"Legs spread same width as the shoulders, body tight, then hit the ball like your defeating the enemy. Here the pinky finger is the key. Then you just hit hit hit kaking-bingo!" Scratch was swinging my bat under the bridge with her magic.
"What are you talking about?" I said it more out of annoyance than anything, trying to focus on the work in front of me.
"He who conquers the left conquers the world chief. Setting the parameters... that's the really hard part."
"Are you talking about a video game?" I was finding it increasingly difficult to ignore her as she kept swinging that bat.
She finally stopped swinging and looked over to me. "Hey Ta-chan, what're you doing?"
"Homework." I hated it when she called me that, it's what she called my sister when they were still together. I couldn't help but feel like she only saw me as an extension of her.
"Then why don't you do it at home?" She looked at me like she was confused.
"Because it's not cool." I couldn't help but let out a sigh.
"You could do my homework if you want to, huh chief?"
I scoffed. "As if..."
She levitated the bat back into my lap. "You should play baseball too Ta-chan. Why do you always carry around a bat?"
I paused a moment to actually look at her. Her hair was hanging straight and rather greasy. She still wore her high school uniform even though she hardly ever went, sunglasses hanging around her neck along with her camera. Her red eyes had the darkest bags I'd ever seen under them. "Why do you always hang around here by the river?"
"Because you know..." She came around behind me and wrapped her front hooves around my chest, nibbling at my spikes. I won't lie, it felt nice, but it upset me for some reason. "Huh? Now why was it?"
"You're in a good mood." She kept going. "You smell like cigarettes. The strong ones."
"I haven't been smoking"
It didn't look like she was going to stop too soon so I decided to ask the question on my mind. "Scratch, why do you do this?"
"Your spikes." She replied.
"Wha? Ow!" She actually bit me that time.
"If I don't do it I'll overflow."
"What do you mean? What'll happen?" I fell over forward, but that didn't stop her.
"Probably, something amazing."
I sighed. "Yeah right..." Nothing amazing happens here, everything is ordinary. There's a huge factory thac can be seen from the town, the Medical Mechanica plant. Everypony was excited when it came here, like it was a big thing. The white steam that billows out everyday at the same time, looked like dragon smoke, as if it were warning me of something. It spread and covered everything. We walked up to the bridge and Scratch grabbed a soda from the vending machine that I payed for, one of the sour kind. I groaned. "You know I don't like sour drinks."
"Huh?" She looked at me, then noticed something on my neck. "Oh look a mark, wow." For Luna's sake, she actually left a mark on me. I tried to cover it up with a claw. "How about a Band-Aid?" She took another sip from the can and looked at it. "Here."
"What?"
"It's yours isn't it? There's more than half left chief." She kept levitating the can in my face, until I took it.
I took a drink, it was disgusting and made me pucker. I threw it to the ground with a frown. I looked back to her and swallowed hard. "You know what? Octavia... My sister, in Canterlot..." Before I could finish what I was going to say I heard the sound of something motorized heading towards me. We don't usually have vehicles running around with everypony having their own means of natural transportation. In my curiosity I turned around and saw a pony with a flight helmet on a scooter driving full speed towards me with a bass guitar in her front right hoof.
"All right! LUNCHTIME!" She screamed.
"What?" Before I could even try to comprehend what was going on I was hit at full speed by this pony's motor scooter as I dropped my bat to the ground and soon followed, unconscious. I could swear that halfway through the crash I heard Scratch take a picture of me being hit.
"Ta-chan!" Scratch ran to my side.
"STOP!" The pony who had just run me down held out a hoof as she got off her scooter. She had blue wings showing as she walked over to me. "Native girl must stop! Tavi-kun just hit his head so you can't move him yet understand?"
"But this isn't Tavi-kun"
The pegasus looked my sleeping body over for only a second before screaming. "He's dead! This young dragon is completely dead, just as Tavi would be!"
"But he's not Tavi, like I said." Scratch was rather annoyed.
The two of them began talking over one another. My assailant went on and on about how she had apparently killed me. "Oh I killed him, I finally find the S.O.B. and I killed him. I didn't mean to it was an accident, kind of." To this day I still don't know if she was sorry or if this was just a minor annoyance for her, or even if it was an accident.
