Pinkie's Poem Problem

by Lord Pretty Pie

Rating: everyone
Tags: Zecora, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1452

"Pinkie Pie has been known to rhyme from time to time, but when a constantly rhyming voice invades her mind, some simple peace and quiet is all she wants to find."

Imagine, if you will, a voice inside your head. A voice who was narrating all you did and said. Slowly growing louder, rhyming all the while, and now tell me: Could you pass this trial? Join us as we visit the life of Pinkie Pie, and watch as we see just how she struggles by.

Published 2015-05-17 07:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-17 07:30:02 UTC

Chapter 1

“The average day in Ponyville always starts the same, for a certain earth pony with a pink and poofy mane. She travels through town square, a literal bounce in every step, and gives a hearty ‘Hello!’ to everypony who is met. But this particular morning, something gave her cause to stop… ‘Who’s saying all of this?’ Quite out loud she thought.

“Others all around her stared and whispered under breath, ‘Something’s up with Pinkie Pie… But what else did we expect?’

“She tried to tell them, ‘Listen! There’s a voice that’s making rhymes!’ but they just thought her… Stricken. She gets like this at times.

“Could the others all not hear it? Was it all just in her head? Maybe she should try again tomorrow… for now just crawl back into bed… But no, she had plans she mustn’t keep on putting off. She was meant to watch the store front, what could she tell her boss? The Cakes were kindly ponies, and they gave her her own loft, but who would keep a tenant whose payments all had stopped? Besides, it’s just a bit of rhyming; she did that all the time! Though odd, it shouldn’t bother her, you’d think it’d be sublime. Her decision all but made, and with an only slightly forced smirk, she plotted out her course and made her way to work.

“Sugarcube Corner, the sweetest shop in all the town, Pinkie stood behind the counter and did her best not to frown. As ponies came and went, she kept it together fine at first, but while she hoped she would get better, things just may have gotten worse. Pinkie tried not to let it, she tried to break the verse but no matter how she said it, The Voice would speak up first.

“’These cupcakes go great with Oranges!’ She told a guest with a sly grin, but oranges only can’t be rhymed if they’re last of the line they’re in. Pinkie let out a huff, gave a stomp and a pout, to which the guest responded ‘I think I’ve changed my mind… Today I’ll be eating out.’
“Pinkie took a deep breath and looked around the store. Something was off… The store was empty, ‘Usually there are… More…’ Pinkie looked down defeated, staring at her feet. ‘Is this what you wanted? I accept it, I’ve been beat.’ But The Voice did not acknowledge her, it went on as it had all day, not directly responding, just narrating what she’d say.

“It was then that another guest happened to come in. Pinkie forced on her best fake smile, and looked up… To see a friend. All composure broken, she ran up to meet the mare, ‘Oh, Twilight!’ She wailed, her face buried in her hair.

“Twilight gently held her and asked ‘Pinkie are you ok?’

“’NO!’ Pinkie snorted, ‘It’s been an awful day!’

“Twilight stepped back slowly and looked her in the eye ‘This is so unlike our happy Pinkie Pie. Tell me, what’s the matter; I’m sure I can help you out. That, after all, is what friendship’s all about.’

“Pinkie softly flinched at yet another rhyme, but surly it was a coincidence, just this one time. ‘You probably won’t believe me,’ she told Twilight with a sigh.

“Twilight laughed, ‘Try me,’ So Pinkie told her about The Guy.

“’He’s always Rhyming! But only I can hear him!’

“At this Twilight’s face grew a little grim. ‘Have you tried saying Oranges?’ Oh, not this joke again.

“To that Pinkie giggled, and nodded in consent, ‘I’ve tried everything I can think of, but now my mind is spent.’

“Twilight mulled it over, and mused ‘I think I know who we need to see.’ So, she and Pinkie Pie headed off to Everfree.

