Past eventually comes back...
*RIIIING*
“Alright, alright! I’m coming!” Poppy exclaimed, getting out of the kitchen and rushing over to the vibrating telephone standing on the small table in the hallway.
Trying, somewhat clumsily, to pick up the vibrating phone with her hooves Poppy finally pressed the green call-button and answered the phone.
“Poppy Flower, how can I help you?”
“Aunt! It’s me, Lily! Something is wrong with mom...help me!” A young filly’s voice answered on the other end, sounding somewhat desperate.
Poppy’s eyes widened and she quickly looked around for pen and paper, in case she needed to write down anything of what her niece had to say, sitting down on the chair next to the table with it.
“Lily! What happened? Is Autumn in danger? Should I try and get there as soon as i can?” Poppy said, trying to suppress her own growing anxiety and fear for the sake of the eight-year old foal on the other end.
“I-I don’t know! Mom came home sad, and she won’t stop crying in her room...I watched her from the door, but she noticed me and closed it...please auntie, I-I’m scared!” The little filly said, her voice thin and shaky.
Poppy sighed. She could only imagine a few possible scenarios which would cause such a violent reaction from her sister, none of which would be easy to explain to said sister’s eight year old daughter.
“Okay Lily, are you sure mom’s not just a bit exhausted from work? I heard she’s been working a lot lately?” Poppy suggested, hoping eternally that Lily would buy the lie.
“N-no...it must be something else! Mommy never cry like this...ever! You know that!” The little filly exclaimed, suddenly angered by her aunt seemingly not taking the problem seriously.
Poppy once more sight. She had to explain what was going on, but she weren’t even sure she knew what was going on, and no matter how much she wished she could be there with her little niece, she could not just get up and leave, and even if she did, I’d take her several hours to get there.
“Look, Lily, I know this is scary, but you just have to give Autumn some time and…”
“Sorry Auntie, someone’s knocking on the door, I have to go and open. You know, since mom won’t...”
“No! Lily, wait…”
*CLICK*
Poppy removed the phone from her ear, slowly lowering her hoof and letting the phone fall down on the floor.
While she couldn’t safely say who ever had been knocking on the phone would have a negative impact on the current situation over there, it was risking making things even more complicated and confusing for her poor little niece...to be fair, Poppy was also worrying for her sister. Autumn had barely had any romance life at all for the last eight years, the scars of the divorce she went through back then causing her to fear any future romance..
“Crap.” Poppy said, too confused, anxious and tired after the short but intense conversation with her niece to say anything else.
Apollo drove his hoof through his mane one last time, waiting for somepony to open the front door on which he had knocked mere seconds earlier...That was, if anypony would open the door at all.
In all honesty, Apollo was more or less prepared for the door to never open and him end up standing there on the stairs looking like an idiot, seeing as his ex-wife had first looked like she was about to throw up, then cry her eyes out, before finally running off, when they a couple of hours earlier had met for the first time in eight years. By accident.
He sighed. All he had wanted to do when he met her, was tell her he was sorry, for how it all ended and for how much he'd hurt her. Then, he wanted to ask, if they could keep contact, at least a short letter once or twice a year. But most of all, he had wanted to ask if he could meet her. Oh yes, he would give anything to meet her. And earlier today, he had gotten the chance, but of course he didn't take it. Instead, he had screwed up everything!
Apollo closed his eyes, trying to keep back the tears. Back then, he never knew how much it hurt one’s soul to have a daughter out there somewhere, who you knew grew every year, who you knew was going to be a beautiful mare one day, but who you also knew would do it without her father, without you. If he as his past self had known the heart crushing feeling this caused, then he would have done whatever Autumn desired to keep together, to keep Lily by his sight.
“Excuse me mister? Are you looking for someone?”
Apollo blinked, looking forward and seeing that the door in front of him had opened and he could now see into a sparsely furnitured hallway. However, he still couldn't see anypony anywhere, which for him was just plain confusing and weird.
“Mister? Down here!” The bodiless voice exclaimed.
Hearing somepony addressing him again, Apollo looked down and noticed that standing right infront of him was a small grey filly, with a curly brown mane and, most apparent, one blue and one brown eye. Apollo had no words to answer the filly, as the sight of those two differently coloured eyes made his head spin. The Sapphire on the left was from his, and the brown nut on the right Autumn's. This was, in fact, his daughter. Of course, he had no evidence to prove it, but he knew it, deep inside, in his heart.
