And they shall know no fear

by Naroe_Clan

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Science Fiction, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Zecora, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 11891

The Adeptus Astartes, great defenders of mankind. Unless they're just some guy who's been thrust into being one due to the whims of fate and some sort of extra-dimensional being. (a displaced story.)

The Adeptus Astartes, great defenders of mankind. Unless they're just some guy who's been thrust into being one due to the whims of fate and some sort of extra-dimensional being. Especially so when that guy is weird, possibly likes classical literature a bit too much, and might be a little insane.

A displaced story and my first story that I've shared anywhere, so please be gentle with your scathing comments.

Warhammer 40k/MLP crossover. all copyrights to their respective owners, Games Workshop and Hasbro.

Published 2015-05-19 13:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-06 02:34:06 UTC

Chapter 1

Our story begins in a garden outside a royal castle. This particular garden is considered by most of the locals to be almost an outdoors museum. This is due to the statues of famous historical figures and previously defeated enemies of the state scattered throughout the fancifully trimmed hedges and flowers.

I think we all know the place and that it is in a land of colorful talking equines, but this specific version of the garden features a rather interesting difference from the one that is generally thought of.

In this garden is a statue that is very different from every other present. This is a statue of a bipedal figure far different from any other creature upon this world of myths, monsters and almost disturbing amounts of adorableness.

This statue is considered by many to be one of the few truly terrifying things that could be seen anywhere in the world without actually entering extraordinary peril. The statue is several times as tall as any normal pony, has massively proportioned limbs and body, very oddly large shoulders and a head that looks like some odd creature's skull. The statue is posed with it's arms crossed and feet apart, staring defiantly forward. But none of this is actually the reason for the statue's reputation. That is due to the feeling of base, instinctual terror that comes from just being near the statue. Even many of those who have been called brave have found that they can barely enter this aura of terror before their animal minds take over and they flee from the unmoving stone. Only a very few creatures know the reason for this magic, and none generally tell others what that reason is.

This statue has stood in this one spot for a little more than a thousand years. In all that time it has seen use as a meeting area when secret and terrible deeds are planned, as a spot to send new recruits as an entry ritual for the palace royal guard, as the location where some long-forgotten noble had found it oddly fitting to end the lives of competitors or unfortunate servants nearby this uncaring gaze of stone and terrifying aura, and many other things, most of which were terrible if only due to very few good souls wanting to even see the statue. During all this time the statue has never moved, never crumbled, never seemed to do anything other than stare toward the far-off horizon in silent defiance.

But the mind that was sealed inside the statue has not been asleep during this time. In fact, if we were to listen to that mind's thoughts at this moment we would hear it's activity quite clearly, and we would hear singing.

Or more accurately we would hear a deep voice repeating the word “bored” to itself over and over again at different speeds and tones to the tune of the star wars imperial march. A somewhat odd thing coming from the aforementioned statue of terror, but that is in fact what you would hear at this moment. That is, until this singing is interrupted by the statue receiving a visitor...

It is actually a rather boring night at the moment, though only because I haven't had any of my regular visitors recently. Some shadowy groups who meet around me because they think that no one will hear them are often the only excitement I get some months. Blueblood and his regular crew are a couple weeks late for their usual meetings. As I continue singing to myself I hope that I’ll hear some mention about them from one of the other 'secret societies' that'll be along in a couple nights.

bored bored BORED bored BORE-bored bored BORE-bored. Bored bore......well that's something I haven't seen in quite a while.

And indeed, I haven't seen the dark purple mist which is materializing in front of me since several years after I had been petrified.

I subtly shift the way I think my next thoughts in order to project them outwards. It takes a few moments longer than it used to. I'm far out of practice.

Oh me, oh my. A royal visit? Welcome, oh lady of the moon. To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?

The cloud stops moving just outside of my fear aura, floating in place for several seconds before morphing and solidifying into the younger of the local royal diarchy. Adorned in her ages-old armor she would be a rather intimidating sight if she was any taller than my stomach.

She gives my petrified form a rather vicious glare before saying “Greetings, imprisoned warrior. We have escaped from Our banishment, and We may have a task for thine self in exchange for freedom from your own imprisonment.”

Rather quick to get to the point, aren't we? I will have you know that I have actually gotten somewhat contented with my spot here over the past millennium. It is only technically much of a prison anymore, but please do tell me what task you have in mind.

At that, Luna smirks. “We know you too well for such a falsehood to deceive us warrior.”

...I suppose you might at that, but get to the point please.

Luna's smirk immediately widens in a way which makes her look somewhat insane. “We would ask you to spread chaos amongst Our sister's holdings in this city. We have imprisoned her henceforth within her own heavenly body, yet We are not ready to claim all of Our rightful domain at this juncture, but were you to distract the guardsponies we might well consolidate more of our power with which to do so.”

You want me to break things and distract the guard? Far be it for me to question you here, but wouldn't another of the prisoners here be better suited to that?

“He would be much to difficult for Us to control after his release. And as We remember, you demonstrated quite the aptitude for devastation in long-forgotten days.”

You've got a point there. Very well, I accept your task. How are you planning on getting me unfrozen though?

At that, Luna's smirk widens even further. Instead of answering me with words her horn darkens, sucking in much of the light around it. Even in my petrified state I can sense the massive amounts of power which she is gathering to herself. It only takes a few moments before she releases all of her gathered magic in a ray which encompasses my entire form.

Immediately I feel my flesh begin to reform, and I can see my armor changing from granite back into the metal which it should be. It only takes a couple seconds before I feel the last of myself returning to what it should be, and I immediately start stretching out all of my muscles from the immense stiffness resulting from being frozen in stone for a millennium.

Luna looks very happy with the results of her spell, saying “We are pleased that you are enjoying your freedom, warrior. But remember your task or We shall destroy you.”

I turn towards her, chuckling before saying “Of course my princess. Anything you want.”

Author's Note

well that's been interesting to write. please do tell me what you think. I don't actually have anything more written at the moment, but if anyone asks for more I might well deliver.

Chapter 2: foreshadowing

After that comment the princess flies off towards the everfree forest, Probably to deal with some meddlesome heroines. I quickly finish my stretching and start walking towards a nearby pond to wash off some of the dust coating my armor.

Looking down at the perfectly smooth water, I gaze at my reflection for a while. In the light of the full moon I see my pitch black armor, trimmed with tarnished silver along the edges. I stare into my own reflected eyes, the red glow coming from the white skull-helm’s eye sockets is disturbing to see even after so long.

Shaking off the mix of emotions I get from seeing my reflection, I reach down and wash some of my armor with several splashes from strong swipes of my hand through the water. I stand up and turn my gaze towards the nearby palace, debating just how to go about causing minimal actual damage while still keeping my word.

