How the Dash Stole Winter----Complete Story

by PensacolaRanger

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Rainbow Dash, Tank, Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 2440

A fan-retelling of MLP:FiM's "Tanks for the Memories"----in classic Seussian-rhyme verse!

Ever since Rainbow Dash made that unforgettable 'Grinch' face on the TV screen, many fans have responded with picture-comparison's to Dr. Seuss's The Grinch. And while some have attempted to mimic the old master's rhythmic rhyme to match the pictures----I've seen few attempt this rhyming with a full-fledged story draft. Others may try; some may have already tried, but here now is MY OWN attempt, just for argument sake. Inspired by Hasbro's MLP:FiM's "May the Best Pet Win" & "Tanks for the Memories" and Dr. Seuss's "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." This author claims no ownership of characters or story; only of this draft.

Published 2015-05-16 01:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-16 01:10:02 UTC

3 Parts: 1 - The Set-Up, 2 - The Plot, and 3 - The Aftermath

3 Parts: 1 - The Set-Up, 2 - The Plot, and 3 - The Aftermath

PART 1 - THE SET-UP

In the land of Equestria, where talking ponies trot,

Lay the small town of Ponyville, just south of Canterlot…

Ask anypony, and they’ll have this to say:

“There is no place like Ponyville, on a cold winter’s day!”

Every window was flocked, every lamp post was dressed,

And the One-Mare-Band Pinkie Pie, played her wintery best.

Springtime was pretty; and the summers were hot.

Fall had a leaf-running race, though the winters did not.

But just before spring, Winter Wrap-Up took place.

All the ponies cleaned up winter, for spring to take place.

The seasons all came, and the seasons all went,

Each one in their turn, with plenty of bits spent.

Nightmare Night was fine; Hearts & Hooves Day was pleasant,

And when one had a birthday, they gave each other presents.

But everypony knew, from their four hooves to their snout,

They loved Hearth’s Warming Eve best, without a single pony doubt!

Yes…every pony in Ponyville liked winter a lot…

But RAINBOW DASH, a Pegasus from Cloudsdale----DID NOT!

Rainbow Dash hated winter, the whole winter season!

Don’t ask anypony why; they won’t tell you the reason.

One might think, perhaps, her horseshoes were too tight.

Or one might think her head wasn’t screwed on just right.

Or one might even think, the best reason of all,

May have been that her heart, was two sizes, too small.

But whatever the reason, her heart or horseshoes,

Wintertime always gave Dash the wintertime blues.

Staring down from the sky, with a sour pony frown,

At the warm lighted windows below in the town,

Rainbow Dash knew too well, everypony was set

To have weeks full of wintertime fun----with their pets:

Twilight Sparkle had an owl, and a baby dragon, too.

Applejack had a dog. And the Pegasus knew

Rarity had a cat. Fluttershy a pet bunny.

Pinkie Pie had a toothless alligator named Gummy.

And one day each weekend, was their special day,

To bring their pets outside to a park, to play.

What fun! Great exercise! But WAIT, just a minute:

This frivolity used to have Rainbow Dash in it!

But not anymore. Where is she? Where’s her pet?

Well, there once was a time, Dash couldn’t forget,

When she had no pet of her own! Not a one.

So a Pony Pet Playdate for her, was no fun.

But then Fluttershy invited Dash over to her place,

To pick out a pet. But Dash proposed a race!

Whichever one crossed the finish line with her,

Would be her new pet! What came next was a blur

Of competing small creatures: a hummingbird, an eagle,

A butterfly, a bat, and a falcon most regal!

And a big buzzing wasp, and a small tawny owl,

A toucan, a flamingo, and two ducks for water fowl.

But the unlikeliest creature to win, it would seem,

Was a slow-moving tortoise, with a shell of spotted green.

Dash chose Ghastly Gorge for the race’s course;

A place much too dangerous for even a horse.

With boulders, and briars, and huge Quarray Eels,

Who’d sooner bite down on you, than hear your appeals.

Rainbow Dash led the way; the competitors followed suit.

The Quarrays couldn’t touch her; she was having a hoot!

But an avalanche struck; a boulder smashed down her wing!

Dash was trapped! What could save her? Apparently nothing.

But then what to her big rosy eyes should appear,

But that slow-footed tortoise! But did Rainbow Dash cheer?

NOT A BIT! (Personally, she was pulling for the falcon.)

But in the next instant, her bony-backed pal came

A-digging up under the rock! Soon she was free!

“Hey… this little guy just saved my life!” thought she.

Dash rode to the finish line, on the tortoise’s back, like a table.

The WINNER!! The TORTOISE!! Right out of Aesop’s fable!

Now Dash had a pet, whom she promptly named: ‘Tank.’

She gave him a rotary wing & goggles, and they surfed a cloud bank!

That was last spring. They played together all summer.

Now it was late fall. But soon Dash discovered

that Tank was now falling asleep in mid-flight!

“Very odd,” Dash thought. This didn’t seem right.

All sorts of fun things for the winter she’d planned

to do with her pet. Would those plans now be canned?