“You okay mister? Can I help you?” Lily said, looking up at the stallion, concerned of his seemingly frozen figure towering over her, eyes fixed right at her in an almost creepy feeling way.
Apollo blinked, suddenly realising he had lost himself in his own thoughts.
“Yes,um, I’m looking for Autumn Butterfly, which is...your mom? I suppose?” Apollo said, facehoofing internally.
Lily blinked, looking behind her and frowning.
“I-I’m sorry...mom is not really available. Could you come back later?” She said, looking slightly concerned.
Apollo sighed, bending down to Lily’s hight, looking her in the eyes and smiling.
“Look, I know why your mom is sad, and I can fix, which you want, right?” Apollo said, getting an approving nod from Lily before continuing. “Exactly. And since I heard you’ve been such a good girl, I brought you a little something."
From his saddlebags, Apollo brought forth a package of white chocolate chip cookies which he then extended to Lily, who took it in her tiny hoof, her eyes wide in amazement at the gift.
Apollo watched with amusement as the little filly inspected the package shape and size, even carefully shaking it to make sure she wasn't being tricked. When she was convinced it was real, she let out a squee of happiness.
"My cookies!" Lily exclaimed, running off into one of the many rooms of each side of the hallway, leaving Apollo to do as he wish, no longer caring about anything but her delicious cookies.
"Cookies, always work like a charm." Apollo chuckled as Lily darted away, right there and then feeling nothing but happiness and pride. Because at that moment, he experienced a snippet of what could have been, got to feel how it could have felt if he and Autumn never separated.
Looking around him, he realised he had no idea where to go. He wanted to find Autumn, to talk to her, but he didn't even knew where she was, and asking Lily about it wasn't really an option, already haven't forgotten through which of the many doors that she had disappeared.
Not seeing any other option, Apollo slowly started to stroll down the hallway through the house. It didn't take long before Apollo started to see a pattern in the paintings covering all the doors, a sort of subtle indication of what was to be expected on the other side: a green garden filled with clothes being laid out to dry in the sun indicated a laundry room, a lake with white, pink and yellow water Lilies blooming on it's surface covering the door to Water Lily's room, and so on.
These paintings covering virtually all empty surfaces, even the floor in some places, had somehow all been given a purpose or a theme by it’s creator. And it was their creator that made the sight of them feeling so special to Apollo. Many of the motives where things that he could figure out why she painted, but hadn’t seen her paint before. However, there was a few he had seen a thousand times before, that also used to cover the walls of the apartment he and Autumn once shared, and he still didn't understand the meaning of.
After walking down all of the long hallway, the only way left was seemingly a orange painted wall, Apollo was just about to turn around and go back when he noticed the hallway continuing to the left. Taking off down to the left, he made his way through a narrow passage that only was a few hundred meters long and ended with a single, massive oak door.
The hole area of the heavy door was covered in a giant painting of a field filled with blooming poppy flowers whose intense red colour almost glowed in the paint. Above the amazingly precise and detailed painted field was a carefree blue heaven with small, fluffy pieces of cloud drifting across it and three orange butterflies dancing in front of them, glowing as intense as the flowers and seemingly lighting up the shadowy hallway.
Apollo immediately knew he had come to the right place. The motive on the door was all too familiar to Apollo, the orange butterflies representing Autumn's cutiemark, and the poppy flowers her twin sister, Poppy Flower, and her mark.
Hesitating slightly, Apollo opened the door, sneaking into the room and carefully closing it behind him, making sure not make a sound. However, when he turned forward and faced the room inside the beautifully painted door, it was harder to keep quiet.
The room was nothing like he would have expected from the somewhat dark and lifeless corridor from which he came, but was better represented by the colorful painting on the door.
The walls of the room was covered in the same motive as the door, and even though the skies had been filled with more beautiful butterflies, there was still only three orange butterflies, hovering just above the cozy-looking bed.
However, what really made Apollo want to scream yet stunned him at the same time, was the almost transparent looking mare sitting on the soft blue quilt covering the bed, continuing and stretching down like soft, peaceful waves on to the floor. The mare, a pegasus, sat curled into a small ball, with one hoof pressing her legs against her chest and the other stretched out into the air, forbidden to move as a small orange butterfly balanced upon it.
