Chaos at Mach 20

Chapters

Boredom Time
Classroom Time
House Guest Time
Morning Time
Shipping Time
Flashback Time
Wonderbolt Time
Daring Time
Field Trip Time

Boredom Time

Discord stared unblinkingly at the checkerboard ceiling of his living room. Several weeks had passed since the Grand Galloping Gala and life had returned to normal in Equestria. This fact was driving Discord up a wall, specifically the one in his living room. Discord racked his mind for an answer to his intense boredom as he paced a circular path around the room. Tuesday Tea Time with Fluttershy could only sate his attention for so long.

However, Discord couldn't simply revert to his old ways on a whim. Discord pulled such a stunt with Tirek and nearly lost both his friend and power as a result. He was adamant about taking his reformation to heart this time. Still, he couldn't help but release his mischievous side from time to time through the art of prank. These were no ordinary pranks as Discord enjoyed throwing a bit of chaos magic into the mix.

His most recent masterpiece was scrambling the titles of Twilight's library in the middle of her weekly recataloguing. Everytime the books we reordered, the titles would shuffle and begin the cycle again.He had never seen the lavender alicorn so wound up before nor her beleaguered dragon assistant so tired as the process had repeated itself for an entire day before figuring it out. All of Equestria's citizens were subject to his rather irritating wrath at one point or another before eventually becoming accustomed to it. Instead of shock and distress, ponies now regarded his shenanigans with droll acceptance. Some had even taken countermeasures, for instance, Twilight had magic-proofed sections of her new castle against Discord. He had no other company as neither Rainbow Dash nor Pinkie Pie shared his verve for chaotic pranks.

One thought remained in his mind even after the Gala had ended. Fluttershy mentioned the possiblity of a friend to discuss chaos magic. He wore a circular grove in his living room's walls pondering this idea.

"The problem is," Discord fumed, "there is no one like me in Equestria!"

He suddenly stopped and straightened, as if struck by lightning. A wide smiled spread across his face while he slowly floated to an upright position.
"In Equestria," Discord excitedly whispered, "that's the real problem."

He rapidly ascended the stairs to his basement.

"I have to look outside this dimension to find someone like me! Now where did I place that old thing?"

Discord rummaged through the mountain of dust-laden boxes which filled his basement. The contents of the boxes flew across the room, onto a rapidly growing pile, topped by a golden cane resembling a certain alicorn. At last, Discord gleefully gazed upon his prize. A rather decrepit CRT television with a pair of antennae protruding from the top. The Dimensional Viewer was no ordinary television set. Discord had created it during his initial reign of chaos with the purpose of viewing the events of other worlds. Not even Celestia herself knew of its existence as she never ventured into Discord's domain. He lasted used it to observe Twilight's misbegotten adventures in Canterlot High. Discord chuckled to himself remembering that rather absurd event in Equestrian history as he carried the television down to his living room. Discord frowned and tilted his head after setting it against the wall.

"About time for an upgrade I say."

Discord snapped his fingers and the Dimensional Viewer morphed in a modern flat-screen, mounted to the wall. Discord grinned and sat down on his sofa with remote in eagle claw.

"Let's see what the other dimensions have to offer"

The Dimension Viewer flickered to life and displayed the familiar sight of Canterlot High School. Sunset Shimmer manically ran through the hallways with a frenzied look on her face. Discord immediately flipped to the next channel remarking Celestia's former protégé would be too obvious of a choice.

The next image featured a blue genie rapidly shifting between various sizes, shapes, and forms in darkly lit cave. Discord paused for a moment and rubbed his chin with the lion paw before changing the channel again. "Not chaotic enough."

The next image was of a rather garishly dressed clown and elderly man engaged in a struggle flanked by three statues. Their struggle was short lived as the old man was struck down by a bolt of lightning and unceremoniously kicked off the edge of the floating continent. As the clown pushed one of statues out of formation, the scene shifted to a planetary view in time for a massive discharge of energy to shatter a continent. Discord had seen enough and hastily tuned to another channel. "Way too chaotic."

A man ran through an empty city street before tripping and falling on the ground. The man quickly got up, only to be confronted by a pink cat creature in a lab coat. The man raised his hands and pleaded for mercy. The cat responded by producing a phallic purple bat and sending the man careening into the side building with a sickening crunch. Marveling at his carnage, the cat broke into a celebratory dance. Discord watched dumbfounded and silently changed the channel.

Three men clad in uniform stood on the bridge of a starship. Suddenly, four mariachis appeared in a flash of light on the bridge. Three began playing while the fourth danced about, trumpet in the air, taunting the captain. Discord cocked his head to the side before flipping to another channel."I don't know why but I feel like I've met him before. Anyway, too powerful."

The Dimension Viewer showed a verdant mountain before zooming in an old school building. It appeared abandoned surrounded by foliage with a barely visible dirt path leading to it. However, the scene inside told a different story. The classroom was full of students, bearing blazer style uniforms. They were a diverse bunch, and that's without taking into account the monolithic computer near the back of the room, displaying the face of a young girl with lavender hair. None of them interested Discord as his eyes were glued on the teacher at the front of the room.

Instead of another human, a yellow octopus in a graduation cap and gown stood in front of the blackboard. He was absentmindedly chewing on some candy when a student while a few students stabbed at him. The octopus grinned and dodged the blades, his incredible speed left afterimages. Discord was intrigued by how casually both parties reacted, neither showed any signs of malice or fear. He tapped the Skip Back button and watched the octopus's previous escapades with growing excitement. His favorite involved the octopus and students enjoying a trainride along a river. A sniper was camped on the shore with the octopus in his scope. Upon taking the shot, the octopus caught the bullet in mid-air using a piece of yatsuhashi.

Discord couldn't help but grin at the octopus's antics. It was uncanny to find someone so perfect for his scheme. The two of them had a lot in common, including general pettiness, a love of mischief, and no sense of personal space. The octopus's abilities also lent themselves well to Discord's sense of humor. In short, Discord had found his new friend.

Taking note of all of the octopus's quirks, Discord conjured a whiteboard and started mapping out his scheme. He figured a little incentive may be required and sent a note to Sugarcube Corner requesting their grandest creation along with a generous amount of bits. Struck by inspiration, Discord stretched over to his book shelf, retrieved a small yet massive tome, and placed it on his coffee table. The Draconequus's Almanac, as Discord had elegantly titled it, was a pseudo-encyclopedia written after his initial reformation. Discord had written it partially out of boredom but mostly as an aid for his mischief. Each page had the picture of an Equestrian citizen, their likes, dislikes, personal secrets, and a checklist of past and future pranks. He rapidly leafed through the book until finding the page he sought. With a flick of his wrist, a select few words detached themselves from the page before flying to another pony's entry. Discord flipped through the pages and repeated the process a few more times before shutting the book with a fiendish grin.
"This is going to be a riot!" Discord said excitedly, "Equestria will never see him coming!"

Meanwhile at Canterlot High, Sunset Shimmer was still running through the halls and heavily panting. A hopeful smile spread across her face as the school statue came into view. I'm almost there. I'll be safe once I cross back into Equestria. Just a little further.

Discord tapped the Info button and the word "Korosensei" appeared below the octopus. "How peculiar" Discord noted, before disappearing in a flash. He re-materialized an instant later within the confines of Twilight's castle library. Not knowing whether the alicorn was in the structure, Discord snaked through the bookshelves, avoid any direct light until finding his prize. Starswirl's mirror was still attached to a myriad of scientific contraptions with the magic journal still perched on the altar. Fluttershy had mentioned during a previous meeting how Twilight modified it to allow inter-dimensional travel at any time. Discord would have personally thanked the alicorn for making his job easier if he weren't stealing the mirror outright. Despite placing a magical ward on every tome in the library, Twilight had neglected to do anything to safeguard the mirror. It seemed having the Element of Magic stolen hadn't taught Twilight her lesson. Discord grinned at his good fortune and snapped his fingers, causing both the mirror device and the draconequus to vanish in a burst of light. An identical copy stood in the mirror's place.

Back in his home, Discord slid the mirror next to the Dimensional Viewer. Discord conjured a pair of tinted goggles, a lab coat, and a myriad of tools before setting upon his work. He reached up, grabbed the magic journal, and gazed upon it for a brief moment before gingerly tossing it away.

"I'm sure nobody needs to use this portal at the moment." Discord said as he began to solder several connections between the two devices.

Meanwhile, Sunset Shimmer lay unconscious in front of the statue. She had dove headfirst into the base. Instead of emerging in Equestria, her skull collided with the solid stone base resulting in a minor concussion. The de-powered Dazzlings were passing through and noticed the unconscious girl. They rushed to her side, pilfered her wallet, and returned to their walk.

"Nobody at all." Discord said, wiping the sweat from his brow. By now, he had stripped off a majority of Twilight's modifications and replaced them with a control panel connected to the Dimensional Viewer via a few magenta cables. With Korosensei's image still present on the monitor, Discord powered up the device, causing the mirror to come alive. The mirror attempted to bridge the worlds for several long minutes but no progress was being made. A solid connection formed for seemingly a second before sputtering out. Exasperated, Discord started vigorously smacking the mirror's frame with his lion paw.
"Come on, you piece of junk! Work!"

Suddenly, the connection was made and a yellow swirling vortex formed on the mirror's surface. Discord was felt rather pleased with his progress when a though occurred: the princesses might become suspicious if he disappeared for a few days. They knew it wasn't in his nature to remain quiet for extended periods of time and would investigate. He conjured a scroll and began writing a message.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have been doing much thinking recently and have come to the realization I need more friends. It isn't healthy for me to get jealous when Fluttershy spends time with somepony else. While the citizens of Equestria are anything but unfriendly, I still lack somepony that shares my particular set of interests. I will be taking a trip outside the borders of Equestria in search of new friends. I hope you won't mind but I will be gone for the next four to five days. I will contact you upon my return.

Sincerely,

Discord

He finished the letter with a flourish and emblazoned it with his personal seal before sending it off to the Royal Palace. Having created a workable alibi, Discord grinned as he dove headfirst into the portal. "New friend, here I come!"

Meanwhile, Korosensei had finished eating an eclair and glumly stared at his wallet. A gluttonous appetite for sweets and a junior high school teacher's salary didn't mix well. Korosensei had decided to visit this cafe after learning of its reputation from Ritsu. While the eclairs had lived up to his expectations, they drained what little cash Korosensei had left. Fortunately, tomorrow was payday, meaning he could restock his junk food reserves. Korosensei sighed, stowed his wallet, and glanced at a nearby clock tower which read 1:20. He blinked for moment then began to panic.
"Oh crap! I've lost track of time!" Korosensei yelled. "I must have spent too much time at the Louvre! Class will be starting within the hour!"
Korosensei disappeared without another word, leaving a small dust cloud and several baffled Parisians in his wake. As he soared across the globe at Mach 20, Korosensei could not imagine what awaited at Kunugigaoka Junior High School.

Princess Celestia stood atop her balcony which overlooked the city of Canterlot, glancing at a nearby clock which read six o'clock. A golden aura engulfed her horn as she raised the sun, bathing Equestria in its warming glow. The alicorn returned to her chambers and began preparation for another day of tedious and boring royal duties. This was interrupted by a scroll bearing a familiar seal appearing on her mattress. She tore open the letter with an eager grin that rapidly morphed into a frown upon reading the contents.

Great. Now, I can enjoy the monthly nobility debates without interruption. Ugh... I should happy Discord is actually trying to make new friends but he was reformed for a reason: alleviating my boredom. I should probably tell the others. No doubt they'll be happy to hear this. Celestia ignited her horn and created duplicate scrolls, sending them off in a puff of smoke. She exited the bed chamber and began the long walk to her throne room.
"Of all the weekends for him to disappear..." Celsetia grumbled, trotting down the palace's empty hallways, "Guess I'm in for another long weekend. I hope Discord's at least having fun."

Classroom Time

Discord flew out the portal and collided with a pair of heavy metal doors. Ow. Discord stood up and massaged the sore spot on his skull. He felt around his face before conjuring a large mirror with a snap of his fingers and heaving a sigh of relief at the reflection. Unlike Twilight and Spike, the draconequus had retained his original form and abilities. Discord shuddered at the thought of executing his plan as a powerless human. Somehow, I doubt the "new transfer student" excuse would fly here.

Discord turned his attention to where the portal had opened. It was a storage shed filled with a variety of sport and educational equipment. A small sliding window in the corner provided the only ambient light for the building. He combed the room for portal's exit, carefully examining each object before stopping in front of a mobile whiteboard in the back.

Discord extended his lion paw which partially disappeared, causing the glossy surface to ripple and distort. He grinned before strolling up to and opening the window.

Discord shrunk down to a fraction of his size and slipped outside, sealing the shed's door with an enchanted lock as he left. Can't have any uninvited guests stumbling into Equestria, now can I? He faded from sight and began moving along the adjacent school building's perimeter, following the faint sound of conversation.

Arriving at a window left slightly ajar, Discord peered inside and grinned at the sight of Korosensei's classroom.

Students were still filing into the room, casually chatting about their weekend plans and the upcoming entrance exams. They quickly took their seats and began gearing up for another day of trying to assassinate Korosensei. While a majority were loading their firearms or unsheathing their knives, a few were wrapped up in special preparations such as bespectacled girl with long braids. She was pouring a clear liquid into a soda bottle before placing it back in Korosensei's desk. Discord watched the scene unfold before turning his attention on a group of students near the windows.

Discord recognized several of their faces from the Dimensional Viewer, though one in particular caught his eye: an azure-haired boy with a notepad. He was rather effeminate with a slim figure and wing-like pigtails. A friendly demeanor and short stature only added to his overall harmless appearance. However, there was something about the boy that Discord couldn't place his claw on. Something hidden behind that innocent smile left Discord feeling uneasy.

The hallway door slid open, shaking Discord from his reverie. A crimson-haired boy with yellow eyes had entered the classroom. He closed the door and sauntered towards the rear of the classroom, cradling several wallets in his arm. The other students briefly regarded him with exasperation before returning to their conversations. After taking his seat, he turned and addressed the azure-haired boy near the window. "Yo, Nagisa. You want to catch a movie after class today? It's my treat."

Nagisa responded with nervous smile. "Karma, did something happen on the way to school?"

"I ran into some delinquents who were giving an underclassman a hard time." Karma's subdued smile quickly morphed into a devilish grin. "I gave them a lesson in manners and took these wallets as payment."

The students eagerly gripped their weapons as the clock ticked down, ready to strike at a moment's notice. With only a minute left and no Korosensei in sight, they exchanged puzzled glances with each other. Korosensei took the utmost pride in being an educator, so being late for the start of class was unheard of.

"I wonder if something happened to Korosensei..." Nagisa wondered aloud just the building began to rattle.

Korosensei burst into the classroom in time for the clock to strike nine o'clock, stopping in front of the blackboard and panting heavily. After regaining his composure, he retrieved the attendance book from his robe and placed it on the front desk.

"My apologies for cutting it so close, children. I lost track of time while in Paris." Korosensei grinned as the students brandished their weapons. "Now, let's begin homeroom. Class monitor, your orders please."

"Stand up! Attention! Bow!" A majority of the students let loose a hailstorm of gunfire aimed at the front of the classroom while Nagisa and a few others with knives lunged directly at their octopus teacher. Korosensei danced around the combined attack with anti-sensei bullets bouncing harmlessly off the wall and blades slicing through empty air. It was a typical morning for Kunugigaoka's Class 3-E.

Discord had peeled himself off the building exterior in time to drink up the chaotic spectacle. He identified a few students as Korosensei called out their names over the cacophonous gunfire. The students ceased the assault after a minute and swapped out their weapons for notebooks. While Korosensei wrote out the day's lesson plan, Discord teleported up to the fluorescent lights and plotted his next move.

Those kids might prove troublesome. I just have to bide my time before making my grand entrance. Anyway, it gives more time to gather intelligence.

Surveying the classroom from his vantage point, Discord's gaze settled on the notepad laying on Nagisa's desk. The heading of Korosensei's Weakness #37 on the open page had piqued Discord's interest. Hard to imagine what sort of weaknesses Korosensei would have...let alone over thirty of them.

Discord soon felt his lingering sense of boredom return, much to his dismay. The students rarely shot at Korosensei, instead focusing on the lesson at hand. In spite of Korosensei's energy and enthusiasm, the academic discourse nearly lulled Discord to sleep. He began leafing through the latest issue of Power Ponies in order to stay awake. I'm positive Spike can wait a bit to read the finale of 'Battle of Balkham'. It's not like he's been anticipating it for weeks.

Class went uninterrupted for several periods with Discord being occupied with the comic. Korosensei used his mach speed to instruct each student individually, personalizing the lesson to their strengths and weaknesses. After morning of hectic studying, the class stowed their books as lunch break began. The students resumed their conversations and took out their bento-boxes while Korosensei retrieved a soda bottle from the front desk. He quickly downed the sugary drink before recoiling in shock. Korosensei grew horns and turned a deep purple before smiling at the bespectacled girl. "I see you laced my cola with selenic acid, Okuda. You've come so far since last year."

Discord had nearly finished the comic when the classroom door slid open, revealing a young woman. She wore a turtle-neck sweater and long black shirt with her flowing blonde hair tied in a loose ponytail. The students were mildly shocked by her sudden appearance.

"What are you doing here, Bitch-sensei? Social Studies doesn't start until later." Kayano inquired, voicing the question on everyone's mind.

"Karasuma said he had a meeting with the Ministry of Defense," she said with irritation evident in her voice.

Korosensei had changed clothes in the split second that students' attention was diverted. Instead of his graduation cap and gown, Korosensei now wore a red cap and a simple white shirt with his name written on it. "As a result, Irina-sensei and I will be supervising P.E. today. Come along, children."

Korosensei exited the classroom with the students following suit, weapons in hand. Discord listened for student's footsteps to grow fainter before disappearing in flash of light. He rematerialized a moment later within Nagisa's bag and gazed upon his prize. Discord conjured a blank tome and magically copied the information with a snap of his fingers. After checking the other student's bags and coming up empty clawed, he stroked his beard in vexation. There has to be more than this. Maybe, I'll have better luck with the teachers.

Discord teleported to the staff room and grinned at the laptop and documents left unattended. Aside from miscellaneous academic records, he discovered a few databooks written by Korosensei. They contained information about the entire class, ludicrously detailed to the point of detailing their romantic interests. Discord also found plans for a novella using this information. This could prove useful in the future. Discord copied the contents into the tome and moved to the laptop.

Discord watched the device power up as his claw radiated a purple aura and took on a cybernetic appearance. He reached into the screen, rummaging through a collection of files dating back over a year. The computer's defenses attempted to repel Discord intrusion with no success. Like a simple firewall is going to stop me. While a majority were communications between the government and various assassins, there was a folder containing a numerous files on Korosensei.

He grasped the folder and ripped it from the computer before teleporting back to the classroom. As the students and teachers returned, Discord summoned a cushy armchair and sat down with folder in hand. He tuned out the classroom's chatter and began leafing the amassed documents. Time to see what makes you tick, Korosensei

Another uneventful afternoon passed by in the Crystal Empire. The citizens had settled back into their routines following the excitement of the Equestria Games. From the castle balcony, Princess Cadance wore a content grin as she watched a trio of crystal fillies play in the courtyard.

It's been really peaceful these last few weeks. Sometimes, I wish a little excitement would come my way. Cadance turned to reenter the castle and paused for a moment. Then again, being sent to Tartarus might be enough excitement for a while.

Upon entering the castle, Cadance found a tired Shining Armor slumped against the wall. She kissed him on the cheek before took her seat. "Another long day with the court, dear?"

Shining Armor gave her a warm smile before walking to the base of the throne. "You've got that right. It took three hours just to decide which crops to plant next season."

The throne room doors swung open and revealed Flash Sentry. He trotted up the crystal monarchs before producing a scroll from his saddle bag and bowing. "A message from Prince Celestia, your Highnesses."

"Thank you, Lieutenant. You are dismissed." Shining Armor said with a nod. He watched Flash Sentry exit the throne room before turning his gaze to Cadance, who was holding the scroll in a light blue aura. She had already broken the seal and was reading the message.

"Discord is apparently going to on some sort of friendship quest. He's going to gone for the next few days." She looked down from the scroll to find Shining Armor had perked up.
"That's great news! I can finally conduct a drill without any interruptions." Shining Armor shuddered as memories of last week's training regiment came rushing back. Discord had inspirited the weapons to lead a rebellion against their former owners. The ensuing battle lasted for two hours and demolished a chunk of the barracks.

Cadance tilted her head and eyed her husband with an anxious expression. "You've been ordering a lot of drills lately. If there's something wrong, you can tell me."

The smile fell almost immediately from Shining Armor's face. "Sorry, it's just... I've been feeling kinda worthless lately. Two times Equestria has needed me to protect Canterlot and I failed both times."

"Oh Shiny. It's not your fault. Chrysalis had everyone fooled, and nobody could handle Tirek one-on-one." Cadance placed a comforting wing on Shining Armor' back. "When the time comes again, everypony will see that you're a great captain."

"Thanks for that." He nuzzled her affectionately before gesturing to follow. "Come on, let's get some lunch before the next meeting."

Cadance grinned and followed Shining Armor into the hallway. They trotted to the dining hall where the smell of local delicacies filled the air. After enjoying some crystal berry compote and sharing a crepe, the couple entered the meeting room and seated themselves.

Cadance's mind began to wander as the court officers argued about some flugelhorns being off-key. On the other hoof, maybe I'll go fight the tatzlwurm again.

As the school bell rang and marked an end to another school day, the students packed their supplies in preparation for trekking down the mountainside. Korosensei wished the students a safe weekend while dodging a few parting shots. After watching Karma and Nagisa depart, Korosensei turned his attention to the back of the classroom. "Any problems show up during your diagnostic, Ritsu?"

The monolithic computer had shown no signs of life for the duration of the school day. However, a rectangular screen lit up in response to Korosensei's question. It displayed the image of a lavender-haired girl wearing the same uniform as the other students. She smiled warmly and opened a window displaying the results. "None whatsoever, Korosensei. Are you excited for the series finale tonight?"

"Why, of course." Korosensei glided to the other side of the classroom. "For now, I'm going to collect my paycheck and run some errands."

Korosensei was about to take off when the window closed in front his eyes. He regarded the sudden closure with a mixture of shock and confusion before failing to pry it open.

He darted across the room and found the door equally immovable. Korosensei desperately searched for an exit as apprehension gripped his mind. Despite being the ideal set up for another assassination attempt, Korosensei didn't see any signs of the other students. "Ritsu, what's going on he..."

The words died in Korosensei's throat as he laid eyes upon Ritsu's computer body. Nothing had changed from a few moments ago except for the image on screen. Ritsu's virtual avatar was frozen solid in a block of ice with the same warm smile on her face. Someone had hacked directly into Ritsu's mainframe. That's impossible.

A mysterious voice emanated from behind the octopus teacher. "Don't worry about her, Korosensei. It's a light freeze so she'll thaw out in about 10 to 15 minutes."

Korosensei whipped around and stopped dead in his tracks, a blue pallor spreading across his face. A creature was sitting behind the front desk and casually leafing through a comic book. It resembled something out of myth, a chimerical fusion of various animals. He stared unblinkingly at the otherworldly intruder, barely able to choke out a few words. "Wh-what are you? Wh-who are you?"

"Where are my manners? I haven't properly introduced yet." The creature tossed away the comic book and teleported next to the octopus teacher. "I am Discord, the Lord of Chaos and spirit of disharmony. I've traveled a long way in order to meet you face to face."

Korosensei was profusely sweating and shaking, his initial fear having morphed into full-blown panic. Unlike the caves in Okinawa, he was being confronted by a genuine magical creature. Korosensei's mind frantically searched for a way out of this situation.

Discord cocked his head. "Are you feeling alright?"

"NYUYAAAAAAAAAAH!" Korosensei screamed and rocketed toward the window, all thoughts of collateral damage having left his mind. Instead of shattering under the impact of Mach 20 collision, it stretched around Korosensei before rebounding back to normal. Korosensei was flung against the floor and started ricocheting all over classroom, inadvertently destroying the blackboard and several desks.

Discord watched Korosensei pinball around the room with increasing worry as more desks were smashed to pieces. He summoned a large pillow which Korosensei hit at top speed, resulting in an explosion of feathers.

As the dust settled, Korosensei gazed upon Discord standing amid the ruins of his classroom. "Sorry if I scared you a bit. Allow me to take care of this mess." With a snap of his fingers, the classroom was restored to its rundown glory.

Korosensei's panic was supplanted by a new feeling: confusion. The self-professed "Lord of Chaos" was acting inexplicably cordial, going as far as repairing the damage to the classroom.

Slowly regaining his composure, Korosensei stood up and warily eyed Discord. "I take it that you're not here to kill me."

Discord was momentarily taken back by this remark before erupting in hysterical laughter. "Kill you?! Quite the opposite, in fact. I've come here to become your friend."

Korosensei stared blankly at Discord, having achieved maximum bewilderment at that moment. Discord's statement struck him as completely absurd. Why would such a powerful creature ever want friends? There had to be some ulterior motive.

"I can tell you find this situation rather hard to swallow. Understandable given your particular line of work." Discord sighed. "When we get back to my world, I'll answer any questions you have."

Korosensei began to panic again, imagining what sort of world Discord resided in. He shouted the first excuses that came to mind. "Wait! Hold on a minute! I can't just leave! I have a responsibilities! A class to teach! Students to look after!"

"Don't worry about it. You'll be back before class starts again. Think of it as weekend trip." Discord said dismissively, summoning a small backpack. "I've already packed all your travel amenities, including your favorite pillow. Anyway, don't you want to sample the local delicacies and have a conversation with someone who isn't trying to murder you?"

Korosensei scanned the classroom for any possible escape routes, finding himself completely trapped. He was in no position to refuse Discord's offer. Although, the offer didn't sound too bad itself. "Very well, I'll go. Lead the way."

Discord grinned and snapped his fingers, causing both of them to disappear in a flash of light. They re-materialized moments later inside of the shed. Discord pulled the mobile whiteboard closer and gestured to it, earning a quizzical stare from Korosensei. Discord rolled his eyes and extended a claw into the portal.

Korosensei briefly considered bursting out of the shed and creating as much distance as possible between himself and the draconequus, only to quickly discard this idea. It wouldn't be wise to anger a creature capable of bending reality on a whim. Korosensei took a deep breath and reached into the portal. After retracting his tentacle and momentarily, Korosensei leapt headlong into the portal with Discord following suit.

Minutes after Korosensei and Discord departed for Equestria, the classroom door slid open. Nagisa, Karma, and several other students peered inside before turning to each other. "Korosensei isn't here. He must be out cashing his paycheck. Anyone able to call his cellphone?"

"I tried, but it went straight to voice mail. He probably forgot to charge it." Karma shrugged. "Don't sweat it Nagisa, Korosensei will pop up one way or another."

Nagisa responded with a weak smile. "You're right. I'm just nervous about the entrance exams. I was hoping Korosensei could help me go over the practice test."

"I can help you out with that. Let's meet up at the restaurant where Isogai works tomorrow." Karma smiled and turned to other students. "If anyone else wants to join, feel free." The group murmured in agreement before moving towards the school's exit. However, a lone student remained behind and continued staring at the empty classroom. She had purple hair arranged in a bob cut with an excited look on her face.

"Is something the matter, Fuwa?" She turned and saw Nagisa standing at the ending of the hallway, mild concern showing on his face.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just lost this week's issue of Jump." Fuwa replied nonchalantly, waving Nagisa off. "I'm going look for it. You go ahead, I'll catch up." She disappeared into the classroom before Nagisa could answer. He shook his head and rejoined Karma and the others for the trip down the mountain.

House Guest Time

Korosensei stumbled out of mirror into Discord's living room, nauseous from the inter-dimensional trip. He looked over his shoulder and stared at the device that transported him to this unknown world while struggling to stand up. All he saw was a horse-shoe shaped mirror connected to a television via several cables. The mirror's frame was filled with a swirling yellow vortex. Not what I was expecting from an interdimensional portal

Discord emerged through the mirror portal several moments later, snapping his fingers, causing it to disappear. He tossed the backpack aside and flashed a gracious smile. "I hope you had pleasant trip, Korosensei." Discord knit his brow at the prone teacher. "Tell me, do you feel any different? Traveling between worlds can take a lot out of you."

Korosensei got to his feet, slowly regaining his composure. A cursory glance revealed nothing out of the ordinary. Neither his clothes nor his body had been altered in any way. A quick trip across the room confirmed his ludicrous speed was still intact. He let out a relieved sigh. "Everything seems to be alright." Korosensei then cast a wary gaze at the draonequus. "Was something supposed to happen?"

"No! Nothing at all!" Discord exclaimed, waving his arms placatingly. The mirror had always been used by citizens of Equestria to enter other worlds, never the other way around. He had taken a huge risk by bringing Korosensei through the portal. There was no telling what could have happened. Fortunately, these fears seemed to be unfounded. Discord relaxed and slumped against the wall. "Please, make yourself at home."

Korosensei wasted no time in taking up Discord's offer, taking off at Mach 20. It took him less than a second to tour the entire house and explore every room. Aside from a few surreal design choices, it was fairly ordinary house. Discord only saw Korosensei flicker momentarily accompanied by a miniature shock-wave.

As the dust settled, he noticed Korosensei was eating the last apple from the kitchen. "I never imagined the Lord of Chaos living in such a modest home." Korosensei remarked offhandedly between bites.

Discord was shocked by Korosensei's bluntness, never expecting such a comment about his home. Granted, the Smooze was the only other thing to ever see inside of Discord's home, and he doesn't speak. This was uncharted territory for Discord given his past as an evil overlord.

Discord stroked his beard vexingly. I should hire a re-decorator in future.

Before Discord could offer a retort, Korosensei had already moved to another location. He stood frozen in front of a window, dark blue once again coloring his face. Discord walked up to him and noticed the strange expression on his face. It was equal parts horror and fascination, unsure of which emotion was stronger.

Outside the window, Korosensei glimpsed a world of pure chaos. Islands with alien plants floated amidst a mercurial purple sky. Nightmarish creatures took flight while emitting bone-chilling screeches.

"I wouldn't go out there if I were you. The last pony who became lost was never heard from again," Discord stated matter-of-factly, teleporting to a cushy armchair near the staircase.

Panic flooded Korosensei's thoughts for a brief instant. As Discord's voice echoed within his mind, Korosensei's focus shifted to a single word. It struck him as incredibly out of place in the warning. He shot Discord a quizzical look. "What do you mean by pony?"

Discord grinned and gestured to an identical chair which Korosensei promptly situated himself in. Discord snapped his fingers and a large map appeared on top of the coffee table and unfurled itself. It radiated a faint golden aura as Discord carefully tapped a few locations with his eagle claw. Seconds later, magical windows opened in front of Korosensei.

Korosensei sat there awestruck at the sights before him, mouth hanging agape. The windows displayed a variety of locations, ranging from medieval villages to modern cities. The castle built into a mountain side and the city made of clouds were among the more impressive sites.

However, Korosensei was more interested in the inhabitants rather than the locations. An assortment of colorful equines lined the streets at each location. Looking closer, he began noticing variances among the crowds, scarcely believing his eyes. "I've heard legends about pegasi and unicorns but this is something else. I never expected them to be real." The ponies happily chatted with each other, visiting shops, and buying groceries before slowly dispersing as the sun neared the horizon. "Where exactly am I?" Korosensei asked, tearing his gaze away from the map.

"Allow me to welcome you to Equestria. A land where ponies, griffins, dragons, and other creatures live together in relative peace." Discord tapped Ponyville, Canterlot, and the Crystal Empire on the map, opening windows into their respective castles. They displayed the Princesses in the middle of their royal duties, surrounded by ponies clamoring for a decision on an important matter, the sole exception being Twilight Sparkle, who was completing one of her daily checklists. "The tireless dedication of the Princesses has prevented any major conflicts from arising for several centuries. Although, there is the occasional evildoer bent on world domination. They tend to crop up every few months."

Korosensei still felt uneasy at this time, unsure of Discord's true intentions. "Is that how you figure into all of this?"

Discord's ever present smirk evaporated instantly as he snapped his fingers. The several of the windows coalesced into a single bubble which presented a new scene: Discord perched atop a wooden throne, overlooking a chaotic landscape as two alicorns approached him. "To make a long story short, I once held dominion over all of Equestria. My rule went uncontested until Princess Celestia and Princess Luna rose up and imprisoned me using powerful artifacts called the Elements of Harmony." He spoke in a completely neutral tone. The bubble showed the Discord's statue through various point in history leading up the construction of Canterlot. "I spent the next millennium as a lawn ornament before enacting another reign of chaos...only to be sealed away in less than a day."

"So, you broke free again and need my help with overthrowing the Princesses." Korosensei narrowed his gaze, a hint of anger creeping into his voice.

"That might have been the case several months ago but things change." Discord stifled a chuckle. "To the surprise of everypony, Princess Celestia believed there was good inside of me so she placed her beloved pupil and friends in charge of my rehabilitation."

Korosensei tilted his head at the sudden change in Discord's demeanor. The derision in his voice was replaced by sincerity as a content smile formed.

"I singled one of them out and pretended to be her friend. I was willing to do anything if it meant being free from the Elements, even betraying her trust. That's what I thought anyway." Discord frowned and looked away. "I came to appreciate her company because she was the first pony to treat me kindly. It made me realize that my powers could be used to help others... Well, to an extent, I'm far from perfect." He turned back to Korosensei, brandishing a knowing smile.

Korosensei sat frozen in his seat, taken aback by Discord's admission of his past. It felt more genuine than one could ever expect from a former evil overlord. Discord's smile, however, caught him off guard by implication alone. How much does he know about me? Regardless, his motives don't seem to be malicious. Korosensei let out a sigh of relief. "Since you aren't actively spreading chaos anymore, how do you pass the time?"

