The lamps of Ponnyville glowed a light yellow as nighttime had descended upon Equestria. Locals were either at home or heading home from being out on the town. The springtime air, which had been warm during the day was now cooling off as the night took it's place in the sky.
"Pfft, n-no, I'm not drunk, you-you're drunk!"
You walk lazily back to your house with a plum-colored mare by your side, bumping up against your right hip as you both try to maintain your balance while dealing with your drunken selves. You try to reason with your employer-turned-special somepony, but she won't have any of it. You expected it, it's just how she is when she's had a couple drinks too many.
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You knew this because when you finally got a job in Ponyville, it was being a bartender at the local tavern. Since you were one previously back on Earth, you managed to sell the owner, Berry Punch, on being able to bring in mixes that were never heard of before in Equestria. She was skeptical at first, assuming that having Equestria's only human working there would drive customers away. Instead you turned out to be a major attraction, with the locals being entertained at how you worked the numerous bottles with your hands, effortlessly pouring in two or three bottles of straight alcohol into a row of waiting ice-filled highball glasses.
In the three months you were working at the tavern, the place had seen more business than in the last year. Berry was ecstatic, and quickly lightened up after her initial questioning of hiring you in the first place. You got to know her well, it was kind of unavoidable since you worked at her tavern six days a week. You learned that her being the owner of the tavern wasn't a coincidence, she really does enjoy her share of alcohol. This was more than relevant when she helped out the local party thrower by having a party hosted at the tavern. Instead of the pink party pony usually wearing the lampshade, it was your boss wearing it while dancing on the center round table.
One month into your initial hiring, she burst into the tavern after having an argument with her now ex-coltfriend, and sat at one of the stools across from where you stood. It was near closing time. You were in the process of drying off some freshly cleaned glasses as the last of today's customers left when she came in. Her sad face told the story, one you had seen many times on Earth: they had broken up, and it did not happen smoothly.
You try to talk to her about it, but before you can get anywhere she asks you for one of those "newfangled human drinks" you know. You try to talk her out of it, as well as mentioning that you'll have to make a tab under her name if she is drinking the tavern’s own product, but the sad face quickly turned to one of intense annoyance with a hint of anger. You reel back, fearing for your job, and proceed to mix in vodka, tequila, rum, gin, triple sec and some sweet and sour. You top it with a splash of the local variant of cola. A Long Island Iced Tea.
Before you can warn her that it's a rather potent mix, she grabs the glass and starts drinking. She finishes in almost the same amount of time it took to make it. Her visage of anger fades, to one almost of sorrow.
"Wow... that was really good. What was it?"
You tell her. She wants another.
"But, make it different, something more.. I dunno, fresh."
You've got the right drink in mind. You remake the last one, but instead of the sweet and sour and cola, you use the Equestrian equivalent of 7-up. A Clean Tea.
She downs it. She liked it a lot more than the previous, and asks for another.
You make it, and Berry takes her time with this one. During it, she tells you the story of how her coltfriend had cheated on her with a pegasus. Apparently he likes his mares fast, and Berry was, unfortunately, too slow for him. This reminded you of the times crying, depressed housewives would come into your bar back on Earth, sad to find out that their rich hubbies were cheating on them with girls half their ages, and drink their sorrows away.
It saddens you to find out that on other planets, even one the likes of Equestria, that the same stuff happens. You feel for her, and tell her of the similar cases he has seen back home. You make a rum and cola, walk around the bar and sit on a stool next to her. You tell her that the best thing to do is move on, forget the lowlife that has hurt you, lied to you, and find someone… well, somepony better.
But she doesn't mind. She is in much happier spirits now, whether or not it's the alcohol doing the work or your words, you are unsure which exactly.
She talks about how she's sorry for giving you a hard time when you first started working for her, how she was blaming it all on you when business would be slow. You accept her apology, understanding that having the only creature in the entire land work with you can be an issue, but luckily it turned out to be the complete opposite.
You take a gulp from your glass and haunch over the bar. You turn towards her on your right, but before you can say anything else, you see her moving towards you, her eyes half laden, her face blushing enough to be seen through her plum coat. You blink, sit up straight and swivel to face her on the stool, but that doesn't deter her approach.
She puts her forelegs on your thighs, props herself up and plants a kiss right on your lips.
A million thoughts fly through your mind, the more glaring ones being "Am I now a zoophile?" "Is this a crime in these here parts?" and "Boy, what if my mother caught me right now…"
You are unsure how long this kiss lasts, but you remember her face when she finally broke away. It was a look of shock, embarrassment, a look saying, "Did I just do that!?" She sits back down, now blushing far more than before and covers her face with her hooves. You remain sitting on your stool, stone cold stunned, not moving a micrometer. You eventually snap out of it to see Berry Punch leaning on the bar, sobbing from embarrassment. She is muttering things to herself.
"Stupid... stupid! What were you thinking? Kissing him... he works for you for Celestia's sake! What were you..."
You stand up from the stool, get behind her and hug her. You tell her it's alright, that she's been through a lot.
Meanwhile, that nagging thought in the back of your mind calling you an "animal kissing pervert" is trying to be extinguished by the fact that these creatures are not only sentient, but downright human in their own right.
You shake off all of those thoughts. Right now, you had someone to comfort in a time of uncertainty. It didn't matter if they weren't human, you knew these ponies had feelings just like any human back on Earth.
Berry Punch turns on the stool and faces you. She apologizes, saying that she was getting far too ahead of herself. You said you understood, and didn't have a problem with it to tell the truth. You explain that if she really wanted to, you both can make it mean more than just a kiss. Make it an actual relationship if she wanted.
Her face, originally downtrodden and embarrassed, slowly started to change to one of happiness.
"You... you really mean that?"
