Thirty Minute Ponies

by ThatOneWriter

Rating: teen
Tags: Anthology, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Slice of Life
Length: 3996

A collection of short stories written for the Thirty Minute Ponies group's legacy prompts.

A collection of short stories written for the Thirty Minute Ponies group's legacy prompts. Some of them may be named or may not be. Also, if you would like me to expand upon these stories and make them into oneshots (I don't know if chaptered stories are likely to happen), let me know in the comments section of that chapter or state the story by name/prompt. I make no guarantees, but if people seem interested, I will see if I can make it work. Rated Teen just to be safe for shipping and future prompts. Tagged for most common genres. These do not apply to all stories.

1. "Everypony Loves Pie"
Prompt: Everypony loves Pie.
Characters: Twilight, Pinkie, everypony else as supporting characters
Genres: Comedy, Shipping, Random (maybe)

2. "I Can't Hear the Music"
Prompt: I can't hear the music.
Characters: Vinyl, supporting OCs
Genre: Sad

3. "The Kiss"
Prompt: Everypony talks.
Characters: Rarity, Fluttershy
Genre: Romance

4. "Back to the Daily Grind"
Prompt: The return. "How long have I been gone?"
Characters: Applejack, Mane 6
Genre: Comedy

5. "A Day Late..."
Prompt: A day late and a dollar short.
Characters: Rainbow Dash, Applejack
Genres: Sad, Romance

Published 2015-05-18 22:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-02 05:08:26 UTC

Everypony Loves Pie

Twilight stood outside the of Sugarcube Corner. She took a deep breath.

Okay, this is no big deal. I’ve just got to go in there, tell one of my most unpredictable friends that I love her, and hope she doesn’t freak out! No big deal, right?

Doing another of Cadence’s breathing exercises (she’d gotten extensive use of that lesson today), Twilight closed her eyes and opened the door to Sugarcube Corner.

“... So that’s when I found out that I was totally into you, Pinkie.”

Rainbow Dash stood hunched over the counter, casually leaning on one hoof while she talked to Pinkie. She seemed completely unaware of Twilight’s presence, as she didn’t even turn around.

Dash likes Pinkie too? Twilight’s head was spinning. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Maybe I can just back out and pretend like I was never here. After all, it’s not like she’s seen me—

“Hi, Twilight!” Pinkie grinned at her, waving her over.

—Yet. Putting on her best--and calmest--smile she could manage, Twilight walked up to the counter.

“Uh, hi, Pinkie.” Twilight scratched the back of her head. “Lovely weather we’re having, aren’t we?”

Pinkie giggled. “It is! But I don’t think you came here to talk about the weather.” She winked at Twilight.

She knows! Every muscle in Twilight’s body tensed up. Okay, okay. Uh… play it coy, Twilight. There’s still a chance that she’s just being normal, playful Pinkie Pie.

Twilight gulped. “No, I came here to…” Her eyes darted around the store. “Uh… buy a cake!” She smiled. She won’t suspect a thing! “Yes, it’s Spike’s birthday next week, and I still haven’t bought a cake. Gotta make sure I’m prepared!”

Pinkie tilted her head, still grinning. “Silly Twilight, Spike’s birthday isn’t for another two months!”

“Oh. Yeah. I forgot, I guess.” She’s onto me! Sirens blared in Twilight’s mind. “I guess I’ll just be going then.” She turned toward the door, but a hoof grabbed her shoulder.

“Didn’t you have something you wanted to tell me?” Pinkie batted her eyelashes.

Twilight gasped. “You know?”

Pinkie giggled again, covering her mouth with her hoof. “Oh, Twilight, everypony’s been coming in here and confessing their undying love for me!”

Dash’s jaw dropped. “You mean I wasn’t the first?”

“Nope!” Pinkie opened the door to the kitchen, revealing Rarity and Applejack.

“You two?” Twilight’s shoulders slumped. She blinked. “Wait. Applejack, Pinkie’s your cousin! Or second cousin or something. Isn’t that like incest?”

Covering her face with her hat, Applejack said, “It hasn’t been proven. We don’t rightly know how closely related she is to the Apple family.”

“That’s almost as bad!”

“Yes, really, Applejack. You should be ashamed of yourself.” Rarity fanned herself. “A mare like Pinkie Pie is more deserving of a proper lady like moi.”