I start walking towards the nearest door into the castle while I think. I'm thankful for just how over-sized the place is as I only have to duck down a little in order to enter into the interior of the castle.

I carefully close the door behind me before looking around at what appears to be just a plain hallway through the palace. I continue walking, not even trying to be stealthy since I've found it to be almost impossible due to the mass of my armor.

Shining Armor is worried. He heard only a few minutes ago that princess Celestia had vanished from behind the stage in Ponyville, and that his sister is recklessly leading a group of civilians into the one of the most dangerous places that she could find without even asking one of the royal guards present to accompany them.

However, despite his worries, Shining Armor is a pony of the royal guard and he has his duties to attend to before allowing himself to panic and chase after his sibling. His duty at the moment is to patrol the halls of the royal palace, and he is trying his very hardest to focus on that instead of his worrying.

Perhaps because of that, or perhaps because patrolling the halls is one of the most obscenely boring things that anypony has ever had to do ever (at least according to Shining and several other guards), Shining Armor takes quite a while to notice the floor beneath him shaking slightly every couple of seconds.

Upon noticing this, he stops his marching and looks around for the source of the shaking. As he looks towards the far end of the hallway he's standing in he spots a figure moving past from the left side of the T intersection.

Its head is almost scraping the ceiling as it walks, and its massive foot stomps down and causes another tremor through the stone floor. It seems to suck color from the world around it and spread darkness as it moves. As Shining Armor lets out an unwilling whimper its head slowly turns towards him and his attention fixes upon the pits of fire from tartarus within the visage of bleached bone. That fire fills his vision until the creature finally passes from view as it continues its march.

It takes Shining Armor almost a minute to recover enough to recognize what he saw and to gallop as fast as he can to find his superior officer, leaving behind his spear and a small puddle.

I think about stopping and saying hi to Shining as I pass him and recognize him, but I remember what I'm technically here for and figure that just walking by him partially fulfills my end of the bargain. Also seeing him piss himself makes me remember that I'm still projecting out my fear aura, so I need to spend some time to fix that before moving on.

I open a side door and squeeze into a needlessly fancy storage area. Nodding in satisfaction that I shouldn't be disturbed I close the door and sit down on the floor to meditate.

After a few moments of preparation I breathe in deeply and expand my mind out into the area around me. As I breathe out I look at my physical self from inside the immaterium.

I sense the lines of power that I have attached to myself and spot the one made of fear. I carefully disconnect it and with even greater care dissipate it into nothingness, letting none of its negative form escape into the aether around me.

Before returning to myself, I look around and marvel at the calmness and serenity surrounding me. I look towards the boundaries around the world I am on, glad that they are still holding strong. I look even further out, hoping that the object of my worries is still far away.

As I reach my mind out to the limits of the bubble of calm, I feel it stronger than I hoped it would ever be. I quickly return to my body, fleeing not from the laughter I expected upon first entering the immaterium so long ago, but from the shadow growing ever closer.

Author's Note

If anyone knows just what I'm foreshadowing here, please no spoilers to those still in the dark. especially since it'll take a while before I elaborate further.

Also: I generally write rather slowly, and it may take me while to get another flash of inspiration like I had to write this chapter, so frequently update this story will not.
Also Also: the comedy tag is there because I intend to have things that I find funny where I think they'll fit, but I'm often rather dark with my humor. just wanted to mention that.

Chapter 3: happenings and histories

After squeezing back out of the storage closet I return to my wandering through the palace. After wandering for another hour and not seeing another living being, I'm pretty sure that I'm lost in some sort of magical labyrinth intended to trap anyone with a brain.

“That would be the fifth left turn down an identical hallway in a row. Stanley's narrator would be proud, I'm sure...” I growl after the aforementioned infuriatingly illogical hallway.

I round the sixth left turn and see the hallway continue off into the distance for several miles before being shrouded by fog.

I give the hallway a deadpan glare, mumble “Screw this friggin razza-frazzin...” and begin expanding my consciousness yet again.

I look through the immaterium and see that I have actually been walking this entire way due to some dimensional trickery and am not through some illusion as I suspected. Probably a magical intruder trap. Figures that I'd stumble into one of those as quickly as I did.

After flipping off the universe and the luck that I have within it, I start looking around for a way out. Flying through the walls around me with my mental self, I find that I'm surprisingly close to the royal throne room. I figure that that's actually rather perfect.

I look at the lines of power again and spot the one linking my mental and physical forms, and start pulling my body to where my mental self is through the immaterium.

Iron Wall has been the captain of the royal guard for as long as anypony can remember. She is a tough, over-muscled, grizzled old veteran who takes care of the ponies under her command by figuratively beating how to do things right into them.

So she's basically the stereotypical tough commander trope ponyified.

However, at the moment, instead of yelling orders or signing papers or such, she's standing next to princess Celestia's throne as per standard operating procedure for the princess being foalnapped. Nopony knows why there's a procedure for the princess being foalnapped, but it just so happens that there is, so everypony in the palace is following it to the letter if only to keep from panicking.

Iron Wall is contemplating whether that's actually the point of the procedure when her musings are interrupted by a hole in the universe opening up in the middle of the throne room and a giant, armored, bipedal figure popping out of it.

She should honestly be shocked by all of this happening at all, but instead she is shocked by just why it is happening now. The princess has disappeared, the night has lasted much longer than it should've by a couple hours, and now he shows up...

I look around after my teleportation, fascinated by how the throne room looks outside of the cartoon. It's honestly rather remarkable, but I'm interrupted by a only vaguely feminine voice growling out “Chaplain.”

I spin around and see a grey-furred, black-maned earth pony standing next to the throne, facehoofing. I stand there staring for a whole minute before breathing out “Bastion...?”

She finishes trying to rub away her headache before responding with “Iron Wall now, but that's beside the point. Why are you here? Or more, how are you here? You were petrified.”

I continue staring and simply respond with “Luna released me.”

Iron Wall looks confused at that for a moment before looking much more thoughtful and muttering “So the foalnapper...”

I nod and say “Yep. But that should be dealt with shortly. I'm still wondering just how you're here.”

“I'm sure you'll learn soon one way or another. You always had a knack for figuring things out.”

I laugh heartily. “I have a knack for a lot of things. Breaking stuff, figuring things out, reading minds, getting close to insubordination without actually crossing any lines...good times.”

Iron Wall smiles at that. “Indeed they were.” Then her expression becomes dark and sad as she says “But they were a long time ago, and you still haven't been pardoned for what happened. However, my duty at the moment is to be right here until such a time as the princess relieves me of duty, and so any old acquaintances or beings that I would normally have to arrest that happen to pass by should probably just move along before that happens.”

I stare at her for a few seconds longer before saying sadly “I thank you for your service, guardspony.” Before leaving, I salute her and say “Goodbye, brother.” as I send out my mental probe.

Instead of leaving my body behind, I pull it into the immaterium to wait for me as I find a location to teleport to.

Looking into the material world around the royal palace, I see that the sun has just risen, and so I decide that I should probably just head to the old sisters' castle in order to get things done with quickly however they go.

“SISTER?!” had just been exclaimed by six voices as my mind found the castle. I pick a spot in the shadows of the decrepit room to teleport to in order to be properly dramatic with my arrival. I listen to what's going on with only vague attention as I focus on making my arrival invisible. Let's just say I like theatrics.

I hear Pinkie have her little crying fit and say “Hey, you know what this calls for?” and I respond with “Probably a party if I had to guess.” And lean nonchalantly against a pillar in the corner of the room.

Everypony in the room swings around at that, and I raise an eyebrow inside my helmet as all of the mane six scream “AAAAAH A MONSTER!” in perfect unison.

Luna looks surprised at my arrival, unconsciously backing away slightly.

Celestia immediately lights up her horn and creates a golden shield around all of the ponies around her while she calmly walks forward to stand in between them and me.

She stares at me for several seconds, ignoring Twilight starting to pound on the shield and scream “No, princess! We can fight it too!”

She remains very calm, almost emotionless, as she asks me “Why are you here?”

“I'm wanting to know what's going to happen to me now. As I remember, my sentence was to be a lot longer than a thousand years, but I really don't want to be petrified again.”

Celestia remains unreadable as she stares at me for another several seconds. She drops the shield behind herself as she says “In my name, and by the laws of Equestria, I banish Chaplain from our land for the remainder of his criminal sentence. He has two days in which to leave before the law will require his arrest.”

I see a flicker of sadness get through Celestia's mask of control as I nod in acceptance of her statement. Luna isn't even trying to hide her sadness at what's happening, and the mane six are all looking immensely confused by whatever's happening in front of them.

Twilight raises her hoof and haltingly asks “Um...wha-what's going on, princess?”

Celestia turns towards her student and says “I'll tell you and your new friends when we get back to Ponyville.”

I stand straight and say “In accordance with your royal decree, I will leave your lands. Good day your highnesses.”

I then pull myself without ceremony into the immaterium and sit there for a long while, thinking.

The walk back to Ponyville proved actually quite boring, especially since nopony wanted to break the silence that covered the group.

Once all eight ponies got back to Ponyville, they were swarmed by every pony in the town asking questions and exclaiming how glad they are that Princess Celestia's back. It takes a good hour of explanations and excuses before the group sits down in the library tree.

Celestia sighs before saying “This is a very sad story, and parts of it also considered a state secret, so if anypony doesn't want to hear it please leave now.”

She looks around and sees that everypony looks determined to hear what she has to say. It makes her proud.

“Well, the story begins one and a half thousand years ago. Me and my sister were worried for Equestria, since the griffons and the minotaurs had formed an alliance during a time when every nation of the world was wary of all the others. They have always been warlike, and they fought all those around them, and we knew that they would eventually attack us if only because we had some resource they wanted or possibly just because they wanted to fight. The royal guard was even stronger then than it is now, but we would not have stood a chance against them if they attacked us.

They had even started gathering their forces when the creature you saw today walked out of the everfree forest. He introduced himself as Chaplain, and without us even asking he offered his help defending our land. He brought advanced machines of unknown origin and his own skill at fighting, and it was not very long before the griffons and minotaurs attacked and he showed us just what he was capable of. He attacked them mercilessly, killing every single soldier in their army before they could even fight back. He was very...efficient.

We were scared, but we knew that he was not bloodthirsty since he never killed any of the camp followers of the army. There was barely a scratch on the cooks and porters and families that followed them. They all fled and returned home, panicked but still very much alive. It took less than a year before the griffon-minotaur alliance fell apart once they heard what had happened. None of their leaders wanted to take the chance of having to face Chaplain ever again.

Even though he did such a terrible act, Chaplain spent the next several years atoning for his actions, finding the families of every soldier he killed and sending their families all the help he could. Some of those families are still wealthy from all that they received. After all this, he became a permanent part of our guard. There were still some enemies who wanted to attack Equestria, but Chaplain simply stood on our borders in their way and they all turned back. He didn't need to fight another living creature for a very long time, but he still defended us by simply being there.

After four hundred years of this, he came to us and told us he was scared. His unique powers had shown him something terrible that he was sure that he couldn't fight alone. He told us that he had been working on a way to make ponies who could fight like he could, and he told us some of his history so that we might allow him to do what he thought was necessary. That history is a whole other story, but he took three ponies, a unicorn, a pegasus and an earth pony and trained them.

It took a long time of strenuous training before he declared them ready for the next step. They went into massive machines where their bodies were altered. It took weeks before they exited the machines. When they did, they were stronger and faster and tougher. They could run through all the walls of a stone building, come out the other side and continue running. Chaplain trained them harder than ever, making them into warriors like he was.

It took an even longer time before he said that they were finally done. He gave them something that he hadn't even given us. He gave them his technology. He gave them suits of armor which made them even stronger, faster, tougher. He even gave them some of the weapons that he himself used. He called them and himself battle-brothers, even though two were mares, because in his words they were now equals in every way that mattered for their duties.

Everything went well for another century as he watched his battle-brothers grow, making sure that they were the best he could make them and that they were true to their duties. He had even begun gathering more applicants to become new battle-brothers when the troubles started. The unicorn of the group had grown restless and distraught. Even though he had been told and prepared for what would happen with his long life, he was devastated by the loss of his family due to age.

The unicorn went down dark paths. Chaplain tried to help him to see that what he was doing would lead him astray, but he would not listen. When he went into powerful necromantic magics to try to bring back what he had lost, we knew that he had become truly mad. We went to confront him, and he was so angered by us that he went on a rampage. He killed many ponies and enslaved even more before me and Luna confronted him and finally stopped him.

Even though the unicorn was no more, the ponies of Equestria had been damaged by his actions. They were so very afraid, and they called for all those like him to be destroyed so that they wouldn't be a threat any longer. Chaplain was devastated by what had happened, and willingly submitted himself to whatever punishment was in store for him due to the crimes of his former battle-brother. He was convicted of every crime that was committed and he was sentenced to spend his time encased in stone. And so me and Luna were forced to use our magic to petrify him.

And now, after a thousand years, he was released by princess Luna here earlier today. And that, my little ponies, is the story of Chaplain.”

All the ponies sitting around the royal sisters are staring at Celestia in shock as she stares sadly at the ground in front of her. Luna is leaning against her sister, staring at the same patch of ground.

Twilight breaks the deafening silence with a quiet “Wow.” which seems to be a signal for everypony to start asking questions all at once. This makes Celestia chuckle and say “that's enough for today, my little ponies. Me and Luna need to return to Canterlot. There is still a lot to do now that she has returned.”

After goodbyes are said and the sisters have left, the six friends all sit in silence around the table in the library, lost in thought. They each slowly say their own goodbyes and head home until it is just Twilight sitting alone.

She walks to the window and looks out at the beautiful morning around her, not quite seeing it as she thinks.

I thought that I needed friends. I guess that there are those that need them a whole lot more than I ever did. Good luck, Chaplain. Wherever you are.

Chapter 4: monsters and mourning

Author's Note

Arachnophobe warning. Stay away, many spiders ahead. For about three lines of dialogue.

Chapter 4: monsters and mourning

After a few minutes of thinking about what I would do next, now that I've been banished from Equestria, I remember a place I can be safe. I hadn't been there for years before I was petrified, but it should still be a good place to be for the foreseeable future.

With that in mind, I float through the immaterium seeking my home. I originally made the place as a fallback location if I was sent away by the royal sisters after revealing myself fifteen hundred years ago.

I find it rather quickly, since it has some presence in the immaterium due to a few of the pieces of technology that are within it.

I pull myself into what used to be my bedroom, still somewhat depressed. As soon as I actually look around myself I freeze. Once my brain starts processing what I'm seeing, I can only stare in disturbed awe and yell “HOW CAN THERE BE SO MANY SPIDERS?! This place was hermetically sealed! There shouldn't even be air in here but OH GOD-EMPEROR THE SPIDERS!”

There are no visible surfaces through the layers of webs. The webs also cross thickly though the air, in some places thicker than most normal ropes. And throughout the white webs, thousands of black spots move everywhere.

I waste no time in reaching my mind into the immaterium. I quickly start making a shape from the nothingness around me, forming it into something to take care of the phobia-inducing thing around me.

Back in the material world, it would look like I just pulled a odd-looking gun from nothingness, its basic shape just appearing and becoming clear in less than a second.

I finish creating the flamer, push a button on the side to ignite the pilot light and yell “BURN XENOS SCUM!” before pulling the trigger and filling the room around me with white-hot fire.

The webs burn into nothingness in mere seconds. The room around me remains alight due to the lasting nature of burning promethium. I breathe heavily through my suits rebreather, and walk towards the door out of the room intending to purge the rest of the base of infestation.

I press the button to the side of the door, thankful that imperial technology was built to last as the door slides up into the ceiling. The fire is immediately extinguished as all of the remaining atmosphere in the room rushes through the doorway, almost pulling me with it.

As the lights in the main area of my base start lighting up, I see no webs here, but I do hear lots of hissing as air enters the room behind me from a large hole in the wall that I didn't see before due to the webs.

I fully enter the main area and close the door behind me, cutting off the hissing and muffling some of the sounds from systems turning on around me.

This room is decent sized, with metal walls, floor and ceiling. There's nothing here at the moment, but I remember using it as a staging area for war machines many years ago. There are many doors of various sizes leading to areas containing all of the different machines I created over the years and rooms for my use and that would have been used by other space marines if my program had been successful.

I feel a thud through the floor and start hearing air being pumped into the room through vents in the ceiling. After a few seconds, a feminine voice intones “Welcome holy astartes. Command?”

I look at one of the speakers situated about the room and respond with “Command: systems check.”

I walk towards a medium-sized door for a few seconds before I hear a response of “Power nominal. Atmosphere generators nominal. Manufactories offline, ready for startup. Harvesters offline, ready for startup. Fuel depot offline, ready for startup. Servitor bay at zero percent capacity.”

I stop in front of the door and sigh, immensely sad. I know I shouldn’t have expected a miracle, but I had hoped...

I lean my flamer against the wall next to me and push the button to open the door to look contemplatively at what is within.

I see rows upon rows of individual pony skeletons, fused with machinery of every purpose imaginable. Every skeleton is still standing due to the wires and metal supports running throughout their bones. Before me stands every servant I created, long since rotted away.

Due to the sight before me, I remember my horror upon first summoning forth a tank from the immaterium. It came forth with a full crew minus a commander. That crew was made from one of the most numerous pieces of technology in the imperium of man: servitors.

Servitors are made for several reasons, but what they are is a person who has been lobotomized and had most of their body replaced with machinery so that they can better suit whatever purpose they will serve. It is beyond barbaric, but in the imperium is considered necessary.

For whatever reason, whenever I summon forth any machine that requires more than one person to operate, pony-bodied servitors fill every space that I myself would not fill.

At first, I refused to summon anything more, but then I resolved to learn exactly where these servitors came from. It took almost a month for me to summon enough scanning devices that I could examine those first servitors comprehensively.

Every one of those devices added up to an oddly comforting answer: I had made the entire body of the servitors. I did not take them from somewhere else, or worse, kill a random pony and change them. After that I resolved to not cripple myself on behalf of the nearly mindless automatons, but I would also treat them with respect.

In the current time, I walk towards the closest dead servitor and carefully pick it up, carrying it through the main area and into yet another chamber. This chamber is massive beyond most comprehension, and is made of row upon row of large metal containers in racks reaching up a couple hundred feet and off into the immense distance.

I walk past many closed columns of containers until I reach an open one, whereupon I lay the body within. I say “I inter your form into this metal granted by the omnissiah, for your service is over and you must now rest. Goodbye my loyal servant.” I then salute as I press the button which closes the coffin and raises the next into place.

I remain saluting for a couple seconds before dropping my arm and moving back to the servitor chamber. It'll take me several days to bury them all, but I have a duty, and it shall be fulfilled.

Chapter 5: dimensions and distraction

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 6: agility and ancestry

Applejack races ahead of her friends, muttering “Dernit, Applebloom” to herself every few seconds.

She just had to go after Zecora, didn't she. Won't ever listen to me warning her, will she... Well I won't let her get hurt, oh no. If that weird pony, or zebra, or whatever touches a single hair on her head she'll get what's coming to her!

The group stops for a moment as Rainbow Dash yells out “There they are!”, pointing to a red tail pulling around a bend in the path they're galloping along. They all pick up their pace for a few seconds before hearing Twilight ask “Does anypony hear that weird noise?”

Applejack continues running for several more seconds before she hears it too.

It sounds like something growling. Loudly. It's getting closer!

As one the group of friends realize that whatever is making the noise is behind them, and stop to spin around and see what at first just looks like a cloud of dust and dirt flying into the air, like some massive creature is running along the road without caring how much damage it does.

As the group all start to get ready for a fight or try to make themselves non-threatening, they start to discern a figure at the front of the cloud. Whatever it is, it's moving very fast straight at them and doesn't seem to be slowing down at all.

Upon seeing this, Fluttershy tries to hide behind her mane, Rainbow Dash and Applejack both enter fighting stances, and Rarity and Twilight begin charging spells on their horns as Pinkie Pie sits down and stares with a smile on her face.

The figure rapidly gets close enough to the ponies that they can discern that it is definitely not a natural creature. It is made of massive slabs and pipes of black metal with one rapidly spinning wheel visible to the group, and a white semi-spherical object attached seemingly precariously on top.

My entire sense of hearing is drowned out by the music inside my helmet as I ride towards the mane 6 on one of my specially designed bikes. I'm having great fun trying to see if I can get the thing to go even faster as the ponies rapidly get closer.

I wonder if painting the next one red would do anything. Something to try some other time. Getting to maneuvering spot in 3, 2, 1.

At the end of my mental countdown, I slam the brakes on, spin the bike to the side and thrust out my right arm to catch the ground. I bend my arm slightly as it impacts, taking the new crater in the road into my calculations and then push off and throw myself and my bike into the air and over the astonished stares of the ponies.

My calculations prove exact as I kick the bike further and roll to my feet, watching my vehicle land right in the middle of a patch of blue flowers, just far enough behind a certain Zebra and Filly and a good distance ahead of the other group of ponies still staring slack-jawed at me.

I turn around to face towards the main group and summon a pair of sunglasses to put over my helmet as I do so. I remain staring at them for another couple seconds before I see the flash from the firebomb on my bike detonating. It took me quite a while to get it set up just right so that it'll just make a quick flashy fire and not actually hurt anyone, but it was so worth it to see the looks on their faces.

Applejack continues staring blankly at the black behemoth before her group, vaguely remembering that he's called Chaplain or something. It's taking a little while for her brain to reboot after that stunt he just pulled.

Off to the side, both Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash airily mutter “so aaawesooome.” as Fluttershy tries to become even smaller. Rarity and Twilight seem to both be in a similar state as Applejack, evidenced by their mouths hanging open in almost the exact same way, although Rarity manages to look slightly disgusted at the same time.

Chaplain points at Pinkie and Rainbow and says “I'm glad that you two liked it. While we wait for your friends to become functional again, any comments?”

Both the ponies addressed start spouting off about how awesome that was, and how they loved the fire, and how scared they were, and other such things as Chaplain holds a hand to his chin and nods contemplatively at what they say.

Eventually, after Rainbow's third repetition of “That was totally awesome!” the rest of the group's brains have stopped going in circles or left their states of shock, and Applejack decides to speak her mind.

“Now listen here, mister! That there stunt was right reckless! Heck, you coulda hurt somepony if you were another couple a' inches down! You're dern lucky that you didn't hit... APPLEBLOOM!”

As Applejack remembers why she was here in the first place, she starts to rush forward only to be stopped by a massive hand blocking her way.

“Now I'm gonna have to stop you there.” Applejack quickly looks absolutely furious before Chaplain continues. “I know for a fact that your sister is fine and I'll show you shortly, but if you continued running then you'd get into all sorts of trouble and I think that your adventures in speciesism should end right about here.”

“Ah ain't bein' speciesist! That's ridiculous talk!”

“And how exactly would you explain cowering in fear and shunning a zebra because you thought she looked weird?”

Applejack continues to look defiant and opens her mouth for a rebuttal before she stops and thinks for several seconds. After that, her mouth closes with an audible 'clack' and she looks down at her hooves somewhat ashamedly.

At that, Pinkie cuts in with “But why was she digging in the street? And staring into windows? And being spooky and weird?!”

“Because she's wanting to shop for supplies and getting understandably frustrated when ponies shut their doors whenever she enters town. Trust me, taking out anger on the road and with glares is the least I would say she has a right to do.”

Pinkie reacts in exactly the same way Applejack had moments before. Sort of creepily exact when the other ponies think about it later. Chaplain sees Pinkie and Applejack looking sad and dejected and says “Now stop that. You both look like you just kicked puppies. C'mon and lets try talking to Zecora.”

Pinkie responds by bouncing up and yelling “Yay! Adventure trip with Grampa Pie!” which makes the rest of the ponies spin around to stare at her with weird looks on their faces.

Chaplain turns towards Pinkie and says “I suspected as much! You look just like your seventy-six times great grandmother! C'mere and give me a hug!”

And Pinkie does just that, leaping into his extended arms, disappearing for a moment behind his massive arms as he gently hugs her. The entire rest of the group stare in complete incomprehension at the whole thing, eventually managing to mutter “what?” all at the exact same time. Even Fluttershy manages to join in on the group's confusion.

Chaplain chuckles at this, lifting Pinkie up and setting her down upon one of his shoulderpads where she stands quite nicely as he says “Adoptive of course. I was lonely and wanted a family about fourteen hundred years ago so I adopted Pinkie's ancestor, cute little Angelcake. Anyway, world shattering revelations aside, shall we continue to Zecora's house?”

The rest of the ponies shake off Pinkie's heritage and agree, so they continue on through a clear patch of forest that was covered in blue flowers just a few minutes ago.

Chapter 7: zebras and zweihanders

“...So yeah, to cut a long zoological lecture short for those of us who weren't listening, zebras aren't actually different races of ponies like Pegasi and Unicorns.” finishes Chaplain as the group nears Zecora's house. Rainbow Dash looks up from her hovering position and shoots a half-hearted glare at him as he indicates he's finally done talking. Twilight walks next to him, listening intently as Rarity pretends to do the same. Fluttershy continues trying to hide behind Rainbow, glancing out from behind her occasionally only to dart back. Pinkie is laying down on Chaplain's massive backpack and snoring loudly, almost falling off every time she breathes in.

The group stops in front of the tribal-looking house, all of the ponies looking around cautiously. Chaplain walks up to the door and carefully knocks a few times. The group stares for a moment before the door opens, revealing a certain striped mare holding an ornate curved sword with one hoof. “Whosoever shall try...” Zecora stops for a moment to blink and look up. And up. And up again for good measure. “...oh my.”

Chaplain kneels and leans down so that he's only half again as tall as the zebra before saying “Greetings shaman. I would like to introduce you to this group of ponies who have evidently been part of your trouble with the local village, and let them attempt to apologize for their recent activities against your fine self.”

Applejack takes that as her cue to say “That's a long-winded way o' sayin' that he gave us a talkin' to and we sorta realized we've not been very neighborly and that we're right sorry.”

Zecora continues staring at Chaplain for a moment before answering. “I thank you for the sense, late as it may be. Though may I ask why it is delivered by a creature larger than many a tree?”

Chaplain chuckles at that, rocking slightly but evidently not enough to stop Pinkie's continued snoring. “My appearance may be strange, but I suppose that would most probably be because I am unique in this world. And as to why it is I who am partly responsible for delivering this message? I suppose that an outsider's perspective is required sometimes in order for a mistake to be realized. That aside, on to other business. Our entire group, and especially one of our number, would like to know where exactly a filly who came this way is at the moment.”

Zecora backs off slightly, looking suspicious and slightly angry. “Might you mean the one almost ended by fire? One upon which I saw you light the pyre?”

Chaplain bows his head slightly in deference to the zebra. “I do apologize for any danger you may have believed you and the filly were in, but I assure you that no one was in any danger from my pyrotechnic display. And now, whether or not you believe me a danger, you will bring forward the missing filly unless...”

In the middle of speaking Chaplain stops moving entirely, drawing odd looks from all the ponies around him and especially the zebra in front of him. After several seconds he reaches up to Pinkie, grabbing her and putting her on the ground next to her friends, fully awake in a way only Pinkie can be, at the same time as he quickly rises to his full height and turns around to face the forest.

Everyone continues motionlessly staring at Chaplain until they hear him say “Inside the house. Now.” in an emotionless monotone.

Twilight simply asks “What? Why?” as everyone else notices that the forest has gotten deathly silent besides the barely audible sounds of something heavily breathing coming from somewhere amongst the trees.

Chaplain simply responds by saying “Manticores.” in the same monotone as before. All of the ponies blood runs cold as they spot at least three barely visible scorpion tails waving in-between the branches. Zecora quickly moves out of her doorway and waves the others inside, suspicions momentarily forgotten.

The ponies peer around the doorframe and Applejack quietly says “Chaplain git in here. Them's dangerous critters.”

Chaplain seems to not hear her as he mutters “The forest appears to have forgotten me. I suppose a reminder is in order.”

He begins to walk towards the monsters, to the muffled protestations of the ponies. As he walks he reaches to the side and out of nowhere a massive sword drops from the air above him and into his outstretched hand. He gives it a few quick swings and then holds it at his side, continuing his march all the while. About halfway between the house and the manticores he stops walking, swings his sword vertically in front of himself and holds it there as he pushes a button on the crossguard, causing electricity to race up and down the blade in vicious arcs as the blade itself begins to glow an otherworldly blue.

He stands there for just a moment before leaping forward faster than any of the ponies can follow, swinging his sword as he disappears from view.

Author's Note

so yeah...writing occurred eventually.

so I'm following the cutie mark laboratories season one timeline for anyone interested. (linkage - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvhr1pdHSrI )

Chapter 8: fighting and friendmaking

I stop in between the house and the forest, standing there as I close my eyes. I steady my heartbeat as I breathe in. I notice everything in the world around me as I breathe out and open my eyes.

The racing hearts of a family of mice trying to be unnoticed. The smell of fear-sweat from a rabbit that fled moments ago. The eyes of six manticores staring hungrily at me and the leaves set loose by a wyvern amongst the treetop, waiting to scavenge their kills.

I breathe in once more and spring forward as I breathe out, upon the beasts before they can react. My sword swings to the right and up, slicing a scorpion tail in half. My spare arm reaches to the left to grab a tail as it plunges for my neck. A simple squeeze and I feel as much as hear the joint pop in a spurt of ichor. I spin around on my right leg, my left slamming into a leonine side, shattering bones and sending a body flying a dozen meters into a tree, making splinters fly off into the darkness.

Another swing of my sword severs a third tail, and a punch to a shoulder sends a second body crashing into another tree. I spin around and catch the last threatening stinger. I look into the beast's eyes, and I see fear. It tries to pull away in panic, but my grip is too strong. I raise my sword and press the tip to its throat, making it stop moving entirely.

The only noises in the forest are the pained yowls of the stingerless manticores, backing away from me, and the faint noises of movement from one of the distant beasts. This lasts for several seconds until “Stop!” is yelled from behind me. My head slowly turns around until I see eight equines staring at me with mixes of awe, fear and in one case, anger.

Fluttershy is trying to Stare me down, but it has little effect. “Let him go! He did nothing to you!”

I tilt my head slightly but keep my arms motionless. I keep my hold on my emotions and monotonely respond “Incorrect. He and his pack tried to kill me and all of you.”

Fluttershy seems to deflate slightly at that, but still has some steel in her voice as she says “But that still doesn't mean you can hurt them!”

Some steel enters my own voice as I respond with “No it doesn't. It means I can kill them.” At that, she realizes that she's trying to look threatening to a creature that just dealt with an entire pack of massive, lethal creatures in just a few seconds. She leaves a streak of color as she retreats behind a nearby bush.

All of the others back off slightly and I turn back to the motionless manticore. I stare into its eyes for another few moments before lowering my sword, releasing its tail and leaning back slightly.

Everything around me stops for just a second before I release a roar directly into the thing's face, making a deafening amount of noise for several seconds during which every other manticore flees into the distance and the equines have their hooves clamping down on their ears.

The manticore wastes no time vanishing after its packmates to the sounds of birds protesting in the distance. I stare after it, making sure it's gone before I vanish my sword into the immaterium and turn around to face the ponies.

They are all afraid. They saw me fight. They heard what I said, and know that I meant it. They are too innocent for this. They are too innocent for me.

I look down at the ground, sighing. “You should all head home. The manticores won't be back, and it's likely none of them will ever threaten any of you again. This forest and its creatures remember me now, and most now know that I will protect you. But there are still dangers here.”

I turn back towards the forest and begin walking into its depths without saying anything further. They all watch me go with mixed emotions before following my advice and leaving, first to Zecora's house to have a heartfelt discussion, and then to their own homes to think on the day's events.

Twilight enters her treehouse late in the evening, tired from running and walking all day. “Hi spike. I'm home.”

“Twilight! What happened? I've been worried all day!”

“Well, first we went after Applebloom, then Chaplain tried to run us over with some smoke-spewing contraption, then we went to Zecora's house and were almost attacked by manticores but Chaplain fought them off, then we had a chat with Zecora - we're friends now by the way – then we all came back to Ponyville.”

Spike looks a little dumbfounded at that, but eventually responds with “......um...are you okay?”

“Yeah, but I need to send a letter to the princess, okay?”

Spike scrabbles around for parchment and a pen for a few seconds before saying “Ready!”

“Alright. 'Dear Princess Celestia...”

Chapter 9: wanderings and wonderings

I walk through the forest, wandering with no direction. I barely catch glimpses of a few creatures as they run from my presence, but I can hear the heartbeats of dozens more hiding in panic within their burrows. The forest remembers me now, and through it, the creatures fear me.

As they should...

