Scootaloo's Scooter Express

RING RING RING!

Yep, school is officially dismissed, but then most of the teachers remained in the building just to help those students that have trouble going through the materials they learned...

"And perfect time to complete homeworks!" Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo wickedly smiled and rubbed their hands rapidly down in the main hallway, near the main entrance/exit of the school building, while Apple Bloom turned against their backs and sighed.

"Hey, Sweetie Belle... Why don't you give me your lab and let me... You know... Get some fresh ideas...?" Scootaloo tilted towards her friend with her evil voice.

"Haha... Only if you can give me some of your completed homeworks in exchange... Or some notes that I missed during Social Studies..." Sweetie Belle grinned while flashing her teeth, again, both girls rubbing their hands evil-y as ever. Apple Bloom is really crapping in her pants and wanted to run away, but then again they were her friends, she didn't want to ditch them and let them think that she's a selfish prick (well she is at home). She wanted to get the two back to senses,

"Umm, guys? Ah don't think that's honest in a educational environment..."

"Oh no, I'm sorry! Hehehe! But I got much others to offer..." Scootaloo ignored Apple Bloom's warning and continued the negotiation, while to Apple Bloom it looks like a drug deal she has overheard from gangs nearby the school (or some terrorism dealing with money on crime and action movies), to others they were simply filled with mental issues.

"Alright, suit yourself, we're out Apple Bloom!" Sweetie Belle shrugged, left Scootaloo, and took the bus home with Apple Bloom, while Scootaloo was left in dust, falling onto the ground, not expecting that to happen.

"Fine! I can do this myself! Who needs you!" She shouted back, only to be stared at by teachers, and then there's Spitfire stopping by her side. Stared... And walked off.

".... Wow..." Scootaloo said, "Was that for real? She spared me this time? Was it because I was behaving well? YES!" She threw up her fist in excitement.

In reality...

"Scootaloo..." Spitfire sighed, "I'm really tired of punishing you, why can't you ever go through a day without getting into some sort of trouble...?" The Wondercolt coach shook her head in disappoinment, and exited out of the school building.

Scootaloo entered the lab room, seeing few other students working on their homework, studying for tests, and doing the lab.

"Except that everyone is done with the lab..." Scootaloo grumbled beneath her breath, she never wanted to be left behind by other people, but then she took Rainbow Dash's advice of staying motivated to complete her work, and there's a break she can eat on for two months afterwards, she quickly took out the laptop that she used from her lab class yesterday (the laptop cart was unlocked by the owner Mr. Shining Armor, so Scootaloo didn't waste time trying to find a way to break it open). She opened the laptop, and was ready to click on her Excel file she saved...

"Ahhh, wouldn't you look at that wallpaper..." Scootaloo's eyes turned into pink hearts when she noticed that she changed the laptop wallpaper from the Canterlot Secondary High's logo into a nude female prostitute with ripped dress and laying in such a position near a man on a broken couch thrown out onto the sidewalk, ready to be picked up by the garbage truck. Then all of a sudden, she sensed something threatening to her life, as if she must run away from a overpowered predator, like a deer being hunted by a tiger, or a zebra being chased down by a lion. However, Scootaloo was paralyzed by this uncomfortable presence, as if she encountered this before, and always fell for the trap of being jocked at, because the reason was walking towards the lab room as well, and it was...

"Ugh! I can't believe I'm having detention because I whispered to Cran Berry!" Diamond Tiara moaned, just like how Scootaloo moaned at her wallpaper.

"Well, she was teaching a class though... So I guess you can't blame her too much..." Silver Spoon shookingly disagreed. Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes at her best friend, and murmured a curse, but she nevertheless shrugged towards Silver Spoon's point and continued to walk to the center of the lab room until she saw Scootaloo.

"Well well well, look what we have here..." Diamond Tiara then wickedly smiled like Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle did earlier now, then Silver Spoon followed along. Scootaloo sighed and decided there was nothing to do about the two bullies but ignore them and work on the lab. Diamond Tiara has been the main antagonist of the Crusaders' problem; usually asking them for money since Ponyville Elementary, making fun of them with verbal missles, pranking them until their butt hurts, trolling them to the point where they're not even sure whether they should get mad anymore. Silver Spoon was just a follower of this cult, she sometimes do have some sympathy for the Crusaders, and will have opinions against Diamond Tiara's cruelty, but she didn't want to let Diamond Tiara catch her red handed to be a traitor and unfriend her, eventually becoming the victim of Diamond Tiara's bullying dummy. Ready to pounce onto her pray Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara slowly walked up to her...

