Designation: Android Sixteen

by Thunderscourge

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Crossover, Human, Slice of Life
Length: 1272

Android 16 awakens in an unfamiliar place with no recollection as to how he may have ended up there. Can the nature loving android resist the allure of adorable equines and find his way home?

"Hi, I'm Fluttershy. What's your name?"

Model information: Retrieving file…

"My designation is Android 16."

Location: Unknown world. Equine life forms identified.

Objective: Survive.

(Dragonball Z/My Little Pony Crossover, with Dragonball Z Abridged references)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-15 03:04:25 UTC

Status Report One: Loss of Data

Initiating: Full system reboot.

Processing…

Updates: Self-termination protocol halted.

Status report: All systems activated.

Initiating: Survival protocols.

Initial visual report: Surrounding area contains unfamiliar trees. Land and nearby structures belong to category ‘farm’. Trees lead into thicker forest. Current position is sitting on ground.

Motor skills: Rise to feet to further observe surrounding area.

Report assessment: Location does not fit continuity. Relocation

Inquiry: Critical damage sustained. Systems operational?

Report: (Error 518: unknown activation cause)

Inquiry: Purpose for new location? List primary objectives.

Objective: (Error 9001: objective not found)

Inquiry: Possible change to objective prior to move?

Report: Affirmative. Primary purpose erased prior to critical damage.

Command: Assess threat level.

Visual report: Local fauna movement of single off-colored equine, unknown bird movement in sky. No immediate threat in current environment.

Command: Scan area for possible threats.

Threat level: Minimal. Local fauna power levels negligible. Range of zero to 2,500. No human power levels located.

Command: Expand search.

Threat level: Negligible. Power level of 500,000 in the distance. Potential maximum power unknown. Next highest power level amongst population is 100,000.

Command: Search for previously recorded subjects in database.

Report: No known subjects present.

Command: Recall location.

Location report: (Error  2401: location not found)

Spatial awareness: Surrounding area now recorded in uncharted map. Possible reshaped Earth. Further assessment required.

Inquiry: Database damaged upon destruction?

Report: All files accounted for. No damage accounted for.

Inquiry: Status of companions?

Report: Subjects #17-18 status unknown. Bio-android status unconfirmed.

Inquiry: Probability of allied success?

Report: 68.325% with previous calculations in effect.

Report assessment: Earth will be fine. Self-termination by Cell both successful and failure. Systems operational, though termination was achieved. Unknown reason for discrepancy.

Command: Prioritize survival. Make primary objective.

Objective updated: Survive.

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown source’, “Hey, I don’t remember Granny Smith or Big Macintosh adding no big green scarecrow. Especially not something so…weird.”

Visual report: One meter ahead at knee height is previously noted equine. Physical traits include off-colored orange fur and blonde mane similar to subject #18’s.

Motor skills: Crane neck down to observe equine further.

Inquiry: Did the equine speak? Databanks do not ascribe this trait to such animals—

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “Woah nelly! It’s moving!”

Power level: 25. Negligible untapped potential. No threat posed.

Visual report: Unknown orange equine turns to run. They quickly cross the field and head for a nearby structure.

Report assessment: The equine just spoke and reacted to my movement with fear. Is it sapient? Are there others?

Command: Sense for other equines within 10 kilometers.

Report: Nearby herd to the north-east in town like settlement.

Report assessment: Equines with speaking capabilities may assist in explaining current predicament, despite low power levels.

Motor skills: Approach the structure ‘unknown orange equine’ ran to.

Visual report: The door to the structure (possible residence center) is knocked open as ‘unknown orange equine’ leaps out with fervor. In its mouth is a rake, which it points at me as I continue to approach.

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “Git, whatever you are! We don’t need no more monsters around here!”

Definition “monster”: a strange or horrible imaginary creature.

Definition assessment: Large size and obviously unfamiliar features would indeed cause some beings to be apprehensive.

Situation assessment: Any attempt to repel me will end in the equine harming itself. That would be unfortunate.

Motor skills: Movement halted and arms raised in symbolic peace gesture.

Dialogue response: “I mean you no harm. I only wish to inquire about the land.”