Twilight facehooved. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

At that moment, Twilight heard the sound of a door opening. Mr. and Mrs. Cake entered the kitchen.

“Mr. and Mrs. Cake!” Twilight raced to their side. “Great! You can help sort out all this weirdness!”

“Actually, Twilight…” Pinkie said. “They confessed their love too!”

Turning back to the Cakes, Twilight looked at them with absolute disgust. “She’s like your adopted daughter! That’s just sick!”

The bell chimed at the front door. “Um, hello? Pinkie?” Everypony looked at Fluttershy.

“Um, is this a bad time?”

“Let me guess,” Twilight said. “You’re here to admit you’ve secretly had a crush on Pinkie for years now?”

Fluttershy bit her lip. “Was it that obvious?”

Twilight’s eye twitched. “Okay, you know what? I’m done here.” She stormed out of the bakery, only to run straight into a pony on the other side of the door.

“Ow!” She fell onto her flank.

“Sorry! Here, let me help you up, Twily!”

Twilight took the hoof offered to her. “Thanks, I should have looked where I--” She blinked. “Shining? What are you doing here?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, I’m here to meet your friend!” He turned to his side. “Or rather, we are.”

Twilight stared at him. Then she turned away. “Y’know what? I don’t even care anymore. I’m going back to my castle, and I’m going to curl up with a nice astrophysics textbook, and I’m going to enjoy the world making sense again!” She flew away, muttering under her breath, “Can’t things be normal around here for just one day?”

I Can't Hear the Music

The bass pounded inside the club. The vibrations could be felt through one's hooves, even from the door. Ponies danced, or some approximation thereof, clutching drinks and bobbing their heads. Though the herd had thinned out over the night, there were still a few dozen ponies.

One pony stood behind the speakers, headphones wrapped around her neck. Her blue mane fell over her eye, and she flicked it aside. She tapped a hoof to the beat, adjusting the sound whenever it didn't quite feel right. A constant grin was plastered to her face.

She looked out over the crowd. Everypony looked to be having a good time. Another job well done. Mentally, she patted herself on the back.

Somepony standing in front of the speakers said something, but she couldn't make it out. He was smiling, though, so she nodded, grin widening.

The song ended, and Vinyl immediately dropped into the next one. She looked over at the clock. Almost two in the morning.

"Last song, everypony! Make it count!" A cheer rang out, or so she guessed by everypony throwing up their hooves. A few teetered on the brink of falling, drunkenly swaying and trying to land back on all fours. Ponies downed and ditched their drinks on the way to the dance floor.

By this point in the night, the ponies' movements no longer resembled dancing. At best, the ponies did a wobbly sort of hop. At worst, it was more like they were throwing themselves in various directions, not even able to keep to the beat. The alcohol and the fatigue were too much; those who could handle their drinks had long since exhausted themselves.

At last, the song ended, and Vinyl wrapped it up. "Good night, everypony!" she said into the microphone before she began powering down her equipment. She left it all where it was after she turned it off. There was no point in taking it home; it was heavy and she'd just have to lug it all back again for her gig the next day.

The ponies staggered out the door and into the streets. Vinyl was the second-to-last one out; only the bartender stayed behind.

Vinyl knew the way back by heart. She could have sleepwalked home, which was good, considering she had practically done so on a few of the crazier, later nights.

She didn't look where she was going when she crossed the street. The only carriages going at this hour would be for party ponies who had had too a little too much, and she would see the lights before one even arrived. The street was so quiet that the city hadn't even bothered with a lamppost.

Still... there was an odd rumbling. She turned her head. No lights came from either side of her. But as she turned back, she saw something move in the corner of her eye.

All at once, the wind was knocked out of her as another pony barreled into, then tumbled over her. Her ribs, already aching from the impact, were crushed beneath the carriage's wooden wheels. She lay there in agony as both the passenger and the driver argued, gesturing back and forth and saying things back and forth in rapid-fire succession.

After what felt like an eternity, the driver stood by her head, gesturing for the passenger to stand on the other side of her. Together, they lifted her into the carriage. The passenger hopped in, and they took off for the hospital.

...

Detective Brass Badge narrowed his eyes at the driver. "What were you doing driving without even a lantern going?"

Rickshaw sighed. "I did, but it went out along the way. You can ask my passenger."

"Oh, we will," Brass said. He put his hooves on the table. "You know, if you'd have had one, you never would have hit that mare."