Fluttershy did a check-up, but could find nothing wrong

With the tortoise, who blinked his black eyes, and did YAWN

Like a fish out of water. Then Fluttershy found a book.

She rifled through the pages, then took a big look.

“Some animals hibernate through the winter, you see?

It’s for their survival.” Short and simple, thought she.

But to poor Rainbow Dash, this was a total disaster!

She took to the sky, and flew faster and faster!

“My precious pet has to go away?” Boy, that stank!

She’d wanted to spend Hearth’s Warming Eve with Tank.

But now that was not going to happen! Dash frowned.

“He has to go to sleep, in the dark, cold, hard ground??”

“NO WAY! NOT A CHANCE! THAT’S NOT FAIR!” she retorted.

No way would she let her winter plans be aborted!

She couldn’t! She shouldn’t! She mustn’t! She wouldn’t!

Not now, not then, not ever again!

She loved her sweet tortoise. He worked hard for that love.

She couldn’t just give him up, if push came to shove!

But how could she save him, from this awful fate?

She owed him that much, yes! But what would it take?

“Hmmm…” Rainbow Dash thought. She thought hard and bold:

“I’d rather have him awake in the heat, than asleep in the cold…”

(**Twing!**)

Then she got an IDEA. An AWFUL idea…

RAINBOW DASH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!!

“I know just what to do…” she said, her hooves nervously drumming…

“RAINBOW DASH WILL JUST HAVE TO…

STOP WINTER FROM COMING!!”

(*Song Parody #1: “You’re a Mean One, Rainbow Dash”*)

You’re a mean one, Rainbow Dash!

You have gone from good to bad…

Not since your pranks on Nightmare Night

Have you been such a cad, Rainbow Da----ASH!

Your Element of Loyalty has now…

Made you quite MAD!!!

What’s the matter, Rainbow Dash?

This is not like you at all…

Your love for Tank has blinded you

You’re heading for a fall, Rainbow Da----ASH!

What would Daring-Do or the Wonderbolts think of you now?

Where did you get the GALL???

You’d better stop now, Rainbow Dash!

Before you go too far…

Sabotage is not your style

You’ll be feathered, you’ll be tarred, Rainbow Da---ASH!

Unauthorized tampering with the established order of things

Is an act of high-treason! Punishable by banishment…

To the OUTER-MOST STAR!!!

Shame on you for what you are thinking,

Rainbow Dash!!

(*Song ends.*)

PART 2 - THE PLOT

To Dash, stopping winter was: “ ’gonna be a breeze!”

She began stealing snow clouds, and hiding them in trees.

She took down icicles, misguided migrating geese,

Stomped out all the ice puddles, and hid all the skis.

Misdirected other Pegasi to send back the snow.

Rainbow Dash was determined to make winter go!

All the while, she kept Tank all nice, cozy and warm.

With a big glass sun lens. “No bitter cold storms

For my precious tortoise!” Dash uttered with ease,

As she stuffed all the leaves back up in the trees!

“Just keep the sun shining, and Tank can stay free.

No saying goodbye! He can stay here with me!”

But the more Rainbow tried, the more Tank nodded off.

And the harder the others worked, to kick winter off.

“(*Sigh*) I can’t stop it in Ponyville…but I CAN at the SOURCE!”

So Dash skulked into Cloudsdale, that sly winged horse.

Her primary target was the Weather Factory,

Where she hoped to do some damage, quite satisfactorily.

Dash waited ‘til lunch time, when the workers let out.

And with Tank close at hoof, they went sneaking about. (GASP!)

They had to hide in a locker, for a moment or two,

But soon, the big Winter Lab came into view…

Rainbow Dash eyed the large tubes, generators and vat.

“Hmm… sabotage snowflakes? I’ll go bigger than that!

Get rid of these clouds? Hmm…still not big enough…”

Seems to get rid of winter, Dash had to think tough.

She spied the Rain Water Vat. “Slam dunk! Now I know!

No water will mean they can’t make clouds or snow!

And of course, without those…” she was fiendishly humming,

“They’ll find out real soon, that no winter is coming!”

So she undid some valves. “Oopsie,” she did feign,

“And away goes winter, down the drain!”

To keep her tortoise safe, she tied him to a lamp

To anchor him down. But that half-asleep scamp

Soon broke loose, and drifted toward a huge industrial fan!

His loose strap flipped a switch, and the CHAOS BEGAN!

ON went the fan! It drew Tank toward its blades!

Dash flew to his rescue! But his strap blew away

And got all tangled up, in the blades of the fan!

Poor Dash got snowblinded. Tank spun away again.

And that’s when their troubles really began!

A wind blew a door open! It blew Dash away

Through the door of the Lightning Lab! Yeesh, what a day.

A jar fell! Lightning FLASHED! Dash hollered in shock!

She got blasted to the next room! And soon her eyes locked

On the Cloud Generator! It bristled with sparks

And began spewing storm clouds! The room became dark

With thunder, and lightning! And a loose, hot livewire!

“Let’s GET OUT OF HERE!” she said, grabbing Tank, and flew higher!

