Written's "Story" Story

by Git_Tirekt_m8

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Original Character, Comedy, Random
Length: 6620

Written Script is struggling with his writing and eventually has one of his friends try to help by using magic. Of course, something goes wrong... like anything would when magic is used as a solution to a problem.

Written Script is struggling with his writing and eventually has one of his friends try to help by using magic. Of course, something goes wrong... like anything would when magic is used as a solution to a problem.

Will he be able to solve his problems? Probably not... Will this story have good humor? Eh, maybe...

Had writer's block despite not being a pro writer, 'nuff said.

(Cover art made with a load of vectors from DeviantArt)

Published 2015-05-19 23:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-19 23:50:02 UTC

Chapter 1/2-ish Maybe?

Dear reader, contrary to what I mentioned at the end of the first chapter, I have lost faith in help. I am writing this through my thoughts, which conveniently appear in the sky of this story’s setting. If I never return to the non-fiction world, tell Twinkleshine it’s all her fault. No wait... scratch that last sentence, it’s partially her fault. Yeah, that sounds better-what do you think? Also, to the characters peeking at the narrative in the blue expanse, stop being nosey or I’ll be forced to use the most pointless and annoying format for an entire paragraph.

“What are you even going on about?” Viridian Leaf asked.

“I’m on the same page as Viridian,” Fluffy Eyes spoke, “what could be so bad about it?”

“It’s a little thing I call... THE ALMIGHTY CAPS LOCK!” I said dramatically, without there needing a reason to do so.

“Pfft, it can’t be that annoying, am I right Viridian?” Fluffy said, nudging Viridian Leaf with his foreleg.

IT WAS THEN THAT I NOTICED FLUFFY EYES, WHO, BY THE WAY, HAS THE MOST AWKWARDLY HILARIOUS NAME IN NAME GENERATOR HISTORY, SMUGLY GESTURING TO VIRIDIAN LEAF. I LOVE THIS FORMAT, DON’T YOU? THINK OF ALL THE INTENSE EMOTIONS I COULD CONVEY THIS WAY! I MEAN, I WOULDN’ T HAVE TO TRY AT ALL AND-

“OKAY, YOU’VE MADE YOUR POINT,” VIRIDIAN BROKE IN, “OH GODDESS, NOW I’M SPEAKING IN CAPS LOCK, NO!”

“Please, make it stop!” Fluffy Eyes exclaimed, covering his eyes, “It’s so jarring it-it’s over... t-thank you!”

While this warning of pointlessly exaggerated proportions was happening, the stallion from the chapter before started speaking.

“Hmm, this story looks cool and all but...” the pony trailed off, “If I add a few additions, maybe I could finally impress Raindrops. Too bad my awesomeness isn’t enough on its own...”

Who the heck is this guy, and why is his issue entangling itself into the plotline? We don’t need it to get needlessly complicated than it already is! We have my problem, being stuck inside this story, isn’t that enough for one day? Obviously, without a shred of doubt the answer is predictably: No, no it is not.

“I know!” the pony continued, still awkwardly having conversations with himself, “If I have a character just as amazing as I am, she’ll finally take notice of me!”

As creepy as he started to sound, I could barely keep a straight face. I hid it away from Viridian and Fluffy’s prying eyes, as I knew I hadn’t written them to get my sense of humor. They were just frozen in place, taking all of this strangeness in.

“Looks like I’ll have to get the white-out for this...” the stallion said under his breath.

“Ahahaha... you serious?” I stopped and turned to Viridian, “What happens if he uses white-out?”

“I-I’m not sure, you’ve never used it before on your stories,” Viridian replied, becoming increasingly nervous, “but it might mean... uh, never mind.”

“Tell me damnit!” I grabbed him in confused rage, “If he uses white-out, will I die!? Answer me, Viridian!”

I released him and paced around, unsure of what to do. There was nothing I could do as we waited for the inevitable.

“Oh, there it is!” the voice came, “Now let’s see, there’s a character called Viridian Leaf. He doesn’t sound very important, time to create a better one!”

I could hear him later the papers with what I knew to be the white-out. I hesitantly looked over at Viridian, who was trembling. His eyes were wide and a bead of sweat ran down his forehead.

“Viridian, it’ll be alright, just take a deep breath and relax,” Fluffy Eyes said, trying to comfort a character he would barely know until the third chapter.