"I usually spent a week or so mastering a random skill. I picked up metallurgy and botany a while back." Discord said, pointing to a dartboard with numerous pieces of paper skewered on it. "I've found ways of incorporating them into my practical jokes. They're my way of shaking things up without anypony getting hurt. You should see the looks on their faces after my handiwork. Priceless!"

Korosensei stared at Discord with an expression of dawning realization. All the pieces had fallen into place. "That's why I was brought here."

"Octopus is out of the trap. You've figured me out, Korosensei." Discord threw his arms up in mock defeat, a half smile plastered on his face.

"While I'm no stranger to abusing my powers, I refuse to participate in your mischief. I have my pride as a teacher." Korosensei declared with an air of conviction, straightening his tie. Discord remained unfazed, wearing the same confident grin from when they arrived.

"Are you sure about that?" Discord asked calmly. There wasn't a shred of doubt in his voice. "It's only a few harmless pranks in exchange for the opportunity of a lifetime. You would miss out on exploring Equestria's rich dessert culture. It sure beats deep-fried tissues."

A swarm of bubbles surrounded Korosensei, each of them showcasing one of Equestria's mouth-watering desserts. Spellbound by the tantalizing display, his mouth hung open for several minutes. "Perhaps I was a bit hasty in making my decision." He admitted sheepishly, wiping away a strand of drool.

"I'm so glad you reconsidered." As the bubbles popped, the map vanished in burst of light, replaced by several blank notebooks and an ornate pen. Books flew off their shelves, forming a pile on the coffee table that nearly touched the ceiling. "These should cover anything you want to know about Equestria."

Korosensei immediately began his crash course in all thing Equestria, grabbing the top-most book from the pile, and taking down notes in a blur of motion. Additional tentacles emerged from his sleeves and retrieved more books to replace the ones he finished. Within a few minutes, the completed pile was already seven books high.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, night descended upon Ponyville. Citizens closed their shops and returned home, eager to spend time with family and loved ones. The roads were barren except for a few couples who decided to enjoy a stroll under the starlit sky. The moon's pale glow washed over the small town as its inhabitants peacefully drifted off to sleep.

Inside her castle's crystalline walls, Princess Twilight Sparkle was still awake. She sat alone in the throne room, gazing intently at the pair of books in front of her. The arrival of the newest Daring Do novels had come as a pleasant surprise. There had been on a minor hiatus following their adventures in the Fortress of Talacon. I can't wait to tell Rainbow about this! She'll probably finish it all in one night. Twilight's thoughts drifted to her pegasus friend. We've really become a lot closer since she started reading... The opening of a door roused Twilight from her reverie. Her face immediately lit up as a small purple dragon entered the room. "Spike, you're back. How was the gem hunt with Rarity go?"

"It went great! We found a vein with enough to cover the client from Manehatten." Spike said while happily munching on an emerald. He walked over to Twilight and produced a scroll bearing an official seal. "By the way, this arrived from Princess Celestia earlier today. Sorry I couldn't get it to you sooner."

Twilight flashed him an assuring look before placing the novels on crystal dais and levitating the scroll toward herself. "There's no need to apologize." She magically broke the seal and stared at the parchment, eyes wide in disbelief. As Twilight carefully re-read the message, a wide grin slowly spread across her face. "Spike, clear my afternoon for tomorrow!"

The baby dragon snapped to attention and quickly devoured the rest of his emerald. He disappeared into an adjacent room, returning moments later with Twilight's planner and several scrolls. "Another meeting with the Princesses?" he asked casually, flipping through the planner's pages.

"Not this time." Twilight teleported the scroll off to the archives. "Discord going to be away for a few days. We're going to take this opportunity to reorganize the library in peace. Remember that little prank he pulled on us?"

"How could I forget?" Spike shuddered involuntarily at the mere mention of that day. They had spent hours trying to organize the library to no avail. He recalled in vivid detail how Twilight grew increasingly agitated after each failed attempt, eye twitching and hairs springing out of place. She would have razed the castle along with half of Ponyville if not for Spike talking her down and several pots of herbal tea.

When Discord showed up and explained everything, Twilight was ready to snap his neck. However, this gave Spike pause for thought. "Wait, I thought you cast a spell so Discord couldn't mess with the books anymore."

"I did," she said through gritted teeth, "but that doesn't mean Discord won't think up something else. I swear he only puts effort into finding new ways to annoy ponies." Twilight's irritation quickly subsided as she recalled the letter's contents.

Still, Discord is trying to make new friends. That's progress. The ghost of a smile appeared on Twilight's face.

Korosensei's hypersonic study session about all things Equestria was interrupted by a sneezing fit from Discord. Looking up from an old copy of Predictions and Prophecies, he offered the ailing draconequus a handkerchief. Discord accepted and loudly blew his nose. "Sorry. I don't know what came over me."

"Somepony might be talking about you." Korosensei remarked, placing another completed notebook on the coffee table.

Spike looked up from the planner. "It says you have Twilight Time scheduled with the Crusaders tomorrow."

"Oh." Twilight's ears drooped, imagining the fillies' disappointment upon hearing their weekly meeting was cancelled. However, one thought lingered in the back of her mind. It refused to be silenced. When will you have an opportunity like this again. Twilight vigorously shook her head. "I'll make it up to them later. I'm sure they'll understand."

Spike quickly went to work, rewriting several checklists to accommodate for the change of plans. The sound of quill scratching parchment filled the air.

"Anything else, Twi?"

Twilight glanced at the Daring Do novels sitting across from her. "Also, arrange a meeting with Rainbow after we're done reorganizing the library."

"Done...and done!" Spike put the finishing touches on tomorrow's new schedule and rolled up the scrolls, carrying them off to the other room. "It's getting pretty late, Twi. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night." He yawned and walked off to his bedroom.

"Thanks as always, Spike. Sweet dreams!" Twilight called out.

As the baby dragon disappeared beyond the threshold, a familiar sensation filled the room. She gazed wistfully at tree root chandelier hanging from the ceiling, a castle-warming gift from her friends. I'm glad the girls helped spruce up the castle but...it can still feel a bit empty at times. Twilight sighed and trotted up to her bedroom, carrying the books underneath her wing. She placed them on the nightstand before climbing under the blankets. As thoughts of literary escapades with dashing pegasi danced through her mind, Twilight drifted off to sleep with a warm smile on her face.

As the pile of to-be-read books rapidly shrunk, Discord walked over to the bookshelf and retrieved a small yet massive tome. He dropped it on to the coffee table with an audible thud just as Korosensei completed the last book. "Now for the pièce de résistance! The Draconequus's Almanac contains everything you'll want to know about the citizens of Equestria, including their most embarrassing secrets." Discord emphasized the last point with a particularly impish grin.

As Korosensei eagerly leafed through the tome's, Discord leaned back in the armchair and carefully watched for any changes in expression. Time to see if my bait will work. Korosensei abruptly stopped a few pages from the end, staring at the two entries in front of him. Smiling inwardly, Discord composed himself and teleported behind Korosensei. "I've suspected those two would pair up eventually but, alas, nopony has made a move." Discord sighed melodramatically before taking a few steps. "Still, a princess engaging in such a relationship would create quite the scandal."

Glancing over his shoulder, Discord saw his ploy had bore fruit. A large heart emblazoned with the words Couple Setup had materialized on the back of Korsensei's head.

Suddenly, both of them yawned and looked at each other. Discord smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his neck. "It's probably been a long day for both of us. Perhaps we should turn in for the night and continue this conversation in the morning."

Korosensei's complexion turned pink as he placed the Almanac on top of completed book pile."After everything that happened today, that's sounds nice."

"Regrettably, I can only offer you the sofa to sleep on." Discord said with a guilty look on his face. "The Smooze was last one to use the guest room and I still haven't finished cleaning it." Korosensei nodded in agreement, recalling a slime-coated room from his initial overview of the house. Discord dumped the backpack's contents onto the coffee table and tossed Korosensei his amenities bag and polka-dot pajamas, gesturing toward to the stairs. "I trust you know"-another shockwave rocked the small home- "where the bathroom is." Discord deadpanned, seeing that Korosensei hadn't waited for him to finish. The faint sound of water striking porcelain was soon heard emanating from the second floor.

Discord walked over to the window and snapped his fingers, enveloping the house island in a translucent purple bubble. He watched it fade from sight moments later before drawing the curtains. That should prevent Princess Luna from ruining the surprise. Discord moved the coffee table aside and opened up the sleeper sofa, laying out some bedding on top of it.

A pajama clad Korosensei reappeared carrying his usual attire on a wooden clothes hanger just as Discord finished his preparations. After placing the hanger on inexplicable indoor tree branch, he grabbed the several books from the pile and sat down on the bed. Discord teleported to the bathroom as Korosensei wrote out plans for the coming days.

Pulling back the curtain, he stared at the tub's contents for a brief moment before calmly walking across the hallway.

Discord conjured a lantern and entered the attic, in search of an artifact he had hoped to never see again. He found the briefcase hidden beneath a pile of old magazines, exactly where it had been left. Discord entered the combination and released the latch, filling the room with a golden light. Shielding his eyes, he plucked a lone object from the briefcase before closing it. "Can't believe I have to use you again." Discord muttered, leveling a venomous glare at the gilded alarm clock he held at arm's length.

The Undying Alarm Clock was a personal gift from Princess Celestia following Discord's initial reformation. Magically synchronized to the sun, it always woke up its owner at precisely the crack of dawn. Celestia claimed it would help Discord adjust to everyday life but that was a smokescreen. After using the alarm clock's first use, Discord knew this without a doubt. It was retribution for one of Discord's past transgressions. Maybe it was the time I told Celestia to cut down on the cake... He rummaged through several more boxes, locating his hammock and nightcap.

Discord teleported back to the living room and placed the alarm clock next to an extensive itinerary on the coffee table. Looking over his shoulder, Discord saw Korosensei standing in front of the bookcase. "Out of curiosity, why is my bathtub is filled with jellied broth?" he asked nonchalantly while securing one end of the hammock to the wall.

Flustered by the remark, Korosensei whipped around to face Discord. "My apologies!" He explained, tentacles flailing about wildly. "It's a byproduct of my mucus interacting with water for an extended period. I'll take care of it right away!" Discord raised his lion paw and stopped Korosensei from disappearing upstairs.

"That won't be necessary. As my guest, I insist that you take it easy." Discord yawned as he jumped on to the hammock. "I'll handle clean up later. Afterall, you'll want to be well-rested for tomorrow." Korosensei hesitated for a moment before relaxing and sliding the last book back in place. Fluffing his special pillow, he climbed into bed and subsequently dozed off.

Discord reached out and yanked the lamp's pullstring, plunging the room into darkness. The house was nearly silent except for the ticking of a clock. Pulling the nightcap over his eyes, Discord drifted off to sleep with a mischievous grin on his face.

Morning Time

Discord awoke to the faint ringing of bells. He growled and twisted away from the offending noise, burying his head in a pillow. Bells. Why am I hearing bells? Discord cracked an eye open as memories bubbled to the surface, catching a golden glimmer in the darkness. The bells grew louder, destroying any chance of returning to sleep. Discord bolted upright in his hammock and dove toward the shape.

Discord felt around the coffee table’s surface until his paw brushed against a metallic object, pitching it at the wall without a second thought. A satisfying crunch echoed throughout the room, earning a smile from Discord as a medley of gears and springs spilled out from the broken alarm clock. The relief was short-lived as a golden aura surrounded the wreckage repaired the clock to a working state, allowing the bells to resume. Discord let out a defeated sigh, calmly retrieving the golden nuisance and disengaging the alarm.

Discord tossed the alarm clock into a waste bin and yanked the lamp’s pullstring. Glancing around the room with bleary eyes, he discovered the folded-away sofa bed and no trace of Korosensei. Where could he have gone?He frantically searched the room until the sound of running water reached his ears. As Korosensei emerged at the top of staircase, Discord flopped onto the sofa in relief. "You work fast."

“I’m accustomed to hectic mornings,” Korosensei replied plainly, straightening his oversized tie and dismounting the stairs.

“Please, treat yourself to some breakfast while I wash up. I’ll be down soon.” Discord pulled off his nightcap and vanished in a burst of light. Korosensei shrugged, flying into the kitchen and rifling through the refrigerator.

“While it pains me to destroy something so wonderfully strange, I prefer having a functioning bathtub,” Discord muttered bitterly, snapping a pair of rubber gloves over his mismatched hands. He tapped the gelatinous bathwater, choking back bile as it wobbled and jiggled. As his stomach settled, Discord glanced at his bucket of cleaning supplies and frowned. “This will require an unconventional approach…”

Discord took a few step back before sending the bathtub through the wall with a swift kick. Poking his head out the jagged hole, he grinned as it drifted away into the miasmic purple sky. The sense of accomplishment dampened by a throbbing pain in his leg.

Discord paused to massage his aching leg before surveying the damage. “Let’s see…I’ve lost a bathtub and gained a hole in the wall. Though, not for much longer.”

With a snap of Discord’s fingers, the room was restored to its previous state. Discord was greeted by his smiling reflection upon peering into the new bathtub. Running his gloved talon along the rim, he was satisfied at the lack of jellified bathwater sticking to it.

“Now that everything`s been cleaned up, time for breakfast,” Discord tore off his gloves and flicked off the lights. Upon descending into the living room, the tantalizing aromas of melting butter and caramelized sugar beckoned Discord to the kitchen where a tower of pancakes sat precariously on the table. It swayed with each of Discord’s steps, excess butter cascading down the sides. His wandering eyes noticed a dusting of flour on the furniture and a batter-coated bowl floating in the sink.

“Ah, you’re back,“ Korosensei peered from behind the wobbling tower of pancakes, spatula and skillet grasped in his tentacles. “Allow me a moment to tidy up before we begin breakfast.”

Korosensei darted to the sink after launching a final pancake from the skillet. It somersaulted through the air, landing atop the pancake tower and compromising its dubious stability. Time slowed to a crawl as the pancakes toppled toward Discord. Sighing in resignation, he braced for impact.

“Would you like anything to drink?” Korosensei asked while setting glasses and silverware on the table. He drizzled maple syrup over the two stacks of pancakes before returning to the open refrigerator.

Discord’s jaw hung slack, stunned by the immaculate state of his kitchen. All traces of Korosensei’s handiwork had vanished along with the decades of accumulated dust. The cabinets were filled with freshly washed bowls and dishes, leaving the sink empty for the first time. Upon regaining a degree of composure, Discord woozily slumped onto the nearest chair. “How did you…nevermind. I’ll have the chocolate milk. There should be some near the back.”

Korosensei zipped back to the table and dropped off the half-empty decanter. He poured its contents into the glasses before seating himself opposite of Discord. Grabbing a fork and knife, Korosensei eagerly sliced into the tall stack. “I hope pancakes are to your liking. They were all I could make with the contents of your pantry.”

“I have no complaints about the food,” Discord swallowed half of his pancakes before levelling a flat stare at Korosensei. “However, you shouldn’t have done so much. This is supposed to be your vacation time.”

“Well, I couldn’t leave the kitchen in such a state,” Korosensei remarked between bites, the stack of pancakes rapidly diminishing in front of him. “It appeared to not have been cleaned in ages.”

“An accurate summation,” Discord pushed his empty plate aside, raising the chocolate milk to his lips and tipping it back. The glass slowly receded to the halfway point while leaving the chocolate milk untouched and unaffected by the lack of a vessel.

Perplexed by the physics-defying display, Korosensei began inspecting his own chocolate milk. He tilted the glass from side to side, noting the liquid’s flow with each shift. Unable to discover any abnormalities, Korosensei shrugged and devoured the whole glass in a few bites.

He’s adjusting well, Discord thought with a bemused smirk.

“Anyway, I’ve wanted to ask you about time before we proceed any further,” Korosensei asked as he wiped his face clean of stray crumbs and glass shards.

“The clock is right there,” Discord deadpanned, gesturing to the spot above the kitchen’s archway.

“Allow me to clarify, I’m referring to the differences in time between our worlds.” Korosensei’s expression hardened as the joviality dissipated from his voice. “The last thing I want is to return home and discover a century has passed by in my absence.”

“Fair point. Temporal dilation is something I have no control over. Let me think…,”Discord tried to respond but continually drew a blank, wracking his mind for an answer which never materialized. Several minutes passed in awkward silence until Discord came to an unexpected realization. “I actually forgot to calculate that…," he replied, stroking his beard in shock. "Well, there's no time like the present!"

Discord drained his remainder of his glass and tossed the chocolate milk over his shoulder. Flying through the open window, it detonated upon collision with one of the nearby islands. Discord ignored the encroaching explosion and ascended the staircase while Korosensei hastily shut the window.

Discord had travelled halfway down the hallway when Korosensei reappeared next to him. After passing by sets of identical doors, Korosensei grew anxious and broke the silence. “Where exactly are we going?”

“My lab has all the equipment needed to solve our temporal conundrum,” Discord replied without breaking stride.

“I don’t recall seeing a lab yesterday…,” Korosensei’s voice trailed off as they reached the end of the hallway. A pair of lanterns hung off the wall and illuminated the area with their purple flames. ”Nor do I recall those being here.”

“All will be revealed shortly.” Discord flashed with a knowing grin, pulling the right lantern toward himself.

Ominous mechanical clicking echoed throughout the hallway after the lantern snapped back into position. As Korosensei was about to question Discord, the floor beneath abruptly rotated from under their feet and flung them into a tram cart. Discord settled comfortably into his seat while Korosensei shook off his mild disorientation.

"Please remain seated and keep all horns, hoofs, paws, and wings in at all times," a robotic voice announced as the safety bar dropped into position. Korosensei had barely registered his new surroundings when the tram tipped over the edge.

Nausea hammered Korosensei as the tram accelerated down the winding track. The contents of his stomach sloshed around with each sharp turn and steep drop. Sinking deep into his seat, Korosensei’s complexion shifted from yellow to a sickly green. The ride came to a merciful yet abrupt end when the tram slammed into a stone barricade, catapulting its passengers into the air.

Korosensei descended with all the grace of wet laundry, landing headlong with a dull thud while Discord gently floated to the ground. He offered his lion paw as Korosensei staggered to his feet.

“It still baffles me how someone like you is able to get motion sick.” Discord conjured a bottle of ginger ale. “This should ease your stomach. Nevertheless, welcome to my secret lab!”

“Thank you. It normally doesn’t effect me this badly,” Korosensei eagerly gulped down the golden elixir. As the fog of nausea lifted, he brushed the dusted from his robe and glanced around the room.

Korosensei discovered the mirror portal resting against the farthest wall, bunches of magenta wires connecting it to the Dimensional Viewer. An antiquated computer and printer sat atop a nearby lab table where gray cables linked them to the other devices. Potted plants and chalkboards lined the right wall with shelves of textbooks on the left. The overhead lights hummed while casting a haze upon the room. As Korosensei walked to the room’s center, a thought crossed his mind. “Hold on, why is this lab a secret if nopony else has visited your home besides myself?”

Discord shrugged, summoning his lab coat and goggles from their wall hooks. “It just feels right, if that makes any sense.”

Discord punched a red button on the wall, causing the lights to flicker momentarily. The computer sputtered to life as dust-laden circuits awoke from their slumber. The Dimensional Viewer was next to power up with a grating hum. A blizzard of static filled the screen which gradually dispersed to reveal the familiar sight of Korosensei’s classroom. The noise died out as the mirror portal stabilized its connection with the other world. Discord walked up to the computer and began entering a string of commands into the keyboard. “Excuse me while I collect the necessary data. It should only be a few minutes.”

Korosensei fixated on the swirling vortex held by the mirror’s frame, his way back home. It would be incredibly easy to sabotage the portal, rush through it, and leave this world of magic behind him. However enticing the idea sounded, he abstained from enacting his escape on account of the potential fallout. Korosensei felt that Discord would not react kindly to a derailment of his plans, despite his irreverent attitude. [Crossing a god of chaos would probably be the last mistake I ever make.

Korosensei instead wandered over to examine Discord’s botanical experiments, noticing the extensive diagrams scribbled all over the black boards. The plants measured a few inches in height with scarlet fruits in various states of maturity. The gnarled orbs dangled below aristate leaf clusters, light shining off their waxy skin with tails curled into sickles. As Korosensei attempted to pluck a ripe specimen, Discord spoke up. “I see that my chiles have caught your eye. Go ahead, give them a try. I’m confident they’re nothing which you can’t handle.”

Korosensei retracted his tentacle, noticing a mischievous glint in Discord`s eyes. “On second thought, I would rather not.”

“No need to be so suspicious,“ Discord flashed an innocent smile, harvesting the ripest peppers and dropping them into a bowl. A notebook floated off the shelf and dropped into Korosensei’s tentacles. “My hybrid peppers are perfectly safe to eat. My personal logs will attest to that fact.”

Korosensei gazed skeptically at the notebook before flipping open the front cover. He scanned through the pages, absorbing information and paling with each progressive entry. The final pages were marred by unintelligible scribbles and what appeared to be tear stains. The notebook slipped out of his tentacles as he faced Discord with a haunted look in his eyes. “What compelled you to create such a thing?”

“I was told to ‘get a hobby’ by my other friends, so I chose botany,” Discord scooped up the notebook and returned it to the shelf. “I’ve always had a green thumb and it provided a way to elevate the artistry of my mischief to the next level. Besides, the experience wasn’t completely terrible. There’s a wonderful fruity flavor once the burning fades. I also learned the importance of dictation quills.”

Discord pointed to a table where a quill floated above a logbook, silently waiting for the conversation to resume. “Quite useful when you forget to write notes.”

A harsh monotone beep directed Discord’s attention back to his antiquated computer whose screen had turned blue. He growled, teleporting to the lab table before furiously pounding the monitor with his lion paw. The image on screen flickered under the repeated strikes, their frequency rising in sync with Discord’s agitation. “Don’t you dare quit on me now!”

The screen reverted to its original state at the moment when Discord’s fist crunched through the exterior, firing off a signal to the printer before shutting down. It spat out a paper which Discord snatched with his free hand and examined the result.

With a snap of his fingers, a green tome leapt from the shelves and floated across the room. The worn cover was adorned with the image of an elderly bearded unicorn in a bent sorcerer’s hat. It gravitated to Discord’s side while he repositioned a chalkboard away from his plants.

Discord leafed through the tome, carefully separating yellow tinged pages which threatened to shred apart under the slightest pressure. Each chapters held irreplaceable research and spells though lost to annals of time. A page entitled Time Between the Worlds held the sought-after formula, a nightmarish amalgam of exponents, fractions, and roots. A chill race up Discord’s spine as long-buried traumas reared their heads. Nevertheless, he had gathered all of the pieces needed to solve the temporal conundrum. "Alright, let's plug the variables and see what we get."

Discord flipped the chalkboard over to its blank side and glanced between the tome and printout. He exhaled sharply and began transcribing the formula. As numerous expressions filled the board, Discord’s piece of chalk disintegrated in his claw while a cloud of dust engulfed the room. Korosensei hacked and coughed, waving his arms to clear the air when the scratching abruptly stopped. “We’re in luck if I got this right.”

Discord emerged from the cloud, stumbling away from the chalkboard and wearily leaning against the wall as dust settled on the ground. “Do you mind checking the calculations? Math was never my strongest subject.”

Korosensei nodded and faced the numerical monstrosity looming over him. The formula beast snarled and bared its fangs, claws twitching in anticipation of ripping into a new victim. Spatters of an unknown fluid littered the ground. They circled each other, never breaking eye contact and waiting for other to strike first. Seizing the initiative, the beast charged at Korosensei who nonchalantly side-stepped the attack. It whipped around and prepared another lunge when everything became numb. A strangled howl was its final action before collapsing into a pile of simplified expressions. The corpse evaporated and left behind a simple ratio which caused Korosensei to tilt his head. “Three to one?”

“So it was right. Time is flowing faster in your world. Three days in Equestria equates to only a single day on Earth. Factoring in time since arrival, you can spend two and a half days touring Equestria before Sunday,” Discord removed his lab coat and hung it off the chalkboards. He collected the bowl of peppers before turning to Korosensei. “How does that sit with you?”

A wave of relief washed over Korosensei and extinguished any lingering reservations against enjoying his unexpected vacation. Beneath his initial apprehension, there was curiosity at what adventures could unfold in this fantastical world. “I no longer have any objections. Where do we go from here?”

Korosensei was answered by Discord snapping his fingers while the accompanying burst of light, blinding him for the second time in twenty-four hours. They warped back to the living room where Discord summoned several items to the coffee table. He tossed a backpack at Korosensei who readily caught it despite a post-teleportation daze. “That will hold any amenities you feel are necessary.”

Korosensei rotated the backpack in his tentacles, a perplexed look on his face. Its size was ideal for use by students but laughably inappropriate for a continent spanning vacation. Upon peering inside, he found a purple void housed within the cloth exterior. “This is enchanted with some kind of spatial magic.”

“You catch on quick. Anyway, here’s a book which allows us to communicate, a map which tracks your position, a charm for cloudwalking and protection, as well as ten pouches containing cash for leisure expenses. There are a thousand bits in each.” Discord introduced the items in rapid succession before dumping them into the backpack. “Any questions?”

Korosensei’s jaw dropped. “W-Where did you acquire that much money?”

“My peppers are used for things other than pranking. They’re the heart of a small hot sauce company I founded in my spare time,” Discord gestured to a photo hanging on the wall. “The land which came with my title has a year-round growing climate for so I built a plantation there .”

“What title are you talking about?” Korosensei asked while examining the photo. It depicted a dirt path leading to a yellow stucco mansion. Clusters of palm trees loomed over the sloped tile roof while a pair of agave grew by front door. The adjacent fields were lined with countless rows of pepper plants.

“Lord of Chaos isn’t mere self-aggrandizement,” Discord chuckled, leaning against the door. “It’s my official title within Equestria’s nobility. As for the money, I have few uses for it given my abilities but you’ll find plenty of buy. There are plenty of sweets in Equestria for you to indulge in.”

Visions of decadent desserts pranced through Korosensei’s mind. He wiped away a strand of drool and zipped around the room, stuffing his notes and special pillow into backpack. A faint violet glow shrouded the door as he giddily approached Discord. “Everything has been packed,” Korosensei glanced through the window at surreal landscape outside the house. “Um, how do I reach Equestria from here?”

Discord twisted the knob, allowing the door to swing open and sunlight to stream through it . Shielding his eyes, Korosensei crossed the gateway and emerged onto a verdant plain. A mountain range peered over the horizon while railroad tracks snaked through distant hills. Korosensei sighed contently, savoring the scent of wildflowers carried by the breeze. “So, this is Equestria. How serene.”

“Middle of nowhere to be precise, the ideal starting point for your vacation,” Discord announced from the doorway. “Pick any direction and you’ll hit a major city. North leads to the Crystal Empire, south to Canterlot, east to Manehatten, west to Vanhoover, so on and so forth. Before you depart, however, I must request that our association remain secret.”

Korosensei turned back to Discord, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Any particular reason as to why?”

“Travelling between dimensions is a privilege exclusive to the Princesses,” Discord groused, his expression turning sour. “My acquisition of the mirror portal was fairly illegal. If they discovered my involvement, there will be…lectures. Hours upon hours of lectures” Discord paled, envisioning the horde of ponies prepared to savage him for the irresponsibility of his actions. Worst of all, he would face Fluttershy’s disappointed glare and scathing words. “You understand, right?”

“Of course, I understand completely,” Korosensei nodded, a sympathetic smile on his face as he remembered similar interactions with Karasuma.

“Excellent!” Discord clapped his hands together. “There’s nothing left to say but have fun.”

“I certainly will.” Korosensei rocketed into the sky, lancing through any cloud in his path. The shockwave from his lift-off sent waves cascading through the field.

Discord shut the door and jumped on to the sofa. Lounging comfortably, he conjured a bucket of popcorn while the enchanted map unfurled and a viewing portal formed above the table. Discord flicked a kernel into his mouth, grin widening as Korosensei’s destination became clear. “Let the games begin.”

Early morning sunlight bounced off the Crystal Empire’s shimmering architecture, painting the countryside with prismatic hues as Korosensei arrived at the ouutskirts. Descending onto a low lying cloud, he retrieved his guidebook from the backpack. Leafing through the pages until reaching the Crystal Empire’s section, he scanned tables detailing the guards’ routines and habits. Let’s see…I have at least an hour before the guards will convene at the stadium. Korosensei grinned widely, stowing the guidebook within his robe. "Plenty of time to indulge in some sightseeing and gastro-tourism…Nurufufufu." He vanished a second later, leaving behind scattered tufts of clouds and his laugh lingering on the wind.

Chocolat Praline slumped over her display case, staring listlessly at the glass door as scores of ponies past by her shop. This scene had become depressingly routine for Praline during her time living in the Crystal Empire, broken up by the scant customer that kept the store afloat. She slid on to the floor as her stomach growled and trotted to the pantry. Grasping a spare croissant with her telekinesis, Praline glanced at the family photo hanging on the wall. Maybe I should have listened to Mom and attended lawyer school. Praline shook her head, dispelling the though before biting into the croissant. She paused as a musty taste coated her mouth, only to quickly devour the remaining pastry in disgust.

Praline was caught off-guard by the front door swinging open, nearly choking on the last piece of her croissant. She clambered to the register, forcing a smile and breathlessly greeting the new customer. “Welcome to the Crystal Patisserie, Mr.-” Praline’s brain short-circuited as her eyes failed to comprehend the yellow creature gliding toward the display cases, tentacles squelching against the floor “Octopus…” She slumped atop the counter with a sullen expression on her face. I’ve finally gone insane and there’s nopony to blame but myself. This is what I get for starting everyday with an absinthe cocktail. Should have kicked the habit back in Prance.

“Excuse me, I’m ready to make a purchase,” Korosensei declared. When no response came, he turned to the morose unicorn. “Is everything alright, Miss?”

Praline stared at Korosensei with a glazed look in her eyes, contemplating whether to answer or continue wallowing in her misery. Might as well indulge in my newfound insanity. Letting out a heavy sigh, she trudged to the register. “It’s nothing. What would you like?”

“Everything,” Korosensei said dreamily, gesturing at the display cases with his tentacle. “How much would it cost?”

“Finally, somebody who appreciates my creations. These ponies wouldn’t recognize quality desserts unless it was shoved down their throats,” Praline laughed bitterly. “Anyway, your total comes to 750 bits. Cash, check, or credit?”

Korosensei rummaged around his backpack before retrieving the item he sought. A single brown pouch landed on the counter, bits spilling from its brim and tumbling to the floor. “Please, keep the change. I handle the packing.” In the moment when Praline blinked, Korosensei vanished and reappeared with a stack of cardboard containers. He carefully plucked and packaged the desserts as additional tentacles emerging from his baggy sleeves expedited the process, emptying the display cases with seconds.

While Korosensei crammed the boxes of dessert into his backpack, Praline’s attention was elsewhere. She raised one of the coins to eye level, scrutinizing it for imperfections.I never knew hallucinations could be so vivid. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this was real. She bit into the coin, immediately wincing as teeth met with the gold alloy. The pain wasn’t able to subside before Praline’s mind brought the situation into sobering clarity. Wait a minute. If these bits are real, that means…

Korosensei glided to the front door, backpack slung over his shoulder. Praline’s voice rang out as his tentacle gripped the handle. “Hold-on! I didn’t catch your name!”

“You can call me Korosensei,” Korosensei replied, glancing over his shoulder before exiting the door. He was gone moments later, leaving a dust cloud and dumbfounded pedestrians in his wake.

“Korosensei, huh. Weird name. I could use more customers like him, though,” Praline remarked, smirking at her sudden windfall. Igniting her horn, she trotted toward the kitchen with the sack of bits levitating behind her.

Aside from hosting the Equestria Games and the seasonal hoofball playoffs, the Crystal Stadium was deserted for most of the year. The unused venue had been requisitioned as a training ground while the barracks were under repair. The arena proved a suitable replacement, comfortably allowing the displaced guards the freedom to stage mock battles. They clashed spears a while others honed their aim at targets on the stadium’s opposite side. Flash Sentry marched along field’s boundary, directing his subordinates’ action and correcting missteps whenever noticed.

Leaning against the exit of the player tunnel, Shining Armor observed his troops practice. In spite of the outward polish, some movements betrayed their weariness. He stared dejectedly at the ground while memories of the past year replayed in his mind. The dual failures against Chrysalis and Tirek weighed on his confidence like rusty anchors. The frequency of the drills had sapped much of the guards’ morale without much payoff. Rallying their spirits had transformed into a chore over the past two weeks.

Recalling Cadance’s words from yesterday, Shining Armor strode into the light with head raised high. “Attention!”

A stray helmet left on the ground foiled the guards’ attempt of swiftly entering formation. A single stallion tripped over it and collided with another guard. The process repeated itself to where the guards had cascaded into a massive pile. As they untangled limbs and armor pieces from each other and scrambled into columns, Flash Sentry shook his in disbelief. This is ridiculous. They’re in no state to train, let alone defend Equestria. Luckily, nothing exciting happens in the Crystal Empire.

“At ease, I have an announcement to make,” Shining Armor said as he stopped in front of the amassed guards. “We have been conducting a lot of practice drills lately. Some have say it has become a tad excessive-“ the guards collectively inhaled sharply “-and they are absolutely right.” Shining Armor lowered his gaze to the ground. “I’ve been grappling my insecurities through the increased drills which hasn’t worked out. It was wrong to overwork all of you because of personal hang-ups. As an apology, I’m suspending drill practice until further notice.”

Shining Armor was surprised at the announcement’s silent reception, excepting his men to break into cheers. Contrary to his expectations, they let out a brief gasp before breaking eye contact. Their nervous fidgeting and lip chewing only compounded Shining Armor’s confusion and frustration.

