contingent

Today was the day the wing bandages came off. Rainbow was looking forward to this day for over a month. Then Twilight had to come in with the bad news. She wasn’t going to be ready to fly right away. But that wasn’t the bad news, no. What was worse was when she was able to fly it was at a time deemed “unsafe” for the foal.

It was stupid! She should be able to fly whenever she wanted. Stupid foal. Stupid Flare. Stupid doctors. Speaking of doctors, one was blabbing at Dash at the moment.

“Your wing is suffering from physical neglect so it will take about another two weeks for you to be able to fly safely. But, regarding your other condition you shouldn’t be flying in two weeks time anyways. So you can count yourself grounded as of now.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” The mare huffed. “This is all stuff Twilight already told me. Can I just go home?”

The doctor rolled his eyes. “Impatient as always. Just remember to stretch and move your wings and by the time you deliver you’ll be good to take flight again.”

“Yeah, uh-huh. Thanks doc.” Rainbow got up and walked out, passing the the annoyed stallion doctor. She hated being told what to do and this foal was causing it to happen a lot.

She trotted her way slowly back the the castle where she was spending all her time. She didn’t like being out in town with people staring at her. She knew they had heard the news by now. It was probably in the papers weeks ago. They didn’t know details of course, but that doesn’t stop them from trying to fill in the blanks.

On her way through the middle of town, a certain Wonderbolt decided to drop in. He landed right next to her and joined her walk.

“Heya, Rainbow!”

“Hey. What’re you doing in town?”

“Had the day off, thought I’d stop by to see how you’re doing. So… How are ya doing?”

She shrugged. “Not too great. I got grounded today. The day my wing is all good is also the day they tell me not to fly until the little booger decides to leave my body.”

“I sense some slight anger towards the baby.” Soarin pointed out with a light humorous tone.

“Yeah well. it’s all it’s fault! I want to fly and I can’t because this demon is living in me.”

“Hey, come on. Don’t hurt his little feelings.”

“It doesn’t have feelings. It’s barely even a thing.”

“Yes he does. He’s got little organs and muscles right about now. And babies pick up on their mother’s emotions and stuff.” Soarin began to direct his attention to her abdomen area. “I’m sure he doesn’t want his mommy to be upset. especially because of him.” He looked back towards his walking companion.

“Do not call me that.”

Soarin realized his mistake quickly. “Right. Sorry.”

“Why’re you calling it a him?”

“Huh? I don’t know. I feel weird calling him an it all the time. So I’m betting on it being a boy.”

“It’s weird. Like you’re addressing an actual - “

“Pony? Dash, that’s what it is. A pony. He’s not some monster like, um, his other genes.”

After a moment of silence, Rainbow spoke up. “I know… I just don’t want it to be an actual person. I don’t know. I just…If I see it as an actual thing I don’t know what would happen.”

"What could happen?"

"I don't know... Caring about it..."

“Being attached to your child is ok. You shouldn’t be afraid of loving it.”

“I don’t want it. It's not staying around."

“Then what are you scared of?”

He had her there. If she was going to get rid of it and didn’t care, then why was she scared of being attached? Why was she attached already? Rainbow found herself talking to it this morning. She asked it if it was up for the doctors today. Like it was going to respond or something. Why couldn’t she just carry it and send it on it’s way?

...

Because it was hers. She was scared of keeping it because of the father.

“I’m… I’m Scared of Flare. Like he’s still going to be there because of the foal.”

“You know that’s not true. He’s in jail. Awaiting trial that by the princesses will end with him behind bars for life already. They just have to go through all that formal law junk.”

“And I know all that.”

Soarin turned to her in a very stern tone. “He is never going to lay another hoof on you. I’ll make sure of that personally. Don’t let that asshole keep you from happiness.”

Rainbow was taken back by his change in attitude. He was real serious and it made her smile a little. It didn’t sneak by the stallion as he returned it.

“I thought about what you said a couple weeks ago. About why I should think about keeping it and I liked the idea. Of keeping it. But I thought that I shouldn’t be feeling that way about it. So I’ve been bitter about it all.”

“Just ask yourself, do you want a foal? This foal?”

Did she? Someone who will always be there and need her. Everyone always say kids are a handful but mostly joy. She could use some of that. A distraction too. Maybe a way to move on from this whole thing? It seemed like a good way to start moving forward. And she wanted to move forward. She wanted her foal.

She stopped while Soarin walked a couple paces forward before realizing and stopped himself. She looked at him in the eye. “Yeah.”

He smiled. “Then there’s your answer.

She chuckled slightly at how stupidly easy that was but was interrupted by her growling stomach. “Sorry. I didn’t really get anything to eat this morning.”

“Well why don’t we fix that? We can go to your friend’s place, the Sugarcube Corner.”

“It has been awhile since I’ve gone out to eat…”

“Then it’s settled! Let’s go!” Before she could say anything he started to trot off. She laughed to herself and followed.

Once in the little bakery, Pinkie greeted them with a smile.

"Hi Soarin! Hey Rainbow Dash! What brings ya in? I usually got to bring your orders to you."

"Todays different I guess." The Pegasus mare answered.

"Do you want your chocolate cupcake with the peppers on it?"

"Ew." Soarin commented.

"Yes please." Rainbow answered, ignoring the stallion.

"What about you?" Pinkie asked him.

