrolled the list again, his eyes roving over the parchment for a moment. “Uh, that’d be the clearing out of the clouds that’s being handled by somepony named Rainbow Dash.”

“Then she’s not doing a very good job,” Twilight noted, waving a hand at the sky. “There’s clouds every-”

Twilight’s sentence was cut off by a rainbow streak crashing into the mare and sent her careening into a nearby mud puddle. When things settled, we were able to make out a sky blue pegasus mare sprawled out on top of Twilight. She was short, maybe five foot two if she really stood up straight. On top of that she was lithe, her body streamlined in the way you typically see in a swimmer or gymnast. Her muscles didn't bulge out, rather looking more like tightly wound steel cables. Her mane and tail were a literal rainbow, looking well kept (tousled state notwithstanding) but with no real style to them. Her attire was simple, black yoga pants and a sports bra with the pants having a design of a white cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt zigzagging out sewn onto the back pocket.

Picking herself up, the pegasus took notice of Twilight beneath her and began to chuckle as she picked herself up. “Uh, excuse me?” she said leaning over Twilight. Flapping her wings, she let herself hang a few feet in the air. “Let me help you.” She zipped off, the mud covering her flying off from the speed she was going.

“Shouldn’t you tell that mare you have a spell for cleaning things?” I whispered, watching as the pegasus grabbed a cloud and brought it over to Twilight.

“Should I, yes,” Sunset agreed with a nod. A beat later and an evil smirk crossed her lips. “Will I, no. I wanna see where this goes.”

“Is this payback for Twilight borrowing your blouse last week without asking?” I deadpanned.

“Maaaybe~” Sunset replied all too sweetly.

I returned my attention to Twilight, finding the pegasus jumping on the cloud to create a literal rainshower. The sports bra did its job, preventing the solid B cups on the mare from bouncing much from the vigorous motions. When the mare was done, Twilight was looking like a soaked cat with an expression to match.

Peering over the cloud to examine her handiwork, the pegasus tried and failed to suppress her laughter upon seeing the dripping unicorn. “Guess I overdid it there, huh?” Kicking the cloud apart, the mare started to flit around Twilight. Her eyes lit up and she started to quickly fly around. “Let me try my patented Rain-Blow Dry!” she called out, creating a rainbow-colored tornado around our bookish friend. She stopped on a dime, looking proud of herself. “No, no, don’t thank me, it was the least I could do.” When the mare stopped patting herself on the back, she found Twilight’s mane and tail were a frizzy and curled up mess. Unable to stop herself, the pegasus fell over laughing with Sunset and Spike joining in. Not me though. I definitely didn’t laugh at Twilight’s misfortune.

“Let me guess, you’re Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked, irritation bleeding into her tone.

The recognition made the mare light up and she struck a pose. “The one and only. Why, heard of me?”

“We’ve heard that you’re supposed to be clearing the clouds out of the sky,” Sunset interjected, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. “Hi, Sunset Shimmer and the princess sent Twilight there and I to make sure things go off without a hitch for the Summer Sun Celebration.”

Lazily flying up, Dash gave a dismissive snort and lounged on a nearby cloud. “That’ll be easy. I’ll get that done super quick once I get some more practice in.”

“Practice for what?” Twilight inquired, quirking a brow.

“The Wonderbolts!” Dash chirped, pointing to a convenient poster on a nearby wall. “They’re performing here tomorrow and I wanna show my stuff to them.”

“The Wonderbolts?” Twilight questioned.

“Yup.”

“The most talented fliers in all of Equestria?” Sunset pressed.

“That’d be them.”

Twilight scoffed, shaking her head. “Oh please, the Wonderbolts would never accept a pegasus who couldn’t even keep the sky clear of clouds for a single day.”

Shooting off her cloud, Dash glared at Twilight. “Hey, if I wanted to, I could clear the sky in ten seconds flat!”