"Wo-wow Scootaloo... Tha-that... Wallpaper..." The crowned girl froze as if she was shot in the chest, but it wasn't something that stroke her that she was completely unaware of, it was something she knew and it got her everytime. The wallpaper, the ideal prostitute, the amazing background of a whole dirty and rusty garbage truck, was part of Scootaloo's most admired collection (oops, that was spoiler). Diamond Tiara's mouth was opened wide, her jaw whammed onto the cement hard ground, her eyeballs popped out, her tongue rolled out like a celebrity's carpet, just drooling hard. Silver Spoon did the same, because she does not know what the freakin' hell is going on here, but after looking at the same wallpaper, she could not express her excitement, and was ready to jump on the laptop.

"Umm, girls?" Scootaloo gawped at the two, waving her hands in front of their faces, "Are you alright?"

Then without thinking she grabbed a meter stick and smacked them, face flat on the floor. Well okay she did this intentionally in return for being picked on by them all the time.

"That's how Spitfire rolls the class!" Scootaloo thumbed up, puts herself in a superhero's position from a dumb cartoon whenever they save the day, and smiled this crooked face so damn ugly that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon returned to their senses.

"Umm, actually... Scootaloo?" Diamond Tiara suddenly changed her mind from when she entered the lab room, "I actually want to own you an apology, for everything we have done that upsetted you and your friends."

Scootaloo paused, then she gaped also at the two. Her mind now shifted the gravity downside up, everything is now seen as reversed, or completely the opposite of what she should see. She is now spinning all sides, like a spherical dice being licked all over by a disordered person, she saw some windows to her right, and she could not wait to leap out of it and see how heaven deals with this bullcrap.

Scootaloo shook her head to make sure she's in the right place, 'an APOLOGY? What the freakin' hell is wrong with them? Or me?' She thought in her head. Slowly and hesitantly pointed her index finger at Diamond Tiara (and a secret middle finger to Silver Spoon). "You... You sure you came to the right person to ask this...?"

Diamond Tiara didn't pay attention to Scootaloo's reaction, but heard her clarifying question, and replied, "Well duh, that's why I called your name right? I regretted my whole life on making you guys feel like sore losers, you don't deserve it anymore."

Again went the insanity insider Scootaloo's head, now she literally inched towards the windows. 'DID THAT PERSON JUST SAY THAT?! DID YOU ALL HEAR THAT?!' Her mind yelled out to all of her body parts (somehow according to Scootaloo's autobiography handbook, Scootaloo's body parts all act on their own sometimes because Scootaloo is a serious retard), and Scootaloo is now acting like a seal arfing and barking while wiggling in the same place with seizure.

"We-we-wel-well... What in the world made you "suddenly" think that way t-to-today?" Scootaloo staggered, furiously making sure that she isn't falling into another trap set up by them, but the outcome was different this time.

"*Sniff* Because of that beautiful wallpaper you have on your laptop!" Diamond Tiara shed a tear and answered honestly, Silver Spoon nodded because she felt like it. The two girls are now heartbreakingly touched by the female prostitute and vowed to worship it like their own god, and they believed Scootaloo was the priestess.

"Scootaloo! I never realized you were a lesbian! Now I take back everything I have done to you in the past!" Diamond Tiara weeped and went up to hug her former victim,

".... That is why you feel bad for me?! WHAT ABOUT MY DAMN LAB TIME?!" Scootaloo frowned and frustrated loudly, she collapsed onto the floor, after all the nervousness given by Diamond Tiara and her downhearted expressions, in the end it was all making Scootaloo feel embarrassed and upset that her work time was wasted: A whole 5 minutes.

Scootaloo then paused, and stared into Diamond Tiara's eyes, she did the same. Scootaloo then put her hands onto her shoulders like what Rainbow did to hers, she smiled and forgivingly said,

"Hey, I know you have been conflicting me and my friends for awhile, and neither of us really liked it the way you have done so. But since you apologized, I don't suppose why can we just all be friends? That way, there will be peace made between all of us, and neither of us will grow hatred onto each other again! Anyone loves harmony right?"

"R-really?" Diamond Tiara asked, "I-I don't have to repay you anything at all?"

"Of course not!" Scootaloo happily shook her head, "It's not like..."

"... Annnnd that's how I got $100 dollars off Diamond Tiara and $50 from Silver Spoon." Scootaloo finished her story as she was in Rarity's car, driving to Broadway Theaters along with Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom.

"Really? Scootaloo, that ain't a pretty good idea to do. You should've just treated them nicely and then they will treat us the same way back." Apple Bloom told her, upset by the fact that her friend still does not know morality.

"Oh please! Not like she and Silver Spoon will get back at us for that! We're officially in good terms now, aren't we?"

"Ugh!" Apple Bloom groaned, "You know what? Sweetie Belle, go teach Scoots a few thin' or two!"

"Uh huh," Sweetie Belle nodded with her eyes closed, "Scootaloo, you really did a bad job back there, what were you thinking?"

Apple Bloom nodded, eyes closed just like Sweetie Belle. Rarity smiled proudly that her sister finally learns her baby steps on how to be a good societal person.

"$150 is totally outrageous, you should've asked for more!"

"Oh my lord..." Apple Bloom groaned louder and facepalmed herself. Rarity facepalmed harder, gritted her teeth, and nearly crashed into other vehicles while she covered her face. Scootaloo facepalmed too, but rather in a desperate way as if she should've listened to Sweetie Belle's words.

"You're totally right! Godammit!" She swung her fist horizontally.

"Sweetie Belle!" Rarity cried, "Why did you just have to say that?" You nearly got us into an accident!"

"Oops, sorry sis!" Sweetie Belle apologized, "But at least we're all safe right? Think positive!"

Smiling that she's still so innocent and ignorant, Rarity forgave her and continued her driving. 'Yes... As long as everyone is still good and well.' She sang quietly in her head as she pushed her smooth, purple hair back.

While behind her car were piles of cars, crashed into one another, blocking the sidewalks, trucks flipped over, dogs looking for freshly leaked gas which shouldn't even be happening. Then, a chicken decided to cross the street, so that it can get to the other side. The only thing funny about that chicken, was that in reality, it was a real chicken, playing as the same looking chicken in Crossy Road on her mini tablet.

"Wow! I have made so much progress already with just a chicken! Yet there still aren't any accidents from the cars in the game!" Pinkie (Chicken) Pie said excitingly and full of herself that she has officially mastered the game, while in reality she was walking across the traffic jammed cars, over them, through the windows, crawling under them, etc.

Back to the protagonist(s), Rarity opened the GPS just to make sure whether they arrived to the theater or not. She tapped...

And tapped...

And tapped...

And tapped...

And accidentally closed it, she let out a scowl and a burning sniff of cannot-take-this-bull-any-longer noise, so she restarted, and after a tedious 5 minute search, she happily announced to the little Crusaders,

"Alright darlings! We're here! This is Storkyrkan Cathedral!"

Crickets out of nowhere chirped, the three kids in the back of the car stared at the mentally disturbed fashion designer confoundedly and awkwardly. Rarity was confused too with their looks, 'Shouldn't they be a little bit more, stupefied?' She thought to herself. Finally she looked outside of the car and gazed; there were enormous skyscrapers, and a huge church in front of them...

Rarity quickly checked the GPS again, and zoomed it out. She pinpointed her map in Stockholm.

"Holy mother of distant... THIS IS! THE! WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!" She shouted, but then embarrassingly turned around and told the disappointed Crusaders, "No need to panic girls, this is just a... Umm... Uhh... Rarity after all!" The three friends sighed and shook their heads.

During the OFFICIAL trip to Broadway Theater, the Crusaders were bored and in vain, as if they want to start a crime and at least get something done unlike someone just failed to do, but then again, that's a bit too excessive, so Sweetie Belle decided to raise up a question from her wonders of her friend Scootaloo instead.

"So Scoots, how did the lab go?"

Scootaloo can no longer hold her temper, every damn time is always about the lab, and everytime the answer always humiliates her. She cracked her knuckles on her right hand and held tightly into a fist on her left. Her eyes were bloody red as she turned around to Sweetie Belle, who does not seem to notice her friend's anger. Because of that, Scootaloo gave up her rage and decided it would be the best just to spill out the beans, because this time she has some good news.