Flash Sentry cleared his throat. “Sir, it’s um…your helmet.”

Shining Armor furrowed his brow. “What does that have to do with anything?” At that moment, he notice the lack of weight on his neck. Shining Armor reached atop his head and pulled off a colorful jester hat, bells attached at the ends jingling under a slight breeze. He leveled at chilling glare at the guards. “Who is responsible for this?!”

“Nurufufufu…That would be me,” a voice called out. “While bottling up your emotions is dangerous, you shouldn’t allow them to cloud your judgement. A captain should lead with his head, not his heart. If you insist on making foolish decisions, maybe that hat is a more appropriate look for you!”

Shining Armor whipped around to the VIP Box where a yellow octopus lounged in Princess Luna’s throne. What in Equestria is that? He blinked several times and shook his head, scarcely believing his eyes before analyzing the situation. You know what? It doesn’t matter. He’s already broken the law so it’s within my authority to arrest him. Shining Armor steeled his resolve and stepped towards the intruder. “You’re currently within a restricted area. Identify yourself!” Emboldened by their captain’s courage, the guards matched his movement with spears raised.

“I’m merely a teacher who is enjoying a small vacation,” Korosensei replied between bites of an éclair. “I was under the impression that sports venues were open to the public.”

“You aren’t fooling anypony with that innocent act!” Shining Armor barked, igniting his horn. “You’re under arrest for interfering with royal guard activities and trespassing. Surrender peacefully, you have no way to escape.” The guards rapidly surrounded Korosensei from all angles, poised to strike the instant he moved a millimeter.

“I’m afraid that won’t be possible. My vacation days are limited so I can’t afford to waste them sitting in jail.” Korosensei vanished from the throne as numerous spears stabbed the air he previously occupied, reappearing next to Shining Armor. “Besides, you’re vastly overestimating your abilities.”

Shining Armor spun around and met Korosensei’s gaze, fuming at the insult to his already wounded pride. “This is the last time I’ll repeat myself. Surrender now or face the full might of the royal guard.”

Undaunted by the threat, Korosensei parted Shining Armor’s mane before returning the jester hat to his head. He smiled mockingly, green rings forming on his face. “I’ll take my chances.”

Shining Armor swatted the tentacle away and jumped away. “You were warned…”

The guards lobbed their spears into the air, blotting out the sun before arching toward Korosensei. Shining Armor watched silently as Korosensei remained motionless in the face of impending impalement, regret and doubt tugging on his heart. He brought this upon himself.

An assortment of flowers rained down upon Korosensei to the guards’ utter shock. He plucked a tulip from mid-air, savoring the aroma before tossing it aside. “I’ve heard that ponies were known for warm welcomes but this exceeded my expectations.”

Shining Armor’s jaw dropped. “What happened to the spears?!”

“I would recommend polishing your skills before handling such dangerous weapons.” The guards looked at their hooves and discovered their spears had returned, converted into makeshift mops. Korosensei held up the missing tips in his tentacle. “Somepony might end up getting hurt.”

The guards gaped in fascinated horror as Korosensei devoured the iron spearheads without flinching. “What sort of monster are we facing?”

“Don’t lose heart!” Flash Sentry shouted. “We still outnumber him, fifty-to-one! He can’t take us all at once!”

“I didn’t expect all of you to be gluttons for disappointment,“ Korosensei chuckled, drawing venomous glares from the guards. “However, I do admire the persistence. Give it your best shot but I wouldn’t hope to accomplish much.”

A dust cloud erupted as several guards lunged at Korosensei, only to collide with each other. Rising after the impact, they were greeted by numerous Korosensei clones flickering throughout the stadium’s field and bleachers. The guards broke into pairs and charged, determined to claim victory against the intruder. The Korosensei clones casually evaded their attacks while never allowing their mocking smiles to falter.

As the guards exhausted their tactics against Korosensei’s ghostly doppelgangers, Shining Armor reminisced about his career. It had been uneventful since Twilight and her friends dealt with most threats before they escalated. While the guards had failed against Tirek and the changelings, that only spurred Shining Armor to improve himself. Korosensei didn’t elicit the same type of response. The sheer lack of respect he demonstrated for the guards only fostered a burning resentment within Shining Armor. “I can’t imagine this situation becoming any more humiliating,” he said with eyes twitching violently.

“I would be so sure about that,” Flash added dourly. “He multitasking, so we aren’t even occupying his full attention.” He pointed to a Korosensei who casually shined a guard’s helmet in the midst of dodging his attacks. “On the bright side, your eyebrows have never looked better. ”

As the sound of snipping scissors intensified in his ears, Shining Armor reached his emotional limit. Years of mental training crumbled under a torrent of anger. "That's it! I will not be made a fool of!" Shining Armor's mane burst into azure flames, reducing the jester hat to cinders. He crushed a bell underneath his hoof as it rolled away from the hat’s smoldering remains.

Korosensei dumping a bucket of ice water on Shining Armor’s head did little to quell his hatred. To the contrary, it stoked the flames of rage growing with Shining Armor’s heart. They blossomed into a white-hot inferno as Korosensei drew off the moisture with a localized cyclone. “You shouldn’t be so quick to anger, Captain. What kind of example are you setting for your subordinates?” Korosensei chided, dressing Shining Armor in a new jester hat and outfit before protests could be raised. “Anyway, I saw that you were not fond of the bells so this hat should be more to your liking.” He tilted his head. “I didn’t realize the sleeves were so long. Let me fix that before you get hurt.”

"That tears it!” Korosensei jumped back as the enraged unicorn fired a bolt of ethereal energy directly upwards. Upon reaching its apex above the castle, the rose colored aura blanketed the sky and formed a translucent dome around the city. Crystal ponies in the middle of their commutes broke stride to marvel at the titanic display of magic.

Shining Armor grinned triumphantly as excess magic rippled across the barrier's surface. "That shield isn’t going anywhere unless I will it," he declared, slowly turning to face Korosensei. “You have nowhere left to run!”

Shining Armor gaped disbelievingly at Korosensei who seemed completely unfazed his current predicament. There wasn’t a trace of frustration, worry, or fear on his face, only the same mocking grin. Shining Armor stared blankly at him before letting out a chuckle. It swiftly escalated into a maelstrom of laughter which unnerved the guards. “I get it. The hopelessness of the situation has left you speechless but don’t worry,” Shining Armor said breathlessly as his horn ignited. “You’ll have plenty of time to talk in the dungeon!” A magical tendril shot out to snare the motionless Korosensei only to grasp slice through him.

Korosensei’s ghostly doppelganger maintained it smile as the body flickered, taunting the guards a final time before fading away. Shining Armor went limp and collapsed like a puppet with cut strings. After several minutes of silence, he began to snicker.

A heaviness crashed down on everypony within the stadium, guards exchanged worried looks, unsure of how to approach their distressed captain. Anypony who attempted to move felt their hooves turn to lead. Mustering up the necessary courage, Flash took a few tentative steps forward. "Um...Sir, are you feeling alright?"

Shining Armor bolted upright, whirling to meet his subordinate’s gaze. The guards recoiled in terror at the full extent of their captain`s descent into madness. His bloodshot eyes had worsened dramatically, painting the sclera a vivid crimson. A manic, toothy grin dominated the rest of face, spreading from ear to ear. In combination with his attire, he resembled a mental asylum escapee more closely than a member of the Equestrian royalty. Craning his neck to an unnatural degree, Shining Armor addressed his men. "Oh, fine. Just fine."

With one exception, everypony had leapt several feet away from Shining Armor. It wasn’t a conscious action on their part. Instinct had seized control of their bodies, self preservation overriding any sense of loyalty to their captain. Flash Sentry was alone in the expanse between Shining Armor and the other guards. He remained rooted in place, fighting his body’s pleas to flee. "You look a bit stressed out. Let's call it a day and get some lunch. How about some corndogs?" he offered, a tinge of desperation in his voice.

Shining Armor rose to his hooves and approached his lieutenant. Distance between the two quickly vanished as “Sounds like a plan! We just have to accomplish one thing first.”

“What would that be, sir?” Flash inquired, immediately regretting his decision.

“We’re going to find that octopus and toss him in the dungeon!” Shining Armor boomed in an oddly cheery tone, rising to his full height. “I’ll search the southern quarter while you guys handle the rest. Report back here in half an hour.”

Flash’s protests died in his throat upon witnessing Shining Armor’s next actions. In a series of cartwheels and backflips, he crossed the field and bounded through the bleachers. The guards watched with immense confusion as their captain gave a brief salute before diving off the stadium edge.

“Did anypony else know the captain could be so acrobatic?” a random guards remarked, breaking the silence.

Flash shook his head vigorously, shocked out of his stupor by sheer bluntness of his subordinate’s remark. “That’s what you have to say about all of this?!”

“What? I’m just saying that he could have won us the gold medal at Equestria Games with a performance like that,” he replied, raising his hooves defensively.

“Nevermind,” Flash grumbled, his voice dripping with barely disguised contempt. “Let’s get a move on! We have to find him before it’s too late!”

“Is there any point in trying? We couldn’t even lay on a hoof on the octopus,” another guard mumbled dejectedly.

“Forget about the octopus! It’s the captain that we have to worry about!” Flash shrieked. “Take a moment to consider what the captain is capable of doing in his current mental state!”

Blood drained from the guards’ faces as the dawning horror crashed down upon them like a ton of bricks. They snapped to attention and turned to face Flash who was already halfway to the southern exit. “I’ll try to head him off before he causes some major damage. Check the rest of the city in case he changed course. We have no idea how fast the captain is moving!”

Contrary to expectations, a magical dome enclosing the city did little to dampen the mood of its inhabitants. The crystal ponies were oddly unperturbed by the numerous strange occurences that befall Equestria on a monthly basis, likely a byproduct of living under King Sombra’s iron hoof. A millennium of stolen time had steeled their resolve to enjoy each day to the fullest.

This attitude was evident at a popular café located under the castle’s shadow. The air teemed with conversation as workers flooded the vacant tables and flipped through the menus. Waiters weaved between the tables, frantically jotting down orders before returning to the kitchen.

As his friend chattered about his vacation, a stallion found his gaze repeatedly wandering to the barrier enclosing the city. It wasn’t an uncommon sight but he couldn’t shake a feeling of unease. Bolts of excess magic crackled along it surface with unsettling frequency. “Don’t you think something’s off about the timing of the barrier coming up? We’re usually warned ahead of time or there’s an announcement afterwards…”

“You worry too much,” his friend replied with a dismissive wave. “If there was real danger, Prince Shining Armor would let us know. We can rely on him to keep the empire safe.” A waiter dropped their plates and check on the table without breaking stride. “Anyway, let’s dig in! We’ve only got a half-hour for our break.”

As the co-workers reached for their meals, a white unicorn leapt onto the table and crushed the food underneath his hooves. Anger at the loss of their meal was died quietly upon glancing over the intruder. He wore a yellow vest over a striped purple shirt with overly long sleeves. A green jester’s hat rested atop his head with a disheveled blue man poking out from the edges. He stared at the cowering ponies with blood-tinged eyes and a toothy grin, swaying from side to side.

“Sorry about crashing your lunch, gentlecolts,” Shining Armor leaned closer until the co-workers could feel his hot breath against their fur. “Tell me, you haven’t seen a giant flying yellow octopus pass by here, have you?”

Failing to muster any shred of courage or rationality, the co-workers defaulted to the fight or flight response. They chose the latter without hesitation, shrieking like school fillies on Nightmare Night while galloping away. The other patrons followed their example and scattered, knocking over tables and Shining Armor in a panic. He staggered to his hooves, finding the café deserted with plates of food strewn on the ground. Staff huddled behind the counter hoping to remain unnoticed. “I’ll take that as a no,” Shining Armor said quietly, breaking into manic laughter a moment later.

Shining Armor bounded to a nearby street with unbridled vigor. The crystal ponies retreated into their homes and barred doors as he bounced off the walls, yelling taunts at an unseen adversary. Tripping over sleeves while rounding the corner, Shining Armor slid across the crystalline road and collided with a street lamp.

Shining Armor groaned, massaging his aching head as a glimmer of clarity returned to his mind. Rationality seized the opportunity and wrestled back control, scanning the area for an identifiable landmark. None of the building were recognizable though a familiar sweetness hung in the air. The aroma of baking pastry stirred memories of wedding knight. Unfortunately, it also rekindled thoughts of the octopus who effortlessly humiliated him and the guards, allowing his madness to punch out rationality once again. He followed the aroma to a small shop with Crystal Patisserie emblazoned on its red canopy. “Now I have you!”

Chocolat Praline worked diligently to refill her shop’s stock unaware of the pandemonium occurring outside. A content smile graced her face in spite of the heavy workload. Life in the Crystal Empire was undoubtedly peaceful but itself was the problem. Days would often pass by with only a few customers and paltry sales. However, it was Korosensei and customers like him that reminded her why she became a patissier in the first place. Nothing brought her more joy than seeing someone enjoying her creations.

As Praline slid a fresh batch of choux dough into the oven, the doorbell signaled the arrival of a potential customer. She wiped off the stray flour sticking to her face, straightened her chef hat, and exited the kitchen. "Welcome to the Crystal Patisserie, home of the best pastries in the Empire," Praline beamed, trotting up to the front counter. “How may I serve you…Prince Shining Armor?!”

The prince had clearly seen better days, resembling an asylum escapee better than one of Equestria's greatest heroes. Accidently stepping on and tearing off his sleeves, he tumbled through the doorway. “Sorry to interrupt!” He flashed a toothy grin while splayed on the floor. “Have you by any chance seen a talking, yellow octopus around here?”

“You mean Korosensei?” Praline asked, blinking rapidly in surprise. “He stopped by earlier today and bought out my entire stock. Best customer I’ve had in ages.”

“So he was here!” Shining Armor lunged forward, leaning over the counter until his he was millimeters away from Praline’s face. “Tell me! Where did he go? What are his plans? Are you hiding him?”

Praline’s smile slipped off her face at the sudden invasion of personal space. She extended a hoof and shoved the deranged prince off the counter. “How would I know any of that? He was just a customer. Our contact ended the second he flew out my door.”

Shining Armor sprung to his hooves, undaunted by Praline’s declaration of innocence. He scanned the room, eyes darting from object to object before fixating on the door leading to the kitchen. Praline’s word echoed throughout his clouded mind, gradually distorting into a denial of guilt. “You’re hiding him in the back, aren’t you? Step aside and let me investigate!”

“Alright, that enough!” Praline brandished a nearby rolling pin with her magic. “Royalty or not, I’m done indulging your insanity. I have a business to run so either place an order or leave my shop!”

“I see that force will be necessary,” Shining Armor snarled from a low crouch. He leapt toward the counter with eyes twitching . Pale blue magic halted Shining Armor in mid-air, leading to a display of impotent limb flailing before he was tossed into a corner. “Who dares…” The red mist clouding his thoughts cleared away upon seeing the pony in the doorway, replaced by a creeping dread.

“Shiny, dear, care to explain just what in Equestria is going on?” Princess Cadance asked calmly as the door shut behind her. Narrow eyes cast judgement on Shining Armor who shrunk back.

“Well, there’s this giant octopus who appeared from nowhere in the stadium,” Shining Armor stammered out.

“An octopus,” Cadance stated flatly. “Those eight-armed animals who can only survive in water. Specifically, salt water of which the closest source is the Celestial Sea over five-hundred miles away. That kind of octopus?”

“Yes, but this octopus was different! He was dressed in graduation regalia and could talk and fly and multiply himself and…and..and you don’t believe a word of what I’ve just said, do you?” Shining Armor deflated, hanging his head in defeat.

“No, I believe you. Equestria is a weird place and I’ve learned not to rule out anything,” Cadance replied, her expression softening for a moment. “However, I do take issue with your methods. Capturing this supposed octopus is one thing. Disturbing the peace and threatening an innocent baker is something else entirely!"

"I'm a patissier!" Praline interjected. "I didn't spend six years studying the pastry arts in Prance to be called a baker! Thank you very much!"

Diverting attention from her husband, Cadance glared at the unicorn resting behind the counter. Praline reciprocated the gesture with equal intensity, hard determination etched into her face. Minutes passed by as neither pony backed downed, locked in a stalemate of wills. Shining Armor remained in the corner, not daring to move a muscle lest he draw the ire of two angry mares.

The patisserie’s front door burst open, revealing a flustered Flash Sentry. He bolted toward the center of the room with wings twitching at his sides. “Excuse me, has anypony seen Captain Shining Armor?!”

“Flash, perfect timing!” Cadance broke her stalemate with Praline. “Please escort Shining Armor back to the castle while I smooth things over with the owner.”

“That’s not going to be easy,” Flash Sentry gestured to the glass window where a congregation of anxious ponies stood several feet away. ”They waiting for you to drag the ‘clown maniac’ to the dungeon. Fortunately, they haven’t recognized his identity…yet.”

Cadance fell to her haunches and massaged her temples. “Ok, any suggestions on how to resolve this situation without creating a PR nightmare?” She felt whispers of an oncoming migraine as Shining Armor and Flash Sentry replied with shrugs.

“If it gets you out of my shop faster, there’s a backdoor where I receive my deliveries. It leads to the alleyways where nopony should see you,” Praline chimed in.

“Excellent!” Cadance sprang to her hooves. “Shiny! Flash! Get back to the castle and clean yourselves up. Until I fully understand what happened at the stadium, both of you are suspended from guard duty. Am I clear?”

“Crystal!” The stallions replied in unison before scurrying through the doorway like scolded fillies.

Cadance turned back to Praline. “I’m deeply sorry for the trouble my husband has caused. Can I repay you in any way?”

“Just make sure no bad press comes to my shop. I can’t have business get worse,” Praline swapped her rolling pin for a rag. She polished the countertop until a hazy reflection of the room was visible.

Cadance wrinkled her nose as an acrid smell wafted into the storefront. “Is something burning?”

Praline’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. “My choux dough!” She dropped her rag and rushed back to the kitchen without another word.

Upon exiting the Crystal Patisserie, Cadance was inundated by shouts and questions from the crowd. She plastered on a bright smile and addressed their concerns. “Settle down, everypony! You’ll be happy to hear the clown has been captured with the shop owner unharmed. There’s nothing else to see here, so please move along.”

The crowd’s skepticism was palpable with Cadance’s smile growing strained under their collective gaze. It was a tense few minutes as murmurs of doubt broke out among ponies before they finally dispersed. As the last pony disappeared around the street corner, Cadance let out an exasperated sigh before heading back to the castle. “I understand why Auntie Celestia drinks heavily on some days,” she glanced at her belly. “I can’t afford that luxury now.”

Resting atop a cloud several hundred meters outside the city limits, Korosensei brushed the dirt off his coat as Shining Armor's dome dissipated into thin air. "I was lucky the barrier didn’t extend underground.” Korosensei rummaged through his backpack and retrieved the map. “I may have been overdone it a bit," he mused while plotting his travel route. “These ponies are more sensitive than I expected. I’ll have to be careful not to overwhelm them next time.” With destination in mind, Korosensei launched into the air and rocketed away from the Crystal Empire, scattering clouds in his wake.

Thousands of years before the first brick of Canterlot was laid down, Celestia and Luna stood at the crossroads of destiny. They had wondered through the future wilds of Equestria for years before stumbling upon the three tribes. The tribal leadership recognized sisters’ potential and formed a council of their brightest scholars to aid the newly crowned princesses in building their country.

Due to the Princesses’ lack of experience, the council acted as Equestria’s de facto leadership during its formative years. They hammered out trade agreements with neighboring kingdoms while the alicorn sisters thwarted Tirek and other rogues from wiping the fledgling nation off the map. Members wielded both prestige and power in equal measure, occupying the highest social strata with authority only the Princesses could question. Lineages of nobility were born as the elderly members passed their seats to their offspring. Generations of council members would reap the benefits of their position until a single event caused a massive shift in the political landscape.

The banishment of Princess Luna altered the development of Equestria in multiple ways. The most immediate consequence was the need for a new capital brought about by the Castle of Two Sisters’ partial destruction. The construction of Canterlot was a labor of love for Princess Celestia, a project which distracted from the feelings of guilt, betrayal, and isolation which plagued her mind. Planning out each city block allowed Celestia to steel herself for the burden of ruling a diarchy alone.

Abrupt departures from several council families during transitional period threw the government into disarray. Pegasi and Earth pony representatives decided to abdicate their positions and focus on leading the fledgling communities of Cloudsdale and Fillydelphia. Unicorns of lesser nobility capitalized on the power, motivated by a desire for greater political influence. These dreams crumbled to dust upon their first meeting in the new capital.

Princess Celestia ushered in her solo rule by dispatching an envoy to the Dragon Lord without waiting for the council’s approval. The move demonstrated a boldness which nopony had ever witnessed from Princess Celestia provided her reliance on her advisors’ guidance. A heavy atmosphere loomed over Canterlot as the citizens anxiously awaited news of the meetings outcome. Grumblings of discontent spread as nobles questioned Celestia’s ability to rule. The envoy’s safe return and subsequent negotiations solidified public trust in the Princess’s judgement while ensuring the council’s decline from power.

Princess Celestia was soon left without an outlet to manage her stress. Working alongside the architects and contractors provided her with a blissful distraction from life in an empty castle. Upon the city’s completion, there was no escape from the mountain of paper work awaiting in her chambers. Relief came from an unexpected source when she visited the bakery of a nearby village.

As far back as she could remember, Princess Celestia had an appreciation for all thing sweet. Pies, tarts, cookies, puddings and meringues were all favorites to her heart but cake was dearest to her heart. This love allowed her to cope with the combined stresses of bureaucracy and isolation though it couldn’t never fully satisfy her. While awaiting the village delegation`s arrival, the bakery staff regaled Princess Celestia with stories of their creative process. It illuminated a side of the pastry arts which had never crossed her mind, planting an idea which Celestia acted upon returning to the castle.

Despite their proximity to Equestria’s monarch, most ponies who dwelled within the castle barely interacted with Princess Celestia. Exceptions being the guards and lone scribe who flanked her at all times. Other staff members diligently performed their assigned tasks, never deviating from their assigned work areas with only the occasional glimpse of her flowing ethereal tail while she travelled between the throne room and her private chambers. Located away from trafficked corridors and meeting halls, the kitchen existed as an island within the castle. Communications from Princess Celestia were handled exclusively by the sudden materialization of paper scrolls, though the impersonal nature of the requests didn’t bother the chefs. They were content in serving their food to royalty.

Imagine the chefs’ surprise when Princess Celestia strolled into the kitchen while they prepared for the next day’s breakfast service. Shock was replaced by curiosity when they noticed she was not wearing her regalia, an undersized chef’s hat taking the place of her crown. She tied an undersized apron around her neck and trotted around the kitchen, gathering bowls and measuring cups with her telekinesis. The next hour was an exercise in restraint for the staff as Celestia perpetrated every amateur mistake in the book. In spite of her unmitigated disaster of a cake, she left the kitchen in high spirits.

It marked the beginning of a routine when Celestia returned As she repeated the mistakes from last time, the staff intervened and aided her in baking something that could be classified as edible. A rapport developed as Celestia’s ability grew with subsequent visits. The barrier dividing princess and employees eroded further over the months, forging bonds which have endured for generations.

However, members of the council were not content in becoming vestiges of a bygone era in Equestrian history. They were prepared to capitalize on Princess Celestia’s love of the confectionary arts to maintain a hold on power…

Upon crossing the debate hall’s vestibule, Princess Celestia entered a realm where the Canterlot nobility held equal footing with her. It was an odd sensation which had grown tedious over decades of meeting with the entitled brats. The noble families of Canterlot were descendants from members of the royal council during the post-banishment years. Unlike their ancestors, however, these nobles only provided assistance when it enriched their lives. They lounged among vacant plush seats, basking in their own radiance when Celestia’s appearance brought a smirk to their faces.

“Princess Celestia, late as usual to this very sacred of meetings!” shouted one of the nobles, a orange unicorn bearing a stiff yellow mane. Clad in a navy business suit and tie, he sat near the window with a scowl plastered on his face.

“Nice to see you could attend, Golden Showers,” Celestia said with her usual politeness. She felt a trickle of satisfaction as the stallion fumed, flailing his limbs in vague gestures.

“It’s Golden Towers! Those rumor are fake! I’ve never even been to Stalliongrad”-the unicorn ranted before smiling indulgently -“but if I did, it would tremendous! Those ponies love me and we would make great deals, the best deals!”

"The best deals," Celestia deadpanned, raising an eyebrow. "Remind me again, how are your casinos doing?" She stifled a chuckle as Golden Towers' bluster crumbled and his stare turned venomous. While deflating his ego had little benefit, Celestia didn't care. It was the only thing which made these meetings less agonizing.

Celestia was renowned for her patience and willingness to listen, skills cultivated over decades of negotiations. With a few exceptions, those granted who Celestia granted an audience to were treated with unfailing politeness and respect. The Canterlot nobles’ insatiable greed had cemented their spot among that group. However, Celestia hated how the nobles had orchestrated the debates above all else.

A stone pedestal near Celestia's throne housed the reason why she returned to the debate hall every month. A plate of miniature cakes rested beneath its glass dome. Oval in shape with waxy pink skin, they were visually unimpressive compared to the standards of Equestrian desserts but appearance didn't matter to Celestia. The cakes' unique texture and flavor were enough to capture her adoration which the nobles exploited to their advantage.

A cloud of dispassionate loathing hung over Celestia’s head as she trudged to her seat, dragging her hooves the entire way. She paused at the pedestal bearing the objections of her love and hate. Thousands of hours. Hundreds of experiments. An entire network of spies. So many resources devoted to uncovering the secret behind these wonderful treats yet I have nothing! How is that even possible?! Where in Equestria did the nobles find this recipe and how in Tartarus are they hiding it?! She placed a hoof on the glass, cursing her inability to refuse the miniature desserts.

“Remember our arrangement, Princess,” called out one of the nobles, a stallion bearing a meticulously groomed mustache. “Listen to our recommendations, then you can eat the cakes.”

“And what’s stopping me from sending all of you to the Moon?” Celestia asked plainly, straightening her posture.

A chorus of laughter erupted within the debate hall and reverberated off its domed ceiling. The sheer smugness carried in their voices unnerved the guards positioned near the entrance. As the laughter faded and tears were wiped away, one of the mares flashed a wolfish grin obscured partially by her ornate fan. “Please, we know you won’t do it. Your conscience wouldn’t allow it. Besides, we’re the only ponies with knowledge of the cake recipe. Banishing us means losing it forever. You certainly don’t want that to happen.”

"That's right! Spineless Celestia would never do anything to risk losing her precious cake!" Golden Towers sneered, earning cheers from the other nobles.

Celestia grit her teeth, choking back a torrent of bile and expletives. Centuries of acquiescing to their self-serving demands had nursed a burning resentment for the nobles. She wished for nothing more than a chance to punch the smug looks from their faces, the desire for immediate gratification outweighing the consequences. Expelling the anger with a sharp exhale, she marched to her throne.

“Very well,” Celestia sighed, sinking lower with head resting in hoof. “Let’s get this over with.” She nodded at the guards who left room while the nobles mugged triumphantly and prepared their folders.

As the perimeter was being secured, Celestia gazed out the window, hoping for a crisis to befall the city and demand her intervention. She wasn’t proud of the thoughts but the monthly desserts ransoms had frayed her nerves. I’d take another changeling invasion at this point. Those hopes were dashed by a single glace at the picturesque cityscape where citizens strolled the cobbled streets without care.

The sky presented an equally serene image with pegasi and songbirds soaring between the clouds. Blinking once, she was greeted by a different scene as a strong gust rattled the windows. Several clouds had scattered with pegasi exchanging baffled looks. Celestia craned her neck for a better angle of the strange occurrence and possible escape route. That ember of hope was snuffed out by the rapping of a folder against wood.

Celestia jerked her head back, catching an impatient glare from the mare waiting in front of the podium. “Whatever happened outside, it can wait. There are some decrees which we believe require review.” Murmurs from the other nobles echoed her sentiment.

Celestia groaned internally, wings twitching in agitation. It’s days like today that drive me to drink.

Shipping Time

“We’re finally done,” Twilight Sparkle said breathlessly, marveling at the fruits of her labor. She swept her gaze across the shelves with an euphoric smile. “Isn’t it beautiful, Spike?”

“Yeah, beautiful,” Spike replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice. After six hours of intense book organizing, he had lost the ability to filter his emotions. Slumped over one of the library’s tables, every muscle in his body burned from exhaustion . Rolling his head to the side, he saw Twilight wander around the library with foalish glee.

Despite his bitterness at wasting a beautiful day inside the castle, a small chuckle betrayed Spike’s demeanor. I haven’t never seen Twilight this happy in months. Maybe she’s finally getting used to the castle. A warmth blossomed in his chest. I guess spending the afternoon in the library was worth it after all. Spike dragged his aching body off the table and trudged into the hallway. “I’m going to open a window to let in some fresh air.”

“Good thinking, Spike. The library has become a bit…stuffy,” Twilight remarked, trotting over to the table holding the two copies of Daring Do’s latest adventure.

Spike swung open the castle’s window and gazed the setting sun, letting out a melancholic sigh. Purple-tinged clouds hung over the horizon as the veil of night washed over the distant hills. A faint chorus of birds and crickets permeated the air while the winds carried their tune through the trees. Well, there goes the day. Without any warning, a strong gust blew through the window and knocked Spike off his balance. “Whoa!” Flailing his arms, Spike failed to regain his footing and tumbled on to the floor. A dull ache gripped his head. “Ow.”

“Spike? Are you all right?” Twilight emerged from the library. Her eyes shone with worry.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Spike groaned, staggering to his feet and dusting himself off. “I didn’t think the wind would be so strong. I thought the weather ponies said today would be calm.”

“It must have blown in from the Everfree,” Twilight said, igniting her horn. A small pouch floated out of the library and dropped into Spike’s claws. “Anyway, this is for you.”

Spike loosened the drawstring and felt his jaw go slack as golden light bathed his face. He glanced up at Twilight, eyes wide with disbelief. “Is this really for me?”

“Yes, really,” Twilight smiled and affectionately patted Spike on the head. “I felt my number one assistant deserved a reward for all of his hard work. Why don’t you treat yourself at Sugarcube Corner? I heard that Mr. and Mrs. Cake are having a special on gem-encrusted cupcakes. It’ll still be open for a few more hours.”

Visions of the delectable treats pranced through Spike’s mind as exhaustion evaporated off his body. “Thanks, Twilight!” He threw his arms around Twilight’s neck and pulled her into a hug before sprinting to the stairwell.

“Wait for me!” Twilight giggled, trotting to catching up. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

Arriving in the foyer, a violet glow shrouded the castle’s massive doors and pulled them inward. Rays of sunlight flooded into the room, painting a vivid crimson on to the crystalline walls. The aroma of wildflowers wafted into the castle and dispelled the stagnant air. Spike wasted no time in racing out of the gate.

“Don’t stay out too long! I want you back here before the moonrise!” Twilight called out as she stood at the threshold.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon,” Spike replied. Only several feet away, a into his mind. Spike slowly came to a halt and turned back to Twilight with an uncertain expression. “Are you going okay? I mean, you’re going to be left all alone in the castle.”

“No need to worry, Spike,” Twilight reassured. “Rainbow Dash should be arriving soon. I’ll just wait for her in the foyer. Go ahead and enjoy yourself. You’ve earned it.”

“Alright, if you say so…” Spike mumbled, half-believing his own words. Walking past the old tree, the slam of the doors closing reached his ears. He glanced back at the castle then continued along the path. As Ponyville emerged on the horizon, Spike’s fondness for gems reasserted itself. “Twilight said to enjoy myself so that’s what I’m going to do!” He bounded down the dirt trail with the pouch gripped in his claw. The metallic jingle of coins striking each other rang out in the air. In spite of renewed vigor, shreds of doubt lingered in his mind.

As Twilight and Spike disappeared down the stairwell, Korosensei loosened his grip from the crystal ceiling and silently dropped to the floor. He waited until the castle had gone silent before passing through the library’s doors. A small gasp escaped Korosensei’s mouth as he stared upon the towering book shelves which lined the room. This certainly eclipses Discord’s personal collection. Noticing the painstaking level of organization, Korosensei felt a pang of guilt while running his tentacle across a row of books. It’s a shame that all of the Princess’s work is about to go to waste. However, I can’t overlook this opportunity to broaden my knowledge on Equestria…and ruffle the Princess’s feathers. Korosensei’s grin turned mischievous as numerous smaller tentacles emerged from his sleeves. “Let’s get to work. Nurufufufufufu…”

Lounging on the foyer sofa, Twilight leafed through her old scrapbook. She blissfully stared at pages loaded with pictures and nostalgic keepsakes when a dull knocking emanated from the castle’s door. “Coming!” Twilight levitated her scrapbook back to the corner table before bounding to the door and opening it with a cheery smile. “Rainbow! I’m so glad you could make it!”

Twilight’s smile faltered under her friend’s half-lidded glare. “Hey, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash sighed wearily, dragging her hooves over the threshold. “Whatever you have planned for tonight, can we make it quick? It’s getting late and I need to catch up on some sleep.”

“Really? I’ve seen you stay up late plenty of times,” Twilight said with a concerned expression. “What has you so tired?”

“Some featherbrain busted through all of the clouds in Ponyville!” Rainbow shouted, eyes flaring with indignation. Twilight recoiled in shock, walking back a few steps as her friend went a tirade. “I had to skip my afternoon nap to work overtime and reschedule Ponyville’s weather for next week! And I even had to issue a formal apology at an emergency meeting of the Ponyville Agricultural Council! Do know how many ponies I have to consult before I can finalize the weather? Well, do you?!”

“Of course I do,” Twilight stated calmly, regaining a degree of her composure. “As a princess, it’s my job to know everything about the public institutions of Equestria. That includes the weather team and their planning process.”

