Loafing.
Rainbow Dash was leading her team the Wonderbolts to victory in the Equestria games. She turned to the side to see her friends cheering like mad… even Fluttershy. She finished the last leg of the race, winning for Ponyville. Her teammates lifted her up onto their shoulders and carried her to the party Pinkie had planned celebrating their victory. Rainbow Dash was about to bite into the cake when…
“DASHIE!!!!!!!” screamed Pinkie Pie, waking Rainbow Dash from her sound slumber on a cloud.
“Pinkie?” Rainbow Dash yawned, watching her friend bounce up and down on the trampoline, “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” Pinkie said, her speech interrupted by each bounce, “I just was looking… for you and… I saw you napping… and I thought…”
“Hold it Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash said, “I’ll come down and we can talk on solid ground.”
“Okie… Dokie… Lokie,” Pinkie said.
Rainbow Dash yawned again and glided down from the clouds. She found Pinkie with a tray of freshly made muffins clenched between her teeth.
“Want one?” Pinkie said around the tray, “I made them fresh.”
“Is that all you wanted Pinkie?” Rainbow Dash asked, staring at the tray of food, “I was busy napping.”
“Oh but you need to get moving Dashie,” Pinkie said, putting down the tray, “cause if you sleep too much then you don’t exercise and if you don’t exercise then you eat too much and if you eat too much then you get pudgy and that’s not good. You should always be up and moving, that’s the motto I live by.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, “Pinkie, I’m a primo athlete. I don’t think I’m gonna get pudgy.”
“You can never be too careful though,” Pinkie said, smiling.
“You’re one to talk Pinkie. You eat cotton candy for breakfast,” Rainbow Dash said pointing a hoof at Pinkie, “And ice cream for lunch and whipped cream for dinner.”
“Well I’m me and you’re you silly,” Pinkie giggled.
“Pinkie, is there anything else you wanted?” Rainbow Dash asked, picking up a muffin and biting into it.
“Nope Dashie, I’ve gotta get back to my job at Sugarcube Corner,” Pinkie said, turning to leave, “But I think you need a job to keep you busy.”
“Well what do you do at Sugarcube Corner?” Rainbow Dash asked, nonchalantly.
“Well Dashie,” Pinkie said, “I do a lot of things. Baking, decorating, selling food, planning parties but mostly I loaf.”
“Loaf?” Dash asked, “I thought you said you were working.”
“I am.”
“Where?”
“At Sugarcube Corner.”
“Doing what?”
“Loafing.”
“But that was just what I was doing.”
“Yeah but I work when I loaf,” Pinkie said, pointing a hoof at herself.
“How can you work and loaf?”
“Why not?”
“Do they pay you to do this?”
“Certainly.”
“That makes no sense.”
“Sure it does.”
“What, you go work in a bakery and you don’t do a thing.”
“Oh yes I do.”
“Yeah you loaf.”
“That’s what they pay me for.”
“How much do you get paid?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Eleven bits an hour,” Pinkie said.
“FOR LOAFING?”
“Of course silly-billy,” Pinkie said, “They have to pay me that.”
“Why Pinkie?”
“Cause I belong to the union.”
“I was loafing here and I wasn’t getting paid a dime for it.”
“You aren’t supposed to get paid for that kind of loafing.”
“Gee, do you think I could loaf there with you?”
“Oh you gotta join the union first.”
“A union of loafers?”
“Yeah you’ll probably get in trouble if ya don’t.”
“You mean I gotta join a union to loaf?”
“Yes.”
“You mean I can’t loaf without belonging to the union?”
“I should say not. It’s illegal.”
“Don’t tell anypony,” Dash said, “But I was here loafing without the union knowing.”
“Oh that’s a different kind of loafing. I work when I loaf. You’re just lazy. Not that I blame you though. I mean if I had to be so awesome I think I’d be lazy too.”
“How am I lazy and you’re hard-working?”
“I work when I loaf.”
“How can you work and loaf at the same time?” Rainbow asked.
“It’s easy,” Pinkie said, “First you knead dough.”
“But that’s why I’m loafing,” said Dash, “Cuz I got no dough.”
“Oh ya gotta have dough to loaf.”
“Well how do I get dough?”
“The Cakes give me dough.”
“But don’t you get dough AFTER you loaf?”
“No silly, you knead dough FIRST to start loafing.”
“How do you get the dough before you loaf?” Dash said, “I thought you get paid after you work.”
“You do.”
“But you just said you get dough before you loaf.”
“I do.”
“HUH?!?!”
“You get dough to loaf and then you get paid.”
“YOU GET PAID TWICE?!?!”
“Of course not silly-billy.”
“But you just said?!?!”
“I said what I meant and I meant what I said.”
“Well can I join this union of loafers?”
“Sure Dashie. You just gotta to the National Union of Equestrian Loafers.”
“Oh.”
Pinkie suddenly had a thoughtful look in her eye, “Ya know Dashie, I come from a whole family of loafers.”
“I thought you lived on a rock farm.”
“I did. But when we needed extra money, my whole family would get jobs as loafers. My dad was a bigger loafer than me ya know.”
“Really?” Dashie asked, “Bigger than me?”
“Oh Dashie, you’re no loafer.” Pinkie said.
“Oh good.”
“Nope you’re just lazy.”
“YOU JUST SAID I WAS NO LOAFER!!!!!”
“And you aren’t. You’re just lazy.”
“HOW CAN I BE LAZY BUT NOT BE A LOAFER?!?!”
“Tsk, tsk, Dashie, you just don’t get it do you?”
“Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash asked, “I’ve just got one question. What makes a hot air balloon go up?”
“Hot air,” Pinkie said.
“What’s holding you down?” Rainbow said, glaring at Pinkie.
Pinkie glared at Rainbow Dash and turned back to Sugarcube Corner.
“Oh Dashie, before I go, do you have two tens for a five?”
“Sure-“ Rainbow Dash began, “Wait, NO PINKIE!”
“Okay well bye Dashie!”
Rainbow Dash shook her head and then headed back to her cloud trying to rejoin her dream where she had left off.
“What was that all about?” Twilight asked from where she sat, eating a daffodil and daisy sandwich with Spike by her side.
“Pinkie being Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes.
The two mares and dragon burst into a fit of uncontrolled giggles.
“And that’s how Equestria was made! Come back next time and I’ll tell you about the time Dashie tried to loaf. It’s hilarious!”
The End.
Author's Note
The story that inspired this is Who's on First Dashie! by sonicfan05, it's pretty funny.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/236535/whos-on-first-dashie