"Well, after getting the money off DT and SS, I continued to work on my lab for about a minute until Blaze Blue came in and told me that my scooter was stolen. I went out to make sure, and it was there, good and alive. Until I came back to see that my 6 minute work was deleted and I had to freakin' start all over!" The other two girls stared at Scootaloo, unimpressed that she is wailing over losing a 6 minute work.

"Then, after I caught up to my 6 minute work, Shining Armor smacked my head and demanded for his lost keys. I told him that I never even touched it, and the laptop cart was already opened before I even stepped into the room. He disbelieved me and called my home, but then right after that he found the keys, RIGHT ON HIS DARN DES-"

"Oh Twilight's brother is such a splendid thing!" Rarity interrupted, "I would really want to put my hands onto him one day!" The Crusaders stared at Rarity again and sighed, not even Sweetie Belle can understand how her sister's disturbed mental mind can go off the road. She let go of her steering wheel and almost ran into another car, the wheels turned left then back to right furiously, but thank goodness no one was hurt. Just another head injury from Scootaloo.

'YOU THINK MY LIFE ISN'T IMPORTANT?!' Scootaloo retained her serenity and continued,

"Anyways, that whole lab took me two hours to finish... Three quarters of it, and I..."

"Let me guess, you got home with your slow bummed scooter and got slapped by your mom again?" Apple Bloom asked confidently, "Twice?"

"Of course, I-... NO WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING?!" Scootaloo blundered, but it was already too late, everyone including Rarity giggled at her for being so damn stupid.

'I'M NOT STUPID! YOU ARE!' Scootaloo yelled out in her mind, but lets just mind her rudeness.

"Phew! At least they wouldn't know about the fact that I can't send it into my Gmail because the network connection is dead until tomorrow..." Scootaloo whispered to herself, only to expect the worst laughter from everyone else on the car. Again.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Apple Bloom suddenly let out this freaky laugh that no one ever even expected from someone like her, it was like this villain who likes to get tangled with this damsel in distress before being knocked out by the one he (in this case a she) stole from, and she really was proud of her new laughter. "Scoo-SCOOTALOO! I-I can't believe... Pff... Pfft... Bahaha! Bahahaha!"

Now it was even more wierd, Apple Bloom transformed into a sheep being onslaught by farmers in New Zealand, and then that sheep was finally caught, and her coat was snipped off piece by piece... Well she is a country gal, what can be done?

Sweetie Belle meanwhile was all over on Scootaloo, making fun of her bad day.

"Scootaloo! You sure are a schooltzer!" She had no idea what she was saying, but it did sound funny and the fact that she failed trying to combine three words into one, including Scootaloo's name it would be four. Scootaloo can only frown in despair, because now the sheep is nibbling on her clothes and face...

"APPLE BLOOM? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Scootaloo screamed loudly as she realized her friend was biting off the material that made her t-shirt, which tasted like pure fabric and soft wool being hugged and kissed all over the surface... "Get your bum looking mouth off my shirt!... AND MY HAIR!" Apple Bloom continued to nibble off her dyed purple hair, which looks plain weird for some punk looking kid like Scootaloo.

'Don't you diss my hair... OR YOU'LL REGRET IT!'

Well, you should regret for saying something like the wifi not allowing you to finish your lab.

'Ugh fine! But how am I supposed to fix what's happening now with Apple Bloom! Or else Diamond Tiara will truly think that I'm a lesbian if anyone tells this to her!'

Not my problem.

'Wha-"

Rarity was busy driving the car, her attention was paid onto driving so much (she just got her liscence last week), that she even missed Scootaloo's dying cries of fear due to the little farm sheep being a cannibal by feeding on the material that sheeps wear- *HUFF HUFF* Okay this is getting too complex, Apple Bloom is basically infected and is now a complete maniac. Sweetie Belle was too busy laughing at Scootaloo for not sending her completed lab work to her Gmail because the network was disconnected, and then there's Pinkie Pie on top of Rarity's car, still disguised as a chicken from Crossy Road. However, once Pinkie Pie lost the game, her gamer face exploded with rage, and she rapidly stomped on Rarity's car. Rarity still did not bother to care about her vehicle's condition and continued struggling with steering out of other cars and people, not minding animals though (oh don't worry about them, they know how to save themselves).

Suddenly, Pinkie Pie realized that this was Rarity's car, so she walked foward, and slid down onto the front of Rarity's car, and formed this complex position that not even acrobatics can perform, while facing to Rarity, in front of the winshield.

