“Alright Discord, Cut the cards.” I said, placing the deck of cards before the God of chaos.
A Cleaver suddenly appears and cuts the deck in two.
“I didn’t mean it literally.” I pull out another deck and shuffled them again.
The patio deck was lit up with strands of white lights as the crickets out in the grass chirped their songs. The moonlit night was filled with hundreds of stars, the crisp summer air flew gently across.
It was Poker night at my home in Colorado, with a slight difference. Instead of actual people, it were some of the characters from the show Friendship is Magic by means of breaking the fourth wall--- again.
“Ok, You all know the rules this time right?” I looked to my guests. Discord nodded, Pinkie Pie smiled and Derpy was just all over the place. Only a muffin nearby kept her from bringing the whole patio on top of us.
“Rules can be a bit boring don’t you think?” He said.
“Tell that to the Ace in your tail.” I noticed an Ace of Spades sticking out like a sore thumb.
“Fine we’ll do it your way, but I’m hosting the next night.”
“Alright, just don’t get Celestia involved. It’s bad enough we got you out of your stone just for tonight.” I placed in a small stack of blue chips; each worth ten cents.
“Yes, we’re using cents instead of dollars. It’s his story.” Pinkie said aloud, then placed a similar stack, followed by Discord. “Also, why can’t we have Celestia play the next night? It’s not like she’s going to shoot you to the moon.” She giggled.
I didn’t comment and turned to Derpy.
“Derpy, you in?”
She slid in her muffin.
“She’s in.”
The cards were soon passed around and placed besides the dealer token; near me. I look down to my hand, then back towards the others. Derpy seemed to be the only one who was looking serious, her tongue sticking out to one corner. Pinkie was looking around, out of focus while Discord grinned.
‘He must have a good hand.’ I thought; looking to a Two of Clubs and a Ten of Hearts.
“I’ll put in fifty cents” Discord pushed five blue chips in.
Pinkie suddenly turned back to the table. “I’ll toss in a cupcake and one bit” She placed a rainbow color cupcake and a white chip into the center.
“I’ll match the fifty cents.” I said.
Derpy just continued to look at her cards, one exposed to the table as a Eight of Spades. Ignoring, I started peeling the first three cards from the deck and onto the table.
A Ten of Diamonds.
A King of Spades.
A Three of Spades.
Discord took a sip from a glass of chocolate milk, only the glass slipped through his lips.
“That’s the third cup tonight.”
“I know, and I’m still sober.” He joked, then tossed the solid form of chocolate milk aside. He then pushed in two dollar red chips into the middle. Everyone else did the same and I peeled the next card.
A Jack of Clubs.
Drat, no luck in this hand. The next round of bets started off; more chips, another cupcake and a postcard from Manehatten. I peeled the last card.
A Three of Hearts.
“Pair of Tens.” I placed my cards down.
“Two Kings.” Discord said, placing down a King of Hearts and a Queen of Spades.
“I got a pair." Pinkie placed a Three of Clubs and a Ace of Hearts. Derpy placed her cards down; the Eight of Spades and a Two of Hearts.
"I win this round, and how about we make it interesting." Discord snapped his fingers. Suddenly appearing on the pot were the Elements of Harmony.
"Winner takes the pot." He grinned.
"No cheating?"
"I maybe the God of Chaos, but I am a man of my word, so yes. No cheating."
"I'm not convinced."
"Me either. Wait, what isn't being convincible?" Pinkie added.
"Fine, To be fair we'll let Derpy deal the cards." Discord pointed to the grey mare, now eating the muffin from the pot.
"That was my winning!" He shouted. I collected the cards, shuffled them and slid the deck to Derpy.
"Can you cut the cards?" Before I could rethink that statement, Derpy pulled out another Cleaver and chopped the deck down the middle.
I face palmed.
"You need to be more specific Codex. Otherwise you won't have a deck of cards left." Pinkie explained.
"You don't say?" I replied sarcastically. I got out to get another deck and when I returned, I find more stuff on the Pot. Several piles of chips of all four colors, another batch of rainbow color cupcakes, several scrolls with Celestia's Seal on them and...