On the other hoof, Scratch was trying to fight for my identity, though I think she was trying to convince herself more than this mystery pony. "His name is Spike. I call him Ta-chan though, it's kind of cute don't you think?"
The pegasus pony then collected herself and threw her flight helmet off in a rather dramatic fashion, revealing her rainbow mane and large pink eyes. She grabbed my face and determination drew itself across hers. "Come back to LIFE!" This was the first thing I remember when I woke up, her lips were on mine, puffing air into my lungs. I was absolutely horrified! My first kiss, and it was by somepony who just ran me over! I struggled out of it and gasped for my own air. "All RIGHT! And Tavi-kun is back!" She seemed rather pleased with herself.
"He's not Tavi ok? He's not even a girl let alone a pony." Scratch was almost screaming, well, for as close as a soft spoken pony can get to screaming.
"Oh really?" My attacker was finally listening. I noticed the red dress she was wearing. "That was close then, if it really was Tavi, she would have just turned into another statistic, death by motorbike." Suddenly an evil grin crossed her face. "I lucked out!" She grabbed up her bass. "Round two!" Again, before I could react, I felt her slam the guitar into my head. Thank Luna for tough scales or I really would be dead by now. Where were the guards when I needed them? She walked over to my and picked me up by my legs, shaking me upside down. "Here we go." She gave out an annoyed grunt as pocket change fell from my jacket. "It's not coming out, guess I'd better hit him again." She dropped me and reached for her guitar again.
"STOP!" Thank goodness, Scratch was protecting me. "He hit his head alright, you said yourself you shouldn't move him." Moving was the last thing I was concerned about.
I sat up and rubbed at the sore spot on my skull. "What did you do to me?" I felt weird, my head felt a lot lighter, understandable, but not like this. It was almost as if it were empty.
"C.P.R. What do you think I did?" She said as if I was stupid.
"That's not what I meant!" I yelled at her. Obviously she must have been the stupid one.
"Did she put her tongue inside?" Scratch asked matter-of-factly. On second thought, maybe she could give this pegasus a contest in stupidity.
The blue pony got back on her scooter as she replaced her flight helmet and guitar. "You are useless!"
"What are you talking about?!" Before I could get an answer she taunted me and drove off again. Good riddance.
"Whoa she's fast." Scratch admired, then looked at me as I held the spot I had gotten hit. "You need a doctor?"
I scoffed. "She's a stupid adult who doesn't know how to grow up!" I winced, my head was beginning to throb.
"Does it hurt?
Later in my room, something strange had developed. There was now a rectangular horn sprouting out of my forehead. Now I may be a dragon, but this wasn't normal. I pushed at it and it went back into my head, but popped back out only a moment later. "Ow! ... This isn't normal. Oh man, I can't even go to Nurse Redheart like this. I'll just find a way to hold it in place." I sighed at the next thought. "What'll the guys say in school tomorrow?
Needless to say I quickly found out. I had taken some gauze and Band-Aid to hold the bump in it's place. The crusaders started talking about the gossip around town. "Did you hear, she was around yesterday?" Scootaloo seemed to be the most excitable, like always.
"For reals?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"That looks real bizarre." Apple Bloom pointed out my makeshift Band-Aid.
"Yeah isn't it awesome?" Scootaloo continued her conversation with Sweetie Belle.
"Yer hidin' somethin' aren't ya? Come on Spike." Apple Bloom reached for my cover and i pushed her hoof away.
"Don't be such a brat." I wasn't too keen on showing off this weird mutation to the entire class.
"Spike Spike. Did you hear?" Scootaloo turned her attention to me.
"About what?" I already knew what was coming next.
"The Vespa Mare!" Scootaloo had a look of admiration on her face. "She's so awesome!"
"Vespa? Like the wasp?"
"She has a guitar." Sweetie Belle answered. Yup, they were talking about her alright.
"And a bike!" Scootaloo added.
"Not exactly." Sweetie Bell was much more relaxed abou thewhole thing.
