The Holy Crusade

O qui animarum vitam perdidi vivere in tormentis usque ad consummationem saeculi... (1)

"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!!!" Hi, my name is Wright Time. Running through the halls of the broken mansion, Wright's face was filled with panic. He was here for another job, hoping it was going to be easy since the home was so big. I'm a clock maker in Trottingdale. I get good pay fixing and making clocks. The entity behind him picked up a table and threw it towards its target earth pony. It hit him directly which caused him to scream in pain. Clearly, he was wrong..."Oh...anyone get the number on that cart....ugh..." I'm twenty-four years old, blood type O positive, and favorite color is sky blue.

Wright stood up with jelly legs and gazed up at his foe. I also have another job... The demon floating in the body of a unicorn laughed wickedly at the smaller earth pony. I work as a Ripper of demonic souls who threaten the living world within Equestria. Wright had just enough time to dodge an incoming wall of knives and watched as they stuck into the wall that he once stood in front of. His pupils shrunk and he shot his head to his enemy.

"That could have killed me!" He shouted angrily at the demonically possessed pony.

The being smiled with a sharp toothy grin. "I know!" The knives were pulled out of the wall and slowly turned towards him. Wright scoffed in annoyance. "NOW DIE!"

I get paid a ton of bits for my jobs if I end up saving most of the home or if the pony comes out alive. Another wave of incredibly sharp chef's knives rapidly shot towards him.  Rolling under the wave, he jumped off his front hooves, and bucked the possessed pony in the face as hard as he could. The demon was forced out by the Holy Shoes Wright was wearing while wiping and whipping wildly his body in the air. He looked down at the unicorn maiden and winced. He realized that he just hit his employer, and broke her nose. It was bleeding and bent a little to the right. "That's out of my check...."

Wright turned his attention to the still recovering spirit. His glasses allowed him to see it, but beyond the frame he could not see what he was fighting. Now that it was out of the unicorn, his job just became a lot easier. With his employer out of the equation, the demon could not find a suitable host to latch onto. Only ponies who know ponies who know ponies that have haunted houses or objects of interest even know who I am. And only ten ponies I have not been able to keep my secret life to.

"Why you pathetic little being!" The demon roared in anger as it flew towards him at amazing speeds. They clashed, hitting each other with a forehoof and flew back from the force into opposite walls. Wright groaned at his displeasure of pain. He was used to getting hurt all the time, but it didn't help that he still hated getting hurt.

Wright pulled himself together and began feeling the magic within him. I am unlike normal earth ponies or ponies in general. I was born with the ability to focus magic I absorb naturally and use it to fight demons with. As the demon got up, the magic began to pool into his right forehoof while his left kept it steady. I've learned three different spells I am able to. The first is called Spirit Cannon, the one I'm using now. A ball of energy started to grow from the pooling magic. The demon roared once more and charged at him, time also felt as though it began to slow. Each step for the demon felt like minutes for Wright. The other two are Soul Ripper and Divine Edge. The Spirit Cannon takes all of my energy that I have at one point and fires it at my target, and never misses. However...I can only use it once a day, after midnight.

The demon was only four feet away when Wright fired the spell from his hoof. It blasted him back as he was not used to charging the spell so quickly, but it still had done it's job. The demon was hit directly through its head which came completely off, and a black foul liquid started to pool as the body fell over headless on the ground. He laughed weakly and fell off the wall landing on his own face.

He took a moment to recollect himself. Using the Spirit Cannon took a massive tool on his energy, and he could not move until he regained some of it back. Closing his eyes, he felt the magic in the home and in the air. While most of it was dark magic, some of it was the magic he could use. Wright took a deep breath in, feeling the magic draw closer to him. Out some of it was pushed away, but not as far as he breathed in. Again he breathed in and felt the magic touch his damaged body. Slowly he was able to stand, but weakly.

Looking over to the dead demonic soul he reached for the nearest object that wasn't touched by the demon. It was a small vase he hoped wouldn't completely drain his pay from use, and opened the lid while pointing the hole at the body.

"Per virtutem solis, hoc adstringo animam tuam.(2) The body and blood flowed into the vase and he closed the lid. "Contract complete."

He pulled his necklace off and threw it onto the ground. "Calling Princess Celestia and Princess Luna." Those were the first two to discover my abilities, and my secret life. They fully supported it much to my surprise as I had feared that they would do some horrible things to me.

An image of the two diarchs flashed before him. Celestia had a small smile on her face while her younger sister Luna held a much larger grin. They stood proudly over him, and despite the distance between them, he still bowed before them.

"What is it now?" Celestia calmly asked.

