By: TrixiePony
A half-lidded, bloodshot expression stared back at her as she sat before the large bedroom mirror; the sight brought a frown of disapproval. Her horn shone, levitating a brush to her blue-silver mane, moving it in lackadaisically short strokes in a feeble attempt to tame her unruly bedhead. A yawn escaped her as she set the brush down, slowly beginning to snap out of her sleepy stupor. The mirror reflected her profile, allowing her to disapprovingly scrutinize her every angle. Nowhere near content with her mane, she was unable to care enough to do anything about it so early in the morning. Taking her sweet time to stand up on her hooves, she was in no rush to join the others for breakfast after the uncalled for awakening so early in the morning.
Trixie sighed, turning to head out the door and into the long, empty hallway. Sunlight illuminated through the stained glass windows, coming in and refracting haphazardly against the irregular intricacy of the crystal walls. She grimaced as her eyes squinted for a second before they adjusted to the brightness. The idea of a castle being nearly completely comprised of crystal was always an odd one to her. Not even the royal sisters lived in such a castle; however, theirs was undoubtedly larger. Then she wondered of the castle in the Crystal Empire, being just as grandiose, or even more so, than Twilight’s. Rather pretentious of an Empire and ruler, Trixie thought, never having paid much thought into that place before.
Echoes of each hoofstep sounded all around her, against the walls and the ceiling that towered above. Even having lived in the castle for so long, the belittling feeling was inescapable and almost ever-present. Years ago she would have thought this place only most fitting for such a great and powerful pony. But as time past, she had only begun to realize the discomforts of such a life, and even at times came to miss how things used to be. The difficulties of fitting into opulence were never a concern because never before had she really any place to be… royal. But now, engaged to Twilight, to a princess, it all seemed to be coming upon her at once.
Trixie Lulamoon. A princess of Equestria. The thought crossed her mind as it had the morning after she proposed to Twilight, and every subsequent day since. The feeling was not excitement, nor was it dread. Of course the thought of being at Twilight’s side subdued these conflicted feelings, but they continued to reside at the back of her mind.
Listlessly, she walked down the hallway, her mind far and off in thought. Reaching the steps to the bottom level, the sweet smell of oats, pancake batter, and tea, wafted into her nostrils and drew her mind to the thought of breakfast. Descending at a quicker pace, she soon found herself at the main floor, turning to head to the kitchen but spotting something at the corner of her eye. The doors to the royal throne room were slightly ajar. It brought a thought to her mind, enticing her to get closer. Peering through the crack, she gave the door a light push, exposing the entirety of the grand room. Taking a few steps inside, she stopped to wonder over its purpose, never really having done so before. This room belonged to Twilight and her friend’s after all, the six crystal chairs adorned with a respective cutie mark made that clearly evident. Trixie entered further into the room, then circled the grand map of Equestria at the center as she made her way to Twilight’s throne. She sat, looking down at the intricacy of the map before her. Twilight had explained its magic and purpose before, but Trixie was sure she had not paid any attention then.
Now sitting, she looked about the room to the five other chairs and pondered over what role could possibly lay ahead for her. Was she meant to join Twilight and the other princesses in their royal affairs? Perhaps be given her own great responsibilities to watch over? Or maybe, somehow, could she be turned into an alicorn, too? A thin smile came to her a face at the thought, but it quickly faded. What was more likely in all this was her own mind over thinking the entire situation. Blowing things out of proportion and paying too much mind to trivial things when her only concern should be Twilight and the upcoming wedding.
Trixie sighed, stepping down from the throne, the heavy feeling on her mind still lingering but now pushed to the back of it. Hunger now occupied that space, the feeling rekindled by the smells of breakfast. She left the room, not looking back as she closed the door behind her.
As she neared the kitchen door, it was unexpectedly flung open. Twilight stepped out, going wide eyed at the sight of Trixie, disheveled and frazzled, before her.
“Oh,” Twilight said, taking a step back, a broad smile coming to her face. “Good morning, sleepyhead.” She moved forward, giving Trixie a light kiss on the cheek.
“Morning,” Trixie said groggily. She looked to Twilight and gave a meager smile in return.
Twilight turned and entered the kitchen, with Trixie following close behind. “Got out of bed just in time. Breakfast is set on the table. I’ll just be grabbing the tea,” Twilight said.
Trixie moved towards the table where an eager Spike sat slumped, long arms outstretched on the large, round table towards a plate of sparkling pancakes, claws twitching in greed as they were so close. Two other plates were set at the center as well, each with a stack of three, golden-brown pancakes.
“Morning,” Trixie said as she took a seat, hardly catching the dragon’s attention.
“Morning,” he said in a deeper voice that Trixie was still unaccustomed to hearing come out of his lankier body. His eyes did not veer from the food.
Twilight came to join them soon after, setting down the utensils, a kettle, three cups of tea, and a small pitcher of golden honey before taking her seat. She poured the tea, gently levitating a cup to each of them as she moved their respective plates as well.
“Well, enjoy,” Twilight said, an excited smile on her face.
Spike had already begun to dig in as Trixie waited a bit longer to indulge in the warmth of the tea and the sweet smell of the oat pancakes and honey. She gave a genuine smile and she forgot all her worries and the discomforts of an early morning. Such a nice breakfast could only mean a great day was to follow.
“So,” Twilight said, sitting giddily as she looked at Trixie, completely ignoring the food before her. “Ready for today?”
“What?” Trixie said, a fork-full of food levitated before her snout.
“What do you mean ‘what’? Don’t you remember?” Trixie returned a blank expression that incited a groan from Twilight. “We’re going to break the news to my family in the Crystal Empire today! And tomorrow, we will officially proclaim our marriage to Equestria!” She clopped her hooves together in giddiness, “I’m so excited!”
Trixie’s jaw dropped, but she quickly put a smile before Twilight looked to her. However, her worried eyes lingered, and the mare beside her was too preoccupied to notice, overly excited for the evening plans that lay ahead.
The scenery of trees, meadows, and far off hills blurred; Trixie’s mind once again wandered as she stared unseeing out the window. The occasional clangs or bumps of wheels on rails occasionally snapped her back to her senses. With nothing to invest herself in, her mind was enticed to look over to Twilight, still heavily invested in a book, as usual. Why Twilight rode the train was always an odd thing to Trixie, being a princess that could summon a chariot and some royal guards at the wave of a hoof. She had explained this to her before, how train rides were a much more pleasing experience, aside from her being completely accustomed to it. Once again, though, it was simply Twilight being Twilight, living just like before, but as a princess.
With Twilight preoccupied, Trixie was left with nothing but herself. Leaning her head against the cold glass her mind returned to its aimless thoughts.
It was an interesting case with Twilight’s parents. They’ve been acquainted a few times before, of course, yet the details of their daughter’s and her relationship were never fully disclosed. Twilight was always nervous about the subject with her parents, always hinting at there being something but never really being blatant about it. Trixie, on the other hoof, had no quarrel to oblige, never really sure of the circumstances that would follow. Her parents seemed ideal, really -caring and supporting and proud of their daughter. They were a proud family, of course. Their son became the captain of the royal guard at a remarkably young age, and then went on to marry Princess Cadance and become prince of his own Empire. Their daughter was a magical prodigy, Celestia’s star pupil, and now a princess of Equestria herself; having undergone some sort of apotheosis to become an alicorn.
Trixie, on the other hoof, was a part-time showmare. Part-time because she couldn’t recall the last time she had given a performance before an audience. Twilight’s parents knew of her profession and found it rather endearing. They had also heard of Trixie’s past deeds in Ponyville, the newspapers making her rather infamous around Equestria for some time thereafter. This was a bit more difficult for them to accept when she was initially presented to them as a ‘close’ friend.
Trixie sighed to herself, looking over to Twilight and smiling at the sight. However, not even the thought of Twilight was enough to quell the worries her mind began to spawn now so close to her fate. The smile faded as she returned her head against the glass and closed her eyes.
“Trixie… Trixie wake up.”
Trixie roused from her slumber, eyes fluttering open to the sight of the Crystal Castle in the near distance. She blinked hard a few times to allow her senses to return.
“We’re almost there,” Twilight said. Trixie looked over, seeing Twilight pack her book into her saddle and turn over to her with an excited smile. Trixie forced a thin smile in return. “I can’t wait! Can you believe that we’re finally going to admit it to my parents?”
“This sort of thing runs in the family, huh?” Trixie said carelessly, using her magic to lift her own saddle from beneath the seat to her back.
“How do you mean?” Twilight looked to her inquisitively.
Trixie gave a slight grimace, pausing for a moment. “For example. What happened between you and your brother? If I remember correctly, you said you knew nothing of his marriage, or even relationship, a mere few days before the actual wedding! A rather odd tradition, do you not think?” The train came to a slow halt with the screech of the breaks. The two mares began to step down from their seats.
“Well,” Twilight said with a drawl, “My family can get rather preoccupied… by the time we all get around to seeing each other again, so much has already happened.” Twilight shuffled down the center aisle towards the exit with Trixie following close behind. Several ponies paused what they were doing to stare, but the two were accustomed to such attention and now completely oblivious to it. Spike, having sat closer to the doors, was already awaiting them on the platform, drawing nearly as much attention as they were.
Trixie pressed no further as they made their way to the carriage for the Crystal Castle. The shoufers bowed at Princess Twilight’s arrival and kept their heads low as Trixie went passed and stepped up to the carriage. She eyed them curiously before entering.
The trio were greeted at the castle gates by a group of guards, at their forefront stood a colt with a pristine coat of white and mane of dark blue hues. His robust figure guarded by impressive armor etched in regalia of the Crystal Empire. He stepped forward excitedly as his comrades bowed at the approach of Twilight. Trixie hesitated at the prince’s approximation, never entirely comfortable with the few prior occasions they had met, and even then hardly so. Should she present herself? Or, perhaps, bow respectfully just like the others? Spike did no such thing, but then again she could only assume they have been well enough acquainted. Instead, Trixie decided to keep her distance and wait, trying her best to keep her thin-smiled facade.
“Twily! Long time no see,” Shining Armor said as the two leaned into each other for a nuzzle. Breaking away, they gave each other a sincere smile.
“I missed you too, Shining.”
“It’s so good to have the family back together again. Mom and dad are already in the castle.” He looked towards Spike next, greeting with the the informality expected of friends. Trixie’s nerves tensed as she expected the prince to turn his attention towards her. And he did, stepping towards her, his tall and imposing stature accentuated by his close proximity. Standing right before her, it was difficult to keep eye contact, or perhaps that was the point. Trixie noticed that his brow rose ever so slightly.
“Well,” he began, “it’s a pleasure to see you again, Ms. Lulamoon. Correct? Twilight didn’t mention any of her friends coming along.”
Trixie’s eyes quickly shifted between Shining and Twilight, who was standing off to the side and watching with a smile.
“The pleasure is mine,” Trixie said, looking down. Silence drew a second too long before anypony else spoke.
“Sorry, Twilight,” Shining said as he looked towards his sister. “I was only able to stay long enough to greet you. I have some business to attend to before this evening.” He turned to Trixie, allowing their eyes to meet once again, and smiled. Trixie was unable to react before he had already stepped to her side and passed, turning once again to Twilight.
“I’ll see you all for dinner. I’m looking forward to it.” At this he turned and carried on, a pair of guards hurrying to his flanks.
Trixie had never been to the Crystal Empire, the aptly named domain just north of Equestria’s borders. Much of it was as expected, beautifully architectured crystalline structures and ponies that somehow seemed to share the shining brilliance of their city. The castle itself was no exception, bearing a resemblance to that of Twilight’s castle, indeed in a much more grandiose fashion. There was little more to note of the interior aside from the guards and service workers that were in constant motion, moving about their own intentions. In this regard it seemed more akin to that of the castle of the royal sisters, and sensibly so, as they had an actual Empire to govern and ponies to look after. Not to disparage Twilight’s role, however. Her duty to Equestria seemed an odd one to explicitly classify, to which has perplexed Trixie before. Yes, she works with many royal affairs, as expected, but it’s rare to see a princess out in the field, charging with reckless abandon towards any trouble, be it what it may. This was Twilight Sparkle. The princess engaged to a lowly showmare. A royal anomaly, Trixie thought more often than not.
“Excuse me,” Twilight spoke to the guard that led their modest party. “I know you’re supposed to lead us to our rooms, but, by any chance, is Princess Cadance free?”
“I believe she is in the throne room. I can inquire on your behalf is she is available,” he said before not hesitating to bid forth another guard that was conveniently passing by. They exchanged a few quick words before he was off. They carried on for a few more minutes down the halls before the same guard returned with haste.
“The Princess will see you now,” he said with a bow. Twilight smiled at the news, to which Trixie was unable to imitate. “If you will, please follow me.”
“Umm,” Trixie muttered before they had set off, drawing the attention of the others and now slightly regretting doing so. “Would it be possible if I could meet the princess… later?”
“Oh? Is something wrong?” Twilight inquired.
“No, no. Sorry, I just… I am tired. I need a little rest before dinner tonight.” It was a bad lie, but for Twilight, so preoccupied with meeting her sister-in-law again, it would suffice.
“Oh, OK then. Want me to come along with you?”
“No… it is all right,” Trixie said, the response causing her fiancée's prior glee to recede ever so slightly. Trixie smiled in return, unsure of what else to say and hoping for the situation to already be over. Luckily, Twilight and the others conceded with no further questions and soon the party of Trixie and a guard parted ways in their own respective direction. Trixie let out a heavy breath once she lost sight of the others, her posture slumping as her head now hung lower as she walked. She noticed the guard looking over to her, and their eyes meeting quickly averted his gaze. The two were quiet and to themselves the rest of the way until they reached the great door that led to her room.
“This shall be your room, ma’am,” said the guard as he pushed the door open with a hoof and stepped aside. He bowed and remained this way as Trixie entered, turning back to face him from the other side of the threshold.
Her brow rose with a slight frown to her face as she gave an awkward stare back at the bowing guard. “Why are you still doing that? Do you… want a tip…? Or something?”
“Not necessary, ma’am,” he said as he straightened up, “It is only proper courtesy given to a guest of both Princess Cadance and Princess Twilight.”
It was a slightly amusing notion for Trixie. Already being treated in such ways simply being in proximity to a princess. “Right,” she said with a drawl.
The guard smiled back. “I will be patrolling this hallway, ma’am. Do not hesitate to call on me if need be.”
Trixie thought for a second. She considered making a request for food or drink, but decided otherwise as she really wasn’t in the mood. And now, uncertain of what else to say, she was only able to muster a thanks before closing the door. She stood still until she heard the guard’s hoofsteps leave the front of her door and down the hall. She turned and looked about the great guest room. Sparse in furnishings, the room looked larger than it really was. She noticed that her bags had already been brought in, set at the foot of the bed. The bed itself looked inviting and very tempting to Trixie now. Wanting a rest had been her excuse, but now it seemed to be closer to the truth.
Using her magic, she moved her belongings onto the ground, but not before taking out a picture frame and setting it atop the nightstand. Slowly, Trixie got herself atop the bed, wrinkling the pristine sheets as she unceremoniously slumped onto her side. With half-lidded eyes she stared at the picture of her and Twilight, one she had just recently decided to carry along with her on any such long trips. It was from their first date, and just as precious as the memory of that time.
She lay there for an indiscernible amount of time, the only indication of its passing came in the dimming light and ever growing shadows. She had not slept. As it turns out, her physical state was just fine, but her mind was certainly fatigued; her thoughts in a perpetual cycle of conflict, confusion, and worry. Never had she felt such worry before. She had always taken pride in her confidence, utilizing it ever since she could remember to boast of all sorts of stories for her shows. It’s been some time since those days. She began to ask herself, could she even perform anymore? Could she present herself before Twilight’s family? Could she truly be a worthy bride to a princess?
There was a rapping at the door, perking her up slightly as she moved off the bed and to the door. Relief overcame her at the expectation of Twilight at last returning. There was an earnest smile on her face as she opened the door. But both quickly escaped her at the sight of a guard. She frowned slightly as he bowed before delivering his message.
“Princess Twilight has asked me to apologize on her behalf. She will be unable to meet with you until dinner tonight. She is preoccupied with Princess Cadance, but promised to personally introduce you in an hours time.”
A crestfallen expression had come to Trixie’s face as she thanked the guard and closed the door. Unmoving still, it was a minute before she slumped onto her haunches and mused over what she could possibly do within the hour. And even more so, what she would do when that time was upon her. Now, without Twilight’s presence to console her, she felt aimless. Was she always this hopeless, she thought.
Confusion and worry soon gave way to anger, and thereafter an insufferable frustration directed at nopony but herself for the situation. How can the once great and powerful Trixie succumb to such a problem? Yes, she was more humble than before, but by no means did that mean she was any less great or any less powerful. Even so, she could only think, had she really fallen so far? She had a purpose then; to put on the grandest of shows and prove her merit and title. To elicit ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ from the audience below, looking up at her with a combination of both jealousy and awe. This was the feeling she craved all her life. It fed her ego, built her confidence, made her the mare she always wanted to be. Or believed herself to be.
Twilight Sparkle seemed to be the catalyst to both the woes and triumphs that have led her to where she was today. The thought of one mare having such a profound effect on her life was quite a ridiculous notion to Trixie years ago. But here she stood, betrothed to the pony whom she once detested. Her feelings have diverged far from that, of course, with love and other such feelings never before thought possible towards a pony taking its place. But they’ve seemed to have taken the place of something else. Something she now begun to realize was always a necessary and vital factor in her life.
How could she have not realized this before? For so long, she simply lived by Twilight, loafing about, aimless and idle. How does one define Trixie now? She is the pony who lucked out and somehow managed to marry a princess; stumbling into a position of royalty. Who is Trixie? she asked herself again and again. No longer was the answer there. The answer that once held not a sliver of doubt, was now ambivalent to her. It perturbed her, nearly frightened her. What was she to do?
Her stomach churned, a knot twisting and festered in her chest. Breaths lost their pace as light-headedness ensued and clouded her thoughts. A hoof was brought to her head as she shut her eyes tight, trying to make sense of her muddled thoughts. But it was no use. She stood up, paced the room for mere moments before she barged out of the room and into the hallway, shutting the door behind her.
Twilight fidgeted in place before the grand door to the dining room. Several times the guard at her side would inquire on her needs, to which she would hastily subdue with a calm facade. Turning away, however, revealed her frown and worried eyes. Whatever could have happened to Trixie, she had no clue. Now she stood mentally berating herself for not having fetched her herself earlier. The door behind her opened, startling her ever so slightly.
“Is everything alright, Twilight?” said Cadance, poking her head out the door, an inquisitive look on her face, and eyes sincere with worry.
“Oh, yes, yes. Everything is fine, just fine,” Twilight said. Her eyes darted between Cadance and the hallway as she held a broad grin of faux reassurance.
Cadance’s brow rose slightly, “are you sure?” Twilight only nodded quickly in return, with focus back to the hallway, her frown subconsciously returned. “If you insist” There was a short pause. Cadance reminded Twilight that dinner was almost ready before slowly closing the door.
Left alone now, Twilight’s mind was a flurry of anxieties, envisioning all sorts of tragic and dramatic outcomes to what was supposed to be a perfect night. Even now she was unable to settle in one place, pacing about a few steps back and forth. It wasn’t much longer before she decided she could no longer wait idly by. She leapt into a trot down the hallway, startling the guard at first before he quickly gave chase. However, Twilight didn’t get far, only reaching the first corner of the hallway before she came to a sudden halt, hooves sliding on the smooth, crystal surface. Eyes went wide as she found herself before a disheveled Trixie before her, accompanied by a guard with a stern face.
Almost instantly did Trixie find herself in a tight, almost uncomfortable embrace. She squirmed slightly within Twilight’s hooves, who only squeezed tighter. Before Trixie could utter her protests she was released, but even then, was unable to say anything else.
“We have to hurry, everypony is waiting,” Twilight said with haste, already turning back. Trixie hesitated for a second, an excited smile coming to her face before she followed suit. The guard, having quickly returned to his post, bowed and opened the doors as he saw the pair approach. Twilight, with new-found composure, entered briskly and with a broad smile, genuinely happy to get the night back on track. Shining, Cadance, Spike, and Twilight’s parents were settled at the long table before them, meandering about idle conversation before their attention turned to the two who just entered.
“Everyone,” Twilight announced before the table, “you all remember my… friend, Tr-”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie!” came the loud and sudden interruption as Trixie shoved herself in front of Twilight, a hoof raised high in the air. Twilight, dumbstruck, stumbled a step back and looked wide-eyed at her fiancée. “Yes, it is…” Trixie paused, bringing a hoof to her mouth at a feeble attempt to conceal what was either a loud hiccup or burp. “Indeed, Trixie!” She spoke loud and slow with a heavy drawl, her entire body swaying ever so slightly.
Twilight’s mouth hung open, the realization of the situation just hitting her as she looked between Trixie and the rest of the party. Her mane was undone and messy, and she held a smug look of glee and contentment before the other’s expressions of mixed bemusement and steadily increasing smiles of forcefulness. Everything seemed to slow down for Twilight as she watched, unable to move or speak. Trixie took a fumbling step towards the table, setting her hooves atop of it and leaning up and forward.
“I know, I know,” she said, pausing for a second as she waved a hoof in the air, “It… it must be an honor to meet... Me. I. Trixie.” She spoke with a slur at the end of every other word; her tone of voice rose and fell without restraint. None of the others responded, their only movement came with their eyes shifting between the mare before them and Twilight.
Twilight, having now snapped out of her stupor, moved to Trixie and nudged at her side. “What are you doing?” she half whispered through gritted teeth. Trixie turned to her lazily, her brow rose as her grin widened.
“I-I’m telling your parents about… about the thing. That thing. About me being a princess, y’know?” Trixie said.
“No. Sit down,” Twilight said sternly, a violet aura engulfing Trixie and setting her down on her haunches. “How could you do this?” Trixie did not respond, but simply grinned in a foolish looking manner. Twilight groaned, oblivious to those watching who were still too confused to interject.
“Aww, but I thought... you wanted to do this,” she said, a hoof rising to gently caress Twilight’s cheek, which was quickly brushed away. For a few seconds Twilight held her glare with a furrowed brow and thin frown. Even so, it did not faze Trixie.
Twilight turned to the others, “I apologize on her behalf.” Her voice was unwavering as the others looked on with sympathetic confusion. Trixie was still reaching for Twilight in a lazy attempt at a hug, but was held at bay by her outstretched hoof. “She is… unwell, and I’ll be personally assisting her back to her quarters.”
“But Trixie is hungry… And she is a Princess!” Her expression now matched almost evenly with Twilight’s.
“Is everything all right, Twilight?” at last came the interruption of Cadance.
“Fine, Fine,” Twilight replied reassuringly with a smile. “Just fine,” she said as she returned her stare to a pouting Trixie.
“Your princess, Trixie, doesn’t not think it is fine.”
“What is she on about?” spoke Twilight’s father, no longer hiding his irritation.
“Oh? Trixie almost forgot…”
“No, we have to-,”
Trixie lunged forward, planting her lips upon Twilight’s and bringing her into a constricting embrace. There was an audible gasp heard within the room. Twilight’s eyes went wide as she was once again unable to process the situation to put up much of a resistance. Seconds passed before Trixie loosened her forehooves, allowing Twilight to push away and take a step back, panting lightly to regain her composure. Trixie stared back with her lazy look, yet her grin kept its sneer. Twilight could only stare as Trixie turned towards the others, a hoof held high in proclamation.
“I… The great and great Trixie Lulamoon, shall henceforth be deemed a Princess! And with Twilight as my bride, nopony can stop me!” She spoke at nearly a yell as the others looked dumbfounded towards Twilight.
“What is she saying, dear?” asked Twilight’s mother tentatively, deep worry in her crestfallen expression.
“Is Trixie not… clear?” Her broken, slurred speech was indeed difficult to follow, with irregular pauses and interruptions brought by hiccups or burps. “Twilight has chosen Trixie to be her bride, is that not right, dear…?”
The room fell silent as all eyes once again fell onto Twilight, who sat looking back with a mixture of emotions, too overcome by the events that so quickly transpired and ruined what was supposed to be a perfect night. Her expression at last fell onto one of hurt, no longer was she able to hide or hold back the feelings of disappointment and disillusion. Silence lingered for far too long, only aiding to build upon Twilight’s already tempestuous state. Her face grimaced as the faint signs of tears brimmed her eyes. Before anybody could utter any other words, Trixie took it upon herself to speak up once more.
