Rebirth

The next morning, I feel absolutely terrible. It’s not like a common cold. This is more like a migraine. A migraine, but centered in the stomach. I can feel pain spread over almost every centimeter of my body.

What the hell caused this much pain? The experiments with Twilight is the first to come to mind. If that’s the case, I would have probably felt this much pain after waking up in the hospital.

Maybe it’s what I’m eating. What I’m not eating would be a better phrase. I haven’t had any kind of meat here. Yeah, that’s probably why I feel like this.

There’s a soft knocking at the door. It slowly opens to reveal Fluttershy. She looks like she’s hiding behind it. “M-Mark? It’s almost noon… Are you going to have any breakfast?” I sit up, which upsets my stomach nearly to the point of throwing up. Fluttershy notices my pain and seems to share it with me. “A-Are you okay?” She asks, but I know she knows the answer. She steps inside. I open my mouth. My throat hurts too much to say anything. I shake my head. Fluttershy walks over to me and places a hoof on my forehead. “You’re really hot, Mark…” She says in a worried tone.

“I know.” I manage to cough out. My soft laughter nearly tears my throat. “Ow.”

“I’d better get somepony to help.” She says, then trots out the door with speed that would make Rainbow Dash jealous.

For what feels like hours, but is probably closer to 10 minutes, I just sit there being miserable due to the pain from whatever sickness I have. I’m probably overreacting, but I am in a lot of pain. It’s not as bad as being kicked in the balls. I’ve been bedridden for days because of that happening

Fluttershy walks in, with Applejack flanking her. She’s wearing saddlebags. “Hiya, Mark.” The country mare says. I wave at her. “Ah’ve got some medicines fer yah. Ah dunno what yer feelin’, so Ah brough different kinds ah medicines. Food, too.”

“I’ll just leave you two alone.” Fluttershy says on her way out. “If you need me, I’ll be downstairs.”

Applejack and I bid her a temporary farewell. “Now Ah’ll admit, Ah’m not the best doc in Ponyville. That honor’d prob’ly go to Twi. She’s busy in her castle, or somethin’.” She grabs a bottle of medicine in her mouth and puts it on the bedside table. I notice that it’s some sort of liquid. Ugh. I’ve always hated taking liquid medicine. I can take pills easily.

Applejack pours some of the liquid, which is clear but slightly brown, into the cap. “Drink it, Mark.” She says, noticing my hesitation. “It’s fer sore throats.”

I pick up the cap and quickly pour the bitter medicine down my throat. I almost spit it out. The taste alone makes me want to throw up. I shudder horribly. “God, that’s fucking disgusting.”

Applejack sighs and shakes her head. “Ah’d shame yah for yer language, but Ah’m used to it. Big Mac can get vulgar when he hurts himself.”

“Who?”

“Big Mac’s mah older brother. Macintosh Apple is his real name.”

So he’s a sandwich and a computer. I chuckle at my mental joke. Applejack notices and looks slightly angry. “Sorry. I just thought of something.”

“Relatin’ to mah brother?” She accuses.

Applejack looks like she wants to fight. I’m not in any condition to. Even if I was, I don’t think I could fight a pony. I’ve always hated animal abuse. Plus, I have no idea how quadrupeds fight. I’m somewhat used to human fights. I’ve seen plenty and I’ve been in a few of them. Since I don’t want to fight, I hold up my hands in defense. “Indirectly, yeah. His name just reminds me of something from Earth.” My throat starts to hurt again.

She loosens up, fortunately. I can see some hostility in her eyes, though. “Okay, then…” She says. I doubt she believes me. “So, Mark. Could yah tell me some more ‘bout Earth?”

I nod and start to tell her what I told Twilight the other day.

Near the end of my speech, there’s a knock on the door. “Can I come in?” A voice that isn’t Fluttershy asks. I recognize it, but can’t place a name to the voice.

“Yeah.” I say. The door opens, revealing the violet Alicorn from before. The name comes to me. Twilight Sparkle. In my defense, I’m terrible with names.

“I heard from Fluttershy that you’re sick. Is it true?” She asks, studying my body.

I nod. “Yeah. Applejack here came over to help out. She brought some medicine and food for me.” I gesture to the Earth pony, who smiles triumphantly.

“How are you feeling?” Twilight asks. I tell her my symptoms. “I’m not familiar with human biology, so I can’t give you a diagnosis or even a prognosis. If you were a pony, the likely affliction would be malnourishment. Since you’ve only been here for a few days, I doubt that’s the problem.” She scratches the side of her head. Her eyes open and I can almost see a lightbulb over her head. “Maybe Princess Celestia would know! I’ll be back.” She runs out of the room.