"Contract complete for Mrs. Woods, awaiting clean up and extraction of the Vessel."

"How badly are you hurt?" Luna asked, her voice sounding sad. It was true though. Wright was covered in scratches and bruises, and blood was leaking from different parts of his body.

Wright waved his forehoof and laughed. "Tis but a scratch dear princesses."

Celestia frowned with Luna. "It looks a lot more than 'but a scratch', Wright. Do you require medical aid?"

"Just get the clean-up crew here, and fix up ole Mrs. Woods. I didn't mean to break her nose, but it got the demon out of her."

They nodded and Celestia looked to her sister. "Could you send a team while I write the check for Mr. Time here?"

Luna nodded. "We shall be with you within the hour."

With a last bow from both parties, the image faded and he put back on his necklace. He walked over to Mrs. Woods and put her on a nearby couch. After that he put a pillow under the mare's head. Then he sat down and pulled a joint from his belt pockets. Lighting with a single match he took a deep puff and sighed contently.

"Another job well done..." He said looking out the window that had a crystal clear view of the ocean and of the full moon. I am Wright Time, Ripper and Clock Maker

The Stoned Writers Club Presents - The Holy Crusade

One Week Later

Wright smiled brightly at his newly made clock. Another master piece made of wood, bronze innards, and two hooves pointing straight up. With his last clock of the afternoon done, all that was left to do is sit back, and relax. He already made six clocks that day, and was way ahead of schedule. So all he had to do now was make the rest of the day as best as possible while waiting for the client to pick up their order.

He stepped off of his stool and took a moment to admire his work on the grand grandfather clock he had finished. All properly stained, and  sanded, not to mention he crafted it from his very hooves. Truly a wonderful moment to have, he shared it with himself over a glass of the best wine he could afford. And he would drink while gazing up at his newly finished masterpiece.

Wright wiped his forehead and brushed back his bleach blond mane. His coat was a smooth chocolate color, and as he looked at the clock with his emerald eyes, he grinned. After that he walked up the stairs from his shop to his living area. His home sported two rooms with both having full master baths, and was two thousand five hundred square feet of space. Over all, he had a good job, good pay, sweet life.

After grabbing a bottle of Rainbow Drive, his favorite beverage of alcoholic nature, a shot glass, and a chair, he came back down and sat where he could see the front door and his finished work. He poured some of the dark blue liquid into the glass and downed it. It was past six, so it wasn't bad that he was drinking, it just meant that he couldn't drink to excess. This didn't stop him from pulling out his pipe and box of matches.

As he lit the bowl, the door to his shop opened up. First he watched as two guards walked in, then the princess oh the sun herself, Celestia walked in. She had on a small saddle bag, and was wearing the same sun-moon emblem he had around his neck. She had a smile on her face like always when she was around her subjects, and it wasn't like her visits to his humble shop and abode was out of the ordinary. No, she came to his shop every so often. Sometimes with a broken clock, or requesting one to be made. Other times, it was more than just that.

Celestia laughed as she smelled the burning herb. "That time of the day to take your 'medication' already Wright?"

Wright smiled while he inhaled through the burning pipe. The herb burnt brightly before he exhaled into Celestia's face. "Welcome princess." He took a moment to bow his head and looked back up at Celestia. "What can I do ya for?"

Celestia's horn lit up as she pulled out a slip of paper. "Here's your check for the contact of Mrs. Summer Woods. You did a good job, and repairs were done before dawn. She is sleeping peacefully in her home now that it is cleansed."

Wright looked down at his check and his smile grew wide. He looked to the guards at the entrance to his store, and back at Celestia. "You want to head up stairs? Have a friendly drink?" He paused to think. "If you have the time of course."

Celestia chuckled. "I would love to my friend. Guards?" They snapped their attention to her. "Stay there and guard the shop if there is a customer, come and tell us." They gave her a hardy salute. "Let's go then."

The two friends walked up to the living area of Wright's property. "I'd like to thank you for giving me the licence to take my medication once more princess."

"Please, call me Celestia, and it is no trouble. With all the pain and what-not, it must be very well worth it in the end."

Wright gave Celestia and himself two fresh glasses of Rainbow Drive. "How's work up in Canterlot?"

Celestia took a sip and smiled down at him. "Blue Blood wants me to stop funding the Crystal Empire, but he forgets that those bits are for the ponies who work to mine the crystals we sell to other kingdoms for a shared profit. Other than that, things have been calm."

Wright took another hit and coughed out a large plume of smoke. "R-*cough-cough* right! That's good then eh?"

She laughed and nodded. "I must say though...seeing how that herb helps you...perhaps it can be used to help the guards who have PTSD?" Wright noticed that she thought aloud and nodded. "You think I should legalize it?"