Viridian wanted to reply, but he shook his head instead. He shut his eyes tight, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly, the colors in his mane and coat were... dripping? Like running paint, the vivid defining colors from Viridian were slowly flowing onto the ground in a puddle. It left behind a blank white shell of his body that didn’t move. I cringed in shock as the last of his coat had bled off of him. He did not make a single sound throughout the process, which disturbed me even further.

I called out his name, but there was no answer from the now statuesque pony. Fluffy Eyes backed away in horror of what he witnessed.

“Written, is that going to happen to me next?” Fluffy cried out.

Before I had a chance to speak, there came the sound of a quill writing.

“I’ll have my character be a Pegasus, just like myself,” I could hear him say, “he can have my slick gray coat, and a cool blue mane. And, his name shall be Thunderlane!”

“No! Please, not a self-insert character! Oh and Thunderlane... IF I GET OUT OF THIS STORY, I WILL LEARN THE CLOUD-WALKING SPELL JUST SO I CAN BEAT YOUR PLOT!”

“Written, now’s not the time for using ‘THE ALMIGHTY CAPS LOCK’,” Fluffy pleaded, “Viridian just... he...”

Fluffy was right, I’ll save my frustrations for later. Poor Viridian, I felt a bit of guilt for being harsh earlier. Now I had to deal with whatever Thunderlane’s character would be. Why would he even try writing? Not to be rude or anything, but I never saw him as the literate type. He was always more of a sporty, outdoors kind of pony.

“Just to set him apart,” Thunderlane continued, “I’ll make him the fastest Pegasus who ever lived! Oh, and I’ll give him the ability to summon tornadoes and storms, this is going to be the best OC ever!”

“Dear Celestia, the OP-ness!” I shouted, “Also, it’s not an OC if you’re using yourself!”

I peered back over at what used to be Viridian. Were his colors... returning? No, that’s not right, he’s not Viridian at all. The white remnants started to begin turning gray, then sprouted a pair of wings from the Earth Pony shell of Viridian Leaf. Thankfully, that’s the only feature he sprouted or else he was going to be one of those OCs. The remainder of his features came into existence, eventually becoming an exact replica of Thunderlane.

“Sweet,” The Thunderlane character said, checking out his body, “got to give myself credit for making me, heh.”

“Thunderlane, what are you doing to my story!?” I demanded.

“Written, is that you?” The Thunderlane character replied, “My creator, Thunderlane, didn’t see you in the papers at all, how are you in his new story?”

“That’s not important now, so just take the papers back to Raindrops and Twinkleshine!”

“No can do, pal,” he shook his head in defiance, “my creator’s got plans to impress Raindrops, and that’s what I plan on doing for him, you see. Besides, you’re talking to the character, not the awesome author behind him.”

Thunderlane’s character seemed pretty self-aware of his identity, but still pursued the intention of his creator. During all of this, Fluffy Eyes kept silent, only watching from a small distance away. I didn’t want to continuously refer to him as Thunderlane’s character, so I guess I’ll just call him TOCEF. If you’re lost on why I’m using that, it stands for “Thunderlane’s Original Character of Epic Failure”. The “of” is not used, by the way, because I didn’t want his name to resemble “Taco” in any vague sense. Yes, I don’t know why I did it either.

“Whoa, I can see your entire narration in the sky!” TOCEF said, amazed, “I’m not sure on the name, though, I think it should be more better.”

“Dude, do you even grammar?” I says.

Before the structure of the English language could be broken any further, TOCEF and I listened to the voice of Thunderlane. Even though he hadn’t spoken a single line of dialogue yet, I knew that within those next set of quotation marks was going to be unpleasant.

“Now that I have myself, he’ll need a companion to make him look even better!” Thunderlane rambled, “Fluffy Eyes, that’s a pretty sweet name but I know how to improve it!”

The sounds of the white-out smudging the papers were very unsettling. I looked over at Fluffy Eyes, who fainted at the thought of being rewritten. I’d use a Revive but, because they don’t exist in Equestria, I was out of luck. The quill’s scribbling ensued afterwards.

“And his name shall be...” Thunderlane paused for no real reason other than to be dramatic, which would be fine if it added any importance, but in actuality, it just made me want to slam him in the face with my hoof. But anyway, this interruption in his dialogue is getting excessive so... yeah... “Red Blue!”