"Twilight?! What are you doing here?"
"How should I know. I was studying in the Library and all of sudden, I'm sitting on this pile-" Twilight looked down to see the Elements. "What are the Elements doing here? And how did Discord escape?!" She turned to see the God of Chaos sitting across from her.
He waved.
"Long story short: Poker night and he upped the ante. But I want to know where all these bids came from?" I looked to the pile.
"Pinkie." Derpy and Discord replied in unison.
"Hi-ee." She smiled. “I was so excited about the next round, so I went a head and did the bets for every pony here. I hope you didn’t mind.”
‘At least she didn’t make Twilight a referee.’ I thought.
“Oh yeah, and I brought Twilight over so she could be the referee.” pinkie added. Another faceplam to the head.
“I don’t want any part of this.” Twilight replied.
“Not even with your precious elements on the line?” Discord stated.
“I’ll be the dealer, if that what Pinkie means by a referee.” She lifted the cards off the table and started shuffling the cards like there was no tomorrow. We all just glared with amazement, except Derpy who was looking all over the patio.
The hands were deled and we took off. I didn’t fare well in this hand: A Seven and Ten of Clubs. I look over to Discord and Pinkie, both seemed to be having a swell time, and then to Derpy who, once again, had one of her cards facing the wrong way, revealing an Eight of Clubs.
“Here we go.” Twilight said, her magic peeling the first three cards from the deck and onto the table before the pot.
A Queen of Hearts.
A Ten of Spades.
A Two of Clubs.
“I stay.” I said.
“I’ll stay as well.” Discord replied.
“Goldfish.” Pinkie said, confusing poker for goldfish. Derpy just kept looking at her cards, her tongue sticking out.
“Derpy, are you in or out?” Twilight asked.
“In what?” She asked.
“Never mind.” Twilight pulled another card and placed it on the table.
A Seven of Hearts.
‘Two pair. Good start so far.’ I thought, but would it bet whatever Discord had up his sleeve.
“Discord doesn’t have sleeves silly.” Pinkie interrupted. As much as I wanted to find out how she read my mind, I ignored it and turned to Twilight. The last card was pulled and landed on the table.
A Jack of Hearts.
The moment of truth had arrived.
“Alright, lets seem those cards.” Twilight said, placing the deck back onto the table. I was the first to place the cards down.
“Codex shows two pair: sevens and tens.”
Discord laid his on the table.
“Straight to the Ace.” Twilight sounded worried now, seeing a King of Spades and an Ace of Clubs. Derpy was next, showing an Ace of Diamonds and the back of the card.
“Derpy shows another Straight to the Ace.”
It was all up to Pinkie now, everyone there knew it.
“Well Pinkie?” Pinkie placed her cards down, to everyone’s surprise.
“Pinkie shows a Royal Flush.” Twilight said with amazement and relief. Sure enough, Pinkie had a King and Ace of Hearts before her.
“Is that good?”
“Good? GOOD?! Pinkie, you won the entire pot!”
“Doesn’t look like a pot, more like a bunch of stuff.” She looked puzzled at her winnings, being slid over to her side of the table.
“Well that was fun, and to think I could have won with a fake Ace.” Discord pulled his actual card from his tail; a Four of Hearts.
“I thought we agreed to no cheating?” I looked to him.
“I had my fingers crossed, that and I didn’t think Pinkie would be randomly lucky.” Pinkie simply grinned.
“At least Celestia didn’t get wind of this.” I said confidently as I took a drink of water.
“Oh that reminds me, She’s been watching the whole time.” Pinkie added. I sputtered the water out.
“WHAT?!”
“Yeah, She’s in your house eating a banana. There she is right now.” She pointed to the kitchen window.
There in the window was Princess Celestia herself, dropping the banana she was eating from her aura. Her left eye twitched as we all looked dumbstruck as Pinkie waved to her.
“Um… Princess Celestia? I can explain.” I said.
