My Little Chimera: Swinophobia

Hello, readers, this is Twilight Sparkle. Now, after all that I've been through, I'm surprised I can even remember how to write. But, I do, and I remember the events leading to this.. very clearly. What do I mean by 'this', you ask? Laying in some ruins with blood streaming from my body and my every bone feeling shattered, writing only through the power of my horn and my other.. powers. But, before I give you the full story on my current condition, I want to show you the story of how I got here in the first place. Of course, it all started in Equestria, in Canterlot, with me and my friends attending an audience with Princess Celestia...

We stood in front of Princess Celestia, bowing the front half of our bodies to respect her, but Rarity was kind of squealing a little bit the whole time, probably due to the beauty of the surrounding room.

"Twilight," Celestia began, and I rose to my full height, "I wouldn't normally ask my student to perform a task that any other pony could do, but I need you to investigate a strange source of energy that I believe is connected with recent goings-on in Equestria."

Pinkie Pie, to my right, bounced back onto her hooves as she heard this, hopping up and down, ecstatically asking, "Ooh, ooh! What, what?! Some sort of.. cupcake theft, maybe? Or.. did somepony forget to put away their trash?!"

But Princess Celestia shook her head, smiling slightly. "No, Pinkie Pie, that is not the case today. Something.. rather more troublesome." Celestia said, now frowning and shifting her tone down slightly, forcing us to lean in a bit. "I have heard claims that some sort of cult of ponies that walk on their hind legs is behind many mysterious disappearances lately."

Appearing to be a little unsettled, Applejack, on my left, asked, "What do ya mean, Princess Celestia? Surely there ain't a reason to kidnap anypony, right?" But Princess Celestia seemed to shrug at the question, not knowing the answer herself.

"I don't see any reason for them to, but perhaps there is more than meets the eye with these mysterious marauders. If they even exist at all." Celestia concluded, turning her flank to us. "I have set up a team of other ponies that will join you six, just in case the worst comes to worst." With that, a few ponies stepped out of the shadows in the corner of the regal room. There was Shining Armor - my brother - Big Mac, some brown pegasus in an adventuring suit, and even Ms. Cheerilee. Rainbow Dash, beside Applejack, nearly screamed for some reason, but right now I was too busy trying to think why we needed so many extra people. Was it really that dangerous..?

"Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh!!" Rainbow Dash squealed, interrupting my thoughts, "Daring Do?!" With that, I quickly glanced up and stared at the odd pegasus. Rainbow Dash was right - it looked exactly like Daring Do had been described. Startled, I looked at Princess Celestia, who smiled and shrugged again. This couldn't be.. Daring Do's stories are fiction!... Aren't they? And, if not, why would she come along with us? My mind hurt from thinking about any sort of situation where we'd need the help of a legendary adventurer.

After all salutations and hugs were exchanged, along with Rainbow Dash nearly drooling over Daring Do, we all left immediately. The Princess had given us an extra map, with a location just outside of Ponyville marked with a big red X. The area seemed fine, and smelled the same to me. Along the way, though, I saw a curious creature. It was weird, looking like a pony on its.. hind legs!! Before I warned the others about its existence, I noted the details of its body. It had a pink head that kind of looked like a pig's, a pink suit, and some sort of things on its hooves that were black and shaped oddly. I also noted that the back legs of this pony were straight, instead of bent like they should be. I whispered a warning to the others to stop, but Rainbow Dash had already seen the creature. Probably trying to impress her idol, Rainbow Dash flew at the odd pony with a battle cry, but it ran pretty fast for something on its hind legs!

Ponies in Ponyville stopped their daily business to watch a rainbow pegasus chase an odd type of animal they'd never seen before. Despite Rainbow Dash's speed, she couldn't seem to catch up with the quick creature. Me, my brother, and Rarity all tried to pick it up with magic, but it seemed to resist it somehow. Finally, Daring Do pulled out a whip from a bag she had brought along, and snapped the whip around the thing's legs. With impossible reflexes, its head snapped in the direction of the whip, and in its front hooves was an oddly-shaped item. A whrrr'ing noise was heard, and then a huge, gaping hole was at where the middle of the whip had been. Daring Do raised the handle of the whip to her face with horror and astonishment, and I groaned. The creature was running away! It had raised itself off the ground and galloped away with speed like the Wonderbolts themselves!

We ran after it, following it into a wooded area. I realized, suddenly, that we were heading for the spot on the map. Trotting or flying along as fast as we could, we tried to keep the pink pony in sight at all times while avoiding branches and tree roots. Suddenly, a big, rotted-looking house loomed over us, and we heard a door shut. The weird-looking pony had gone inside! We hesitated a bit, because we knew it could be a trap, but then we remembered the ponies that were mysteriously nowhere to be found and we continued onwards, our large party entering into the broken door one at a time.