Without knowing if Autumn knew he was there or not, Apollo slowly sat down on the floor, leaning against the door behind him and slowly taking in all the details in the scene before him, pondering how familiare it all felt to him, sitting there by the door and watching Autumn's seemingly frozen stature on the bed, the lifeless eyes solely focused on the small butterfly.
Back in the days when Apollo and Autumn had been a couple, there were always rainy afternoons when Autumn would just 'disappear' from the world. She'd hide in her room and refuse to do anything at all. Eventually, Apollo would always come around, entering the room and sitting down by the door, waiting. Sometimes it'd take 30 minutes, sometimes three or four hours, but eventually Autumn would come back to life, and they'd move on with there life from there. Apollo never questioned why it would happen, or why there would always be raindrops on the windows during those afternoons. He just accepted it for what it was.
Without any real reason behind it, Apollo lifted his head and slowly looked at the window. Sure enough, there were small drops of cold rainwater slowly trickling down the glass on the outside, just as it would always be during those afternoons in the past. For the second time that day, Apollo experienced the feeling of something that could've been, of something he could have had, if he would've stayed with Autumn, and if she would've stayed with him.
From the moment Apollo saw the drops of water on the window, it weren't long before the feeling disappeared, the seemingly vacuum-like state the room had been in breaking, letting the ponies and the single butterfly it had kept as prisoners free.
The little orange butterfly lifted from Autumn's hoof, flying out through the just slightly opened window as Autumn rose from the bed, walking over to the same window and closing the crack she earlier left open to get in some fresh air.
After closing the window, Autumn slowly leaned her head against it, surprising Apollo completely by speaking up, showing she had knew of his presences in the room all along.
“They passed me by...all of those great romances. Just because of you, robbing me of my rightful chances! You ruined it all for me...I’ll never what I could’ve had, if not for you. If not for letting myself be fooled by an equally big fool.” Autumn stated blantly, still not facing Apollo, the accusation in her voice undeniable.
Apollo felt his face heating, a red coloured shading his skin and unluckily showing through his light, white fur. With the added embarrassment of blushing at her words, Apollo was at loss of words to use himself, resulting only in a tense silence spreading out and filling up the space between them, driving them further apart.
“Hehe...always the same passive idiot...that’s the Apollo I know, alright.” Autumn chuckled, now mocking instead of accusing her ex-husband.
Apollo felt his face once more heating, but this time he felt a fury rising inside of him instead of the normal feelings of shame and regret he’d feel over other ponies mockery of his sensitive nature.
Rising from the floor, he tapped his hoof in the floor repeatedly until Autumn turned around and he could catch her gaze with his and force her to keep looking him in the eyes.
“I didn’t destroy it all. You keep blaming me, but it was you and your hurtful words chasing me out in the rain that night. I thought we had our picture clear, and it all seemed so easy...but then you dropped the bomb and told me one of us had to go. It was your fault!”
Apollo watched as the hard, brutally honest words carved themselves deeper and deeper into Autumn's mind as she slowly cracked altogether, tears filling her eyes and a sudden hopeless sadness swept through the room, covering her features in it’s gray tones.
“I-I’m sorry...I just wanted safety for Lily. It’s all that ever mattered to me, I swear!” She whispered, the pain he inflicted upon her filling every word as she continued. "These last eight years...they've been hard for me, especially the beginning. I was hopeless, but still I was forced to make my way through the darkness, always guided by a beating heart. Lily’s heart. I had no idea where the journey would or will end, but I knew it had only just started back then.”
As Autumn finished her story, she slowly sank down on the bed behind her, burying her face in her hooves. Apollo could feel guilt and regret filling his mind as quiet sobs escaped Autumn’s hurted figure, her body shaking with each sound.
The mare, which Apollo now had in front of him, wasn't the one he'd been talking to moments earlier. This wasn't the condescending, snorky ex-wife he'd been yelling at...no, this was sensitive and fragile mare, much like the one he originally fell in love with, but with the added experience of trotting through hell and back again for her foal, and whose only wronging had been trying to appear strong and independant.