“To us! And… to Trixie!” she said, her horn glowing its violet aura and lifting an entire wine bottle that was set on the table to her lips. She took a heavy swing, her entire body swaying more as she looked about the room before turning over to Twilight. The bottle levitated aimlessly in the air before being set down between the two ponies. Trixie smiled, giving an inviting gesture with a hoof to the bottle. Until now, Trixie’s eyes wavered and strayed about, not having taken much notice of anything in particular. However now, looking into Twilight’s watery eyes, her own countenance fell. Once again her stomach was churning, and the heavy knot returned to her throat. Her head had long become light and almost empty of thought or reason, but now the space seemed to be occupied by that of regret. She tried to speak, but she could no longer do so. She was sick with an ill feeling of both mind and body.
Twilight stared back, her head shaking slowly back and forth. Without another word she turned on a hoof and pushed into a trot out the door. Her mother called out to her before hurrying after; her father and Cadance quickly followed suit. The ever-stoic guards of the dining room held their positions in silence. Trixie sat in her place; a frown from the sickening feeling came to her face as she stared towards the door, which Twilight and the others had departed.
“So much for that big surprise.” At last the silence was broken by the only other pony who was left behind. “I’m guessing you found yourself the castle’s extensive collection of beverages. Twilight sure was excited…” said Shining, his tone even and indiscernible. Trixie looked to him, tears beginning to well in her eyes. He moved passed her, looking forward with an expression that matched that of his calm voice.
“I’ll take you back to your room,” he said.
“But...” Trixie spoke before realizing she had not thought of anything to say. Shining paid no mind, continuing his slow walk forward. Perhaps for the first time that evening Trixie thought somewhat sensibly, getting up onto shaky hooves and moving to follow close behind. With her head low and mind in a flurry of conflicting dread, she did not dare speak another word.
Trixie awoke in a daze, her head holding a steady, pulsating pang that restricted her from thinking too much. She lay in bed, still with eyes shut tight as she gently rubbed her head with a hoof. It was several minutes before she bothered to force her heavy eyes open to look upon the darkness of her room. She sat up, allowing her eyes to adjust. Hours must have passed since she had fallen asleep, or perhaps simply passed out, as the dim light of early dawn was giving the room a dreary, hazy tone. There she sat, staring unseeing with an empty mind, the effects of last night still lingering even now. She waited here as the room continued to lighten but keep its gray color. It must be a cloudy morning, she presumed, her mind at last settling but still unable to reach equanimity.
It was perhaps another hour before there came a gentle rapping at the door. Trixie did not respond to it, not yet ready to face anypony behind those doors. However, she couldn’t help but hope for the knocking to persist and coax her out of her dreary stupor. Again the knocks came, at the same pace and resonance as before. Even though she could think of no proper way to face Twilight after what she had done, the situation was becoming almost too difficult to bear. She got up off the bed and made her way to the door, standing before it she gave a heavy sigh before using her magic to gently pull it open.
Trixie was startled ever so slightly at the unexpected sight of Shining Armor before her, standing tall and imposing as ever, looking down his snout at her. She couldn’t help but avert her eyes to the ground, scowling at her mistake at opening the door. There was an awkward silence that seemed to last much too long for Trixie’s comfort. Closing the door again would simply make things worse. Seconds went by before Trixie decided to at last speak up.
“So...,” was all she could muster. There was yet another short pause before Shining spoke.
“Is that all you can think to say?”
"What do you want?” Trixie retorted in a harsher tone than she intended.
“I wanted to invite you to breakfast.”
“Why?” Trixie said, tentative with her response, at last looking up at him but still keeping her head low.
“Why not.” He spoke in a calm and casual tone that only made Trixie all the more uncomfortable.
“I’m not hungry... but thank you,” she managed to say before taking a few steps back to close the door.
“Wait, please. I need to talk to you. Just the two of us. I know you mustn't be in the best of moods, but it’s better than staying cooped up in your room all day.” He voice was sincere, and his expression matched as he looked on with an inviting, thin-lipped smile. Trixie looked back for a few seconds longer before sighing.
She nodded in acquiescence, “Fine.”
The pair returned to the dining room where Trixie had made her less than favorable impression the night prior. She was tentative at entering at first, but Shining’s promise of privacy soothed her worries. They sat across from one another at the sides of the long table, the grandness of the room accentuating the silent awkwardness present.
“I hope you like pancakes and eggs,” Shining said, looking over to the kitchen door. Trixie just took notice of the smell, calling back memories of yesterday’s morning and how promising a day they made it seem. She did not reply.
It was difficult for Trixie to hold eye contact with the prince, yet she could tell his eyes rarely strayed away from her. However, the few times she gave a cautious glance, she noticed that his look was not one of judgment or malice, but nothing more than a simple look of curiosity and inquiry. For what, however, she wasn’t certain of. His ease only seemed to bring her more worry. He didn’t speak much either, which made Trixie ponder over the purpose of the situation even more. The food arrived, pancakes and eggs and a pitcher of orange juice. Again, she looked to him, but he simply smiled in a rather inviting manner before using his magic to lift a fork. Trixie couldn’t take it anymore.
“OK, what? Are you not going to say something? Why are you doing this?”