"And when she stings she leaves a demons mark that shows you've been doing naughty things and it never goes away!" At Scootaloo's mention of this, I touched my bump. Was this what that was? I was with Vinyl that day as she...
"What naughty things?" Apple Bloom replied.
"Like something perverted." Sweetie Belle grinned.
"Perverted?" For whatever reason this answer excited Scootaloo.
"So what's that mark?" Apple Bloom returned her attention to me.
"It's the mark of the demon!" Scootaloo screamed.
"Really? Lemme see, lemme see!" Sweetie Belle suddenly got excited too. Just great...
"There's nothing to see. Knock it off, it's just a bump." I held my disguise in place with my claws.
"Did you see her Spike? Is she awesome?" Scootaloo's energy just kept rising.
"Did she sting ya?" Sweetie Belle wasn't far off from her level.
"PERVERT! He's a pervert!" Scootaloo began to scream. Needless to say she was getting annoying.
"What are you talking about?" I tried to deny them that I'd seen anything. As far as they knew it was still just a bump.
"PERVERT!" Dammit Scootaloo!
Apple Bloom gave a sly smile. "Let's see what's under there.
Nothing amazing happens here, everything is ordinary. So it's not a punishment like when I go to see Vinyl Scratch, it's just something I always do. It's ordinary. After school I decided to go to the hospital, I didn't want to think about vespa mare.
I was waiting at the train tracks when I heard her. "Hmm... Yeah, this is just right, has a good feel too." I could only let out a sigh at that voice. "So what happened yesterday after I left? Did something happen? Hey, something did happen right? Like something weird?" I could tell just by her tone she already knew, but I decided to ignore that fact anyways and continue denying it.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I just wanted her to leave. It was enough that she had done this to me, but it's almost as if she's experimenting on me, just watching for this weird stuff to happen.
She noticed the bandage. "What's that? A pimple? Looks kind of sick, putrefied." She made an ugly face. "You're not hiding something are you?" Before she continued I ran across the tracks before the train came by and let it separate the two of us.
At the hospital I sat in my seat with the... thing just out there. I'd never seen this nurse around before. She looked at pictures of my new protrusion at the dark corner of the room so it was hard to get a good look at her. "Hmm... Flictonic Clipper Waver Syndrome." I was pretty certain she just made that up. "Adolescent dragon psychological skin hardening syndrome. It's a common disease where baby dragon's grow oddly shaped horns from trying too hard."
She was so full of shit. "That's a lie, I've never heard that before."
"Yeah I lied; so what's the truth?" Her voice dropped and I felt my stomach sink.
"What are you doing in the hospital?"
"Stay right there." She sounded almost bloodthirsty as she reached for her bass guitar. "I'm going to make you all better!" She swung at me and I just barely dodged it. She stared swinging the thing like crazy, and I felt like my horn was a giant target. "It's my special treatment!" I managed to sneak away in her madness so I could run home. "Where'd he go? Hmm? Hey... HEY! Tavi-kun!"
Back at home I got a letter from Octavia. She had sent me a package in the mail a few days ago and was asking if I'd taken a look at the pictures inside. I took a quill and wrote my response. I don't need to see that Octavia, I'm busy. Go hang out with your friends instead, I don't care. I sent it off in a puff of green flame. I dreamt about my sister, she was batting, and I was dazzled by her swing. It seemed impossible that anything could have been so perfect.
"Spike, dinner." I heard Discord call me down for food and started on my way down. It wasn't exactly easy living with a Draconoquis, especially one as off the wall as my dad. I mean, usually it's bearable enough, but when he makes a stupid decision, it usually ends up causing a lot of chaos in the house, of course he enjoys that. But I'd deal with all of his stupid decisions in the past, every single one, if I didn't have to deal with what I saw before me now.
"IT'S YOU! THE VESPA MARE!"
Dad gave me a confused look. "Why are you yelling?"
"Hurry up and sit down silly!" Pinkie Pie (my grandfather in this story) was obviously pretty hungry.
"Hey!" The Rainbow pegasus said with a mouthful of ramen.