"Autumn...it's okay. We...we have both been hurt, lots, and we want somepony to blame." Apollo stated, sitting down on the bed next to Autumn. "But this...screaming and accusing each other...it does not help anypony. Not me, not you, not anypony. So please, can we agree to just...just stop?"
As he finished, Autumn let out a series of curious sounds Apollo couldn’t quite identify as they was muffled by Autumn’s hooves which was still covering her face. However, as the sounds slowly grew louder, Apollo realised she was laughing! Feelings of anger and annoyance poured into his mind, clouding his judgement as he thought she was once more taunting him.
Apollo started preparing a snorky, hurtful comment in his mind, what he said earlier already forgotten, when his mind suddenly froze, having noticed something different about the way she quietly laughed, the deceiving creator of these sounds hidden behind her tender hooves. But, as Apollo realised, she wasn’t mocking him. Autumn’s laughter was directed to herself, filled with unidentifiable emotions.
“It’s funny how the time flies...only yesterday was the time of our lives. We were born and raised in a summer haze, bound by these surprise of our glory days...and now it’s been over for eight years. Eight years!” Autumn exclaimed, removing her hooves from her face so Apollo could see the bittersweet smile resting on her lips.
“Yes...time have really moved fast for the two of us.” Apollo agreed, laughing along with Autumn. “And now that we’re past the emotional part, I should probably apologise, no?”
Autumn stopped laughing, looking over at her ex-husband in confusion.
“Apologise? For what? You’ve done nothing wrong…”
“I mean, for coming here, and for walking up to you in the street earlier today. I hated to turn up out of the blue uninvited, especially after you ran away, but i couldn’t stay away, I just couldn’t fight it.”
Autumn nodded, looking over at her door. Beside the flower field and the flawless blue summer sky covering the walls of the rest of the room as well, there was an old oak tree growing proud and strong in the center of the picture, the symbol of a beautifully designed lyra and a music note carved into it.
Looking down at his flank just to make sure, Apollo knew it was his cutiemark that had been carved into the beautiful tree painted on the door. As he realised this, thousand thoughts started to spin in Apollo’s head, until finally one thought managed to get it self in front of the others, pushing them back and attracting Apollo’s full focus.
Autumn still care about you, Apollo. Somehow, in some twisted way, you still got something in her.
“You still care for me. I don’t know how, but you do. Otherwise you wouldn’t have painted the engraving of my cutiemark in the oak tree.” Apollo stated bluntly, the sentence and it’s meaning escaping his mouth before he had time to think it through properly.
Still not looking away from the door, Autumn suddenly frowned, her eyes slowly starting to water once more.
“Of course I do, Apollo. You’re the father of my daughter, my first and only real love. It is facts I can never escape, no matter how hard I try.” Autumn stated, smiling once more while the tears kept rolling down her chins, eventually dropping off her chins and landing in a small puddle on the bedsheet between her legs.
Autumn's openness in combination with her blunt confession was starting to have an effect on Apollo, who slowly started to feel braver, finally deciding that it was time for him to ask perhaps the most important question he’d ever ask anypony.
“Can I see Lily? Spend time with her, I mean.” Apollo said, taking a deep breath before continuing. “ I...I want to learn to know her. I want to learn to know my daughter.”
For the first time in what felt like an eternity, Autumn turned away from the door, looking deep into Apollos eyes and extending her wings, wrapping them around him in a tight hug.
“Oh sweetheart...of course you can! Both you and Lily deserve it, especially seeing as I’ve been such a fool these last eight years.”
“Thank you, Autumn...and you’re no fool. These eight years have been a good experience, teaching us many things we can use for the future.” Apollo said, breaking the hug and standing up beside the bed.
Autumn stood up beside the bed, she too, and was just about to say something when both their stomach at the same time let hear of a loud rouble.
“Well, um, there is still a lot to figure out, but how about I offer you some dinner first? We’re obviously both hungry, and Lily must be starving!” Autumn said, her eyes widening as she remembered Lily. “Oh no! I forgot about Lily! The poor thing...she must be terrified! How could I do this to her!?”
Apollo was almost intrigued by the way Autumn’s demeanor changed in a blink of an eye, as soon as she found something to worry about, but decided to ignore it, knowing the problem would soon be gone. Chuckling, Apollo instead opened the door and offered Autumn to go first.
“Oh, I think she’ll be okay. I gave her a packet of cookies before coming to you.”
