Chapters Shattered And Heartbroken
My name is Soul Shatter… and I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember. I’m seventeen and live with my brother, who I am very, very lucky for. He’s been there for me through thick and thin. But my life... to be honest, it really sucks. It drags me down horrible and broken states to chew and spit me back out worse than before. The school I attend, Canterlot High, is full of people who couldn’t even spare me a passing glance. And it hurts... a lot. I don't know why they choose me to pick on when I’ve never done anything to wrong them. Usually I get pushed around by the rich-ass Blueblood. He's very popular, has the 'handsome prince' looks, has the money, has... everything. Me? Piss poor. Many people don't want me as a friend, and that’s just how my life is. No friends, no nothing. Life to me... it’s like a cancer.
But yet, one person, ONE PERSON, has kept me alive. Not my brother, though he's good, he is never here almost all the time due to his position in the military, but a certain girl. One I never thought would come near me.
Rarity.
She has looks, loves fashion, and is very generous. She cares a lot for people, and you don't really see girls like that all the time, especially at Canterlot High. She has been my one and only friend for the longest time. She talks to me, hangs out with me… everything. Without her I would be shattered and heartbroken. Matter of fact, you… probably wouldn’t be hearing from me right now.
Yeah… I’ve tried before.
I was amazed on how long I have lived and stayed here. I mean, with Blueblood being the school douche and fucking with me on the daily, I’m still standing. My parents both died in a shooting back when I was ten, and I had to move with my brother. My brother, while meaning well, wasn’t exactly the best role model, but I’ve stayed with him ever since. He really cares about me since I’m the last piece of family he has left. But once again, Rarity has helped me out. I don't know if she knew anything about how torn up I am about my depression, nor do I think she knew about my depression at all. She has been the greatest person in my life, and since she became my friend I began to grow on her. She’s adorable, cute, funny… so many perfect things.
It’s pretty obvious now, but I’ve had feelings for her for a long time. I just don’t know when I’m going to make a move on her, but hopefully soon. My biggest fear is that she’s already with someone else. I love her deeply, and if she didn’t really take to me... I’d just have to meet with fate, I guess.
But today… something different happened. I was lying on my bed, doing nothing in particular. My phone buzzed, breaking me out of my thoughts and causing me to jerk around, looking for it. Leaning down from my bed I spotted it with its screen lit, casting light on the bottom of my mattress. Reaching out I attempted to grab onto it and pull it out from under my bed, finally grabbing it enough to slide it out and into my waiting hand. I roll back onto my bed, looking at my phone screen. It was a text from Rarity.
“Hello darling,” the message read, “wondering if you’re willing to attend a party tomorrow?”
I… I’d never been to a party before. My anxiety began to kick in, making my heart race, but I pushed it back down. This could be a great opportunity to spend some quality time with Rarity… even if I do have to see other people.
I opened my messaging application and my fingers were flicking over the virtual keys almost immediately.
“Sure, where at?”
My phone buzzed once again and a message popped up with an address. My eyes suddenly widened. The party was... tomorrow?! That’s Rarity’s birthday!
“... your birthday’s tomorrow, right?” I texted back, swallowing. “Is this the party?”
Three agonizing minutes later and my phone buzzed again, her message containing only one word;
“YES! :)”
“Awesome, see you there!” I quickly replied, getting off my bed. This was perfect! I could get her a great gift with the money I had been collecting and saving for myself. Running to my closet, I opened up the drawer where I keep my paper money, counting it quickly. Nine hundred dollars. I stuffed it into my pocket, tying my wallet into my pocket just to make sure I wouldn’t lose it, and walked downstairs. Slipping my shoes on and getting out the door was easy, and I breathed in the crisp autumn air. Now came the hard part… finding out what to get.
I walked for a few minutes before stopping in front of a jewelry store, my eyes catching on the beautiful metalwork inside.
“Perfect,” I thought. Rarity loves fashion, and if it’s fashion she loves, its fashion she'll get. I looked around at the display cases, stopping on every piece of sparkling fancies. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a yellow glimmer and I turn towards it, my eyes stopping on a beautiful gold and silver braided bracelet. I rushed over, admiring the craftsmanship and metalwork of the braided metals. Keeping the product number in mind I turned to head to the register, but right behind me was a beautiful diamond necklace. The diamonds were polished to perfection and the three violet hearts inlaid in the design shimmered gracefully in the artificial retail lights.