“Prove it,” Sunset challenged, narrowing her eyes and her smirk growing.

Standing up on her cloud, Dash zipped off without a word. She became a rainbow blur as she tore through clouds. She was moving so fast that even I was having trouble keeping track of her. Just as promised, in ten seconds the last cloud was fading away into wisps and Dash was landing in front of us to strike a pose.

“What’d I tell ya?” Dash said, justifiably proud of her work. “I’d never leave Ponyville hanging.” Sunset and Twilight didn’t respond, their mouths agape at the spectacle they just bore witness to. Laughing, Rainbow started to slowly fly around us and hovered around the two mares. “Heh, you should see the looks on your faces. You guys are a riot. Can’t wait to hang out some more.” With that, the pegasus took off again.

Shaking her head, Sunset took notice of Twilight’s mane again, poking at the curls. Twilight gave Sunset a flat look as the orange unicorn snickered. Turning away, Twilight began to walk towards the nearby building marked as the town hall.

“Don’t be upset, Twi!” Spike called out, leaning from around my shoulder. “It’s really pretty once you get used to it!”

Inside the town hall, all manners of banners depicting a stylized version of Tia and the ponies enjoying her sun. “Decorations.” Glancing around the room, Spike’s eyes settled on a spot. “Beautiful,” he said, a breathy sigh escaping his lips.

“Yes, the decor is coming along rather nicely. We should be able to make it to the library in no time.”

“Not the decor, her!” He pointed a claw to the unicorn naga pony at the set up stage area.

She had a curled violet mane coiffed to perfection that hung down to the middle of her back. She wore a simple black dress that contrasted her white scales and fur, though there was a bit of a shimmer to the fabric that hinted at something more going on with it.

Seeing the hearts dancing in Spike’s eyes, I set him down on the floor. “Alright little man, all your training has led up to this moment. Now, recite stage one before I let you make your move,” I said, kneeling before him and boring into his very soul with my gaze.

Tapping his fist to his chest, Spike stood at attention. “All mares are princesses. A true gentleman treats them thusly.”

“That’s my boy, now show me what you got, tiger.”

I gave him a gentle push and the little drake began to strut over to the mare. Taking a moment to check his breath on his claw, Spike cleared his throat to get her attention. “I have to say, these decorations are amazing. Why, they’re the second most lovely thing in the room.”

While Sunset and Twilight rolled their eyes at the pickup line I pumped my fist. His execution was flawless and he even remembered to put on a winning smile after he did so. The little guy had taken my lessons to heart.

Giggling, the nagapony turned to the source of the compliment. “Well aren’t you a little cha-” Her sentence hung unfinished in the air as her gaze settled on Twilight. Or rather, Twilight’s mane. “Oh my goodness!” She dashed forward with the speed of a viper, knocking over Spike as collateral as she circled Twilight and ran her hands along the mane to assess the damage. “What happened to your coiffure, darling?”

“That’s kind of a long story,” Twilight answered, chuckling a bit. “We’re just here to check the decorations and then we’ll be out of your hair.”

“Out of my hair, what about your hair?” Using her tail, the naga dragged Twilight by the wrist out of the room. Twilight tried to protest, but the naga’s grip was steadfast. We followed after the pair, amused by the protesting mare’s plight.

In a matter of minutes we were in the naga’s boutique with Twilight being forced into all manners of outfits and manestyles. We also learned her name was Rarity. The last outfit was a sleek white number with a built in corset that was lined with gems. Hiding the clasp was a sizable emerald that rested just below Twilight’s chest. Rarity tightened the corset, causing Twilight to let out a weak wheeze as her waist was cinched in and her chest was pushed up.

“Now, you were telling me where you’re all from.”

“We’ve been sent from Canterlot-” Sunset started, only for Rarity’s eyes to light up and her grip to disappear from the straps. With the tension released, Twilight went flying a couple feet and faceplanted.

