Rebirth

"I'll be back with your requested clothes as soon as I possibly can." Rarity says.

"When you're back, you can just open the door. You don't have to knock." I say before she heads out of my house.

After Rarity leaves, I lean back. I never noticed how easy it is to make me bored. I would take a shower to kill the time, but I don't want Rarity to walk in on me showering. Not to mention that I can't even stand up in a shower right now. Any of my other ideas for passing the time would probably involve nudity in some way. A shower's probably the best idea, even if I can't stand while having one.

Besides, I could really use a cold shower right now.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." I repeat as I try to get out of the shower. In hindsight, taking a shower with this piece of shit legs was a terrible idea. Getting inside the shower was easy. If I keep this up, I'm going to end up falling on my face and breaking my jaw.

After at least twenty minutes of uncomfortably trying to get in the shower, and another forty of getting in and actually showering, I manage to crawl out and into the wheelchair. The payoff isn't worth the time and effort. The wheelchair is still uncomfortable.

Getting my clothes back on takes far less time, fortunately. There's a knock at the door just after I get the last piece of my clothes on. "Rarity? If that's you, come in." The door opens to reveal Rarity with a surprising amount of clothes. By the looks of it, just pants. "Damn, Rarity. You made all of those in an hour?"

"Most of them, yes." Rarity replies. I see a faint blush on her cheeks. She floats them over to my side. "About 25 percent of them were from before, when you first asked me to make clothes for you. I know you asked for denim back then, but I just got carried away."

I hold up a hand. "That's alright, Rarity." She smiles at that. "I've just gotta say thanks." I tell her. I look at the pants again. A scowl crawls onto my face. No matter how hard I try, I can't wipe it off.

"Is anything wrong with them?" She inquires.

"Why are they so fancy? I don't have anything wrong with fancy, but I just think they'd be for casual events, not dinners in Canterlot." I reply. I'm not sure if all of Canterlot is fancy or not. Equestria just kind of seems like the place to have cities that fit into one stereotype. Kind of like how planets in Star Wars have only one biome.

Rarity gives me a smile. “Every mare’s crazy for a sharp dressed stallion.” Rarity replies. Now I can’t imagine her with a long beard. Surprisingly, the mental image looks good. I think she could pull it off. Rarity pulls her eyes away from me. "I'll have to get going. I promised somepony that I would help them with a... Oh, how can I put this kindly? A... Fashion disaster."

"Alright. See you later, Rarity." I say and give her a wave goodbye. She leaves my home. I lean back in the wheelchair. I need to get some sort of padding for this piece of shit.

I hear a knocking on the door. Damn. How many ponies are going to talk to me today? “It’s open!” I shout so the pony behind it can hear. The door opens. A dark pink mare with a two-toned light pink mane and tail steps inside. This mare has three daisies as her cutie mark. “Oh, hello.” I say to her.

“Hi, Mark.” She says. I want to ask her how she knows my name. Then I remember I’m twice as tall as everypony and stick out like a drunk man in a fancy restaurant. “My name is Cheerilee. I’m the teacher at the schoolhouse. Would you be willing to stop by someday soon and speak to the foals? They heard about what happened between you and Apple Bloom and her friends.” She asks with a cute smile.

I hesitate to answer. If I accept, I’ll be swarmed by little equines and possibly die from an overdose of adorable. If I refuse, I’ll be seen as an asshole. “Yeah, sure. I’ll go.” I say. I accept my death. “My legs are kind of… fucky, for lack of a better word.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Can you elaborate?”

“They don’t really work. I’m going through physical therapy so they’ll be less fucky.”

Cheerilee blinks. “I’m pretty sure there’s a word for that.”

I shrug. “If there is, it’s not in my dictionary.” I reply. “So, do you have any date for my visit in mind?”

“I was thinking next week, seven days from now.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll be free then. My legs should be less fucky by then, too.”

She groans. “Could you at least not speak like that around the foals?”

I shrug. “I’ll do my best.” The Cutie Mark Crusaders didn't seem to complain.

She exhales through her nose. "Well... Alright, then. I'll see you in a week." She says with a nod and heads out of my house.

