The Swan Song of Celestia

by Frogmyre

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1194

Princess Celestia is most definitely not a swan. Not in anyway whatsoever.

Princess Celestia is certainly not a swan. Nopony would say that, not at all.

Published 2015-08-05 06:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-05 06:40:02 UTC

Swanlestia

The raising of the sun. Considered one of the most important events in all of Equestria, for it could only be performed by one pony, Princess Celestia. To be invited to witness the rising of the sun was a great honor, given only to those who belonged to the day court, the other princesses, and close friends of the princess herself.

It was a day like any other, although there was a notable lack of coffee in castle. This had been reported to both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, for the two princesses practically ran on coffee, and without it the sun would never rise. A well recorded event, in the early annals of Equestrian history, was The Great Sleep In, where neither of the two princesses could be awoken from their deep naps. Contemporary reports state that crisis was averted with the liberal use of a feather, a long stick, and several renowned earth pony singers.

But the lack of coffee could be dealt with, quite easily. The princesses had their own private coffee mills, devoted solely to providing them with coffee. And yet, there was still something odd about Celestia, as she sat on her throne, the very picture of nobility.

The earth pony, currently sitting in front of the throne, continued his treatise, "-so you see, Princess Celestia, by signing this here treaty," he indicated a piece of paper, currently laying in front of him, "we are guaranteed that exports will rise by twenty, maybe even thirty percent!" He had a brown coat, a small hat on top of his head, and a pencil behind his ear. His cutie mark was a brown bag, filled to overflow with golden bits.

Princess Celestia trumpeted loudly,"Hoonk!"

"But Princess Celestia-" the earth pony started,

"Hoooonk!" interrupted Celestia.

"But Princess-"

"Hooooooooonk!"

"But-"

"Honk! Honk honk!" she trumpeted quite clearly.

"Oh, fine. Have it your way," grumbled the disgruntled earth pony, as he tore up the piece of paper, and put the scraps under his hat.

He promptly turned around, and walked out of room. As he passed through the exit, he saw the Princess of Friendship herself, Twilight Sparkle. He bowed to the princess, and asked her, "What brings you to the day court?"

"Oh, Money Bags, I didn't see you there," said Twilight, as she stopped to talk with him. "I'm here on official princess duty," she explained, as she gestured to the bundle of scrolls over her back. "How about you?"

"I had a treatise I wanted her to sign, to help expand the mining industry. The demand is skyrocketing, and I could make so mu- Er, that is, we could make so much money, if she had just agreed to increase the territory," he explained, a gleam coming over his eyes as he talked about his favorite thing.

"Hm, I wonder why she didn't," said Twilight, more to herself than to Money Bags. "I'll ask her about it when I get the chance," she said.

"Good luck with that," grumbled Money Bags. "Something seems up with Princess Celestia, of that I'm sure," he finished, walking out of the room, a grimace on his face.

"What on Equestria could be wrong?" pondered Twilight as she entered the Court herself.

"Announcing Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship!" exclaimed a courtier positioned near the door.

Twilight glared at him, as she didn't like it when anypony did that, no matter their position. She walked up to the throne, and looked up to the princess, and said, "Princess Celestia, I brought those scro-"

She was interrupted when she looked up towards the throne. Sitting on top of it, was none other than a swan. It was a very majestic swan, and one that resembled Celestia a little bit, but it certainly wasn't the princess. The swan trumpeted, "Hooooonk!"

"Well, greetings to you-" Twilight stopped herself mid-sentence. She looked at the swan, even flew up and examined her... and she was a regular swan in every conceivable way. A flurry of ideas occurred to her, among them that Princess Celestia had been kidnapped, that the swan had deposed her, and even that a new swarm of changelings had invaded Canterlot. She shook her head to dismiss the crazy ideas.

"Honk, honk, HOOOOOONK," Swanlestia said, flapping her wings violently.

"I'm sorry, princess, but I just wanted to exa-" Twilight, again, placed a hoof in her mouth to stop herself from talking. Walking up to the closest guard, she leaned in, and asked him, "Does something seem... off, about Princess Celestia to you?"

"No sir!" replied the guard, saluting and avoiding eye contact with Twilight. "She was like this when I reported for duty this morning, and she hasn't changed in the slightest since then.

Twilight sighed as she walked away. Clearly there was either some powerful spell over the swan, or the guards just refused to acknowledge that something was wrong with the princess.

An idea occurred to her. Running out of the day court, she made her way to the royal bedrooms. She hated to wake Luna whilst she was napping, but in a situation like this she had no choice.

She knocked on the door, but heard no response. Figuring that Luna was simply asleep, she slowly opened the door and peaked in. And there was Princess Luna, tucked under the covers, sleeping like a foal. Twilight called out, "Luna," in a soft voice.

No response. Twilight raised her voice a little bit, then said, "Luuuuuna," for the second time.

Still no response. "Luna!" she finally yelled, getting tired of being subtle. But still, no response. Sighing with exasperation, she closed the door and walked back.

Behind the door, the Luna plush fell out of the bed and landed on the floor.

Twilight, now back in the day court, walked up the swan, and started to say, "So, what ar-"

"Honk, honk, honk, HOOOOONK, honk," interrupted Swanlestia.

"You're kidding me," said Twilight, as she listened closely to the swan's explanation. "Please, go on," she said.

"Honk, HOOONK, honk," started Swanlestia, flying off of the throne and waddling towards Twilight. "Honk, HONK HONK, honk," she trumpeted. "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK," she finished triumphantly.

"That... actually makes a lot of sense," replied Twilight, as she watched the swan fly back up to the throne with a few flaps. There was just one thing she had to do now.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have known you for many years now, first as a student, then as a friend, and now as a fellow princess. And because of this, I would like to ask you a question:

What kind of spell did you use on the swan? Such advanced magic is beyond even me. All I know is that through some use of magic, you have loaned a small part of your personality to this swan, and cast a spell to allow other ponies understand her.

Sincerely, Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship.

P. S. Next time you take a vacation, can you let me know beforehoof?
P. P. S. Also, why not take Luna? She's as deserving of a vacation as you.