However, my heart sank when I read the price tag. The whole store was on a sale, but it wasn't really enough to get this exquisite piece of jewelery down to my price point. I looked at it for a while longer, not noticing as an employee walked next to me.
"Gah!" I yelled, frightened to see a large man in a nice, checkered suit standing next to me, staring at the necklace. "Oh, uh, sorry..." I muttered, blushing. However, once he saw the price tag of the item I was looking at, he smiled and turned to me, tilting his head up to look me in the eye.
"So, sonny boy," he said in a deep but calming voice, "how much money do you have? You look a little disappointed, probably because you just can't buy it, am I right?" He was right. I nodded.
“I’m down one-fifty,” I explained, holding out my wad of cash to him. He took it and counted, smiling.
“Right you are, unfortunately,” the man frowned, but then there was a devious twinkle in his eye as he spotted something else. “What’s that around your neck, there?”
I raised an eyebrow, wondering what he meant before I looked down and saw my necklace. I had forgotten I was wearing it… I’d been wearing it so long. This necklace… i-it belonged to my parents. This was like the last tangible I had from them that was solidly my own.
“... this necklace?” I asked, rubbing at the golden chain and polishing the shiny lion pendant that hung from it.
“Do you want to buy this necklace?” I nodded, looking back at the diamonds. I knew that Rarity would love it...
"Well, alright,” the man thought for a moment, “let's make a deal. You give me that necklace and the cash you have, and you’ll just have bought yourself this fine diamond necklace."
… pay or don't pay? This necklace was from my parents… but I knew that Rarity's gift was more important than this necklace. Besides, they weren't the sweetest to me, even in hard situations with kids at school.
I handed him the necklace and all the money I had on me.
"Nice." he said, smiling brighter. "Well a deal's a deal. Here you go." He grabbed the diamond necklace from the display case and put it in a small, black box. "Might I ask,” he inquired, “are you buying this one for a special someone?" I nodded.
"Yes. She's the sweetest, and her birthday is tomorrow. I want to give her the best gift she can get." I felt a little weird after saying what was on my mind, but the man smiled nonetheless.
"Well, I hope she's happy with the gift." he said, patting me on the shoulder. "Take care, kid."
I left the store, the door swinging shut with the distant jingle of bells. I weighed my gift for Rarity in my hand as I walked, feeling the rough edges of the cut diamond on my hands. Now all I had to do was wrap it and give it to her at the party.
God… I hoped she likes it…
Author's Note
Enjoyed?
Shattered And Heartbroken
My eyes were still open as dawn graced the horizon, and I hadn’t gotten even a wink of sleep the night before. I looked to my side and saw the small, black box. In there was Rarity's dashing new necklace she was going to receive. Now, all I had to do was wait for the time. The party was at three, and it was eight… it was going to be a while. My brother wasn't home, like always, and so I spent the morning alone. I grabbed a purple shirt and put on my black jeans. I watched TV, had cereal, and listened to tunes on my phone. I listened to the calmest and most happiest songs, just to keep me at my happy state, which can be lost pretty fast due to my chronic depression and anxiety. But time moved fast.
After a couple of shows, the time finally reached close to three in the afternoon. My phone buzzed and I looked at it to see a text from Rarity.
“Coming?” it read. I opened my messages and started texting another message to her.
“Yep,” I texted, “see you in a little bit.”
With that, I started to get ready. I pulled on a hoodie, slid my feet into my shoes, and grabbed the jewelry box. I really hoped Rarity would love this gift… it cost me all of my money and a necklace from my deceased parents, which is pretty harsh. This meant a lot to me, and hopefully it would all be worth it. Checking my phone and pulling up the address, I noticed it was fairly close to my own house.
I walked out the door and took a nice walk to the address. The wind picked up and gave a nice breeze, ruffling my dark hair and causing me to shiver slightly under my hoodie. Along the way, I plugged in my earbuds and played music, nodding my head to the beats coming from the device. The looks of this area were nice, and it brought even more of a fresh smile to my face. This was going to be a good day.
