Rebirth

"You know, Rainbow, I've never really been much of a dater. If there are more dates like this for me in the future, I mean without a pony almost dying, I'd love to go on more with you."

"There's more where that came from." Rainbow punches me in the shoulder. "I don't think there's gonna be many more Wonderbolt shows for a while. Camping's an option, like I said."

"I can go camping with you. Any place in mind?"

She nods. "Yep. I've been to a nice place by Everfree on a beach. It's just a river. It's kinda hard to find oceans in the middle of the continent."

"I can be by a river. I've spent nearly all of my life by the ocean. A change of pace is always nice."

"Alright, cool. Let's go the day after tomorrow. That's my only free day for a week."

"I can do that. Stop by my place when you're ready. You know where I live, right?" She nods.

Rainbow Dash and I head our separate ways. She flies off to wherever. I'm stuck to walking. Having wings must be cool. I don't think there's any ways for a human to get wings, though. Would somepony be able to help me out with that? Maybe one of the three Princesses. I feel like Twilight would be the one to ask.

I push the thought from my mind and save it for later. I recall Rainbow saying Applejack needed help with her barn. That would be a good distraction. It could also be an excuse to talk to Applejack and her family again.

Although, I did promise to say hi to Hammer again. I'm a man of my word, and I never promised to meet up with the Apple family. I will after I talk to Hammer.

The walk to Ponyville's center market isn't that long. A few ponies say hi to me on the way. It's good that they're getting used to me rather than driving me off into the Everfree Forest with pitchforks and torches. I've never really wanted to be Frankenstein's Monster before and I don't plan on it.

"Hey, Mark." Hammer says once I arrive at her stall. Nopony's buying from her. Now that I think about it, I'm the only one that bought anything from this stall. "Feeling better?"

I shrug. "The hand's about the same as it was. I also went on a date."

She chuckles. "Congrats, Mark. Ponies are starting to realize you're not an asshole. Who's the lucky mare?"

"Rainbow Dash."

"I don't know who that is." She rubs the back of her neck. "Actually, I don't really know many ponies here. I don't even know why I asked. Eh. If she's a friend of yours, she's a friend of mine."

I look up. As if fate wanted it to happen, I see Rainbow Dash in the sky. I call to her. She lands next to us. "Hey, Mark. I don't have much time to talk."

"I just thought I'd introduce you to a friend, Hammersmith Apollo." I say, gesturing to Hammer. The two tap hooves.

"I take it you're Rainbow Dash?" Hammer asks.

Rainbow nods. "Yep. Fastest flier in Ponyville and soon to be in all of Equestria!" She unfolds her wings.

Hammer smiles and blows some hair out of her eyes. "I'll have to see it to believe it. Show me some time."

"I will. I've gotta get back to work. Talk to you two later." She flies off.

Hammer looks at me. "I think you're the lucky stallion."

"Thanks, Hammer." I tell her.

"Seriously, you're lucky. She was sexy. I'd fuck her."

I blink. Hammer's into mares? I didn't expect that. "You're bisexual?"

She shakes her head. "Nah. Lesbian."

I almost thought she was coming onto me, too. If I had a bit for every time that's happened to me... "You're incredibly open about this." I rub my chin.

"It's not illegal."

"Good. I like Equestria better every day." Hammer laughs. "Sorry to disappoint you, Hammer, but Rainbow's not really into mares."

She looks down at the wood. "The sexiest ones never are."

"If I find any lesbians on my travels, I'll let you know."

Hammer looks back up. "You met Celestia, right?" I think she's trying to change the subject. I wouldn't blame her.

"Yep. Why?"

"Is she into mares?"

I wasn't even close to being right about the subject change. "I don't even know if Fluttershy's into mares and I lived with her for a few days. Why'd you ask?"

"I know I'm never gonna be able to fuck the Princess. I need to keep my hopes up. If she is, I'd let you watch us, maybe." She winks at me. She forces back laughter.

"What the fuck, Hammer."

"Are you not familiar with what lesbians do?"

"I used to live with one. Yeah, I'm familiar." I clap my hands together to signal my changing of the subject. "Well, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna help out Applejack with raising her barn."

"Need a hammer to help?"

"Yeah, probably." I know I already bought one from her. I just don't remember where I put it. I'll probably find it once I get back home. "Thirteen bits, right?" Hammer nods. I pay for it and leave with a fresh claw hammer. I don't have any special place to put it, so it gets a spot in my front pocket.

By the time I make it to Sweet Apple Acres, I already have a bruise on my thigh. I didn't think that through. "Hey, Applejack." I say to the orange mare, who's standing next to a tree, once she's in sight.

"Hiya, Mark." She says. She bucks the tree. All of the apples in it fall into buckets. Flying's one thing. Magic's another. Being able to accurately predict where apples will land is simple, but awesome. "Are ya here to help the family with the barn?"

"Yep." I take the hammer out of my pocket.

"Yer probably not gonna need that." I sigh. I bruised my leg and gave away thirteen bits for nothing. Eh. At least I've replaced my hammer. "We've never used hammers an' nails before."

"Which probably explains why your barn collapsed again." I put emphasis on that last word. "I'm using the hammer."

Applejack flinches slightly, almost like I just punched her. "We're more of a family that follows tradition." She says once she recovers. "It keeps us kinda stable."

"Like a fiddler on the roof?"