Autumn arched her eyebrow, looking at Apollo suspiciously, before walking out the open door, the small hallway not big enough for them to walk beside each other.
As Apollo and Autumn carefully opened the door to Lily’s room, which was covered in a painting of a lake which surface was covered in blooming water lily’s, they were greeted by the sound of a slow, romantic serenade sung by a young mare.
Lily was sitting on the floor in front of an old LP player which Autumn recognised having hidden in Lily’s closest years earlier, bobbing her head to the music.
“Lily? Sweetheart, I got something to tell you.” Autumn said, hiring her voice slightly to make sure she was heard despite the music playing.
Turning around, Lily saw her mother and the stallion who had given her the package of cookies earlier standing in the doorway.
Quickly getting up on her hooves, Lily grabbed the opened cookie package beside her and rushed over to the two adults, somewhat shyly giving the stallion beside her mother the package.
Apollo took the cookie package, somewhat confused by the point of this gesture, looking inside and feeding it to be completely empty beside one single cookie laying at the bottom.
“Is it for me?” He asked, looking at Lily, who nodded, looking somewhat guilty.
“I dropped it. Mom say I can’t ate things I dropped.” She explained, smiling innocently.
Autumn watched the conversation between the two, planning her next move carefully, as she knew it was important to be able to do it just right.
“Lily, could you come here?” Autumn asked, walking over to the corner of the room, a slightly worried-looking Lily quickly following right behind, leaving Apollo standing in the door with the cookie package.
“Lily, remember how I told you you daddy went away?” Autumn whispered, wrapping her wing around Lily’s small, fragile body. Despite being eight years old, Lily was very little and fragile and Autumn often worried that Lily might get problems when she got older because of it.
“Yes. Why do you ask mommy?” Lily said, looking up at her mother with her blue and brown eyes, one reflecting her youthful, innocent outside, and the other her deep, well-established and comprehending inside.
“Lily, daddy is back. The stallion over there is named Apollo and he is your father.” Autumn said slowly, kneeling beside Lily and pointing at Apollo.
Lily stood there one, two, three seconds, trying to comprehend her mother's words, taking in the vastness of the situation unraveling before her eight year old eyes.
As Lily stood there, processing the information, her parents holding their breath and waiting for her reaction, a new song started playing, it’s words filling the room. Somehow, these words fitted perfectly into the situation at hoof, tension, fright and a bit of happy anticipation filling the air around the three ponies, the song strengthing and wording these feelings.
Breaking the tension and seemingly putting the whole world back into motion, Lily leaped forward, running across the room as fast as her tiny body would allow her, throwing herself at the stallion who she knew was her father.
“DADDY!” Lily exclaimed, for the first time voicing words she had waiting in her mind for as long as she could remember.
Falling down on his back in the hallway outside, Apollo catched Lily in heartwarming embrace, pressing her to his chest, smiling heartily.
At the same time as Lily and Apollo for the first time both of them would and could remember got to hug each other, the chorus of the song started playing in Lily’s room.
As the chorus played again, Autumn suddenly remembered where she had heard the song before and laughed. The song, which was about a mare who loved a stallion but was afraid to fall if she'd chance on him , was named Thousand years and used to be her and Apollo’s song! It had been the first song played at the first party they went to together and they agreed it would be the perfect theme for them. But now it wasn’t their song anymore, no, it had with time become become Lily and Apollo’s song... And Autumn liked it. Where she and Apollo where going with their relationship, there should not be any themesongs representing them, at leat the way she thought about it, and she hoped that Apollo would be fine with that.
“Mom?”
Blinking, Autumn where pulled out of her train of thoughts as she felt somepony yanking at her leg. As she looked down at said leg, she saw that Lily was looking up at her with a mix of what Autumn normally would clal shame and regret on Lily’s part. kneeign down beside Lily, Autumn started stroking Lily’s hair with her wing to make her feel happy and relaxed.
“Yes Sweetie? What did you want sayto mommy?” Autumn asked her daughter.
Lily smiled and giggled as her mom stroke her hair with he wing just the way she liked it.
“You should really call Autumn Poppy. i called her earlier when you were in your room. she’s probably worried sick.” Lily said innocently, not really worrying anymore as her mom storke her hair.
Author's Note
Edited by wacuire
