Status Report One: Loss of Data
Initiating: Full system reboot.
Processing…
Updates: Self-termination protocol halted.
Status report: All systems activated.
Initiating: Survival protocols.
Initial visual report: Surrounding area contains unfamiliar trees. Land and nearby structures belong to category ‘farm’. Trees lead into thicker forest. Current position is sitting on ground.
Motor skills: Rise to feet to further observe surrounding area.
Report assessment: Location does not fit continuity. Relocation
Inquiry: Critical damage sustained. Systems operational?
Report: (Error 518: unknown activation cause)
Inquiry: Purpose for new location? List primary objectives.
Objective: (Error 9001: objective not found)
Inquiry: Possible change to objective prior to move?
Report: Affirmative. Primary purpose erased prior to critical damage.
Command: Assess threat level.
Visual report: Local fauna movement of single off-colored equine, unknown bird movement in sky. No immediate threat in current environment.
Command: Scan area for possible threats.
Threat level: Minimal. Local fauna power levels negligible. Range of zero to 2,500. No human power levels located.
Command: Expand search.
Threat level: Negligible. Power level of 500,000 in the distance. Potential maximum power unknown. Next highest power level amongst population is 100,000.
Command: Search for previously recorded subjects in database.
Report: No known subjects present.
Command: Recall location.
Location report: (Error 2401: location not found)
Spatial awareness: Surrounding area now recorded in uncharted map. Possible reshaped Earth. Further assessment required.
Inquiry: Database damaged upon destruction?
Report: All files accounted for. No damage accounted for.
Inquiry: Status of companions?
Report: Subjects #17-18 status unknown. Bio-android status unconfirmed.
Inquiry: Probability of allied success?
Report: 68.325% with previous calculations in effect.
Report assessment: Earth will be fine. Self-termination by Cell both successful and failure. Systems operational, though termination was achieved. Unknown reason for discrepancy.
Command: Prioritize survival. Make primary objective.
Objective updated: Survive.
Auditory report from subject ‘unknown source’, “Hey, I don’t remember Granny Smith or Big Macintosh adding no big green scarecrow. Especially not something so…weird.”
Visual report: One meter ahead at knee height is previously noted equine. Physical traits include off-colored orange fur and blonde mane similar to subject #18’s.
Motor skills: Crane neck down to observe equine further.
Inquiry: Did the equine speak? Databanks do not ascribe this trait to such animals—
Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “Woah nelly! It’s moving!”
Power level: 25. Negligible untapped potential. No threat posed.
Visual report: Unknown orange equine turns to run. They quickly cross the field and head for a nearby structure.
Report assessment: The equine just spoke and reacted to my movement with fear. Is it sapient? Are there others?
Command: Sense for other equines within 10 kilometers.
Report: Nearby herd to the north-east in town like settlement.
Report assessment: Equines with speaking capabilities may assist in explaining current predicament, despite low power levels.
Motor skills: Approach the structure ‘unknown orange equine’ ran to.
Visual report: The door to the structure (possible residence center) is knocked open as ‘unknown orange equine’ leaps out with fervor. In its mouth is a rake, which it points at me as I continue to approach.
Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “Git, whatever you are! We don’t need no more monsters around here!”
Definition “monster”: a strange or horrible imaginary creature.
Definition assessment: Large size and obviously unfamiliar features would indeed cause some beings to be apprehensive.
Situation assessment: Any attempt to repel me will end in the equine harming itself. That would be unfortunate.
Motor skills: Movement halted and arms raised in symbolic peace gesture.
Dialogue response: “I mean you no harm. I only wish to inquire about the land.”
Visual report: ‘Unknown orange equine’ takes a step back on its porch, seemingly shocked by my speaking. I could say the same about its own speech, although I have been programmed to have a much higher threshold to surprise. It lowers the rake to the ground slowly before raising to its full height.
Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “Y-you can talk?”
Motor skills: I nod and move my lips so that they form a smile. Best to appear ‘friendly’ so as to not startle the creature again.
Visual report: The equine sighs and shakes its head, though given its newfound lack of hostility I believe I have succeeded in earning a small level of trust.
Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “Okay, well ah’ve never seen anythin’ like you, so you stay here for now, okay? I’ll be back in a couple-a minutes.”
Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “So this here is the…thing I found. What is it?”
Chronometer: Unknown time, passage of 27 minutes and 52.91 seconds since request to stay still.
Initial visual report: previous equine has returned with second equine of similar size yet different build. Second subject possesses yellow fur and pink mane.
Command: Recall equine coloration from database and compare with nearby equines.
Report: No matches found.
Auditory report from subject ‘unknown yellow equine’, “Oh, my, I’ve never seen something quite like it. What do you think it is, Applejack?”
Subject added: Applejack, previously known as ‘unknown orange equine’.
Power level: 5. No untapped potential. No threat posed.
Threat warning: Dismissed.
Auditory report from subject ‘unknown yellow equine’, “Hi, I’m Fluttershy. What’s your name?”
Subject added: Fluttershy, previously known as ‘unknown yellow equine’.
Model information: Retrieving file…
Report: Synthetic Android Sixteen. Creator Doctor Gero of the Red Ribbon Army-
Report assessment: Information extraneous.
Dialogue response: “My designation is Android 16.”
Inquiry: Possibility of native androids on planet?
Calculating: Variables being assessed.
Report: Inconclusive results. More data required.
Inquiry: Estimated probability of native android on planet?
Report: 0.01% probability.
Auditory report from subject ‘Fluttershy’: “Oh wow, you even speak our language! I’m so happy I can communicate with you. I’ve never seen anything like you before!”
Dialogue response: “And I have never met a talking equine before today.”
Inquiry: Are talking equines ‘fun’ or ‘cool’?
Report: Further data required. Will observe for sake of companions. ‘Fun’ wheeled vehicles nearby will be recorded for subject #17.
Auditory report from subject ‘Fluttershy’: “You’ve never met a pony that talks before?”
Visual report: Subject displays slack jawed expression linked to surprise and/or shock. Subject Applejack has departed but is lingering nearby building they originally exited. Power sensors compensating for lack of view for Applejack for subject is standing behind visual range.
Inquiry: Talking equine information in database?
Report: No matches found.
Motor skills: Nod to conversational partner to signify agreement.
Dialogue response: “Affirmative. The only data I have is of non-speaking equines. I am from a…”
Inquiry: Probability of native to unknown planet knowing name of Earth?
Report: Likelihood low but incalculable given lack of data.
Dialogue response continuation: “…different place.”
Auditory report from subject ‘Fluttershy’: “I can only imagine. I was going to go back home to feed Angel, my baby bunny. Do you want to come with me? When we get back maybe I can find a way to help you get comfortable here?”
Inquiry: Likelihood of negative outcome concerning speaking equines?
Report: Likelihood low but incalculable given lack of data.
Objective updated: Follow ‘Fluttershy’ to residence. Subject appears helpful and poses no threat.
Report: Trust levels set to ‘High’ for subject ‘Fluttershy’. Are you sure you want to override previous status of ‘Unknown’?
Command: Overwrite. Equine assistance necessary. No threat posed of being injured or dismantled.
Dialogue response: “Thank you. Your kindness is appreciated.”
Command: Add ‘Fluttershy’ to list of priority protected entities.
Seventeen…Eighteen…
Report: Motor skills displayed facial expression of ‘pain’ despite no physical harm.
Command: Ignore report.
—why are you still here—
—we’re the three amigos—
—I like you—
Report: Unqualified dialogue of unknown origin. Assessing—
Report: (Err_r 0000: Sys_e————————————————__——————————————————————————wwww——————————————————————————————————————