"Hi Rarity!"

"EEEEK! A CHICKEN!" Rarity shrieked and turned her steering wheel all over, the car now was out of control, on full speed, burning tires, ramming all other cars in the way. The Crusaders (excluding Apple Bloom) realized that they were in true demise, and could do nothing but scream. Rarity shut them up this time and refocused on how to pull this off, she suddenly let out this smirk that-

"Woah! Check out that chick driving the Ferrari!" A random person called out.

"Look at that smirk on her face! Sooooo badass...!" Another drooled, and was deeply in mad romantic sheeps already, he wanted to lick the wool and suck on it... Okay that's getting a bit off topic but Rarity was too attractive for those losers to stay on their task, because they got so caught up that they didn't realize they were in the middle of a green light road... And one was ran over by a bicyclist, the other by a jogger.

Meanwhile, on Fifth Avenue, Filthy Rich was bargaining with Fancy Pants over some random finicial problem that is so pointless that it only costs them their business.

"Listen Fancy! I need to borrow off some cash from you, so that I can get a good piece of land from you in Hunts Point. Besides! Your money will automatically be guaranteed back!"

"Well, about that, my dear friend from Ponyville." Fancy rubbed his mustache, "If I gave that to you... I don't know where else can I continue my food industry... Also, isn't this an act against the government? You know that food is very important right?" He completely forgot that Filthy Rich is totally being a jerk by taking cash from him then using the same cash to buy something off him, but right now all he is caring is the political, not economical.

"Ah right! Curses!" Filthy Rich spat into the pitful sewers near their sidewalk, now he completely forgot about his initial motives to negotiate with Fancy Pants.

"I do have a good idea though..." Fancy Pants sternly suggested, most of the time not meaning a good idea, but Filthy Rich obeyed to listen like a homeless dog, with his tongue drooling out, only to displease Fancy Pants that he isn't elegant and fancy enough.

"Ooh ooh! Tell meh!" Filthy Rich suddenly got all excited, and went around Fancy Pants in circles like a true mad dog.

"Sigh... If you can stop acting so pricking and behave like a real dog... Then I can tell you." Filthy Rich obeyed, and was still a dog.

"You can get the mayor to help you and support your side... Only if you're injured that is..."

Filthy suddenly stood up and became a grown man, he stared in disbelief, "... How the twenty five cents will the government suddenly listen to my painful appeals just because I'm severly injured?"

"Hmm, I guess you're right." Filthy Rich slouched back down onto the ground, then got up and wiped off the unfilthy dusts off him as Fancy Pants's bulb lighted up again,

"But what if I get injured too? That way, De Blasio can't deny both of us at the same time-"

"Why are you still with this injury garbage?! That definitely isn't going to persuade-"

They stood in silence, listening to the uproaring honks and screams, cars flipped in the air, people ran for their lives, pigeons fed on dropped vomits from the filthy humans (yes, Filthy Rich vomitted too) when they saw other filthy humans vomit. What's coming next to the two upper classmen was the Ferrari Pinkie Pie was on, crashing them both into the air 20 meters high, then came colliding down the ground, kissing it (face flat on the ground of course). The beautiful scent was absolutely marvelous! Both men now are injured, but rather happily and peacefully, even with all the blood and sweat being produced. Filthy Rich licked the ground to taste its quality.

"H-hey Filthy Rich...?" Fancy Pants awkwardly smiled, trying to lend out his hand, but it shook and showed fear because blood won't stop coming out, "Are you c-convinced n-now...?"

"I..." Filthy Rich licked the perfumed ground once more, it was rough, rocky, solid, dirty, dull, but Filthy Rich definitely fitted into the scenario. "The g-ground is d-delicious... I-I'm getting th-the l-land from you for sure, I'm w-with you..." And dropped dead (no he's still alive).

What the two last heard was, something soundly as the Liberty Bell, or the classical music played on a violin, which was Octavia playing on the sidewalk, pretending to be a prostitute at the same time while a garbage truck was right behind her. It was the sound of music, the sound of hope, the sun blinded Fancy Pants's and Filthy Rich's eyes, the radiance was a signal that these sounds were a symbol of a new life to their future...

"BAAHAAA! BAAHAA! BAAHAAHAAHAAHAA!"