"Ah, yes. I just hired her to work for us." As Discord said these words my jaw simply dropped. "Her name is Rainbow..."
"Dash, pleasure." She spoke quickly as she ate fast. She was wearing a simple tee shirt now.
"I got run over you know. Smashed!" Dad pantomimed what he meant.
"By her Vespa?"
Pinkie Pie gasped. "It should have killed him! But he's still heeeere!" She sang.
"And instead we get a live-in housekeeper don't we?" Dad smiled with pride, as if getting run over was something to be proud about.
"Pinkie, the grandpa character doesn't have that much energy, you have to stay in charac-uh. I mean you got a housekeeper!? A housekeeper?!"
"I was watching Tavi-kun who was making out with a high school filly." The cyan pony chuckled, I felt my face heat up, whether from anger or embarassment I couldn't tell.
"Fondling her Yum-yums?" I ignored my dad as he said this.
"I told you I'm not Tavi!" I couldn't even keep an identity around this mare.
I felt my dad's talon around my neck as he tried to squeeze an answer out of me. "FONDLING HER CUPCAKES?!"
Pinkie gasped. "Cupcakes? I'll go make some right now!"
"No Pinkie, that's not the line! Keep in character. Honestly, just keep to the script."
"Okey dokey lokey! Oh, I mean. Hrmph!"
I rubbed the bridge of my nose, still in my headlock. "Okay Discord, we're good to go."
He nodded and picked up his part. "Who is this slut you're fooling around with? Huh? HUH?"
I gasped for air. "OW! It's Vinyl Scratch, we were down at the river."
"Really, the DJ?"
"........."
"Pinkie Pie that's you." Rainbow Dash muttered to the pink pony.
The pink pony burst out laughing. "I can't help it, this line is just so weird and funny!"
"Augh, Pinkie Pie, I don't care how weird it is, just say the line! Do we have to call for a cut?" I can't believe I'm working with this level of professionalism. I'm so sorry reader, here I was trying to put together a good story about Fooly Cooly and you have to deal with this, my apologies, I'll fix it. "Just do the part Pinkie Pie."
The pink pony kept laughing, but eventually calmed down. "Alright I'm ready."
"Good. Keep it going!" Again, I apologize. There are only so many things a baby dragon can control.
After a snicker Grandpa Pinkie spoke in a gruff voice. "I bet she does it like a weasel. She's cursed I tell ya."
"Ah-ha! Your sister is away so she is sinking her horn into you Spike! Fondling around, fooling around, FOOLY COOLY!" Dad dropped me and floated up until he almost touched the ceiling. "... What's Fooly Cooly?"
"How should I know? I'm still a baby dragon. You think I'm that crazy?"
Grandpa Pinkie kept playing with the words in the background. "Fooly cooly cooly cooly cooly..."
"I don't know what you're talking about." I rubbed my neck from the hold.
"Spike's just like me, he must be doing it, I know he's doing it. Doing doing Fooly colling." Discord crumpled up in a corner of the room, obviously upset about something.
"I see, pretty impressive little bro." Rainbow Dash had finished up her ramen and entered the conversation. Dad's attention turned back to her, renewed vigor in his body.
"What do you think Rainbow Dash?" That tone was so sickeningly perverse.
"What do ya?" Dash looked confused.
"Oh cooly cooly, like that?"
"Kool-aid?"
"Not like the curry powder aphrodisiac licked off my desk."
"Death."
"It's this kind of cooly cooly new modality."
"Noodle?"
"I mean like PMTV."
"Empty?"
I had no idea whether the two of them were holding their own private conversation in bizarre adult language, or if they were just as confused as I was, but they kept going. "Oh former assistant editor and chief I didn't know you had such a lovely young wife cooly cooly. Yes. It's kind of a cooly cooly dream thing."
Pinkie Pie pulled Rainbow Dash over to her and started making strange motions with her hooves. "Yeah, cooly cooly, is uh, you do it like this with your hooves. See?"
"Oh right. I'm already in that kind of relationship with Tavi here." Dash pulled me to her side, squeezing me.
Pinkie and Discord both stared at us and screamed at the same time "Relationship? How do you mean?"