Night comes by slowly. Sleep comes by even faster. The sun invades my eyes and forces me open. Sometimes, I think Princess Celestia is doing that on purpose, positioning the sun perfectly so it hits me in the eyes. I rub my eyes and sit up. I'm not a morning person, to be honest. I just hate spending hours staying in bed and not being able to sleep.

I look around for the wheelchair. I see it on the other side of the room. There's no way I can get to it without crawling there. If Rarity just happened to come in to check up on me, she'd see me fucking up her new clothes for me. I'm not going to do that.

I sit on the side of my bed and just glare at the wheelchair. It's just sitting there, mocking me in all it's mobile gloriness. Fuck you too, wheelchair.

I scratch my head. Maybe I could take it as a sign that I can actually walk now. I haven't even tried to since I was put in it. I shrug. Fuck it. I'm trying.

I firmly put a foot forwards and push my body up. My leg holds my weight. I smile. I move my other leg towards the wheelchair. That one holds too. I take another step without any difficulty. I pump a fist.

I've got to let somepony know that my legs are actually being legs again. I grab a nearby piece of paper, which is just a napkin, and a pen and start writing on it.

Dear Princess Luna,

My Princess, I can walk!

I look at the letter. These ponies don't have Dr. Strangelove, so they aren't going to understand that reference. Ah, fuck it. I'm keeping it like that. I should also probably add my name.

Now that I think about it, Luna probably doesn't get a lot of letters sent via magic, and certainly fewer from ponies that can't walk. She should know who this is from. I set the letter on fire. It disappears like it usually does when I do that.

I rub my chin. I should send a letter to Rainbow Dash. I don't know if she would get it, though. I shrug and write one up to Twilight. It's basically the same as the one I sent to Luna, but with an added message asking if Twilight could also tell Rainbow Dash. I set this one on fire, too.

A few minutes later, I hear rapid knocking on the door. By 'rapid,' I'm talking about a speed that would make DragonForce impressed. Before I even get the chance to say anything, it opens. A blue blur enters less than a split second later and tackles me onto my bed. I look at the thing on my chest. "Hey, Rainbow Dash." I say.

She wraps her hooves around me. Her wings extend. "Hi, Mark." She says after a second. She doesn't add anything else.

And so we stay there for a few hours. I love these silent moments. Dates are fun and all, but I don’t think they can ever beat these kinds of times. There’s just something about doing nothing and having Rainbow close to me. I can’t easily tell what it is that I love about just laying here. It’s certainly better than watching a pegasus almost killing herself or me being turned halfway into stone.

"Mark?" Rainbow Dash suddenly asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I ask. "What's up?"

"Just a question. Do you ever think about your past? Before Equestria?"

I shift my weight. Honestly, this is a question I never expected to be asked. I should have expected it sometime. "You know, Rainbow..." I start. I let out a sigh to stall a bit. "Honestly, no. I haven't." I admit. It surprises her just as much as it surprises me. "Barely, I mean. I've just had thoughts of my brother and Dana, my best friend. I haven't had any other thoughts. I haven't wanted to go back to Earth for any reason."

Rainbow Dash stays silent. I wait for her to say something, but nothing comes out from her. I move to get a better look at her face. It shifts from something that I don't have enough time to identify to a nearly expressionless face.

"But," I continue, "I definitely prefer Equestria. Earth was filled with assholes, to put it kindly. Equestria's easily the best place I've ever been in. It's not a utopia, sure, but I'd rather live here than shithole Earth. There were plenty of beautiful cities, don't get me wrong, but looks can be deceiving."

Rainbow nods once. "I get it." She says in response. She doesn't add anything to that.

"Is something on your mind?"

She huffs out a sigh. She shakes her head. "No. Nothing important." She lifts her head. "Well, it's probably important."

"What's up, Dash?" I ask.

"An old... 'friend' showed up here while you were recovering." She replies. Her emphasis on 'friend' tells me that this new pony is an asshole.

I push myself up. Rainbow jumps off me. I stand up on my feet. "Let me meet her." I crack a single finger with my thumb.

Rainbow notices that. She looks up at me and smirks. "You're going to hate her." She walks out of my house and I follow her. She continues walking somewhere.

"So, where is this mystery mare?" I ask.

"Sugarcube Corner." Rainbow replies.

I look up at the sky. "Shouldn't it be closed by now?"

"Yep."