“Well, you must have been hungry,” he said before taking fork full of food into his mouth. There was a silent pause as he chewed. “And you mustn't be feeling very well, physically speaking, considering your little episode last night.” Trixie grimaced at the mention. Shining lifted the pitcher and poured two glasses full, sliding one over to her. “Here, this should help a bit.”
Trixie accepted it wordlessly, taking a few greedy gulps before setting the glass back down. The cool tang of orange quenched her parched throat, satisfying a craving she had not realized she had. The almost intoxicating sweetness was delightful, at last muting the terrible pulsing in her head. Trixie was thankful, but mystified and ever cautious.
She sighed, "I still do not understand. You should abhor me, just like your parents very likely do… and perhaps even Twilight.”
“Now, why would I feel that way about my future sister-in-law?” Trixie was taken aback by his frankness, not at all expecting him to regard her in such a manner. “And I assure you, my parents don’t hate you. At the moment they’re just… a little disillusioned.”
“What makes you say that? What happened… what I did last night. I would not blame them for hating me.”
“I can see why you’d think that. But, obviously, there is something else on your mind. Something that's been pressing far longer than last light's dinner. Perhaps even before your proposal to my sister."
"You say that like you know me," Trixie said, staring with an accusing glare.
"You're right, I don't know you. But we might have a few things in common." Trixie’s brow rose in intrigue. "For one, we've both been brought into the life of royalty."
Trixie scoffed, "What has that got to do with anything."
"Judging by your royal declaration as a princess last night, surely it has something to do with it." He continued to speak in such a lighthearted manner that perplexed Trixie. "Look, I understand. I never sought to be a prince, to rule an Empire. It wasn’t until after marrying Cadance that it all hit me. The pressures of duty, and the great expectations. Everyone is looking to you to not mess up. Being a royal guard was one thing, but a Prince… completely different.”
“No… we are not alike. Not at all! Even before you became a prince you had a purpose. You were captain of the royal guard. You were renowned for not only your skill, but your impeccable leadership. You who managed to woo the princess of love… who better to become a prince?” Trixie looked down, the room once again falling to silence. “I do not have that. I cannot explain why or how I managed to make Twilight fall for me in return. But... I do not deserve all of this.”
Shining did not respond at first, and Trixie did not speak further, with focus held into the untouched food before her. "You know," Shining said, "lots of ponies say that. Though, not many of them dread the idea of the love of their life reciprocating the feeling.” Trixie only scoffed at his words. “Tell me, who proposed?”
“I did,” she said.
“And my sister said yes?”
“Yes,” she said simply.
Shining mused, humming loudly in an exaggerated manner with a hoof to his chin. “Well, well, I may not be the prince of love, but I must have picked up a few things along the way. There must have be something behind my sister’s decision to marry you. And even you, who had the courage to actually propose to a princess.”
“That is not the point,” she retorted, at last looking up to him.
“But it’s exactly the point! Can’t you see? It’s not about you, but about both of you. Your worries stem from your relationship, yet you face them alone, letting them fester in your mind. How can you overcome these feelings if you let them keep running circles in your head with no end in sight?” Trixie was attentive and silent. “If you ask me, you are being selfish... Have you even bothered to talk to Twilight about how you feel? I can only assume not, as she wouldn’t have let any of this happen if you weren’t happy.”
Trixie’s countenance had shifted once again, softening from its previous contorts of grimaces and defensive scowls. Her wide eyes looked on through Shining, allowing his words to process through her muddled mind. Perhaps the dependence she once thought she had was simply a figment of her tempestuous mind.
It was almost a minute before Shining once again spoke up.
“I am not asking you to express your troubles to me. But… if there’s something on your mind, especially if it involves my sister, you should talk to her. You have to talk to her. She’ll understand. You’re getting married, after all.” His voice returned to its lighthearted tone. The earnest smile was there again, but now it no longer put Trixie under such feelings of distress. Instead, she accepted such sincerity as what it really was. He did not look down to her, nor despise or pity her. Instead, there was a genuine care behind Shining's motives, Trixie could safely say. Be it on behalf of Twilight’s feelings, she did not know, yet this consideration made her think no lesser of what he had done.
“Thank you… Shining Armor,” she said, speaking apprehensive and slow. “I am grateful. Really. And you are right. We are in this together. How could I have been so… as you said, selfish?”
“You’re getting married. And to top it off, to a princess. Even more so, to my sister! Your mind will get away from you from time to time… but just remember, you’re not alone anymore. Don’t think like you are.”
Trixie hummed in response, an earnest smile at last returning to her face.
The day dragged prior to breakfast. Trixie waited idly in her room, having asked for a bit more time to ruminate on her actions and towards what she may do to make up for them. Shining was compliant of this, ending their morning meeting with a promise to talk to Twilight as well. It was comforting to know that he was so willing to go out of his way to help. Even more so to know that at least one pony from last night’s dinner did not immediately despise her. Twilight’s parents were always a coming hurdle, which has certainly gotten more daunting after that entire debacle. They were never entirely fond of her, she felt. However, it would not be a hurdle faced alone. No longer was Trixie feeling that anxious fear at the thought of their acceptance. It was never something to face on her own. She was getting married to the love of her life, after all.