"Of course! Then I don't have to keep looking for new, trust worthy dealers! If you want me to continue my 'job' then you gotta stop cracking down on those so called 'major drug busts'. Seriously you spend how much on a few pot plants?"

Celestia realized his words and laughed. "Indeed you are correct, we waste bits on those don't we?"

He nodded again and leaned closer. "And think of how much you can get in profit!"

Celestia rolled her eyes and took the pipe from Wright and looked at it as though she were studying it. "Side effects are only minimal when it comes to those new medications coming out these days..." She was hesitant at first, but took a deep inhale while lighting the bowl with her magic.

Wright rolled back in laughter, realizing how fucked up he is, and how fucked up Celestia will get. "Have you ever...smoked before?" She shook her head, and he doubled back, clutching his sides.

Celestia felt a little tingle go down her spine. "Oh dear...." She gave him back the pipe and shook her head. "No more for me...for now. I'd like to see where this plays out." She coughed a couple times and smiled at him. "Any ways, there's another contract for you." She used her magic to hand him a scroll that was sealed with the royal seal.

"Straight from the top eh? What'd you need me to do?"

"My daughter Twilight Sparkle has found evidence that the spirit of the Nightmare is still in the old castle my sister and I used to live in before her banishment. She knows of you as much as I and is willing to pay a generous amount cleansing and defeating the spirit."

Wright took a look at the scroll.

Dear Wright Time,

There is an extraordinary amount of dark magic and corruption in the Castle of the Two Sisters. I have scanned it several times with magic and have concluded that it is best left to a professional like yourself. My mother has told me much about you, and of your strange abilities.You'd be most welcome in Ponyville and will get a reward of 30,000 bits. Do not worry about damages as I have already placed a spell to prevent further damages. I hope you accept this contract. You are not known for rejecting a pay this large, but stranger things have happened before. We can further discuss your payment further if and when you arrive in Ponyville. Tell my mother to send this contract with your name on it as proof that you have accepted, and I have time to set you up with the best room in the castle.

Sincerely,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

Wright scratched the scruff on his chin and hummed in thought. This contract wasn't from just a normal pony who's heard about him, this was from the crown. He looked up at Celestia and sighed. This was going to be hard to say no as it was from his best friend's daughter. Now he had eleven people who knew about his powers that he had to worry about.

"This sucks some stanky ass Tia..." He groaned, taking another hit off his pipe and downed a shot. "But I'll take it, need the bits anyways if I'm going to pay for my next shipment of supplies for my clocks..."

Celestia gave him a magical quill and he sighed the contract. It burst instantly into flames as he dotted his 'i' in Time. Leaning back he covered his face with his hooves. "Next stop Ponyville, the Town of Mares."

Celestia stood up with a nod. "I'll get you a first class ticket. How long do you think it'll take you this time?"

Wright thought about that question himself. It was a castle, two thousand years old, lots of dark hallways, infused with dark magic, and is in ruins. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to rip of the contract he had just signed. It could take him up to a month to cleanse it, and another week to draw out the spirit. Further dangers included such as traps, said demonic spirit would try to kill him while he tried blessing the grounds. He fell forward and hit his head on the table only to give out a depressed groan.

"There goes my high..."

Celestia frowned sadly. "I'm sorry..."

Wright waved a hoof. "It's fine, I got a friend who can fill in for me. COPY CAT!"

With a flash of green fire from a nearby lamp, out from it came a Changeling. "Yes master!?" She ran over to him and bowed.

"You have a Changeling?" Celestia asked, eyes wide with surprise.

Wright nodded to Celestia and looked at Copy Cat. "I need you to fill in for me while I'm gone for a month and a half."

Copy Cat bowed. "Yes master! I will not fail you!"

He smiled and slowly pet the changeling. "Good girl, when I get back I'll give you the best day of your life." A smile grew on the Changeling's lips.

"Thank you master! I work extra hard then!"

"You pay it with what exactly?"

"Sex." They both said at the same time.

"And why do you have her with you?"

"Because I don't know a single pony that can turn into me to cover for my absences at the shop. Despite how much I get paid, I still got to keep this place up somehow. Plus, it lowers suspicion."

Celestia sighed. "Alright, I'll work on citizenship papers for her then. She...she doesn't actually hurt ponies does she?"

"Only intruders." Copy said with a smile. "I get extra love for dealing with them, right master?"

Wright nodded and Celestia sighed. "Alright, I guess today got interesting then for me. I smoked weed for the first time, and I met a changeling that's now on our side."

Wright winked with a toothy grin. "Yep!"