“The two friends walked together, sticking side by side, as the forest grew only darker, and branches hid the sky. At first the path they followed was wide and well-worn, but as they traveled deeper, it grew narrow and forlorn. Shadows growing thicker, dirt was turned to mud, briars thorns and thistles sharp enough for drawing blood, and all around them; Silence. Not a creature here was stirring. The usual sounds of nature would be far more reassuring. But as they both decided that surely they were lost, they finally reached the clearing of which they had sought.

“Here, tangled deep within the forest laid a modest hut, owned by a zebra whose door was never shut. As the two approached, out walked the zebra mare, who gave a knowing nod to the nearing pair.

“’I have been waiting; I knew that you would come.’ The zebra told the ponies, ‘I know what must be done.’

“Pinkie Pie threw herself to the ground and kissed the zebra’s hooves, ‘Please!’ She begged, ‘Anything! Just tell me what to do!’

“Twilight rolled her eyes, and pulled Pinkie back upright, ‘But Zecora,’ she asked, ‘how’d you know we’d be here tonight?’

“Zecora laughed, and replied ‘I have seen the signs… Gather around, Little Ponies, I think it’s story time!’”

“As the zebra’s story started and the ponies each turned an ear, Pinkie found a problem; she simply couldn’t hear! The voice, it kept on talking, and no matter how she leaned, she couldn’t hear the story for The Voice had intervened. Worried, she looked around her, and stuck her hooves into her ears, calling out to Twilight, voice drenched in fear, ‘The Voice is getting louder! It’s screaming in my head!’ Pinkie writhed in pain wishing she were dead. She saw Zecora speaking, and Twilight talking back, but over the voice’s timber she had trouble keeping track.

“Suddenly Twilight grabbed her, mouth framing the words she yelled. Pinkie read ‘You can stop it! You just need to rhyme as well!’

“Pinkie stopped dumbfounded and thought she had misheard, but without a better plan she went ahead and slurred: ‘Uh… I’m super-duper sick of listening to this jerk, so here goes nothing! I really hope this works!’

"They all sat and waited, Pinkie’s eyes held shut tight until Twilight finally spoke up, ‘Pinkie? Are you alright?’

“Pinkie’s eyes shot open and she shouted to the sky ‘I can hear again!’ And they all let out a sigh.

“Zecora told her ‘Quickly! Do not let the rhyming end! If you let it go too long it will just start up again!

“Quickly Pinkie shouted, ‘Oh, right! I can do that! Uh… Has anypony noticed that Twilight’s getting fat?’

“’Hey!’

“’OH! Sorry! It’s the first thing that came to mind! Under all this pressure rhymes are hard to find!’

“Twilight shook her head, saying ‘Fine, I guess it’s alright…’ Considering Pinkie’s problem now was not the time to fight.

“And so the day continued, Pinkie rhyming all she said, and soon she clearly noticed a lower volume in her head. And yet it still surprised her, and left her frozen in pure shock, as after one last rhyme the voice suddenly… Stopped.”

Pinkie was frozen. Slowly she looked around, wheels turning, simply trying to process what had just happened. For the first time in what felt like weeks, though it had only been a day, she heard nothing but silence around her. She stood in the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner, a tray of cupcake batter that was on its way to the oven lay splattered across the floor. Pinkie vaguely remembered saying something about “Eating Batter” and “Getting Fatter”, but couldn’t quite remember the set up. And slowly a smile slid across her face. It started as a smirk and grew to a wide toothy grin. And she laughed, a full hearted, deep bellied snorting laugh that left her rolling on the floor, and covered in batter, which only made her laugh even more. And so Pinkie’s Poem Problem drew to a close. And while some may think it a poor solution, requiring Pinkie to continue rhyming indefinitely much like Zecora… Eh. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Author's Note

Well. Here's the first story I'm uploading to FimFiction. I took way longer writing it than I should have, but I'm glad I finally put in the effort to finish it. Rhyming can be fun, but boy is it a pain in the butt to do for any duration. Then again, I suppose the challenge was exactly why I wanted to write this story to begin with.
I know it's not nearly perfect, so I welcome constructive criticism. I kinda feel like it moves by a little too quickly, and some of the lines are a little forced, but over all I like the flow of it well enough.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy!