Twilight Sparkle's Creepy, Kooky, Mysterious, and Spooky Misadventures in Ponyville
Trollestia Strikes Again!
Cleaning, if it's one thing Twilight Sparkle found annoying about her new castle it would have to be the cleaning. She and Spike would begin cleaning in the main entrance foyer, and by the end of the month when they were done they would immediately have to start all over again. The dust tended to accumulate on the many hanging chandeliers the worst. Like the one she was currently standing under while using her magic to hold a tall ladder steady so Spike could clean said suspended illuminated decoration.
"You really should consider hiring a cleaning staff, Twi." Spike said while replacing a burnt out light bulb and placing it in the satchel he carried up with him.
"I've considered it." Twilight answered. "But the problem of finances come up. Since this castle is part of Ponyville I thought I might ask the Mayor for some help."
"As a Princess, aren't you allotted a rather large stipend of funding?" Spike asked the lavender Alicorn below.
Twilight's eyes lit upon that sudden realization. "Now why didn't I think of that?" She turned her gaze up to the purple baby dragon as he climbed down the ladder. "I should probably draft up a plan to Celestia for consideration later today."
As if on cue Spike belched a plume of green smoke that quickly formed into a solid letter from the princess herself. The purple dragon quickly undid the seal and unrolled the letter. He quickly scanned the letter before his eyes suddenly bulged in surprise. He read it a second a second time to see if he had interpreted it correctly before he looked at the Alicorn nearby whom wore a look of concern on her face.
"Well what does it say?" Twilight prompted.
"Oh right." Spike said, having been snapped out of his brief stupor. "My dear Twilight Sparkle." He began. "I know it's been awhile since I've written you and I wish it were under better circumstances. While normally I wouldn't write to you about political situations regarding Canterlot, however I feel one particular family's situation, as will be mentioned later in this letter, makes you uniquely qualified as the Princesses of Friendship to handle this situation."
Twilight beamed a proud smile as Spike continued. "A family from a distant land full of bigotry and hate has come to Equestria and shared with me a sad tale. Due to situations beyond their control with their very lives at risk, they have come to Equestria seeking amnesty. I of course agreed to help them, however they are a very unique bunch and felt they may find life in Canterlot difficult given their unique lifestyle and physical needs. As such I have gotten with the Mayor of Ponyville and asked for her assistance in getting them situated. I was briefly concerned given the information from a recent consensus she has sent suggested that the Ponyville's housing development wasn't originally designed to cater to such individuals as this particular family, but your Mayor has assured me a proposal that might be satisfactory in temporarily resolving this issue. (Mentioned later on within this letter.) They should be arriving in Ponyville soon. They go by the last name A-" Spike's reading was interrupted by a knock on the door.
"I wonder who that could be?" Twilight mused aloud. As she opened the door and peered out her jaw went slack and her eyes bulged in surprise as there on her castle doorstep stood an entire family of humans, accompanied by the Mayor, Mayor Mare.
"Hello, Twilight." The mare addressed the purple Alicorn, she knew better than to address the Princess by her title. "Sorry for dropping by unannounced but Princess Celestia assured us that you had been alerted of our arrival ahead of time."
"Why yes of course." Twilight chuckled nervously. "The um.,"
"Addams" Spike whispered to Twilight while discreetly out of sight from the doorway.
"The Addams family." Twilight sighed calmly to clear her nerves before she regarded her guests with a genuine smile. "We just weren't expecting you so soon. We were currently in the process of cleaning up before you arrived."
"So then I take it you are aware of the arrangement Celestia suggested?" The Mayor queried.
Briefly startled by this, Twilight glanced to the side at Spike of whom was holding up the letter for the purple pony Princess to read. After speed reading the note, a technique she picked up from her childhood studies, she returned her attention to the group on her doorstep with as regal a smile as she could manage. "Of course, I would be more than happy to provide temporary lodging until they can find a more permanent home." The Alicorn Princess never let on just how furious she truly was in the back of her mind at her former mentor. One way or another she was going to get even with Celestia for this.
"Excellent, then I shall leave you to it." Mayor Mare chirped happily before she departed.
Once the Mayor left, Twilight turned to regard the family that remained. Welcome to Ponyville." She smiled while she ushered them inside. "I am Princess Twilight Sparkle." She stated politely once they were all inside. "But you can just call me Twilight." She said in a more informal tone before she nodded to the baby dragon next to her with a smile. "And this is my number one assistant, Spike."
"A pleasure to meet you." Said a tall slender woman dressed in a tight form fitting, long sleeve black dress that covered her body from her neck all the way down to her feet. Her body figure was slim with a modest bust size, yet it was her face that betrayed her true beauty. From her fair snow white skin and very strikingly gorgeous facial features, to that long silky black hair cascading over her shoulders. Twilight observed that she would have probably been the envy of any human's eye.
"My name is Morticia Addams." The woman continued. "and this is my husband Gomez."
"How do you do, m'lady." Gomez said after he removed the unlit cigar from his mouth. Twilight noted that his features, much like his wife, were also fairly striking, though she couldn't place his ethnicity. The Alicon lamented to herself that the only reason she could find their features so nice was because she had at one time been human herself once. From his hair parted straight down the middle to that well trimmed mustache the former unicorn couldn't help but admire his looks, though she never showed it outwardly.
"His brother, Fester Addams." Morticia continued down the family line.
"How ya doin' toots!" Fester said shaking Twilight's right hoof roughly before he quickly returned to his brothers side. His appearance, Twilight observed, was a stark contrast to his brother. His cheeks were chubby, the body was fairly pudgy, head was completely bald, and had pale grey skin with dark rings around his life filled eyes. It was then she noticed that despite the fact that Fester had returned to his side, the pressure around her hoof seemed to remain. She chanced to glance down to find that the hand was still there.
With a shriek of fright Twilight flailed her hoof wildly in an attempt to dislodge the hand. Her attempts soon bore fruit as the hand went flying off to smack Fester in the face before it climbed up to perch atop his bald scalp. Fester simply smiled and waved his own right hand which appeared to be still very much attached.
"There you are Thing." Morticia sighed in relief. "I feared that we had left you behind."
Thing simply gave Morticia a thumbs up and then a waving gesture for her to continue with the introductions before he resumed his perch atop Fester's head.
"Next we have my dear sweet M'ma, Hester Frump." Morticia said while she addressed the elderly woman directly next to her.
"Granny Frump will do, dear." The aging woman smiled at her daughter before she turned to face Twilight. "I also on occasion dabble in the arcane arts from time to time."
Twilight's eyes lit up with delight upon hearing Granny Frump's admission. Why she could practically sense the magic oozing from this woman now that she thought about it. If she had to guess based on the appearance alone she'd have thought this woman to be a witch of sorts. The crystal ball she constantly clutched, the bend and crooked nose, and a couple of warts on her face here and there didn't help to dissuade that thought either, though Twilight learned a long time ago never to judge a book by its cover. "I would very much love to compare notes some time?" Twilight asked with genuine enthusiasm.
"That would be lovely, dearie." Granny smiled a toothy grin.
"Later, M'ma." Morticia said kindly to her mother before she placed a hand each on one of the shoulders of the two children in front of her. "Our two Children. My daughter, Wednesday Addams."
Wednesday simply nodded her reply with an emotionless expression upon her face. Something about that seemed to unnerve Twilight about her. From the well pressed and neat dark grey suit jacket atop a white dress shirt and black tie, to the equally black knee high skirt, stockings, and spat spat shoes. Everything about this girl seemed to perfectly framed and carefully calculated.
"Is that dragon your summoned familiar?" Wednesday's seemingly emotionless voice that suddenly broke twilight from her musings. "Or is he your slave raised upon hatching to do your bidding?"
“What?! No!" Twilight stuttered at the absurd question she had just been asked. "Spike is not my slave! He's my friend, and I would never- I mean I could not just..." The alicorn found it hard to come up with a proper line of thought to come to Spike's defense.
"Now now Wednesday," Morticia chastised. "We are in a strange land, and we are the tourists, we would not want a repeat of what happened back home, would we?"
"No mother..." Wednesday said in a fairly controlled flat tone that sent the fur on Twilight's back standing on end though she wasn't exactly sure why she was having this reaction.
"...And Pugsley." Morticia finished.
Pugsley, unlike his sister seemed far more innocent in both his expression and appearance. His genuine smile and youthful exuberance practically radiated from him. He wore a simple white t-shirt, khaki shorts, and tennis shoes. Twilight figured he might make a good playmate for Spike. He simply waved a youthful smile to which the purple Alicorn tried to give a regal nod in a manner similar to what she once saw Celestia do towards other ponies from time to time.
"And last but especially not least," Morticia turned to face the last member of the group. "Our butler and most appreciated friend, Lurch."
Twilight’s gaze turned up to the very tall human and wondered how she had missed noticing he was standing there given he towered over the entire family. He looked even more dead than Fester Addams with his gaunt facial features and equally pale looking skin that just practically screamed of the living-dead or Frankenstein's monster.
"How do you do, Madam Sparkle." Lurch slowly croaked with a polite bow to which Twilight simply bowed in return.
"A pleasure." she replied before she turned to address the family as a whole. "Now that the introductions have been taken care of, I shall show you to your place of temporary residence in the east wing."
With that the group was lead by Twilight up the entry hall stairs and and down winding corridors and hallways. As they walked Morticia told Twilight and spike of the tale leading up to their arrival in Equestria. She told them what their world was like, how the neighborhood didn't always appreciate their unique tastes, or their appreciation for things of a more eclectic taste in the nature of the recently departed as she put it. Spike was all ears as he listened intently perched upon the Alicorn's back while Twilight could only half listen, her mind more brooding over the obvious prank that Celestia had pulled on her, and with an innocent family no less. However she wasn't going to turn them out either, she was the Princess of Friendship after all."
"So what prompted you to come here?" Spike asked
"That would be the day the town decided to form a mob and lynch our house with torches, burning it to the ground." Morticia said almost nonchalantly, the admission of which brought Twilight to a screeching halt.
"Come again?!" Twilight asked in utter disbelief.
"It was like our third honeymoon!" Gomez sighed as he affectionately kissed his wife's hand. "Unfortunately they aimed to do that to us next so we did the only thing we could do and got in the family car and ran. It seemed that no matter where we went, people just didn't want us around. So we decided to follow in the footsteps of one of our more estranged relatives and journey across space and time to arrive here in Equestria."
"Wait, you have family here in Equestria already?" Spike asked curiously.
"We do," Morticia answered "But we don't know where in Equestria they are or even how to get word out to them that we're even here."
"Or if they even want us around." Gomez stepped in with a sigh. "They were estranged from us a long time ago."
"I'm so sorry to hear that." Spike frowned. "Maybe one day you'll come across one another again."
After hearing the sad end to this unfortunate family's tale, Twilight's anger towards Celestia almost skyrocketed though she strained to prevent it from showing outwardly. She took several deep calming breaths as she rounded the corner to a hallway that ended at a stairwell "Here we are." she said, though her voice only slightly cracked under the riotous fury that was straining to break free from within her, yet she maintained a calm composure for her guests sake. "Up those stairs you'll find the guest living quarters off to the right. To the left are the lavatory shower, and baths." She turned and walked to an open archway next to the base of the stairs. "And here is the guest kitchen which i like to keep fully stocked so feel free to help yourselves." With that done she turned away from their guests. "I must apologize but I just remembered that I have some unfinished business to attend to." soon after the Alicorn looked down at the purple dragon before her. "Spike, I would like for you to please wait for me in the main lobby, there's something I will need to give you once I'm done."
Spike gulped nervously before he replied. "Sure thing, Twi. I'll be waiting." and he scampered off to do as Twilight had requested."
Once the young drake was out of sight she put on a pleasantly neutral facial expression and turned back to face the Addams family. "I'm am deeply sorry for the abruptness of my departure but I feel this business can not wait any longer." she turned to leave but paused to give one final farewell. "I will leave you all to finish getting situated." With that done she excused herself and walked down the hall, taking the first left she came across. Once out of sight her soft expression turned to that of a much more harsh neutral state. The anger and frustration slowly building with every step she took as she rounded corner after corner, stepping down the lobby staircase and walking past Spike. "Wait here." she said with barely restrained frustration in her voice before she entered a room that on the door was nailed a sign that read 'Dangerous Magical Experiments, Do Dot Enter Without Proper Authorization or Protection Both!'.
Once Twilight had entered, spike could hear nothing of what was going on inside the room. He figured it was probably because of any number of enchantments that Twilight had no doubt cast upon the wall of said room to dampen any sounds made within. Though for what porous he couldn't even begin to comprehend. He knew that she probably went in there to perform some magical experiment in order to calm herself down. The newly arrived family may not have noticed it but Spike could tell that she was no doubt absolutely livid by the time she chose to leave that group. He figured that she was probably going to be in there for a couple of hours trying to unwind. He was surprised however when she exited the room not more than five minutes later with a scroll levitating in an aura of her magic. Once the Alicorn closed the distance between them and levitated the scroll into his waiting hands.
"I need you to send that Princess Celestia for me, please?" Twilight said in an icy cold voice that sent a chill down the green spines running down Spike's back.
"What's in it?" Spike asked while starting to open the rolled up letter before Twilight stopped him.
"Don't open it!" Twilight exclaimed. "I put a spell that is specifically designed to activate once someone opens it." she continued to explain. "It's still in the experimental phase but once perfected, it will revolutionize long distance communication." A sadistic smile creeped its way onto Twilight's face that once more sent shivers down Spike’s spine and held up the letter, giving Twilight one last concerned look. Once he received a confirming nod he exhaled a small green flame that quickly engulfed the note and magically sent it on it's way to the Canterlot Royal Palace.
* * *
"You did what?" Luna exclaimed in utter disbelief after hearing her older sister detail the prank she had just pulled upon Twilight. "How could you pull something so, so..." the lunar princess finding it hard to place the right words to accurately describe how cruel she was being with her prank upon the recently ascended Princess of Friendship.
"Oh Lulu, you worry too much." Celestia sighed as she sat in front of her vanity, levitating a brush with her magic and gliding it through her mane.
"Didst thou not learn thine own lessen the first time when one day thau just so happened to notice thine student freaking out in Ponyville one day over nearly missing her weekly friendship report, so as a prank thou decided to make thine own sun tick like a clock across the sky just so see how badly she would freak out?" Luna chastised.
"She's nowhere near as bad as she used to be sister dear." Celestia smiled at Luna's reflection in her vanity mirror.
"Be that as it may." Luna huffed. "I still think t'was a bad idea."
"Trust me, Luna." Celestia's smile blossomed into a full on mischievous grin. "This will be absolutely hilarious."
As if on cue a plume of green smoke wafted through the window and in a brief flash changed into a scroll that Celestia caught with her magic soon after. She was practically giddy with excitement to see just how Twilight would react. Quickly she unrolled the scroll but was surprised to find the scroll suddenly leap up into the air under it's own power, folding and twisting to form what appeared to be a self folded four pronged, fish-like paper mouth that levitated in the air under the obvious enchantments that twilight had placed upon it. Both were even further perplexed when the strange enchanted origami started to talk in Twilight's voice.
The smile on Celestia's face soon returned as she mentally congratulated Twilight on yet another magical innovation, her ears swiveled forward as she listened to this rather unique letter from her former student.
"Dear Princess Celestia." The letter began before it's tone quickly changed to a deafening and gusty roar.
"WHAT THE BUCK WERE YOU THINKING DROPPING AN ESTRANGED FAMILY ON MY BUCKING DOORSTEP WITH ONLY A FEW SECONDS WORTH OF WARNING YOU BUCKING WITCH!? AND THEN YOU HAD THE AUDACITY TO VOLUNTEER A PORTION OF MY CASTLE AS THEIR TEMPORARY HOME UNTIL THEY CAN FIND A PLACE OF THEIR OWN, WITHOUT EVEN HAVING THE NERVE TO CONSULT ME FIRST!? AND WORST OF ALL YOU PULLED THIS PRANK ON ME WITH AN INNOCENT FAMILY THAT'S SIMPLY TRYING TO FIND A MORE ACCEPTING PLACE TO LIVE! YOU KNEW I COULDN'T SAY NO AFTER HEARING THEY HAD GONE THROUGH A SITUATION LIKE THAT! BUCK YOU AND GO TO TARTARUS!!
Signed your Princess of Friendship: Twilight Sparkle."
With it's message done the scroll promptly exploded in the white Alicorn's face leaving soot and charred fur as the only trace that it had ever existed, along with a very befuddled and confused sun goddess staring into her own now fairly dirty reflection. She couldn't help herself from pouting as she beheld a now ruined and slightly charred mane that was stuck in a permanent perm that looked as if she had flown into a very gusty tunnel while flying at high velocity against the wind. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought that Twilight would ever discover how to use the Royal Canterlot Voice so soon. Her mind frantically tried to get its gears grinding again as it tried in vain to process what exactly it was that had just happened.
Celestia didn't have long to process this information however as the silence was suddenly broken by the sound of a quickly silenced snicker from behind her. The older sister craned her head back in several unsteady jerking motions till finally she beheld her sister with a hoof over her mouth in an attempt to stifle a laugh that was quickly blossoming out of control. It didn't take long afterwards before the younger sister's self control broke the second her eyes locked with Celestia's near frantic and bewildered gaze. Seconds later the Alicorn of the night collapsed on the floor in riotous laughter rolling from side to side while her hind legs kicked wildly into the air as she utterly failed to contain herself.
"Thou was most correct mine sister!" Luna guffawed between gasps for air. "T'was absolutely..." Her laughter bellowed a couple of more times. "H-h-hilarious!" The lunar Princess managed to cough out through her chorus of laughs before reverting back to her earlier laughing fit.
Celestia's helpless wide eyed gaze soon returned to her own reflection in her vanity. A pathetic whimper escaped her muzzle just in time for Luna to crane her head up to look at her sister once more only to be sent back into yet another bout of uncontrolled laughter.
Author's Note
This is my first real attempt at getting a long term story going. As such I do not intend to write these stories like a typical chapter but more episodic in nature. Each chapter following this one, will have a very clear begging, middle, and end with a problem cropping up somewhere in the chapter and being promptly resolved before chapters end. With that said I am writing this with no clear cut goal or true ending. It will also be updating sporadically as inspiration strikes. That being said I do hope you enjoy my random musings as I try my own take at The Addams Family.
Enjoy! 