I blink. I doubt Rainbow's referring to Pinkie or any of the Cakes. I don't think they had any arguments or fights recently. Besides, I don't hate any of them. Pinkie's an adorable ball of insanity and the Cakes are rational and most likely not insane. I couldn't name anypony that Rainbow could be talking about.

Rainbow guides me to Sugarcube Corner. Inside is a single creature sitting at a table facing away from the door. I now know why I couldn't name a single pony like that. This creature? She's not a pony. She's vaguely equine in form, but looks like she was fused with a bird of prey, like a vulture or a falcon.

The creature turns to us. She looks at me with curiosity. "What are you supposed to be? An ape?" I bite down on my lip to keep from speaking out. I bite hard enough to draw blood. It tastes terrible. She looks at Rainbow. "Got a new friend, Dashie?"

I glance at Rainbow. She's rearing down, like she's ready for a fight. "Shut it, Gilda."

I lean in towards her. "You know her?"

"Don't remind me." Rainbow replies.

"I can hear you two." Gilda, the creature in front of us, interrupts. "You're being boring." She gets out of her seat and steps forward.

I really don't like her. "Boring?" I mockingly ask. "Where did you pick that line up? It was so expertly crafted, I might have to use it sometime."

“Dweeb.” She mutters under her breath. If this was 1995, that would have been somewhat insulting. Now, it’s just funny to hear. I laugh at the word. “What was that, dork?” I laugh again. “Stop laughing.”

“Stop using stupid insults.” I retort. She looks like she’s going to attack. “Oh, don’t worry. Those words are more threatening than North Korea.”

“What?” She shakes her head. “Whatever, dork.”

“Are you new to insults or something? Is that all you have?” This is starting to get annoying.

“Shut up, dweeb.” She starts to blush faintly. I can feel a headache coming along. So she’s one of those kinds of bullies… Alright. I can play along.

“‘Dweeb?’ ‘Dork?’” I’m ready to punch her in the face. I’m not afraid to hit a girl. “Are those ‘90s insults all you have?”

“Fuck you!” She shouts.

“There we go!” I shout back. “You can use more than just two insults! Got any more?”

“Shut the fuck up or I’ll fuck you up! Motherfucking asshole! Fuck you, stupid bitch!”

“Sticks and stones, bitch. Sticks and stones.”

“Don’t make me fucking get them.” She glares into my eyes.

“Go ahead. I’ve got my own.” I glance at my arms. She follows my eyes. We lock eyes again. “Break my bones, Gilda. I dare you. I double dare you, motherfucker. Break my bones.”

She throws an open clawed punch at my chest. I see it coming, but I’m not fast enough to completely evade it. All it does is harmlessly scratch my shirt. Rarity’s going to be pissed.

I throw my own punch at her. She pulls her head back. My hand connects with the tip of her beak. It puts a large scratch on my hand going from the knuckle to the wrist.

Gilda takes the chance to rapidly peck me in the chest twice with her beak. It pierces through my shirt easily. Her beak is stopped only by my sternum. The adrenaline completely numbs the pain.

When Gilda moves her head back, I take the chance to pull her into a headlock. She half gasps, half chokes. It’s no surprise. I’ve got a tight grip around her neck. There’s no chance I’m loosening it.

Her claws move spastically. The one I see is hitting the ground, kicking up dust. I feel her other claw against my back. Oh shit.

The claw against my back digs down into the skin and thrusts down rapidly. It’s out of my back before I even feel pain. Once it hits, it’s like a freight train. I release my grip around her neck and cry out in pain. She kicks me to the ground. My scratched-up back hits the dirt. Gilda jumps on me and starts clawing at my face and chest.

Something, however, knocks her off me. I roll over to my side and see Rainbow Dash on top of the downed Gilda. “Get the fuck out of here!” She shouts.

Gilda scrambles backwards as if she’s afraid of Rainbow. She crawls to her talons. “I’ll be back for you.” She says, glaring into my eyes.

“Get. Out.” Rainbow Dash says to Gilda. Her words have more venom than a cobra. It’s enough to visibly scare the shit out of Gilda. She flies away with her tail between her legs. Rainbow flies over to me. Her face of worry is completely different from her actions just a few seconds ago. “Are you okay?”

I open my mouth, but can’t say anything. I shake my head.