“So Twi’s gettin’ Celestia to help yah…” Applejack says. She sounds almost sad.

I sit up. Judging from Applejack’s tone, she wants to spend more time with me. “You’ve got an apple farm, right?”

“Ah live in one. Why?” She inquires.

“I could help you out around there. I don’t have much experience with farms, but I can do my best.” I say. She puts on a wide and arguably cute smile. “And we haven’t hung out very much. I’d like to get to know you a bit more.”

“Sure. Ah can always use some help ‘round the farm.” She mumbles something under her breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothin’.” She says. For somepony with the title ‘Element of Honesty’, I’m not surprised she’s a terrible liar.

I pretend I fall for it, though. “Alright, then.”

Applejack heads out sometime after the conversation. Twilight comes in after the country mare left. The Alicorn has a letter with her, which she’s carrying with her magic. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to living in a world with magic. And I can’t even use it. I was so close to being a Jedi, too.

“Read this, Mark, then come with me outside.” Twilight says. She sits down. I read the letter out loud.

Dear Mark Cleveland

It has come to my attention, via my faithful student Twilight Sparkle, that you have fallen ill. To find a prognosis, I read through my old books on mythological creatures for assistance. The information on your species was limited, but I may have found an answer. Humans are omnivorous, and you likely have had nothing but what ponies eat. No doubt is the food from your planet different. I have sent a letter to the Griffon Empire to request packages of meat for your diet. The meat shall arrive within two days. If meat fails to assist, I apologize in advance and will do my best to make you feel functional.

Princess Celestia

“I can see why Princess Celestia is a leader of Equestria. She’s making sure each and every one of her subjects are feeling happy.” I think out loud. Celestia’s either doing that, or she doesn’t want to feel guilty about the death of a mythological creature.

Now they’ve all got me calling myself a myth.

After a second, Twilight starts to look nervous. “I… I didn’t know you were an omnivore. I thought you were an herbivore, like all ponies.”

The way she says that, I know what she’s thinking. “Don’t worry, Twilight. I won’t eat you or your friends.” I say quickly. She calms down noticeably. “I’d be a terrible person if I ate ponies. Especially one as nice or cute as you.”

She flinches slightly, like I just punched her in the face. “You think I’m cute?”

“Yeah. I'm talking about love. You’re cute in the way baby animals are. I think it’s the color of your coat.” I say. I don’t want anybody or anypony thinking I have a crush on them when I don’t. “Back on Earth, horses aren’t violet, green, blue, pink, or almost every other color. Mostly brown, black, or white.”

Twilight nods. “I see. It must be hard getting used to seeing ponies of so many colors.”

“Very. Especially when one has every color of the rainbow on them. You know the one I’m talking about.”

Twilight smiles. “Rainbow Dash.”

“Yep.” I let out a sigh. “You know, Twilight, I’m glad I’m in Equestria now. Earth… It’s far from a utopia. Equestria is far better than Earth. It had wars almost every year I’ve been there. The pollution was terrible. Humans were terribly over populated. There were over 7 billion on the planet when I got out.”

“That sounds terrible.”

“It was. That’s just some of it. You know what murder is, right?”

Just from her expression, I can tell she does. “Yeah… Fortunately, Equestria doesn’t have much of it.”

“You’re lucky, then. There’s murder pretty much daily on Earth.” Twilight gasps. “Some of the killers never get caught. There was a guy that sent notes to the police to taunt them. He hasn’t been caught, and the killings happened 40 years before I came here.”

“Dear Celestia…”

“Do you want me to stop?” I ask. I kind of hope she wants me to.

She sincerely contemplates it for a second. “I want you to, but I also want to learn as much as I can about Earth. I guess… Tell me more.”

I sigh. “If you say so.”

I start to tell Twilight as much as I can about the darkest parts of Earth’s history. I mention disasters, both natural and man made. Accidental and intentional.

“Are you okay?” Twilight asks, thankfully interrupting my speech. “You’re crying.”

I wipe my face. “I guess not. I didn’t even know I was.”

“You can stop now.” Twilight says. She wraps me in a hug. It’s honestly one of the most comforting things I’ve experienced. I return it after less than a second of hesitation.

“Thanks, Twi. I needed that.” I say after the hug breaks. “If you really want to know more about how shitty Earth can get, I’ll tell you later.”

“I’ll only want to know when you want to tell me.” She says.

I nod. I want to change the subject. “So… Celestia can move the sun and Luna can move the moon?”

Twilight beams with pride, as if she can do both herself. “Yep! There’s a reason why they’re the rulers of Equestria. They’re very skilled with magic and they’re great leaders.”