It was nearing the late evening now, and soft, orange hues colored the walls and furniture. Too much time had passed now, and Trixie could only regret not having gone after Twilight sooner. At last, with a confident stride she made herself out the door and into the hallway, unsure of her direction but certain of her goal. She needed to find Twilight and apologize to make everything right once more.
Trixie moved in a quickened, near trotting, pace down the hallway towards the patrolling guard, drawing his attention as she neared.
“Where is Twilight’s room?” she asked. The guard gave her simple direction and pointing her down a long corridor. Thanking him as she turned on a hoof, she hurried down the halls. It wasn’t long before she reached the doors to which she was directed. She lifted a hoof, letting it hang before the door as she allowed her quickened breaths to settle. However, her heart kept its rapid pace. At last she let her hoof fall, rapping with just enough force to echo faintly down the empty hallways. There was no answer. Again she struck the hard crystal surface a few more times. Silence settled once again. Trixie fell to her haunches, her forehead coming to rest upon the cool surface of the door as she leaned forward against it.
She needed to find her, eager to hear her voice again, to be held within her comforting hooves. Things had to be made right. Even if it meant losing the approval of her soon-to-be stepparents, she couldn't allow herself to lose Twilight’s feelings for her. The anomaly of such a relationship, so precious, that only a fool would relinquish. Still, Trixie managed to put so much at risk due to her own greed and egoistic thoughts. But no longer would she allow those thoughts to stand in her way. Letting them push away the one that she should have kept nearest the entire time.
She got up to her hooves once more, looking to both sides of the empty hallway before choosing a direction at random. She trotted down unfamiliar corridors and took random turns into more empty, crystal halls. It was like a maze that seemed to grow increasingly intricate the longer she went without recognizing anything she had come across before. Now and again there was a guard, whom would inquire on her needs. But she did not slow down to ask, her heart raced as her mind pressed her to continue onward in her aimless search. Minutes more passed until physical fatigue at last restricted her from carrying on. She came to a slow trot in the middle of yet another long and empty hallway. Panting heavily, she looked about with anxious, uncertain eyes. Thoughts kept their rapid, spinning pace in her mind as she once again fell to her haunches.
Tears began to well in her eyes as both fatigue and ambivalence set in, holding her still in an almost painful embrace. Her breathing was hindered and couldn’t be paced. She didn’t want to stop, but couldn’t seem to keep going. All she could do was shut her eyes tightly and shake her head. Everything was shut out around her. To her, there was a deafening silence only broken by the chaotic thoughts in her mind. In such a state, she did not hear the footsteps that approached so close.
“Here you are!”
Her moist eyes went wide at the familiar, comforting voice as she looked up. Almost all at once were her qualms placated at the sight of the white stallion before her.
“Are you OK?” Shining said with sincere concern. “We’ve been looking for you for some time now.”
Trixie did not reply at first, letting her feelings settle and breathing come to a more steadied pace. “I-I… am fine,” she at last muttered. Shining gave her a questioning stare, to which Trixie attempted to avoid by glancing away.
“Is that right? Well, c’mon. You have someplace to be.” Shining walked passed her. Trixie, now with more composure, was able to stand up and follow, wordlessly. He led them down hallways and around corners Trixie did and did not recognize. It was difficult for Trixie to reason as to why anypony would need this much space. Now, having been lost within its seemingly endless corridors, Trixie was more grateful of Twilight’s accommodations. It would be another few minutes before Shining came to a slow stop before another door. And just now Trixie had realized it was that which led to her room.
“I guess we were a little late in actually catching you in your room earlier,” he said. “Sorry about that.” He stepped aside, a hoof gesturing towards the door. Trixie was hesitant at first, giving a simple nod before turning to face the door. With a hoof gently resting against the door handle, all that was needed was a light push to swing it wide open.
There she was, alone, sitting on her haunches with the photo of their first date held before her in a magical grasp. Trixie stared for a few seconds, mouth slightly agape at an attempt to call out to her, but nothing came. She took a few steps forward, at last drawing Twilight’s attention. Her eyes went wide at the sight of Trixie before returning to a countenance of utter relief, a thankful smile on her face. The sight alone was one that brought Trixie an exhilarated feeling, a newfound calmness where nothing else mattered. All her worries expunged at the very moment she witnessed her smile.
“Twilight, I-,” her voice broke, uncertain of what to say.
“Trixie.” Her name spoken with such soft, caring sincerity hit Trixie at her core, stirring a flurry of feelings that left her both physically and mentally stunned. Tears once again began to brim in her eyes, trying her hardest to hold them from falling free. The two neared, and once close enough, Trixie could think of nothing else but to move forward and take Twilight into an embrace, almost burying her head into the crook of her neck. Twilight took the trembling mare into her hooves as they fell onto their haunches, gently caressing her main as they kept like this in silence. An indiscernible amount of time passed before either of them loosened their grip, still holding on to the other’s sides as they slowly came apart to look upon each others eyes.
