It is said that certain innate feelings can remain dormant for as long as half a lifetime. That such dormant feelings for another you may have known your entire life can be quickly and violently awoken by something as simple as a sound or a smell... even sight. And what could be more powerful than a single image of something important to you? Something that has been cast in a completely different light? Because when that happens, nothing will ever be the same for either of you ever again.
For Braeburn, it was something a little more than a simple emotion. This feeling had its roots in the past, edged on by acts that he had performed when he was just a colt. There was never anything bad or suspect about those days. He was young, he was curious... and so was she. Simple innocent exploration, where was the shame in that? Or at least, this was what he had been asking himself for the past few days. "Where was the shame? How can something that is viewed as so wrong feel so damn right?"
The weeks that lead up to the Appleloosa rodeo had been nothing if not exciting. All the planning and training that he had put into his chance at winning it this year had been the only thing on his mind. Yet even with all his efforts, nothing could have prepared him for the injury that left him benched and unable to compete. Frustrated and disheartened, Braeburn had no choice but to relinquish his role as thrower and try to find a substitute good enough to fill his horseshoes.
Not that he had to look very far. His entire family was invested in the farm life. Rodeos were a natural- born talent to the Apples, so asking his favorite cousin to attend in his absence was a pleasure for her. With little more than a week to spare, Applejack made the journey to the dusty little town, and in no time at all, spruced up her rodeo skills. Without a single doubt in her mind, Applejack went on to win the Rodeo tournament for Braeburn’s team. An accomplishment that left him with great pride for his family as well as his cousin. A fairy tale ending for anypony who would care about such things. But something was left to be desired. Something old and unattended.
Yes, the rodeo was a success, but there were a few hiccoughs along the way. Some of which were things that could have been completely avoided had it not been for his irresponsible behavior. Applejack was good enough to take his place in the rodeo so the least he could do was look after her younger sister and her two friends. It seemed an easy feat, yet Braeburn was hardly wise to exactly how willful and headstrong his filly cousin truly was. To top it all off, the town was already on high alert after the mysterious instances of vandalism perpetrated by that darned Clydesdale, Trouble Shoes.
Sure, it all turned out to be a misunderstanding, the horse was found out to be innocent, if not overly clumsy. The entire town learned that he was only a misunderstood character, not a criminal, and it was all thanks to those three fillies. But that didn't change the fact that they had disappeared into the night under his watch. In all the confusion, he had no choice but to confess his inability to watch three minors to his cousin. So with a heavy heart, Braeburn trudged through the mud and the rain towards the barn in order to rally up a search party.
This was where it first happened. He couldn't quite place it, he couldn't even understand it. But at that moment, of all times, he felt that old, repressed desire. He stepped into the barn and saw her there, all drenched and worked up, her mane soaked and flat against her neck, her coat damp and disheveled, accentuating her lean figure. That pout she wore on her face when she turned to him was an image he would never forget. Instead of worry for his missing cousin, he felt... aroused. For the first time since he was a colt he saw Applejack in a completely old and embarrassing way. He had momentarily forgotten about the whole world and could only notice just how drop dead gorgeous his cousin was.
***
Braeburn sat with his body propped up against the window sill of his barn, staring out at the endless badlands that stretched beyond the apple orchard and out into the canyons beyond the horizon. He tried to bring himself to reality, tried to make himself think of something...somepony else. But it was simply no use, he needed to do something and he needed to do it fast. Yet with the way things had gone leading up to the rodeo itself, he was under the impression that Applejack's opinion of him had definitely taken a downward turn.
"It's your darn cousin!" he hissed under his breath, leaning against the sill. "Way ta embrace them country stereotypes..."
Yet sitting there on his own and brooding was no way to go about solving his predicament. Braeburn at least prided himself in his ability to tackle any problem head-on, and the only way he could see himself doing that now was by... confessing... all this to his cousin... somehow.
Applejack was still here with her younger sister for one more day before the train was scheduled to leave. If he didn't do it now, he may never get the chance again. Over time, the Apples had a habit of burying these sorts of feelings away.
"Right," he said with a new sense of determination as he got to his hooves and made for the barn door.
For some reason an odd saying about barn doors not swinging in a certain direction crossed his mind while he trotted down Appleloosa's only road towards his own house on the corner of the town's entrance. At least that's where he hoped Applejack would be, seeing as he had been generous enough to give up his bed for her.
Stepping onto the patio and making his way into the little homestead, Braeburn couldn't help but feel a sense of anxiety. He was shaking all of a sudden, nervous and unsure how exactly he was supposed to word his feelings to his cousin. But still he figured, better to confess now then have it eat away at him in her absence.
"Ahem... Er... Applejack? Y'all in here?" he called after clearing his throat awkwardly.
"Brae?" he heard her reply from somewhere upstairs. "Ah'm up in the room, gettin' all mah things in order."
Braeburn looked up towards the small stairway leading towards the two bedrooms on the second floor. "Is erm... Applebloom up there with ya?"
There was a slight pause before he heard a reply. "Not at the moment... Ah think she an' her friends are sayin' their goodbyes to Trouble Hooves. Ah mean that's what they told me anyway."
"Oh," he muttered, wondering why it was all of a sudden okay to let them go wandering on their own. Perhaps he shouldn't question it and be thankful that he didn't have to have this conversation with the three fillies bouncing around the room. "Right... Ah'm comin' up."
With a final intake of breath, a jelly-legged Braeburn began to hoof his way up the stairs and towards his bedroom. He paused only slightly before pushing his way through the door and looking up at his cousin.
"Ya look as if ya seen a ghost or somethin,'" she commented, turning away from her bag on the bed and facing him directly. "That leg of yers still giving ya trouble?"
"Erm..." Braeburn stammered, lifting his injured leg slightly. "Yeah it... it was hard gettin' up these here stairs... I guess."
"Well at least you got rid of that bandage," she said. "Road to recovery..."
"Ayep...", was all Braeburn managed as he began to awkwardly scratch the floor with his hoof.
Applejack gave him an almost knowing look before bringing the conversation to a head. "Ah know what ya came here for," she said as she turned back to the bed, lifting a small pink ribbon into her mouth and packing it neatly into her bag.
Braeburn looked up at her curiously. "Y-ya do..?"
"Well its written all over ya face, Brae," she responded casually, "and Ah'd be fish without a fin if Ah couldn' read mah own cousin's thoughts."
Braeburn could only stare at her.
"And It's okay to feel the way ya do... But seriously... it's done, so let's forget about it."
Braeburn's mouth dropped open slightly. "Ya just gonna treat this like it's nothin'?"
"Because it is nothin', Brae. No harm done."
"But I can't hide these feelings... it's just... it ain't anythin’ just nothin' to me!" he bellowed, without being able to control himself.
Applejack's eyes widened at his outburst, "Hide what feelin's? The fillies are all fine... apology accepted... y'all don't needa make a mountain over a molehill."
"T-the... fillies?" Braeburn stammered in confusion.
"What the hay else? Ya feel bad about lettin' them outta yer sight... I get it... But like Ah said, no harm done."
Braeburn felt like an idiot, Applejack was clearly unaware of his true intentions. Chalking it up as some silly apology for being an irresponsible caretaker, he stood awkwardly with red cheeks and the clear indication of something far graver written all over his face. Something Applejack could read almost instantly.
"Ya didn't come here to apologize... did ya?" she said, breaking the silence and turning back to him fully. "Brae. What... feelin's?"
Braeburn felt his cheeks going redder still, unable to look Applejack in the eyes. He could feel her gaze and could sense the air of confusion in her stance. He had hoped that this conversation would be something he could have eased her into, but now it seemed as though the cards were all on the table. Better to just spit it out.
"So uhm..." he whispered in attempt to find his composure yet still keeping his eyes fixed to the floor. "Ya remember long ago? Back when we was still youngin's?"
Applejack seemed to be able to put two and two together quite quickly, yet she remained silent. A simple nod was all Braeburn received before he saw fit to continue with his admission. He started with the innocence of their past, commenting on how the exploration of each other's bodies was nothing more than harmless curiosity. He stammered and “um'd” his way through the grittier parts of his recollection of the night that he saw her in the barn. The way he envisioned her seemed to give him a little boost in his descriptive skills, a boost that also left him feeling somewhat aroused. It was at this moment where Applejack finally opened her mouth to utter a single word.
"Stop..."