“Oh…right,” Rainbow said quietly, her ears drooping from embarrassment. “Sorry for unloading on you like that, Twilight. I’m just really tired. Let’s get this over with so I can go home and sleep.”

“It’s okay, Rainbow. We all have bad days.” Twilight flashed a sympathetic smile and turned toward the stairs. “If you’ll come with me, I have something in the library that will lift your spirits.”

As Twilight giddily trotted up the stairs, Rainbow groaned and momentarily glanced back at the door which she had left ajar. I’ve already made the trip here so there’s no point in leaving now. She exhaled sharply and pushed the massive door shut before following her friend to the castle’s upper level.

Rainbow crossed into the library where Twilight eagerly awaited her arrival. She stood next to a table with a pair of books resting on top. What’s got so excited? As the covers’ details came into view, Rainbow quickened her pace, galloping to the table and leaning over for closer look. “No way! Is this…”

“The latest entry in the Daring Do series?” Twilight asked with a benevolent smirk, delighting in the spectacle of Rainbow’s rapidly shifting expressions. The scowl of exasperation dominating her face evaporated, replaced by a smile of foalish exuberance. “Why, yes it is. The publisher sent me some early copies at A.K. Yearling’s request. You’re the first pony I thought of after receiving them in the mail.”

“Twi, I don’t know how to thank you enough. This is awesome!” Rainbow pulled Twilight into hug. “It totally makes up for everything that happened today.” After holding the embrace for a minute, self-awareness struck Rainbow like a pile of bricks. She blinked and hastily released her grip on Twilight before attempting to salvage her image. “I mean, that’s really cool of you. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Rainbow,” Twilight said while stifling a giggle. “Sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier but there wasn’t any openings in my schedule. Spike and I spent the morning working through a mountain of paperwork before we finally organized the library.” She gestured proudly at the massive collection of book which lined the walls. “Every book is on the proper shelf, organized by subject, cross-referenced by author, and reverse-indexed by publication date.”

Rainbow trotted over to the nearest shelf and titled her head, scrutinizing the amassed literature. “Are you sure about that? I’m no librarian but even I know that Zebraka: Unmasked shouldn’t be next to The Colt of Monte Cristo.”

Twilight rolled her eyes and trotted to the shelf where her friend was standing. “Very funny, Rainbow. I personally triple-checked every shelf before finishing up. There’s no possible way that-“ Twilight stopped dead in her tracks, eyes nearly bugging out of her head. “You’re right…” she said incredulously before turning her gaze to the rest of the library. To her horror, a cursory glance revealed a slew of sorting errors among the other shelves. A heavy silence washed over the library as Twilight fell to her haunches.

Rainbow stared at her crestfallen friend, worry creeping into her heart. This is bad. I haven’t seen Twi like this since her brother’s wedding. I have to do something to cheer her up. Twi would do the same for me. Rainbow took a few tentative steps forward, ready to console her friend when Twilight’s hoof crashed down on to the floor. She reflexively jumped back as cracks radiated from the point of impact.

“How?! How could this have happened?! Who could have made this happen?!” Twilight roared, leaping to her hooves. She stomped around the library and glared at chaotic jumble of books which lined the shelves, her eyes twitching madly. “I was only gone for ten bucking minutes! Who could have possible done this much damage in that time?! It can’t be Discord! He is away somewhere, plus I enchanted every single book against his type of mischief! It doesn’t make any sense! This is exactly Discord’s style and yet he can’t be responsible!” Twilight let out an inarticulate scream before igniting her horn. Dozens of books flew off the shelves and gravitated to the library’s center, coalescing into a floating island of literature. “Well, you know what?! It doesn’t matter! I don’t even care who or what was responsible for this! What matters is my library! I didn’t spend my afternoon reorganizing all of my books to end up with this mess! This library is going to be organized even if it takes me all night!”

Maintaining a safe distance, Rainbow watched as Twilight’s behavior and ranting grew increasingly livid. She remained rooted in place, uncertain of how to deal with her friend’s ongoing meltdown. I should probably try to calm her down…but that could land me in the hospital. I’ll just grab my copy of Daring Do and check back in the morning. I’m sure that Twi wouldn’t mind if I left. Right? Despite her self-doubt, Rainbow steeled her resolve and turned around.

Rainbow blinked several times as her brain short-circuited. Instead of two copies of Daring Do’s latest adventure, she found a creature dressed in graduation regalia sitting atop the table. It cradled an old tome in its tentacles and casually leafed through the pages, seemingly engrossed in reading. A flurry of questions ricocheted around Rainbow’s head as she stared at the creature. Where did that thing come from? It wasn’t here a minute ago. I definitely should have heard it come in. She glanced back at Twilight before rolling her eyes in exasperation. Rainbow knew she could deal with this. She had fought of an army of changelings and a full-grown dragon. Why should this guy scare me?

As Rainbow took her first step forward, the octopus shut the book and set it on the table before abruptly materializing in front of her path. It loomed over her, standing at twice her height with a wide grin on its face. “Why hello there.”

Rainbow reflexively backpedaled and reevaluated her approach, never taking her gaze off the creature. Okay, maybe I should have Twi back me up. She paused, internally. Not that I need it.

On the other side of the library, Twilight felt something tap her shoulder. “Um, you might want to see this,” Rainbow said in a strained voice.

“WHAT?!” Twilight whirled around to face Rainbow who recoiled upon seeing her bloodshot eyes and disheveled mane. “WHAT COULD POSSIBLY SO IMPORTANT TO DISTRACT ME FROM FIXING THIS MESS?!” She followed Rainbow’s gaze back to the library’s center where the octopus gave a friendly wave. A deluge of shock and bewilderment swiftly dissipated the red mist clouding Twilight’s mind. “What in Equestria?”

Twilight’s concentration and magic simultaneously lapsed in that moment. The purple aura which suspended the island of books in mid-air faded, allowing gravity to reassert its dominion over the amassed literature. Twilight shut her eyes, bracing for the thunderous cacophony of thousands of books striking the castle floor. Seconds later, the rushing of air and a series of dull thuds were the only sounds to reach her ears. Hesitantly opening her eyes, Twilight’s jaw went slack as she swept her gaze across the library. A quick side-glance confirmed that Rainbow shared her sentiment. What just happened?

When her levitation spell had failed, Twilight mentally prepared herself for the worst outcome. Her imagination conjured up a disaster zone where hundreds of books were scattered around the library. Twilight’s heart sunk as visions of numerous pages floating in the air and irreplaceable tomes lying broken on the floor danced throughout her head. This is one time where I’m glad to be wrong. Massive stacks of books encircled the table where the creature had previously sat. Where did that creature go?

Electing to momentarily disregard the intruder, Twilight shifted her attention back to the inexplicable wall of literature looming in front of her. How is this even possible? Did that creature do this?. She trotted closer and began examining the amassed books. A reluctant smile forced its way on to Twilight’s face as she ran her eyes down the books’ spines. Rapidly scanning the other stacks, she felt a surge of relief upon seeing the identical style of their organization. The books are in perfect order! I can’t believe it! This is amazing! I couldn’t have asked for a better result. Well, I‘d prefer if they were back on the shelves but its better than the alternative. Twilight’s smile faltered as she shifted her gaze to the top of the stacks and noticed her copy of The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide was missing. Though, I wish that all of books were here. I wonder where it could have gone.

Twilight received her answer when a lone tentacle holding the missing title creeped into her field of view. He carefully laid the missing title atop its corresponding stack before disappearing. Loud squelching echoed throughout the library as the creature emerging from behind the wall of literature. After pausing to smooth the wrinkles from its robe, he turned to face Twilight and bowed. “My apologies for interrupting your private time, Princess.”

Twilight stared unblinkingly at the creature, flabbergasted by his appearance. She racked her brain to recall something he resembled from the pre-Equestrian tomes stored in the Canterlot Archives only to find nothing. After travelling to the human world, Twilight believed that nothing could shock her anymore. That notion was shattered to pieces when the creature had spoken to her. “Who are you? What are you?” Twilight blurted out before her mind had completed its reboot.

“My name is Korosensei. I’m merely a teacher who is enjoying a small vacation. I was passing through Ponyville when I heard about that the Princess of Friendship’s library was available to the public and decided to investigate.” Korosensei straightened his posture and ran a tentacle down a stack of books. “I must commend you for meticulously organizing such a massive collection of books. It certainly made reading more about Equestria far easier than I expected.”

“Wait, you’re responsible for causing this mess?!” Twilight asked, her eyes narrowing in rage.

“That would be correct,” Korosensei replied bluntly.

A bolt of magic flew shot through space which Korosensei had occupied moments earlier and hit the wall, marring it crystalline surface with an ingrained ring of soot. “Huh?! Where did he go?!” Twilight furiously glanced around library before feeling a rush of air behind her. There’s no way that’s a draft. Gritting her teeth, she whirled around and discovered Korosensei shaking his head.

“However, I’m disappointed in your reaction. I was under the impression that the Princesses of Equestria were capable of handling dire situations with a level head. I merely shuffled around a few books and you have already thrown a tantrum,” Korosensei chided as Twilight ignited her horn. Retrieving a map from his backpack, he scrutinized a small region while dodging Twilight’s flurry of magical projectiles. “Is this really appropriate behavior for a Princess?”

“Yes! My library is closed today so you are officially trespassing!” Twilight shouted, feeling her nerves fray with each successive miss. “Why can’t you just stay still?!”

“While it wouldn’t bother me too much, I prefer to keep my limbs intact. Regenerating them can be a hassle,” Korosensei said as the magical onslaught ceased. Twilight panted heavily with wings hanging limp at her sides. Despite the mounting exhaustion, her vengeful glare never wavered. Korosensei merely shook his head before looking over to the exit. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll be taking my leave. My vacation time is limited and there are other locales that I wish to visit before its over.”

“Oh no, you’re not going anywhere! Nobody gets to ruin all of my hard work and escape without consequence!” Twilight’s horn flared up again, unleashing a wave of magic which enveloped the entire library. For the briefest moment, the purple aura locked Korosensei in place while his complexion flashed deep blue. The spell collapsed as quickly as it was cast, allowing Korosensei to escape Twilight’s grasp.

Upon regaining his composure, Korosensei glided toward the exit. He stopped several feet away from the door and reached into his sleeve, glancing back at Twilight. “By the way, I’ll also be borrowing these books.” Korosensei flashed an impish grin and produced the missing copies of Daring Do. “Don’t worry, I’ll return them in due time.”

Shaken from her stupor, Rainbow immediately bolted to Korosensei and attempted to snatch the books. “Hey! Give those back!” she cried indignantly as her prize was constantly dangled just out of her reach. “We haven’t had a chance to read them yet!”

“Oh, what are you going to do about it?” Korosensei asked mockingly as green rings formed on his face.

“I’ll just rip them out of your slimy…whatever those things are.” Rainbow lunged at Korosensei only to faze through his ghostly doppelganger and collide with the wall. She awkwardly stumbled back before noticing Korosensei leaning against the doorframe.

“You would have to catch me first and that’s highly unlikely. You’re still welcome to try, though. Failure is always part of the learning process,” Korosensei remarked as he slipped between the twin doors.

A growl escaped Rainbow’s throat as she quaked with fury. She charged through the library’s doors with a vicious scowl plastered on her face. “Get back here! I’m not done with you yet!”

Sprinting into the hallway, Twilight found Korosensei standing by the open window. Rain mk mkbow stalked toward him with a murderous gleam in her eyes. “Ha! You’ve got nowhere left to run!” she sneered triumphantly.

“Is that what you think? How naïve,” Korosensei replied before leaping out of the window.

Twilight and Rainbow rushed to the window in time to glimpse Korosensei rocketing toward the Everfree Forest. Rainbow unfurled her wings and shot into the sky after him. “You’re not getting away that easy!”

“Rainbow, wait! It might be a trap!” Twilight let out an exasperated groan as her warning fell of deaf ears. “I don’t know why I even bother sometimes.” She flew out of the castle and shut its window before following her friend’s fading contrails.

Upon arriving at Sugarcube Corner, Spike was greeted by the closed door. It was an unusual sight given the frequent traffic surrounding the only bakery in town. The Cakes had closed down following the birth of the twins though operations resumed to normal within a few days. Citizens of Ponyville could comfortably on Sugarcube Corner to satiate their sugary craving at most hours of the day.

Spike suspiciously eyed the building, noticing the light filtering through the kitchen’s windows. He could have sworn that Sugarcube was open earlier today. It’s only sunset. Why would it be closed now? Walking around the perimeter, he could faintly hear a frantic stampede of hoofsteps and the clatter of bakeware. The scent of almonds wafted into his nostrils, eliciting a jealous growl from Spike’s stomach. Discarding his inhibitions, Spike jogged up to the entrance and knocked on the door. “Hello? Is anypony home?”

Within seconds, the door swung open and revealed Pinkie’s smiling face. Pieces of almond shells clung to her mane. “Hiya, Spike? What brings you around here?”

“Hey, Pinkie.” Spike said, peering into the building’s darkened interior. “Is that special on gem-encrusted cupcakes still going on?”

“Well, Sugarcube Corner is closed right now, but I’ll make an exception for my favorite dragon!” Pinkie hopped to the side and gestured to a small table near the counter. “Take a seat and I’ll ring you up!”

“Thanks Pinkie.” Spike handed over the pouch of coins before crossing the threshold. As he climbed atop the chair, a thought floated through his mind. “Hold on, do you even know any other dragons?”

“Not really,” Pinkie chirped. “I haven’t met any in the-” she paused for consideration “-scales? That sounds right. In the scales. Anyway, dragons send all of their orders by the mail.” She disappeared behind the counter. “ Why else would we make cupcakes with gems, silly.”

“Oh, right. That makes sense,” Spike said as the cash register’s distinct ring echoed throughout the empty building. Pinkie returned a moment later with a tray with the cupcakes balanced atop her curly mane. I will never understand how she does that.

“Here you go, Spike!” Pinkie carefully slid the tray on to the table, then skipping back to the counter. She beamed joyfully as Spike salivated over the gem-encrusted treats . “Enjoy!”

“Don’t mind if I do!” Spike stuffed a cupcake into his mouth and happily munched through the vibrant crystals. He repeated this process in quick succession, emptying the plate within a few minutes. Sighing contently, Spike brushed the crumb off his face. “Those really hit the spot after a long day of work.”

“Did you have to rework Twilight’s entire schedule?” Pinkie asked casually, wiping down the table with a damp cloth.

“I wish,” Spike said with a roll of his eyes. “Twilight had us spend the whole afternoon reorganizing the library. My arms are still aching from carrying all those books.” He paused as a ghost of a smile crept on to his face. “Though, it was nice to see Twilight happy again. I can’t be mad at that.” Glancing out the window, he noticed a crimson sliver vanishing below the horizon and turned to Pinkie. “By the way, do you know why Sugarcube Corner closed so early?”

“Sure do! Mr. and Mrs. Cake received an order for the Marzipan Mascerpone Meringue Madness yesterday. I actually forgot about it until a half-hour ago…”Pinkie admitted sheepishly.

“The Marzipan Marscerpone Meringue Madness?! Really?!” Spike shouted, leaning forward in his chair and nearly losing his balance. Pinkie nodded in response as he slowly climbed down to the floor. “Who ordered it? They must swimming in bits if they can afford that kind of cake!”

“No idea. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were so busy preparing the kitchen that I didn’t have a chance to ask.” Pinkie trotted behind the counter and donned her chefs. "The sacks of almonds must have arrived while I was checking on Angel and the rest of Fluttershy’s animals. Mr. and Mrs. Cake closed up early so they could get started on the marzipan. It’s probably the reason why Mr. Octopus wasn’t here when I came back.”

Spike cocked his head to the side. “Mr. Octopus?”

“Oh, that reminds me! When is the next opening in Twilight’s schedule,” Pinkie asked while dropping a massive planner atop the counter and opening it to the current date. “I was planning on having Mr. Octopus’s Welcome to Ponyville tonight but then I remembered that Twilight asked not to be disturbed and that Rarity and Fluttershy are staying in Fillydelphia for the Flower Show and that Applejack has-”

“Pinkie! Who is this Mr. Octopus you keep talking about?” Spike asked, immediately regretting his decision as Pinkie took a deep breath.

“Well, its funny you asked about that. I was walking back from Fluttershy’s cottage when suddenly my Pinkie sense went off. I felt my nose became pinchy, my ears became twitchy, and my back became achy. It was a new combo for me so I immediately started looking for the cause and discovered Mr. Octopus walking out of Sweet Apple Acres. I’ve never seen anything like him before. He looked exactly like an octopus except that he was really tall and could talk and was dressed like one of the professors at Maud’s graduation. I think he’s also able to change color but I’m not completely sure…”

As Pinkie rambled on, Spike was left with more questions flooding into his head than answers. A talking octopus? How is that even possible? Twilight taught me octopi could only live in salt water. How did it get all the way out here? I have to tell Twilight about this! He glanced up and discovered that Pinkie had yet to finish her explanation.

“Anyway, I was wondering if you and Twilight could attend Mr. Octopus’s party after tomorrow. Of course I’ll have to check with him first but that shouldn’t be a problem. I’m Ponyville’s premier party planner and nopony leaves without experiencing a proper Pinkie Pie party. Well, I guess in this case it would be no octopus but that just sounds weird.”

“Pinkie, we’re done blanching and peeling the almonds. We could use a helping hoof with grinding them up,” Mr. Cake called out at the moment when Spike raised his claw to respond.

“Be right there! Sorry to leave you hanging Spike but almond meal doesn’t make itself!” Pinkie tied on her apron before bounding off to the kitchen. “Just close the door on your way out. We can’t have somepony sneak in and spy on us while we’re making the MMMM. I’ll check back with you tomorrow about that party.”

Upon shutting the doors of Sugarcube Corner, Spike turned around and gazed at the Castle of Friendship. A wave of dread broke over him as the final rays of daylight bounced off its crystalline façade. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Get back here! Try saying that to my face again and see what happens!” Rainbow screamed, chasing after the octopus-thing. He descended in altitude, and swooped into an opening just outside the forest’s edge. Seconds later, she was at the entrance. Squinting her eyes, Rainbow failed to see anything but darkness beyond the cave’s mouth. A cacophony of snapping branches diverted her attention back to the Everfree Forest where a cluster of bushes were violently rustling.

“I said wait!” Twilight shouted wearily, emerging from the tree line. Dozens of twigs stuck out of her disheveled mane. She stumbled toward the cave, panting heavily while sweat dripped off her snout. “Would it kill you to listen me once in while?!”

“Yes,” Rainbow replied bluntly. “Now come on. I saw that thing fly into this cave. Let’s head in there and get back Daring Do.”

“Are you crazy?!” Twilight hissed. “There’s no way we’re going in that cave!”

“Why not?! You’re an alicorn princess and I’m the fastest flier in Equestria,” Rainbow said with a hint of bravado. “We’ve saved Equestria plenty of times by now. This should be a piece of cake.”

“You’re forgetting that we’re both exhausted and that thing is clearly more capable than either of us had expected.” Twilight brushed the twigs out of her mane. “It’s too dangerous to enter that cave when we don’t fully know what we’re up against.”

“Speak for yourself, Twilight,” Rainbow scoffed. “If you’re okay with that thing getting away with messing up your library and stealing your books, be my guest. Meanwhile, I’m going to march into that cave, kick his butt, and take back our copies of Daring Do.” She stormed into inky blackness, leaving Twilight with her jaw hanging open.

Seconds later, Rainbow heard a hoof sharply strike the ground. “Rainbow Dash, come back here! It’s dangerous to go alone!” Twilight’s warning echoed unheeded throughout the cave. “As a Princess of Equestria, I command you to come back here immediately!”

Rainbow said nothing, plunging deeper into the pitch darkness. Each step gradually reduced the visibility to nothing. In spite of her own worries, Rainbow’s fury was relentless. It silenced every protest Rainbow’s mind raised and drove her forth. She absolutely refused to allow that octopus have the final word. Smacking headlong into a wall, her rage was only slightly dampened.

Stumbling backwards, Rainbow massaged her aching skull when a violet light illuminated the space around her. She glanced over her shoulder with a pained yet satisfied smirk. “Took you long enough.”

Twilight leveled a venomous glare at Rainbow without breaking stride. “Shut up and keep walking.”

Venturing deeper into the unknown, Twilight’s magical glow peeled back the darkness and revealed the cave’s features. Gems embedded in the walls glittered from violet light while stalactites hung menacingly like a dragon’s teeth from the low ceiling. Twilight lead the way with Rainbow following a few paces behind, wings fidgeting at her sides from the alicorn’s menacing aura. An overwhelming silence permeated the air, broken up only by the periodic dripping of water. “Hey, Twi, I’ve been thinking-“

“That’s a first,” Twilight spat coldly.

Rainbow grimaced, biting her tongue before returning to her thought. “What exactly was that thing? I know Equestria is a weird place and all but that thing takes the cake!”

Twilight glanced back at Rainbow before letting out a heavy sigh. “Well, I have an idea. He might be a new species of octopus based on the tentacles and his remarks about regenerating limbs.”

“What’s a fish doing so far away from the water?” Rainbow pondered aloud.

“Actually, Rainbow, you’re wrong on both counts. Octopi are fully capable of traversing land. Also, they’re cephalopods, not fish,” Twilight stated matter-of-factly. “Octopi lack the backbone needed to classified as a fish among other biological traits.”

“Like that makes a difference,” Rainbow said dismissively.

“You would be surprised. The Marine Institute of Vanhoover has done extensive research on cephalopod intelligence and the results are fascinating. They have published numerous articles about octopi tool use, observational learning skills, and the complexity of their chromatophores.”

Rainbow shot Twilight a puzzled look. “Chromato-what-nows?”

“Chromatophores,” Twilight repeated. “They are a type of pigment cell which allows animals to change colors at will. Octopi are famous for their ability to camouflage with their environment down to its texture by manipulating their papillea which are-”

“Cut to the point, Twi,” Rainbow interrupted. “I wanted an answer, not an entire lecture on octopus biology.”

“Octopi are masters of disguise and camouflage,” Twilight said with exasperation dripping from her voice. “There are a few exceptions but an octopus can hide virtually anywhere.

“So that means he can be watching us right now but we can’t see him?” Rainbow asked, warily eying her surroundings.

“That’s definitely a possibility…” Twilight blanched upon hearing her own words. She frantically scrutinized the walls for anything that was uncharacteristically slimy or undulating. For a split-second, something appeared to glide across the ceiling. Twilight’s pulse began to skyrocket when a her mind posed a simple question. Why would he be watching us? He wanted to get away, not play with us. It doesn’t make any sense. Twilight shook off her lapse in irrationality before noticing the light diffusing several feet in front of her. “However, that’s not likely. He’s probably resting in the chamber up ahead. Come on!” Twilight shouted, quickening her pace.

“You don’t have to tell me twice!” Rainbow easily caught up to Twilight and trotted by her side. Crossing into the chamber, they were encircled by darkness with only a small sphere on visibility afforded by the magical glow. Rainbow’s ears twitched as their hoofsteps reverberated of . “By the way, why do you even know all this stuff about octopi?”

“I had a biology class during my time at Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. We had to choose an animal for our final written assignment and I wanted a challenge,” Twilight said wistfully. “Dr. Pelagos gave me an A+ on that paper.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Rainbow chuckled, scanning the ground for any trace of Korosensei. Unable to see anything beyond the cone of light, she lifted her head up and groaned. “Can’t you make it any brighter? We’re gonna be here for all night at this rate.”

“This is all that I can manage at the moment” - Twilight stopped in front of a crystalline surface and gazed at her own reflection- “but I may have a solution.” She charged up her horn and channeled her magic into the crystal. Darkness consumed the two ponies for a moment before a flash of violet illuminated the entire chamber.

It was nearly octagonal in shape with the corridor serving as the sole entrance and exit. A massive crystal protruded from the ground close to the center of the chamber. Aglow with Twilight’s magic, its violet light revealed the curved ceiling. Numerous ledges and alcoves dotted the walls, stretching up toward the cave’s apex.

Rainbow’s jaw went slack. “How did you-”

“These are quartz crystals,” Twilight stated curtly. “They aren’t very valuable to jewelers or dragons but unicorn explorers have used quartz as lanterns for decades. They conduct magic extremely well and provided more light than wax candles.” She spread out her wings and flew near an alcove before glaring at Rainbow. “Well, are you going to help me search for the octopus or not?”

“Right!” Rainbow shook her head and leapt to the closest ledge. “Now that we’re here, there’s no place left to hide!”

I never imagined that weather arrangement could be so relaxing. Korosensei leaned against the cave’s mouth, admiring the fruits of his labor. Storm clouds blanketed the night sky, unleashing a steady downpour upon the Everfree Forest. Gazing into the distance, Korosensei glimpsed flashes of light near the horizon. He looked at the magical charm in his tentacles as a thunderclap rattled the cave. I wonder if Discord will let me keep this when I return home.

“I can’t believe this! He got away! How is that even possible?!” Rainbow’s voice ranted furiously.

“I had a feeling this might happen. He probably slipped out of the chamber before I charged up the crystal,” Twilight’s tired voice replied. “Let’s just get out here and head home.”

“Yeah…I could definitely use some sleep after everything that happened today.”

Right on time. Stowing his graduation regalia inside the backpack, Korosensei tossed it into a nearby shrub before liquefying his body. He clung to the ceiling and mimicked the stone texture in time for Twilight and Rainbow to arrive at the cave’s mouth. They fell to their haunches and traded glances, staring at the raging tempest as its winds toppled a tree on the Everfree’s boundary.

“Well…looks like we’re staying here for a bit longer,” Twilight remarked after a long pause.

“Great. We’re going to be stuck here all night. Everfree storms can last for hours.” Rainbow muttered as a gust blew into the cave, splattering her with rainwater. A low snarl escaped her throat. “I guess you can’t just teleport back to the castle, right?”

“No, teleportation requires a lot of magic and I can barely maintain this illumination spell. Plus, I have no idea where this cave is in relation to the castle.” Twilight rose to her hoofs, turning away from the cave’s mouth and retreated down the corridor. “We should go back to that chamber. At least we don’t have to worry about getting wet there.”

“No argument here.” Rainbow shook the water from her fur before catching up to Twilight.

Korosensei detached himself from the ceiling and zipped to the shrub after Twilight’s glow had faded into the darkness. Clad in ninja garb, he swiftly remerged with a pencil and notepad grasped in his tentacles. Korosensei slung the backpack over his shoulder and glided down the corridor, a devious grin plastered his face. There nothing quite like seeking shelter for a storm to drive two ponies closer together. All that’s needed from me is a little push. On the back of his head, a heart with the words Couple Setup materialized. A tryst between a commoner and royalty! I can’t imagine juicier material for my trashy romance novel! Korosensei stifled a gleeful chuckle as the violet-lit chamber came into view.

Upon closing the door to her bed chamber, Princess Cadance sighed in relief. She tossed her robe aside and unceremoniously flopped on to her bed. A content smile spread across her face as she crawled underneath the blanket, delighting in its plush embrace. She glanced at her nightstand and ignited the candles which atop it before dropping her head to the pillow. Scented candles, freshly laundered sheets, and a bubble bath. I can’t think of a better way to end a day filled with a dozen meetings, mountains of paperwork, and Shiny’s mental breakdown. As Cadance was about to drift off to sleep, a chill raced up her spine. She bolted upright in the bed and blinked, her smile contorting into a scowl. “Someone is meddling in affairs of the heart,” Cadance growled, “and it’s not me!”

“So…is there anything you want to talk about?” Twilight Sparkle asked, resting several feet away from Rainbow Dash. She stared listlessly at the ceiling with her back pressed the crystal illuminating the chamber. Despite its cold touch sending down her spine, Twilight felt too exhausted to move a muscle.

“Not really,” Rainbow yawned, stretching out her wings. “I just want to get some sleep. It’s been a rough day.”

Twilight shot Rainbow a disbelieving look. “You’re going to fall asleep in this cave?”

“I’m not the ‘Greatest Napper of All Time’ for nothing,” Rainbow replied with a confident smirk. “I can fall asleep anywhere!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “That’s ridiculous. I highly doubt anypony could sleep in a place like this.” When she heard a dull thud, Twilight turned to discover that Rainbow had already dozed off. She laid sprawled on the stone floor with her mouth hanging open. Loud snores echoed throughout the chamber with the gentle rise and fall of her chest. “I stand corrected,” Twilight chuckled as Rainbow’s hind leg kicked in the air.

A gust surged into the chamber with a fearsome howl, shaking Rainbow from her slumber. “Must be some storm if the winds can reach us all the way in here,” she groaned, begrudgingly opening her eyes.

“Yeah,” Twilight remarked while staring at Rainbow who reciprocated the gesture. After a minute had passed, Rainbow’s expression grew agitated. She gestured impatiently for Twilight to speak up. Twilight’s thoughts drifted back to Rainbow’s outburst. “Back at the library, that octopus really got under your skin.”

Rainbow glowered at Twilight suspiciously. “Yeah, so?”

“I have never seen you that angry,” Twilight insisted, concern bleeding into her voice.

Rainbow sighed and broke eye contact, “I just really hate that word.”

“What word?” Twilight asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Failure.”

Twilight’s eyes widened at the revelation. “Rainbow…”

“Back in flight school, there was this instructor who’d always call me a failure,” Rainbow snarled, her face contorting into a vindictive grimace. “It really ticked me off.”

Crap. Twilight thought. I shouldn’t have gone there. She gently laid a hoof atop Rainbow’s shoulder. “But you’re not a failure! You’re a Wonderbolt cadet.”

“Don’t you think I know that, Twilight! And the Wonderbolts know it too!” Rainbow yelled, her expression brightening a moment later. “Spitfire might be tough on me sometimes, but she’d never call me a failure.”

The air grew warm between them as Twilight reflected on Rainbow’s last comment. “Have you ever been in love, Rainbow?”

Rainbow jerked upright and glared incredulously at Twilight. “Where did that come from?!”

“It’s something that’s been on my mind for a while now,” Twilight said while sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck. “I thought you might have a crush on Spitfire since you talk about her all the time.”

“What? No!” Rainbow shouted then sighed in exasperation. “Listen, Twilight, I talk about Spitfire so much because she’s a Wonderbolt. She’s just an awesome athlete. That’s all. Plus, I’ve been in enough relationships to know it wouldn’t work out between us.”

“Wait, you’ve been in a relationship before?” Twilight asked disbelievingly.

“Oh horseapples.” Rainbow cursed her slip of the tongue, lowering her gaze and knocking a pebble across the floor. Twilight continued to gaze at her, expectantly. Rainbow slowly exhaled before sitting opposite of Twilight. “I used to be active in the dating scene back when I lived in Cloudsdale. Everypony seemed to be in a relationship and I didn’t want to be left out. So I started going out with whoever was interested and there were a lot. I mean, who wouldn’t want to date the only filly to perform a sonic rainboom. Anyway, things usually ended after a week or two and I would move on to the next pony. This went on for a while before I realized I wasn’t happy.” Rainbow paused, a scowl overtaking her face as memories of that day came flooding back. “Now that I think about it, I only realized this after my date with Fluttershy’s brother-”

“Fluttershy has a brother?!” Twilight interjected, frowning at this new piece of information. “When were planning on telling me?!”

“I don’t know. When were you planning to tell us about Shining Armor?” Rainbow retorted dryly.

“Touché,” Twilight replied after a moment of silence. “Please, continue.”

“Thank you, I will.” Rainbow flashed a smug grin. “After that disaster, I decided to stop wasting my time on relationships. Around the same time, Fluttershy was getting ready to move to Ponyville so I decided to join her and start fresh. I got a job with the local Weather Team, bought my cloud house, and started my training to join the Wonderbolts. You should know the rest by now.”

Twilight blinked, slowly absorbing all the information that Rainbow had imparted. As she catalogued away the details, her mind focused on one event in particular. “If you don’t mind my asking, how bad was that date with Fluttershy’s brother?”

“It lasted for ten seconds before I bailed,” Rainbow stated bluntly. “Zephyr Breeze is the type of pony who can give a migraine without saying a word. If you’re ever unfortunate enough to meet him, you will regret it immediately afterwards.”

Twilight inhaled sharply, recoiling at the vitriol in Rainbow’s words. “I can see why you gave up on romance after an experience like that.”

“I never said that I gave up on romance,” Rainbow said, earning a baffled look from Twilight. “Sure, he may have turned me off of dating…and possibly stallions for good but that’s not the point. If I ever decide to try another relationship, it has to be something special.” She averted her gaze, unable to directly face Twilight. “I want there to be a connection that’s based on more than looks. They would have to get me on an emotional level. I want a pony to like me for me, not because I’m the fastest flier in Equestria or anything like that. I’ve dated enough jocks to know they’re not my type. I would be more interested in a pony who shares my love of the sky. A pony that I can comfortably share silence with. A pony that I wouldn’t mind slowing down for. You know, that sort of stuff…”

“Wow, that’s oddly profound for you, Rainbow,” Twilight said, stunned by the sincerity her friend’s remarks. Her mind struggled to rationalize how the same pony who treated anything “girly” with disdain could speak so candidly about love. “I never expected you to be such a romantic.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Rainbow muttered bitterly. “Just keep this yourself. I can’t have this getting out and ruining my reputation.” She turned to Twilight brandishing a glare that could terrify an adult dragon into fleeing. “If you tell anypony else, especially Rarity or Cadance, I’ll never forgive you.”

“My lips are sealed. Pinkie Promise,” Twilight reassured while going through the motions, stopping short of jabbing herself in the eye.

Rainbow breathed a sigh of relief and pulled Twilight into a tight hug. “Thanks, Twi. I knew that I could trust you.”

“Of course, Rainbow.” Twilight chuckled, enthusiastically returning the hug. “What kind of friend would I be if I couldn’t keep a secret.”