"That wasn't my fault!" Rickshaw's hooves shot up. He slowly lowered them when the detective shot him a harsh look. "Look. She wasn't even looking for traffic. She turned when I got near, but she didn't move. I was screaming "Move out of the way!" and everything, and she didn't listen. I tried to stop, but it was too late." He shook his head. "It's like she couldn't even hear me."

"She didn't." Brass leaned in, staring directly at Rickshaw. "She's deaf."

The Kiss

Of course ponies would talk.

As somepony making a name for herself in the world of fashion, ponies are always talking about me—good or bad. It's something I've become used to by now.

But poor Fluttershy never asked for any of this! It was readily apparent after her stint as a model that she would never fit into such a cutthroat business. Or fit into such a culture. She's far too gentle. Ponies like her only get hurt when ponies talk.

I suppose it's my fault. Fluttershy is my friend. She trusted me to keep it secret when she confessed her crush on me. Oh, this whole thing never would have happened if not for the kiss!

One moment, the poor dear is a muttering, clumsy mess, unable to form a coherent thought without tugging on her mane or shuffling her hooves against the cafe floor. The very next instant, I lean in to better make out what she's saying, and her lips are on mine!

Of course ponies saw. And of course they'd talk. Two of the Elements of Harmony, Equestria's heroes (not to toot my own horn, mind you), and one of them already a name being discussed in those same circles? How could they not? The whole thing no doubt made simply the juiciest bit of gossip in weeks! It certainly was a tasty enough morsel to still be discussed even now.

I must admit, in hindsight, it didn't help things that I walked out. I did mutter something about needing some time, but for appearance's sake, it must have looked simply horrid. A pony of my standing abandoning a friend who was willing to be so open? Honestly, I do think I deserve everything I got.

But Fluttershy... Fluttershy did nothing to deserve the sorts of things being said about her. Ponies with nothing better to do than to slander such an innocent and kind pony have implied that somehow she wasn't good enough for me, that even I, one of her closest friends, wouldn't so much as give her a chance. They've said the same thing about her modeling career, implying that she wasn't pretty enough to be a model, that her plain, unadorned look and manner failed to impress Ms. Finish.

I know she's taken it awfully hard. It has been days since I've last seen her, and that was before the talk got really nasty. Knowing her, she's likely curled up in bed. I'm sure even her animals are worried.

My heart aches at the very thought. I absolutely must make things right again.

I knock on her front door. There is no response. Animals stir, claws scratch at the floor, birds chirp... but nopony arrives at the door.

I try the front door and find it to be unlocked. Hesitantly, I wander inside to find the house as full of animals as ever. The sight comforts me, even if the smell doesn't. (Unfortunately, a house full of animals does not do much for the nose. Well, not as much as it does to the stomach.) Conspicuously, there is no yellow pegasus amidst the chaos. Nor, actually, the embodiment of chaos himself. The bunny—Angel, I believe his name is—is there, however. He scowls at me, then hops off to the bedroom. I follow.

There, curled up beneath the blankets, is Fluttershy. Or I presume she's there. It's hard to tell, since all I see is a pony-shaped lump.

Discord stands beside the bed. His eyes widen as he sees me. I hold a hoof to my lips, and I gesture toward the door. He pouts, but after I repeat the motion, he complies.

Biting my lip, I slowly peel back the blanket. Fluttershy blinks, then stares up at me. Her red-rimmed eyes are still moist. I would be impressed by how long she had been crying had I not had a few such fits of my own within my lifetime.

I take a deep breath... and let it out. What do I even say? Do I apologize for walking out? For not having the decency to give her some explanation of how I feel? Should I mention what ponies are saying because of that?

Her eyes look up at me, wavering, then dart away. She's scared. What pony wouldn't be after what she has gone through? But it is now that I know just how to apologize.

I lean down, wrapping my hoof behind her neck. The distance closes between us before our lips meet.

Her eyes widen, and I feel her gasp. She stares back, before hesitantly leaning against me, returning the kiss. I close my eyes.

There's no need for words. The message has been received. I'm sorry. And... I think I love you, too.

Let the ponies talk. They'll say what they want and make up whatever lies they feel like sharing. We'll just hold each other close in quiet moments like this.

As I rest my head on her chest and feel the steady beating of her heart, I find myself looking up at her. She wraps her hooves around me, a soft smile on her face. Maybe this will work out or maybe it won't, but in this moment, I know I have made my friend very happy.