Rainbow turns her head to a pony I can’t see. “Get a doctor!” She shouts. She turns back to me. “Just keep your eyes open. Look at me.” I look into her eyes. My eyelids feel like lead in water. “Just keep breathing, Mark.”

I struggle to keep them open. Breathing is getting harder. My vision is fading.

I don't know what happens in the next few moments. I think I blacked out. It's the only possible answer I can think of.

I open my eyes. The sudden brightness nearly blinds me. I move my arm to help block the light, but a piercing pain forces me to put it back. "Fuck..." I mutter and close my eyes.

I hear hooves on a hard floor. "Mark!" Rainbow Dash's voice says. "By Celestia, I thought you died..."

I open my eyes back up. The light hurts again, but it's not enough to kill this semi-romantic moment. "It would take more than that to kill me."

“How do you feel?” Rainbow asks, resting a hoof on my hand.

“To be honest? I feel pretty fucking terrible. The painkillers help. They can’t completely get rid of the pain, though.” I rub my face. “And to think I just started walking again... And I just got out of the hospital, too. I’m getting more fucked up in Equestria than I ever have before. This is, what, my third visit to the hospital?” I rub my head and sigh. “What the fuck was Gilda?”

“A gryphon.” Rainbow replies.

I lean back. How did I forget that name? “Rainbow, I think you saved my life back there. I owe you one.”

“Two.” She corrects. “Remember the cockatrice?”

“Right. You’ve got to stop saving my ass, Rainbow.” I rub my face. "I mean, if you actually need to save my ass, then save my ass."

"It's not my fault you've got such a nice ass." Rainbow says.

I blink. I'm sort of feeling that this is revenge, for lack of a better word, for that 'suck a dick' comment I made to her a while ago. "Did the doctor say how long I'd have to be here?"

Rainbow puts on a smile of victory. It drops a second later. "Three days. It's pretty good for those injuries." She says.

I nod. "Yeah. I guess I dodged a bullet with that."

"What's a bullet?"

Before I can answer, there's a knock on the door. It surrounds itself in golden aura and opens, revealing Princess Celestia. Rainbow Dash turns to her and bows. I try to sit up, but the pain forces me to stay down. Celestia gives me a soft look that just screams 'sadness.' "At ease, my little ponies." She says. She looks at me again. I know what she's asking. She doesn't need words for me to know.

"Gilda, that gryphon bitch, did this to me." I say to Celestia.

“I know. You don't have to worry about her, Mark. Gilda won’t be showing up any time soon.” Celestia says with a smile. “I have issued a warrant for her arrest.”

“Arrest?” I fight back a snort. “Fuck that. Make it an execution.”

“I second that.” Rainbow Dash adds. “She’s got to go.”

Celestia shakes her head. “I apologize, my little ponies, but I cannot legally sentence Gilda to death for assault. I may be a leader of the country, but I’m still in the bounds of the law.”

“Then let her come to Ponyville just once. I’m going to beat the shit out of that pigeon. I won’t accept defeat from that rat with wings.” I tell Celestia.

“No, Mark.” She shakes her head even harder. “If you do, I’ll have to put you in jail for assault.”

I cross my arms and sigh. “Alright, then… But still, if she comes back, I’m going to get some revenge.”

“Just don’t kill her.” Rainbow tells me.

“I’ll try not to.” I turn back to Celestia. “Also, can you do something about that Blueblood guy? He told me to kiss his hoof for no reason.”

Her face darkens a bit. “Oh. Blueblood. I don’t like him, either, to be entirely truthful. He is my nephew, so I’m bound by law to allow him in the castle of Canterlot when he wishes to. I have been trying to find an excuse to get him arrested or deported, however.”

“Can’t you do that without a reason?”

“With Princess Luna’s agreement, I will be able to. I am a diarch, not a monarch. I know my sister doesn’t like Blueblood. Despite our mutual dislike of Blueblood, I will not arrest or deport him without any reason. I don’t want my little ponies to view me as a tyrant.”

I sigh. “Alright. I get it.” I lean back in the bed. "Tell Luna I said 'hi.' I feel like I haven't seen her in a week." I say to Celestia.

She gives me a nod. "I will. I have to go now. I hope to see you again in the near future." Princess Celestia says.

"See you later." I say with a wave of the hand.