Braeburn looked up at her for the first time since he started his monologue, steeling himself for the icy glare he would no doubt receive from what he imagined to be a flabbergasted Applejack. Yet no icy glare or look of disgust. Applejack simply looked... relieved?
"Applejack, Ah..." he began, stepping slightly closer to her. "What happened back then was innocuous. It didn't mean nothin'... we ain't done nothin' wrong... yet."
"'Innocuous'?" she asked. "Since when did ya start usin' such big words?"
"Ah had ta look it up," he responded. "Sounds kinda sophisticated an' all that. Wait..." he shook his head, "wherever Ah learned them words ain't the point. The point... the point is that... well... Ah love you, Applejack. It ain't somethin' Ah could ever describe as... normal."
"It's garsh darn crazy is what it is," Applejack retorted. Although it seemed more to herself than him. "Ain't nothin' right about cousins being all intimate with each other. Regardless of what either of us might feel about one another."
"So you do feel somethin'?" he questioned, looking straight into her emerald eyes.
"That's not what Ah s-"
"Y'all can't deny there's no chemistry goin' on up in here," he interrupted, now starting to gain a bit of confidence. "When Ah told you mah feelin's, ah imagined you laughin' like most mares would do. But ya just stood there, looking all as if the world had been lifted off ya. Tell me. Tell me Ah'm just whistlin' dixie's, an' Ah'll just walk on outta here an' we ain't ever gotta speak of this again."
A slight pause followed before she responded.
"For you it was easy," she whispered, turning her head away from him. "Only feel what ya do now of all times."
Braeburn simply stared at her.
"When for years Ah've been able ta just hold it all in," she continued. "Now y'all gotta ruin it all by tellin' me Ah ain't alone."
Silence descended on them after that. Applejack unable to look at him and Braeburn not able to look away. His thoughts had been racing the entire time he had confessed his feelings. But now it all hit a brick wall. He had never expected to get this far, never thought that she would admit to feeling something for him too.
"Why would they laugh?" she finally asked.
"What?"
"Why would other mares laugh if ya told them yer feelings for em'?"
Braeburn pawed at the floor once more. "Cause Ah ain't never been with no mare before."
"What?" Applejack blurted in amusement. "Ah'd have thought ya mighta at least had a few run- ins with mares here in Appleloosa... Ah mean... it's a small town. Plenty of time ta... get to know each other."
"These mares ain't got no bumpkin sense to smash together half a brain. Even Ah have standards..."
Applejack looked up at him and laughed awkwardly. Half flattered, half nervous to push this any further. "Brae, why don't ya just come sit here by me? This whole doorway conversation is makin' this more uncomfortable than it all needs ta be."
His eyes automatically lingered upon her flank as she spoke, caught between morality and desire. He knew that the moment he went to join her his basic instincts would win. Yet not even a second had passed before he set one hoof ahead of the other, slowly moving towards her and finally seating himself awkwardly to her left. Their eyes met, the two of them inches from each other, and the tension between them slowly began to evaporate.
"Ah don't wanna ruin anythin'," he said quietly. "But Ah have a bad habit of not bein' able to hold a darn thing in for too long."
"I dunno what ta think," she responded quickly. "Ah'm just... confused. Mah head says this, mah body goes and says that. Brae, Ah..." Applejack blinked, trying not to give away too much. "What makes me so special? Why am Ah better than any mare in town?"
Braeburn didn't answer right away, his mind unable to process an answer that would make much sense. He had to try anyway. "Well... Ah feel... comfortable with you. Ah feel like Ah can touch you, ah can hold you... an' never feel as though Ah might be doin' the wrong thing. Maybe it's because yer the only mare I've ever... you know... been all intimate with."
"Yeah but that was-"
"And maybe it's cause ya got... smarts. Ya been places, seen things. Yer wise and... pretty. Ya smell like cherries even though ya deal with apples. And when ya scrunch yer muzzle, all Ah wanna do is just... kiss it. Ya know me better than anypony in all of Equestria. Yer the only pony that gets me."
In an instant, Applejack found herself pressing her hoof up against his, the sudden and unexpected action causing him to stir slightly.
"Ah ain't never been with no buck either," she finally said.
"Seriously?"