“Did you say Canterlot?!” Rarity exclaimed with a squeal. “It’s always been my dream to live there. I am so envious. The fashion, the sophistication and not to mention all the influential ponies there.” With a soft smile, she took Twilight and Sunset’s hands and put them in her own. “Oh you simply must tell me all about it some time. Oh, we're going to be the best of friends.” As she savored the moment, her eyes settled on me, finally taking a moment to process me. She lit up, slithering over to me. “Oh my Celestia, grandfather!” she cheered, wrapping me in a naga’s famous bone crushing hug.

I managed to free my real arm to return the hug and managed a weak smile. “Oh, so you recognize me?”

“Of course I do, darling!” Sensing my distress, Rarity loosened the hug to the point where I could easily breathe. “Any naga worth their scales knows of Vash the Stampede and his statue in the castle garden of Canterlot. Not to mention my personal idol is Morning Glory. Her fashion lines speak to my very soul.” She unwrapped me, clapping her hands together. “I’m going to brew us some tea and you simply must tell me everything you know about her upcoming collection. She’s been so tightlipped that nopony knows even a hint of what’s in store.”

Humming to herself, she disappeared into another room. Lighting up her magic, Twilight rushed us out of the boutique. “Hurry, before she decides to dye my coat a different color!”

We only stopped running when the boutique was well out of view. Checking the list, Sunset and Twilight were relieved to learn we’d finally made it to the last item for the preparations. Our wandering led us to the town’s park.

As we walked my mind did some wandering of its own. I had met a few versions of these ponies before, gotten to know some more than others. Especially Jason’s versions. More than just the superficial differences like outward appearance, there were the differences in attitude. Some of it might just be chalked up to age and maturity. But there were some things that just made me think there was more to it than that. It really just let it sink in how much of an affect those of us that get displaced can have. Diverting my thoughts back to Jason and his mares, I’d have to call them over for a visit some time. Toya’s birthday was coming up and I’m sure he’d be happy to have his mother be there.

I was pulled out of my musings by what sounded like a chorus of bird songs. When I looked down, I saw that Twilight had already trudged through a bush towards the source of the noise. Which was pretty dumb for a smart mare like her. I mean, there was an easy way around it. Now I’d have to go buy some flea and tick wash for her.

A few moments later Spike decided to follow after by going around the bush.Barely a second after he strolled out there was an exclamation of, “A baby dragon!”

I shot forward, several memories coming flooding back. Not too many ponies were typically thrilled to see a dragon, even a baby one. While most wouldn’t openly say or do anything, every once in a while there were some panicky ponies that would let their fight or flight instincts lead them to do something they’d regret. Just as I was about to move in to shield the little guy, I saw that what I thought was a scared reaction was quite the opposite.

“He’s so cute!” A butter yellow pegasus cooed, leaning down to fawn over the little drake. She had a long pink mane that curled slightly at the ends, her mane hanging down to cover one of her turquoise eyes. Judging by how much of her was hunched over, it was fair to guess that she was taller than average for a mare.

“Well, I do try to take care of myself,” Spike replied, puffing up and preening at his spines on his head.

“Oh my goodness, you can talk. I had no idea that dragons could talk. This is just the most amazing thing, I don’t even know what to say.”

Spike was suddenly grabbed in Twilight’s magic and was plopped down on her shoulders. “In that case we’d better get going.” Motioning for us to follow, Twilight started to walk down the path.

Following after, the pegasus kept her eyes trained on Spike. She was wearing a soft green sweater and a long skirt. It was clear that she was trying to be modest, but there was no hiding the trademark subtle wibble wobble beneath the baggy fabric that implied mountainous mammaries that could not escape my keen eyes. If my guess was right, which in these matters they usually were, then this mare might even rival Tia in bust.

"Wait, what's his name?" the mare asked, leaning in close to Spike.

"I'm Spike," the drake opted to answer, putting a claw to his chest.

