Rainy Day Woman

by RattPitt

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 957

Tree Hugger finds a fun plant and tries to open her door.

Tree Hugger finds a fun plant and tries to open her door.

Rated T for drug use and mild language. Contains spoilers for Make New Friends, But Keep Discord. This is also my first attempt at writing a comedy.

Cover art by TheLazypanda1.

Published 2015-05-20 14:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-20 14:40:01 UTC

Reefer Madness

Tree Hugger trotted down the pathway to her house. She had just made it back from the Grand Galloping Gala, which was... eventful, to say the least. It's not everyday she's threatened to be sent to another dimension for all eternity by a likely mentally unstable draconequus with world shifting powers.

She looked around the pathway, taking in the scents of all the trees, bushes, and flowers. There weren't many flowers, though. There were, however, some weird leaves with eight points on them. They had a strange scent. She couldn't really place a hoof on it. Some sort of oily herb. This scent's lingered around her house for maybe a few days.

The smell started to make Tree Hugger's stomach growl. She hadn't had much to eat at the Gala. Tree Hugger was all for experimentation. Plus, this plant had a nice smell to it. Smell and taste are linked senses, so why not? It's probably not poisonous. It's not like she lived on the border of the Everfree Forest, unlike Fluttershy.

Tree Hugger bit the strange plant. Yep. It tasted pretty good. She swallowed it.

"Whoa, dude... Radical." Tree Hugger muttered shortly after swallowing. Her vision started to change. Her depth perception was absolute crap. The door to her house seemed to be a few more lengths away. It also seemed to be slightly discolored, like she was looking through a kaleidoscope. She couldn't see it for herself, but her eyes were starting to go bloodshot. She had the sudden urge to eat more. Her stash of food was in her house. Yet, for some reason, she forgot about all the plants outside. And she probably forgot the fact that she could eat said plants. Don't do drugs, kids.

Tree Hugger stepped forward and wobbled around. She giggled slightly at the narrator's usage of the word wobble. Or maybe because she was higher than Rainbow Dash. Either of them were plausible answers to the question that wasn't asked.

After regaining her balance, she walked forward. Tree Hugger walked right into the wooden door, making a loud 'bonk' noise. "How do I open doors again? Somethin' with a knob." She reared up and set her hooves on the door and tried to push it open.

She started to pound the door. It was more of an attempt, really. The attempt was about as effective as trying to stop a forest fire with a flame thrower. Except this attempt didn't set her house of fire.

"Is the door locked, or something?" She muttered to herself. Usually, hitting the door like that opened it. Of course, she usually isn't high on some sort of mystery plant she found just outside her home.

She headbutted the door. It didn't do much, other than give her a headache. "Maaaaan..."

A sudden idea entered her mind. She started to pound the door. Of course, she was completely oblivious to the fact that one of the plant's side effects was short term memory loss.

She slid her hoof down to the weird, shiny round thing. The thing with the funny name. Knob, or something. Yeah, knob. That's a funny word.

Her hoof hit the knob. It turned and the door finally opened.

"Yeaaaah, man." Tree Hugger pumped a hoof into the air. She flopped onto the floor of her house due to the sudden loss of balance. "What'd I come in here for?"

Her stomach growled again. "Oh yeah. Stomach's makin' the rumblies. Gotta get some flowers. Flower power, woo." She deadpanned the last sentence. Normally, she'd be excited about eating flowers, especially when this hungry.

"Where do I keep the flowers again?" Her stomach growled again. "Oh yeah. Outside."

Tree Hugger, you're an idiot. You keep a stash of flowers inside your house.

She, like always, ignored the narrator. The earth pony walked outside and plucked several of the mysterious plants. She walked back inside.

Tree Hugger ate another leaf. Her mind reset to her state of high.

She could start selling this stuff, she told herself. "I did?" She asked, rudely interrupting the narrator. So the first time she actually acknowledges me, it's because of an interruption.

Yes, you did. Now start selling them. You're going to get a lot of money from it.

"Nah, man. I'm keeping it all to myself, man. It's totally wicked."

Oh, fine. Ruin the narrative process. Now stop interrupting me.

Anyway, Tree Hugger was wondering how she could make this mysterious plant to be even better. She had a fire going on, which she stupidly set before she left for the Gala. She would have been amazed at it, if she wasn't high out of her mind. She also had some paper.

"So, what should I do, Mister Narrator Guy?"

Do I seriously have to repeat myself? Roll up a joint and smoke it.

"Mm hmm. Yeah, sure." She put some of the plant into the paper and rolled it up. Tree Hugger put the edge of it inside the fireplace and started to smoke the makeshift joint.

"Damn.... You've got a good brain thing, Mister Narrator Guy."

Of course I do.

Once the joint was completely burned off, she lit up two more. "I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints..." She attempted to sing, but sounded more like a tone deaf drunk than a certain ska reggae band from the 1990's.

That's starting to smell really good. Can I have some?

"Sure, man. Don't bogart that joint." She hands me one of the rolls.

I light it up and put it in my mouth.

Damn, Tree Hugger. You got into some good stuff. I mean, wow. It's like... Wow. What'd I say about drugs? Ah, whatever. They're okay, man.