"Hahahahaha! We said that at the same time!" Pinkie Pie was breaking character again, much to my chagrin.
"Pinkie Pie." I looked hard at the pony. "You said you wouldn't have a problem acting this part."
"Woopsie daisy. Sorry again Spike. I'm good now."
"You promise this time? I don't want to have to interrupt the story to deal with this again."
"I promise. My scene is almost over anyways." I couldn't stay mad at her when she flashed that giant smile.
"Alright. Everypony good to go?" I got ready to start again, waiting for their replies.
"I'm ready. I do have to thank you again for giving me the part of Kamon again Spike, the chaos in his scenes are delicious! Even if it is subtle." Discord couldn't help but smile.
"No problem Discord. I couldn't think of anypony else to play the part but you. Now are we ready?" I looked to Rainbow Dash and she nodded to me. "Good. Action."
"Relationship? How do you mean?" Both of my elders asked.
"Mouth to mouth!" Dash spoke in such a passionate manner, it almost convinced me! And I was there for her little 'C.P.R.' treatment.
Dad looked utterly defeated. "Mou...mmm...mou..."
Pinkie continued playing with her hooves. "Cooly cooly cooly."
I pushed out of Rainbow's grip and yelled. "I told you to shut up about that!"
"So, living in the same house and you two are already Fooly cooling I see." Dad looked like he would fall apart if so much as a breeze passed by.
I was well past annoyed by now. "Who cares if it's fooly or cooly."
"But you're still thinking about doing it tonight aren't you?" Dad returned with renewed aggression. I swear I could never read what mood he was going to swing into next.
"Stop acting like a foal!" I swear. He's an adult now, he shouldn't be acting this way.
"With that kind of perverted cooly cooly kind of dream you must be hiding it under this bandage. Aren't you?" He grabbed at my cover and tried to pull it off. I held onto it with all the strength I could muster.
"I'm not hiding anything!"
"Band-Aid." Rainbow Dash watched us fight and bicker casually as Grandpa Pinkie kept playing with her hooves some more. 'cooly cooly cooly cooly cooly cooly..."
After that fiasco I walked back up to my room and shut the door behind me. "They're in a good mood." I looked up and groaned, she was there again. She was looking up at Opal, talking to her, and the weird thing? It seemed as if the cat was responding.
"Ah well, they say they're making some point of medical machine or something. Yeah uh huh I didn't know that yet. Yes that's true. Got a point. The channel is improving and the kid I found here is pretty useless." I didn't understand what she meant by channel, but I knew the 'kid' was me. Opal meowed in response.
"Ask before you come in." I followed her as she walked over to the bunk bed and plucked her bass guitar.
"I see the bottom is yours so I'll sleep on top. Pegasus prefer to be closer to the sky anyways."
"Really? Who are you and what do you want?"
"I'm just a wandering house keeper." She smiled. It was such an obvious lie.
"Tell me the truth."
She looked up and kept her smile. "Alright, I'm an alien." There was no dishonesty in her eyes, but I couldn't just accept aliens were real.
"Right and this afternoon you were a nurse." I said it trying to dispel her alien argument, but the look in her eyes... it wasn't of any creature from Equestria.
"What's under the band-aid?" She knew. The worst part was, she knew more than I did.
I paused, probably from fear or uneasiness. "You're really freaky."
"Under the band-aid what's it like? Tell me." She became more demanding. It felt as if she were moving closer, reaching for my head, but she was still right there.
"I don't know."
"You're lying. You saw it.
"Something strange is happening."
"What are you hiding under the band-aid?"
"You did it didn't you?"
"You should know about your own head."
"Because you hit me there."
"Let's see it!" It was as if she were right on top of me, her hoof directly in my face about to tear away my cover. I shook my head and pulled myself out.
I stood there, watching her just sit there. I would've sworn she was right in front of me if I didn't see her now. "You came here with my father, why don't you go stay with him huh?" She plucked at her bass again. "What do you want?"
She stared back up at me with those large pink eyes and a sort of sad look on her face, as if I'd rejected her. "You're the one I saw first Ta-chan." She reminded me of Scratch and I sighed. I walked over and lied down on my bed, facing the wall.
