The end and the beginning
You know, I'm not one for scary stories. I never was. And I was also afraid of the dark. Sometimes the other crusaders and I would play at night. Only with each other's company and the moonlight “Me, Afraid? Who do you take me for? Fluttershy?” Nah, they didn't have to know, I had to be cool. And cool ponies aren't afraid (to the eyes of others at least).
A talk with Rainbow Dash... A talk with Luna... It all helped, they were there when my fear got the best of me. Even in my dreams the Princess would appear to cease the nightmares. I just had to be confident they would always be there for me; Either they or my friends.
There are times though, when I find myself alone and defenseless. With a simple candle to protect me from the darkness.
I know a candle will do nothing by itself, not the candle nor a pitchfork nor a magical blaster would keep me safe from any monster hiding in the shadows. But the little light it provides makes me feel comfortable, as if that dim light provided a forcefield for me. From what I had heard... What I had been taught... What I had been told, nothing at all was enough to stop them. The only thing you could do, was run and pray they wouldn't get you.
As much as I'd like to deny it, I know Rainbow Dash or my friends won't be by my side at every single moment, and I can't fall asleep whenever I feel like it.
Sometimes I wish I was a unicorn, only to make a little light with a horn, so I could feel like the creatures from the shadows would leave me alone.
I want to believe there are no things like that. I really want to, with all my heart, to believe there's actually nothing to be afraid of. But I can't... Many times I've been told none of it exists, so why do I keep imagining it? Why do I imagine them? I could bet the things I see in my mind are even more terrifying than what adults and storytellers describe.
How long will it be until it stops?! I just want to go to bed without those visions! To be brave, grow up, overcome it like Rainbow Dash did!
My room is dark; My house is dark; And every night, the lanterns inside my house are blown off 'so we can sleep more easily' they say. Really? Why would that make sense?! If darkness was so frightening as they said, who in their sane mind would want to turn a light off?
A ray of moonlight enters through the window in the hallway, which is reassuring enough to make me freeze in my tracks right there.
My room is straight forward, and what would you know? The curtains are closed. Ugh... Great I just have two options: Aim for the bed and wait from ten to twenty long, scary minutes to fall asleep (half an hour after a bad day) or try to open the curtains, navigating through the shadows and hoping not to trip on anything in my way. As it could result in a startle... That could make me scream... And wake everypony up... And I would get scolded...
What would be worse though? Even if I got scolded, that would mean I could safely open the curtains. If I went straight to bed, any sound would make my eyes and wings respond in awkward ways.
When I finally drift unconscious, eight of every ten nights, I dream; six of every ten dreams, that dream's a nightmare; And Princess Luna only shows up in like, a fourth of them. (I really keep track of this)
Might as well get done with this. I choose to go to my bed.
My steps are slow, but firm. Suddenly, something sparks inside me, like a revelation I can't describe properly.
How have I been taught to fight my fears?
How have I learned to hold back my tears?
Is it really to worry what I'm running from?
Or is it an illusion I have trusted far too long?
They always said “Just stay in the light”
“The darkness will drown you with endless fright”
I recall the words as I advance to the room,
Thinking of the image as ruthless doom.
I hear the distrustful sounds from within,
And I think over and over before moving in.
There is something different here in this place,
I can't help but feel, it's asking for a chance.
Now in its embrace, I welcome the shadows;
Not shadows of death, nor of dreadful noises.
But a silent peace, which drives out my woes;
Keeping me safe from the world's twisted courses.
Maybe the evil that I have been avoiding
It's not in the night, but in the day I've been trusting.
I open my eyes. Can't see a thing, but I don't mind anymore. For how long did I stood there, in the middle of the dark room, beats me. Slowly, a smile outlines in my face. Never had I ever felt so calm, and grateful to be alone.
With a jump and flap of my wings, I land on my bed.
My head turns right, then left. This is weird, not the bad kind of weird, just strange. I mean, there are ponies that overcome their fears all of the time. But to do it this suddenly and embrace it as a good thing? I think I broke a record.
The monsters of my subconscious are gone, and I recall the other torments of my life; Like Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, as well as a bunch of other pegasi who still make fun of me.
It seems like this time of the day, the end of the day, that I used to hate and be afraid of, is now the one that will help me get through the dark times of the day.
How can the day be darker than the night? I still ask myself. Saying it like that, kind of doesn't make sense.
Whatever the case, I think I finally understand the true beauty of the night. The beauty Luna is trying to make us see.
There's nothing wrong with hanging out with my friends and I'd certainly prefer to be with them most of the time than being all alone. But right now? Right now I want to recover from today's daytime. For tomorrow will bring more mocking at me, more fun with my friends, advises and scoldings from older ponies; And new chances to get my cutie mark.
That's why right now... I want to forget the dark times of the day, and enjoy the light I just found in the night.
Author's Note
This was inspired by my personal experience. I was always taught to fear all of these things when I was a kid. By cartoons, by stories, you name it.
However, one day I had the revelation I wrote here.
Hope you enjoyed this little piece of thought.