“Alright, enough about me.” Rainbow released her grip and stepped back, a curious gleam in her eyes. “So, who’s the lucky pony?”

Twilight jerked her head back in surprise. “What are you talking about?”

“You wouldn’t have asked me about this romance junk unless it involves you have a crush on somepony,” Rainbow declared confidently. “Let me guess, it’s probably that pegasus guard from the Crystal Empire.”

“Flash?” Twilight blinked, looking away as her voice grew quiet. “There’s nothing going on between us.”

“Really? You two seemed to hit it off pretty well after you came from the human world,” Rainbow said, recalling how the girls had teased Twilight after she bumped into the stallion.

“I thought so too.” Twilight slumped against the crystal, her expression turning sullen. “We even went on a double date with Shining and Cadance but that was where it ended. Flash had to leave early and we haven’t talked seriously since that day. Whenever we run into each other, he always has to be somewhere else and runs off”

Rainbow flashed a sympathetic grin. “Hey, I’m sorry that it didn’t work out between you and Flash. It’s probably for the best though.” As Twilight tilted her head to the side, Rainbow couldn’t help but snicker at her friend’s expense. “I know that you’re saving yourself for Princess Celestia.”

Twilight stared numbly, the horror slowly dawning on her face. Her mouth agape. She sucked in a deep breath and cried, “WHAT?!”

Spike stared anxiously out of the castle window as the storm raged outside. He had barely reached the castle’s door before the sudden downpour hit Ponyville. As a burst of lightning illuminated the night sky, he noticed a bizarre occurrence over the Everfree Forest. Flocks of birds had erupted from the trees in spite of the treacherous weather. A moment later, Spike heard something unmistakable amidst the rainfall. “Twilight! That sounded like Twilight! I’ve gotta go help her!”

Overwhelmed with concern, Spike mentally braced himself to face the storm when a lightning struck the old tree near the castle. It groaned in agony as a crack vertically split the trunk in half, revealing its smoldering interior. Embers danced along the blackened surface before the rain snuffed them out. Spike closed the window and slowly backed away. “On second thought, I’ll just get a fire started for when she gets back.

Rainbow groaned and rubbed the back of her head, checking for blood. The last thing she could recall was Twilight shouting at her before being launched at the wall. “Jeez, Twi, are you trying to make me deaf?” Upon opening her eyes, she was greeted by Twilight’s furious visage mere inches away from her face. “You okay there, Twi?”

“NO!” Twilight shrieked, her voice rising in pitch. “HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!”

Rainbow took a breath and looked deep into Twilight’s eyes. It didn’t take much effort to locate what had precipitated Twilight’s reaction. Buried underneath all of the bluster and fury, there were glimmers of fear and embarrassment. Despite the momentary satisfaction of being right, Rainbow was left at a crossroads. Okay, now what should I do?

“You should apologize.” A tiny Fluttershy materialized on Rainbow’s left shoulder in a flash of light. A translucent alabaster robe hung loosely off her body. She floated in front of Rainbow wielding a stern, humorless frown. “Twilight has been nothing but a good friend to you. You need to apologize before you hurt her feelings any more.”

“Bah! Where’s the fun in that?” A torrent of flames erupted on Rainbow’s right shoulder which subsided to reveal an equally tiny Discord. Clad in a crimson suit, he brushed off the soot and sauntered closer to Rainbow Dash. “When are you going to get a chance like this again? Besides, she’s a Princess. She can handle a little teasing.”

It took less than a second for a wicked grin to creep across Rainbow’s face. Discord pumped a fist in the air while Fluttershy merely shook her head in disappointment. They both vanished in puffs of smoke as Rainbow reached out and tenderly laid a hoof on Twilight’s neck. “Oh, Twilight, you don’t have to hide your feelings from me.”

“This isn’t funny, Rainbow!” Twilight growled, swatting the limb away. “Where did you even come up with something that ridiculous?!”

“You scrapbook,” Rainbow stated, prompting Twilight to step back. As she blinked in disbelief, Rainbow created more distance between herself and the alicorn.

“Scrapbook…” Twilight muttered. “You mean my Scrapbook of Friendship Memories? That scrapbook?!”

“ Yeah,” Rainbow remarked, massaging her aching head. Her ears were still ringing from Twilight’s earlier outburst. The cave’s acoustics only further compounded her migraine. “I think it’s kinda weird she’s in it so much.”

“What are you talking about?! All of my friends are in it!” Twilight ranted. “You, Fluttershy, Rarity-”

“All on one page,” Rainbow interjected, causing the words to die in Twilight’s throat. “You did the same thing with your family and Spike. The rest is all Princess Celestia.”

A faint blush creeped on to Twilight’s face. She looked askance and rubbed her foreleg with the other. “Well, I, uh, Princess Celestia is such a big part of my life, and I owe so much to her.”

“You really aren’t helping your case,” Rainbow said, stifling a bit of laughter. She had seen plenty of ponies fail at deception but Twilight was among the worst. Off the top of her head, the only worse liar she could think of was Applejack.

Twilight glared at Rainbow with renewed outrage. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

Unfazed by Twilight’s growing indignation, Rainbow flashed a smug grin. “You just called her Princess Celestia again. You’re a Princess now so you don’t need to be the title with her anymore. She even told you that herself.”

“I know! It’s just, uh, that’s what I’ve called her for my entire life! You can’t expect me to start addressing her so informally after only a few months!” Twilight snapped before lowering her gaze to the ground. The blush on her cheeks glowed brighter. “Besides, it’s more than that. Princess Celestia has ruled Equestria for over a thousand years and accomplished so much in that time. I’m just treating her with the proper respect she deserves.”

“Right,” Rainbow smirked. “Is that why you always look at her like that?”

“Like what?!” Twilight demanded.

“Those long lingering looks,” Rainbow said, garnering a confused look from Twilight. “You gotta know what I’m talking about!” She mussed her mane to match Twilight’s style before leering at the alicorn with a half-lidded gaze. After shaking her mane back to its unkempt glory, she chuckled as Twilight’s expression had morphed into one of shock. “That’s how you look at Princess Celestia whenever she’s around. Though, I can’t blame you. I mean, she’s got that big luscious flank. That long flowing mane. Those strong powerful wings”-Twilight’s wings perked up, shooting outward with an audible pomf -“You see!? See what I mean?”

“No, I don’t!” Twilight cried, frantically flailing her forelegs to cover up her wings. She tried to force them back in place only to wince from the slightest touch. “You’re just, uh, imagining things!”

Rainbow sat up and crossed her forelegs. “Then explain the body pillow.” Twilight stopped fighting with wings and slowly looked at Rainbow. All of the fury in her eyes was gone, replaced by an overwhelming horror. Rainbow blinked, struggling to comprehend the drastic emotional shift.

“H-How do you know about that?” Twilight stammered, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

“Twilight, I’ve been in your room. You didn’t really think you were keeping it hidden, did you?” Rainbow asked with an even tone.

“There’s a perfectly good explanation for that.” Twilight turned away, nervously stroking her tail. Rainbow continued to stare at her, expectedly. “When I was filly, I used to be afraid of thunderstorms. They terrified me. I would always run to my parents’ room and sleep with them whenever one happened. Then, I got accepted into Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. I was studying with her one night when a massive thunderstorm blew into Canterlot. Nopony knew where it came from and the weather ponies couldn’t do anything about it. It was strong enough to shake the castle walls. I was so scared…but Princess Celestia knew exactly what to do. She let me with her that night. She even wrapped her wing around me. It was so warm…” Twilight lifted her head and let out a wistful sigh. “I can’t remember a better night’s sleep. I eventually got over my fear of thunderstorms but those memories stayed with me. After all the stress that comes from my Princess duties, that pillow helps me sleep peacefully. You have to believe me! That pillow has nothing to do with love. It’s just my way reliving fillyhood memories,” Twilight implored. “You know, like a teddy bear.”

Rainbow groaned internally, feeling her resolve weaken under Twilight pleading gaze. However, she couldn’t shake a though lingering in the back of her mind. “Okay…but why is she wearing a schoolgirl uniform?” Twilight’s breath hitched as a single tear drop hit the cave floor. Looking closer, Rainbow noticed more tears streaming down her cheeks. Twilight’s blush had exceeded critical mass, staining her lavender coat a deep crimson. In that moment, the gears within Rainbow’s head finally started to move. Tears. There weren’t supposed to be tears. Guilt crashed down upon her like road roller plummeting from the sky. Oh buck, I took this way too far. Rainbow slowly approached her friend with an outstretched hoof. “Twilight, wait, I didn’t mean to-”

“S-SHUT UP! You don’t what you’re talking about! Leave me alone!” Twilight whirled around and leapt toward the nearest ledge only to crash on to the floor. Cursing under her breath, she glared at her erect wings as Rainbow rushed toward her. “Stupid wings! Stupid Rainbow Dash!” Twilight ignited her horn before vanishing in a violet flash. She rematerialized on the ledge then slinking into an alcove. Moments later, her sobs began echoing throughout the cavern.

“Well, I hope you’re happy with yourself. You made Twilight cry,” the tiny Fluttershy remarked, reappearing in a flash of light with her back turned. Rainbow winced as those words cut deeper than ever expected. She was accustomed to pain from innumerous crashes but this was different. It was lingering and growing stronger with each passing second. The tiny Fluttershy then glanced over her shoulder with eyes brimming with cold rage. “You must be so proud.” Shrinking back from the glare, Rainbow tried to think a retort before noticing a plume of fire from the corner of her eye.

Perched atop a stray rock , the tiny Discord stroked his beard with a troubled look on his face. “Yes, this is quite the predicament you gotten into.” Rainbow glared at the draconequus who responded with a dismissive wave. “Don’t give me that look. I only told you to tease her a little, not drive her to tears. It’s on you to fix this mess.” Without another word, the tiny Discord and Fluttershy vanished once again in puffs of smoke.

Rainbow flew up to the ledge and peered into the alcove. “Hey, Twilight, can we talk?” A flash of violet filled her field of view. Acting on pure instinct, Rainbow jerked her whole body back. A searing bolt of magic whizzed inches away from her muzzle and struck the chamber wall. Rainbow’s heart hammered inside her chest as molten rock oozed to the floor. “Okay! You’re not in a talking mood. I get that. No problem. I’ll handle all the talking then.” Rainbow took in a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m not the best pony when it comes to words. Never have been. So all I can say is…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I though I was just clearing the air between us but that wasn’t the case. Listen, we don’t have to talk about your feeling for Princess Celestia if you don’t want to. But if you ever want to talk about it, I’ll always be there for you…” Rainbow paused as the implications of her statement sunk in, feeling her cheeks heat up. “…along with the rest of the girls. We’re never going to abandon you. So, Twilight, please come out and we can just forget this mess ever happened. Okay?”

After a minute, Twilight emerged from the alcove. She stared at Rainbow with an unreadable expression, her eyes tinged red from crying. “Rainbow, I-” Twilight’s stomach growled, eliciting a sheepish grin from the alicorn. “Sorry, I guess I’m a little peckish. Now that I think about it, I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.”

“Same here. My lunch break was taken up by the Council meeting,” Rainbow chuckled, rubbing the back of her head. “I could go for a bite of something.” A clatter of metal and ceramics rang out as another gust surged into the chamber. Rainbow whipped her head toward the source and felt her jaw drop. “No way. That can’t be real.” Positioned a foot away from the massive crystal were a pair of stools and a table covered with a red checkered cloth. A plate of noodles coated in a red sauce rested atop it along with a candle and some forks. “Spaghetti and hayballs?” The wafting aroma of basil and tomatoes soon confirmed her suspicions. Glancing at Twilight who quickly nodded in response, they glided down to the inexplicable pasta dish.

As they paced around the table, Twilight ignited her horn and shrouded the plate in a lavender aura. “I can’t detect anything out of the ordinary except for a lack of salt. It’s just a plate of spaghetti and hayballs so I don’t see a reason not to eat it.” Twilight hopped atop one of the stool and seized a fork with her magic. Coiling noodles around the utensil, she eagerly shoved it in her mouth. A frown materialized on Twilight’s face after several chews. “Whoever made this isn’t a very good cook. The spaghetti is overdone.” She turned to Rainbow. “Aren’t you going join me? You said that you’re hungry.”

Moving toward the table, Rainbow stopped in her tracks as Twilight slurped up one of the noodles. A memory from her fillyhood bubbled to the surface of watching movies with parents. In particular, she recalled a sappy romance where the characters shared a dinner with an identical set-up and a mishap involving a shared noodle. Rainbow sat down next to the massive crystal. “Actually, I’ll pass. I had a big breakfast so I can afford to miss a meal or two.” She yawned and looked up at ceiling. “Besides, that way we can avoid having an…accident.”

Twilight cocked her head to the side “Accident? What are you talking about…” Twilight’s blush flared up as a look of dawning realization crossed her face. “Oh…right. We certainly wouldn’t want… that to happen.” Several minutes of silence awkwardly passed while Twilight finishing up her meal. Wiping the sauce off her muzzle, Twilight slid off the stools and glanced around the chamber then to Rainbow. “What should we do now?”

Rainbow shrugged. “Don’t know. Probably should try to get some sleep.” As she leaned against the glowing quartz, a chill shot up her spine. Rainbow lurched forward and groaned tiredly. “Though, that’s easier said than done. I may be the ‘Greatest Napper of All Time’ but that’s not going to help me stay asleep, especially if those winds keep up. I could use a blanket or something.”

In that moment, a third gust blew past the table and snuffed out the candle’s flame. Rainbow narrowed her eyes and snapped her attention to the cave’s entrance. Now I know something’s going. That didn’t come from outside. Sweeping her gaze across the chamber, Rainbow saw something that resembled a pink blanket resting not far from the table and blinked. Upon noticing it wasn’t a hallucination, she marched closer and picked it up. “You’ve gotta be kidding me! Where is this all stuff coming from?!” She took a few moments to run her hoofs over the blankets, marveling at the blanket’s silken texture. Disgust welled up and overwhelmed pleasure as closer examination revealed a heart motif.

“I have no idea but do you think we could share that blanket?” Twilight flashed an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I’m little bit cold myself.”

“That might be a problem. This thing is pretty small. We’d have to get really close together in order to…share…it.” Rainbow’s mouth creased into a frown before tossing the blanket to Twilight. “You know what? You can have the blanket, Twi. You probably need it more. I’ll find some way to get some sleep.” Rainbow dropped to the ground and closed her eyes.

“Really? Thanks, Rainbow,” Twilight said, wrapping herself in the blanket and sighed wistfully “I wish that I was at castle. I’ve never slept without a mattress.”

A heavy thud shook the entire chamber, prompting Rainbow to bolt upright. She quickly looked at Twilight before sprinting around the quartz and halting dead in her tracks. Twilight joined her friend a moment later in staring at the inexplicable occurrence in front of their eyes, dumbfounded by its existence in the cave. A massive heart-shaped had materialized out of thin air. Rose petals lay scattered across its blanket and pillows. An ornate record player rested atop a nightstand. As its needle struck the rotating vinyl, a swanky guitar riff flooded the chamber. “Hey, Twi?”

“Yes, Rainbow?” Twilight replied numbly.

“Have you ever done anything to piss off Cadance?”

“Not that I can recall.”

“Okay. What about caves carrying some sort of romantic curse. Are there any of those located near Ponyville?”

Twilight blinked and turned to Rainbow with a disbelieving expression. “Rainbow, those aren’t real. They’re just plot devices used by amateurish writers to forcibly create romantic tense between characters.”

“That’s all I needed to know,” Rainbow remarked, swiftly executing an about-face and marching toward the exit.

“Where are you going?” Twilight asked with a hint of concern tinging her voice.

“Home. I’ve had it with this cave,” Rainbow stated without a glance back. “I’m going back to my cloud house and sleeping this mess off. Hopefully, I can forget this day completely.”

As she stepped into the stone corridor, Rainbow was sideswiped by a burst of wind which lifted her off the ground. She had no idea what happened next but is somehow ended with her being snout-to-snout with Twilight. Feeling the alicorn’s breath on her fur, she tried to backpedal only to discover something slimy was restricting her movement. The space between Rainbow and Twilight then started to disappear. Oh buck me. She frantically looked for a way to escape, noticing the yellow tentacle also holding onto Twilight. Moments before their lips were to meet, Twilight fired off a bolt of magic.

The tentacle holding Rainbow loosened its grip, allowing her to slip free and create some breathing room. That was a close one. She panted heavily as blur of black of yellow shot into the exit, accompanied by the rushing of air. Scanning the chamber, Rainbow flinched upon seeing the tentacle was still moving. It twitched and writhed like a fish out of water, slowly disintegrating with each passing moment. Rainbow looked away and spotted a familiar object on the ground. “A book…No way… It can’t be…” Trotting up to book, her heart soared with joy as the unmistakable figure of Daring Do came into view. “Hey, Twi, check it out! We got Daring Do back! Isn’t that awesome?” When no response came, Rainbow turned around. “Twilight?”

Twilight held what was left of the tentacle within a lavender bubble, its disintegration seemingly halted. “I’ve never seen anything like this before. Maybe it will tell me more about that octopus. Imagine the possibilities! Nopony has ever encountered something like this!” Twilight beamed, her eyes shining with unbridled curiosity. “I can have my research published by Canterlot University Press. They might even ask be a lecturer. I’ve always wanted to be call Professor Twilight Sparkle and now that can happen. Isn’t that amazing, Rainbow?”

“Whatever you say, Twi,” Rainbow smiled wearily. “You go ahead with your science and stuff. I’m heading home for some long overdue rest.”

“Wait!” Twilight cried out. “Your home is pretty far from Ponyville and you must be very tired. Why don’t stay at my castle for the night? I have plenty of spare rooms.”

Rainbow wanted to decline Twilight’s offer. She desperately wanted to return home and drift off to sleep on her cloud mattress. However, her resolve crumbled away under Twilight’s gaze. Rainbow let out a sigh of resignation and motioned to the exit. “Fine. Lead the way.”

Several miles away, Korosensei stood on a wooded hilltop and reminisced about the day’s events. “I should remember not to underestimate alicorns in the future,” Korosensei mused, tying his hammock between a pair of oak trees. “If I’m not more careful, losing a tentacle will be least of my concerns.”

Retrieving his special pillow from the backpack, Korosensei changed into his pajamas then stowed his guidebook inside the backpack. “I should ask Discord where he got the idea that those two had feelings for each other. I created the ideal romantic environment and nothing happened. Though, it wasn’t a complete waste of time.” Korosensei grinned, skimming through his notepad of Twilight’s deepest secrets. “What I learned in that cave is far juicier than anything that Discord had in his almanac.” He dropped the notepad into backpack before securing it to a low hanging branch and yawned. “I should get some rest. Wouldn’t want to start the last day of my vacation tired.”

Flopping onto the hammock, Korosensei let out a content sigh as breeze rolled through the trees. The clouds floated away to unveil the tapestry of stars and comets, momentarily taking his breathe away. Pale moonlight bathed the forest and invited the crickets to fill the air with their lullaby. Korosensei smiled serenely before drifting off to the realm of dreams.

Walking down the castle’s lengthy hallway, Twilight was struck by an odd revelation. The cold which had greeted her each morning was absent, replaced by a comforting warmth. The feeling had lingered since her and Rainbow’s return last night. She glanced back at Rainbow and noticed her content expression. Upon reaching the hallway’s end, Twilight ignited her horn and swung open the window. She stared at the distant hills, smiling as the sun’s rays bathed her face. A breeze carried the scent of flowers into the castle’s interior along with the bird’s morning song. Hearing Rainbow clear her throat, Twilight snapped out of her reverie and turned around. “Hey, thanks for letting me crash here,” Rainbow said while sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck.

“You don’t need to thank me, Rainbow.” Twilight stepped forward and pulled Rainbow into a brief hug. She felt her friend stiffen for second before reciprocating the gesture. “That’s what friends are for.”

Rainbow flashed an appreciative grin then turned to the staircase. As she disappeared into the foyer, the events of last night replayed in Twilight’s mind. Her gaze wandered to Rainbow’s well-toned flank. Friends… Twilight’s wings flared out. “Gah!”

“Is everything okay, Twilight?” Spike’s drowsy voice called from down the hallway.

“Yeah, Spike. Everything’s fine,” Twilight replied while trying and failing to fold back her wings. The young dragon’s footsteps reached her ears after a moment of skeptical silence. As they grew louder, she wracked her mind for an believable excuse before catching a glimpse of Rainbow’s vibrant tail. “I’m just, uh, walking Rainbow to the door!” Twilight hastily trotted down to the stairs without waiting for Spike’s answer.

Flashback Time

A dull knocking echoed inside the apartment’s walls. Flash Sentry groaned and buried his head under the pillow, desperate to muffle the intruding noise. Just ignore it. Whoever’s out there will just leave when nopony comes to answer. To his dismay, the pounding on his door persisted and seemingly grew louder. After failing to return to sleep several times, Flash poked his head from under his blanket and glared at the nightstand. His mouth curled into a frown at seeing the time displayed by his alarm clock.

“12:37,” Flash muttered, striking the mattress with his hoof. “Who visits at 12:37 in the morning?!”

Dragging himself out of bed, Flash stared listlessly at the interior of his apartment. A void of darkness littered with indistinguishable shapes greeted him. The moonlight that filtered through his curtains did little to improve visibility.

Flash grimaced, scanning the walls. Now, where was the light switch again? Try as he might, he could not penetrate the fog of exhaustion. He inched along the perimeter until his foreleg inadvertently brushed against it.

Light flooded the room and refracted through the crystalline walls, illuminating every corner of the apartment. Flash’s eyes burned while the blur of furniture slowly shifted into focus. A dull throb gripped Flash’s skull as the knocking quickened.

Flash growled and flung open the door. “Alright, whoever you are, there better be good a reason for waking me up at this hour and-”

Flash felt the words die in his throat as his brain short-circuited. He stared at the white unicorn on his doorstep. A few moments passed before Flash regained his ability to speak. “Is that really you, Captain?”

“Yes, Flash. It’s me,” Shining Armor whispered, “Now, please, keep it down! Any louder and you’ll wake the neighbors!”

Flash blanched, then leaned out of the doorway and frantically scanned the adjacent apartments. To his relief, the windows were still dark and the night air was silent. Flash had no desire to concoct an explanation for the presence of a member of the Royal Family at this hour. He sharply turned to Shining.

“What are you doing here?!” Flash hissed. “It’s the middle of the night!”

“Cadance banished me to the couch,” Shining mumbled, examining the crystalline flagstones comprising the front walk.

“Oh. I’m…”—Flash wracked his mind for the appropriate response—“sorry to hear that. But that still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here!”

“Well, you’re the only pony I know with a couch,” Shining Armor replied sheepishly.

Flash glanced at the maroon sofa resting near his window, then back to Shining Armor. “Hold on, you can’t expect me to believe that! Your parents are full-time professors at Canterlot University.”

“Yes.”

“You’re part of the royal family.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You live in a fully-furnished castle a hundred times bigger than this apartment.”

“That’s right.”

“But you don’t have a couch.”

Shining rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I do actually…”

Flash shot him an expectant look.

“Y’see, it was a gift from dad after I was accepted into the Academy. And I meant to have it shipped up here when me and Candence moved out here. But with all the work that goes into keeping the Crystal Empire running I just sorta, y’know, forgot.”

Flash rolled his eyes. “And I’m the only pony you know with a couch.”

“Well, apart from my parents.” He let out a nervous chuckle. “And the last thing I wanna do right now is catch a train to Canterlot and explain all of this to them.”

Flash gave Shining a blank, unamused look, struggling to maintain his stony façade as beads of sweat formed along his superior’s brow.

Finally, after several tense moments, Flash’s face split into a knowing grin. Shining smiled back, punching his Lieutenant’s shoulder then crossing the threshold into the apartment.

“Very funny, Flash. You really had me goin’ there.”

“Come on, I’d never do that,” Flash said as he shut the door. “Besides, I still owe you for covering for me back in Ardent Shield’s class.”

“Oh, right. How could I forget? She wouldn’t settle for anything but the best from us,” Shining Armor remarked with a nostalgic grin. He glanced at graduation photo by the alarm clock then turned to Flash. “Whatever happened to her? Last time I was in Canterlot I couldn’t find her anywhere. Least of all she wasn’t making her mid-afternoon rounds.”

“You didn’t hear?” Flash asked, earning a puzzled look from Shining Armor. “She retired.”

Shining Armor’s jaw dropped. “You’re kidding me! She’s barely older than my parents! There’s no way she’d retire that young!”

“That’s what I though too, but I guess things change.” Flash trotted to the closet and pulled out his spare blanket, then tossed it to Shining Armor before flicking off the lights and climbing back onto his bed. “I ran into her at the train station while I was bringing up my stuff. She said something about having had enough of Canterlot and the ‘stuck-up tossers in charge.’ I heard she bought a farm down in Mexicolt and is doing alright for herself.”

“Huh.” Shining fell to his haunches. “I never pictured Ardent settling down as a farmer.”

Flash shrugged. “Me neither.” He collapsed onto the pillow and waited for the warm embrace of sleep to whisk him away. It never came as a morbid curiosity gnawed at back of his mind and denied him that rest. I’m going to end up regretting this, aren’t I? Flash groaned then looked over to Shining Armor who was fluffing the sofa’s armrest. “What exactly happened between you and Cadance? I thought she seemed quite reasonable.”

Shining’s eyes widened with terror. “’The inferno hath no fury.’ You’ve only ever experienced a fraction of her rage, but she saved all the rest for me…” He shuddered, then rose and hobbled into the kitchen. “Do you have anything to drink? I really need something for my nerves after, y’know, everything.”

“Check under the counter. I keep some booze under there for just this sort of occasion.” Flash yawned and sat up. “There’s also ice in the freezer.”

“Thanks,” Shining replied, igniting his horn. The clinking of glass rang throughout the apartment as several bottles floated to the coffee table. He returned to the sofa and eagerly filled the glass with an amber liquid. Raising it to his lips, Shining Armor drained the contents in a single gulp before turning to Flash. “Anyway, the second you were gone she—”

As the map’s viewing portal dissipated, Discord sighed contentedly. The first day of Korosensei’s vacation had far exceeded his expectations. Regardless of possible repercussions lying ahead, Discord didn’t care anymore. The satisfaction of witnessing Twilight Sparkle’s emotional meltdown was worth it.

“I wonder what tomorrow will bring.” Discord’s expression darkened within just as the words left his mouth. “Oh, right, everything will be over then. Korosensei will resume his teaching duties, I will return the mirror portal with nopony the wiser, and life in Equestria will go back to normal.”

Discord grimaced, slumping against the backrest. “It’s a shame, really. I would have liked to visit Korosensei after his little sojourn is over. If only the Princesses didn’t hog the portal for themselves, it would be so much easier,” he remarked bitterly.

Then in a flash, he bolted upright with a manic grin quickly spreading across his face.

A snap of his fingers warped Discord back to his laboratory. He swiftly donned his coat then hurried to the blackboard where a battered green tome rested on the floor nearby. Scooping it up, Discord brushed off the thin veneer of chalk dust that had settled on it, then consulted the index.

“Ah, there it is,” he muttered, before flipping to the third chapter. Hidden within its yellowed pages were the schematics for Starswirl’s mirror portal, a treasure that would leave Canterlot scholars salivating. Hastily scrawled notes lined its margins. Most of the words had faded to the point of unintelligibility excepting only a warning penned in crimson ink accompanied by an arrow pointing to the device’s power source.

Reading over them, Discord cracked a cocky smirk. “Do not handle under any circumstances. Must not ne removed,” he scoffed, pulling tight a pair of latex gloves over his mismatched limbs. “What does he take me for? Some kind of magical neophyte?”

Grabbing a wrench off the table, Discord turned to the portal with a wicked glint in his eyes. “Now, time to see what makes you tick.”

“-and that’s not even the worst part!” Shining Armor ranted while refilling his glass. “Cadance is taking me couch shopping tomorrow!”

Flash rolled his eyes again. “Is that really so bad?”

“Yes, it is!” Shining Armor insisted. “Cadance knows how much I hate furniture shopping so she’s going to draw it out as long as possible!” Downing the rest of his drink, he slammed the glass onto the table. “She’s going to drag me to every store, look at every model, check what material they’re made of, ask about financing options-”

Flash held out his hoof. “Hold on, why would financing matter?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. “You’re royalty. Aren’t you just going to charge it to the Treasury or something?”

“We can’t anymore.” Shining groused. “The Council placed a monthly limit on royal expenses and we’ve already used ours. That couch is coming out of my pocket”

“Wait, what?” Flash straightened up. “Why would they do that after everything the Princesses have for-”

“Princess Luna spent half-a-year’s worth of taxes to buy several arcade machines and upgrade her gaming room,” Shining Armor growled.

“Oh…”

Shining shook his head and attempted to pour another drink only to find the bottle was empty. He frowned and set it aside before uncorking a new bottle. Iridescent liquid flowed into the glass and mixed with remaining drops of the amber alcohol. Shining Armor dropped in a fresh pair of ice cubes then took a long sip.

Sadness and frustration washed over Flash as he glimpsed the collection of empty bottles resting atop the coffee table. His gaze drifted to the latest victim of Shining’s bender, a square-based bottle with a neck coated in red wax. Well, so much for my Appleloosa Bourbon. No big deal. It’s not like I was saving it for a special occasion. Flash exhaled slowly through his gritted teeth. Calm down. It’s not all bad. At least I still have the crystalberry schnapps…for about another minute. Feeling his optimism slip away, Flash collapsed against the backrest.

“Anyway, do you know what visiting to all those stores will get me?” Shining asked, his voice strained and manic.

“A comfy couch?” Flash replied dryly.

“NO!” Shining roared back, startling Flash out of his stupor. “In fact, it’ll be the exact opposite! I know how Cadance thinks! After torturing me all day, she’ll just order a Ypperlig from Yak-Yakea!”

“What’s a Ypperlig? Wait, buck-” Flash punched the mattress, cursing his inability to keep that question mental.

Shining whipped his head around, revealing an unhinged smile. “Oh, I’ll tell you what a Ypperlig is. It is suffering given upholstery. It was created by yaks who were bitter about losing the Battle of Sarlagiin Lake so they decided take revenge and did so in the most painful way possible. They created it to be uncomfortable knowing that, one day, Yak-Yakea would rise up and inflict it’s reasonably priced agony upon Equestria. They created it knowing that, one day, I would mess up badly enough for Cadance would exile me to one. They created it knowing I would suffer.”

Flash stared blankly at Shining. “Don’t you think you’re blowing this a teensy bit of proportion. I mean, it’s just a couch.”

“Weren’t you listening?! It’s not just a couch! It’s a torture device!

“Okay, let’s take a step back,” Flash groaned as a dull throbbing gripped his skull. “What’s the worst that’ll happen when you get that couch? A few nights of rough sleep. That’s it. Besides, look on the bright side. It’s from Yak-Yakea so it won’t take a huge bite out of your wallet.”

“Oh, that’s what you think,” Shining chuckled ruefully. “What the Ypperlig spares you in upfront cost, it makes up for with a mountain of chiropractor bills. It took weeks for Bulk to work out the kinks!”

I give up. Flash threw up his hooves. It’s official: my boss is nuts. Yawning, he glanced over at his alarm clock. “We really should get to bed. There’s a long day ahead of me.”

“You’re probably right,” Shining Armor sighed then re-corked the schnapps bottle. “We’re heading out at 0700 hours. First stop: Quills and Sofas in Ponyville…” He stopped. Eyes shining with devious intent, he slowly looked up at Flash.

A shiver raced down Flash’s spine. Oh buck.

Shining gave him a warm but calculated grin. “Why don’t you join us, Flash? My sister will be there and-”

“No.” Flash said. But then he paused. Toyed with the idea for the briefest instant. “Just no.”

Shining’s smile twisted into a frown. “Why not?”

Flash inhaled sharply then straightened his posture. “Permission to speak freely, sir?”

“Flash, we’re off duty.”

“Yes sir, I know that, sir. Permission to speak freely, sir?”

Shining shot him a glare, but Flash kept up his stony facade.

After a minute’s stalemate, Shining relented. “Granted.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, Flash slumped against the bed’s backrest. “Your sister’s crazy. Certifiably certifiable.”

“She is not!” Shining retorted. “Eccentric, sure, but crazy?”

Flash shook his head in disbelief. “Don’t you remember our double date?”

“Of course I do! You two seemed to hit it off quite nicely. It was a great success!”

Those words hit Flash like a runaway cart of bricks. For the second time within the hour, he had to seriously question the sanity of his commanding officer. “In what conceivable universe did we ‘hit it off?’”

Shining cocked his head. “I don’t follow.”

Flash massaged his temples. “Do you remember what happened after the date?”

“Sure,” Shining said. “The train wasn’t ready for our return trip so we waited at Twilight’s castle. She went to make us tea while we were in foyer and…” A look of sober realization dawned on him. “Oh. Right.”

Try as he might, Shining Armor couldn’t stifle the triumphant grin that now spread across his face. When Cadence had proposed the double date, Shining had been doubtful. But each stage of her plan had gone perfectly. A beautiful, sunny day. A wonderful meal at the best café in Ponyville. A joyful smile on Twilight’s face. He chuckled internally. Just according to plan.

Flash broke stride and bowed before Twilight. “Your highness, thank you for allowing me entrance into your residence whilst travel preparations are being completed.”

“Please, Flash, there’s no need to be so formal,” Twilight said, a coy smile on her face. “Call me Twilight.”

“Very well then, Twilight,” Flash smirked. “Thanks for letting me stay here.”

Twilight giggled. “It’s no problem at all. This big castle gets so lonely sometimes…”

Guiding her guests through an archway, she lead them into a parlor with a large couch and coffee table. A bookcase packed with old tomes stood next to the window.