"Hi Spike, I'm Fluttershy," the mare greeted, grinning like a foal on Hearth's Warming. "Oh, this is so exciting. I have so many questions that I just don't know where to start."

"Well, what would you like to know?" Spike asked, his tail swishing as he soaked in the attention.

"Everything," Fluttershy said simply, earning a knowing groan from Sunset and Twilight.

Spike launched into his life story, sparing no detail. Everything from his favorite foods, which gems were his least and most favorite and even breaking down individual days. Fluttershy’s grin only grew as Spike continued his long monologue, only stopping him when he paused for a thought to ask specific questions. Eventually we were outside the library's front door. I had known to expect a literal treehouse from my misadventures in other Equestrias. However, my time in this world gave me context for its presence here. Long ago there was an order of pony druids that learned tree shaping techniques from the deer. I had asked how many wild shapes a day they get, earning laughs from no one nearby. But that’s okay because I did.

Glancing over her shoulder, Twilight eyed Fluttershy up for a moment. Shrugging subtly, she sent Spike tumbling down. “Aww, looks like my poor baby dragon needs his sleep. He’s so tiwed he can’t even keep his widdle bawance. I’d better get him inside now.”

Fluttershy raced into action, scooping Spike up into her arms and hovered in the air. “Poor little baby, you simply must get him to bed.” Swooping down and opening the door, she tried to put Spike to bed herself.

Going in after her, Sunset and Twilight gently took Spike from the pegasus and nudged her out of the library. “We’re on it,” Sunset said, closing the door. “Good night.”

When all four of us were inside my ears picked up on something. The shuffling of hooves. Lots and lots of hooves. Normally, as a bodyguard that’d be my signal to get my charges on the floor and set to work. But I’m anything but a normal bodyguard and I had a good idea of what was about to happen.

“Now that we’re away from all the crazies we can finally work on convincing Mom that Nightmare Moon is returning,” Sunset said, glancing around the room, looking for a light switch.

“I know, we only have so much time to study before the Summer Sun Celebration,” Twilight added, looking around as well. “Now, where’s the light?”

At that signal, the light flicked on and a chorus of ponies cheered, "Surprise!"

Twilight, Sunset and Spike nearly jumped out of their skin while I feigned a reaction. Coming to the forefront of the group was the pink earth pony mare from the beginning of our day. Now that she wasn’t running away, I could get a better look at her. She was plush. Not fat per se but definitely padded in all the expected places and a bit of jiggle right in the middle. She had a creamy yellow top on with a few light blue bows running down the front. She was wearing white shorts that clung on tightly to her extra wide hips and strained to contain her prodigious posterior. I at first thought there were tassels but upon closer inspection were really bits of confetti or streamers she’d attached to the garment. If you included her large poof of curly pink mane then the mare might’ve been five foot four.

“Hey there, I’m Pinkie Pie and I threw this party just for you guys! Were you surprised? Were you, huh, huh, huh?” the pink pony questioned, hopping around us and staring into our very souls with her sky blue eyes. She settled on me, her face scrunching up before she let out a loud gasp. “You weren’t surprised. Not even the tiniest bit.”

Chuckling, I threw up my hands in front of me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was super duper surprised.”

Narrowing her eyes, Pinkie studied me further. “Nuh uh, I’m not buying it. I’ve thrown enough parties to know when somepony’s really surprised and you definitely weren’t surprised.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Sunset and Twilight were using my predicament as a chance to rush away from the crowd and up the stairs to the living area. Poor girls were probably about to blow a gasket from how much attention they’d gotten throughout the day.

Returning my attention to the short stack before me, I put on my most winning grin. “I don’t know what to tell you, Pinkie. Maybe you have a hard time telling if I’m surprised because I’m not a pony?”

Pinkie disengaged, but kept her eyes narrowed. “Fine, do not relinquish your secrets unto Auntie Pinkie. But know that I will keep an eye on you. Soon I will learn how to truly make you… surprised.” She backed into the crowd, disappearing from view at the last word.