You nod. Tears in her eyes, she leaps from the stool into your arms. You grab her, and hold onto her as she nuzzles your neck. You return the gesture by stroking her mulberry mane and looking up towards the tavern ceiling. It’s a whole new ballgame.
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Those memories seem so distant, even though they were just two months ago. You silently scold yourself, because you have more important matters to attend to at the moment. Sure, they only amounted to finding your house keys while maintaining your balance, but as wasted as you are, this is like driving a car in the Indy 500 with only two wheels.
Berry Punch wasn't help any either, she was blasted off her hooves after drinking the fifth bottle of wine all by herself. She kept bumping into you as you searched your pockets, giggling all the way.
"S-s-see! I-I t-told you you were drunk! C-can't even find your keys~"
You two had just come from a new restaurant that opened in Ponyville. A brand new stir-fry type of place that prided themselves on all sorts of sautéed vegetables. Cauliflower, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, peas, corn, celery, artichokes, asparagus, carrots... you name it.
Finally discovering your keys, both yourself and Berry stumble into your house. Berry manages towards the bedroom while you struggled with your jacket. You feel the gas building up inside yourself from the meal. You can only imagine what Berry feels like, she had just as much as you did tonight, and she is the smaller mare.
You stumble into the bedroom, kicking off your shoes. Looking up, you discover Berry on the bed, laying on her back, eyes half laden, with her forelegs rubbing up and down her stomach. As you approach her, you can see a faint smile forming on her lips. You lay down next to her, and place your right hand on her puffy tummy.
You help her with her rubbing. She murmurs something soft to you, but it is unintelligible. You let her facial expressions do the talking. She looks like she's in heaven right now. You lightly knead her stomach, not unlike how a baker kneads dough. She moans, spacing each one out with a mild gasp of pleasure.
You then switch to a more gentle rubbing, massaging her tummy. You can actually feel it becoming more taught under your grasp. You can sympathize right now. Not only are you gassy, your nether-regions have become increasingly tight as well. You continue to rub her tummy, until she takes your hand with her hoof, and starts pulling it further down her body until it reaches...
You didn't expect this. Your relationship with her had been platonic up until now. You both had strong urges, but had decided that until the moment is right, to keep off of doing anything... experimental.
The moment was as right as ever.
You begin fingering her, her mound already wet, only getting wetter. Her gentle moans and gasps from the belly rubs were now much stronger and louder. She grabs a pillow and proceeds to chomp on it like a bit to keep herself from waking any of the neighbors. You continue your handiwork, slowly increasing your pace. Berry is beginning to wet the comforter from her emitted juices. You extract your pinkie finger and prep your hand for the infamous shocker.
You slowly plunge your two primary fingers into her soaking cooch, and begin working them around the rim. You then take your pinkie, and slide it into her other inviting hole.
Berry chomps down on the pillow so hard, feathers begin to pour out of it. The pillow now useless, she throws it off of the bed and begins moaning and gasping at an almost alarming volume. The bottom of the comforter is now soaked with her juices. You look up and down her body, she is almost beet red in the face with heat and her tummy is still ballooned out with gas.
You continue to work her region a little more, before you hear something.
*Hic*
You look up at her face. It is a look of absolute euphoria. Eyes gently closed, blushing brightly, her mouth hanging slightly open.
*Hic*
She is hiccuping from the immense amount of gas in her system.
*Hic*
You remove your wayward hand from her crotch and wipe it clean.
"*Hic* Wait... what are *hic* you... *hic*"
You take your right hand and resume rubbing her bloated belly. You take your left to do what the right had just been doing. You kick off your pants and boxers, freeing your raging hard on from the confines of your pants while continuing to knead her ballooning belly.
"*Hic* oh *hic* don't stop, *hic* please don't stop... *urp*"
The slight burp was all you needed to continue working on her blimped midsection. You lean up to her face and begin slowly peppering her with kisses. She returns them, hiccupping along the way. The feeling is almost electric as her bloated belly met your own. You're now gently laying atop her, massaging her belly with your right while your left has abandoned it's post to reach under her back to cradle her. In one swift, smooth motion, she is now on top as you insert your throbbing member into her soaking mound.
Berry Punch almost screams but manages to catch herself as you begin to gyrate inside her. You are still massaging her now almost alarmingly massive belly while you continue to kiss her neck and caress her head. She continues her moaning as your pumping gets harder and faster.
“Oh… *hic* oh *hic* keep going…”
You begin to feel the pressure build to a breaking point. You feel like you’re about to explode, but you try your damndest to not cum before-
“Oh Celestia- oh owaaha aaAAHH!”
Berry flails back onto the bed, then bouncing up to put her for legs around your neck. She leans in to kiss you. Her contact with your lips is what sends you over the deep end, as you release your seed into her in a blinding explosion of orgasm.
Lights seemingly streak across your vision as you come down from the euphoric high. You grab Berry and hoist her up to a kneeling position in a tight hug as you both gear down from your act of lovemaking. Your head is above hers as she has her head nestled in your chest.
As the last strums of pleasure wash away, you both collapse onto the bed, not saying a word.
For several minutes, the silence carries as you give her tummy a slow, light rub. It is as tight as a drum, but you continue to rub it until you hear a distant gurgling..
“… *urp*”
Berry’s face scrunches up, then…
*BUUUURP*
Her belly, once as large as one of Pinkie Pie‘s balloons, deflates immensely. A look of immense relief appears on Berry Punch’s face as seemingly all the pressure in the world is lifted from her midsection. You take a gander at her belly, it still shows signs of lingering gas, but nowhere near as much as before. She smiles and blushes.
"... Sorry."
It’s no big deal, you say. You edge over to her and hug her. She returns it, and you plant a small kiss on her cheek.
You then reach down to her puffy midsection to finish off what you started.
