"In the far reaches of Canterlot lie an old oak tree. Built in that tree is a log cabin. In that log cabin, there's a a little blue stallion with a bleached-blond mane and tail. One who dropped out of college, who had purchased a Maretta 92 via Saddle Arabian black market, and drank sweet tea every day. He-"

"I'm going to stop you right there." Mr. Turner said. "What are you even talking about?"

"Equestrian Spiner! Oops, I meant Sniper!" Sonata giggled. "Silly me. I always stumble over my words."

"The book we were reading was American Sniper."

"Yeah, well guess what, Mr. Tries-To-Grow-His-Hair-And-Goatee-Longer-To-Look-Like-A-Rebellious-Teenager-Again? I'm not even FROM America! I'm a pony like Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Simmers!"

"IT'S SHIMMER! DIDN'T WE COVER THAT WHEN YOUR PSYCHO SISTER DUMPED A PLATE OF BACON ON ME?!"

"Ooh, Simmers is a feisty one today!" Sonata beamed at Mr. Turner. "I'm getting an 'A', I presume?"

The following day, Mr. Turner was fired from the school and had numerous reports filed against him for the death of Sonata Dusk.

Author's Note

Maretta 92, Beretta 92? Get it?