Fluffy Eyes began undergoing the same process Viridian went through earlier, his coat and mane started to spill off of him. Fluffy struggled, but the petrification-like effect soon overtook his motor functions. His eyes flowed out of their sockets the same way his coat did, leaving them empty and hollow. Once it was complete, what remained of Fluffy Eyes was a nameless statue with the forever look of terror in their expression. While I was appalled, TOCEF wasn’t fazed in the slightest. He even smirked a little.

The empty shell of a character who had little to no dialogue then received coloring, much the same as Viridian. Just as Thunderlane had exclaimed about a paragraph ago, his colors were indeed red and blue. Pfft, ahahaha, no that would make too much sense now would it? He was actually black, not in a racist way, but seriously... he was pitch freaking black!

“Sup, Red Blue,” TOCEF greeted, “seems like you’ve become my companion!”

Red Blue didn’t reply, eyeing TOCEF in confusion. Red Blue then nodded seconds after, but retained his silent demeanor. My story has fallen apart, and it appears that I have to go along with whatever Thunderlane’s comes up with. I walked off, trying to leave until the story was over with. Because it was then I thought loudly, “If I wait out the entire story’s conflict, maybe I’ll be released?” Why didn’t I think of that earlier?

“Yo, Written, wait a second!” TOCEF called out.

“What!?” I shouted, annoyed.

“Where are you going?” he said, “The story’s over here.”

“Yeah, Thunderlane’s story...” I muttered, “I didn’t ask for my writing to be tampered with, nor my characters replaced with... you two.”

“Whatever, man,” he spat, “it’s not like you could do anything anyway...”

A mental spark just flashed inside my brain. I CAN do something; I can change the format of the story anytime I want. Best to have fun while I wait, am I right? Sorry about this readers out there, all one of you, but this is where you could get annoyed, just saying. It’ll only be for a short while, though I don’t make any promises.

“?to talking you are Who” ,asked TOCEF “?on going is heck the What”

“.you understand barely can I” ,said I “?TOCEF that was What”

“!Written ,out it Cut” .yelled He

Little did he know, I fixed it soon after his last line of dialogue, but he could probably see it in the sky soon after. I noticed that I used “soon after” too much in that previous sentence.

“Eh, I guess the rest of the story looks fine,” Thunderlane interrupted, “as long as Raindrops sees how cool I am through this character.”

These pauses for external voices seemed like clockwork: meet a character, have a conversation, be interrupted, etcetera. But in all seriousness, he added two characters and did nothing to the unfinished plot, and he’s calling this a finished product!? Well at least he’s done metaphorically murdering what used to be my story. It’s already bad enough having self-insert character number two hundred and sixty-five thousand, and pony-with-obviously-conflicting-name guy.

“Aw, I didn’t even get a chance to show off my abilities yet!” TOCEF whined, “What happened to the tornadoes and thunderstorms!?”

“Probably because nopony wants to see somepony show off their skills with no point to it,” I said.

“Hah, what do you mean,” he defended, “everypony loves a show!”

“When there’s a reason... and an audience...”

TOCEF reacted with a pouty expression. Red Blue tapped TOCEF’s shoulder then shook his head, which seemed to calm his apprehensive outburst. Red Blue hadn’t even spoken any words, what was his problem? Did Thunderlane forget to fill the blanks that were supposed to be his character traits? For that matter, how did TOCEF even understand him?

“Whelp,” Thunderlane announced, “time to show Raindrops my hard work.”

His wings began fluttering from what I could hear. Maybe if he brings this to Raindrops and Twinkleshine, they’ll realize that it’s the story I’m stuck in. But I’m sure you already came to that conclusion as well, eh reader? Now I wouldn’t be stating the obvious just for word count, would I? Because word count is the most important thing in writing, correct...? Not if those thousands of words are nothing but a pile of unfiltered pony crap, am I right? I wittingly nudged the air as if there was a pony next to me who got that joke, but I probably would have only received a well-deserved annoyed leer...

Okay, I’ll stop now...

I waited patiently, listening to Thunderlane’s flapping. I thought back to my physical body, I hope it’s doing well. At the least, I hope it didn’t starve to death. If that were the case, I would have nothing to go back to... However, I trust Twinkleshine wouldn’t let me die like this. I noticed TOCEF excitedly pacing around, waiting for a chance to impress the reader, presumably Raindrops, with his “abilities”. And dang it, I’ve left one too many innuendos in this paragraph... and one more ellipses for good measure...

After some time, it sounded as if Thunderlane finally landed. I heard voices from all over mixed with wind and other background noises. There was an occasional greeting, to which he replied hastily, trying to get somewhere in a hurry.

“Raindrops, hold up!” he shouted, nearly deafening my hearing, “I have something I want to show you.”

“What is it Thunderlane? I’m pretty busy right now,” Raindrops replied, “I’m trying to find some papers that disappeared from my home.”

“Uh, why?” Thunderlane said, concerned, “What’s so important about a silly pile of papers?”

“Twinkleshine’s friend, Written Script, got... well, magic happened.” she explained, “Let’s just say nothing ever goes right when magic is involved. Twinkleshine found a spell to help him out of the problem, so I need those papers now. What did you want, by chance?”

“N-nothing,” he recoiled, “I was just leaving... wanna see a movie later?”

“Umm, sure-wait a second, Thunderlane, what do you have there!?”

“Just a story I wrote is all.”

No, just no... He did not write it! I’m so close to getting out of this story, I can feel it already!

“May I take a closer look?” she asked, curiously.

“Uh, no!” He jumped.

DAMNIT THUNDERLANE, GIVE THE FREAKING PAPERS TO HER ALREADY!

“Thunderlane, let me see or the movie’s off!”

“Fine...”

I heard Raindrops flip through the pages. I didn’t care that the sound hurt badly, I was going to be free soon! She stopped here and there, flipping back and forth.

“Awesome character, huh?” Thunderlane added under his breath.

“You just copied and pasted yourself into the narrative... poor Written, I hope he’s doing alright.”

No, I’m not... and the faster you wrap up this conversation, the quicker this issue can be over with! I hear them walk a little, showing some progression in my release. Why not fly? I mean it would take less time to get to wherever Twinklehine is. Unless... don’t you dare!

“So how have you been lately?” Thunderlane asked.

Don’t you do it, I swear!

“Fine, the weather’s been warm and all,” Raindrops replied, “Twinkleshine should be waiting at Written’s house when we arrive.”

You will not have small talk for the entire walk to my house!

“So what movie did you think about seeing later?” Thunderlane asked.

Nope that’s it’s it, chapter over!

“Well, there’s always-”

I SAID CHAPTER OVER!

Author's Note

Also, if anyone's wondering why I didn't tag Thunderlane or Raindrops under characters, I didn't want to make them seem important in any way. Someone might mistake this for actual good literature after all.

The Idiotically-Short Lost Portion of Chapter 2

My consciousness then burst out of the story’s text; feeling singed all over like before. I sprawled to my hooves-oh, wait I’m getting ahead of myself...

AHEM!

I could hear the sound of my front door opening. How did I know it was my door, because it wouldn’t make sense for it not to be, of course!

“Oh, there you are Raindrops, I see that you have the papers. Come over here, set them down on this desk.” Twinkleshine hastily blurted.

I heard the papers slam onto the hard wooden surface of my office desk.

“If Written’s in the story, then how is he over there?” Thunderlane questioned.

“Long story, we’ll tell you after Twinkleshine’s taken care of him.” Raindrops said.

Twinkleshine’s magic buzzed and I turned my attention back into the situation I was in, inside the narrative. TOCEF and Red Blue were lost in all of this, just as Viridian and Fluffy were, you know... when they weren’t dead.

“So, Written” TOCEF said, “when you get out, you can finally give us more of a story usage, right?”

“Yeah... sure...” I replied, “I’ll just have to buy some white-out to make some... necessary corrections...”

Before I leave, I’ll leave them a message in the sky I suppose. As characters on their own, they’re nothing special. The first moments I met them, I wanted to get a gallon of white-out and have a field day, but now I’ve grown a bit. Actually, I’ve probably shrunk; hundreds of times, in fact, to fit inside this story’s wording-but this is becoming lengthy.

I’ve learned something from today’s experience. I know now what to write, since I’ve seen and been through all of the things I shouldn’t write. I’m also thankful that I haven’t developed any severe literature phobia, but I’ll likely avoid any stories where the characters talk to the author and go on bizarre acid trips into books anytime soon.

I felt myself engulfed in a powerful force, a forcefully force that forced me out of the setting by force. The environment before me was fading into white nothingness. My consciousness then burst out of the story’s text; feeling singed all over like before. I sprawled to my hooves when learning that I had returned to my original body. I was back in my office, the other ponies there looking at me in amazement.

“Written Script!” Twinkleshine called out.

“You saved me!” I said, “No, forget that last part... that sounded stupid.”

After that, they all started laughing despite any need to do so. The camera panned out, and I laughed awkwardly along when I noticed how strange it was.

Author's Note

So, how'd I do? Bad? Worse? Abominable-ly Terrible!?

Chapter 1

Another day had passed and I still had no idea at all on how to continue my story. It had been so long since I returned to it, that the details were eluding me. I tried everything from taking time away, to reading other stories, and even asking ponies I knew for advice. Though that last part only ended up confusing me, since everypony has different tastes and all. Now here I am, wandering the Ponyville streets, thinking of another way I could get my thoughts flowing again. Hmm... what was there I haven’t tried yet?

I glanced to the side briefly and got a glimpse of somepony turning a newspaper page with their magic. Aha... no, more like “duh”. Magic, the one thing that can seemingly fix anything whenever it’s convenient! I looked up at my horn, but soon remembered I know nothing of advanced magic. All I can use is basic levitation, which would seem to be enough for an average Unicorn. However! I am no average Unicorn, I am a writer... kind of... okay not an actual professional one, but I can at least say I am a novice!

Okay, think, who do I know that can use magic well. A thought passed through my mind that essentially said, “Most Unicorns here can use magic pretty well, you know?” Well excuse me, brain, how about this then... What Unicorn in particular uses magic well and not have it backfire in some horrible way, hmm? The passing though returned with an answer, “Heck if I know, I am your brain after all...”

While having this strange conversation with my internal organs, I wasn’t paying much attention to walking, causing me to slam into another pony. Dazed, I shook my head and rubbed my forehead, i.e. the impact zone. Finally regaining my senses, I saw the pony to be Twinkleshine. She appeared to be equally shocked.

“Oh, sorry about that Twinkleshine,” I apologized.

“It’s... uh fine, Written Script,” she replied, “so how’s that story coming along, if I may ask?”

“I told you about that? I can’t seem to remember when...” I said, surprised at my lack of a memory.

“Written, you said it when we were over at Berry’s house, remember? You were going on about how you were such a terrible writer, but I think that was after you found her stash of hard apple cider... I think you even cried once or twice-oh, sorry! I shouldn’t have mentioned that...”

It was then that I had the most dumbfounded look on my face. I could barely recall ever being at Berry Punch’s house. Not to worry, if I know myself well, I probably left in better shape, you know like... not wasted.

“Well, I know I probably got over it after I left.”

“But I had to walk you home afterwards...”

I face-hoofed, partially regretting something I had no memory of.

“So, about my story...!” I broke in awkwardly, hoping to change the subject, “I’m just having a little trouble with a character or two and-”

“It’s writer’s block, isn’t it?” Twinkleshine interjected.

“Actually... um, yeah... it is, heh,” I confessed, “I don’t know why, since I’ve tried just about everything I can think of!”

“Everything, you’re absolutely sure?”

“Except magic that is...”

Twinkleshine’s expression grew more concerned, even raising an eyebrow in minute skepticism. I sheepishly smirked, unsure of what to say. I could ask her for help with this, now that I think of it, but I wasn’t sure if she was busy or not.

“Written, just be careful, magic can be unpredictable at times,” Twinkleshine said, starting to walk off.

“Hold up, Twinkleshine,” I said, “I was thinking that... you know, that you could use your magic to help me. If you don’t have other plans, that is.”

“I have some free time, so I guess I can try to help with your writing troubles. What kind of magic are we talking about here, anyway?”

I placed my hoof to my chin, thinking hard.

“I got nothing,” I replied, “but, I can show you what I’m having difficulty on.”

She nodded, yet still had a worried look behind her polite smile. We began walking towards my cottage, not far from where we were. I would’ve had a long drawn-out thought about how exactly was I going to explain the predicament, but my house was only about two yards away. If I started to get lost in thought now, I would slam into my front door. Putting that aside, I opened the door and Twinkleshine followed in soon after.

I led her into my office room, or what it really was, which was just a desk with papers all over the place. Oh the memories I’ve had in this room... dead-on-arrival ideas, broken quills, and headaches, what did you expect from a beginner like me? Okay I’ve written some good things, though far from perfection. I saw the story on the desk, nearly three chapters in, and I didn’t have a name for it either.

“This is it here, Twinkleshine,” I said, pointing to the object in question.

“Judging by the thickness of the stack," Twinkleshine examined," it looks like you have a large portion of it done. What did you want me to do?”

“I need to edit the story before moving on to other parts, but the ink has already set...” I explained, “I wanted to know if there was magic that could, instead, let me edit the story and continue without need of a quill.”

Twinkleshine pondered a bit, and then sighed. She inched over to the stack of papers that were the substance of my story’s makeup. Twinkleshine fiddled with them, checking the dried ink that I had mentioned. She giggled only for a moment, when checking through the pages, before returning to her previous look. The remark made me a little self-conscious of my writing; now I really need to edit this story, as I don’t recall having anything funny in the plot... yet.

“I can remember a spell for this, but I haven’t used it since I was still enrolled in Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns back in Canterlot. You still sure you want my help? If anything goes wrong I wouldn’t want-”

“Please, Twinkleshine, I need to get this story done,” I pleaded, “I’ll take the risk, and besides, it’s just editing. I don’t believe that’s exactly life-threatening.”

That was my way of saying, “Get on with it!” in a less-rude fashion. She levitated the papers then concentrated, going through some strain as her horn began to glow. Twinkleshine released her hold and dropped the papers, panting slightly. Luckily, I caught them in my own levitation magic before they became lost within the other papers lying about the room.

“Are you alright, Twinkleshine?” I asked.

“I’m fine,” she replied, “but can you hold them in the air with your magic?”

“Why not just set them on the desk?”

“No no, the class I took said not to let the object touch other things... or was that only other literature? It’s been so long since I’ve tried it... but to be safe, I think you should just hold it for me. Like you mentioned, shouldn’t be life-threatening, right?”

Well, I only said that because I have no idea how expert magic works, and that I really needed her to help. I noticed she seemed to doubt herself, and that made her more nervous than concerned at this point. It even made me worry, as I hesitated to lift the papers like she asked. With the story held by my magic, she focused hers once more. The papers began to glow in her magic’s aura, with mine still just a hazy veil over it. I started to lose grip on the story, but I didn’t know if this was a part of her spell or not.

“K-keep... keep it in the air, Written!” she spoke abruptly, noticing my horn’s aura fading.

I put in more effort to keep the papers aloft. Nothing seemed to be happening, which was odd. She strained harder, but my magic was disappearing again for no reason.

“Twinkleshine, how long is this going to-” I asked, to only be cut off.

She lost focus and panicked when I said that. A ray shot from the papers and blasted me with intense force. I was knocked back and onto the floor very quickly. My body stung as if I was burned, but I saw nothing wrong. I sat up and Twinkleshine rushed over to me, placing her hoof on my forehead.

“Written, are you alright!?” she said.

I tried to speak, but I found myself mute. In fact, I felt fairly tired for some reason and couldn’t concentrate on anything at all. A wavering discomfort lingered on until I shut my eyes from the unknown fatigue.

My mind was drifting, but I was aware, unlike a dream. I knew I was conscious, but everything around me was pitch black. I gazed around and saw nothing, not even my own appendages. I faintly heard Twinkleshine’s voice, though I could barely make it out. She called out my name repeatedly, which eventually became grating because damnit, I know who I am, Twinkleshine! Sheesh... am I dead? Is this pony heaven? Will I be known as that guy who died during an epic fail moment in magic history? If so, can I be in the newspaper? I hope they have a picture of me before the incident; I have a great photo in my closet by the way, just saying. I don’t want to look all dead and stuff... because that would be creepy, and who wants to see that before a meal?

Twinkleshine’s voice continued on, much to my dismay. Was she... sobbing? Oh sweet Celestia, she’s sobbing... On second thought, is this hell? I don’t want to sound like I’m being intentionally mean, but isn’t it called “Rest in peace”? Thankfully, she stopped moments later. I could hear her gasp, and then take a long sigh in some sort of relief. I could start to understand her better, though not very clearly.

“Written, thank goddess you’re still breathing!” she exclaimed, “Don’t worry I’ll try to fix this!”

Wait does that mean... Oh no! I’m in a coma!? Please Twinkleshine, don’t take me to a hospital! All they have there are old magazines. If I didn’t know any better, I think they were published in the Crystal Empire... before Sombra took it over! W-what if, she read those while I was like this!? Nopony should be subjected that kind of torture! Hmm... what was that?

My frantic thoughts were quieted when I heard the sound of breathing. I listened very carefully to the sound. Was that my breathing? But how could that be, since it sounded so far away. This confused me to no end as I tried to figure this out. I heard the sound of hooves against the wooden planks of the room, and became louder as it approached me.

“Are you actually... did it really...?” Twinkleshine whispered, trailing off occasionally.

I could hear her magic activating, but it was nearly deafening. A thundering sound erupted, was it... the sound of pages being turned? Twinkleshine’s activities were causing some sort of shockwave in the darkness that enveloped me. I could see fissures along the black void, with different colors shining through. My appendages were fading into existence, and I felt my bodily control returning. The blackness was starting to shatter, almost similar to breaking glass. Once it all dissipated, I found myself standing on a dirt road next to a white fence along one side.

“Twinkleshine, can you hear me?” I said, realizing my voice had returned as well.

There was no response, but I listened to anything I could hear. It sounded like walking, then a door opening and then shutting. I turned my attention back to the dirt road I was on. Am I tripping? Or, is this some sort of crazy magic-induced dream? I looked up at the sky and froze at what I saw. All the thoughts I had appeared in text against the blue expanse. I could see the entire paragraph of text I was forming, the more I kept thinking, the more words appeared.

What’s even stranger is that I saw the sentences where I freaked about old newspapers. It looked so... stupid. Is this how I think, let alone write? There suddenly were approaching quotation marks, better get prepared for dialogue.

Anytime now...

“Oh lookie here, it’s the author,” A voice said.

I swiftly turned towards them, to see a green pony with a white mane standing nearby. Somehow, he seemed vaguely familiar; all the traits did at least. Author, what did he mean by that?

“And who are you?” I said.

“Uh, don’t you know?” he continued, “I’m Viridian Leaf, the protagonist.”

I broke out into laughter, and glanced at the sky. It said, “The author then chuckled at the green stallion hysterically, then checked the sky to reassure himself that the text was, indeed, still there.” Viridian Leaf, that was a very generic name! The pony didn’t seem to share my sense of humor, and instead gave me an annoyed look. If I am the author, I must have forgotten to add a likeable personality in him.

“Well, sorry you feel that way...” Viridian replied.

“What are you talking about, I didn’t say anything yet?”

“I read the paragraph up there,” Viridian pointed to the text in the sky.

I was getting ready to reply, but I heard more noises off in the distance. It was Twinkleshine again, but I couldn’t see quotation marks like before.

“Well, mister Viridian, since you seem to know everything,” I said smugly, “what is that noise? Don’t cheat by looking at my sentence either.”

“I-I do not know... I only know that you are the author of this tale,” he replied.

Hmm... maybe I actually am inside this story? This wasn’t exactly what I had expected, but I wasn't too sure about if I could edit from here or not. I was interrupted by the outside noise again; a very loud slam and running.

“Raindrops! I need your help, I-” she called out.

“Calm down, Twinkleshine, what is it?” the pony I assumed to be Raindrops said.

“I was helping Written Script with his story, which at first I wasn’t sure about, then... then... Raindrops, I think I trapped him in the story by accident!”

If I were made of glass, I would shatter into bits. Then I would probably have a caution sign nearby, warning not to step on me. I bit my lip and looked down, trying to contemplate what happens now.

“Just set the papers on the table here, and let’s go find some help,” Raindrops continued, “come on, just relax and...”

Their voices became faint, getting out of comprehendible range. I hope they could get me out of this thing soon. Actually, now that I think of it, was there still edit the story like this? Twinkleshine probably won’t be able to retrieve me for quite a while, as the ponies I know always take their sweet time. I don’t know how this issue involves Raindrops, because Twinkleshine’s the smartest pony among my friends. Raindrops isn’t even a Unicorn... well, at least I don’t think she is. It’s a weird phenomenon, sometimes I see a pony with the same Cutie Mark, coat, mane, and what have you, but sometimes they’re a completely different race. I swear I even saw Noteworthy have only one eye!

“That all sounds very far-fetched, Written, but don’t you think we should advance the plot?” Viridian questioned.

“What, is this pace too boring for you?” I asked in return.

“Not the plot of this story, but this one. You mentioned editing, so shall we proceed? Remember your other tale, where the grammar was broken beyond repair?”

“You weren’t even in that story...”

“Yes I was, because you like using the same OC over and over again... without expanding on their character.”

I’m being criticized by a fictional character that I made. At least I make stories with OCs only, just imagine if I wrote ones that involved my friends? I knew he could see all of this passage in the sky, so I didn’t bother speaking it. I’ll just follow him through the events and try to remember exactly what I wrote.

“Alright, let’s start walking down the road. When I get farther up, I come across another pony. His name’s more generic than mine, so even I forgot it.” Viridian explained.

According to him, I’m not that good of an author. Pfft, what does he know? Maybe when I get out of this story, I’ll change his character. Heh, I’ll make him an oaf... but that might annoy my readers. He was too fixated on the walk, so I knew he couldn’t see my current narration in the sky.

The entire path ahead wasn’t creative. I mean, it was just a dirt road with a fence along the side; it didn’t even curve at all. Eventually, and by that I mean forever, we saw a grayish-blue pony sitting against the fence. It had been a while since I last heard the voices of the outside world, I wondered if everything was going well with Twinkleshine, or if Raindrops had found any “help” yet.

“Okay, this is an important plot point,” Viridian said, “I just walk up casually, then he-”

“Is this your actual dialogue, or are you just explaining the story?” I interrupted.

“Explaining, why?”

“Well stop, all this exposition is going to kill me... By the way, do you know if it’s possible to die in literature? I mean dead-dead, without any contrived events bringing me back?”

“I wouldn’t know... but anyway, just follow along, this should-”

“Will you just move the plot along!? The reader is probably getting bored of this conversation...”

“Reader...?”

“Forget it,” I said, throwing my hooves up, “any more explaining will break... barriers...”

After that long drawn out event, Viridian stepped over to the pony by the fence. He looked up at Viridian, giving a powerful stare. The pony didn’t say a word and turned his attention towards me. He smirked and stood up then began walking up to me. Viridian seemed bewildered; he wanted to say something but struggled doing so.

“Written! Glad that you could join us here,” he said, “this is the first time I’ve ever met you face-to-face.”

“And you are?” I replied, raising an eyebrow.

“The name’s Fluffy Eyes.”

“Sounds painful...”

An important memory started coming back to me. It said, “I shouldn’t use name generators”. Though, I can’t blame them, due to the fact that most of our names are just verbs and nouns... But damnit Rum and Monkey, if I get Candy Dazzles one more freaking time... I’m starting to realize that I have yet to do any editing at all. I could notice Fluffy Eyes gazing upwards at the paragraph I was writing, but soon found himself stopping when he read this sentence. He was about to speak, but voices from beyond the story were upon us again. This time, it wasn’t Twinkleshine’s or Raindrops’. It sounded masculine, but familiar.

“Raindrops, you home?” he said, “I was wondering if you wanted to go see a movie tonight... Hello?”

I could hear them walking around, the creaking of floorboards becoming increasingly louder and fainter the whole time.

“What’s this?” the pony questioned, “Oh neat, a draft!”

Is this guy seriously going to-yup, he did. Whoever this was not only entered somepony’s house uninvited, now they’re taking the story and I with them. What was unsettling is that he mumbled to himself occasionally, talking about such things as impressing other ponies with his writing. Hold on, his writing? Is he going to use my work, or does he plan to edit it? Either way, it worried and frustrated me to no end.

What does that mean for this story? I shrugged it off rather quickly. Twinkleshine’s magic would probably prevent outside input... right? No no, I’m sure it’ll be fine; I just have to wait it out. Eventually help would arrive, so I can take a long break from ever touching a piece of literature again.

Author's Note

Anything retarded from this point on is purely intentional, folks.