Glimmer On

Where was I? All I could see around me was the blinding white of the snow-capped mountains, with nothing but snow stretching on as far as the eye could see. I remembered running, and then a painful force to my head as I blacked out.

I was a monster. All I wanted was for my fellow ponies, ponies I could once proudly call my friends, happy. But even the word “friend” seemed foreign to me now. I was an enemy to everyone now. Even myself.

“The only way to be happy is if we are all equal!”

Lies, all lies, no one was happy now. They were happy with their cutie marks, and I had simply failed them all. Useless, pathetic runt of a pony…

White everywhere, not a single pony in sight.

I lifted a tired hoof and trudged on, dying inside from my loneliness that I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

~.~.~

A hood over my head, I stole a final self-indulging glance at the village I once led. The sound of music blasted everywhere, and the sweet scent of cupcakes wafted temptingly towards me. Everyone’s eyes were bright and happy, and I had done my job. They were happy. I’m happy too. I took a hoofstep in their direction, but then stopped themselves.

“Enemies aren’t allowed here,” I muttered bitterly before abruptly turning away. But before I left, a voice interrupted me.

“Hello, miss! Want to join in?” A polite voice queried. I saw the purple alicorn princess smile at me, holding out a cupcake. A real smile, not the fake ones which I had been used to.

I was taken aback at first, but then shook my head, forcing a small, nervous grin. “No thanks, I’m busy,” I muttered, trying to disguise my voice before trotting off briskly.

It was when I was sure I was out of sight that I let my hood fall, revealing my grimy, tangled mane and tail that once used to be clean and luscious. I collapsed to the ground in sheer exhaustion, knowing that no one would find me here at all. A few crystalline tears slipped from my eyes.

And my world spiralled into the comforting darkness.

~.~.~

Starlight… a deep voice moaned. I opened my eyes, feeling beads of sweat trickle down my face in terror. No. Terror wasn’t right. A pony like me was never terrified of anything. The word would be… apprehensive.

I looked everywhere, but saw nothing. Nothing at all. Only an endless white space. My slow, cautious walk emerged into a full gallop as I started to panic, the voice following me wherever I went. It seemed familiar, but yet I couldn’t place who it was.

Starlight. Starlight. STARLIGHT! The voice had been just a soft murmur at first, but now, it boomed in my head, and no matter where I ran, it was just as loud. With that one word, I could hear the insults ringing already. Stupid foal. Greedy. Manipulative. Cowardly. You should be banished from Equestria. You ran away from the problems you had caused. You-

“Stop it!” I snarled, but my confident pretence quickly fell. “I mean… please stop…” I whispered, although the tone of it was more like begging.

I curled up on the floor, realising that running wasn’t going to help. “Just… show yourself.” I muttered. “Stop…”

The voice laughed mockingly, making me feel even smaller. So you’re going to stop running away? Has the great Starlight Glimmer become such a weak coward?

“I said stop!” I cried, squeezing my eyes shut and burrowing into my hooves. But it didn’t. It was so cold, so mocking, just like all the other ponies…

But amidst the chaotic jumble of insults, a warm voice overtook them all. One that I least expected to be here. Starlight, stop it. What was I doing? I wasn’t doing anything. But the horrible voice died down, and I lifted my head gingerly. My eyes widened as I saw none other then Princess Luna herself landing next to me.

I looked at her with cold eyes. “It’s all a dream, isn’t it? You put me through this, didn’t you?”

She nodded and I harrumphed, standing up to leave. But a strange magical force held me back, and I saw a dark blue glow surrounding me. My horn glowed feebly in an impossible attempt to repel the legendary alicorn magic, but faded away in a matter of mere seconds. Princess Luna sat me down next to her.

“Consider this, Starlight. Why do you think the voices stopped?” I glared at her before thinking. She said Starlight, but it wasn’t me who stopped. Unless…

“The voice was me?” I asked doubtfully. “But why would I say such horrible things to myself?”

Luna sighed before answering. “It’s something very simple, really. You know the feeling of guilt, right?” I paused hesitatingly before nodding. Guilt was something I was familiar with. Even though I thought, no, I knew my vision was right, I felt the guilt every time the screams of one going through the agonising process rang through the Vault.

“You’re feeling guilty, Starlight, and that’s a feeling that I can relate to,” Luna continued. “At first, it was just bringing ponies together to lead happy lives, but over time, the greed in you swelled, and the more you laid eyes on the Vault, the more that hunger for control swelled.”

I turned away. “I’m not guilty. It was those ponies. They were the ones messed up my plans!” I fought back through gritted teeth.

The princess disagreed with me and shook her heads. She stood up, flexing her wings. “Come, let us go somewhere,” She said quietly.

I lifted myself with my own magic. “Where?” I asked with a snarky tone, following Luna out of the trapping white void that I never seemed to be able to escape from.

I heard Luna’s voice float down to me and we broke away from the world of white, the myriad of beautiful, vivid colours almost seeming to blind me at first.

“Somewhere where you can change the fate you think you have, and reverse all your wrongs.”