“Did I just make enemies with a party-themed supervillain?” I asked, getting no answer. Glancing around the room, I found Spike at the snack table, making short work of a cupcake.

Deciding to follow Spike’s lead, I joined in the merriment. Grabbing a drink, I mixed and mingled for a while. I figured Twilight and Sunset would want some space away from others for a while. But I still checked in on them after an hour or so.

Poking my head into the loft, I breached into a sound dampening bubble that Sunset had set up. “Hey girls, wanna come join the party?”

Neither of them looked up from the books they were reading. “Not even in the slightest,” Twilight replied, turning the page of her book. “Princess Celestia is scheduled to raise the sun in just a few hours and we’re still basically at square one with everything.”

“We don’t even know what the Elements look like and only a vague idea of where they are,” Sunset added. “The last thing we need is to party with a bunch of ponies who by this time tomorrow will be nothing more than a hazy memory.”

Sighing, I left them to their devices and went back downstairs.

“Are the two grumps coming down?” Spike asked, waddling up to me with a lampshade on his head.

“That’s a negatory little buddy,” I answered, snagging a nearby cupcake. “They’re not coming down until it’ll be time to leave for the event.”

Cringing, Spike removed the lampshade and stared up at the stairs with a crestfallen look. “How much trouble do you think they’ll get in for not listening to the princess?”

Patting his head, I took a small bite of the treat in my hand. “Knowing Tia, she won’t get mad at them. Instead, she’ll tell them that she’s disappointed in them.”

Spike shuddered, the thought of a maternal figure uttering the phrase causing a wave of sympathetic pain to rush through him.

The party continued on for several hours, and just as I predicted, the dynamic duo didn’t come down until it was time to leave for the ceremony. We followed the crowd out to the town hall where it was being held. The air was electric, everyone abuzz with what was about to happen. It wasn’t every day that a princess visited.

Once everyone was corralled into the town hall, the event was all set. Rarity was set up on a balcony, ready to pull back the curtain for Tia’s grand entrance and Fluttershy was on standby with her bird choir. The mayor of the town stepped onto the small stage at the front and gave a small speech. At her signal, Rarity pulled back the curtain to reveal nothing. No one was standing behind the curtain. Murmurs passed through the crowd, confusion and fear rising within the assembled ponies. Rarity slithered off, checking the room behind the curtain.

“This can’t be good,” Twilight said, her face glued to the spot where Tia should’ve been.

“Everypony remain calm!” the mayor called out, trying to get the assembled ponies’ attention. “I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation!”

Rarity returned to the assembly hall, a pensive expression etched into her features. “The princess is gone!” she relayed.

That piece of info killed any chance of the assembly being calm, a throng of murmurs filling the air. Before full blown panic set in, purple mist started to billow out and coalesce on one of the unoccupied balconies. A form of a black mare solidified, light blue armor covering her frame. A sinister smirk crossed her muzzle.

“Greetings my beloved subjects,” Nightmare Moon started, craning her head along the crowd. “Words cannot express how lovely it is to see all of your little sun-loving faces.”

That was my cue to act. I reached into my duster and pulled out my grapple gun. Pointing it up into the rafters, I pulled the trigger. With the satisfying sound of a magical charge, the hook flew up and found its mark. Pressing the button on the side, I quickly ascended onto the closest balcony to Nightmare.

“Well hello there tall, dark and megalomaniacal!” I called out, making sure to get her attention. “Gotta say, the powder blue armor kinda diminishes the scare factor. Maybe some royal purple or navy like the night sky might work better.”

Nightmare recoiled at the sight of me, her eyes widening. “You?! What are you doing here?! You’re dead!” She returned to her billowing form and flew over to me, covering me in an instant. I thrashed for a moment, only stopping when I realized I could breathe normally. My world went black and the familiar sensation of magical teleportation overtook me.