“So, the sun and moon orbit this planet?”

“Yes they do. Why do you ask?”

“Earth orbits its sun and the Moon orbits Earth.” I say. Twilight tries to suppress her expression that’s a mix of surprise and confusion.

“How?”

“It’s natural. There’s not any magic on Earth, I think.”

“No magic? None at all?”

“Just the occasional person to come around and claim they’re a magician and swindle the people of their money. Most of it’s just sleight of hand or things everybody knows how to do.”

“Then how does Earth orbit its sun?”

I shrug. “I don’t know, exactly. I’m not an expert on that, but I’ll do my best to answer. Earth orbits the sun because it formed there. There’s different hypotheses for the origin of the planet. Some think it has to do with a nebula. Others think it’s because of a deity. I don’t really have an opinion, but I doubt it’s the latter.”

“So you’re an atheist?” Twilight asks. She seems to be truly surprised.

I’ve got a perfect chance to bring up Epona. But I don’t. “I was. I met a god just yesterday. I guess I’m not an atheist anymore, then.”

“Technically, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna aren’t goddesses. They’re close, though. I believe the term is demigoddess.”

Spike walks in, interrupting the conversation. “I just got a letter from Princess Celestia. It’s for Mark.”

I take the letter. “Thanks, Spike.” He leaves the room. I open the letter and read it out loud.

Dear Mark Cleveland

I have recently been informed that you are living with Fluttershy for the time being. To lessen the burden of having to take care of a being belonging to a different species, my sister and I have commissioned a house in Ponyville for you to live in. It will be built within the week. I have another gift for you that I shall personally deliver within the hour.

Princess Celestia

“Like I said, Princess Celestia is very kind. Fluttershy’s got some competition for kindest pony.”

“Princess Celestia was actually the original bearer of the Element of Kindness.” Twilight says with a smile.

“Really?”

She nods, still holding onto that smile of hers. “It’s true.”

Damn. I have even more respect for Princess Celestia.

True to her word, Princess Celestia stops by in less than an hour. Fluttershy and Twilight join me outside. I’ve never seen her, but I can just tell which one she is. Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe her. Her coat is white, similar to Rarity. Her mane is long and flowing, like Luna’s. She has a picture of a blazing sun on her flank. I still need to ask about those.

Her horn is the longest I’ve seen on a pony. With it, she’s almost as tall as I am. If she wanted to, she could easily poke my eyes out with no difficulty. “Hello, my little ponies. And a fond hello to the only human in Equestria.” She smiles at the three of us.

I give her a bow. “Hello, Princess Celestia. It’s an honor to meet you.”

“And an honor to meet you, Mark.” She says, tipping her head slightly at me. “And you don’t have to bow to me.”

“It shows respect, which you deserve.” I stop bowing and I notice that Princess Celestia is slightly blushing. Damn, I’m good with girls. So why am I single? Probably because I’ve only been in Equestria for a few days.

“The reason I’m here, Mark, is to give you a gift. You’ll need it.”

She pulls out a small bag from somewhere with her magic. The small bag floats over to me. I catch it. It’s heavier than I thought. I pull the string on it. The bag opens, revealing several golden coins. “What are these?”

“These are bits. They’re the currency Equestria uses.” Celestia says. “There are 3,000 bits in that bag for you.”

“Damn.” I don’t know how much a bit is worth, but it sounds like a lot. The gasp from Twilight and Fluttershy, who I briefly forgot were here, implies that it is. “Thank you, Princess Celestia. Is there anything I can give you as thanks?”

“Just your words are enough, Mark.” Celestia says, giving me a faint bow. She spreads her wings, ready to take off for Canterlot. “One more thing: If you learn anything about friendship, write a letter and give it to Twilight.”

“I will.”

Princess Celestia takes off. I turn to Twilight and Fluttershy. If these two are anything like the girls I knew on Earth… “So, since I just got a lot of money, want to go on a shopping trip?”

“Aren’t you still sick?” Twilight asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I got better.” I have to force myself to not use a British accent. Twilight narrows her eyes slightly. “Applejack gave me some medicine. I guess it helped me already. Medicine usually works fast on me.”

Twilight’s accusatory gaze drops. “I would be willing to. What about you, Fluttershy?” She turns around, discovering that Fluttershy somehow disappeared. Probably into her house. “Fluttershy?” She repeats. Twilight turns back to me. “I guess she doesn’t want to go shopping.”

I shrug. “We can invite the others.”

“Rarity would definitely want to. I doubt Applejack and Rainbow would want to. I’m not sure about Pinkie, though. We’ll have to ask her.”

“We should ask them all.”