Twilight gestured to the couch. The three of them exchanged skeptical glances, then all squeezing together into the couch. She smiled and trotted off down a corridor. “While you’re all waiting, I’ll go fetch some water for tea.”

Shining usually hated being in the middle seat, but he felt contentment wash over him as Cadance snuggled his shoulder. He let his mind wander, marveling at the crystal lamps jutting from the walls. His thoughts drifted back home to the Crystal Empire. In two short weeks, they’d be hosting the Winter Gala, and all Shining wanted was for his bro Flash to have a partner. Cadence was right, he thought with a smile, The two of them sharing their first dance at our Royal Gala, it’s meant to be.

“What’s this?” Came a voice at his side, breaking into his reverie.
Shining looked up and found Flash picking a scrapbook off of the coffee table. Its cover looked like a glitter fairy had thrown up all over it, with an unmistakable starburst insignia emblazoned on the front.

Shining cocked his head. “Hey, isn’t that-”

“My scrapbook of friendship memories!” Twilight remarked, returning with tray of biscuits. “I was wondering where I put it.”

Flash rotated the album in his hooves. “Mind if I take a look?”

“Sure, if you want to.” Twilight rubbed her forehooves together. “I don’t know why you would want to, though. It’s just a collection of old photos and trinkets though.”

Flash just smirked, opening the book.

Twilight smiled and squeezed in between Flash and Shining Armor.

The first couple pages were scenes from Twilight’s fillyhood. Twilight crouching inside a fort made of books. Twilight playing catch with her brother. Twilight asleep with her Smartypants doll.

Twilight’s cheeks reddened. “Can we please stop?” She pleaded, shrinking back into the couch. “This is embarrassing.”

Cadance gave her a reassuring smile. “Everypony has a few memories that embarrass them, right Shining?”

“Huh?” Shining said.

“You know, like last week?”

“No,” Shining replied a little too quickly, “I don’t remember anything embarrassing from last week.”

“Of course you remember! When we went and bought those schoolgirl outfits, and-“

“Nope,” he said through gritted teeth, “I don’t remember that at all. And neither do you.”

“Oh! Uh, hey, there’s more stuff over here in the photo album.” Twilight said, turning the page. “Let’s, uh, let’s talk about this, and not, uh, whatever the heck you guys were just talking about.”

“Oh,” Flash said, “It’s a picture of Princess Celestia.”

“Yeah,” Twilight said, “I got her to sign this picture when I first enrolled in her school.”

“Why is it so big?” Cadence asked. “It covers the whole page.”

“I know, right? She doesn’t usually give out big headshots like this, but she did it as a special favor for her most faithful student. See?”

The inscription read, “For my most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”

They turned the page. More pictures of Celestia. One of filly Twilight and Celestia posing together in the Astronomy tower, a pained expression on Celestia’s face. Celestia giving a lecture at the front of a classroom in Canterlot. A blurry shot of Celestia with an annoyed expression on her face, her hoof stretched out to cover the camera lens.

“Whoa,” Flash said, “What’s the deal with that last one?”

“Oh, that. Uh, Celestia didn’t like me taking so many pictures of her in class. She said it was a distraction. Which is why I had to get creative.”

They turned the page.Celestia at the beach eating a chocolate banana. Celestia coming out of the shower. Celestia rubbing sponge cake all over her body, an look of ecstasy on her face.

Shining’s eyes bulged at the sight of these candid photos of their dear leader, a pit forming in his stomach.

“Yikes,” came Flash’s voice from the other side of the couch, but Twilight didn’t seem to notice.

A sudden and painful jab in Shining’s ribs. “Did you know about any of this?!” Cadence hissed in his ear.

“No,” he turned, “I had no idea!” Shining Armor glanced nervously back at Flash and Twilight.

“How did you even get these?” Flash asked.

“Oh, you know, a camera I got for my birthday.” Twilight waved her hoof in the air.

“Well, yeah, I figured,” Flash said. “I meant the candids.”

“Oh that was easy. You’d be surprised at how many stealth spells there are in the library’s Restricted section.”

Flash blinked twice then turned. “Does the Princess know about this?”

“No, but I don’t think she’d mind.” Twilight’s expression brightened, a manic smile appearing on her face. “In fact, Princess Celestia would be impressed that I learned those spells at such a young age. She’d probably hire me on as a professor at her school. Maybe I’ll even get tenure.”

“If you say so,” Flash said. The next page hosted more candid shots of Princess Celestia along with a memento, a living, writhing swatch a of pink, green, and blue cotton candy-like substance, just barely held in place by peeling tape. Flash’s jaw dropped. “Is that… Princess Celestia’s tail?”

“Yeah,” Twilight sighed wistfully. “There’s a funny story behind it. The first time I tried to cut off a snippet my scissors passed right through. Most ponies think the Princesses’ tails are just enchanted to look like that but it turns out they are really ethereal. It was challenging to find something that could cut it. Eventually, after many more long weeks in the Restricted section, I created a cutting charm and cast it on some scissors. So when Princess Celestia was asleep, I went into her chambers and cut a piece off for myself.”

She rose from the couch. “Now that I think about it, those scissors are probably upstairs in my study. I’ll be right back. You’ve got to seen them for yourself. You’ll be surprised how sharp they’ve stayed over the years.”

“Sure.” Flash gave her a stiff nod. When her back was turned, he looked over at Shining. Flash’s eyes were screaming.

Shining could only muster a weak smile of reassurance.

As Twilight climbed the first step, the faint whistling of a tea kettle rang out from the kitchen.

“Oh! I, uh, actually I just remembered something incredibly important!” Flash declared, shutting the scrapbook and springing up from the couch. “The conductor wanted to me to, uh, do a security sweep. Yeah. Have to, uh, have to make sure the train is safe.” He swiftly donned his helmet and bowed to the present royalty. “Twilight, thank you for having me over. Captain, Princess Cadance, I’ll see you at the station.”

Twilight frowned slightly. “Are you sure you can’t stick around for the tea?”

“Duty calls!” He executed a hasty about-face, then cantered to the exit without sparing a glance back.

As the castle’s doors closed, a dull thud resonated throughout the foyer. Twilight lowered her gaze to the floor. A frown tugged at corners of her mouth. “Well, that was… unfortunate.” She then turned to Cadance and Shining Armor. “Anyway, what kind of tea do you want?”

“Now I remember,” Shining Armor groaned. “You should be glad I was able to talk Cadance down.”

“Talk Cadance down from what?”

“You know. Casting a love spell on you two.”

A look of horror dawned on Flash’s face. “No! No no no no no!”

“I know, that’s what I said. ‘No love spells on close friends or family. No exceptions’. It almost didn’t work. You know how she gets.”

“No!” Flash shouted. “I don’t know how she gets!”

Shining’s voice raised an octave. “’Come on, Shining. You know you want to Shining. Do I have to break out the whip, Shining? Don’t make me put that schoolgirl outfit on you, Shining.’”

Flash’s eyes and mouth widened further. “What the buck am I hearing!?”

Shining blinked. “I dunno. A loving relationship between two consenting adults.”

“But it’s just so… weird.”

Shining shrugged. “If you say so.”

“Hm. Well, I guess you did me a solid keeping me from getting involved with that level of crazy.”

“What do you mean?”

“If I ever got with your sister, I’d be going against the advice Pa Sentry gave me every time I’d leave the house. Did I ever tell you about that?”

“No,” Shining replied slowly. “What did he tell you?”

Flash shifted back to his haunches. “Boy!” he said affecting an Appleloosan accent, “I say, boy! Don’t you go stickin’ yer pecker in crazy, y’hear? Don’t you ever go stickin’ that there pecker a’ yours in crazy!” Flash assumed his original pose and accent. “And you know what, I never did.”

Shining leaned back into the couch, his expression warping into one of shock. “How old were you when he told you that?”

“That doesn’t matter,” Flash said with a dismissive wave. “You’ve met my Pa, right?”

“Of course, Splash Sentry. The Old Warhorse. Hero of the Whinnyapolis Disaster.”

“You remember his wings? How they got all those scars on ‘em?” Flash asked, gesturing to his own wings.

“Yeah. From his fateful battle with that shark,” Shining said matter-of-factly.

“Shark don’t do that kind of damage.” Flash slipped back into his Appleloosa twang. Despite only using it in his youth, he now found it difficult to fully drop the affect. “Those scars came from a mare.”

Shining blinked. “A mare?”

Flash nodded grimly. “The way Pa tells it, it happened while he was on shore leave in Baltimare. Pa was at a bar with his drinking buddies when she walked in the room. One thing lead to another and they ended up shacking up for the night. Then things went sour. Pa had to set sail in the morning and she didn’t take too kindly to that. He tried letting her down gently but then the machete came out and-”

“Hold on,” Shining held out his hoof. “A machete?! Why did she have a machete?”

“Well, that’s the thing. Turns out she was part of some expedition to the Tenochtitlan Basin and got separated from her team. Apparently, it left her with abandonment issues but I don’t know. The way Pa tells it, she was just crazier than a shithouse rat.” Flash shrugged. “Anyway, she chased Pa around the room and got some licks in. He had to jump through the window to escape. Pa didn’t stop running ‘til he reached the Whinnyapolis where the docs patched him up. Pretty sure ya know the rest.”

Shining shifted awkwardly on the couch. His mouth opened and closed several times but nothing came out. He looked down at the floor then back to Flash. “So,” he began, turning the words carefully, “you’re not interested in my sister anymore…”

“Yeah,” Flash replied, his voice returning to normal. “That’s the long and short of it.”

“Damn,” Shining said. “Welp, I’m gonna hit the hay. Busy day ahead of me and all that. Gotta get up bright and early.”

Flash couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of those words. “You’re planning to wake up on time?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” Shining shot him a puzzled look. “I’ve only had a few drinks. I’m not even buzzed.”

“A few drinks?” Flash scoffed. “I hate to see what it takes to get you plastered.”

“What’s so funny? Look, I only drank from a few bottles…” Shining’s eyes widened as his gaze swept across the table. “Oh. Guess I went a little overboard.”

“Yeah.”

“You know that I’ll pay you back, right?” Shining asked, embarrassment palpable in his voice.

“Don’t worry about it. I rarely have the time to drink anyway,” Flash remarked, his body sliding off the backrest and crashing onto his pillow. He threw the blanket over his head with his dregs of strength. “G’Night Captain.”

“Night, Flash.” A rose-colored magical aura enveloped the light switch and flicked it off. Darkness swallowed the room as the magical glow dissipated. After finally hearing Shining’s head hit the armrest, Flash let out a sigh and drifted off to sleep.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, Discord gazed at mirror portal. His painstaking work was about bare fruit. A myriad of wires, bolts, and ruined tools littered the surrounding floor. All that remained inside the gutted device was metallic cube supported by a network of pipes.

Discord glanced down at the tome then back to the portal. The power core was finally within reach. As he ran his paw over the cube, a stinging cold raced up his arm. “Orichalcum? What could possibly need that level of insulation?”

Cocking his head, Discord noticed a gap in the cube’s welding. He flashed an excited grin and jammed a crowbar into the opening. The cube creaked and groaned as the front panel was violently pried off.

“Let’s see what’s behind door number three!” Discord growled, his arms burning from exertion.

Brilliant purple light flooded the laboratory as the panel clattered to the floor. The overhead lights flickered wildly before shattering. Discord stumbled back then conjured a pair of tinted goggles.

Shielded from the brightness, the source was revealed to be a crystalline orb no larger than an apricot. Discord blinked, unable to believe his own eyes. “No, that can’t be right…” The blood drained from Discord’s face. “I haven’t seen one of those things in eons…How did it end up here?”

As he stared dumbfounded, the missing puzzle piece finally fell into place. “It all makes sense now,” Discord chuckled disbelievingly. “I always knew something was strange about this thing. Genius or not, there was no way Starswirl should have been able to pierce a dimensional boundary. No mortal should have, and now I know why.”

Discord frowned. The spectre of doubt loomed over Discord. The answer was undeniably clear yet it seemed too unreal. “There’s only one way to be sure,” Discord muttered, peeling off his gloves. He marched up to portal and paused. A bead of sweat trailed down his cheek.

Casting apprehension aside, Discord thrust out his claw and grasped the orb.

Discord instantly felt his body become weightless. The laboratory and all of its equipment crumbled away as an inky void swallowed him whole. Discord floated through the infinite expanse with only distant glimmers for company.

Then, everything came rushing back after a mere second. Discord blinked then looked around the lab in a stupor.

“It’s definitely the real thing…” he mumbled, leaning against the wall. A triumphant smile spread across Discord’s face as he gazed down at the orb.

Things are about become a lot more interesting.

Wonderbolt Time

The sun beat down on Fluttershy’s back and face, and the heat only seemed to get worse by the minute. She felt the smile that had been so well-worn the day before starting to slip as she trotted alongside Rarity down cobblestone streets. When they’d arrived at the Flower Show, the flower arrangements, the intricate displays, and sheer volume of vendors hawking their wares had left her breathless. That was yesterday. Now that sense of wonder was melting under the Fillydelphia heat.

Overburdened saddlebags further compounded her discomfort. After an hour of walking through unfamiliar locales, it had become unbearable. “Um, Rarity, I don’t mean to be rude but, do you have any idea where we’re going?”

“Of course I do darling!” Rarity declared. “You’ll see shortly.”

Blocks of ivied buildings came into view as Fluttershy and Rarity continued over a bridge. Brick construction and eclectic styles stood out against the brutalist cityscape. Prominent among them was a stadium located at the district’s edge. Banners adorned with a key insignia were draped over its exterior.

Fluttershy cocked her head. Where have I seen that logo before? Upon passing the statue of a portly stallion in bifocals, the answer became clear. “Rarity, what are we doing at the Academy of Fillydelphia?”

“Oh, whatever do you mean?” Rarity turned to her with a puzzled expression. “They’re hosting the Wonderbolts show, and you wouldn’t want to miss it now, would you?”

Fluttershy scrunched her wings. “Um… well, you see…”

“If you’re worried about walking to another train station, there’s no need. There’s one located just across from the stadium.”
Fluttershy took a deep breath, her brows furrowing. “You never said anything about a Wonderbolts show.”

Rarity stopped dead in her tracks. “I didn’t?”

Fluttershy shook her head.

“Oh…oh, dear.” Rarity looked askance, then rubbed her foreleg. “Well…last week, I was having lunch with Fancy Pants when he offered me two VIP tickets. He told me there was an important meeting he couldn’t miss. I thought it would be such a shame to waste them.” She forced a smile.

Fluttershy sighed. After their trek through the city heat, she wanted nothing more than to return to her animals. Come on. Just say no. But she couldn’t. That word died in her throat at the thought of rebuking Rarity so harshly. “Oh fine…”

“Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Rarity pulled her into a quick hug, then pulled away, trotting ahead. “I’ll make it up to you later. Now, let’s pick up the pace. We’re almost there!”

Fluttershy’s wings hung limp at her sides. She knew the stadium was only a few blocks away, but it felt like miles. Every minute out in the open, under the summer sun sapped her scarce remaining strength. Oh… Why didn’t I just say no? We could’ve just gone to the station. Each step was accompanied by a labored breath.

Approaching the stadium entrance, she felt a pleasant breeze wash over her. Startled, she looked up at the sky. A cloud burst into fluff without warning. Who would be flying in this weather? But the thought evaporated before she could examine it further. Focusing on anything in the oppressive heat proved impossible.

After navigating through the crowded hallways, Fluttershy and Rarity found themselves at a corridor blocked off by velvet rope. Portraits lined its walls, and scattered among the assorted faces were Fancy Pants and Spitfire. At the end of the corridor was an ornate door, guarded by a bald stallion wearing a black suit and sunglasses. Smiling, Rarity reached into her saddlebags and flashed a pair of gilded tickets. The stallion nodded then unhooked the rope. “Right this way, Miss. The elevator will take you the VIP level.”

The elevator doors opened on another empty portrait-lined hallway. Rarity harrumphed. “Well, this is hardly the view I was expecting.” She glanced over at Fluttershy. “But, of course, this is just the hallway to the box. I’m sure those accommodations will be much more inviting,” she quickly backpedaled.

After a quick and fruitful search, they arrived at the door indicated by the suite number on their ticket, and, entering, were met with a glass box, stylishly decorated. On one wall was the school crest, under which was a minibar well-stocked. Near the window was a sectional couch arranged in a semicircle. Just outside was also a row of private stands, although it appeared that at least on the VIP level, few ponies dared brave the heat.

Rarity flopped onto the couch and pulled out her sketchbook. Settling on a cushion next to her, Fluttershy’s eyes scanned the crowds. The stands were packed to capacity. Foals and fillies vibrated with excitement as parents returned bearing snacks. Vendors loaded with merchandise marched up and down the aisles. Newsponies leaned over the guardrail, their cameras trained on the player tunnel. Security monitored the crowds from their posts near the entrance. All the usual suspects that Fluttershy had come to know from a Wonderbolts show. She glanced up at the commentators’ box. That octopus looks really excited. She then looked down at the field as the groundskeeper completed his final inspection.

It took a minute for the realization to hit Fluttershy. Wait a minute! Octopus?! Her gaze snapped back to the commentator’s box. There was the octopus. She shook her head and blinked, hoping to dispel the obvious mirage.
However, the octopus was still there. It happily munched on a bag of popcorn, unnoticed by countless ponies milling about the stands. As she looked closer, its bizarre nature came to light. It sat upright and wore a graduation gown with a tiny cap atop its head. A backpack and several books laid by its right side. A mountain of stadium concessions rested on its left. Unease washed over Fluttershy. What even is that thing?

After flipping through one of its books, the octopus swept its gaze across the stadium. Fluttershy cocked her head. Huh, I wonder what its looking for? She received her answer when their eyes met. An eternity seemed to pass in that second. The octopus then waved to her. Fluttershy’s blood ran cold. She reached over and violently shook Rarity without losing sight of the octopus. “Um, Rarity, I think we might have a problem! It’s staring right at us!”

Rarity stifled a groan as her glasses clattered to the floor. She put down her sketchbook then scanned the stadium, her mouth curling into a frown. “Who are you talking about? I don’t see anything out of the ordinary.”

“What do you mean?!” Fluttershy shrieked, jabbing a hoof at the commentators’ box. “The octopus! It’s right there!”

“Fluttershy, are feeling alright?” Rarity asked in a slow, deliberate tone. Her eyes brimmed with concern.

Fluttershy felt her heart sink. I couldn’t be… Looking back across the stadium, her fears were confirmed. “H-How?” It had only been for a split-second yet, somehow, the octopus had vanished. In fact, all of its belongings were also gone. Try as she might, Fluttershy couldn’t find any trace of its presence left. It was like the octopus never existed at all. “B-But it was right there.” Fluttershy’s leg fell limply to her side. “You believe me, right, Rarity?”

“Oh, Fluttershy, your eyes just playing tricks on you. I mean, really, how would an octopus even get here?” Rarity placed a hoof on her forehead. “Fluttershy, you’re burning up. You probably dehydrated from the walk here,” she said, igniting her horn. A glass of water then floated across the room and set itself down on the table. “Drink this. You’ll feel better.”

As Fluttershy stared at the water, she was met by the crazed eyes of her reflection. The blood had drained from her face. Her legs trembled. Her mane dripped with sweat. Was I really just imagining things? It felt so real. Fluttershy closed her eyes, exhaled, then gulped down the water. The relief was instantaneous. A quick glance at the stadium brought a weak smile to her face. The octopus hadn’t returned. I guess it really was a mirage. As the anxiety faded, a new feeling surfaced. A deep red stained Fluttershy’s muzzle. “Rarity, I’m so sorry for making you worry like that! I just don’t know what came over me and-”

Rarity held out a hoof and smiled. “Fluttershy, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all have our…episodes,” she chuckled sheepishly. “I’ve certainly had my fair share.”

Fluttershy jumped in her seat as the stadium’s speakers hummed to life. A raspy voice spoke, “Ladies and Gentlecolts, thank you for joining us here in beautiful Fillydelphia! With no further ado, let’s start the show!” A bombastic tune filled the stadium, fueling the crowd’s anticipation. Hundreds of eyes were drawn to the player tunnel. Excitement was palpable in the air. Moments later, a fiery mane emerged from the darkness. Cheers and applause shook the stadium as Spitfire and the other Wonderbolts sauntered onto centerfield.

“See, Fluttershy. No need to worry.” Rarity gestured to the field. “Now, let’s relax and enjoy the show. We still have the long train ride to Ponyville ahead of us.”

“Right.” Fluttershy said, reclining against the backrest. The Wonderbolts began spiraling around the stadium’s edge. Half flew in the reverse direction. The formation gradually narrowed until mere inches separated them disaster. The crowd leaned forward with bated breath. When collision seemed inevitable, the Wonderbolts pulled up at the last instant to everypony’s delight and relief.

However, Fluttershy couldn’t fully lose herself in the aerial spectacle. A seed of doubt in the back of her mind began to germinate. The image of that octopus refused to vanish. She frowned. Something’s not right.

While the crowd was captivated by the show, Korosensei’s gaze scanned the city’s skyline, visible from the VIP boxes. A lone figure stood atop the city hall. He inhaled then waited for the inevitable muzzle flash. Minutes passed.

Perplexed, he reexamined the figure, then let out a chuckle. “Silly me, that’s just a statue.” He turned his attention to the Wonderbolts passing overhead. “It’s nice being able to watch something without worrying about snipers.”

A surge of wind buffeted Korosensei, knocking the bucket of popcorn out of his tentacles. He gathered up the loose kernels in time to catch the two fliers accelerating toward each other. Aileron rolls performed at the last instant prevented their crash. Korosensei then leaned back as whole team pulled into a steep climb. “It never occurred to me how much work went into flying,” Korosensei remarked, shielding his eyes from the sun. It was an odd paradox to ponder since flight was his primary travel method. Yet, it was rarely given much consideration until he witnessed the speed and finesse of their choreography. The crowd roared with delight as the fliers ascended above the stadium. Wings snapped shut as they reached their apex. They plummeted for a moment before transitioning into synchronous tail-slides.

In spite of the aerobatic prowess on display, Korosensei couldn’t ignore one particular bothersome thought. “How are they able to fly?”

That quandary had plagued Korosensei since arriving in Equestria. Magic was involved, that was clear from the books he’d read at Discord’s house, but they didn’t provide an answer for everything. How much of flying depended on magic? How much on physical strength? How could pegasi achieve lift without hollow bones? How do their bodies tolerate the forces active during flight? He munched the last of his popcorn while those questions bounced around his head.
Another cheer erupted from the crowd and Korosensei felt a rush of nostalgia, his mind drifting back to the first days of class. “Hard to believe the school year is almost done.” He sighed wistfully, “It feels like only yesterday that I was helping Sugino with baseball.” He then bolted upright. “Wait, that’s it! What better way to learn about pegasi flight than examining the best fliers in Equestria up close.”

Korosensei packed up his belongings and glided to the VIP box’s edge, peering down the field. A pair of Wonderbolts were catching their breaths while their teammates entertained the crowd. What fortuitous timing. Body tensed, Korosensei was prepared to swoop in when something caught his attention. Fillies clamored around the guardrail and waved at their idols, eyes shining with joy. Hesitation stabbed at Korosensei’s heart, forcing him to step back. The prospect of crashing the show suddenly lost its appeal. Still, when will I have a chance like this again? He rubbed his non-existent chin, vexed.

The loudspeaker’s squeaky hum interrupted Korosensei’s musing. “Ladies and gentlecolts, we hoped you enjoyed the show! Now, brace yourselves for the grand finale!” The music swelled and climbed to a crescendo, barely drowning out the crowd’s adulation. All eyes fell on the pair of Wonderbolts trotting to center field. They grinned, nodded to each other, then rocketed upward in a burst of azure smoke.

“I suppose I can wait a few more minutes,” Korosensei said, gazing on the ocean of joyous faces in the stands. “Besides, it would have been rude of me to interrupt.”

After pulling up out of their final trick, the Wonderbolts alighted on the field to thunderous adulation of their fans. Peals of cheering and applause shook the stadium down to its foundation. Fluttershy groaned, ears flattening against her head. She shut her eyes in anticipation of the impending wall of sound. It soon filtered into the room though not how she had expected it. Wait, that’s it? Instead of a deafening roar, all Fluttershy heard were the mini-bar’s contents clinking against each other. “Huh, I didn’t expect this place to be so…quiet.”

“The wonders of box seating, darling. I expected nothing less since Fancy Pants was involved.” Rarity took a sip of water then turned to Fluttershy, smiling. “Now, aren’t you glad we stayed for the show?”

That grin soon withered under Fluttershy’s humorless stare. Rarity squirmed in her seat until she noticed a tiny smirk upon Fluttershy’s face. She blinked then frowned as Fluttershy began to snicker. “Ha. Ha. Very funny. I can see that Discord is rubbing off on you.”

“Yeah, I guess you can say that,” Fluttershy said, wiping a tear away, “but I really did enjoy the show.” A smile crept onto her face. Without the cheer-induced migraine, she finally understood why Rainbow Dash had dragged her to so many shows. There was something about the aesthetic beauty of flight which transcended social boundaries and infused the air with an infectious glee. She let out a contented sigh as warmth washed over her.

That feeling lasted only for a few seconds before yellow tentacles sprouted from the ground. Fluttershy felt her legs go numb as the room crumbled away and fear swallowed her whole. It was impossible to deny what her eyes were witnessing. The octopus is real.

Its tentacles burst out of centerfield as the Wonderbolts waved to their fans, showering the stands with dirt. All cheering and jubilation died with a strangled croak. Concessions and fan memorabilia slipped out of their owners’ hoofs. The loudspeakers emitted a harsh screech before cutting out. The Wonderbolts blinked then glanced over their shoulders and froze. Everypony in the stadium held their collective breathes while tentacles stretched toward the sky.

Groping blindly around the stadium, the tentacles probed and inspected every piece of the stadium’s architecture. A miasma of fear and anticipation hung over the crowd. Ponies fidgeted in their seats and huddled together as the slimy appendages crept ever closer. Terror was evident on their faces yet nopony dared to attempt escape, lest it attract unwanted attention to themselves.

The dam finally broke when a tentacle slithered toward the private stands and a lone scream unleashed seven minutes of bottled-up dread. Terrified yells inundated the air as the once cheerful crowd devolved into a terrified mob.

The tentacles perked up before descending upon the crowd with blinding speed. The Wonderbolts scrambled to action, batting away the tentacles while their fans evacuated. Pegasi leapt from their seats and flew over stadium’s edge. Several unicorns vanished in bursts of light while others joined the earth ponies stampeding toward the nearest exit. Event staff tried to preserve some small degree of order, but were swiftly overrun and swept away by the panicked masses.

High above the stands, Fluttershy watched in horror as ponies scrambled over each other. All traces of that comfortable warmth had vanished. Every fiber of her being screamed for Fluttershy to escape yet she was unable to move her limbs. Fear anchored her to the couch. I knew it! It’s real! That octopus is real!. Those word bounced throughout her mind until a tiny detail jumped to the forefront. A pit formed in her stomach as images of the creature waving to her flashed before her eyes. Wait… It knows where I am! I have to get out of here! She mustered her strength and clapped a hoof on Rarity’s shoulder, her voice strained. “Rarity, we need to get out of here. Now.”

There was no response from Rarity, her gaze fixated on the tentacles. Crimson tinged her muzzle. A strand of drool hung from her slacken jaw. An expression that had become an infuriatingly recurrent sight to Fluttershy. “You cannot be serious.” She scowled, gripping Rarity’s other shoulder and shaking her. “Come on, snap out of it! Now’s not the time for one of your fantasies!”

“W-W-What?!” Rarity shrieked, recoiling from the accusation. “H-How can you say something like that, Fluttershy? I wasn’t fantasizing or anything of the sort. I was simply, uh-”

“Rarity, look!”

As quick as the tentacles had appeared, there too came a shadow intruding into their sanctum. Seconds felt like hours as Rarity and Fluttershy stared up at that thing in the window. But then Fluttershy’s vision focused. Wait… Is that…

“Soarin!” Rarity shouted, making the connection instantly.

The Wonderbolt vice-captain shot them a grin, “Don’t worry, ladies. I’ll have you out of there in a-“

THONK! A sudden impact rocked the box as Soarin collided with the plate glass window. Fluttershy nearly leapt out her skin as the structure around her shuddered. All of Rarity’s enthusiasm vanished, instantly replaced by dread as the glass cracked into spiderwebs.

You know, for all that flying prowess, those Wonderbolts sure are useless.

Soarin let out a groan. Peeling his body off the glass, he floundered in the air before regaining equilibrium. He massaged his head and looked around the stadium, settling on Fluttershy and Rarity’s deflated stares. His cheeks reddened and he began gesticulating at them, but his frantic attempt at a pantomimed explanation was cut short when a tentacle snared his hind leg. A shrill yelp escaped his throat in the split-second before he was yanked out of sight.

“So.” Rarity cleared her throat as she climbed off the couch. “We’d best be heading to the station. We, ah, wouldn’t want to miss our train, right?”

Fluttershy gave a wry smile. “Right.”

Spitfire’s eye twitched. Of all the days for something to happen, why did it have to be TODAY?. She sighed, slumping against the stadium wall. No point in getting angry. Nothing to be done. Deliberately averting her gaze from the madness that had descended upon the stadium, but her willful ignorance was broken as her vice-captain sped in front of her, pursued by tentacles.

“Bad Touch! BAD TOUCH!” Soarin screamed, flapping his wings with all his might. Not that it mattered to the tentacle which had snared his hind leg. It slowly reeled him in while the other tentacles lay in waiting.

As the tentacles descended upon Soarin, Spitfire’s mind wandered. And here I thought having the magic sucked out of us by a megalomaniacal centaur was the worst thing that ever happened to the Wonderbolts. She shrugged. Who among us knows what the future holds.

“There you are captain!” a voice called out, knocking Spitfire from her reverie. She straightened her posture as Fleetfoot landed nearby. “Here to report that the stadium has been successfully evacuated.”

A flurry of shutter clicks caught their attention. Spitfire and Fleetfoot peered over the guardrail to discover a small army of photographers occupying the stands. Oblivious to their presence, the paparazzi scurried about, searching for that perfect angle.

“I swear those guys weren’t there a minute ago!” Fleetfoot shouted over the din, “Want me to send these culture vultures packing?”

“Don’t bother,” Spitfire said with a dismissive wave. “Let them have their fun.” Besides, She thought, It’s not like they’d stay gone. Once they smell fresh kill, they’re hard to get rid of.

“Then I’ll go get the others so we can save Soarin.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

Fleetfoot gasped. “What are you talking about Captain?”

Spitfire grimaced. “All we can do is stand here and wait this mess out.”

“What?! ” She stomped her hoof. “He’s our teammate! We pledged our loyalty to each other! We said we’d always have each others’ backs!”

Spitfire thought back to the numerous times she recited the pledge. Right. That stupid thing. “Yes, that’s true. However, there are a few exceptions.” Her grimace intensified. “And tentacles are one of them.”

“No offense Captain but what kind of bucking excuse is that?!”

Spitfire cocked an eyebrow.

“Our comrade is up there fighting against those tentacles and you expect me to just stand here and do nothing?!”

“Worse Touch! WORSE TOUCH!” Soarin blazed past them again, the tentacles now fully engulfing both hind legs.

Spitfire looked Fleetfoot dead in the eye. “Listen, I’ve read enough hentai to know where this is going and I want no part of it. But if you’re so gung-ho about saving him, be my guest! Just don’t come crying to me when pictures of you and those tentacles show up in every newspaper in Equestria.”

Fleetfoot opened her mouth but no words came out. She turned her head and froze. Her gaze darted between Soarin, the tentacles, and the paparazzi scurrying about the stands. “A-actually, you may have a point there,” she said, her fiery resolve reduced to embers.

“I’m glad you see it my way.” Spitfire breathed a sigh of relief. Then she smiled. “Besides, it’s Soarin. He’ll be fine.” She turned her head and shouted, “Right, Soarin?”

“WORST TOUCH!” Soarin was stopped in his tracks, his body fully engulfed in tentacles. “WORST TOUCH IMAGINABLE!” Without warning, the tentacles released their grip and vanished. Soarin hung in the air for a moment, then plummeted to the stadium floor. A dull thud resonated throughout stadium.

Groaning, he opened his eyes to see Fleetfoot and Spitfire standing over him. “C-captain,” he sighed. “Did I do good?”

“Sure,” she said, offering a helping hoof, “You did great. Thanks for taking one for the team.” She turned to Fleetfoot, “See? Everything sorted itself out and nopony else had to get felt up by tentacles.”

Suddenly, a pair of tentacles erupted out of the ground. All three ponies immediately leapt away. Soarin sprinted away only for the tentacles to cut him off at each turn, bursting out of the ground at each point. “What now?”

“I think they want your autograph!” Fleetfoot shouted from a safe distance.

Soarin stopped, as did the tentacles. His eye began to twitch. “Oh, is that so? Fine. I’ll give them an autograph alright,” he growled. Grabbing the pen with his teeth, he furiously scribbled something onto the page then spat it out. “How’s that for an autograph?!”

Spitfire craned her neck to the side and read the inscription aloud, “Buck you, Tentacles?”

Seemingly appeased, the tentacles retreated along with the autograph book. Soarin paused and scanned the area. His gaze darted between the numerous holes littering the field. After a minute, he relaxed then turned to the player tunnel. “Now, if you don’t mind Captain, I’ll be taking a long pie break.”

As Soarin began walking, the stadium manager bolted onto the field. He skidded to a halt in front of the assembled Wonderbolts, his eyes wild and frantic. Splotches of dirt marred his suit. Sweat dripped from his brow. “Captain Spitfire! Vice-Captain Soarin! Something terrible has happened!”

“Unless it has something to do with my pies, I don’t care,” Soarin said, pushing past the stallion without a second glance.