I finally walk and see a big, white house with a balloon in front of it, as well as another kid knocking at the door before stepping inside. Walking to the porch and checking the address, I confirmed that yes, this was the house. I opened the door and stepped inside, where there was already a number of conversations going on. My eyes caught a clock hanging on the far wall, reading quarter past three. My eyes began scanning the immediate area before a hand clamped onto my shoulder, startling me.
"Hey, Soul!" said a high, energetic voice, which caused me to jump and almost drop the present that was in my hand. I looked behind me to see a friend I forgot to mention. She’s energetic, funny, and fascinated by just about everything. She's pink with poofy hair, and her name was Pinkie Pie. "How are you doing? I didn’t think I'd see you here, to be perfectly honest." Well, you and me both…
"I'm doing fine. Rarity invited me yesterday, and I hope this is going to be a good time." With that I give off a little smile, hiding the present in my hoodie pocket. But Pinkie notices it.
"What's that?" she asked, pointing down at my hoodie pocket. I looked down at the hoodie pocket where my hand was shoved, and I decided to show it real quick. Just the box, of course, I didn’t want to give anything away.
"Here," I said, pulling out the box. "It's... Rarity’s present. It cost me all my money… I just hope she, you know, likes it…” Pinkie tilted her head to the side, leaning in to take a closer look. I pulled at the collar of my hoodie nervously. "Listen, just... please let me be. I just need go find where Rarity is. Just… to give her this right now or something."
Pinkie then gasps, confirming my fear that she would know what it was. "You got her jewelry?" she asked, pointing at the logo on the box. "That's so sweet of you. Surely she'll love it!" I turned around, but she got me again, pleading with puppy-dog eyes. "And—please don't be mad—but can I just take a little, eensy-weensy, teeny-tiny, quick look at what's inside?"
I sigh heavily. Sure, she was a friend who made me laugh, but at times she was a definite pest. A very hyper pest, at that.
"Alright, fine,” I conceed, pulling out the box again. We moved into a place where nobody would see us, and I opened the box in front of Pinkie. She saw the stunning design of the diamond necklace with the sparkling, violet hearts in the middle. I then closed the box five seconds later. "There." I said. "I mean, I've been next to Rarity for a long time, and she's nice and caring. So, I thought of giving her this, and it cost just about everything, so I really, really hope she loves it.” I had a quick mental debate with myself, ultimately deciding to tell Pinkie the next part as well. “Matter of fact, I'm going to even ask her to be my... well, you know, girlfriend."
"Aw!" Pinkie squealed, pulling me into a bone-crushing hug. "That is so nice! That must have cost a fortune! Surely Rarity will absolutely love you!" Hopefully…
I looked around. "Pinkie," I asked, making sure the box was hidden in my hoodie once more. "Have you seen Rarity anywhere?" She nods.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've seen her," she said, putting her finger on her chin and looking off into space. "Hmm... oh! Yeah, I remember.” Pinkie pointed behind us and turned towards the living room. “She was over there, on the couch." I turned around to see a mass of kids talking and laughing in the living room. My anxiety reared again but I forced it down, swallowing.
"Thanks, Pinkie." I said.
"No prob, Soul." she said. "Hope everything works out!"
I turned around and entered the fray of teens, trying to move with the flow of the crowd, hoping I wouldn’t bump into anyone on accident. I had the present still in my pocket, and tried to look for the pale girl with violet hair, probably wearing a fashionable dress.
I finally see a flash of violet, and I knew very well that it was Rarity. I opened my mouth to call to her, but as the crowd cleared I got a sight that stopped me in my tracks.
“No... This isn't possible…”
As I looked over to Rarity on the couch, there was someone else sitting with her. Blueblood the douche. And he was kissing her... on the lips. I... Why?
I clutched my chest and backed up a step, feeling tears starting to fight their way out and travel down my cheeks. I pulled out my present, and stared at it. Rarity had Blueblood by her side... Blueblood, the bastard, was Rarity's boyfriend. I had feelings for Rarity, and I wanted her as my own... but out of all the people she could possibly be dating now, it had to be him. Blueblood... the one who gave me hell.