But some part of me remains saddened by the necessity I see in making this place know to never mess with me. The magic here creates terrible creatures. Some of the most dangerous animals on this world come from this place. But that same magic also creates some of the greatest beauty I have ever known, and by the same carefully cultivated fear that has always protected my friends I am prevented from seeing such places and creatures.

I eventually come across an empty glade upon the top of a cliff, overviewing a large swath of forest. I see that the sun is beginning to set, painting the clouds above me in fantastical golden and red hues. I stand there for several minutes, motionless. I sit down, never letting my eyes leave the split between the sea of dark green against the swathes of blue, yellow and red floating above.

I sit like a statue until the sun finally touches the horizon, slowly sinking below the rough line so far away. As the last sliver of light disappears, I feel strong magic activating to either side of me. For a moment I tense, but I soon remember the feel of this magic and swivel my head for a moment to see Luna and Celestia with their wings spread and horns glowing standing either side of me.

I remain silent until they finish their spell, letting the moon begin its nightly journey. As they turn to me, I comment “I am honored, but was sneaking up on me really necessary?”

Celestia titters and Luna giggles as they both simply respond “Yes.”

I slowly stand and turn towards them as they walk over to each other. I am smiling under my helmet as I simply ask “How have you been?”

Luna answers first by saying “We have been doing well since my return. Much of Our time has been spent with Our sister, learning of the events of the past millennium.”

“Have you been told yet that the Royal We has been out of fashion for most of that millennium?”

She grins as she responds. “Of course We have. Multiple times in fact, but We find it amusing to keep to Our ways. That doing so annoys a set of nobles is an unintentional effect.”

I laugh at that, and turn towards Celestia, silently asking her to speak next.

“Most of my time not spent helping Luna has been spent in court settling the reformation of most of our legal system. It's been a pain in the flank to be forced to do so instead of just saying 'my sister's back. Deal with it.'”

That makes me laugh even harder, but I manage to say “Language, your majesty.” between spouts of hilarity. Both of the sisters join me in my laughter until we all get it out of our systems.

We stand there for a few moments longer, thinking of times long past. I eventually sadly state “I've missed this for so long.”

Luna looks away and Celestia's face forms into a carefully emotionless mask. Celestia carefully responds with “I know. And I've always been sorry for what happened, but you know why it did.”

I sigh and say “None are exempt from law. I remember, but I also know that I was not the one who committed the crimes for which I was punished.”

Celestia's mask slips, letting loose some emotion. I can't exactly tell whether it's sadness, anger or something else. “I know. I've always known. But as I've always tried to do, I made the best decision of the ones I was given.”

Again, we all stand for a moment, lost in thought. When I finally speak my voice is quiet, almost defeated. “And yet we still lost so much.”

This time, Celestia's face remains defiantly unchanged. Luna finally looks me in the face, hopefully saying “We found a way for you to return.”

Beneath my helmet, my expression turns to surprise, and some of the emotion leaks into my voice. “How? A banishment is not ended lightly, and as we just covered, breaking the law isn't an option.”

Her expression turns mischievous as she says “And yet, foreign ambassadors are allowed exemptions from many such laws. And We are rather certain that, with some work, you would very much qualify for just such a position.”

I just stare for a moment, before bursting into another bout of laughter. Thinking about her proposal, it sounds just the right kind of ridiculous to actually work. “Oh that's good. Playing laws against laws. Always such fun.” I lower down onto a knee, extending an arm in a hand-shaking gesture. “Thank you, little princess.”

Luna rushes forward, surprising me by wrapping her hooves around my torso. “Anything for you, Daddy.”

A pink head appears from behind a tree to the sound of “Dun, dunn, duuuunnnn.”

All three of us stare at pinkie for a moment before Celestia asks “How did you get there?”

Pinkie giggles and says “Through the fourth wall, silly!” before disappearing again.

We stare for a moment longer before Luna comments “So, Angelcake's powers are hereditary?”

Celestia nods and says “It would seem so.”

I return Luna's hug, and then gently push her away, saying “Thank you again. Now, I am sure you have duties which you must return to. We shall speak later.”

Celestia nods and says “Indeed we do, and indeed we shall.” as both the sisters raise their wings and fly back to Canterlot, I wave them goodbye. We all smile at each other, knowing that we are finally reunited after so long.

Author's Note

Dun, dunn, duuuunnnn indeed.

I've also slightly revised the previous chapters for some clarity where I thought it was necessary

Chapter 10: protests and pranks

Celestia sits upon her throne, her sister beside her as they both make their declarations on the last scheduled petition to their royal court for the day. The almost forgettably generic noble stallion standing before them looks as if their denying him the massive sum of money he asked for (in order to purchase a sixth vacation mansion) is the greatest offense he has ever received.

As he petulantly stomps away he passes by the several dozen members of the royal court loitering along the edges of the throne room, whispering between themselves and only occasionally glancing towards the day's proceeding while eating their hor d'oeuvres. The only exciting portion of the group to outside observers is Prince Blueblood having a heated conversation with a whole cadre of 'lesser' nobles off to one side as Fancy Pants sighs and shakes his head.

Only a few of the self-important members of nobility notice that the princesses have not yet declared the day's proceedings finished when the last petitioner left the room. Of those, only a couple question what their plan is instead of beginning to complain about being kept longer than necessary on such a 'hard day's work'.

Their complaints barely leave their lips before the throne room doors open once more, admitting a creature from some of their worst nightmares. His massive black feet stomp on the marble floor only a few times before he stops halfway down the grand room. The skull on top of his form slowly swings around, surveying every pony present with its blood-red pits of eyes before settling on the thrones of princesses.

The royal announcer only then begins to announce this newcomer, sounding amazingly calm as he recites. “Announcing the presence of the Black Templars Holy Chaplain Russell, former Lord High General of Equestria, representing the Holy God-Emperor Of Mankind and His Holy Imperium as His designated ambassador to the Equestrian court!”

As the announcement finishes the massive black beast continues his march towards the thrones, the crashing of his feet making several ponies flinch back with every stomp. He stops several meters from the royal sisters, staring at them for a long moment before lowering down on one knee and bowing his skull-head.

His deep voice growls out “Formal greetings to the Royal Equestrian Diarchy from this representative of His Holy Self.” He looks up at the sisters, seeming to the noble observers to stare through their smiling faces. Any nobles with remaining mental faculties can only think in terms of confusion at the sister's smiles, getting tremendously more confused as they both stand from their thrones and walk toward this great beast.

Their confusion grows to levels never before reached as both sisters reach in to hug the monster before gesturing in invitation towards a side door of the throne room. All three figures walk side-by-side out of the room, with none noticing Princess Luna subtly biting her lower lip. As they leave the room, every noble takes that as a dismissal and gallops from the room, leaving none to hear the sound of three bodies falling over with paroxysms of laughter in an adjacent hallway.