Looking at the menu he found on the counter he answered. "Your apple pie shake sounds good for me."

"Oh, they are." The pink mare spoke. "I'll have those right out!"

"Thanks Pinkie." Dash went and sat down with Soarin in tow. "So."

"Hm?"

"I was just wondering why you know baby development. You don't seem like the guy to just know that the foal has muscles and stuff off the top of your head."

"Oh... Well since you told me what you were going through I've been kind of researching foal development and such."

Rainbow was slightly confused. "Why?"

"You've been talking to me about it and I wanted to know how the kid was doing and what the pregnancy in turn does to you. I just wanted to be more understanding because when you started to talk to me I hardly knew anything that was going on. And you've been chatting to me about everything a lot recently so."

The mare smiled. "You're real awesome, you know that?"

"I didn't. My mom's the only one that tells me that so I thought she was just being nice."

Dash chuckled at his answer.

"So when are you going to tell your friends about your new decision?"

"I don't know... How do you think they'll feel about it? What if they think I'm stupid for trying to take this on? Or know I'm going to mess up? Or even -"

"Rainbow stop." He cut her off. "They're not gonna think of you any different. They're going to be there for you."

"You're right. Sorry... I'm not sure how to tell them"

"Tell who what?" Pinkie said while popping up out of nowhere, putting their order on the table.

"Uh..." The Pegasus mare looked to Soarin who gazed down and started on his shake. "I was thinking - or - have been thinking about, uh, stuff."

Pinkie nodded. "Yeah?"

"Um. Stuff about the-the foal. About not giving it up"

"I knew you'd keep it!" She shouted. "This is so exciting! You're gonna have a -"

The party mare was interrupted by a cyan hoof in her mouth. "Shoosh Pinkie! I don't want weird rumors to spread."

Pinkie mumbled into Dash's hoof before she removed it. "What rumors?"

"I don't want ponies to think bad things about me." Rainbow said distraught. "I didn't exactly make what Flare did public and I don't want everyone to think I slept around either."

"That doesn't leave much options there, Dash." Soarin said. "Unless you make your situation public they're going to think the other." Rainbow groaned and planted her head on the table. "You might want to just let Rarity spread the truth like a rumor."

"I don't want everyone to know."

"Then let them think what they want. We all know the truth and that's all that matters. Right Pinkie?"

"Yup!" With that she sped off.

"I guess..."

"Quit being so concerned about what others think of you. Who cares?"

"I do. I'm... Me. Rainbow Dash. I have a reputation and I'm losing it."

"You're still Rainbow Dash to me. In fact, I see you as being even more brave and tougher than before."

She nudged her cupcake. "How? For being careless and getting kidnapped? For being weak and getting raped? For-for being stupid and getting knocked up?"

Slightly frustrated, Soarin answered. "None of that is your fault! No one would've been able to know that their old friend is a psycho. No one would've been able to escape. And No one could've stopped the conception. Stop thinking you're less for going through that but better for making it through. Stronger for still going. For dealing with what his evil has caused."

He looked at her as she was sitting there in self pity. She wiped one of her eyes that was getting dangerously close to leaking her emotions.

"Just." He sighed. "Hey." Rainbow looked at him with sad eyes. "If you don't want to tell anyone, that's fine. But ponies are going to notice and make up explanations in their heads. And that doesn't matter. What matters is you and your foal. Not how it was made, why you're keeping it, None of that."

"You give speeches often?"

"Not these kind, no. Just trying to say what I'm thinking."

"Well, thanks for speaking your mind." She smiled contently.

He returned the smile. "Anytime."

__________________

Rainbow returned back to the castle feeling much happier than when she left. She felt like there was actually a future to look forward to now. Or, someone else's future rather. But she was a huge part of it.

"Hey Rainbow." Twilight caught her in the halls. "You're back late. How'd the doctor go? I got some extra ice cream for ya. Figured you might want it after today."

"I am upset about not being able to fly, but I think I'll live."

Twilight was a little surprised at Dash's calm response. "You're ok? I thought you'd be pretty upset."

"Nah. It's all good. But I'm not saying no to that ice cream. Don't get me wrong."

"What's got you in such a good mood?" The princess asked.

The pegasus shrugged. "Um. I just. I've been thinking and such. About the foal and the future..."

"And? You ok?"

"Y-yeah. I was thinking of keeping it..."

A moment of silence passed before the lavender mare spoke. "Really? I didn't expect that from you."

"I know. I-I'm sorry. It's a stupid choice -"

"I didn't say that. I'll be honest, I didn't think you would keep it considering what happened and your attitude on parenthood. But I'm glad you're having a change of heart." Twilight smiled at her.

"Yeah. I've had some good talks and what Scoots said got to me."

"As long as you're happy and know that this is a forever choice."

Rainbow nodded. "I'm very much aware. I think this kid will be a good way to move forward and boost my mood."

"I'm sure it will be. Did you still want to dive into that ice cream? I also went and found some movies and dug out the projector. I thought you'd need some cheering up when you got home. I was wrong but it doesn't need to go to waste."

"I don't have anything else to do."

The two walked down the halls. "So have you told anyone else?"

Dash shook her head. "Just Pinkie and Soarin."

"The others should probably know too."

"Yeah, I know. This whole thing is still pretty new to me so I'm not really announcing anything."

"I'm sure you'll warm up to it. Deciding to take on the mother role is a beginning."

"Right..."