"Eeyup, never really had the time. Ah mean, I work on a farm, Ah ain't never even thought about any other buck like this before. Ah only really thought of you. If Ah felt like... Ah dunno... horny. All I could think of was what we'd done before. Ah got no stimulation from nothin' else. Ah suppose... Ah suppose whenever Ah felt tender Ah would automatically just think of you. Maybe it's what makes this so damn hard to resist. Like..." Applejack slowly inched her body closer to his, cuddling up to him. "Like... Ah've always wanted to do this... be this close to you. Be alone with you..."
Braeburn could hear the sound of his own heart beginning to beat wildly. He hadn't even realised how stiff and tense his body had become. Yet the moment he felt the warmth of her’s press up against him he began to melt into her. His cheek now brushing against hers. His member beginning to stiffen up against his stomach.
"Eh..." he stammered. "Yer really warm..."
Applejack smiled in spite of herself herself. She was enjoying this and she couldn't bring herself to reason. Buck it, she thought, there was no reason... nor rhyme. There was only this moment, where she could feel him close to her, that’s all that mattered. Was there really any harm?
Slowly she began to lock her hoof around his, "yer trembling, Brae."
Of course he was. This was too much too fast, yet not enough to make him want to stop. "Sorry..." he stammered. "Ah'm new to this."
"That's alright..." she whispered into his ear, now resting her chin upon his shoulder and nuzzling his neck. "Ah can't stop myself now."
Braeburn's mind was racing, his thoughts all jumbled into a spiral of pleasure. The fact that they were related was now the last thing on his mind as he felt her gently kiss on his neck. Without even thinking about it, without even knowing what would happen next, he slowly twisted his body towards hers. In one fluid and elegant motion, his lips found hers. They were soft and supple, like the delicate brushing of one's body against fine silk. He felt her pressing up against him, her lower body millimeters away from his fully extended member.
Even though he had initiated the kiss, it seemed as though she had taken full control. Her forehooves locked around his neck as she took the kiss into an even deeper and more passionate embrace. He could feel her leaning almost all her weight up against him, until his balance was finally offset. Braeburn felt himself fall backwards onto the bed, his passionate lover flopping perfectly on top of him.
"Oh..." Applejack simpered, pushing herself up slightly and gazing down at him. "Who's this now?"
Braeburn could feel his cheeks almost melting off his face. "Ah guess... he's just happy to see ya," he said coyishly, hoping to sound somewhat in control of the situation.
"Well color me excited..." she chided with a grin, moving her hooves towards his lower extremities.
"Erm..." he grunted, feeling her hoof touch upon his tip. "I... y-you... You sure you ain't never done this before?"
"Ah'm sure," she replied, gently rubbing her hoof down his shaft. "Ah just have these feelin's... that when Ah touch you like this... Ah just know what Ah'm doin'. Don't ya feel it too?"
"Ah dunno," he admitted in strangely high voice. "Ah haven't really done much... A-ah mean... Not yet..."
Braeburn was finding it hard to concentrate on anything other than the immense buildup that was beginning to originate from below. He was already sweating profusely, while forcing himself to hold back. Giving her the pleasure of coaxing his body to an orgasm was something he thought shouldn't happen until... well until later.
"Okay..." she said with a smile, taking his hoof into hers and slowly guiding it towards her soft underbelly. "Y'all just need to touch me more... like this..."
He felt her caress herself with his hoof, lower and lower until he could feel something warm, tender and slightly moist. All the while having his own appendage gently stroked in unison.
Applejack let out a tiny sigh. "Now... just do what Ah'm doin'... oh... yeah... just like that."
The battle to keep himself from climaxing was getting harder and harder. He was in a kind of trance, his body completely in rhythm with hers. Never in his years had he felt anything quite like what was pressed against his hoof. Five seconds would pass by and it would feel like an eternity. Every moment a struggle to keep himself from over reaching, from over exerting. Anything to keep this fever pitch exactly as it was. Soon he knew that through all this excessive rubbing something had to change. He wanted more. Applejack could sense this and slowed down to halt, Braeburn following suite.
"You okay?" he asked nervously.
"Ah am..." she murmured. "But Brae... Ah can't go all the way... N-not now..."
Braeburn said nothing but secretly knew that it would be insane to go beyond the point of no return. Even now in the heat of the moment a part of him resented himself for even coming this far.