Author's Note

Not got much this time, sorry. My motivation to actually write is dependent on a very small list of events, and my ADD results in me only taking a couple hours at most before I leave to do something else. (almost every chapter I've written so far has been done in one session, late at night)
Plus I became gainfully employed in December, then quit my new job last month which meant even less time available followed by some slight depression followed by just wanting to play games all day.
Then there's that I wasn't sure what I wanted to do this chapter until I started writing it in my head a few hours ago.
But anyway, here's somethin' for ya.

Also; I'd really like to do a displaced crossover for the next chapter if any other writers are interested.

Chapter 11: salutations and situations

Three figures stand in a regally decorated hallway, each radically different from the others. All three stare at the marble floor beneath their forms. One, a massive armored warrior twice as tall as the others, comments "Next time, remind me to not actually fall over laughing." while staring at a particularly large crack of the many spread through the flooring.

The dark-colored equine's eyes are wide as she chuckles at the simple request, and the pale equine states "I shall be sure to do so in the future." as both of her eyebrows try to escape her face into her hair.

Luna shakes her head before gathering magic into her horn, the same glow spreading through the fractured flooring, steadily pulling it back together until no evidence remains of the blunt force damage it sustained moments earlier. Celestia gives one last shocked look at the floor before schooling her features back to their usual form.

"Well, with that out of the way, shall we move on to more important business?" Celestia asks.

After a pair of nods in response, the group begins their walk through the gilded halls of the royal palace, walking with purpose and authority. They encounter very few other living creatures on their path, deeper and deeper into the palace. Eventually they reach a nondescript door in a wide vaulted hallway of simple stone lit by bright torches.

Simple nods are exchanged before Chaplain lays a hand on the simple doorknob. As he begins to pull the door open, the wood explodes outward along with a bright orange fuzzy projectile slamming into his upper cuirass. Celestia and Luna blink owlishly for a moment before looking back at Chaplain's form laying flat in the middle of the hallway, a pony wrapped around his gorget.

The pony begins emitting a noise akin to a purr as Chaplain slowly sits up. He looks down at the pony dangling from his neck for a few seconds before happily saying "Hello miss Hurricane."

The purr increases in intensity as the orange pegasus Nuzzles Chaplain's chin. From inside the room with the now shattered door, a ambiguously-gendered voice asks "Do I want to know why you're imitating a feline? Or is this just one of your ...'things'?"

The purring stops as a dark colored pony strolls out of the room, a small grin on her face. Chaplain sighs before simply saying "Bastion..." In a scolding tone.

"What's the issue? It's a simple question. I mean, if she wants to imitate an animal, there's so many better ones to choose fro-" Bastion's sarcastically toned speech is interrupted by a full-body tackle from Hurricane.

As they roll along the floor, kicking and biting at each other, the other two ponies present sigh and roll their eyes. Chaplain spends a moment staring at the rolling ball of fur before asking "So when did this start?"

Celestia answers with "Shortly after you were petrified. I think even they are amazed it's lasted as long as it has."

Luna subtly coughs into her hoof. "Verily so. However, we aught to move along to the business We desire to discuss."

Before they could do so, the two smaller ponies both slam into the ground a few feet from each other, having each kicked the other away. After spending a few moments gasping for breath, they each give the other a grin before diving at each other again, grasping each other and beginning to noisily attempt to eat each other's face.

Chaplain stares for a moment before asking "Have they forgotten we're here? This is starting to be disgraceful."

The two eventually pull apart, still grinning widely. Bastion mumbles "later" before turning back to the rest of the group and casually gesturing to the opening where a door should have been.

Chaplain chuckles and shakes his head before finally entering the room and sitting down in a large wooden chair at an even larger round wooden table. It only takes a few moments for the rest of the group to enter and sit down themselves, Luna stopping for just a moment to magically mend the door and close it behind them.

Celestia clears her throat before saying "Now that we're all here, shall we finally get on to discussing living arrangements for Chaplain?"

Chaplain waves his hand dismissively as he says "Oh, I had that figured out days ago."

There is an awkward pause as the rest of the group thinks that statement over. Afterward Celestia says "So this meeting was almost pointless?"

Chaplain responds with a far too cheerful "Indeed it was."

The entire rest of the group facehoof in unison at that statement. Luna massages her forehead before asking "And what, pray tell, are thine plans?"

Chaplain responds by dropping a slim folder on the table in front of her. She picks it up in her telekinesis, opening it and leafing through the contents. Her eyebrows raise as she does so, and passes the folder to Celestia after she finishes reading. She looks at Chaplain and asks "So, it finished construction during thine absence?"

"Indeed it did."

Luna gives him a calculating look before saying "And thou want to put it in the Everfree? Unclaimed land? Clever."

The folder had been passed to Bastion and Hurricane during that exchange, as they both sit in the same oversized chair to read it. Celestia looks contemplative as they finish doing so.

Eventually Celestia asks "But why right next to Ponyville?"

The only answer she receives is a short chuckle.

Author's Note

So that took...almost a year to write?
...
Sorry?

I honestly hope that I can write more from here on out, but I can't make promises.

Edit: apparently updating after 10 months with less than a thousand words gets you in the featured box. who knew?

A short intermission

Red Brains and Lazy Orange are both members of the Griffon National Guard, stationed on the far southern border of the Great Griffonian Empire. Their duty is to simply stand on the walls of Fort Pawned (named after the venerable Corporal Pawned, may his many pieces rest in peace) and watch for any creature leaving the badlands beyond those great, 8 foot tall, walls. This happens to be a very easy duty since nothing ever leaves the badlands, mostly because nothing at all lives in the badlands.

Today is no exception, and as they usually do on such boring days (namely, every day) they have begun contemplating things.

Red Brains tries to begin a conversation by saying “Hey. You ever wonder why we're here?”

“No. I haven't for the last fifteen times you've asked, and definitely not now.”

“Jeeze, just trying to liven up the place.”

And like that, they return to their own contemplations for several minutes. Eventually something does intrude upon their soul-crushing boredom.

Lazy Orange's claw finds its way to his face as he comments “Gods damn it, Sarge is trying to sing again.”

“Here, have my spare earplugs.”

“Thanks dude.”

And just like that, they continue to do nothing. Things continue in this way for several years before they and an odd group of colorful characters go off on a massive, galaxy-spanning adventure with its own fascinating events.

But that is not the story we are supposed to be hearing, so we shall return to the proper story shortly.

Author's Note

I am evil, and this was entirely necessary. That is all.

Edit: this chapter was written because of Jarimor's comment:

THAT is how you do a proper cliff hanger.

now, if you were to NOT give us his combat abilities JUUUUUST yet via a scene skip...