The fan broke the strap! Then it spun like a top!

Making a VACUUM TORNADO that just wouldn’t stop!

Dash & Tank tried to escape! No way! They went SHOOP!

And slid up through the tubes like Augustus Gloop!

They soon hit the Boiler, and got rattled mighty mean,

Like a gold-bit coin in a washing machine!

Ponies looked to the sky! “Prepare yourselves,” they did say.

“WINTER IS COMING!” And they all ran away

As a MOUNTAIN-SIZED SNOWBALL came rocketing down!

It had Dash & Tank caught! They spun ‘round and around!

Then the big snowball HIT, raising a HUGE mushroom cloud!

Coating everything white with a BOOM, long and loud!

Snow covered the trees, the hills, and every roof.

Dash’s ‘stop-winter scheme’ had gotten way out of hoof.

She searched ‘round for Tank, but he was okay.

But Ponyville was a mess. And she knew that someday,

Everypony in Cloudsdale would MAKE THAT DASH PAY!!

She hadn’t stopped winter from coming…IT CAME!

Somehow or other… it came, just the same.

Her friends asked if Dash was all right. She said: “NO…”

Then the poor Pegasus flopped, ice-cold in the snow.

For her plans to save her pet, had all been for naught.

And now, Rainbow Dash was COMPLETELY… DISTRAUGHT.

PART 3 - THE AFTERMATH

Not far from Cloudsdale, in a cloud house all her own,

Lay Rainbow Dash and Tank, in her bedroom comfort zone.

Her friends tried to comfort her, by her bedside.

Poor Dash was depressed…clutching Tank to her side,

Torn between her own happiness, and the needs of her pet.

Of all the messes she’d been in, this was the worst one yet.

Then Fluttershy said, in a moment so reckless:

“Rainbow Dash…your winter is GOING TO BE… PETLESS!”

The others all GASPED! Dash sat up in surprise!

“HOW MEAN CAN YOU BE?” thought Dash, with wide eyes!

True, it wasn’t like poor Tank was going to ‘die.’

Just ‘sleep’ through the winter. She understood why.

But poor Dash couldn’t help it. She started to CRY…

She WAILED! She SOBBED! She BAWLED like a filly!

To Twilight and Applejack, she was acting quite silly.

It lasted a good while. But Fluttershy waited.

Hoping her friend’s tears would soon be abated.

But Dash was heartbroken. She gushed wave after wave,

(*Sniff*) Until Fluttershy, also, had started to cave.

Then Rarity and Pinkie Pie let the tears flow,

As poor Dashie blubbered: “(*Sob*) I DON’T WANT HIM TO GO!!”

Who knew a plain tortoise could move their friend so?

Only Twilight and Applejack remained dry-eyed.

But if it were their pet, wouldn’t they, too, have cried?

Dash thanked all her friends, and soon came to accept,

That love sometimes meant letting go. Still, she wept

When the day finally came, to put Tank in the ground.

In his burrow ‘neath a tree, with snow all around.

Tank settled in tight, packed with dirt, and with snow.

Would she ever see him again? Poor Dash didn’t know.

She was ashamed of herself, for carrying on so.

She was usually stronger than this. Not sappy, you know.

But without Tank, a blue Hearth’s Warming Eve it would be.

Dash hated this thought… So bitter was she,

That her heart… shrank, a little…but she tried not to flee.

Her friends said goodbye. But Dash tarried a while,

“To read him a bedtime story.” She said with a half-smile.

She read him the story. She came back to visit often.

Even sang Hearth carols. “(*Sniff*)This isn’t a coffin.”

“This isn’t a tomb. It’s more like…a womb.”

She said to herself. “(*Sigh*) I’ll see him again. Soon.”

(*Song Parody #2: “I’ll Have a Blue Winter”*)

I’ll have a blue…winter…without you…

I’ll be so blue… thinking…about you…

Decorations of red, on a green Hearth’s Warming tree…

Won’t mean a thing…if you’re not here with me.

I’ll have a blue…winter…that’s certain…

And when that blue…heartache…starts hurtin’…

You’ll be doing all right…in your bed of snowy white…

But I’ll… have a blue… blue…winter…

(*Song ends.*)

Love does sometimes mean letting go. This is true.

Be it hibernation…or death…this is what we must do.

Life changes. It must. Nothing ever stays the same.

It’s nobody’s fault. There’s no one to blame…

We treasure what we have, until it is gone.

But we must let go. And we must move on.

That’s nature’s design. With this we shouldn’t tamper.

We mustn’t be selfish, or spoiled, or pampered.

Or we’ll upset the balance, and progress we’ll hamper.

Our plans? Or nature? Clearly, ours are a bust.

Let nature take its course. In this we must trust.

Stay faithful. Stay true. Have faith. Don’t lack.

Then someday soon…our treasures…we’ll get back.

T H E E N D

Author's Note

True, the title's not my own. That credit goes to GreenMachine987 on DeviantArt; a mockup book cover. That fan art inspired me to start thinking of this story, which I now submit for your review.