And that is something worth talking about.

Back to the Daily Grind

The first thing Applejack noticed as she stepped off the train was a suspicious lack of ponies there to greet her. The second thing she noticed was the smoke rising above the library.

She raced toward the fire. The flames climbed high above Golden Oaks Library, and they also were a bizarre and unnatural shade of blue-ish purple. Twilight stood outside, watching helplessly as the fire engulfed her home.

"Twilight! Are you all right?"

Twilight nodded. "I'm fine." She turned and pointed to her home. "But the library isn't."

Applejack looked back at the burning tree. "What in tarnation happened, anyway?"

"Well..." Twilight rubbed the back of her neck. "Remember that potion I was working on that would grant the drinker immortality or else explode in a massive, uncontainable fire?"

"Yeah?"

Twilight looked at the ground. "It didn't grant me immortality."

Applejack facehooved. "Twilight, what did I tell you about messin' with the laws of nature?"

Twilight sighed. "It's wrong and it comes with consequences I can hardly foresee."

"Then why in Equestria did you push forward with this?"

Twilight shrugged. "You weren't there to nag me, so I thought this was my chance."

Rolling her eyes, Applejack put a hoof on her friend's back. "What did you learn?"

"That you're usually right about these things," Twilight muttered.

Just then, something whizzed past them, hitting the ground with a massive thud. They both rushed over to see what it was.

Rainbow Dash lay in a heap amidst the crater she had made in the dirt. She rolled to her belly, wincing as she tried to stand and stretch her wings. "Ow..."

"Rainbow Dash?" Applejack narrowed her eyes. "I should've known. What kind of dang fool thing was that?"

Dash gave her a weak grin. "My newest trick." She coughed. "Only it didn't actually work this time. Heh."

"New trick? You mean--"

Dash nodded, her grin widening. "Aw, yeah! The Rainbow Dash's Patented Sonic Loop Blitz!" She tried to stand again, abandoning the attempt as soon as her full weight was on her legs.

Applejack shook her head. "Now, Dash, I thought I told you to check with Twilight before trying these bonehead maneuvers of yours to see if they're safe!"

Dash raised an eyebrow. "Uh, I did."

Lowering her head, Twilight looked away from Applejack. "I was too busy with my potion to even check."

Applejack stomped her hoof into the dirt. "Consarnit, girls! At least have a little sense!"

Just then, something roared on the edge of the Everfree. Somepony squealed in terror.

"That sounds like Fluttershy!" For a third time, Applejack galloped off toward a friend in peril.

"No, uh, that's fine! I'll just be here!" Dash called.

"Rub some dirt on it!" came Applejack's response.

Dash rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah, "rub some dirt on it." That'll help." She shook her head. She found herself looking from her bruised body to the dirt. "Oh, what the hay." Dash smeared it over her injured legs. "There's no way that--" She stood easily. "Oh hey, it worked!"

...

Meanwhile, Applejack was whipping some kind of fierce mutant creature. She was starting to lose track of what the Everfree's abominations were called. Fluttershy was in tears, clinging tightly to Twilight.

"He seemed like he'd be friendly!" she sobbed. "And then the big meanie roared and tried to bite my head off!"

Applejack wrangled her lasso around the thing's torso, pulling it tight. It gave one last mighty roar, then toppled onto its behind. She quickly tied off all of its limbs. Even the weird slimy tentacle ones.

"Fluttershy, next time couldja please make sure there's somepony with you before you try to befriend," she looked at the creature, "that?!"

Fluttershy nodded, rocking herself in Twilight's hooves. "I just wanted to be friends. I just wanted to be friends," she said over and over.

Scootaloo burst through the door of the cottage. "Applejack! Thank goodness you're here! Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are stranded on the vines above the lake!"

"So? That lake's perfectly fine. They can swim."

Laughing nervously, Scootaloo shrunk back. "Yeah, about that..." She bit her lip. "We kinda-sorta-maybe... filled it with cragodiles."

"You what?!" Applejack yelled.

"We thought we'd get our cutie marks in cragodile taming!" Scootaloo lowered her head. "Instead, the cragodiles tamed us.

With a sigh, Applejack straightened her hat. "Lead the way."