"Yeah, kinda like that." For once, a pony doesn't question one of my references. "That's a kinda weird analogy."

Dammit, Applejack. You shot me down when I was just taking off. "So, can you point me to your barn?"

"Yah've seen it already. Shouldn't ya know where it's at?"

"I barely know the layout of my own house."

Applejack's only response is a stare. "Maybe Ah should get somepony else tah help out." The slight smile on her face tells me she's joking. Oh, insult based humor... I can play this game, too, Applejack.

"Says the one that doesn't even use nails. It's basic carpentry."

"Ah don't need any nails."

I don't know if that's confidence or absolute idiocy. "Whatever. I'm still going to use them."

"Where are yah gonna find 'em?"

"I didn't think about that." I could go back to Hammer's stall and grab some nails. I don't know if she has any, though. Plus, I'm already at Sweet Apple Acres. "Eh, I guess I'll just go without them, then."

"That's more like it." Applejack says with a mix of enthusiasm and victory. "Could yah follow me to the farmhouse? We'll talk 'bout what we'll do for the barn."

I follow her. Inside the farmhouse is a tall red pony with a large collar that's probably made of wood. I think I've met him before. "Big Mac, right?" I ask him.

"Eyup." He says. I wait for him to add something else. He doesn't.

"Have we met before?"

"Eyup."

Is that all he says? If so, his vocabulary is still more diverse than the average pop rap song. "Oh, yeah. I remember meeting you here a while ago." I stretch my arms. "Anyway, for building your barn, I'm probably not going to be able to help out. My hand's in bad condition."

"Didn't yah burn it or somethin'?" Applejack asks.

I nod. "I can at least guide you a bit. Like the foreman." I think that's the foreman's job, at least. "Could you take me to where the barn's going to be?"

They take me outside to a plot of land with a small pile of wood cut into 2x4s and other lengths. "You're going to need more wood, unless you've already got enough."

"We've got plenty of wood, straight from the tree." Applejack says.

"You just use raw wood?" I ask. "You don't put anything on it? No lacquer or anything?"

"Nope." Big Mac says.

I groan. "That's probably why this thing keeps falling over. I'm not a construction worker, but I know that lacquer makes wood stronger. Plus, you don't even use a hammer. It's like you just put the wood where it should go and hope for the best." Nopony says anything in response. "You do that, don't you?"

"Eyup." Big Mac reluctantly admits.

"It's worked for us before." Applejack says.

"Which is why we're here raising your barn. Sometimes breaking tradition is just what you've gotta do to get shit done." I rub my head. I'm going to need an aspirin. Or some alcohol. "I'm gonna let you do this yourselves. I can't do much to help you out because of my hand." I lift up my injured hand. "You said you've got a sister, right?"

"Applebloom, yeah. If yah wanna talk to her, she's prob'ly in the treehouse with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo."

"I'll be there if you need me." I tell them and head outside. Finding the treehouse isn't difficult at all. It's in sight of the front door. I walk towards the treehouse. Instead of wood planks nailed to the trunk of the tree, there's a slope. It makes sense, seeing as how ponies don't exactly have any fingers to climb ladders.

I take a step on the slope. The door of the treehouse opens. A yellow filly with a red mane and wearing a similarly red bow pops her head out. "Hiya." She says. "Yer that Mark fellow that's been goin' 'round, right?"

"Yeah. Are you Apple Bloom?"

"Yep. Do yah wanna come in? It's gonna rain tonight. Bein' outside in the rain's not very fun."

No shit. "Yeah. Thanks, Apple Bloom. It's weird that I haven't noticed it before, but she doesn't seem too surprised, startled, or scared to see a creature nearly four times her size.

"Thanks, Apple Bloom." I walk up the slope.

When I reach the top, she stops me with her hoof. "Mah friends aren't exactly... Into news. Ah doubt they know much 'bout yah."

"So no sudden movements. Alright, I got it."

She opens the door. "Ah'm back, an' I got a new friend."

"Does she have a cutie mark?" A voice from inside says.

"Ah dunno." Apple Bloom gestures for me to step inside.

I do. Inside is an orange pegasus with a purple mane and a white unicorn with a light purple and pink mane. Both of the two are fillies. The two stop dead in their tracks the second they see me. "Hi." I give them a slight wave of the hand. "I'm Apple Bloom's friend. I don't have a cutie mark."

I think I'm about as scared as these two are, but in a completely different way. It's obvious why they're scared. I don't want them to over react and cause a small stampede. If they do and it kills me, I think I'd be okay with it. There couldn't possibly be a cuter death. Of course, I'd rather want to die a badass death. Maybe a sword fight on top of an icy mountain? That'd be fucking awesome.

"Uh..." The slight noise derails my Train of Thought. "I thought the group was for ponies only." The pegasus says. "I know we're going out to get cutie marks, but I thought only ponies could get them. It's kind of common sense that only ponies would be able to join is."

I let out a deep sigh of relief. It's kind of saddening that I won't die a cute death. An awesome one's still possible, I guess. "I thought you were going to freak out about me."

"Nah. I pay attention to the news." The pegasus replies. "It's kind of hard to hear about a myth coming to life. Especially when they just went on a date with my idol."

I blink. I didn't expect fillies to know about my romantic life, especially when it's basically just started today. News must travel fast in Ponyville. It makes sense. There can't be more than a couple thousand ponies here.