"But..." she continued, situating herself closer towards him. "Ah can finish you off in... other ways."
Taking care to avoid his tip, Applejack slowly lowered herself upon him and slid her moist sex along his shaft. The mere thought of having their two most intimate body parts coming into contact sent a giant pulse of pleasure through Braeburn's entire being. It was better than any feeling he had ever experienced, better than how he what he had ever dreamt it would be. The few moments it took for him to finally release his built up load over his own chest literally felt like a lifetime. He felt his muscles begin to relax, his head tilted backwards in ecstasy. His only regret being that he had experienced this climax without sharing it with his partner. He looked up at her, into those piercing eyes, and could only smile. A smile that she graciously returned before closing her eyes and leaning into him, while lightly nibbling his nose.
"A-ah... can't feel my legs," he heard himself stammer stupidly.
She chuckled richly, slowly crawling off him and seating herself back next to him. Braeburn tilted his head to look up at her. He could see specs of his sticky mess glistening on her upper coat. He wasn't sure whether it was post-coital tristesse or simply the realization that he couldn't satisfy her in the same way she did him, but something about seeing that image, that sticky mess, made him resent what had just happened. He had this dreaded feeling that things would never be the same again, that he had wandered too far. Worst still, looking upon her, seeing that glint of satisfaction in her eyes, he could see no such crisis of morality was spinning through her mind. She enjoyed this.
Applejack cocked her head to the side, arching her back slightly and looking down at him, "Oooooo, Braeburn's looking a little worried," she chided in an innocent girly voice. "Ah hope it ain't nothin' too serious, now."
"No, A-ah..." Braeburn slowly straightened himself up, stopping only to gape at the mess he had almost spilt from his chest to the bed. "Darn..."
"Hold up," Applejack said, hopping cheerfully off the bed and trotting to the bathroom. Returning moments later with a white towel which she dropped next to him.
"Oh... the towel? You sure?" he asked.
Applejack merely sniggered. "It's your house, dummy. That'd be your towel."
"Oh right," he responded, his mind clearly not registering anything normal.
With haste, he began to wipe down his chest and tip, scrunching the towel as to keep its contents from dripping out and slowly placing it beside him.
"So?" she pressed, pushing the towel aside and sitting back next to him. "How was it?"
"Good..."
"Oh?" He could feel her cheeks pressed up against his shoulder. "Ah guess ain't either of us can really judge from experience now, can we?"
"Ah... guess not," he replied, turning his head to face her.
Goddess, she looked so cute like that. The sultry expression on her face as she gazed up at him with those titillating eyes sent him into a spiral of both doubt and regret. How long had Applejack felt such feelings for him? How long had she hidden them away for her to display such acceptance for his admission? For here she lay, snuggled up next to him with a look that seemed to express a life long dream fulfilled. She was happy. Happier than he had seen her in longer than he could remember.
So why did he feel like this? Why did he feel so apprehensive all of a sudden? How could something so right feel... wrong? His emotions had done a full 180 in the time between coming here and being with her. His thoughts raced through all the reasons why this was an obscenity. Why out of all the things he had admitted, all the things he had said to her that had coaxed her to fall into his embrace had been nothing but a sexually driven rouse. He felt disgusted. Not just with the act, but with his new found feelings of apprehension. No amount of sexual pleasure could make up for the foulness of his actions. For Luna's sake, he told her he loved her. Was that just a lie? He didn't know. All he knew was that he would rather be anywhere else than here.
This was wrong. Not even the incestuous nature of it. No. This was worse. He had lead her on. He had said and done things to satisfy nothing more than base curiosity. Innocent exploration for sexual gain. Hadn't that been the drive all along? Was this the only reason why he hadn't foreseen some kind of future in this? Applejack was no longer an innocent filly. She was a fully grown mare with desires and feelings. What had he done?
"So quiet... so thoughtful," she whispered. "What's happening in there, mister?"
"Ah can't help but think..." he tried.
"Shhh..." she cooed, placing her hoof to his lips. "Ah know ya so well. Ah know everything there is to know about ya, Brae. When Ah look into them eyes, Ah see worry... ya worried Ah won't say those words..."
"W-what words?"
She smiled, gently turning his face to her lips. "Ah love you..."