I backed out and placed the small, black box on an end table, flinging open the house door and running down the steps. I sobbed, running as far away from the house as I could. I ran. I couldn't stop but keep thinking about all of this... depression and how much shit I had to put up with in life. I get bullied, picked on, my parents are dead... it was hell. And now, the angel of my life, the one who has kept me alive, Rarity, is now making out with Blueblood. Fuck me…
I ran faster and faster until I see my house. I quickly swing the door open, kicking myself for forgetting to lock it, and slam the door shut again. The house was totally silent. I sat down hard in a chair and use my fingers to nervously brush my black hair. I kept talking to myself, crying heavily, just thinking about the kiss. It's like I lost Rarity...
As I got up to look in the mirror, all I saw was my pathetic face. I had tears running down my cheeks constantly, my hair completely all messed up, I looked like I was gonna... finally do it. I had tension and hatred boiling up inside of me, finally making me snap. I smashed my forehead into the mirror, screaming as my reflection cracked and shattered.
I stepped back from the mirror, taking one look at what I had done. Shattered... broken... barely any glass left on it. Damn, my head hurt. I felt my head with my one hand, feeling a sharp sting where my hand met my forehead, and looked at my own hand.
Blood.
So much of it... I would look at myself again, but I felt like I might do it again. I was losing it, and I was in so much pain. Blood, pain, thoughts... fuck... I couldn't c-control myself...
But then, as I just grabbing my face, feeling like I was going to just rip my skin off, I saw something shiny... the reflection of a giant shard of glass. I felt like the world was violently shaking as I looked at it... I couldn't handle it anymore...
Back then, there was Rarity. Now, there was nobody.
That's what it felt like. I bent down, grabbing the giant shard of glass. I fell back against the wall, grasping the shard tightly, feeling the sharpness cutting into my palm.
And then...
Author's Note
What do you think?
Shattered And Heartbroken
— R A R I T Y ‘ S P O V —
God, what a horrible charmer. Blueblood... blegh! The way he kissed me, tried to charm me, he was simply pathetic and not a good guy. What a shocker. All because of a stupid bet I made with one of his stupid friends during one time, where I was supposed to ace one math quiz, and I botched it by having a B+. Oy vey. And I had to kiss him because I failed to do so... on my birthday. Good heavens. Disgusting
I washed off my tongue in the bathroom—admittedly rather dramatically—and then continued to enjoy myself celebrating my seventeenth birthday. Yet, I was wondering where Soul Shatter was. He should have been here by now. He had told me himself he was on his way, so what was taking him so long? Eh, maybe I'd find him in the crowd of people chatting in my house. I had some punch, a bite of watermelon, and the party was going rather well. I even cut the birthday cake already.
I saw Pinkie Pie, one of my best friends, across the room and walked up to her, feeling happy that so many people were having fun.
"Hello, Pinkie." I smiled. "So, how's the party?"
"Great!" she said, excited and happy. "This is really fun!"
"Darling…” I raised an eyebrow, “you always think parties are fun."
She shook her head. "No, really, Rarity, you made a real good party here! This is going great!" She bit into a strawberry that was in her hand, chewing loudly. "Are you enjoying yourself?" she asked, making me cringe as I saw a mouth full of strawberry.
Well… with Blueblood, not at all, but now... of course.
"Certainly, darling." I answered. I looked around. It’s been nearly half an hour, where was Soul? He was a good friend and always looked forward to talking with me. Maybe we're both missing each other in the crowd? "Pinkie, darling," I asked, "I don't suppose you might know where Soul is do you?"
Pinkie then looked at me. "Soul? Yeah, I saw him earlier. We had a little, small chat. Nothing much. Nothing at all happened. But after that, I couldn't find him anywhere. Like he just vanished." I tilted my head.
"Vanished?" I asked. "So, what... you think he might have left?" Why would he leave without even saying hello? Pinkie shrugged.
"Maybe, I dunno. Maybe we're both blind and can't seem to find him anywhere. Have you really looked everywhere?" she asked me. I nodded.
"Everywhere. No trace or anything. Oh, I certainly hope he didn't leave." Pinkie then had a questioning look on her face for some reason, right then.
"Hey," she said. "Are you saying he never talked to you at this party?" I raised my eyebrow.
"Well... no, I haven’t seen him yet," I answered. "Why?" Pinkie then opened her eyes wide, noticing she like said something wrong or uncouth.
"Oh, just wondering." she said in a tone that tells that there is obviously something going on.
"Pinkie..." I started. "I know there is something going on. Don't worry, tell me. Is something troubling you, darling?" Pinkie sighed heavily.