“Well, um, t-that’s the thing,” the manager stammered. “All of the pies are gone…”

Soarin whirled around and him eye-to-eye, a mere inch separating their faces. He loomed over the quivering unicorn, raising a hoof. “If this is a joke, I swear, I’ll-”

“I’m not! I swear it!” The manager squealed, shielding his face.

Spitfire jumped between the two and forced her vice-captain back. “Soarin! Have you lost your bucking mind?!” she hissed. “Think about your surroundings!” A second later and the manager’s bloody face would be all over the front page of every newspaper in Equestria.

“That’s impossible!” Soarin barked. “There were forty pies! Forty! That’s as many as four tens!”

“Yes, Soarin, we know basic multiplication.” She turned to the manager. “How is that even possible?”

“I-I don’t know. It all happened so quickly.” The manager wiped his face with a handkerchief. “I was in the cafeteria, chatting with security when a gust knocked us over. By the time we got up, everything was gone.”

“You’ve must have seen something! Did you check the cameras?”

“That’s when it gets strange. Looking back at the footage, the pies are there in one frame, then a yellow blur, and the pies are gone in the next.”

Soarin fell to his haunches. He threw back his head and howled, “NOOOOOOOOOOO!”

A fresh peal of shutter clicks echoed throughout the stadium. As Sptifire shook her head, something curious caught her attention. A yellow blip lanced across the sky, disrupting clouds in its wake. “Just what in Equestria is going on?” Spitfire muttered aloud.

She glanced back to Soarin who had collapsed to the ground, his vacant eyes staring into the distance. Fleetfoot poked him a few times but there was no visible response. Spitfire sighed and trudged back to the locker room. “The Princess should probably know about this.”

“I’m sorry could you repeat that?”

“It’s simple. We’re gonna build a wall. And the griffons are gonna pay for it,” Golden Towers declared, his mane stock still amid his wild gesticulations.

Princess Celestia stared back at orange stallion. No matter how much she listened, she couldn’t determine his motive. “How?”

“Tariffs.”

Celestia’s snout wrinkled as an acrid smell assailed her nostrils. “Does anypony else here smell burning toast?” Celestia scanned the debate hall. “No? Just me?” Noticing discomfort among the council members, she glanced over to the eastern window. Plumes of inky smoke billowed from a nearby building. Just another bakery fire in this burnt-out burg. She turned back to Golden Towers, her face setting into a scowl black as the smoke on the horizon. “Even if I were stroking out, which I definitely am not, I can say with diamond-clarity that is the single worst idea I’ve heard in my entire thousand year reign.”

Normally, that would have ended the debate. Innumerable ponies had stood before this throne and proposed ideas ranging from merely stupid to outright insane. All had been cut down by a few harsh words. While some had realized their mistake and other voiced their disagreement, they all would eventually acquiesce. It was inconceivable for anypony to question the wisdom of Celestia, Eternal Princess of the Iron Throne of Canterlot, Bringer of Peace and Harmony, Vanquisher of All Things Discordant.

However, Golden Towers seemed to hold all norms in utter contempt. He sneered, bared his teeth, then launched into another rant. “You’re obviously ignoring the caravans of pimps and drug dealers that came streaming over the Mexicoltan border in the last six months alone. Folks, I’ve seen ‘em. They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing weapons. Some, I assume, are good ponies.”

Celestia blinked. “Caravans?” She thought a moment. What in Tartarus does he mean by Caravans? Then it dawned on her. She blinked. “You mean the traders?!” He grinned. “We give them our fruit crop and they bring us sugar!” Celestia pounded the throne’s armrest, her hoof crunching through the hardwood. “And cacao! And spices! And all the other things our entire cake-based economy needs in order to function!”

“Like it or not, Celestia, we will have our wall. Even if we have to shut down the government.” A chorus of elderly voices echoed that sentiment. Golden Towers’ smile only grew as he basked in their support.

Celestia flinched. Despair seeped into her bones. So he’s a moron…and others are actually supporting him…Why me? For the briefest moment, she considered just letting them have their stupid wall. Holding back the relentless march of idiocracy had proven agonizing over the centuries, especially for just one pony. Why should she suffer further? No! I did spend the last thousand years building this country from the ground up just to let these morons muck it up!

Mustering up her resolve, she exhaled sharply then turned to the assembly with her politest smile. “Do it. I dare you.”

Golden Towers smiled again. “All in favor?” A sea of raised hooves. “All opposed?” A single hoof shot up. An additional four joined with tepid enthusiasm.

Celestia smirked. “Alright, fine.” She removed her crown and flung it aside, eliciting a series of gasps. The pins and needles of long dormant hooves rushed into her limbs as she rose from the throne and stretched. The crushing weight of office was lifted from her shoulders. “I’ll just be taking my cakes and getting the buck out of here.”

As she skipped to the pedestal, the cakes vanished in a flash of yellow. Celestia paused, staring at empty plate. She slowly turned back to the assembly. “What did you do with my cakes?”

The crowd of legislators parted. Emerging from the shadows, an elderly unicorn shambled toward the lectern. Skin hung from his lanky frame like sodden cloth. The only part of him that was taut were his lips and his eyes shined like diamonds.

Celestia’s stomach lurched. “Legislative Block,” she growled under her breath.

“Princess Celestia,” he drawled. “According to our bylaws, you can’t have those cakes until the meeting is adjourned. And with the government shut down, none of us has the power to declare adjournment until we reconvene.”

Celestia’s smile faltered, albeit for a moment. “Well that’s fine. I’ll go the castle bakery and get something else then.”
“Not so fast!” Golden Towers shouted. “During a government shutdown, all non-essential functions within the castle also shut down.”

Block smirked. “That includes the castle bakery.”

Celestia shrugged, continuing toward the exit. “Okay then, it’s not like I have to go far to find another bakery. This is Canterlot after all. I’ll just leave the castle and-”

“Actually,” Legislative Block interjected, “It’s illegal for the princess to leave castle grounds during a shutdown.”

Celestia halted mid-stride, her hoof meeting the floor with a thunderous crack. Fissures radiated out across the marble surface. She slowly craned her neck around and glared at the old unicorn, eyes aglow with rage. “Since when?!”

Legislative Block blinked then reached into his suit and produced a stack of documents. “We approved this legislation three weeks ago. You signed off on it.”

Celestia tore the papers from his grasp and furiously poured over its contents. Her heart sunk upon reaching the seventh page. The clause was real, smuggled between some innocuous spending provisions. Bucking riders! Her seal and signature were undisputable on the final page. This is public health bill too. No way to have it voided without creating a PR nightmare.

Legislative Block’s jowls shook as his lips parted into a smile.

Hot acid filled her mouth and the flesh around her horn turned bright red. The vein on her forehead bulged as her blood pressure shot up several dozen points. Why you feckless, slimy mother- Celestia grit her teeth, then exhaled. “Fine then, let’s hash this out.”

“Sorry! No can do!” Golden Towers announced, barely disguised glee. “I’m going furniture shopping with Stormy Weather. It’s our monthly tradition and I wouldn’t want to keep her waiting. It’ll take all day so we’ll have resume tomorrow.” He shot Celestia a final smug grin before disappearing through the doorway.

When the last noble had shuffled out, Celestia let out an inarticulate howl. Her guards scrambled to the vestibule as she began to quake. A curtain of red bound her sight. She scanned the hall for an object sturdy enough to absorb her rage. A well-adorned Corinthian pillar imbedded in the back wall caught her eye, its granite masonry beckoning. Yes…That’ll have to do.

Rushing over, Celestia braced herself then slammed her head into the pillar. She struck it again and again and again. Stone fragments rained down with each blow. After a minute of bashing, the red had drained from her sight. She stepped back to assess the damage. A hole roughly the size of a volleyball now marred the pillar. A pang of regret stabbed at her heart. She personally knew the masons who built the debate hall, their descendants still lived in Canterlot. And she had just destroyed their artistry in a fit of anger. Placing a hoof on the wall, Celestia hung her head and sighed. What am I even doing anymore?

A hoof tapping on her shoulder disrupted her melancholy. Seized by anger, Celestia whirled around and shouted, “What?!”

Fancy Pants stood a mere foot away, unfazed by the outburst. He readjusted his monocle then held out a cushion with her crown resting atop it. “Even in trying times, it’s important that we maintain appearances,” he said with a wink.

Celestia begrudgingly accepted back her crown, but upon closer inspection the cushion was not in fact a cushion, but a velvet satchel. And inside of that was…

She looked back up to find Fancy Pants had already left. But why would he disobey the council?

A guard poked his head through the doorway. “Is it safe?”

Celestia hastily teleported the contraband-filled satchel to her chambers.

“Yes,” she sighed, “It’s safe.”

The guards resumed their posts at each flank. She smiled to herself. Perhaps Canterlot will burn another day.

Daring Time

A cloud of mosquitos swarmed Daring Do as she trekked through the underbrush. The mosquitos’ incessant buzz drowned out the jungle’s natural soundtrack. Sporadic bites at her neck and flank slowly eroded her patience, but her pace never slowed.

Can’t stop. I’ll be eaten alive if I do.

She gritted her teeth and soldiered on, hacking through the low-hanging vines with her machete.

Thirty minutes later, Daring found herself staring at a row of scarred trees.

Her eye twitched. “I’ve been walking in circles this whole time?!”

She hurled her machete at the ground.

“RAARGH! Of all the places, it had to be Cochuah! The only place in Mexicolt nopony ever bothered to map!” Her lungs burned from the muggy air, legs trembling under the growing weight of her saddlebags. She hastily unhooked her canteen and took a swig, only to feel a dribble hit her tongue.

The specter of unease loomed large as sweat dripped off her mane. No map, no compass, no water, and only a few hours of daylight.

A wry smile played across her face. “I’ll make it through this,” she muttered, “I always do…”

Daring’s ears perked up as a familiar sound pierced through the mosquitos’ buzz. The sound was faint, but unmistakable.

Fire.

Scanning the area, her eyes settled on a swathe of trees, shrouded in smoke. She smiled. Fire meant other ponies, and other ponies just might mean clean drinking water. That glimmer of hope was soon extinguished as she recalled past adventures. She grimaced, sheathing her machete before setting off.

“It’s not like I have any other options,” she grumbled.

Burning through her last reserves of strength, Daring broke free from the jungle’s suffocating grip and stumbled out of the underbrush. She gasped, fresh air rushing into her lungs for the first time since the morning. Her legs trembled. Each breath sent shudders throughout her body. With the evening sun peering over the canopy, Daring shielded her bleary eyes and looked for signs of life.

All that greeted her was a lonely bonfire. Reality, it seems, was a harsh mistress.
It lay in center of the clearing, ringed by limestone blocks. An iron trivet held a cauldron above a roaring flame. A foot from the fire, a canvas backpack sat atop a pair of logs. Various tools and vessels were scattered nearby, but Daring lacked the strength to care. None of those could solve the issue of her worsening dehydration.

As she struggled to think of her next move, a glint drew her gaze to the wooden bucket. A closer look revealed its contents shimmering in the meager sunlight.

Water…

She staggered forward, her body swaying with each step. Her forelegs gave way, just inches from the bucket. Too late. She gasped with the last bit of exertion.

The world slowly grew faint. Daring sighed and gazed up to the orange-tinged sky. The clouds drifted by as darkness closed in.

Daring Do’s final adventure will be one that Equestria never gets to read.The rustling of foliage snapped her back to reality. A figure slowly emerged from the treeline, its features obscured the shade, but its form totally un-equine.

“Hello there,” it said, “I wasn’t expecting to any visitors out here. You must’ve come a long way.”

Loud squelching rang out as it swept over the grass. Delirium gave way to panic as Daring’s heart threatened to beat out of her chest. Something was approaching her, and she had no recourse. All she could do was wait.

Once it had moved close enough to block out the sun, Daring was granted her first look at the creature. Her brain promptly short-circuited.

She propped up her body and blinked, unable to trust her eyes. However, the image neither changed nor faded. The creature just stood there to Daring’s utter bewilderment. A yellow octopus… wearing a pith helmet and khaki explorer garb. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.

As the mental haze dissipated, Daring struggled to rationalize what her eyes were seeing. Cryptids were nothing new. Years of exploring the outer wilds had pitted her against numerous creatures long thought to be fabrications of myth, her nemesis Ahuizotl chief among them. At this point in her adventuring career, Daring believed nothing could surprise her anymore.

This octopus proved her wrong. No matter how much she gaped, her brain refused to accept it. Nothing about the creature matched anything that she had studied. No legends. No artwork. Not even a clay figure. A foal’s drawing at the Baltimare Aquarium offered the closest parallel but that only raised further questions.

The octopus cocked his head, oblivious to her furious cerebrations. “Are you feeling alright?”

Daring blinked then met his gaze. “Just a little dehydrated,” she tried to say, but all that came out was a plaintive murmur.

“In that case,” - the octopus vanished for a second then reappeared in front her with a tin cup - “drink up.” Evidently, he understood anyway.

Daring snatched the cup and gulped down its soothing liquid without hesitation. Any reservations that she would have in other situations was smashed by her need for water. As relief coursed through her limbs, she once again glanced up at the octopus.

Well, he’s still there. Guess that rules out hallucination.

He loomed over her, smiling with an expectant look.

Seems friendly enough.

Daring sighed and dragged her body onto the log. “Do you mind if rest here for a bit? I normally wouldn’t impose, but--”

“Oh, it’s no problem at all,” the octopus said, moving the bucket closer to her. “Please, help yourself. You’re welcome to stay as long as need.”

Momentarily gaping in disbelief, Daring shook her head and composed herself. “Thanks…I appreciate it.”

The octopus gave a quick nod then turned his attention to the bubbling cauldron. Loosening her saddlebag’s strap, Daring let out a relieved sigh as the burden slid off her back. Muscles were finally granted a respite after trekking for hours. She removed her hat and wiped the sweat from her brow, never allowing the octopus to escape her sight. Despite his affability, experience had taught Daring not to trust that easily.

She watched as the octopus darted around the camp, alternating between a half-dozen different activities. Stoking the flames, writing in a journal, grinding something on stone mortar, stirring it into the cauldron, tidying up the scattered utensils, all with less than a second between each other. Before she had a chance to rationalize anything, the octopus had zipped to her side. An earthenware mug was held by his tentacles. A bittersweet aroma perfumed the air. “May I interest you in some cacao?”

Daring met the octopus’s gaze, furrowing her brow.

“There’s nothing wrong with it, I just thought you could use something other than water. Frankly, the jungle has left you looking a bit ragged.”

Daring opened her mouth to protest, but her arms had already seized the mug. She grit her teeth as her stomach audibly growled. The allure of cacao proved to be stronger than either her pride and reservations. “You really shouldn’t have,” she groused.

“I’d be a poor host indeed if I didn’t see to my guest’s needs?” The octopus rummaged through his backpack, pulling out some oranges and cutting them into slices. “It’s not much but this should help you get some strength back."

Daring stared at the brown concoction and scowled, taking a hesitant sip. Doubts began to melt away as the frothy liquid hit her tongue. The second sip confirmed it wasn’t some trick of the mind. It’s good…Really good. A little watery and not perfectly smooth, but neither distracted from the taste. Deep chocolate flavor, sweet yet nowhere near cloying, tied together with notes of spice and cinnamon. A far cry from what most ponies called hot chocolate.

After the third sip, half of the mug’s contents had vanished. A smile slowly crept across Daring’s face. “I haven’t real cacao like this in years.”

“I’m glad that you’re enjoying my creation. It was my attempt at recreating what the Mayapone kings would have drank centuries ago.”

Daring gasped. “You know about the Mayapone?”

“I was vaguely familiar with their history and culture before starting my job. When they appeared on the social studies curriculum, I did what I could to broaden my knowledge: Reviewing the literature, visiting museums, touring archeological sites, sampling the local cuisine.”

The octopus ladled some cacao into a mug then sat down besides her, gazing up at the twilit sky. The moon’s spectre hung above the tree line. “I can see why the Chairman decided to include them. What they accomplished without modern instruments is astounding.”

“An instructor that recognizes the importance of the Mayapone? Now that’s rare,” Daring chuckled bitterly. “Whenever I introduce the topic in class, most of my students just stare like I’m speaking old Equish.”

She angrily gulped down the rest of her cacao and slammed the cup against the log. Years of frustration erupted to the surface. “How ignorant can they be?! Even if you look past their achievements in mathematics and astronomy, they invented chocolate! Confections are the bedrock of our economy yet nopony knows who invented chocolate!” She shook her head. “I guess if it’s not related to Equestria’s founding, it’s not important enough to be taught in schools.”

The octopus nodded, “I never would have guessed you were a teacher.”

Daring stiffened as the realization hit her. Details about her civilian life had slipped out and the octopus was now looking at her expectantly. No point in dancing around it anymore.

She sighed and unhooked her canteen, dunking it into the water. “Well, adventuring doesn’t pay the bills. I was offered the job after completing my dissertation and it made sense at the time. First couple of years weren’t even that bad… Then problems started piling up. Students stopped doing the reading. Funding was slashed. Administrators arguing over what books I could assign.”

As the last bubble escaped the spout, she pulled out her canteen and stoppered it. “Not sure why I put up with them anyway. I have enough saved up to live comfortably and travel Equestria for a couple of years. Routine, I guess.”

The octopus flashed a sympathetic smile, specks of cacao and chili marring his teeth. “Teaching isn’t an easy job. It requires a special set of skills. And even then not everyone will enjoy it. I dabbled in teaching before my current job, but never professionally. Always as a means to an end. Then I met someone who opened my eyes to new possibilities.” He stared wistfully at the horizon. “I haven’t looked back since then.”

“Nice story, but it’s not going to change my mind. I have endured too much bullshit to suddenly enjoy teaching again. I really need to get back in the field.”

“Who said anything about changing your mind? I thought we were just having a conversation.”

“Yeah… you’re right.” Daring laughed, stress melting off her shoulders. “Thanks. I needed to get that off my chest. Can’t remember the last time I had a civil conversation with somepony else. Well, you’re a giant talking octopus but I’m not going to dwell on semantics.”

Noticing her smile reflected in the bucket, she felt a pang of guilt. “Are you sure that you’re okay with sharing so much of your water with me? All I can offer you is few bits and-”

“Oh, there’s no need to worry about that. I can easily get more if we run out.”

Daring whirled around and stared at the octopus, nearly giving herself whiplash in the process. Her eyes wide and disbelieving. “Where?! There isn’t a source of clean water for miles around. So, unless you somehow discovered a lake, I’m curious as to what this water source is.”

“Not a lake per say but something close enough. While collecting spices for the cacao, I almost fell into a massive sinkhole. To my surprise, the water was almost completely devoid of contaminants, so I sourced it for my cooking.” The octopus glided over to the cauldron and ladled more cacao into his mug. “It was a lucky discovery, otherwise I would be making repeated runs to the nearby village.”

“Sinkhole…” Daring muttered. Something about that word felt so familiar. Mulling over her knowledge of the Mayapone, the answer became obvious. “Oh, you mean a cenote. That is a lucky find.” When the revelation dawned on her a full minute later, Daring stiffened and spat out a mouthful of water. “Wait, a cenote?! You found a cenote?!”

“A cenote, that’s right. I should have made the connection after passing by those old structures.”

Daring ran up and grasped the octopus by his shoulders, shaking him frantically. “Tell me where it is! Right now! I need to know!”

The octopus staggered backwards, clutching his mug. “Um, straight that way,” He pointed to the tree line from which he had emerged. “No longer than a fifteen minute walk from here. I can guide you there but I don’t see what the rush is-”

“That’s all I needed to hear,” Daring said, donning her hat. She hastily slung her saddlebag atop her back and bolted into jungle. “Thanks for the company. Let’s meet again one day!”

“Wait! Hold on! You’re leaving already? Shouldn’t you rest a little longer? And what about the oranges?” The octopus cried out, his voice soon drowned out by the jungle’s ambience.

Now’s not the time to be sentimental. I have to see those ruins for myself.

Daring shook off her inhibitions and sprinted deeper into the underbrush despite her better judgement. Experience had taught her not to blindly chase leads, but she didn’t care at this point. After days of fruitless wandering, hope was dwindling. Maybe there was still something left in the Yucatan. That octopus’s remark was enough to reignite her drive.

Can’t be much farther now, she thought, leaping over a gnarled cluster of roots only to lose her footing when the terrain sloped drastically, the cenote awaiting her at the bottom.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Daring dug in her hoofs, desperate to halt her momentum, but the jungle offered no assistance. No branches, no vines, nothing to slow her descent. Gravel tumbled down the incline and vanished into the darkness as she skidded closer and closer. Daring’s mind ran through her opinions.

Too heavy to fly. . Gotta jump.

She tensed her legs and sprang forward just as her hoofs touch the edge. Time slowed to a crawl as Daring soared over the pit, unsure if she would reach the other side.

Daring slammed into the ledge with a dull thud, air rushing out of her lungs. Pain radiated out from her chest like a wildfire. She tried to ignore it and claw her way up, clinging to the outcropping for dear life. Legs flailed about in search of a foothold that didn’t exist. The weight of her saddlebags slowly dragged her back into the cenote as her grip weakened by the second.

When it seemed her strength had reached its limit, a weightlessness washed over Daring’s body. She seized that moment to toss herself over the edge and scramble to solid land. She let out a weak chuckle then winced. Made it.

The relief was short-lived. A stabbing pain soon accompanied each breath as the adrenaline wore off. “I need to be more careful,” Daring coughed, clutching her chest. “Otherwise it’ll be the death of me.”

The pain subsided a few minutes later, replaced by a dull ache. Daring shakily rose to her hoofs then glanced back at the cenote. A ray of light piercing through the canopy offered her a glimpse into the cavern that laid beneath.

Within the illuminated space, Daring spotted a promising sign. Brown sherds littered every inch of the cenote’s limestone floor. “Offerings…That means those ruins must be--”

She turned around and felt her jaw drop.

“Close,” she finished, breathlessly. Amid the meager daylight and dense vegetation stood the undeniable silhouette of a Mayapone pyramid.

Several millennia ago, a flourishing city-state would have surrounded the structure. The seat of power to some petty king whose name was lost to the fog of time. One of countless others that dotted the Yucatan. Now, it was just another collection of forgotten structures that were being reclaimed by the jungle.

Daring’s analytical instincts kicked in as she walked toward the pyramid, her gaze sweeping across ruins. The pyramid’s height. The arrangement of buildings. The craftsmanship of stone blocks. Each detail helped to reconstruct an image of the city in its glory days.

All signs point to this being Post-Classic site.

She stopped the base and drew her machete, hacking away the thick wall of vines.

Instead of the patchwork of broken rock that Daring had expected, a singular block of stone laid beneath the foliage. She peeled away another layer, uncovering an entire row of blocks. Each cut to perfectly fit its neighbors. A millennium of neglect and exposure had left its mark, yet the stone remained intact.

No…this masonry is too clean. It has to be Terminal-Classic.

Out the corner of her eye, Daring noticed something which prompted a double-take.

A trio of stone columns positioned several feet away from a crumbled wall. A common feature of numerous Mayapone sites. Nothing that she hadn’t seen in the past, except for their condition. The Yucatan’s hostile climate often reduced stone to tatters. Yet, those columns left Daring questioning her sanity.

The columns were utterly pristine, clean as the day which they were erected. The limestone slip smooth and unbroken. No clinging vines. No weathering. Not even the slightest hint of discoloration. Somehow, despite the surrounding structures falling to ruin, those columns were left unchanged by time’s relentless march. Untouched by nature as the jungle swallowed up the city’s remnants. Poking around their edges were curious shapes that filled Daring with confusion. “What the…”

The veil of humidity dissipated as Daring approached the columns. The swarm of mosquitoes which had hounded since her morning scattered. A hush enveloped the ruins where only the clattering of pebbles and crunching of grass underhoof could be heard. Rather than a welcome respite, it only fueled a growing dread.

An odd quality began to imbue the air. The stagnant fetor of antiquity hung around the columns like a miasma. Omnipresent among decaying structures and sealed tombs, it was unthinkable to encounter the odor in open jungle. Daring mulled over possible explanations until her gaze met the mysterious stone figures.

A full body statue decorated each of the columns. Hulking stallions whose bodies adorned in jewelry and headdresses befitting Mayapone royalty. Musculature rendered in exquisite detail. Horns pointed skyward and wing spread proudly, they cast an imposing shadow. Daring stared listlessly at the statues and muttered, “Lifelike statues…of alicorns…in the Yucatan.” Overloaded by the contradictory images, her brain shut down.

A flash of pain across her cheek snapped Daring back to reality. She whipped her head around then glanced at her raised hoof.

Huh, guess I…slapped myself.

Daring re-focused her sight on the statues as countless baffled thoughts flooded her brain.

What are these doing here? Why are they statues? They should be bas-relief carvings not these life-sized monstrosities. Furthermore, why are these alicorns? There are no records of alicorns existing prior to Celestia and Luna! This isn’t Canterlot. This isn’t Cloudsdale. This is the bucking Yucatan jungle in Mexicolt! What the buck are they doing here?

The maelstrom of confusion quelled upon noticing an oddity on the central column. A stone mask resembling an equine skull positioned a few inches above the alicorn’s hoof.

“The stone mask… Finally.” Daring chuckled weakly. She set down her saddlebags and rummaged through its assortment of tools, retrieving a small chisel.

This should do just fine.

As Daring approached the column, a small gecko emerged from the tall grass. It briefly scanned the area then scurried up the center column, perching atop the alicorn’s head. The gecko cocked its head and stared at her while licking its eye. Daring paused, letting out a bemused chuckle. “Cute.”

The gecko stiffened and let out a strangled yelp before being absorbed into the statue. The chisel dropped from Daring’s mouth.

There’s no way that just happened.

As she gaped at the stone alicorn, ice crystalized in her veins. Its stare felt uncomfortably real. Overcome by a morbid curiosity, her hoof moved closer and closer to the column only to pull back at the last second. A frantic heartbeat loud in her ears, Daring exhaled then retrieved the chisel.

Don’t think about it. Just get the mask and get out of here.

Hovering above the statue, Daring wedged the chisel into a crack between the mask and column. Inch by inch the blade slid in until a dull clack rang out. She jimmied the chisel up and down with little progress. The column refused to yield its treasure. Daring’s breathe grew ragged. Every muscle in her body screamed, exhaustion weighing heavier with each passing second airborne.

“Come on!” A swift kick to the handle sent the mask flying off the column. Daring dropped to the ground and picked up the mask, turning it around in her hoofs. “Finally…”

A sharp pain pierced Daring’s neck. “Gah! Bucking mosquitos!” She slapped at the offending insect. Something cold and metallic pressed against her hoof. A small tube with stiff fletching. Color drained from the world. The stone mask tumbled out of her grasp as her limbs grew numb. Daring grimaced and staggered a few steps before collapsing. Darkness closed in around her as several figures emerged out of the tree line.

The roar of crashing water. The crackling of a bonfire. The din of overlapping voices. Daring began to stir as those noises assailed her ears. “Urghhh.” Pain gripped her head like a vice. She attempted to reach up and massage it away, but her limbs refused to budge. A crushing pressure wrapped around her chest. Breathing shallow and constricted, Daring’s eyes opened to ropes binding every inch of her body to a log. “What in the-”

Craning her neck to the right, a breathtaking overlook of the Yucatan greeted Daring. The crimson sun peered over the horizon and bathed the jungle in its glow. A lone Mayapone pyramid broke through the jungle’s canopy. A torrent surged over the precipice a few feet away.

To her left, a plume of smoke rose up into the twilight sky. A quartet of ponies and numerous crates clustered around a bonfire. Three chatted and passed rations to each other while the fourth sat on the opposite side. He inspected the mask, turning it over in his hoofs. Haze and shadows obscured their faces. Daring attempted to slip out of her binds when one of the goons turned his head.

“Oi, Boss, she’s finally awake!”

The boss stood up and sauntered into the fading daylight. Daring’s blood boiled as his features came into view. Gelled black mane. Five o’clock shadow. Tacky spotted red ascot. Golden skull cutie mark. Extremely punchable face. There was no doubt of his identity.

“Welcome back to the waking world, Daring,” he said. “Now, you can witness the moment of my triumph!”

“Caballeron, you son of a-”

“It’s Dr. Caballeron.”

“No, it’s not,” Daring smirked, “The professors at Trottingham University were pretty clear when they kicked you out.”

“Those old fools know nothing!” Caballeron roared, striking the log.

His goons stiffened and glanced at him nervously.

He massaged his leg for a moment then slicked back his mane and smiled. All traces of anger had vanished except a slight twitch of his eye.

Caballeron picked up her canteen and dangled it overhead. “Might I interest you in some water? You look parched after such a long hike.”

Daring shot him a venomous glare. An intense dryness gripped her throat. Countless expletives danced on the tip of her tongue. Teeth grinded against each other. Yet, she refused to give him the satisfaction of a response.

“What’s the matter? All you have to do is reach up and grab it,” Caballeron said as the smuggest grin stretched across his face. “Well, suit yourself.” Shrugging, he tossed the canteen over his shoulder where the current swept it over the edge.

Caballeron walked to the precipice. “Depressing, isn’t it? Despite everything the Mayapone accomplished, that pyramid is their last legacy.” He scoffed. “One of the most advanced civilizations in pre-Equestria, nay the world and that’s what the Mayapone are remembered for: building a bunch of pyramids in Mexicolt.”

Daring rolled her eyes. “What’s your point?”

“Long before the first brick of Canterlot Observatory was laid, the Mayapone had already unlocked the secrets of the night sky. Without telescopes, without advance instrumentation, without magic, they tracked the stars and created calendars that remained accurate and outlasted them by centuries. One of their many achievements that rarely receives its due credit.”

“Wha-why are you telling me this? I’m already well aware these facts. We took those same classes.”

“Hieroglyphic writing. Monumental feats of engineering and architecture. A water filtration system. The independent invention of zero and mathematics! Numerous innovations that form the bedrock of our modern society!” Caballeron stomped around the campsite, his ravings growing more heated. “Yet, nobody has heard of them because all they ever teach is the Three Tribes, the Founding of Equestria, and the life of Starswirl the Bearded!”

“There he goes again,” one of the goons muttered, “Third time this week we’ve heard that same bloody rant.”

“I will admit, though, our knowledge is incomplete. Despite decades of continuous research, nopony knows what exactly caused the Mayapone collapse.” Caballeron paused to straighten his ascot. “There are plenty of theories: a bloody succession crisis, conquest by external entities, a series of droughts, disruption of trade routes, depletion of natural resources due to deforestation. So many theories that miss the answer that’s right in front of their eyes. The clues are so obvious but nopony is willing to acknowledge them… Except for me ”

Daring fell limp as that last sentence echoing throughout her mind. She stared listlessly at Caballeron, waiting for the punchline in vain. Not a hint of humor existed on his face. “You’re serious.”

Daring thrashed with a renewed fury, but the ropes held firm. “Are you bucking kidding me- you’re still holding on to that crackpot theory?! Listen, it was funny the first time I heard it over drinks. Not so much when you presented it to committee. I mean, do you seriously still believe the Mayapone were wiped out by a horde of vamponies created by super vamponies as their food supply?”

She smiled wryly. “On the other hoof, if you told me that was the premise for your new comic series, I would definitely give it a read.”

“After everything you’ve seen, that is where you draw the line?” Caballeron balked then waved over one of his goons who hastily brought the mask and placed on the ground. “No matter, you will soon see how right I am.”

Reaching into his shirt pocket, Caballeron produced an obsidian dagger and held it skyward. The blade shimmered a pale green as it caught the fading sunlight. “Found this atop that pyramid. Exquisite craftsmanship. If prepared by a skilled knapper, its edge can reach a thickness of 30 angstroms. Modern steel scalpels dream of achieving that type of precision.”

“Again, I know that. Get on with it!”

Caballeron held his hoof over the mask and dragged the blade across it with slight pressure, setting the dagger on the log. A thin red line welled up along the cut. Blood splattered upon stone, soaking into the crevices as the mask began to tremble. Spikes erupted within the mask’s interior and launched into the air where it landed on Caballeron’s outstretched leg.

“Who’s the crackpot now?!” Caballeron gloated, raising the mask to eye level and grinning. “Millennia ago, this tool precipitated the Mayapone’s downfall and, soon, it will facilitate my rise. My rebirth! My triumph!”

“So, that’s your endgame now? Turn yourself into a vampony and…then what?”

“I’ll figure it out as I go along. Not that you’ll be around to set much longer since-” Caballeron brandished a Bowie knife “-I’m going to put an end to your meddling once and for all. No deathtraps. No walking away and assuming everything will go to plan. Not even the irony of death by a Mayapone artifact. Just a regular knife in your chest. ”

“Wait, what do you mean no deathtraps?” An indignant goon cried. “Then what was the point of us rigging up that dynamite and luring in those caimans?”

“You imbeciles!” Caballeron barked. “You ruined the moment! I don’t pay you to chatter!”

“You haven’t paid us at all!”

Daring burst into peals of laughter, “Oh, wow, you almost had going there. I should have known, no matter the situation, you always manage to screw it up.”

Caballeron snarled, raising the knife high, “I’ve heard enough from you! DIE!!!”

The world stood still as Caballeron’s knife arced toward her heart. A cascade of memories crashed down upon Daring. A peaceful fillyhood in Horseshoe Bay. That first encounter with Ahuizotl in the Badlands. Arguing her dissertation at Trottingham University. The sleepless nights translating her adventures into manuscripts. Amid the nostalgic procession, an unavoidable truth became clear.

Guess this really is the end for me. Can’t say I have any regrets. Daring closed her eyes as a gust blew past.

There was no sickening crush. No gush of blood. No deathly cold permeating her chest. Whatever had struck her was not a knife, rather it was something soft and wet. Daring opened her eyes then blinked. “Is that a banana?”