Yet again Applejack found herself being dragged to clean up somepony else's mess. It wasn't easy being the voice of reason in a town of crazies. But somehow, Applejack did it.

And she wouldn't have it any other way.

A Day Late...

Something felt off.

Rainbow Dash was usually on top of things. Okay, she was mostly on top of things. It was more than half the time. And even when she wasn't, Dash was a speed demon. She knew how to get back ahead in a hurry.

But she was pretty sure she was behind today. There was something she was forgetting. But what? It wasn't one of her friends' birthdays. Pinkie would have sent her an invitation to their party by now. There was no way it was the weather—that was the one thing she always kept up on. It wasn't a holiday, and she was pretty sure none of her friends had any favors they'd asked of her. Rainbow scratched her head.

Aw, hay. AJ'll know. She's good about this kind of stuff. That had been one of the things that had gotten Applejack and Rainbow Dash to start dating. As much as they respected each other as rivals, they had come to admire how the other came through for their friends. Applejack just happened to be better at being on time about it.

So Dash raced over to Sweet Apple Acres. Being as fast as she was, it was hardly any time at all before she arrived. She glided over the orchard, scouring the ground below for her marefriend. After spotting Applejack near the eastern edge of the farm, Dash dove toward the ground, pulling up at the last moment to land with characteristic flair. Dash loved doing that whenever Applejack was around. Applejack's eyes would widen, then after seeing Dash was okay, she'd try to scowl. She'd tell Dash how stupid and reckless that was, and then Dash would tell her how cute she looked when she was worried, and Applejack would try to scowl even more, even though her cheeks reddened and a hint of a smile always broke through.

This time, however, it seemed that Applejack dropped all pretense of being upset. She strode up to the fence, already smiling. "Well, g'mornin', sugarcube! You know what today is?"

Dash blinked. "Uh, yeah, totally!" She put on her best fake smile. It slowly faded as she rubbed the back of her neck. "Would you mind reminding me, though?"

Applejack's smile evaporated in an instant. "Consarnit, Dash!" She scowled, except this time it wasn't an act. At least, it didn't seem to be an act as far as Dash could tell. "Can't you at least keep track of the most important dates?"

"Hey, I remembered your birthday!" Dash frowned. What's she getting so mad about, anyway?

"After Pinkie reminded you that very morning!"

Dash scoffed. "I still got you a present and everything! It was the best one you got that year! You still use that hoof massager almost every day!"

Applejack shook her head. "That was two days later, Dash. You didn't even show up to the party on time."

"But I was still there, and I still made up for it!"

Rolling her eyes, Applejack turned away. She lowered her head. "You're unbelievable sometimes, Dash." The statement was so quiet and so strained that it barely even sounded like Applejack. She stared Dash right in the eyes. "You always think you can make up for everything after the fact, but sometimes, 'sorry' just don't cut it. Some things are just too important to miss."

Dash's heart sank. Whatever Applejack was mad about, it was big this time. Maybe she couldn't make up for this mistake. "What the hay are you so worked up about, anyway?"

"Dash," Applejack said in that same, quiet voice. "Today's our anniversary."

The world fell around Dash. Taking a step back, she tried to take in what Applejack had said. "W-what?"

Applejack sighed and turned away. "I kept hoping," she said. "I kept hoping that maybe, just maybe, you'd care enough to at least remember our anniversary. But I guess some things never change." Ears dropping, Applejack bit her lip, suddenly hesitant. "I don't think we can make this work. It's over, Dash."

"Applejack..." In vain, Dash reached out a hoof toward her now-ex-marefriend. She pressed herself against the fence, but she couldn't quite reach.

Tears glistened in Applejack's eyes. A soft sniff escaped her. "Now if'n you don't mind, I've got someplace else to be." With that, Applejack galloped away, not even turning to look back.

Dash fell to her haunches, stunned. She pressed a hoof to her chest to ensure that there wasn't a hole there. It sure felt like somepony had ripped her heart out.

"I'll take you to the nicest place in town. I'll get you whatever you want. I'll owe you like a hundred thousand massages or whatever." Trees became blurry green blobs with flecks of red. Her eyes burned as she continued to stare at where Applejack had stood. "Just please say it's all right," she whispered.

But despite her promises, Rainbow Dash was alone.

Author's Note

My first official dabbling in AppleDash. The others were never finished, but they all have one thing in common: they do not go well for the two. Iunno why, I just don't see these two working out.