"Sorry, Soul," she whispered under her breath, “but you didn’t make a Pinkie Promise.” Pinkie then turned to me again. "Well," she started, "I did talk to him earlier, like when he just walked in, and I just said 'hi' to him. That was it... until I saw something on him. He had a little, teeny black box that was meant to be your present, and he said that he was surely going to give it to you because he said that you might like it. He asked me where you were." My eyes widened. He was looking for me? Pinkie continued. "But, he showed me it, and it looked so nice and beautiful, it was going to be cute. He said it cost him almost everything, and he said it was very special. I just thought he gave it to you when I told him you were just sitting on the couch."
With that said, I seemed to grow chills and feelings. He bought something with all his money, just for me? He was looking for me? I looked around again, trying to see if I could find Soul Shatter. But then, on an end table in the corner next to the door, I see a black box. It was small, and I turned to Pinkie.
"Is that it?" I asked, feeling kind of silly to think it might be it, but Pinkie nodded.
"It... it might be." I walk up to it and pick it up. I looked at it. Pinkie, who was by my side, put her hands over her mouth. "It is," she said.
I open the box, and see the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I… I had no words. In awe, I stared at the diamond necklace, and saw my reflection in the violet hearts. This thing was so expensive looking... no wonder it cost him all his money. This... this was beautiful. I put it around my neck, and started to feel my cheeks getting warmer and warmer. This was from Soul, and it seemed like... like he—
"P-Pinkie P-Pie?" I asked, struggling to speak. "D-Did he ever say anything about... you know… liking me?" I felt even redder from asking that question. He had seemed to be acting strange around me for the last couple of days. Pinkie nodded enthusiastically.
"Yes." she said. "He did say how much this meant to him, and he told me that he… ah… loved you." I made a small smile, then it got wider and wider. He loved me... and all this time, I never noticed. But then my eyes grew wide with shock. I thought I might have known why he left in such a hurry. Blueblood and I… No! No! No, it's not like that! I turned to Pinkie, my eyes as wide as dinnerplates.
"Do you know where he could be?" I asked. Pinkie shrugged. I started to worry then. "Perhaps he’s at his house..." I do know where he lives, considering he has a brother who is quite popular around here, being in the military and all. "I'll be back in a bit," I quickly told Pinkie, rushing out the door. I ran as fast as I could to Soul's house, the only place I could possibly find him.
Hopefully, this will all end happily...
Author's Note
Enjoyed?
Shattered And Heartbroken
I walked around trying to find Soul's house, and I soon saw it, rather drab against the orange and red backdrop of the autumn leaves. I quickly walked up to it and knocked on the door, but after waiting for an answer for nearly a minute of nothing I began to get worried. I couldn't handle the wait and silence from the house. I grabbed the door knob, and opened the front door. But I was not prepared for what I saw, not in the least.
There, in the kitchen, was blood. I looked down for a second, then stared at the ground. Not to avoid looking at the blood, but instead noticing the shards of glass on the floor. I got really scared and frightened.
“Is... I... I hope he's alright.”
All this glass looked like it had come off of a mirror that was next to me, hanging from the wall. This scene looked as though someone just came and murdered someone viciously. I certainly hoped that wasn’t the case, fighting back a bit of nausea that came into my stomach.
I walked a little further, stepping over the glass with my high heels, As I moved further into the room... I saw him. He was bleeding, with a big shard of glass next to his hand. I looked at him and his eyes were closed, but his chest was rising and falling. Thank God, but what in the heavens happened to him? Has he... no... I don't even think he would. Was he trying to... kill himself? Before going any further into the room I whipped out my phone, quickly dialing 9-1-1, explaining the situation and giving the address.
I walked over to his body and heard his raspy breathing, but also saw the blood on his arms. Two long, red lines, one on each arm... pooling onto the ground beneath him. How long has he been like this? I kissed Blueblood a long while ago, so Soul has been probably in this state for a long while, too. Tears rolled freely down my face, staining my own face with my mascara, but I couldn’t care less. I carefully and gently wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him. And I didn't care about the blood oozing on my favorite dress.
But then, I heard a gasp. And then a quick cough. He was waking up. I looked at his face, with both hands on both of his shoulders, and I smiled. I was so happy to see him awake and still be alive, but he didn't seem happy to see me. With a small groan, he spoke.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, annoyed. I frowned and tears started to come out once more.