“What the?!” Caballeron gaped at the overripe banana now smeared across Daring’s shirt. He tossed the ruined fruit aside and reached for the obsidian dagger only to discover it had vanished along with the mask. “What happened?! Where did everything go?!”

“I believe you’re looking for this.” Daring and Caballeron turned to the bonfire where the octopus now sat amid the goons. He examined the knife before biting into it while the goons recoiled in horror. “I may be unfamiliar with local customs but that’s no way to treat your guest.”

“W-what are you?!” Caballeron backed away. His goons tripped over their hoofs, scrambling into the jungle. “Get back here you cowards!”

Pressure lifted off Daring’s chest as the slashed ropes slid off her the log. After sucking in a few unencumbered breathes, she sat up and directed her gaze at Cablleron who was barking toothless threats. His positioning near the edge was too tantalizing not to abuse. Daring tensed her legs then lunged at him. Hoof met face with a satisfying crunch.

“Curse you, Daring Do!” Caballeron screamed as he plummeted over the edge. Seconds later, a splash was heard followed an explosion that rocked the area. A geyser erupted skyward and misted the air a light pink.

“Shouldn’t we check on him?”

“Don’t worry about it, he’s survived worse.” Daring waved dismissively, trotting over to the camp. “I threw him into a volcano once.” After checking around the crates, her saddlebags and pith helmet were discovered beneath a tarp. She let out a relieved sigh then turned to the octopus. “That’s twice in one day that you’ve saved my flank. I don’t know how to thank you…Actually, I never got your name.”

“Korosensei. And think nothing of it.” He smiled sheepishly, holding out a book. “Though, if you don’t mind, I would appreciate an autograph.”

“Is that all? No problem.” Daring blinked in disbelief at the cover. “Wait...how did you get this? The Pirate City of Maretania isn’t due for release until next month. The only way you could have gotten this is-” Daring shook her head then signed the inner cover. “Nevermind, at this point, I could care less how you got it.”

“I believe this belongs to you,” Korosensei said, presenting her the stone mask. A hint of apprehension bled into his voice. “From what I saw, it could be quite dangerous in the wrong hoofs. What do you plan on doing with it?”

Daring hesitated before accepting it. The fresh memory of what occurred in the ruins lingered. “It’s still a Mayapone artifact, regardless of that fact. It belongs in a museum-” a chill ran up Daring’s spine as she glanced at the bloodstained mask, its empty eyes staring back. “-though, not on public display. I know a pony at the Vanhoover Museum who’ll keep this under lock and key.” She placed it in her saddle bag and retrieved her polaroid camera. “Anyway, do you mind if we take a picture for posterity?”

“Not at all.” Korosensei set the camera atop a crate, started the timer, then darted to her side. A flash and shutter click preceded the photo floating to the ground. Daring inspected it and smiled. “So, I suppose you will be spending the night here?”

“Yeah, it’s too dangerous to try heading back to town at this hour. Besides, it would be a shame to let all these supplies go to waste. Care to join me?”

“Unfortunately, I will have to decline.” Korosensei glanced at the darkening sky where a solitary star shone bright. “My vacation time is almost over and there are a few sights in Canterlot I wish to see before heading home.” He jumped to the river’s opposite side. “It was a pleasure talking with you, Miss Do. Take care.”

“Canterlot? That’s over a thousand miles from here! How do you plan on getting there-” A surge of air buffeted Daring as Korosensei rocketed due north. He was a twinkle on the horizon within seconds, indistinguishable amongst the emerging blanket of stars. “A talking octopus…that can also fly. Yeah, that makes sense.”

Laughing, she slumped against one of the crates. “Can’t wait to explain this to my editor.” The bonfire’s glow felt comforting after past few hours. A jaguar’s cry reverberated in the distance as darkness consumed the jungle.

Korosensei soared across the twilit sky, orange clouds lost in his wake. Night began to sweep across the landscape on his right. Cities and towns dotting the plains zipped by until a mountain loomed on the horizon. Water streaming down its side and Canterlot’s gilded architecture shimmered in final minute before the sun vanished. “Let’s see what Equestria’s capitol has to offer.”

Field Trip Time

The sun bore down upon Sweet Apples Acres while a shimmering haze rising off the ground. Applejack stood beneath a tree, glaring at the clear sky. “Partly cloudy muh hoof! Next time Rainbow Dash shows her face around here, Ah’ll give her a piece of muh mind!” Wiping the sweat from her brow, she readjusted her Stetson and trotted out of the shade. “Clouds or no clouds, Ah've got trees to buck.”

Applejack worked her way through the orchard as the sun arced through the sky. The unrelenting heat gradually sapped away her energy while rows of unharvested trees and empty buckets stretched to the horizon, stagnant air compounding the exhaustion growing in her legs. In spite of these hindrances, Applejack refused to slow down and continued bucking the trees.The hard thuds of apples tumbling into a bucket provided all the motivation she needed.

Climbing the first hill, Applejack was greeted by remnants of a cloud floating overhead. They lazily drifted past the sun and cast several pockets of shadow on to the open ground. She savored the temporary reprieve from the midday sun, frowning as the wisps broke apart and scattered to the wind. Sighing, she refocused on the quartet of trees resting on the hilltop. Scarlet fruit dangled from their branches, glistening from rays of light. “Hundred trees down, five-hundred to go… ” Applejack grumbled wearily.

Applejack nudged the bucket into position before spinning around and bucking the tree with full force. The trunk shuddered as ripe apples were shaken loose and fell from the branches accompanied by stray leaves. A breeze rushed through the trees as she paused to savor the cooling sensation against her fur. Turning to examine the harvest, Applejack’s jaw dropped. “What in tarnation?!”

The bucket was filled with red fruits, but not the kind that Applejack had expected. They were noticeably rounder in shape, their skin waxen. As several fruits spilled out and rolled down the hill, Applejack scooped one up and bit into it. “Plums,” she muttered while the sweet taste coated her tongue. Applejack let the half-eaten fruit drop from her hoof before turning to the apple tree and chuckled. “Alright, Pinkie, Ah’ll admit it. Ya got me good there.”

Applejack waited for Pinkie to climb down and giggle about the "hilariousness" of her prank. When no response materialized after several minutes, she frowned and delivered a swift kick to the tree. “Don’t say Ah didn’t warn ya!” The branches rustled violently from the impact, showering the ground with dead leafs and twigs. Applejack frantically scanned the tree, hoping to glimpse a piece of Pinkie’s mane as unease washed over her. ”This ain’t funny no more. Come on out, ya hear?”

The hilltop was silent as a breeze rushed past and carried away the dead leafs. Applejack cautiously trotted to the next bucket while her eyes darting between trees, wary of the slightest movement. As she craned her neck upward to better view the branches, a wave of relief washed over Applejack. “Those are definitely apples, no two ways about it,” she remarked, grinning at her reflection in the scarlet fruits. Applejack let out a content sigh before re-positioning herself and bucking the tree.

Her of bliss was soon dispelled by a succession of dull thuds, eliciting a growl from Applejack. The impact of falling apple was a something that Applejack knew all to well. Countless harvest seasons spent traversing through rows of trees had etched that sound into her soul. Twisting her neck back, Applejack’s suspicions were confirmed as her eyes narrowed in disgust at the citrus-filled bucket.

Applejack slowly trotted to the bucket and scooped up one of the oranges. She dispassionately glared at the offending citrus for a moment before tossing it into the air. Moments before it would have hit the ground, the orange was intercepted by Applejack’s kick and sent careening into a nearby tree. Bursting upon impact, it slid down the trunk and left behind a trail of juice while Applejack stomped about the hilltop. “Last chance! Come out before Ah buck ya into next week!”

Applejack’s ire withered under the midday sun, forcing a retreat to the shade. As she leaned against the unharvested tree, fatigue began to reassert its presence. The slightest movement turned Applejack’s limbs to lead, her lungs burning with each breath. Applejack’s eyes wandered around the hilltop before settling on the apples dangling above her head. The scarlet fruit swayed with the breeze and drew a weary sigh from Applejack. “Ah can’t stop now. There are still trees that need bucking.”

Applejack rose to her hoofs and repositioned herself perpendicular to the tree. Mustering her resolve, she delivered a strong kick before intently listening for the impacts of the apples. A tense moment passed before a singular thump shattered the hilltop’s calm. Applejack whipped her head around, immediately recoiling at crown of pointy leafs jutting out of the bucket. “Pineapple?! It ain’t possible!” she cried out with her pupils shrinking to pinpricks.

Backpedaling across the hilltop, Applejack was unaware of last bucket until inadvertently tripping over it. She landed head first against the ground, sending her hat airborne and the world into spirals. ”Ow,” Applejack groaned as another strong gust buffeted the trees.

Applejack wearily rose to her hooves and massaged her throbbing skull. The hilltop remained blurry on her stumbling trek to the tree branch which had snared her hat. Each step gradually brought the fuzzy shapes into further clarity. Upon retrieving her hat, Applejack’s eyes were darting about the hilltop in disbelief.

A cursory glance around the hilltop revealed the same formation of trees and buckets which Applejack had seen before bumping her head. This notion was dispelled as several discrepancies became glaringly apparent. The half-eaten plum was nowhere in sight among the swaying grass. The orange’s splattered remains had vanished from the tree’s bark along with the lingering citrus aroma. However, the buckets’ contents which Applejack found most shocking. Gone without a trace were the plums, oranges, and lone pineapple, now replaced by piles of apples.

Applejack stared at the buckets and blinked, unwilling to trust her own eyes. She trotted over to the nearest one and grabbed an apple from atop its pile. Raising it to eye level, Applejack examined the fruit momentarily before sinking her teeth into it. The familiar taste of a crisp apple coated her tongue, much to her simultaneous delight and disbelief. She eagerly devoured the rest of the apple while replaying the last few minutes in her head. “What in Equestria is going on here…”

Applejack paced around the surrounding area, combing each blade of grass for anything to make sense of events. Several minutes of searching passed with the mounting exhaustion as her only reward. Stopping at the bottom of the hill, Applejack let out a weary sigh before glancing at the rows of unharvested trees which stretched to the horizon. “Ya know, maybe Ah should put this off ‘til tomorrow. Waiting a day won’t kill the harvest, right?” she said with an uneasy chuckle.

As Applejack departed from the hilltop, plums, the untouched tree’s branches started to rustle. A backpack and assorted fruits fell to the ground with Korosensei following moments later. He rapidly packed away plums and oranges before pausing at the lone pineapple and biting through its rind.It was surprising to find a tropical fruit vendor in such a temperate region. Leaning against the tree, Korosensei grinned and contently munched on the fruit while Applejack entered the distant farmhouse. While tenacity and determination are admirable qualities, they are often accompanied by stubbornness. It is important to know your limits and when to take a break.

Wiping his face clean of pineapple chunks, Korosensei tossed the backpack over his shoulder before plotting his next destination. Those thoughts were soon interrupted by faint chatter. Who could that possibly be? He ventured through the orchard, passing by countless apple trees to locate the source. A treehouse emerged in the distance after several minutes of wandering. Nearing the structure, Korosensei noticed a scooter with attached wagon resting against the trunk as three distinct voices could be heard yelling over each other.

Inside the clubhouse, a cloud of vexation hung over the heads of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Scootaloo paced around the perimeter while Sweetie Belle stared listlessly at the horizon. Apple Bloom sat on the floor with a map unfurled in front of her.

“I can’t believe Twilight cancelled on us like that!” Scootaloo shouted, punctuating the last word with a stomp. “She knows how important completing this project is for class!”

“We know that, Scootaloo.” Sweetie Belle turned away from the window and glared at her friend with increasing agitation. “It’s not like you have been repeating the same thing for the last ten minutes.”

“She’s supposed to be our friend!” Scootlaoo returned the glare, narrowing her eyes. “How could she do this to us?!”

“Well, you know how Twilight can be sometimes,” Sweetie Belle said with resignation dripping from her voice. “If something involves organizing books, Princess Celestia, or a combination of the two, she’ll do anything to get it done.”

“Yeah,” Scootaloo groused, her anger faltering for a second, “but that doesn’t make it right!”

“Girls!” Apple Bloom slammed her hoof against the floor, sending a tremor through the clubhouse. “Can ya keep it down? Ah’m trying to figure out our next move.”

“Give it a rest, Apple Bloom.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes before slumping against the wall. “Twilight already told us the closest library with information on Griffonstone is all the way in Trottingham. We have no way to get there and have a presentation ready by Monday. It’s just our luck to get Griffonstone while Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon got Canterlot.”

“We have to do something!” Apple Bloom pleaded. “We can’t show up with empty hoofs. Miss Cheerilee would be so disappointed in us.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Sweetie Belle said, staring glumly at the floor. “A solution to our problems just isn’t going to come knocking at our door.”

At that moment, a light knocking emanated from the clubhouse door. Scootaloo donned an expression of shock and turned to Sweetie Belle who shrugged defensively. Apple Bloom let out an exasperated sigh before walking over to the door. “Relax, it’s probably just muh sister checking up on us.”

Apple Bloom’s annoyance was replaced by surprise upon opening the door. She gawked with widening eyes at Korosensei who offered a reassuring smile in response. “Sorry for the intrusion, but I may be able to help with your predicament”

A minute of awkward silence passed with the three fillies trading glances with each other, unsure of how to act. Sensing the growing unease, Korosensei wracked his mind for a way to break the ice. “I’m surprised none of you have screamed or slammed the door in my face yet.”

“You must not be from around here,” Scootaloo remarked nonchalantly. “Ponyville is a magnet for weirdness.”

“We’re used to weird things popping up on a weekly basis though it’s a friendship problem most of the time,” Sweetie Belle chimed in. “Those usually get cleared up within a half-hour.”

“Anyway…who are ya and what does this have to do with our presentation?” Apple Bloom asked wearily.

“My name is Korosensei,” he said with a bow. “I was passing through when I overheard the details of your unfortunate situation.”

“Why?” Scootaloo glared Korosensei suspiciously. “What’s in it for you?”

“Nothing,” Korosensei replied bluntly. “As a teacher, I feel compelled to help those who were dealt an unfair…hoof.”

“How are you going to do that?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“I have ways of travelling to long distances in a short amount of time.” Korosensei reached into the clubhouse, plucked the map off the floor and quickly examining it. “If you’re willing, I can arrange a field trip to somewhere with plenty of information on Griffinstone.”

“Really?” Apple Bloom leaned forward, eyes glimmering with hope. “What do have to do?”

“If you can obtain your parent’s permission, I will handle-“ Apple Bloom bolted out the door, knocking Korosensei into a spin “-everything…else.”

“AH’LLBERIGHTBACKPLEASEDON’TGOANYWHEREITWILLONLYBEAMINUTEORTWO…” Apple Bloom’s voice trailed off as she galloped toward and disappeared beyond the rolling hills.

“She can get a bit excited at times,” Sweetie Belle said, beckoning Korosensei into the clubhouse. “Why don’t you take a seat while we wait for Apple Bloom?”

Korosensei nodded graciously, crossing the threshold and shutting the door. Hopping on to the crate in the corner, he retrieved a quill and parchment from his backpack while unfurling the map on the floor. The sound of manic scribbling flooded the clubhouse interior as Korosensei’s tentacle danced across the parchment’s surface. Lost within his preparations, Korosensei was oblivious to the fillies who were eying him with immense curiosity.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo couldn’t help but stare at the strange creature resting in their clubhouse. Life in Ponyville should have desensitized them to all manners of bizarre occurrences. Everything from bunny stampedes to the short-lived reign of chaos had afflicted the town during the last two years and yet Korosensei was different. He resembled nothing described in the Beastiary of Equestria which complement his otherworldly aura. Sweetie Belle remained near the window while Scootaloo ventured for a closer look. “What are you?”

“I have already told you that I’m a teacher,” Korosensei replied, looking down at the filly.

“She means what exactly are you.” Sweetie Belle gestured at one of Korosensei’s tentacle.

“Oh, that’s…complicated.” Korosensei rolled up the parchment and stowed it inside his robe before standing up. “For the sake of simplicity, let’s refer to me as an octopus.”

Scootaloo cocked her head. “An octopus? What’s a fish doing so far way from the ocean?”

“Technically, octopi are invertebrates who belong to the Mollusca phylum,” Sweetie Belle remarked.

Scootaloo whipped around and faced her friend with a look of pure confusion. “Why do you know that?”

“My family and I visited the Baltimare Aquarium last week. A scientist told me all about octopi when we stopped at their exhibit,” Sweetie Belle said with a grin. “It was really cool. The octopus squeezed through a tube and opened a jar holding its food.”

The clubhouse door abruptly swung open to reveal Apple Bloom who stumbled through the threshold. “Granny Smith told me its fine…as long as we’re back by sundown,” she blurted out while catching her breath.

“If that’s the case, we shouldn’t be wasting anymore time,” Korosensei proclaimed as he glided past the winded filly. “Follow me!”

Walking down the ramp from their clubhouse, the Cutie Mark Crusaders found Korosensei limbering up with a series of stretches. He briefly checked the straps of his backpack before tossing it over his shoulders. “Is everypony ready to embark on our field trip?”

Apple Bloom turned to Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo who offered smiles of despite their own concerns. She exhaled sharply and steeled her resolve before flashing a confident smirk to Korosensei. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders are always ready for an adventure!”

“Well then fillies, let’s get going!” Korosensei pointed a tentacle skyward. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo looked at each other and blinked, failing to comprehend how they were suddenly hanging off the collar of Korosensei’s robe. “Brace yourselves for a flight through the stratosphere at hypersonic speeds!”

“Wait?! What?!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.

“Don’t worry, I’ll accelerate gently as to not shock your systems,” Korosensei reassured, launching into the sky a moment later. Screams were drowned out by the ensuing blast of air as they rocketed through several cloud banks. Velocity and altitude steadily increased until trees and homes were reduced to the size of ants.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle clung to one another with grips tightening like vices. They trembled in abject terror at ocean of clouds below. All verbal protests died in their throats while the possibility of plummeting to the ground loomed in their minds.

Meanwhile, Scootaloo was experiencing a rush of euphoria. A jubilant smile stretched across her face as the terrestrial world soared past at blinding speeds. It was a sensation which she felt only inside her most blissful dreams with a single notable exception. “Why isn’t there any wind blowing through my mane?”

“How observant of you,” Korosensei noted while maintaining course. “That’s due to my aerodynamic skin. While it’s normally soft and squishy, exposure to high pressure causes my head to harden like a shell. This deflects heavy winds and allows me to survive the stresses of Mach 20 flight.”

“I don’t think octopi react to pressure in that way,” Sweetie Belle remarked.

“They aren’t supposed to fly either,” Apple Bloom added.

“I’m a very special type of octopus,” Korosensei replied. “If you’ll look down in a moment, we’ll be passing over the Celestial Sea.”

As they soared over the vast blue expanse, Scootaloo glimpsed a verdant island lingering on the horizon. It vanished from sight faster than she could raise the issue, resulting in a tinge of uncertainty creeping into her mind. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle shot her looks mimicking that sentiment. “Hey, I think we just missed Trottingham back there.”

“I have a different destination in mind,” Koroesensei said with a grin.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders’ confusion was soon quelled by the emergence of a tree straight ahead. As they weaved through rocky outcroppings, its titanic size became apparent with multiple structures visible on the branches. Korosensei gradually decelerated before landing in front of the entrance gate and setting the fillies on the ground. “Welcome to Griffonstone!”

“This place is a dump!” Scootaloo exclaimed, stunned by the squalor of the city.

Ramshackle houses dominated the cityscape of Griffonstone. Massive cracks climbed their walls like ivy while broken roofs revealed support beams in varying states of decay. Discarded barrels and twigs littered the streets as a pair of griffons gambled in the alleyway.

“What happened here?” Sweetie Belle wondered aloud.

“Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer to that question.” Korosensei rapidly distributed a notepad and quill to each of the fillies before retrieving the parchment from his robe. He unfurled it and glided through the gate, gesturing for them to follow. “However, this presents a unique opportunity. We shall explore the city and uncover what lead to its decline. Let’s start by interviewing some of the locals.”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders strode forward and caught up to Korosensei, reinvigorated by a surge of optimism. Approaching the first house on their path, Apple Bloom knocked on the door which was met by a faint grumbling. A griffon answered it moments later, his eyes narrowed in annoyance.

“Excuse me sir, would you mind answering a few question?” Apple Bloom asked politely.

The griffon slammed the door in the fillies’ face, sending a tremor through the dilapidated structure and shaking loose a few chunks of wall. The debris fell toward Sweetie Belle before veer off course at the last second. She brushed the dust from her mane and levelled a venomous glare at the house. “That was rude.”

“Don’t lose heart!” Korosensei rallied. “We’ll just have to try the other houses!”

After several attempts met with identical results, the Cutie Mark Crusaders felt their resolve draining away. They gazed sullenly at their blank notepads while Korosensei rested atop a barrel with the parchment in his tentacles. He struck several items off the itinerary and leapt to his feet. “Well, I suppose the locals aren’t going to be much help. Let’s see if there’s still a library around here. There’s only a few hour left before the sun sets.”

“He’s right! We can’t time moping around!“ Scootaloo charged forth, only to collide headlong into a wooden cart and bounce off. Recovering from the impact, she flashed a sheepish grin at the griffon owner before retreating back to her friends. “Sorry about that.”

“Watch where you’re going!” the griffon shouted, cocking her head at the fillies. “Hold on, haven't I seen you dweebs somewhere before?”

“Ah can’t say we have,” Apple Bloom replied timidly. “Ya would happen to know where the library is, would ya?”

“What do I look like? A tour guide?” The griffon jabbed a talon back at her cart where a dozen pastries resembling rocks sat on shelves. “Buy some of my griffonscones then maybe I’ll point you the right direction.”

Within a split-second, piles of bits replaced the griffonscones and caused the griffon’s jaw to hang slack. She glanced back to Korosensei who happily crunched through hardened treats. “Will that be sufficient for your services, Miss…”

“Gilda.” She hastily scooped up the golden coins and stuffed them into a green pouch before pointing down the street. “Head to end then take a right. It’s right by the old statue of King Grover, you can’t miss it. If you throw in a few more bits, I’ll send over Grandpa Gruff. He’s an expert on the history of this place.”

Korosensei dumped another pile of bits into her outstretched talons as he glided down the street. “Come along fillies, there isn’t a moment to waste.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders obliged and trotted after Korosensei, glancing back at Gilda with vague recollection. Gilda merely shrugged and reveled in the sudden windfall.

Moments later, a small black griffon landed next to the cart. She peered down the street as Korosensei’s group rounded the corner before producing a bundle of letters from her satchel. Turning to Gilda, her excitement and curiosity were palatable in the air. “Here’s your mail, Gilda. Who were those guys?”

Gilda snatched the mail from her paw. “I have no clue what the tall one is supposed to be but the other three are ponies. Gabby, take my advice and don’t get involved with them. You’ll only end up with a migraine.”

Korosensei’s ever-present smile faltered upon arriving the ruins of Griffonstone’s library. Half-empty bookshelves rested among the collapsed roof. Tomes littered the ground with multiple pages visibly torn out. The statue of the first griffon monarch was riddled with numerous fractures, appearing ready to crumble under the next heavy wind. “I was hoping for something better but we’ll have to make do. Everypony choose a shelf and start browsing for anything that could be useful for your project. I’ll be around to expedite the process.”

As Apple Bloom and Scootaloo trudged toward the shelves, Korosensei felt a slight tug on his sleeve. He looked down at Sweetie Belle whose eyes shined with inquisitiveness. “Is something on your mind?”

“Why are you going so far to help us?” Sweetie Belle asked while scooping up a book off the floor. “I know you’re a teacher and all but we just met an hour ago.”

Korosensei let out a brief chuckle. “Believe it or not, I see a lot of the issues which plagued my students in the three of you.”

“Really?” Scootaloo interjected while extracting a book lodged in the roof.

Apple Bloom glanced up from the ancient tome cradled in her hoofs. “How so?”

“You’re heading down a similar path that my students have already walked. They were once wandering through the darkness, unsure of their futures. With a little bit of guidance, they’re now brimming with confidence and ready to grasp their dreams.” Korosensei gazed wistfully at the sky. “I wonder what they’re doing right now…”

Nagisa let out a sigh of relief and slumped against the seat. Glancing down at his math workbook, the open page was crammed to its margins with dozens of equations and calculations. He smiled triumphantly despite a haze of exhaustion clouding his mind. “Thanks for all the help, Karma. I finally feel prepared to take on my entrance exams.”

“No problem,” Karma replied casually while sipping on his soda. “So, you’ve fully committed to becoming a teacher, huh?”

Nagisa nodded, stowing the workbook in his schoolbag. “After everything that we’ve been through this year, it just feels right. I want to use abilities to help others, not hurt them.”

“That’s probably for the best,” Karma said with a knowing grin. “The idea of you running around as an assassin is kinda terrifying.”

“What are you worried about?” Nagisa turned to Karma and reciprocated the look. “You’ve already more than a match for my abilities. I still have the bruises to prove it.”

They broke into laughter for a minute before Nagisa shifted his gaze through the glass storefront and watched the people. A calm had settled over the café after their friends had departed back to their homes. The lunch crowd had yet to arrive, sending the staff into a frenzy of preparations. Isogai darted between tables and collected the . “Hard to believe it’s been almost a year since we started this wild journey with Korosensei.”

“Yeah, whether we kill him or not, everything will to an end in a few more weeks,” Karma remarked with a hint of melancholy.

Fuwa burst into the café, bracing herself against the doorway and panting heavily. Spotting Nagisa and Karma, she rushed over to their booth and slammed both hands on to the table. “Has Korosensei contacted either of you today?”

Nagisa and Karma exchanged puzzled glances before shaking their heads. “Can’t say that we have.”

Fuwa exhaled sharply and took the seat next to Nagisa. “I believe that Korosensei has been kidnapped.”

“Seriously? Aren’t you jumping to conclusions?” Karma asked incredulously. “Korosensei hasn’t talked to us in a day and suddenly it’s a kidnapping? He’s disappeared for days at a time before. Besides, what’s the point in kidnapping him when there’s a bounty for his head.”

“I don’t know but something isn’t adding up!” Fuwa shouted, leaning across the table. “I checked with everyone else and none of them have heard from Korosensei. Neither have Bitch-sensei or Karasuma-sensei. I’ve tried calling his cell phone multiple times, only to be sent straight to voice mail. Our entrance exams are only a weeks away. There’s no way that Korosensei wouldn’t be checking up on us with something so important coming up.”

“Maybe Korosensei is somewhere without coverage,” Nagisa offered.

Fuwa shook her head and placed her cell phone on the table. “I considered that possibility so I asked Ritsu to find out where Korosensei is hiding.”

Ritsu’s virtual avatar stood against the backdrop of a world map. “I utilized every possible resource to pinpoint Korosensei’s location with no success. Even after hacking into the government’s latest spy satellite, I couldn’t locate him anywhere in the world. It should have found him regardless of his battery having a charge or not.”

“Alright, that’s a little bit suspicious,” Nagisa admitted as uncertainty took root in hisheart.

“That’s not all,” Ritsu added, summoning a table displaying timestamps with corresponding longitude and latitude coordinates. It continuously scrolled until the last entries were marked by red error indicators. “I reviewed the satellite’s logged data and discovered that Korosensei’s tracking signal vanished at the same time when my system crashed.”

“Hold on, your system crashed?” Karma’s eyes widened in genuine shock. “That’s never happened before.”

“Exactly!” Fuwa reached into her schoolbag and slapped a comic book on to the table. “Whatever’s going on with Korosensei, I bet it has something to do with this!”

Nagisa picked up the comic book and read its title aloud. “Power Ponies ?”

Karma levelled at deadpan stare at Fuwa. “You’ve lost me. What does Korosensei’s supposed disappearance have to do with a talking horse comic from America?”

“Look on the back, you’ll see it near the barcode,” Fuwa declared with a prideful grin.

“Printed in Manehatten,” Nagisa said in a confused tone before setting down the comic and looking back to Fuwa. “It’s probably just a printing error.”

“That’s where you would be wrong, Nagisa,” Ritsu interjected. “I cross-referenced that title with dozens of comic databases, publisher catalogues, and message boards without any matches.”

Karma scooped up the comic and rotated it in his hand. “Where did you find thing, anyway?”

“I’m glad that you asked,” Fuwa said enthusiastically. “I found it on the classroom floor after everybody had left. Korosensei is too much of a neat freak to do that so it must have been dropped by his kidnapper.”

“Alright, then who did it?” Karma asked mockingly. “A bunch of magical talking horses?”

“I’m not ruling that out,” Fuwa said bluntly. “Korosensei and his cell phone vanishing, Ritsu experiencing a system crash, and that comic appearing all occurred at the same time. It can’t a coincidence.”

“Maybe you should lay off the manga, Fuwa,” Nagisa said with a tone of slight worry. “That’s a bit too surreal even considering everything that we’ve done together as a class.”

“Fine!’ Ritsu and I will solve this mystery by ourselves!” Fuwa snatched the comic out of Karma’s hands and stormed out of the café in a huff.

Karma sighed and turned to Nagisa whose expression betrayed his growing uncertainty. “You’re not seriously giving the magical pony theory a second thought, are you?”

“No, but Fuwa does have a point,” Nagisa said while shaking his head. “Something has happened to Korosensei. I just don’t an idea on what it could be.”

A strong gust buffeted the trees of Sweet Apple Acres as Korosensei landed near the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ clubhouse. He carefully set down the fillies before dumping a pile of notepads into their wagon. “I hope this is sufficient to cover your presentation on Griffonstone.”

“Are you kidding?” Scootaloo exclaimed while pulling her scooter to the dirt road. “We’re going to have the best presentation ever! I can’t wait to see the look on Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon’s faces!”

“We can’t thank you enough.” Sweetie Belle climbed into the wagon before looking back at Korosensei with a contrite expression. “Though, you didn’t have to spend so many bits getting all that information of us.”

“Think nothing of it,” Korosensei said with a dismissive wave. “If something helps to enrich young minds, there’s no price that I wouldn’t be willing to pay.”

Apple Bloom joined her friend in the wagon and cocked her head, a sly grin forming on her face. “Say, do ya think ya can help us get our cutie marks?”

Korosensei chuckled and patted the filly on her heads. “That would difficult given that I don’t have one myself. Anyway, I feel that’s something you have to discover on your own.”

“You probably should have seen that answer coming Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo replied while donning her helmet. “Will we be seeing you around Ponyville, Korosensei?”

“Unfortunately, this will probably be the last time we meet. I have limited vacation and my teaching job is very time intensive. However, our field trip to Griffonstone is an experience that I won’t forget.” Korosensei flashed a warm smile before noticing the sun dipping toward the horizon. “You should head home before it becomes dark.”

“Would ya like to join us for dinner?” Apple Bloom looked up with a hopeful glimmer in her eyes. “Ah’m sure that Applejack won’t mind another guest.”

“I couldn’t possibly intrude like that,” Korosensei replied, masking his guilt from the crestfallen filly.

“Alright,” Apple Bloom said sullenly. “Let’s get going before Granny Smith starts to worry.”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle hastily donned their helmets while Scootaloo flared out her wings. They waved goodbye as their scooter-propelled wagon rocketed down the dirt path and disappeared over the rolling hills. Korosensei leaned against a nearby tree and set his gaze upon the distant farmhouse. To his surprise, the fillies arrived and entered through the open door moments later. I never thought one could travel that fast by scooter.

Heading out of Sweet Apple Acres, Korosensei sighed contently and savored the peacefulness of his surrounding. The sunset had painted a vivid orange on to the landscape while animals scurried back to their burrows. Birds flittered through the sky of violet-tinged clouds before nesting among the trees. As a symphony of crickets permeated the air, a lone breeze carried along the faint scent of ripe apples. Korosensei’s state of bliss came to an end when he felt a sudden weight press down on his head, and then a tuft of hot pink mane draped into his field of view followed by a broadly grinning face. “Hiya!”

“NYUYAH!” Korosensei jumped back, his complexion flashing blue for a brief instance. The pink pony lingered in the air for a moment before gently dropping back to the ground. “Where did you come from?!”

“Sugarcube Corner… though I was born on a rock arm. I’m Pinkie Pie, the premier party planner for all of Ponyville. I never seen you before, Mr. Octopus. Are you new in town? You must be new!” Pinkie Pie gasped and leapt toward Korosensei, stopping inches away from his face. “Do you know what that means?”

“No, what does it mean?” Korosensei replied, immediately regretting his decision as Pinkie’s smile spread from ear to ear. She reached behind a nearby tree, rolling out a festively decorated wagon and pressing a button on its side. As the wagon’s top folded down, a bizarre oven-music box contraption with attached flags and horns sprung out and flooded the air with a cheerful melody.

“WeIcome! Welcome! Welcome! A fine welcome to you!” Pinkie sang aloud, dancing around Korosensei while swapping between a plethora of instruments that she seemingly plucked from thin air.

Korosensei hastily scanned the area for an avenue of escape while Pinkie continued her musical number. Upon noticing a faint crystalline glimmer, a mischievous grin spread across his face. I believe it’s time for me to pay the Princess of Friendship a visit. Korosensei carefully snuck away from an oblivious Pinkie Pie and created some distance before blasting off toward the castle.

“Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to Ponyville today!” Pinkie belted out, sliding to a halt in time with the music’s crescendo. Staring at the empty spot which Korosensei had occupied, she blinked twice before realizing his absence. “Huh?”

“Where did you go?” Pinkie looked around the empty road to Sweet Apple Acres, rubbing her chin in though before a light bulb materialized above her head. “Wait a minute, I know what’s going on. He must be so excited for his Welcome to Ponyville party that’s he’s already heading to Sugarcube Corner. Well two can play at that game!” She rapidly spun around and galloped back to Ponyville as the veil of night began washing over Equestria.