"Anyways the top bunk is my sister's so nopony else can sleep there. That's the way it is."
"So how old is your sister? Where is she?"
"Canterlot."
"Why?"
"Baseball.
"Huh. She's a good player eh?"
She rolled up beside me and lied down as well. I felt my face get hot again and I jumped up. "You're sleeping here? Is this where you're sleeping?" I was freaking out. This shouldn't happen. We'd just be proving my quack father right.
She looked at me like I was stupid. "It's the only place dude. The top belongs to your sister right?"
I barged out of my room and went back downstairs with my claws in my pockets. "She's messing with my head." I touched my injury. "In more ways than one."
"Spike?" Dad was facing the door.
"Yeah?" I didn't really want to deal with him, but it was better than the 'alien' upstairs.
"We need to talk. About Rainbow Dash, you're against her staying here aren't you?" I believed that much was obvious. It wasn't my decision however, my dad was an adult and he could make his own choices.
"Do what you want, I don't care."
"It looks like you were run over too." He produced photos of Rainbow Dash running me over. I remembered the click from when Dash had sent me flying.
"Scratch came by? Where did she go?"
"She asked for some of the leftovers we had for dinner. It's a Vinyl type of thing, a divine type of thing. Is Vinyl Scratch... poor, would you say?" Discord gave a small toothy grin. He knew the answer well enough.
I didn't answer and went to the door. I ran, off to the bridge It took a while before I could get there on my own feet, but I did, panting. Vinyl looked back at me, a cigarette in her mouth. She had two saddle bags filled to the brim with food we'd had tonight. She turned her attention back to the water.
"He gave me a lot."
"Did she send you a letter? Or even contact you? Octavia, I mean..." My voice caught in my throat, I had to force my thoughts out of my throat. "How much did you like her?"
She fell silent for a moment, then took out a piece of bread "It's... It's hard."
"Of course it is... It's been a number of hours."
"As much as daisies."
"What?"
"Or like an angry teddy bear, or the smell of a new carriage, or waking up to rain on a Sunday afternoon. I like her more than hard bread at least." She sounded so... depressed.
I had to let her know. "Then you should know...know that she... met someone else. In Canterlot." I almost regretted saying it the instant it passed by my lips. She began to sob, tears leaked from her face in large quantities. I didn't know what to say so I simply responded. "What's wrong?"
Scratch dropped her bags and the bread, throwing herself back onto her hind legs, grasping at her head. "I'm gonna overflow."
"Huh?"
"I'm gonna overflow!"
"Scratch? What do you mean?" suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my head, under the bandage. My horn burst forth from under the gauze as Vinyl fell on the ground. "It's getting bigger." I placed a single claw to the horn before it shaped itself into a red metallic hand. The hand was connected to a robot that pulled itself out, he was thin with a television set for a head. Another hand erupted next to him and they started to grapple with one another. The robot burst free from my head, throwing the arm away from me. My jacket got stuck on the robot as he leaped back, facing the mechanical arm with wires dangling at the elbow. The robot dashed towards the arm, getting in a grapple once again, each struggling for control on the situation. I sort of dangled there as they fought. "Where's Vinyl?" I was tugged again as the two jumped off again. "What's going on?" The robot managed to smash through the hand, pulling out various wires and other electronics. I looked up at the metal man in admiration, then I heard the familiar sound of a motor behind me. "Rainbow!" I looked back and saw a vespa far in the distance with Rainbow Dash in the air, diving towards us with her bass in her mouth. With a grunt she smashed open the back of the robot's head, and it changed color from a crimson hue to a pale cyan. "Whoa!" As soon as I said that, I regretted it. In that very moment, just as she hit him, she looked like my sister. I sat and admired her. "Huh? Hey I'm stuck to this thing. Hey come on. Unhook me will yah?"
Dash only looked around the area confused. "Where is he?"
Anyway, the band-aid came off. The horn is gone. Nothing amazing. The next morning when I came walking down the stairs to get to school I could hear Dash instructing the robot on how to work around the place. Only the ordinary happens here.