"What do you mean?" I asked. Then I thought stupid. I forgot during the hug that this was because of me kissing Blueblood.
"I saw you... I saw you... kiss him..." he said, struggling to speak. Now tears were coming out, and started to mix with the blood on the floor. I was still surprised on how much blood he was losing and how he was still alive. I hoped the ambulance would be here soon.
I knew it, though. He saw me kiss Blueblood, and with Pinkie telling me that he cared for me and loved me, it must have been the absolute worst thing to see your crush kissing someone else.
"But, darling," I said, and then my voice was starting to crack. "I-I didn't mean for-" Then he interrupted me.
"No. NO!" he said, enraged. "You kissed my worst enemy, the man who wished me hell and gave me hell for my whole life!" He stared deeply and darkly into my eyes, tears flowing out fast. "Do you know why I'm still alive? Because of you." I widened my eyes. What does he mean? If I wasn't in his life... he'd be dead?
"Why me?" I asked. I was scared and wondered of what was going on. It wasn't like one day I used my body to save him from a bullet or something, I didn't push him out of the way of a car… why did he feel this way?
"Because you were the one that always made me smile and feel happy…” he trailed off, giving another long series of coughs, “and it was a good reason for me to be alive right now." he said, startling me. I-I... "You helped me throughout this time, and you might have never noticed. I was depressed through my whole life, but when you met me you extended your hand in friendship. And then I grew on you, and I loved you with all my heart." He half-smiled, then frowned. "But then, someone gave you the lips. Guess who?"
I sobbed, grabbing a towel from the kitchen counter and pressing it to the woulds in his arms, still managing to talk to him.
"Soul!" I shouted. "I didn't want to kiss Blueblood, but I had to because of a stupid bet I had with one of his retarded friends!" I then dug my head in chest and sobbed. I looked up at him. "And... I care about you, too. You have made me happy."
"For what?" he asked.
I took off my necklace and put it over his head, fastening it around his neck. "For this… and for everything," I told him. "I'm sorry I never saw this, nor knew this. You just... don't know how much it hurts to see another friend be hurt… that’s why I’ve helped you so much. I could feel your pain over the loss of your parents, over the fact that you get pushed around at school… I do love you."
I put my hand on his cheek, and leaned over. And we kissed.
With all emotions mixed up in this kiss, the kiss felt absolutely great. This was a messy situation, considering my friend tried to end his life, but I'm pretty sure that right now, I saved his. I could hear the ambulance in the distance, steadily getting closer. After all this time, he loved me and was in such a horrible state of depression... and I was the one who has made him think about staying here. Alive. The kiss lasted long, and then after a while, we broke our lips apart.
I looked deeply into him. "I don't love Blueblood, not even the slightest chance." I told Soul, who was then transforming his frown into a happy and heartwarming smile. "Who I do love, though, is you." I held the necklace that was wrapped around his neck. "This proves it. You paid a lot for this one necklace, and I know you love me too."
He chuckled. "Well, you are delicate and you do love shiny things. I thought this would be the perfect gift to make us... kind of a couple, you know?" he said.
I giggle. "Oh, trust me, darling. We're a couple." I held him close, but gently, and we were sitting there for who knows how long. He wanted me, so its me he'll get. I then held his hand, again not caring about how bloody and messy it was. He needed a lot of comfort, and I was there to give him it. I then wondered and thought of the future. Of how me and Soul would be… as a couple…
The paramedics threw open the door, seeing the two of us on the kitchen floor. I stepped away fr0m Soul, allowing them to get to work mending his cuts and gashes. One of the paramedics took me outside and consoled me, holding my hand as I cried even harder. Emotions flew around in my head as I saw Soul carried out, tied to a stretcher, by two paramedics. He was loaded into the back of the ambulance and I got in with him, holding his uninjured hand all the way to the hospital, the sirens and lights keeping us company all the way there.
But now, he was happy and was in good care. All thanks to me. Back then, he was shattered and even heartbroken. Now, he is happy. Soul was never broken ever since then...
Author's Note
I hope you enjoyed! Please read my other stories if you did! I got romance! But please, don't commit suicide, and help friends with depression. #StayAwesome