Visual report: ‘Unknown orange equine’ takes a step back on its porch, seemingly shocked by my speaking. I could say the same about its own speech, although I have been programmed to have a much higher threshold to surprise. It lowers the rake to the ground slowly before raising to its full height.

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “Y-you can talk?”

Motor skills: I nod and move my lips so that they form a smile. Best to appear ‘friendly’ so as to not startle the creature again.

Visual report: The equine sighs and shakes its head, though given its newfound lack of hostility I believe I have succeeded in earning a small level of trust.

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “Okay, well ah’ve never seen anythin’ like you, so you stay here for now, okay? I’ll be back in a couple-a minutes.”

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown orange equine’, “So this here is the…thing I found. What is it?”

Chronometer: Unknown time, passage of 27 minutes and 52.91 seconds since request to stay still.

Initial visual report: previous equine has returned with second equine of similar size yet different build. Second subject possesses yellow fur and pink mane.

Command: Recall equine coloration from database and compare with nearby equines.

Report: No matches found.

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown yellow equine’, “Oh, my, I’ve never seen something quite like it. What do you think it is, Applejack?”

Subject added: Applejack, previously known as ‘unknown orange equine’.

Power level: 5. No untapped potential. No threat posed.

Threat warning: Dismissed.

Auditory report from subject ‘unknown yellow equine’, “Hi, I’m Fluttershy. What’s your name?”

Subject added: Fluttershy, previously known as ‘unknown yellow equine’.

Model information: Retrieving file…

Report: Synthetic Android Sixteen. Creator Doctor Gero of the Red Ribbon Army-

Report assessment: Information extraneous.

Dialogue response: “My designation is Android 16.”

Inquiry: Possibility of native androids on planet?

Calculating: Variables being assessed.

Report: Inconclusive results. More data required.

Inquiry: Estimated probability of native android on planet?

Report: 0.01% probability.

Auditory report from subject ‘Fluttershy’: “Oh wow, you even speak our language! I’m so happy I can communicate with you. I’ve never seen anything like you before!”

Dialogue response: “And I have never met a talking equine before today.”

Inquiry: Are talking equines ‘fun’ or ‘cool’?

Report: Further data required. Will observe for sake of companions. ‘Fun’ wheeled vehicles nearby will be recorded for subject #17.

Auditory report from subject ‘Fluttershy’: “You’ve never met a pony that talks before?”

Visual report: Subject displays slack jawed expression linked to surprise and/or shock. Subject Applejack has departed but is lingering nearby building they originally exited. Power sensors compensating for lack of view for Applejack for subject is standing behind visual range.

Inquiry: Talking equine information in database?

Report: No matches found.

Motor skills: Nod to conversational partner to signify agreement.

Dialogue response: “Affirmative. The only data I have is of non-speaking equines. I am from a…”

Inquiry: Probability of native to unknown planet knowing name of Earth?

Report: Likelihood low but incalculable given lack of data.

Dialogue response continuation: “…different place.”

Auditory report from subject ‘Fluttershy’: “I can only imagine. I was going to go back home to feed Angel, my baby bunny. Do you want to come with me? When we get back maybe I can find a way to help you get comfortable here?”

Inquiry: Likelihood of negative outcome concerning speaking equines?

Report: Likelihood low but incalculable given lack of data.

Objective updated: Follow ‘Fluttershy’ to residence. Subject appears helpful and poses no threat.

Report: Trust levels set to ‘High’ for subject ‘Fluttershy’. Are you sure you want to override previous status of ‘Unknown’?

Command: Overwrite. Equine assistance necessary. No threat posed of being injured or dismantled.

Dialogue response: “Thank you. Your kindness is appreciated.”

Command: Add ‘Fluttershy’ to list of priority protected entities.

Seventeen…Eighteen…

Report: Motor skills displayed facial expression of ‘pain’ despite no physical harm.

Command: Ignore report.

—why are you still here—

—we’re the three amigos—

—I like you—

Report: Unqualified dialogue of unknown origin. Assessing—

Report:           (Err_r 0000:                                   Sys_e————————————————__——————————————————————————wwww——————————————————————————————————————